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(Eurovision.TV)   90% of the world's known glitter supply is in Malmö as acts from 26 countries put their kitschiest feet forward. Who will get the coveted "douze points"? Your 2013 Eurovision Song Contest thread. This year certified 100% Jedward-free   (eurovision.tv ) divider line
    More: Spiffy, Eurovision Song Contest, CET  
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3436 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 May 2013 at 1:08 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-18 11:00:47 AM  
About four hours to go before the show, and here's the lineup:

1 France: L'Enfer Et Moi by Amandine Bourgeois
2 Lithuania: Something by Andrius Pojavis
3 Moldova: O Mie by Aliona Moon
4 Finland: Marry Me by Krista Siegfrids
5 Spain: Contigo Hasta El Final (With You Until The End) by ESDM
6 Belgium: Love Kills by Roberto Bellarosa
7 Estonia: Et Uus Saaks Alguse by Birgit
8 Belarus: Solayoh by Alyona Lanskaya
9 Malta:Tomorrow by Gianluca
10 Russia: What If by Dina Garipova
11 Germany: Glorious by Cascada
12Armenia: Lonely Planet by Dorians
13 The Netherlands: Birds by Anouk
14 Romania: It's My Life by Cezar
15 United Kingdom: Believe In Me by Bonnie Tyler
16 Sweden: You by Robin Stjernberg
17 Hungary:: Kedvesem by ByeAlex
18 Denmark: Only Teardrops by Emmelie de Forest
19 Iceland: Ég Á Líf by Eyþór Ingi
20 Azerbaijan: Hold Me by Farid Mammadov
21 Greece: Alcohol Is Free by Koza Mostra featuring Agathon Iakovidis
22 Ukraine: Gravity by Zlata Ognevich
23 Italy: L'Essenziale by Marco Mengoni
24 Norway: I Feed Your Love by Margaret Berger
25 Georgia: Waterfall by Nodi Tatishvili and Sophie Gelovani
26 Ireland: Only Love Survives by Ryan Dolan
 
2013-05-18 11:21:34 AM  
Nothing will ever better the bugnuts magnificence of the 2006 winners, Lordi:

newsimg.bbc.co.uk
 
2013-05-18 12:09:14 PM  
Sir Terry Wogan would be a great Farker.
 
2013-05-18 01:04:22 PM  
For any Americans wondering just what the hell to make of Eurovision, just think of it as a slightly less camp version of the Hunger Games
 
2013-05-18 01:09:50 PM  
 
2013-05-18 01:12:29 PM  
My favourite Graham Norton quote from the first time he did Eurovision:  " with a combination of cheap vodka and a language barrier what could possibly go wrong? "

Remember Americans, this is the show that made Abba famous.  This is who to blame.
 
mjg
2013-05-18 01:12:54 PM  
Any of the female performers hot?

/too lazy to look into...
 
2013-05-18 01:14:35 PM  
My impressions from the semifinals.

Denmark is the rightful favorite.  The right combination to win, though I think the singer has room to improve.  The fan clubs also liked Norway, Germany, and Italy, though they also liked San Marino who didn't make the finals.

European voters get a major dumbass tag for leaving out Albania.  It's worth checking out.  Awesome shredding guitar solo with fireworks shooting out the guitar neck.  Switzerland also deserved to advance.

I suspect the farkers favorite will be Greece. Armenia should get some love given their music was written by Black Sabbath's Tony Iommi, though the audience booed a bit when they were announced for the final.  Might just be some really vociferous Azerbaijanis though.

A sleeper would be the Netherlands.  Very unique and original and emotional, and the fans in the arena were going mad for them to be the last semifinalist chosen.

Moldova has a good singer and great stage effects.  Part of me would like to see them win just to see if they could actually pull of hosting next year.

So much depends on the stage show, but what I've seen from the big 5 and Sweden, not seeing anything that stands out or is doomed for failure.

Farkers probably won't like Finland's song, but they'll certainly love the end.  Not the time for a bathroom break.  Maybe the mute button though.  But keep your eyes on the screen.  They also got some significant chanting during the break before the final 3 were announced.

