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(Huffington Post)   College student fakes his own kidnapping in order to avoid telling his parents that he's failing a class, fails to think his cunning plan all the way through   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 41
    More: Fail, Aftab Aslam, Aslam, Forsyth County, kidnappings  
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7192 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 May 2013 at 12:57 PM (47 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-18 01:08:27 PM
Does this mean he will not get his own convenience store?
 
2013-05-18 01:08:46 PM
Charged with making terroristic threats?
WTF?

TFA: Aftab Aslam

...oh.
 
2013-05-18 01:09:09 PM
The 'I need bail call' is worse than the 'I'm failing a class' call.
 
2013-05-18 01:13:39 PM
Jeebus, they piled on the charges:  "a misdemeanor count of false report of a crime, three felony counts of false statements, three felony counts of tampering with evidence and three felony counts of terroristic threats."

http://www.ajc.com/news/news/crime-law/johns-creek-man-charged-with- fa king-his-kidnapping/nXtf7/
 
2013-05-18 01:16:49 PM

BarkingUnicorn: Jeebus, they piled on the charges:  "a misdemeanor count of false report of a crime, three felony counts of false statements, three felony counts of tampering with evidence and three felony counts of terroristic threats."

http://www.ajc.com/news/news/crime-law/johns-creek-man-charged-with- fa king-his-kidnapping/nXtf7/


$20 says a relative or parent requested the book be thrown at him.
 
2013-05-18 01:23:16 PM

mooseyfate: $20 says a relative or parent requested the book be thrown at him.


Nah.  $100 says the FBI, GBI, and local cops are pissed as hell because they wasted eight days.
 
2013-05-18 01:28:06 PM

BarkingUnicorn: mooseyfate: $20 says a relative or parent requested the book be thrown at him.

Nah.  $100 says the FBI, GBI, and local cops are pissed as hell because they wasted eight days.


Yeah, nothing pisses off LEO like 8 days of justified overtime.

/I keed
 
2013-05-18 01:29:20 PM
Pffft.

I faked my own death to get out of a library fine.
 
2013-05-18 01:32:16 PM
What is the customary ransom when you kidnap yourself?
 
2013-05-18 01:36:55 PM

BitwiseShift: What is the customary ransom when you kidnap yourself?


In rupees or dollars?
 
2013-05-18 01:37:59 PM
terroristic threats terroristic threats terroristic threats
 
2013-05-18 01:38:45 PM

vudukungfu: terroristic threats terroristic threats terroristic threats


Vahn.  Twooo!.  Threeee!!! Ah-ah-ah!!!
 
2013-05-18 01:41:58 PM

sporkme: Charged with making terroristic threats?
WTF?

TFA: Aftab Aslam

...oh.


We never said he was a TAME liar!

/Further up, further in!
 
2013-05-18 01:43:58 PM
This guy is going to be nothing but trouble his whole life. It's the fake kidnapping now, and in 2 years, it will be the I have a charity to fund my upcoming pancreatic cancer surgery.

They should stick him in a hole now, and save everyone the trouble.
 
2013-05-18 01:52:50 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-18 02:05:35 PM

BitwiseShift: What is the customary ransom when you kidnap yourself?


An extended stay in a mental health facility?
 
2013-05-18 02:17:22 PM
TFA "Nurse says Aslam camped for about a week in an undeveloped area in Forsyth County, but the weather turned cold and rainy and he went home."

Pussy.

sporkme: Charged with making terroristic threats?
WTF?

TFA: Aftab Aslam

...oh.


Hang on, let me get this straight... So, if you're brown, don't call the cops for anything as you will be charged with making terroristic threats?!

WTF indeed.
 
2013-05-18 02:53:13 PM
Well, I wouldn't want to explain to the people funding my party lifestyle by slaving away at some hellhole of a job that I couldn't hold up my end of the deal either.
 
2013-05-18 02:58:28 PM

99.998er: BitwiseShift: What is the customary ransom when you kidnap yourself?

In rupees or dollars?


In yen in you dont mind
 
2013-05-18 03:39:52 PM
There's no cure for stupid.
Some would say stupidity is hereditary;
There's no cure for them, either.
 
2013-05-18 04:05:31 PM
James Dallas Egbert III. Study it out, internets.
 
2013-05-18 04:50:11 PM

sporkme: Charged with making terroristic threats?
WTF?

TFA: Aftab Aslam

...oh.



This ^^^^^^^^^^^
 
2013-05-18 04:54:20 PM

SpdrJay: Pffft.

I faked my own death to get out of a library fine.


Amateur...I engineered the Cambodian Killing Fields to deflect blame for leaving the toilet seat up.
 
2013-05-18 05:19:00 PM

BitwiseShift: What is the customary ransom when you kidnap yourself?


IDK the amount, but it's delivered in a Klein bottle.
 
2013-05-18 05:45:12 PM
Just think how much lower the demand for college, and hence the cost of college, would be if people at this level of competence realized that they shouldn't go.
 
