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(The Raw Story)   Man sues after personal lubricant allegedly destroys his penis   (rawstory.com) divider line 124
    More: Sad, personal lubricant, Kama Sutra  
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13576 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2013 at 5:42 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



124 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-05-17 05:20:51 PM  
Well, it WAS de-sensitizing gel... it was just a bit more effective than he planned
 
2013-05-17 05:27:05 PM  
Link is to The Raw Story. Perfect.
 
2013-05-17 05:44:54 PM  
The swelling irreparably damaged the tissues of Lowe's penis and resulted in "permanent scarring and disfigurement of the penis, permanent loss of sensation in the penis, permanent loss of functioning of the penis, permanent nerve damage to the penis, permanent tissue damage to the penis, and the inability to ejaculate."


That may be the most frightening thing I have ever read.
 
2013-05-17 05:44:54 PM  
Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?
 
2013-05-17 05:45:26 PM  
Nope.


Nopenopenope.
 
2013-05-17 05:45:42 PM  
www.rawstory.com

What a man with a destroyed penis might look like.
 
2013-05-17 05:46:27 PM  

lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?


Longevity, man, longevity.
 
2013-05-17 05:46:28 PM  
For God's sake, man, what was the name of that lubricant?!
 
2013-05-17 05:47:51 PM  

Astorix: For God's sake, man, what was the name of that lubricant?!



MethMemories®
 
2013-05-17 05:49:25 PM  

Astorix: For God's sake, man, what was the name of that lubricant?!


Syphilslick ®
 
2013-05-17 05:49:26 PM  
Well, I guess it's back to butter..,
 
2013-05-17 05:49:43 PM  

Dr. Quasius: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

Longevity, man, longevity.


What happened to thinking about baseball? If you can't feel it what's the point?
 
2013-05-17 05:50:21 PM  

Astorix: For God's sake, man, what was the name of that lubricant?!


FTA:

Lowe said that prior to September 1, 2012, he had used Kama Sutra Pleasure Balm Prolonging Gel without incident, but on that day he applied the product before putting on a condom to have sex with his fiancée. During intercourse, the couple were interrupted. Lowe waited for his fiancée to return to bed, but experienced "excruciating pain and pressure in his penis," according to the suit.
 
2013-05-17 05:53:14 PM  
Your doing it wrong.
 
2013-05-17 05:53:49 PM  
I can't possibly be the only one who clicked just to make sure the offending lubricant isn't something that I use.
 
2013-05-17 05:53:51 PM  
This story rubs me the wrong way.
 
2013-05-17 05:54:19 PM  
Okay, that is a reason to go off half-cocked.
 
2013-05-17 05:54:39 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: Link is to The Raw Story. Perfect.


Came here to say this.
 
2013-05-17 05:54:44 PM  
Lowe said that prior to September 1, 2012, he had used Kama Sutra Pleasure Balm Prolonging Gel without incident, but on that day he applied the product before putting on a condom to have sex with his fiancée. During intercourse, the couple were interrupted. Lowe waited for his fiancée to return to bed, but experienced "excruciating pain and pressure in his penis," according to the suit.

So obviously it was the gel. That he'd used on prior occasions without incident.
 
2013-05-17 05:55:45 PM  

Astorix: For God's sake, man, what was the name of that lubricant?!


New Years Eve

/makes the balls drop
 
2013-05-17 05:56:07 PM  

JesseL: Dr. Quasius: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

Longevity, man, longevity.

What happened to thinking about baseball? If you can't feel it what's the point?


Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...
 
2013-05-17 05:57:00 PM  
cdn.ebaumsworld.com
 
2013-05-17 05:57:35 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: Lowe said that prior to September 1, 2012, he had used Kama Sutra Pleasure Balm Prolonging Gel without incident, but on that day he applied the product before putting on a condom to have sex with his fiancée. During intercourse, the couple were interrupted. Lowe waited for his fiancée to return to bed, but experienced "excruciating pain and pressure in his penis," according to the suit.

So obviously it was the gel. That he'd used on prior occasions without incident.


This time the wife added a little Tiger Balm.  Helps not to forget your anniversary.
 
2013-05-17 05:59:01 PM  
I'd have to see a picture of the fiancee to make a judgement on the penis swelling issue.
 
2013-05-17 05:59:29 PM  
shoulda used bodysoap.
 
2013-05-17 06:01:59 PM  
When you can't find a listing for the ingredients in a product, considering how many crappy products with real toxic chemicals that do list ingredients, it should really tell you something.
 
2013-05-17 06:02:31 PM  

kvinesknows: shoulda used bodysoap.


or just use one of those cheap rubbers where you don't feel anything.  you could go all night.
 
2013-05-17 06:02:43 PM  
Ok... nobody has laugh at the fact that this is being carried by "Raw Story"? :)
 
2013-05-17 06:02:54 PM  
You have to wonder what kind of situation requires additional penis-desensitizing then just wearing a condom.  Condom with fiance plus even further gimmicks....hrm ...freshly de-virginized moron with life long prematurity issues is my guess.
 
2013-05-17 06:03:01 PM  
Prolongs Men's Pleasure
Designed to heighten and prolong a man's sensual experience. Pleasure Balm Prolonging Gel for Men has a gently numbing quality to give control and help increase staying power. Water-based. Washes off easily. Won't stain fabrics. Safe to use with Latex condoms only.
* These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

So THAT'S what the little warning means: may cause loss of penis, Free Market faith.
 
2013-05-17 06:03:58 PM  
sounds like a latex alergy
you're NOT SUPPOSED TO PUT shiat ON UNDER THE CONDOM idiot.
 
