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(Huffington Post)   Bar will host "Smallest Penis Contest" ... and since it will be held in New York, competition is expected to be stiff   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 56
    More: Amusing, New York, pissing contests  
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11177 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 May 2013 at 8:25 PM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-05-18 03:13:41 PM
12 votes:
The winner will actually probably get laid for his troubles. After all, he'll have the whole self-confidence thing going for him, and farking him means you automatically have a hilarious sex-anecdote. ("Oh yeah? Well  I had this guy once who was so tiny he won a  trophy for it!") Trust me, that guy will be inch-deep in Brooklyn hipster poon for weeks.

It's the guy who finishes second who is going to have to be put on suicide watch.
2013-05-18 01:51:52 PM
11 votes:
2013-05-18 11:45:31 PM
9 votes:
My Thai GF says a small penis shouldn't matter

I still wish she didn't have one
2013-05-18 03:30:30 PM
8 votes:
The small penis guys are always the biggest dicks.
2013-05-18 01:45:50 PM
8 votes:
"Smallest Penis Contest"

aka "Nothing To See Here"
2013-05-18 08:31:30 PM
7 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-05-18 07:15:28 PM
6 votes:
Another damn thing the Chinese will beat us in.
2013-05-18 02:56:17 PM
6 votes:
Hold it in tandem with "Largest Clitoris Contest" and the two winners could have a face off .... so to speak.
2013-05-18 09:04:16 PM
5 votes:

Kenny B: Vienna Sausagefest.


FTFY
2013-05-18 08:57:46 PM
5 votes:
www.celebritiesheight.com
Last years winner
2013-05-18 09:02:29 PM
4 votes:
I'm 6'4" yet somehow got robbed genetically. I blame my Irish ancestors.

On the plus side, I'm an alcoholic.
2013-05-18 08:40:18 PM
4 votes:
If you want an epic troll have someone who could probably win the worlds biggest penis contest enter the smallest penis contest for the lols
2013-05-18 08:30:28 PM
4 votes:
How will anyone find parking with all the giant trucks in the parking lot?
2013-05-18 11:32:35 PM
3 votes:

WhippingBoy: So how exactly is this different from a typical Fark party?


In this contest wet underwear is provided.  At most Fark parties the attendees are required moisten their own underwear.
2013-05-18 10:32:09 PM
3 votes:
The grand prize:

pad1.whstatic.com

We call it a thimble. They call it a penis cozy.
2013-05-18 10:22:26 PM
3 votes:
C'mon . . . there's plenty of parking for all contestants!

2.bp.blogspot.com
2013-05-18 08:51:43 PM
3 votes:
Give me 2 grams of cocaine and I'm all in.
2013-05-18 08:31:52 PM
3 votes:
Wouldn't having that many Hummers in one location be a parking disaster?
2013-05-18 06:48:14 PM
3 votes:
Impromptu Fark party?
2013-05-18 04:21:58 PM
3 votes:
Sources say that no matter who wins, no one is going home with a big package..
2013-05-18 11:02:45 PM
2 votes:
Since it's in New York they could bill it as

THE SMALLEST DICKS ON THE BIGGEST PRICKS!
2013-05-18 10:16:45 PM
2 votes:
i289.photobucket.com
2013-05-18 09:51:33 PM
2 votes:
A challenger appears....

i759.photobucket.com
2013-05-18 09:28:27 PM
2 votes:

libranoelrose: The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: I'm 6'4" yet somehow got robbed genetically. I blame my Irish ancestors.

On the plus side, I'm an alcoholic.

It's OK, I hear the Irish women are sluts to make up for it.


Brings a tear to my eye thinkin' of dear old ma
2013-05-18 09:04:24 PM
2 votes:
I predict the winners name is Mike Roe Johnson.
2013-05-18 08:53:15 PM
2 votes:
Look for the biggest steroid users driving Hummers with the gun rack in the back.
2013-05-18 08:36:42 PM
2 votes:
I thought that the GOP has this every 4 years as a tie breaker for who wins the primary
2013-05-18 08:32:42 PM
2 votes:
A month of TotalFark says the winner will be an NRA lifetime member.
2013-05-18 08:28:36 PM
2 votes:

jehovahs witness protection: The small penis guys are always the biggest dicks.


So yours is inverted, I take it.
2013-05-18 08:03:32 PM
2 votes:
Does the winner get a Hummer?
2013-05-19 03:45:45 PM
1 votes:
Already been done...

blogs-images.forbes.com
2013-05-19 03:31:43 PM
1 votes:

Smackledorfer: Lidocaine: sethen320: cygnusx13: sethen320: Poopspasm: A month of TotalFark says the winner will be an NRA lifetime member.

50 bucks says you're a trolling douchebag.

Waaah. Someone made a joke about your beloved gun buddies. Maybe YOU should enter the contest.

No, I don't care about the NRA or whatever...just wish we could keep the gun and politics thread a bit separated.  It's obvious what the douche was trying to do, he wants to argue...about something which has nothing to do with this story.  If that's not trolling then what is?

