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(Huffington Post)   Bar will host "Smallest Penis Contest" ... and since it will be held in New York, competition is expected to be stiff   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 173
    More: Amusing, New York, pissing contests  
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11189 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 May 2013 at 8:25 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-18 01:45:50 PM  
"Smallest Penis Contest"

aka "Nothing To See Here"
 
2013-05-18 01:51:52 PM  
 
2013-05-18 02:56:17 PM  
Hold it in tandem with "Largest Clitoris Contest" and the two winners could have a face off .... so to speak.
 
2013-05-18 03:13:41 PM  
The winner will actually probably get laid for his troubles. After all, he'll have the whole self-confidence thing going for him, and farking him means you automatically have a hilarious sex-anecdote. ("Oh yeah? Well  I had this guy once who was so tiny he won a  trophy for it!") Trust me, that guy will be inch-deep in Brooklyn hipster poon for weeks.

It's the guy who finishes second who is going to have to be put on suicide watch.
 
2013-05-18 03:30:30 PM  
The small penis guys are always the biggest dicks.
 
2013-05-18 03:42:39 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: The small penis guys are always the biggest dicks.


Done!
 
2013-05-18 04:21:58 PM  
Sources say that no matter who wins, no one is going home with a big package..
 
2013-05-18 06:48:14 PM  
Impromptu Fark party?
 
2013-05-18 07:15:28 PM  
Another damn thing the Chinese will beat us in.
 
2013-05-18 07:46:48 PM  

bring to a festering boil: Hold it in tandem with "Largest Clitoris Contest" and the two winners could have a face off .... so to speak.


this would be so easy and so hard to fap to ....
 
2013-05-18 07:58:30 PM  

bring to a festering boil: Hold it in tandem with "Largest Clitoris Contest" and the two winners could have a face off .... so to speak.


It wouldn't be much of a contest if Ms. Del Rio showed up.

gunshyassassin.com
 
2013-05-18 07:59:42 PM  
Someone should tell Fox News HQ.  They seem genuinely rubbed raw by Obama but they can't quite put their fingers on it.
 
2013-05-18 08:03:32 PM  
Does the winner get a Hummer?
 
2013-05-18 08:18:58 PM  
Why isn't this in the Politics Tab?  We all know that's the countries most storied and continuous "Smallest Penis Contest" going.
 
2013-05-18 08:27:48 PM  
Why is there a huge picture of two naked men having sex with apples?!
 
2013-05-18 08:28:36 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: The small penis guys are always the biggest dicks.


So yours is inverted, I take it.
 
2013-05-18 08:30:28 PM  
How will anyone find parking with all the giant trucks in the parking lot?
 
2013-05-18 08:31:30 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-18 08:31:52 PM  
Wouldn't having that many Hummers in one location be a parking disaster?
 
2013-05-18 08:32:42 PM  
A month of TotalFark says the winner will be an NRA lifetime member.
 
2013-05-18 08:36:42 PM  
I thought that the GOP has this every 4 years as a tie breaker for who wins the primary
 
2013-05-18 08:38:43 PM  
Not counting little people, is there small penis porn?
 
2013-05-18 08:38:45 PM  

bring to a festering boil: Hold it in tandem with "Largest Clitoris Contest" and the two winners could have a face off .... so to speak.


images2.static-bluray.com
She'd sweep it.
 
2013-05-18 08:40:18 PM  
If you want an epic troll have someone who could probably win the worlds biggest penis contest enter the smallest penis contest for the lols
 
2013-05-18 08:44:51 PM  
The winner just passed me at 50 mph over the limit in a car that cost more than most people's lifetime earnings.  Or was that Karl Rove?
 
2013-05-18 08:45:35 PM  

bring to a festering boil: Hold it in tandem with "Largest Clitoris Contest" and the two winners could have a face off .... so to speak.


I would think certain transgender/intersex people would have a great chance of winning.  I wonder how/if they're eliminated from the competition.
 
2013-05-18 08:47:12 PM  
Hmmm. Where is this bar exactly?
 
2013-05-18 08:49:33 PM  
A very small trophy would be appropriate.
 
2013-05-18 08:51:00 PM  

traylor: Hmmm. Where is this bar exactly?


Bushwick IIRC
 
2013-05-18 08:51:43 PM  
Give me 2 grams of cocaine and I'm all in.
 
2013-05-18 08:53:15 PM  
Look for the biggest steroid users driving Hummers with the gun rack in the back.
 
2013-05-18 08:53:33 PM  

doyner: Why isn't this in the Politics Tab?  We all know that's the countries most storied and continuous "Smallest Penis Contest" going.


I see you've never visited the Last Post threads.
 
2013-05-18 08:56:07 PM  
what would i win if i went?
 
2013-05-18 08:57:45 PM  

eventhelosers: what would i win if i went?


A parish of your very own.
 
2013-05-18 08:57:46 PM  
www.celebritiesheight.com
Last years winner
 
2013-05-18 08:59:00 PM  
you are the wiener!
 
2013-05-18 08:59:34 PM  
We are very simple people with very small penis. Mr. Hosik's penis is especially small.
 
2013-05-18 08:59:54 PM  
Sausagefest.
 
2013-05-18 09:00:53 PM  

doyner: Why isn't this in the Politics Tab?  We all know that's the countries most storied and continuous "Smallest Penis Contest" going.


Don't worry. Some of the regulars there will show up and mention guns or the NRA, if they haven't already. Some of those guys are incapable of separating guns and penises. Must be sme kind weird fetish.
 
2013-05-18 09:02:29 PM  
I'm 6'4" yet somehow got robbed genetically. I blame my Irish ancestors.

On the plus side, I'm an alcoholic.
 
2013-05-18 09:04:16 PM  

Kenny B: Vienna Sausagefest.


FTFY
 
2013-05-18 09:04:24 PM  
I predict the winners name is Mike Roe Johnson.
 
2013-05-18 09:04:46 PM  

The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: I'm 6'4" yet somehow got robbed genetically. I blame my Irish ancestors.

On the plus side, I'm an alcoholic.


So can I interest you in a new hummer from my dealership?
 
2013-05-18 09:05:14 PM  

The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: I'm 6'4" yet somehow got robbed genetically. I blame my Irish ancestors.

On the plus side, I'm an alcoholic.


It's OK, I hear the Irish women are sluts to make up for it.
 
2013-05-18 09:05:42 PM  

Kenny B: Sausagefest.


Cocktail weenies
 
2013-05-18 09:05:58 PM  
Well I'm out.
 
2013-05-18 09:08:11 PM  

Oldiron_79: The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: I'm 6'4" yet somehow got robbed genetically. I blame my Irish ancestors.

On the plus side, I'm an alcoholic.

So can I interest you in a new hummer from my dealership?


The whole dealership?
 
2013-05-18 09:09:21 PM  
They also "should be comfortable getting hosed down while wearing only skimpy underwear."

Sounds like cheating to me.

 encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-18 09:12:59 PM  

The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: Oldiron_79: The Gordie Howe Hat Trick: I'm 6'4" yet somehow got robbed genetically. I blame my Irish ancestors.

On the plus side, I'm an alcoholic.

So can I interest you in a new hummer from my dealership?

The whole dealership?


So you like my business model setting up accross the street from the Penis enlargement clinic?
 
2013-05-18 09:17:28 PM  
And according to that picture, they're overweight and out of shape too.

And yet, they probably still get laid more than me.

/*mutters and swears*
 
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