The worst act of the semifinals that didn't make the finals to go find if want some LOLs were the rapping dubstep astronaut Montengrin guys with their Eastern European Fergie wannabe.  Also LOL worthy was the host telling the Israeli singer a Mel Gibson joke (well not much of a joke, just that he's the same age as Eurovision)
 
2013-05-18 01:17:54 PM  
I was terribly alarmed by the headline until I realized...

It does not say "Judenfrei."
 
mhd
2013-05-18 01:18:06 PM  
The first bronies.

Spiralmonkey: Remember Americans, this is the show that made Abba famous. This is who to blame.


I like Abba.

And compared to other contests, they were way more mainstream. Most of the ESC songs are music that have no similarity to what's generally hip in their respective countries.

Also: Huh! Hah!
 
mhd
2013-05-18 01:19:30 PM  

mhd: The first bronies.


Where did my "Lovely Horse" gif vanish?
 
2013-05-18 01:19:53 PM  
It's all been downhill since My Lovely Horse won

24.media.tumblr.com

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-18 01:20:26 PM  

Spiralmonkey: My favourite Graham Norton quote from the first time he did Eurovision:  " with a combination of cheap vodka and a language barrier what could possibly go wrong? "


Speaking of it: Drinking game rules anyone? These from 2011 look pretty good.
 
2013-05-18 01:26:06 PM  

stanhapsburg: Spiralmonkey: My favourite Graham Norton quote from the first time he did Eurovision:  " with a combination of cheap vodka and a language barrier what could possibly go wrong? "

Speaking of it: Drinking game rules anyone? These from 2011 look pretty good.


Outdated.  Bosnia and Israel and Cyprus aren't in the finals.   Turkey didn't even compete.  Only one host.
 
2013-05-18 01:28:15 PM  
Headlines should be in English.
 
2013-05-18 01:32:12 PM  

stanhapsburg: Spiralmonkey: My favourite Graham Norton quote from the first time he did Eurovision:  " with a combination of cheap vodka and a language barrier what could possibly go wrong? "

Speaking of it: Drinking game rules anyone? These from 2011 look pretty good.


Actually now that I think about it, looking at some of those rules, you should down all the alcohol in your house during Greece's performance.  Not the least because the title of their song is "Alcohol is Free"
 
2013-05-18 01:40:33 PM  

mhd: The first bronies.

Spiralmonkey: Remember Americans, this is the show that made Abba famous. This is who to blame.

I like Abba.

And compared to other contests, they were way more mainstream. Most of the ESC songs are music that have no similarity to what's generally hip in their respective countries.

Also: Huh! Hah!




I'll see your Huh! Hah! and raise you an Opera

As for drinking games, just take a shot anytime someone mentions 'peace' or 'sharing'. You'll be rat-arsed in no time.
 
2013-05-18 01:49:20 PM  

Spiralmonkey: My favourite Graham Norton quote from the first time he did Eurovision:  " with a combination of cheap vodka and a language barrier what could possibly go wrong? "

Remember Americans, this is the show that made Abba famous.  This is who to blame.


Not just that...it also brought a young  Celine Dion to stardom.
 
2013-05-18 01:50:46 PM  
We're actually contemplating watching the BBC feed instead of the Swedish TV one just for Graham Norton. The Swedish woman hosting isn't very good and isn't half as funny as she thinks she is.
 
2013-05-18 01:52:25 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: It's all been downhill since My Lovely Horse won


Take this lump of sugar, you know you want it, baby.
 
mhd
2013-05-18 01:53:33 PM  

Spiralmonkey: I'll see your Huh! Hah! and raise you an Opera


I'll go all in with whatever this is.
 
2013-05-18 01:54:39 PM  
The rest is in my RX-8
 
2013-05-18 01:56:58 PM  

mhd: Spiralmonkey: I'll see your Huh! Hah! and raise you an Opera

I'll go all in with whatever this is.




OK, you win. That was... shiny. I didn't realise Elton John was designing the new uniforms for the Hitler Youth.
 
