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(The Raw Story)   Man sues after personal lubricant allegedly destroys his penis   (rawstory.com) divider line 124
    More: Sad, personal lubricant, Kama Sutra  
•       •       •

13601 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2013 at 5:42 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-17 06:19:35 PM  

Anderson's Pooper: The swelling irreparably damaged the tissues of Lowe's penis and resulted in "permanent scarring and disfigurement of the penis, permanent loss of sensation in the penis, permanent loss of functioning of the penis, permanent nerve damage to the penis, permanent tissue damage to the penis, and the inability to ejaculate."


That may be the most frightening thing I have ever read.


You should have been around for the "penile degloving" thread a while ago with BronyMedic giving a blow by blow of the procedure.

Then it got wierd...
 
2013-05-17 06:20:17 PM  

HindiDiscoMonster: Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...


imgc.allpostersimages.com

Hmmm...
 
2013-05-17 06:20:26 PM  

Ihaveanevilparrot: I don't see how it could be determined to be the lube.


You've forgotten "post hoc, ergo propter hoc" and the power of "penile disfigurement, LOL" to generate clicks.
 
2013-05-17 06:21:05 PM  
I don't think this story is honest. More like dude uses this numbing stuff over and over without issue. That's all good. This time he gets an idea that includes soaking his weenus in the stuff by wearing a condom filled with it to get some extra numbing. Then he uses a penis pump, maybe for the first time, till he permanently maims himself because he doesn't feel the damage being done. Now what? Well, let's make lemonade!
 
2013-05-17 06:21:15 PM  
Even the photo credit is full of win:   [image of man cupping genitals protectively via Shutterstock.com]
 
2013-05-17 06:21:42 PM  

HindiDiscoMonster: JesseL: Dr. Quasius: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

Longevity, man, longevity.

What happened to thinking about baseball? If you can't feel it what's the point?

Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...


I think the point is to prolong the erection not completely kill it....
 
2013-05-17 06:27:03 PM  

prjindigo: sounds like a latex alergy
you're NOT SUPPOSED TO PUT shiat ON UNDER THE CONDOM idiot.


Actually, you can and it feels better makes things more slippery.  If your condom is too tight a fight or is only slightly lubed on the inside it can be awful.

Amateur.
 
2013-05-17 06:27:43 PM  

SpdrJay: Dr. Quasius: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

Longevity, man, longevity.

Having a damaged penis will make me live longer?


Yeah, it'll keep women from wanting to marry you.
 
2013-05-17 06:28:39 PM  
Could be that the lube reacted with the condom.

/just a wild ass guess
 
2013-05-17 06:28:56 PM  

rezaxis: I don't think this story is honest. More like dude uses this numbing stuff over and over without issue. That's all good. This time he gets an idea that includes soaking his weenus in the stuff by wearing a condom filled with it to get some extra numbing. Then he uses a penis pump, maybe for the first time, till he permanently maims himself because he doesn't feel the damage being done. Now what? Well, let's make lemonade!


He should have read this first:

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-17 06:32:14 PM  

Tom_Slick: BumpInTheNight: Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.

Your handle is hilariously apt :P

Sadly had the handle long before I slung lube for a living,

/Saturday Morning Cartoons FTW



So your penis is nicknamed the Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper?
 
2013-05-17 06:33:06 PM  

Prof. Frink: SpdrJay: Dr. Quasius: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

Longevity, man, longevity.

Having a damaged penis will make me live longer?

Yeah, it'll keep women from wanting to marry you.


A recent survey revealed that nine out of ten married women would rather not have sex with functional penis vs not have sex with a broken penis.
 
2013-05-17 06:38:40 PM  

phillydrifter: Your You're doing it wrong.


So are you
 
2013-05-17 06:38:51 PM  
to the crappy folks running that crappy company, soon to get sued into oblivion- HAHA!
Karma works
 
2013-05-17 06:41:21 PM  
Generally speaking, reliable sexual lubricants don't come in sealed metal cans with a UN number label.
 
