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(Mirror.co.uk)   Today's Fark-ready headline: Woman stabbed boyfriend after he farted in her face during an argument   (mirror.co.uk) divider line 60
    More: Florida, boyfriends, Deborah Ann Burns  
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60 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2013-05-18 10:39:47 AM
Was it Terrence or Philip?
 
2013-05-18 12:45:45 PM
forums.familyfriendpoems.com
 
2013-05-18 12:56:36 PM
...stabbed her boyfriend because he farted in her face...
...Mr Butler became "agitated" and allegedly threw a kitchen knife at her...


But mostly it was the fart I guess.
 
2013-05-18 01:03:47 PM
"And the lady stabber is miiiiiiiiiiiine........."
 
2013-05-18 01:09:05 PM
Judging from the spatter marks, I'd say it was a wet fart, from about a meter away.
 
2013-05-18 01:12:56 PM
24.media.tumblr.com
Not guilty
 
2013-05-18 01:27:42 PM
Sounds like she was just returning the kitchen knife back to him?  His fault for not catching it.
 
2013-05-18 02:03:07 PM
Faces of methane.
 
2013-05-18 02:05:27 PM
re-pete
 
2013-05-18 02:05:52 PM
Remember, folks: domestic violence against men is funny.  Domestic violence against women is an unconscionable human tragedy.
 
2013-05-18 02:07:20 PM
storage.canoe.ca

/ amused
 
2013-05-18 02:09:27 PM
FTFA:

"She told police she confronted him but Mr Butler became "agitated" and allegedly threw a kitchen knife at her, which missed."

I am guessing that she stabbed him for trying to stab her first.
 
2013-05-18 02:09:48 PM
TFA "Burns reportedly picked up the blade and threw it back, hitting him in the stomach."

Would that still be an apt description of stabbing someone?

When I hear 'so and so got stabbed' I tend to think that the assailant was actually holding onto the knife when the said stabbing accured.

/It's all in the wrist
 
2013-05-18 02:10:20 PM
This story is the quintessence of the Florida tag.
 
2013-05-18 02:10:27 PM

gimmegimme: Remember, folks: domestic violence against men is funny.  Domestic violence against women is an unconscionable human tragedy.


Come on now. A perfectly good fart thread is not the place for this discussion
 
2013-05-18 02:11:59 PM

weapon13: TFA "Burns reportedly picked up the blade and threw it back, hitting him in the stomach."

Would that still be an apt description of stabbing someone?

When I hear 'so and so got stabbed' I tend to think that the assailant was actually holding onto the knife when the said stabbing accured.

/It's all in the wrist


as guy who has tried to pick up the throwing knife skill. It really is a pain in the ass. It was either beginners luck, or the dude had no idea his woman was also a ninja
 
2013-05-18 02:13:34 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-18 02:18:46 PM
If he said pull my finger first then she was out if line stabbing him, if not the he had it comming. Not guilty, he needed killing
 
2013-05-18 02:18:53 PM
The cutting edge of flatulence adventures until now.
 
2013-05-18 02:21:39 PM
I'm not saying she was right to do that, but I understand...
 
2013-05-18 02:21:51 PM

teenage mutant ninja rapist: weapon13: TFA "Burns reportedly picked up the blade and threw it back, hitting him in the stomach."

Would that still be an apt description of stabbing someone?

When I hear 'so and so got stabbed' I tend to think that the assailant was actually holding onto the knife when the said stabbing accured.

/It's all in the wrist

as guy who has tried to pick up the throwing knife skill. It really is a pain in the ass. It was either beginners luck, or the dude had no idea his woman was also a ninja


I'm thinking ninja as she is all black and had a black mask on... Oh wait, that's her face.

/That'sracist.jpeg
 
2013-05-18 02:25:49 PM
I would have preferred a stabbing to the fan-assisted crop-dusting attack my wife launched earlier this week.
 
2013-05-18 02:25:57 PM
i3.ytimg.com
 
2013-05-18 02:26:26 PM

gimmegimme: Remember, folks: domestic violence against men is funny.  Domestic violence against women is an unconscionable human tragedy.


You must be new to FARK: All women who get DV deserve it, and all people who get sexually assaulted are liars and should have dressed more modest.
 
2013-05-18 02:28:20 PM
Hrm.
 
2013-05-18 02:32:23 PM

gimmegimme: Remember, folks: domestic violence against men is funny.  Domestic violence against women is an unconscionable human tragedy.


My ex gave me fair warning any attempt at a dutch oven would result in me being maimed.
 
2013-05-18 02:35:33 PM

gimmegimme: Remember, folks: domestic violence against men is funny.  Domestic violence against women is an unconscionable human tragedy.


If the domestic violence involved farts, then it's funny no matter who the victim is.

/my wife always threatens to fart in my breathing machine
 
2013-05-18 02:35:54 PM
I guess the fart pierced the air like a deadly dart.
 
2013-05-18 02:39:02 PM

hardinparamedic: gimmegimme: Remember, folks: domestic violence against men is funny.  Domestic violence against women is an unconscionable human tragedy.

