If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(io9)   Star Trek: Into Dumbness (Some spoilers in the comments)   (io9.com) divider line 368
    More: Amusing, Star Trek, Abrams Trek, Kirk/Spock, plot holes, Uhura, Benedict Cumberbatch, Starfleet Academy, J.J. Abrams  
•       •       •

7368 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 18 May 2013 at 10:09 AM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



368 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-05-18 03:54:09 AM
i liked it.

/khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan
 
2013-05-18 04:09:08 AM

some_beer_drinker: i liked it.


As did I.
 
2013-05-18 05:10:00 AM
Mods, please put a spoiler alert on this one if you post it to main or entertainment.

/waiting on babysitter availablity to take the wife to see this one.
 
2013-05-18 06:56:57 AM
I'm going to deliver a spoiler here, so gouge your eyes out or something:
1) Did I miss something with those torpedoes?  They had room for a cryopod AND an explosive payload?  Because launching 72 Khansicles at Quo'nos probably is going to ignore the Klingons, but will probably baffle them more than provoke a war.
2) "omg, you have to take Khan alive because his magic genetically engineered blood is the only thing that can save Kirk!  Quick, take one of the other genetically engineered superhumans out of his cryopod and put Kirk in it."  um guys, those other genetically engineered superhumans have blood too.  Not to mention that you can still collect a dude's blood after he's dead...
 
2013-05-18 06:57:46 AM

serial_crusher: probably is going to ignore annoy the Klingons


crap.  Don't know why I always do that.
 
2013-05-18 07:18:07 AM
FTFA: The new Star Trek movie isn't a terrible film. Star Trek Into Darkness has some bravura action scenes, and some brilliant comic bits. But it's also aggressively, tragically stupid. It's not even a great popcorn film, because it fails to deliver on its own promises. And it's not half as good as J.J. Abrams' first Star Trek.

I thought Abram's first Star Trek film had to be the dumbest thing Trek related since Spock's Brain but if this one is even stupider than the first then I'm glad I've decided not to waste money seeing it in the theatre.
 
2013-05-18 08:05:35 AM

serial_crusher: 1) Did I miss something with those torpedoes?  They had room for a cryopod AND an explosive payload?  Because launching 72 Khansicles at Quo'nos probably is going to ignore the Klingons, but will probably baffle them more than provoke a war.


Kind of a pretty simple ruse for a genetically engineered super genius to fall for, right? "These torpedoes totally just contain your people and not the usual thing that are in torpedoes". Ricardo Montalban Khan would never fall for that.

serial_crusher: 2) "omg, you have to take Khan alive because his magic genetically engineered blood is the only thing that can save Kirk!  Quick, take one of the other genetically engineered superhumans out of his cryopod and put Kirk in it."  um guys, those other genetically engineered superhumans have blood too.  Not to mention that you can still collect a dude's blood after he's dead...


They didn't even check to see if they had the same blood type.

I liked the film overall. It had some great action scenes and the FX were top notch. There was just too much  "Hey, remember this scene from that better movie?". I was literally cringing at Kirk's "death" scene. just hoping, "no, don't do that line...oh shiat, well don't do that line....fark...well for the love of Christ don't say...oh they said it. Goddammit".

But it was entertaining and people who never saw Wrath of Khan will probably think it's awesome and that's really the audience they're going for. But just please, JJ, don't let your Orci writing crew near Star Wars. I beg you.

Oh, spoilers above.
 
2013-05-18 08:06:38 AM
It seems that everyone whose paycheck derives from page views didn't like the movie, but most other people did.

Funny, that.
 
2013-05-18 08:17:12 AM
I liked it, the girl liked it, but I really can't believe they went there.
 
2013-05-18 08:17:41 AM

ThatGuyGreg: It seems that everyone whose paycheck derives from page views didn't like the movie, but most other people did.

Funny, that.


Yah, how pathetic one has to be to go in thinking, "now how am I going to generate hits off this thing?"
 
2013-05-18 08:55:09 AM
I enjoyed it a lot, but I don't think that emotional high point was supposed to be funny. And it really was.
 
2013-05-18 09:16:49 AM

Dave and the Mission: Mods, please put a spoiler alert on this one if you post it to main or entertainment.

/waiting on babysitter availablity to take the wife to see this one.


Chekov discovers too late Ceti Alpha VI is really Ceti Alpha V, Khan captures him, steals their ship and the Genesis Device, attacks the Enterprise, kills Kirk's son, almost destroys the Enterprise, but Kirk drops Khan's shields with Command Codes and wins the fight, Spock dies.