2013-05-17 06:41:37 PM  

Sticky Hands: Prof. Frink: SpdrJay: Dr. Quasius: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

Longevity, man, longevity.

Having a damaged penis will make me live longer?

Yeah, it'll keep women from wanting to marry you.

A recent survey revealed that nine out of ten married women would rather not have sex with functional penis vs not have sex with a broken penis.


Broken penis doesn't poke you in the ass or fark your neighbor.
 
2013-05-17 06:43:56 PM  
Was it spermicidal? Are they still using nonoxynal-9 as a spermicide? That shiat is horrible, gives me a burning sensation just thinking about it. I wouldn't be surprised if that ate through your skin.
 
2013-05-17 06:44:50 PM  

common sense is an oxymoron: Tom_Slick: BumpInTheNight: Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.

Your handle is hilariously apt :P

Sadly had the handle long before I slung lube for a living,

/Saturday Morning Cartoons FTW


So your penis is nicknamed the Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper?


Whoah. I never realized what a dirty cartoon that was.
 
2013-05-17 06:46:27 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: Link is to The Raw Story. Perfect.


HartRend: Ok... nobody has laugh at the fact that this is being carried by "Raw Story"? :)



Has anybody mentioned this story is on the "Raw Story" yet?
 
2013-05-17 06:46:47 PM  

SomethingToDo: Generally speaking, reliable sexual lubricants don't come in sealed metal cans with a UN number label.


UN 1056?
 
2013-05-17 06:46:58 PM  

JesseL: common sense is an oxymoron: Tom_Slick: BumpInTheNight: Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.

Your handle is hilariously apt :P

Sadly had the handle long before I slung lube for a living,

/Saturday Morning Cartoons FTW


So your penis is nicknamed the Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper?

Whoah. I never realized what a dirty cartoon that was.


Why do you think they called he Penelope Pitstop?
 
2013-05-17 07:08:42 PM  

Tom_Slick: JesseL: common sense is an oxymoron: Tom_Slick: BumpInTheNight: Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.

Your handle is hilariously apt :P

Sadly had the handle long before I slung lube for a living,

/Saturday Morning Cartoons FTW


So your penis is nicknamed the Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper?

Whoah. I never realized what a dirty cartoon that was.

Why do you think they called he Penelope Pitstop?


Ooh, I remember her. What was the name of the cartoon?
 
2013-05-17 07:17:07 PM  
TFA doesn't supply any details, so this is wanton speculation (the best kind!). He may have developed an allergy to the paraben group of preservatives. You find these in all kinds of lotions, lubricated condoms, lip balms, and all kinds of other things, including some non-refrigerated sausages.

I picked up the allergy using "hypoallergenic" Lubriderm. Yep, my dick swelled up for days, and then all the skin peeled off. No lasting damage, thank god.

As it turns out, "hypoallergenic" actually has no meaning, you can slap that label on anything without the government blinking an eye. It's fairly common to develop allergies to the paraben compounds, and the particular batch of Lubriderm involved seems to have had an especially sloppy blend. Normally, you just see one (1) paraben used, but this batch had three different parabens in it.

The paraben compounds have names like methyl paraben, ethyl paraben, butyl paraben, and isobutyl paraben. For what it's worth.
 
2013-05-17 07:21:09 PM  

AbbeySomeone: Tom_Slick: JesseL: common sense is an oxymoron: Tom_Slick: BumpInTheNight: Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.

Your handle is hilariously apt :P

Sadly had the handle long before I slung lube for a living,

/Saturday Morning Cartoons FTW


So your penis is nicknamed the Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper?

Whoah. I never realized what a dirty cartoon that was.

Why do you think they called he Penelope Pitstop?

Ooh, I remember her. What was the name of the cartoon?


Wacky Races
 
2013-05-17 07:23:09 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: Link is to The Raw Story. Perfect.