You must be new to FARK: All women who get DV deserve it, and all people who get sexually assaulted are liars and should have dressed more modest.


Damn guys. If your going to ruin the sanctity of the rare fark fart thread. Well Im gonna have to ask you guys to leave.

there are gender war threads every other day. Save it for one of them.

/fart
 
2013-05-18 02:40:06 PM

Zarquon's Flat Tire: gimmegimme: Remember, folks: domestic violence against men is funny.  Domestic violence against women is an unconscionable human tragedy.

My ex gave me fair warning any attempt at a dutch oven would result in me being maimed.


I just spend too much time with folks who have no sense of humor about anything and use these kinds of situations to justify a belief in patriarchy and rape culture and cite them as proof that men are evil monsters.
 
2013-05-18 02:41:57 PM

teenage mutant ninja rapist: hardinparamedic: gimmegimme: Remember, folks: domestic violence against men is funny.  Domestic violence against women is an unconscionable human tragedy.

You must be new to FARK: All women who get DV deserve it, and all people who get sexually assaulted are liars and should have dressed more modest.

Damn guys. If your going to ruin the sanctity of the rare fark fart thread. Well Im gonna have to ask you guys to leave.

there are gender war threads every other day. Save it for one of them.

/fart


www.wonderfulkarma.com

Sorry.  How's that?
 
2013-05-18 02:42:50 PM
They both need to be charged. The guy threw a knife at her first.
 
2013-05-18 02:43:08 PM
He's a mother-father gentleman

/Had an ex who could peel wallpaper
//Damn silent ones too
 
2013-05-18 02:43:50 PM
8th grade.  Some peeps never leave.
 
2013-05-18 02:45:21 PM

gimmegimme: Zarquon's Flat Tire: gimmegimme: Remember, folks: domestic violence against men is funny.  Domestic violence against women is an unconscionable human tragedy.

My ex gave me fair warning any attempt at a dutch oven would result in me being maimed.

I just spend too much time with folks who have no sense of humor about anything and use these kinds of situations to justify a belief in patriarchy and rape culture and cite them as proof that men are evil monsters.


Ouch, I only see those folks on the internet.  It's pretty easy to just let them rant their way into carpal tunnel while I scroll on by.
 
2013-05-18 02:48:44 PM

Oblig for any fart thread.



/he he...fart thread.
 
2013-05-18 02:48:51 PM

gimmegimme: teenage mutant ninja rapist: hardinparamedic: gimmegimme: Remember, folks: domestic violence against men is funny.  Domestic violence against women is an unconscionable human tragedy.

You must be new to FARK: All women who get DV deserve it, and all people who get sexually assaulted are liars and should have dressed more modest.

Damn guys. If your going to ruin the sanctity of the rare fark fart thread. Well Im gonna have to ask you guys to leave.

there are gender war threads every other day. Save it for one of them.

/fart



Sorry.  How's that?


hey hey now were getting somewhere
 
2013-05-18 02:49:28 PM
cdn.salacioussound.com

It's all in the reflexes.
 
2013-05-18 02:57:37 PM
Gosh.  If I had a dime for every time that happened to me....
 
2013-05-18 03:03:54 PM

llevrok: Gosh.  If I had a dime for every time that happened to me....


www.showmefunny.co.uk


".....you'd have a shiat load of dimes?"
 
2013-05-18 03:04:26 PM
Why was he not arrested??

In other news, I only had to type "arrested fo" into google for it to kick out "arrested for farting." So it must be a thing.
 
2013-05-18 03:04:31 PM
byejustin.files.wordpress.com

It just slipped out!
 
2013-05-18 03:08:03 PM
i43.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-18 03:10:17 PM
But  what type of fart was it? A Cheek-Squeaker? A Chinese Firecracker? A Bitburr? A Burning Brakes? A Rambling Faduka? A Snart? A Shart? A Stutter? A Splatter?

Modern journalism is in the Dark Ages.
 
2013-05-18 03:13:22 PM
 
2013-05-18 03:16:49 PM

Zarquon's Flat Tire: gimmegimme: Remember, folks: domestic violence against men is funny.  Domestic violence against women is an unconscionable human tragedy.

My ex gave me fair warning any attempt at a dutch oven would result in me being maimed.


Since she's an ex, is it fair to assume that's what occurred?
 
2013-05-18 03:20:40 PM
 
2013-05-18 03:29:18 PM

fanbladesaresharp: Zarquon's Flat Tire: gimmegimme: Remember, folks: domestic violence against men is funny.  Domestic violence against women is an unconscionable human tragedy.

My ex gave me fair warning any attempt at a dutch oven would result in me being maimed.

Since she's an ex, is it fair to assume that's what occurred?


As I still have the ability to type, it would be fair to assume the relationship ended for other reasons.
 
2013-05-18 03:34:03 PM
It cuts both ways I guess...
 
2013-05-18 03:37:42 PM
Most likely it was when she was tossing his salad. Broads hate that.
 
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