Thank you! I am getting so sick of every single thread getting turned into a pro/anti [obama, guns, terrorists, bronies] flamewar.  It's very tiring.  If I wanted to read a political debate, I'd click on political stories.  But no, douchebags have to go trolling and bringing up off-topic subjects and hijack the whole discussion about penises and whatnot...

It is perfectly on topic to bring up firearms and big cars, or any other small-dick related purchase/hobby.


What about your position on Skub?
2013-05-19 10:30:11 AM
1 votes:

Grumpy Cat: FARK rebel soldier: Bar will host "Smallest Penis Contest" ... and since it will be held in New York, competition is expected to be stiff

Is this a Jewish joke?

It shouldn't be. Most Jews I've been with have been bigger-than-average.

/except for one Israeli


i.chzbgr.com
2013-05-19 09:52:01 AM
1 votes:
Finally, the worm has turned.

/my parents will be so proud
2013-05-19 09:35:16 AM
1 votes:
Those danged in-sourced Indians taking our jerbs and our sex contest trophies.
2013-05-19 02:28:35 AM
1 votes:
What a small penis may look like....

ts4.mm.bing.net
2013-05-19 01:19:25 AM
1 votes:

Sultan Of Herf: Im betting its going to be a bunch of hung guys walking up, showing their junk, and saying "ooops, I lost"...then trying to pick up chicks.


That's my plan.
2013-05-19 12:43:25 AM
1 votes:
I strongly suspect this contest will be won by a man named "Justin."
2013-05-18 11:36:01 PM
1 votes:

RogermcAllen: WhippingBoy: So how exactly is this different from a typical Fark party?

In this contest wet underwear is provided.  At most Fark parties the attendees are required moisten their own underwear.


assets0.ordienetworks.com
2013-05-18 11:08:40 PM
1 votes:

Indolent: Impromptu Fark party?


Impromptu? I thought this was the announcement...
2013-05-18 10:54:45 PM
1 votes:

wildcardjack: Indians (slurpee, not casino) are more likely to win.

BBC report "Condoms 'too big' for Indian men"

Or maybe it'll go to some fat bastard with huge crotch fat.  Most men could add an extra usable inch by losing weight.


Huh, never occurred to me. That's like what, a 33% improvement?

/off to Staples for the stomach treatment
2013-05-18 10:18:27 PM
1 votes:
Im betting its going to be a bunch of hung guys walking up, showing their junk, and saying "ooops, I lost"...then trying to pick up chicks.
2013-05-18 10:12:10 PM
1 votes:
Are TFers expected to dominate the field?
2013-05-18 10:11:50 PM
1 votes:
If I was a car thief I would seriously consider hitting this event.
2013-05-18 10:07:16 PM
1 votes:

The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: I'm 6'4" yet somehow got robbed genetically. I blame my Irish ancestors.

On the plus side, I'm an alcoholic.


(In best Andrew Dice Clay voice) 220 lbs of dynamite with a quarter inch fuse
2013-05-18 10:00:11 PM
1 votes:
I wonder if the naked wizard guy will be there.

NSFW http://vimeo.com/4273363
2013-05-18 09:56:19 PM
1 votes:

Miss Stein: A challenger appears....

[i759.photobucket.com image 445x327]


ic2.pbase.com

all credit to Herb Utsmelz
2013-05-18 09:27:36 PM
1 votes:
...With GG Allin and the Coachella Wizard in the top bracket. Coachella Wizard takes by default for still (presumably) being alive.
2013-05-18 09:09:21 PM
1 votes:
They also "should be comfortable getting hosed down while wearing only skimpy underwear."

Sounds like cheating to me.

 encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
2013-05-18 09:08:11 PM
1 votes:

Oldiron_79: The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: I'm 6'4" yet somehow got robbed genetically. I blame my Irish ancestors.

On the plus side, I'm an alcoholic.

So can I interest you in a new hummer from my dealership?


The whole dealership?
2013-05-18 09:05:14 PM
1 votes:

The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: I'm 6'4" yet somehow got robbed genetically. I blame my Irish ancestors.

On the plus side, I'm an alcoholic.


It's OK, I hear the Irish women are sluts to make up for it.
2013-05-18 08:49:33 PM
1 votes:
A very small trophy would be appropriate.
2013-05-18 08:44:51 PM
1 votes:
The winner just passed me at 50 mph over the limit in a car that cost more than most people's lifetime earnings.  Or was that Karl Rove?
2013-05-18 08:18:58 PM
1 votes:
Why isn't this in the Politics Tab?  We all know that's the countries most storied and continuous "Smallest Penis Contest" going.
2013-05-18 07:59:42 PM
1 votes:
Someone should tell Fox News HQ.  They seem genuinely rubbed raw by Obama but they can't quite put their fingers on it.
2013-05-18 03:42:39 PM
1 votes:

jehovahs witness protection: The small penis guys are always the biggest dicks.


Done!
 
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