2013-05-18 01:59:32 PM  

kevinatilusa: Spiralmonkey: My favourite Graham Norton quote from the first time he did Eurovision:  " with a combination of cheap vodka and a language barrier what could possibly go wrong? "

Remember Americans, this is the show that made Abba famous.  This is who to blame.

Not just that...it also brought a young  Celine Dion to stardom.


And for that they must be punished.

But not right now - I'm off to watch Doctor Who.
 
2013-05-18 02:01:16 PM  

Spiralmonkey: Nothing will ever better the bugnuts magnificence of the 2006 winners, Lordi:

[newsimg.bbc.co.uk image 416x300]


Hallelujah!
 
2013-05-18 02:06:10 PM  

Sir Cumference the Flatulent: 13 The Netherlands: Birds by Anouk


12349876: A sleeper would be the Netherlands. Very unique and original and emotional, and the fans in the arena were going mad for them to be the last semifinalist chosen.


Link
 
2013-05-18 02:08:46 PM  
I can't believe Sweden decided to have it in Malmö. Sweden has three major cities. Malmö is the absolute worst of them.

You know what the best part of Malmö is? That you can hop on a train and be in Copenhagen in 30 minutes.

Though I can't imagine if Denmark wins, moving the competition 30 miles. Scandinavia is a terrible place to host anything. Everything is too expensive for most people to come and really have a good time. A couple drinks with your meal will cost more than the food itself. The museums cost 15 dollars to get into for even the worst of them.
 
2013-05-18 02:09:48 PM  

12349876: European voters get a major dumbass tag for leaving out Albania


upload.wikimedia.org

Well, if they made up a little song about Albania, they wouldn't forget about it.

/it borders on the Adriatic, and its main export is chrome
 
2013-05-18 02:09:51 PM  

mhd: Spiralmonkey: I'll see your Huh! Hah! and raise you an Opera

I'll go all in with whatever this is.


I'm also fond of Ukraine's from two years later:   From the official lyrics:
"You are so sexy BOM. Gonna make me crazy BOM. We're gonna do the BOM BOM.Ain't that amazing BOM."
 
2013-05-18 02:10:06 PM  

mjg: Any of the female performers hot?

/too lazy to look into...


Not sure how much you'd trust a gay guy on this, but Norway's pretty good looking.
 
2013-05-18 02:14:32 PM  

12349876: Moldova has a good singer and great stage effects.  Part of me would like to see them win just to see if they could actually pull of hosting next year.


I can see them getting Top 5 easily, but supposedly her voice was a little off in the jury final.  Still, my favorite performance.

Well, second favorite:

logictherapy.files.wordpress.com

/camera should just stay on those two
//and the sound should be muted
///slashies come in threes
 
2013-05-18 02:15:54 PM  

mhd: Spiralmonkey: I'll see your Huh! Hah! and raise you an Opera

I'll go all in with whatever this is.


Geez, and I thought this was one of the corniest things I've seen come out of Eurovision.  It's obnoxiously catchy and campy as all hell, but that...I don't know what to even CALL that thing you linked...it takes it to a whole new level of WTF?   It's like "Elton John in Drag" meets Sprockets, with an extra helping of sequins thrown in for bonus retina-searing capability.  It was like a train wreck.  I just couldn't look away.
 
2013-05-18 02:16:38 PM  

ariseatex: mjg: Any of the female performers hot?

/too lazy to look into...

Not sure how much you'd trust a gay guy on this, but Norway's pretty good looking.


Ukraine is good.
 
2013-05-18 02:18:33 PM  

12349876: European voters get a major dumbass tag for leaving out Albania. It's worth checking out. Awesome shredding guitar solo with fireworks shooting out the guitar neck


Some things are too kitsch even for Eurovision
 
2013-05-18 02:19:59 PM  

EvilKatGurl: mhd: Spiralmonkey: I'll see your Huh! Hah! and raise you an Opera

I'll go all in with whatever this is.

Geez, and I thought this was one of the corniest things I've seen come out of Eurovision.  It's obnoxiously catchy and campy as all hell, but that...I don't know what to even CALL that thing you linked...it takes it to a whole new level of WTF?   It's like "Elton John in Drag" meets Sprockets, with an extra helping of sequins thrown in for bonus retina-searing capability.  It was like a train wreck.  I just couldn't look away.