THIS, made me chuckle
 
2013-05-17 07:29:34 PM  

lizaardvark: TFA doesn't supply any details, so this is wanton speculation (the best kind!). He may have developed an allergy to the paraben group of preservatives. You find these in all kinds of lotions, lubricated condoms, lip balms, and all kinds of other things, including some non-refrigerated sausages.

I picked up the allergy using "hypoallergenic" Lubriderm. Yep, my dick swelled up for days, and then all the skin peeled off. No lasting damage, thank god.

As it turns out, "hypoallergenic" actually has no meaning, you can slap that label on anything without the government blinking an eye. It's fairly common to develop allergies to the paraben compounds, and the particular batch of Lubriderm involved seems to have had an especially sloppy blend. Normally, you just see one (1) paraben used, but this batch had three different parabens in it.

The paraben compounds have names like methyl paraben, ethyl paraben, butyl paraben, and isobutyl paraben. For what it's worth.


I'm thinking I'll just stick with Surgilube. I figure if they use it for catheterization in hospitals it is probably pretty reliably safe.
 
2013-05-17 07:32:21 PM  
Why does this only happen to people who *want* theirs? =(
 
2013-05-17 07:33:19 PM  

DORMAMU: Anderson's Pooper: The swelling irreparably damaged the tissues of Lowe's penis and resulted in "permanent scarring and disfigurement of the penis, permanent loss of sensation in the penis, permanent loss of functioning of the penis, permanent nerve damage to the penis, permanent tissue damage to the penis, and the inability to ejaculate."


That may be the most frightening thing I have ever read.

You should have been around for the "penile degloving" thread a while ago with BronyMedic giving a blow by blow of the procedure.

Then it got wierd...


I knew a guy who had a finger degloved; his wedding ring snagged on something when he was jumping out of the back of a truck. They couldn't save the finger.

I can't even imagine what penile degloving would feel like.
 
2013-05-17 07:41:25 PM  

FrancoFile: DORMAMU: Anderson's Pooper: The swelling irreparably damaged the tissues of Lowe's penis and resulted in "permanent scarring and disfigurement of the penis, permanent loss of sensation in the penis, permanent loss of functioning of the penis, permanent nerve damage to the penis, permanent tissue damage to the penis, and the inability to ejaculate."


That may be the most frightening thing I have ever read.

You should have been around for the "penile degloving" thread a while ago with BronyMedic giving a blow by blow of the procedure.

Then it got wierd...

I knew a guy who had a finger degloved; his wedding ring snagged on something when he was jumping out of the back of a truck. They couldn't save the finger.

I can't even imagine what penile degloving would feel like.

,
Pretty sure it's called penectomy, not degloving.
 
2013-05-17 07:46:00 PM  
He should have gotten a Winter's shunt, then a degloving, followed by an exploded testicle.
 
2013-05-17 07:46:24 PM  

lizaardvark: I picked up the allergy using "hypoallergenic" Lubriderm. Yep, my dick swelled up for days, and then all the skin peeled off.


If you could get rid of the skin peeling bit, that might actually be quite popular...
 
2013-05-17 08:37:57 PM  
Having worked in a sex shop and sold this exact thing, I get a huge kick out of these replies.

And for the record, Kama Sutra product is garbage and over-priced.
 
gja
2013-05-17 08:54:01 PM  

uncleacid: What a penis destroyer may look like.

[media.mlive.com image 380x249]


FTFY

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-17 08:56:21 PM  

common sense is an oxymoron: Tom_Slick: BumpInTheNight: Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.

Your handle is hilariously apt :P

Sadly had the handle long before I slung lube for a living,

/Saturday Morning Cartoons FTW


So your penis is nicknamed the Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper?


Better that than Quick Draw McGraw.
 
2013-05-17 08:56:54 PM  
So much work when the obvious post is the weener.