2013-05-18 06:00:48 PM
"Aslam is charged with making a false report, false statements, tampering with evidence and terroristic threats. "

The eyes man, it's the eyes.
 
2013-05-18 06:36:33 PM
Even if I had straight A's, I would fake my kidnapping so no one knew I went to Georgia Gwinnett College.
 
2013-05-18 06:44:20 PM

SpdrJay: Pffft.

I faked my own death to get out of a library fine.


images.tvrage.com

-OR-

i4.ytimg.com

Take your pick.
 
2013-05-18 07:12:16 PM
Meanwhile, every other college graduate is being held hostage by their student loans.
 
2013-05-18 07:20:58 PM

PunGent: SpdrJay: Pffft.

I faked my own death to get out of a library fine.

Amateur...I engineered the Cambodian Killing Fields to deflect blame for leaving the toilet seat up.


So I guess the Hrisohima and Nagasaki atomic blasts was used to cover up leaving the milk on the counter?
 
2013-05-18 08:09:25 PM
Just another cunning stunt.
 
2013-05-18 08:18:02 PM

BitwiseShift: What is the customary ransom when you kidnap yourself?


A toe, dude.

/Farkin' amateurs...
 
2013-05-18 08:46:21 PM
There are two things parents could do that I believe have a high chance of making their kids take college seriously. The first is make them work at a gas station or something similar for at least six months, if they last that long. Impress upon them that that is their most likely future if they don't take school seriously. The other is don't pay for their schooling, at least at first. Student loans are a humbling experience (and mine are tiny compared to many many people). When I graduated high school I wasn't ready to go to college, and dropped out after one semester. However, I made sure I didn't get seduced by a big expensive school, so one semester at the CC didn't hurt me too much. I just wish I'd gone back a lot sooner than I finally did, but c'est la vie.
 
2013-05-18 09:38:42 PM
It's going to suck when he really does get kidnapped and no one believes him.
 
2013-05-18 10:07:30 PM
my csb:

i used to go to that school. it was not georgia gwinnett college at the time, but the building was there and was owned in part by UGA and GPC. there was this strange guy in my class, usually clad in a dirty t-shirt and sat in the back of the room in the two classes we shared. he would often challenge the professors, trying to be argumentative, and often seemed proud of himself if he could get any traction on an argument- most of which disrupted the flow of the class. to sum it up, the dude was an ass. but he was a little off to the point where people kept their distance. late in the semester, he just stopped showing up. it was after the withdrawal date, so some of us figured that wasn't the case. but then one day a prof told us, with what also seemed to be a little satisfaction in her voice, that this student had killed his own brother; shot him in the head from over 30 feet away, claiming he thought it was a wildcat. he was convicted of murder. some years later, it was overturned.
 
2013-05-18 10:39:51 PM

SN1987a goes boom: Meanwhile, every other college graduate is being held hostage by their student loans

 flunked the core competency math requirement.
 
2013-05-18 10:59:48 PM

Astorix: PunGent: SpdrJay: Pffft.

I faked my own death to get out of a library fine.

Amateur...I engineered the Cambodian Killing Fields to deflect blame for leaving the toilet seat up.

So I guess the Hrisohima and Nagasaki atomic blasts was used to cover up leaving the milk on the counter?


Exactly.  And the Holocaust?  toilet paper roll goes OVER, not UNDER, and don't forget it.

The French Revolution, ironically, was started by a guy who needed an excuse not to go into work that day...
 
2013-05-19 04:30:02 AM
He was flunking an English class.

WTF, how do you flunk English anyway? Writing really crappy essays?

I was a science student and didn't take many English classes. I wrote horrible essays, one especially terrible one about mating habits of tapeworms and still passed.
 
2013-05-19 08:56:42 AM
 
2013-05-19 12:28:07 PM

cherryl taggart: Well, I wouldn't want to explain to the people funding my party lifestyle by slaving away at some hellhole of a job that I couldn't hold up my end of the deal either.


TFA said he was failing "a class". One class.  Maybe the problem was more he couldn't keep up with the work for stress-related reasons, not that he was partying too much.

Failing doesn't always mean "not trying."

Whether he is right for college is another issue.  He likely did it because his parents expected it of him, not because he wanted to delay adulthood for four years.

I'm not condoning what he did, but it's telling that his kidnapping, as well as the others that make the news, seem to be more caused by mental illness.  It's a  good thing that there don't seem to be any people doing it merely for larfs.
 
2013-05-19 01:25:06 PM

wherritt: When a white girl does it she only gets 3 years probation.

http://articles.chicagotribune.com/2004-07-02/news/0407030031_1_audr ey -seiler-abduction-faked


I'm sensing there may be some differences between these two cases, the accused's genitalia not-withstanding.

/there's really not enough details in this story to make a determination like that
//but hey, at least you get to point at another story and whine "If he had a vagiiiiina it wouldn't be a problem!"
 
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