/spoiler alert
 
2013-05-18 09:33:00 AM
I'm just about to see it, so I'm not reading this until later.

But something tells me the article is Trekkie Into Conniptions.  Though I could be wrong.
 
2013-05-18 09:41:47 AM
I will wait until it comes out on BitTorrent and I will steal it and watch it for free.

That's how much respect I have for these movies.
 
2013-05-18 09:56:01 AM
Overall, really really really liked it. I think its better than the first one, but I probably enjoyed the first one more just out of freshness. Let's break it down.

***SPOILERS***SPOILERS ***SPOILERS ***SPOILERS ***SPOILERS***

The Good

The references: This movie really nailed using references, not just as throwaways but as plot points. There were the great nods to Section 31 and Mudd, but those were really just fud and didn't impact the plot in any way. The whole Khan thing was actually really well done, making it fit into the new storyline (he was awoken due to their fear of Nero), and the use of old Spock. Then there's the ending with the glass and the KHAAAAAANNN!!! which I thought very nicely toed the line between no copying the old movie, but echoing it in a way which made sense and showed that history does sort of repeat itself.

More moral depth: I thought this was a big improvement over the first movie. While it's not the highlight of the film, I enjoyed the discussion of the prime directive, and the conflict that they should arrest Khan rather than just kill him. There was basically none of this in the first movie.

Very funny: Not sure what to say here, other than I laughed a lot. The conversations between Kirk and Pike, and Kirk and Spock, are really funny.

Pike is awesome: Just wanted to repeat this. That was brilliant casting.

Cumberbatch: I don't know what there is to say. He's awesome and nailed the role.

Ending with music: Big fan of how they left this - they are beginning the 5 year mission, and while only hard core fans probably noticed, the beginning of this mission is the first time they use the main TNG (ok, I know, ST:TMP) music. Perfect. Also liked the parallels with the movies ending basically with the same line - Old Spock saying it last time, new Kirk this time.

Bad

Bones: It really seems like they are overdoing the "Bones is crotchety" thing. All he did in this whole movie, like 8 times, was tell Kirk not to do something, or express shock that Kirk was doing something while telling him it was nuts.

Klingons: Not feeling it. I liked the conversation between Uhura and the Klingon guy, but I'm not a fan of their design, and they really didn't seem all that menacing.

Spock crying. No. Is he suffering from Batai Syndrome? I understand the desire to show how Spock is different by showing him with outbursts of emotions, but he's done that in both movies now. That sort of undermines the basic idea that it's a break from his normal calm. This is one of those things that works a lot better in a TV show where you see dozens and dozens of hours of stoicism, so the emotion is a bigger shock.
 
2013-05-18 10:00:05 AM

Dave and the Mission: Mods, please put a spoiler alert on this one if you post it to main or entertainment.

/waiting on babysitter availablity to take the wife to see this one.


That's the least spoilery article about a movie that is 1000 words or more ever.
 
2013-05-18 10:15:14 AM
Oh good.  Another article that tells us why we're not supposed to enjoy the movie that the majority of us seem to have liked. I guess the "you people must LOVE Transformers!" crowd needs something to do on their lonely Saturdays.
 
2013-05-18 10:23:57 AM
I know there's the usual criticisms of Abrams Star Trek, but for some reason, the thing that bugged me most about the last movie, was his constant need of hand-held cameras. You build all of these gorgeous sets, set up these beautiful action pieces, and then shake/jerk/sweep the camera around so much your eyes can't actually soak in any of the details. For farks sake, hold still! Calm down, and let a steady cam linger for a few seconds. Yes, shaky handheld cameras have their uses (Ripley running for the shuttle during the self-destruct sequence). But not 24/7. One of the things about Star Trek is that these are highly trained, careful and professional star crews (no Voyager jokes, please), they don't run around like ADHD flakes who might freak out and start yelling and gesticulating at the first sign of trouble. Yeah, they'll save the day, but they'll look like spazs, b/c nobody, even the director, can keep it cool.
 
2013-05-18 10:24:52 AM
It was a fun movie, but SO farking stupid.

Spoilers, explaining the second half of the movie so you can appreciate how stupid it is. Bad fanfic level stupid.

-

-

-

An evil admiral built the USS Vengeance, a warship totally bigger than the Enterprise, and Kirk and Khan have to work together to stop it. Then Khan takes the ship and totally messes up the Enterprise, but then Spock does something smart with photon torpedoes and blows up the Vengeance. The Enterprise is so damaged that someone has to go into the warp core to fix it, but this time it's KIRK, and Spock cries and yells KHAAAAAN! Khan survived and the ship crashed into Earth, where Spock chases him and they have a badass fight on top of an airspeeder. But McCoy was testing a tribble with Khan's blood, which is really Wolverine's blood, so they use it to bring Kirk back to life and have a happy ending. It was totally awesome.
 