Penis.
 
gja
2013-05-17 08:59:46 PM  
One word: Astroglide
 
2013-05-17 09:04:44 PM  
Excess fapping. Next case, nurse
 
2013-05-17 09:04:58 PM  
FTA: The gel was defective, he said, and his injuries are the result of negligence on the part of the manufacturer and "were in no way caused by acts or omissions emissions on his part."

FTFM.
 
2013-05-17 09:09:27 PM  
On a related note, don't go nude sunbathing without a REALLY good sunblock.
 
2013-05-17 09:14:46 PM  

lantawa: He probably also took Viagra or something like it, further adding to the blue balls.

On another note, a message to all you younger folk. Do not EVER put an acid-based antifungal or wart removing compound on your dick. Like Blistosol, for instance. Danger, Will Robinson! Don't do it....


I have an equivalent warning for all the younger Farkettes...bikini depilatories are for bikini area  ONLY...
NEVER use it to get rid of ALL the hair down there.

I wouldn't wish pain like that on my worst enemy. Felt like someone slapped a little white phosphorous
on the poor gal. The more I tried to rinse it off, the more it burned. Tears, pain, droplets of blood
welling out of the pores. A fun time was had by farking NO ONE.

Farking Nair.
 
2013-05-17 09:19:53 PM  

duckpoopy: He should have gotten a Winter's shunt, then a degloving, followed by an exploded testicle.


I don't know what a Winter's shunt is, but given that the term is keeping company with such gems
as 'degloving' and 'exploded testicle', I don't think I want to know.

Not gonna Google it. Wouldn't be prudent at this junc-ture.
 
2013-05-17 09:21:45 PM  
"why come his hands okay and shiat?" asks Idiocracy lawyer
 
2013-05-17 09:35:05 PM  
Is he SURE he grabbed the right bottle?

cdn-i.dmdentertainment.com
 
2013-05-17 09:50:45 PM  

HindiDiscoMonster: JesseL: Dr. Quasius: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

Longevity, man, longevity.

What happened to thinking about baseball? If you can't feel it what's the point?

Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...


i1243.photobucket.com
Sounds like someone's been a bad lad. A very bad lad.

/A word of caution: saying it three times will summon her.
 
2013-05-17 09:56:47 PM  

lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?


LOTS of men (particularly American men) have problems with premature ejaculation.
 
2013-05-17 10:02:33 PM  

UsikFark: prjindigo: sounds like a latex alergy
you're NOT SUPPOSED TO PUT shiat ON UNDER THE CONDOM idiot.

You can put water and silicone based lubes under a condom.


Do you put your underwear on over your jeans too?
 
2013-05-17 10:03:35 PM  
Hej raring!   Jag har en tolv tums penis.
 
2013-05-17 10:06:45 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: Was it spermicidal? Are they still using nonoxynal-9 as a spermicide? That shiat is horrible, gives me a burning sensation just thinking about it. I wouldn't be surprised if that ate through your skin.


I used some of that stuff once - gave me a burn I'll never, ever forget. Nasty shiat! :-(
 
2013-05-17 10:17:49 PM  

khyberkitsune: Having worked in a sex shop and sold this exact thing, I get a huge kick out of these replies.

And for the record, Kama Sutra product is garbage and over-priced.


coconut oil is the best lube and non toxic or  reactive.
 
2013-05-17 10:18:52 PM  

RealFarknMcCoy2: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

LOTS of men (particularly American men) have problems with premature ejaculation.


Why? I get that the whole industrial and noise thing isn't for everyone, but why care enough to have a problem with them? It's not like their music is played on the radio or anything.
i1243.photobucket.com
http://www.discogs.com/artist/Premature+Ejaculation (NSFW)

On a serious note, is it more likely that a higher percentage of American men are premature ejaculators or that American men are so insecure about their sexual performance that an industry was created to profit from them? It's a rather clever business model:
Step 1: Sell insecurity
Step 2: Sell a quick-fix "solution" to the insecure
Step 3: Profit
 
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