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(Telegraph)   It's a good idea not to get embalmed. Ya know... just in case you want to wake up in the middle of your own funeral   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 38
    More: Scary, Johannesburg, Harare  
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8606 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 May 2013 at 2:26 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-18 12:14:15 AM
They shrieked, they shook and they cried
When Zantha had mysteriously "died"
But when he then stirred,
The screams that were heard
Led Mugabe to say, "Guess he lied."
 
2013-05-18 12:23:26 AM
Well, there goes my evening
 
2013-05-18 02:27:23 AM
If you can come back to life you weren't really dead yet.
 
2013-05-18 02:32:37 AM
Mostly dead means he's still partly alive ;)
 
2013-05-18 02:34:24 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Well, there goes my evening


off to make your own zombie?
 
2013-05-18 02:38:37 AM
Maybe they mixed his embalming fluid with Worcestershire sauce.
 
2013-05-18 02:39:04 AM
How does this even happen? Did he go unconscious and they just said "Eh fark it, close enough"?
 
2013-05-18 02:44:55 AM
Then he wasn't embalmed. If you aren't dead when the embalming process begins you certainly will be by the time it ends.
 
2013-05-18 02:46:33 AM
If quantum immortality is a real thing, that is gonna happen to all of us at least once.
 
2013-05-18 02:46:46 AM
Heh... I wonder if they had zombie stories in their culture before this one?
 
2013-05-18 02:56:14 AM
 
2013-05-18 02:59:22 AM
On a totally unrelated note, make sure your mother in law is embalmed and/or cremated.
 
2013-05-18 03:01:44 AM
Since he fake died they should bury him in that fake cemetery from the previous thread.
 
2013-05-18 03:04:14 AM
I've heard wine enemas will do that.
 
2013-05-18 03:08:54 AM
Guess he really didn't want to go on the cart.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-18 03:21:42 AM
This is why I demand to be embalmed. It's not so bad when you come back during the funeral, but I sure as hell don't want to come back after the burial.
 
2013-05-18 03:24:17 AM
Couldn't tell fer sure he was dead? This voodoo/witchdoctor/syncretic/ogga-booga healthcare is in your future America! Thanks, Obama!
 
2013-05-18 03:38:24 AM

Gordon Bennett: Then he wasn't embalmed. If you aren't dead when the embalming process begins you certainly will be by the time it ends.


Yeh, pretty much so. Do they still embalm if you're wanna be cremated? Cause that would suck to wake up to.
 
2013-05-18 03:44:43 AM
Zimbabwe.  They're gonna cut off his head and burn his corpse tomorrow.
 
2013-05-18 03:45:56 AM

BarkingUnicorn: Zimbabwe.  They're gonna cut off his head and burn his corpse tomorrow.


I think they usually want just the penis and sack.
 
2013-05-18 03:50:26 AM

tinfoil-hat maggie: Gordon Bennett: Then he wasn't embalmed. If you aren't dead when the embalming process begins you certainly will be by the time it ends.

Yeh, pretty much so. Do they still embalm if you're wanna be cremated? Cause that would suck to wake up to.


Embalming before cremation is not required.  However, if you plan an open-casket viewing or long-distance transportation prior to cremation, embalming might be a good idea.  And some sleazy morticians might bill you for unnecessary embalming before cremation, even if they don't do any embalming.
 
2013-05-18 04:04:46 AM

jtown: On a totally unrelated note, make sure your mother in law is embalmed and/or cremated.


Embalm, cremate and bury.  Take no chances.
 
2013-05-18 04:37:41 AM
Jesus fark!  How does this still happen today? Even in the third world!
/Buried alive = my WORST nightmare.
 
2013-05-18 05:21:01 AM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-05-18 05:51:59 AM
I would think that waking up before you are buried might be a good thing.

Reminds me of "the world's funniest joke"
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"[3]
 
2013-05-18 06:14:27 AM
In all fairness, if they would have just embalmed her, none of this would have happened.
 
2013-05-18 07:27:15 AM
One of my neighbors had an aneurysm a couple years back and stayed on life support for a couple of days before his family made the decision to go ahead and harvest the organs. He woke up in the operating room. The longer version of this story is much worse. He's alive though.
 
2013-05-18 07:27:48 AM
Someone must have given him a drug that voodoo priests use to simulate death.
 
2013-05-18 07:28:26 AM
Is this possibly a new medical treatment?  He was ill for a long time, "dies" and now feels better.
 
2013-05-18 07:40:36 AM
Does he feel better than James Brown?
 
2013-05-18 07:55:37 AM

Deep Contact: Someone must have given him a drug that voodoo priests use to simulate death.


 What the?! What kind of dastardly serpent would do that? I hope he doesn't have any happiness or rainbows in his future!
 
2013-05-18 08:24:58 AM
Saved by the BELLE.
 
2013-05-18 08:27:36 AM
Oh, Sorry...  I thought it was a woman mourner that noticed him moving.
 
2013-05-18 09:16:39 AM

kayanlau: Does he feel better than James Brown?

How do YOU feel?

 
2013-05-18 09:32:01 AM
 
2013-05-18 11:32:27 AM
I don't plan on being preserved anyway. Just set me in the earth ASAP in as thin a box as you can manage.  Just let the worms have their feast.
 
2013-05-18 01:13:58 PM
i88.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-18 01:35:47 PM

JonnyG: One of my neighbors had an aneurysm a couple years back and stayed on life support for a couple of days before his family made the decision to go ahead and harvest the organs. He woke up in the operating room. The longer version of this story is much worse. He's alive though.


O_O
 
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