2013-05-18 10:25:46 AM
Already been there for a long time
 
2013-05-18 10:26:39 AM
I don't even own a movie theatre.
 
2013-05-18 10:27:59 AM
I liked it other than they now have the fountain of youth pretty much.
 
2013-05-18 10:28:32 AM

DamnYankees: Klingons: Not feeling it. I liked the conversation between Uhura and the Klingon guy, but I'm not a fan of their design, and they really didn't seem all that menacing.


I'll let you in on a secret. The Klingons aren't menacing. Period. They're just retarded space bullies. They're angry aliens with bigger guns and shiatty organization, ambition, or ability. Outside of firefights and a few menacing captains, the Klingons are space jobbers.
 
2013-05-18 10:30:22 AM

serial_crusher: I'm going to deliver a spoiler here, so gouge your eyes out or something:
1) Did I miss something with those torpedoes?  They had room for a cryopod AND an explosive payload?  Because launching 72 Khansicles at Quo'nos probably is going to ignore the Klingons, but will probably baffle them more than provoke a war.
2) "omg, you have to take Khan alive because his magic genetically engineered blood is the only thing that can save Kirk!  Quick, take one of the other genetically engineered superhumans out of his cryopod and put Kirk in it."  um guys, those other genetically engineered superhumans have blood too.  Not to mention that you can still collect a dude's blood after he's dead...


Also, why is Praxis blown up? The shot of Quo'nos shows the moon in pieces. That didn't happen until 40 years later.
 
ecl
2013-05-18 10:32:32 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-18 10:34:20 AM
Fark spoiler warnings. If you haven't seen it and you care about such things, why are you reading this thread?
 
2013-05-18 10:35:20 AM

Ennuipoet: Dave and the Mission: Mods, please put a spoiler alert on this one if you post it to main or entertainment.

/waiting on babysitter availablity to take the wife to see this one.

Chekov discovers too late Ceti Alpha VI is really Ceti Alpha V, Khan captures him, steals their ship and the Genesis Device, attacks the Enterprise, kills Kirk's son, almost destroys the Enterprise, but Kirk drops Khan's shields with Command Codes and wins the fight, Spock dies.

/spoiler alert


the Kilingons killed Kirk's son in an entirely different movie.

KAHNNNN!!!
KLINGON BASTARDS KILLED MY SON!!!

//spoiler alert
 
2013-05-18 10:36:04 AM

Mulchpuppy: Oh good.  Another article that tells us why we're not supposed to enjoy the movie that the majority of us seem to have liked. I guess the "you people must LOVE Transformers!" crowd needs something to do on their lonely Saturdays.


Naw, I needed this.

I was on the fence about STID, read the review, decided to look up the spoilers, and I'm glad I'm saving $20 by letting this one slide by. I just can't believe they went the ONE place they really shouldn't have gine and just ruined it.

You go to hell, Damon Lindeloff. You go to hell and you die.
 
2013-05-18 10:37:52 AM

Lernaeus: I was on the fence about STID, read the review, decided to look up the spoilers, and I'm glad I'm saving $20 by letting this one slide by. I just can't believe they went the ONE place they really shouldn't have gine and just ruined it.


Great job reading one review and deciding against it when the movie has an 87% on RT. You're very discerning and clearly making smart choices, and not at all looking for a justification of your irrational loathing.
 
2013-05-18 10:38:19 AM

unlikely: I enjoyed it a lot, but I don't think that emotional high point was supposed to be funny. And it really was.


At first I was like oh crap he's saying it, then a semifacepalm, then YES go kick his ass you're dead meat motherfarker!!!!
 
2013-05-18 10:39:42 AM
It was a good movie.  Not the best movie I've seen this year, but still very good and I plan on getting it when it hits DVD.

Note, I'm not a hardcore Trekker.  My favorite series is DS9 because they made a point of dancing on the line between what is 'moral' and what is 'necessary' in that series.

Did the movie have a few blind spots in the plot?  Oh sure. Why send Spock into a volcano when they could have used a robot or something?  Because sending in a robot or something wouldn't have had led to the plot advancing.

People need to stop going into movies expecting every detail to make sense.  Never let reality or common sense get in the way of a good story and despite all the whinings to the contrary, it 'did' have a good story.