LewDux: 12349876: European voters get a major dumbass tag for leaving out Albania. It's worth checking out. Awesome shredding guitar solo with fireworks shooting out the guitar neck

Some things are too kitsch even for Eurovision


I can tell two people who haven't seen this year's Romanian performance.
 
2013-05-18 02:19:59 PM  

EvilKatGurl: mhd: Spiralmonkey: I'll see your Huh! Hah! and raise you an Opera

I'll go all in with whatever this is.

Geez, and I thought this was one of the corniest things I've seen come out of Eurovision.


The Latvians probably thought: People like pirates, look at how much those pirate movies made.

Anyways, Latvian joke time:
What one potato say to other potato?
Premise absurd. Who have two potato?

Man car break down near house of farmer. Take shelter in barn. Find farmer daughter in barn. Oh! Hot stuff! But TOO LATE! Is already rape by soldier.
 
2013-05-18 02:22:55 PM  

LewDux: 12349876: European voters get a major dumbass tag for leaving out Albania. It's worth checking out. Awesome shredding guitar solo with fireworks shooting out the guitar neck

Some things are too kitsch even for Eurovision


Even beyond the gimmick, it was a good classic rock song.
 
2013-05-18 02:23:35 PM  

ariseatex: I can tell two people who haven't seen this year's Romanian performance.


Such a great singer, such a horrible song.  I feel bad for him.  He needs to be doing a ballad.
 
2013-05-18 02:27:32 PM  

12349876: ariseatex: I can tell two people who haven't seen this year's Romanian performance.

Such a great singer, such a horrible song.  I feel bad for him.  He needs to be doing a ballad.


I don't.  Sounds like a prick from what I've heard from the press conferences.
 
2013-05-18 02:29:50 PM  
Most confusing headline of the year candidate. Or is this some sort of hipster thing?
 
2013-05-18 02:34:28 PM  

ariseatex: I can tell two people who haven't seen this year's Romanian performance.


I have now, and my ears are still bleeding.  That voice and that song just do NOT belong together.  There were portions of it where I thought he was borrowing bits from Bon Jovi's song with the same title, but that may be due in part to the excess blood in my caffeine system at the moment.   This definitely ranks up there for the musical WTF, but that Ukrainian performance mhd posted definitely wins the visual WTF prize.

/Looking at some of the other Ukrainian videos makes me wonder if they deliberately hunt down the most bizarre acts they can find for Eurovision.
 
2013-05-18 02:37:08 PM  

Teknowaffle: ariseatex: mjg: Any of the female performers hot?

/too lazy to look into...

Not sure how much you'd trust a gay guy on this, but Norway's pretty good looking.

Ukraine is good.


Not as good as they were in 2007
 
2013-05-18 02:40:33 PM  
For a second I was confused by the headline, because I thought it was about glittery Ikea furniture.
 
2013-05-18 02:43:02 PM  
one of my favourite things about moving from California to the UK. but I watch for the horrible acts!   Waiting to see Romania after the semi finals the other night, pure laughs. got our chinese take away ready and loads of alcohol!!
 
2013-05-18 02:43:13 PM  
i41.tinypic.com
 
2013-05-18 02:51:30 PM  
A Eurovision thread without a mention of Epic Sax Guy?
 
2013-05-18 02:52:03 PM  
Graham Norton all the Eurovision! Jan Schmidt here in NL is good as well, mostly because he is so blunt (aka typical Dutch).
 
2013-05-18 02:55:23 PM  
A thousand years from now, when the apes try to find out what happened to the previous civilizations they will uncover evidence of shows like this, and all of their questions will suddenly be answered.
 
2013-05-18 02:58:54 PM  

EvilKatGurl: /Looking at some of the other Ukrainian videos makes me wonder if they deliberately hunt down the most bizarre acts they can find for Eurovision.


Eh, it works for them.  Though 2010 was relatively tame for them.
 
2013-05-18 03:02:43 PM  
 
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