This was a movie about connections.  Pike and Kirk, Kirk and Spock, Spock and Uhura, Khan and his crew, Kirk and 'his' crew,  The connections we make between people, the family we make and the 'things we'll do to protect those people'.

That's ALL this movie was about.

Until they meet Khan on Kronos, Khan's entire motivation was revenge.  Once he realizes his crew is alive, it becomes a rescue mission for him.  Rescue and escape with his men.

Now, mirror that with Kirk.  Until he meets Khan on Kronos, his entire mission is vengeance(first missiles, then returning him to face trial), but once he meets Khan and he realizes his ship and crew are in danger, he abandons his revenge and focuses on his people.

The only thing I wish was that they could have thawed out a couple of Khan's men along with him to have some interaction on a personal level between Khan and his own people.  A bit more fleshing out, if you would.

But, all and all, it was a good movie, with a solid plot and a solid message throughout.

Ships are meaningless, it's the crews that matter.  The people.

After all, isn't it sort of spelled out when they mention that the Vengeance ship is designed to be run by minimal crew and by ONE MAN if need be?  Vengeance must be a lonely ship.
 
ecl
2013-05-18 10:41:13 AM
api.ning.com
 
2013-05-18 10:41:31 AM

Infernalist: Until they meet Khan on Kronos, Khan's entire motivation was revenge.


Is this true? I don't think this is true. I never got the impression he thought his crew was dead, but rather he realized at that point where they were. Maybe I missed something.
 
ecl
2013-05-18 10:42:31 AM
i568.photobucket.com
UUUUNNNNNNNHHHHHHH*
 
2013-05-18 10:44:12 AM

DamnYankees: Infernalist: Until they meet Khan on Kronos, Khan's entire motivation was revenge.

Is this true? I don't think this is true. I never got the impression he thought his crew was dead, but rather he realized at that point where they were. Maybe I missed something.


He said as much in the movie.  Once he escaped, he 'had every reason to believe' that Marcus had killed everyone that he cared about, the only people he cared about.
 
2013-05-18 10:44:43 AM

Bloody William: serial_crusher: I'm going to deliver a spoiler here, so gouge your eyes out or something:
1) Did I miss something with those torpedoes?  They had room for a cryopod AND an explosive payload?  Because launching 72 Khansicles at Quo'nos probably is going to ignore the Klingons, but will probably baffle them more than provoke a war.
2) "omg, you have to take Khan alive because his magic genetically engineered blood is the only thing that can save Kirk!  Quick, take one of the other genetically engineered superhumans out of his cryopod and put Kirk in it."  um guys, those other genetically engineered superhumans have blood too.  Not to mention that you can still collect a dude's blood after he's dead...

Also, why is Praxis blown up? The shot of Quo'nos shows the moon in pieces. That didn't happen until 40 years later.


Possibly getting their ass whomped by Nero caused them to ramp up military production, and sped up the depletion of the moon's resources.
 
ecl
2013-05-18 10:45:01 AM
One more.

media.veryfunnypics.eu
 
2013-05-18 10:45:58 AM

Infernalist: People need to stop going into movies expecting every detail to make sense.


LOL what? Do you have any idea how much these people get paid to write these movies?
 
2013-05-18 10:46:01 AM

Infernalist: He said as much in the movie.  Once he escaped, he 'had every reason to believe' that Marcus had killed everyone that he cared about, the only people he cared about.


Hm, I'll look for this when I watch again. You're saying that once he realized there were 72 torpedoes, that meant the crew was alive? Made more sense to me that he always thought his crew was alive and realized that they were in the torpedoes, which was why he surrendered, so they wouldn't die.
 
2013-05-18 10:46:42 AM

Mugato: Infernalist: People need to stop going into movies expecting every detail to make sense.

LOL what? Do you have any idea how much these people get paid to write these movies?


A ton of money. And that payment is in exchange for movies which make money. Logical consistency and a tight plot structure has nothing to do with why they are paid what they are paid.
 
2013-05-18 10:49:29 AM

adammpower: Ennuipoet: Dave and the Mission: Mods, please put a spoiler alert on this one if you post it to main or entertainment.

/waiting on babysitter availablity to take the wife to see this one.

Chekov discovers too late Ceti Alpha VI is really Ceti Alpha V, Khan captures him, steals their ship and the Genesis Device, attacks the Enterprise, kills Kirk's son, almost destroys the Enterprise, but Kirk drops Khan's shields with Command Codes and wins the fight, Spock dies.

/spoiler alert

the Kilingons killed Kirk's son in an entirely different movie.

KAHNNNN!!!
KLINGON BASTARDS KILLED MY SON!!!

//spoiler alert


Not in my rebooted universe the only difference between the two is Frog Star fighters are green and I mix up the movies in my memory
 
2013-05-18 10:49:34 AM

DamnYankees: A ton of money. And that payment is in exchange for movies which make money. Logical consistency and a tight plot structure has nothing to do with why they are paid what they are paid.


Coming next year: "Ow, My Balls! The Movie"
 
2013-05-18 10:50:19 AM

Jim_Tressel's_O-Face: DamnYankees: A ton of money. And that payment is in exchange for movies which make money. Logical consistency and a tight plot structure has nothing to do with why they are paid what they are paid.

Coming next year: "Ow, My Balls! The Movie"


If it was good, I'd watch it. It's amazing to me how many people judge movies based on their premises.
 
2013-05-18 10:50:23 AM

DamnYankees: Infernalist: He said as much in the movie.  Once he escaped, he 'had every reason to believe' that Marcus had killed everyone that he cared about, the only people he cared about.

Hm, I'll look for this when I watch again. You're saying that once he realized there were 72 torpedoes, that meant the crew was alive? Made more sense to me that he always thought his crew was alive and realized that they were in the torpedoes, which was why he surrendered, so they wouldn't die.


It's a combination of the two.  He 'assumed' that Marcus would kill all his people, because that's how HE thinks and is probably along the lines of what he himself would do with an enemy's captive crew.  So, he simply jumps past 'rescue' upon his escape to straight up revenge upon Marcus and Star Fleet.

Once he realizes from Sulu's message that HIS torpedoes are on the Enterprise and most likely STILL with his people inside, he's almost convinced.  But he needs to know how many torpedoes so that he knows for certain that his whole crew is there.

Other than that, you're right.  He surrendered to keep those torpedoes from being fired.
 
2013-05-18 10:51:12 AM

DamnYankees: A ton of money. And that payment is in exchange for movies which make money. Logical consistency and a tight plot structure has nothing to do with why they are paid what they are paid.


Yeah well there are a ton of out of work writers in this town who are actually talented and it's always the same 3 or 4 hacks that get all the cool gigs. I'm not a writer, I work on the technical end and I know people aren't nearly as forgiving of bad visual effects as they are shiatty writing.
 
2013-05-18 10:51:22 AM
I liked it. The move was paced well, had some surprises and it even had a DS9 reference in there. Definitely worth the admission price.  As usual, The Onion gets it right.

/Section 31 FTW
 
2013-05-18 10:52:33 AM

Bloody William: Spoilers, explaining the second half of the movie so you can appreciate how stupid it is. Bad fanfic level stupid.


Yeah, it's a real shame; there was good stuff in the movie and it was better acted and directed than the first film, but the last half of the script needed to be thrown out the airlock

I did like that they were careful to address a lot of the problems people had with the first film, particularly with Kirk's characterization (he actually manages to act like a captain once or twice). It's just a shame they added in new problems. Neither of the villains have motivations that explain their actions (there's no reason for Khan to travel to the klingon homeworld then just sit around for several days, doing nothing but waiting for the admiral to come kill him, there's no reason for the admiral to NOT just go kill him with his super-ship, there's no reason for the admiral to send Kirk after him at all), the whole "war with the Klingon empire is about to break out, all it needs is an inciting incident!" plot just gets abandoned after they kill a Klingon patrol while not bothering to disguise the fact that they're human, Spock is more upset about Kirk dying than he was when his mother and home planet got blown up, Khan's blood is apparently a magical cure for death, Khan's apparently capable of building starships in one year that are far better than anything that exists despite being from 200 years in the past, etc)
 
2013-05-18 10:53:03 AM

Mugato: I'm not a writer, I work on the technical end and I know people aren't nearly as forgiving of bad visual effects as they are shiatty writing.


That's because these are movies, where a huge proportion of the enjoyment comes from the visuals. I'd venture to say that when it comes to books, writing is vastly more important than visual presentation. But this isn't a book, it's a movie, and the visual and audio experience is immeasurably important.
 
2013-05-18 10:54:36 AM

Ishkur: I will wait until it comes out on BitTorrent and I will steal it and watch it for free.

That's how much respect I have for these movies.


Why Waite...

movie2k.to
 
2013-05-18 10:55:18 AM

DamnYankees: If it was good, I'd watch it. It's amazing to me how many people judge movies based on their premises.


Because some of us have differing tastes depending on stuff like the intelligence quality of the plot?

I mean, did  The Avengers have nearly as much nerdrage as  Prometheusand  Into Darkness?
 
Displayed 50 of 368 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report