2013-05-17 06:04:00 PM  
I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.
 
2013-05-17 06:04:45 PM  

Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.


Your handle is hilariously apt :P
 
2013-05-17 06:05:50 PM  

prjindigo: sounds like a latex alergy
you're NOT SUPPOSED TO PUT shiat ON UNDER THE CONDOM idiot.


You can put water and silicone based lubes under a condom.
 
2013-05-17 06:06:54 PM  

pyrotek85: During intercourse, the couple were interrupted. Lowe waited for his fiancée to return to bed, but experienced "excruciating pain and pressure in his penis," according to the suit.


Sounds like somebody just experienced blue balls for the first time.
 
2013-05-17 06:07:28 PM  

BumpInTheNight: Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.

Your handle is hilariously apt :P


Sadly had the handle long before I slung lube for a living,

/Saturday Morning Cartoons FTW
 
2013-05-17 06:07:43 PM  

Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.


*looks at your username*

[iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg]
 
2013-05-17 06:08:56 PM  

gweilo8888: pyrotek85: During intercourse, the couple were interrupted. Lowe waited for his fiancée to return to bed, but experienced "excruciating pain and pressure in his penis," according to the suit.

Sounds like somebody just experienced blue balls for the first time.


It sounds like priapism, actually. I bet the guy waited in bed for over four hours before seeking medical attention. His wife probably went to the store for a thing or two.
 
2013-05-17 06:10:16 PM  
Yeah, that's the ticket. Destroyed my penis, it did. Why, you should have seen it before. Magnificent! A foot if it was a centimeter, and straight as an arrow! Went off like a Howitzer! Of course it wasn't always like this, why do you ask?
 
2013-05-17 06:10:20 PM  

Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.


Does this mean you can change the oil in your car all by yourself?
 
2013-05-17 06:10:38 PM  

Dr. Quasius: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

Longevity, man, longevity.


Having a damaged penis will make me live longer?
 
2013-05-17 06:12:12 PM  

StrikitRich: Does this mean you can change the oil in your car all by yourself?


With no hands
 
2013-05-17 06:13:22 PM  

JesseL: Dr. Quasius: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

Longevity, man, longevity.

What happened to thinking about baseball? If you can't feel it what's the point?


Wait wait wait...THAT's why you're supposed to think about baseball? I always though you were supposed to think about baseball because there's no crying in baseball.
 
2013-05-17 06:14:20 PM  
What a penis destroyer may look like.

media.mlive.com
 
2013-05-17 06:14:44 PM  
He probably also took Viagra or something like it, further adding to the blue balls.

On another note, a message to all you younger folk. Do not EVER put an acid-based antifungal or wart removing compound on your dick. Like Blistosol, for instance. Danger, Will Robinson! Don't do it....
 
Ehh
2013-05-17 06:16:05 PM  
There was a young fellow named Slattery...
 
2013-05-17 06:16:09 PM  

lantawa: Do not EVER put an acid-based antifungal or wart removing compound on your dick.


The thought had never occurred to me. Why did  you do this? I'm assuming these are the lessons of experience.
 
2013-05-17 06:16:28 PM  
Why did he automatically go after the lube instead of the condom? It could have been a latex allergy. You can develop an allergy to latex even after having used it previously too.

Unless he was allergy tested, or the lube was tested and determined to have something toxic, I don't see how it could be determined to be the lube. Though, I do see how desensitizing gel could have numbed the area causing him to not notice an allergic reaction long enough to cause damage.
In general desensitizing gels are a bad idea for just that reason. If anything happens and there is some kind of issue they can cause you to ignore it for long enough to cause damage to the tissue. That's why it's also not recommended to use any type of desensitizing gels with anal, since if there's discomfort it's because your body is trying to tell you there's a problem.
 
2013-05-17 06:16:53 PM  

ArcadianRefugee: Lowe said that prior to September 1, 2012, he had used Kama Sutra Pleasure Balm Prolonging Gel without incident, but on that day he applied the product before putting on a condom to have sex with his fiancée. During intercourse, the couple were interrupted. Lowe waited for his fiancée to return to bed, but experienced "excruciating pain and pressure in his penis," according to the suit.

So obviously it was the gel. That he'd used on prior occasions without incident.


I'm guessing it was a reaction between the gel and something coating the condom (a spermicide, perhaps). Would explain why it never happened before. Just a WAG, though.
 
2013-05-17 06:18:02 PM  
"He removed the condom and his penis swelled significantly.

Those are called, "erections."
 
2013-05-17 06:19:35 PM  

Anderson's Pooper: The swelling irreparably damaged the tissues of Lowe's penis and resulted in "permanent scarring and disfigurement of the penis, permanent loss of sensation in the penis, permanent loss of functioning of the penis, permanent nerve damage to the penis, permanent tissue damage to the penis, and the inability to ejaculate."


That may be the most frightening thing I have ever read.


You should have been around for the "penile degloving" thread a while ago with BronyMedic giving a blow by blow of the procedure.

Then it got wierd...
 
2013-05-17 06:20:17 PM  

HindiDiscoMonster: Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...


imgc.allpostersimages.com

Hmmm...
 
2013-05-17 06:20:26 PM  

Ihaveanevilparrot: I don't see how it could be determined to be the lube.


You've forgotten "post hoc, ergo propter hoc" and the power of "penile disfigurement, LOL" to generate clicks.
 
2013-05-17 06:21:05 PM  
I don't think this story is honest. More like dude uses this numbing stuff over and over without issue. That's all good. This time he gets an idea that includes soaking his weenus in the stuff by wearing a condom filled with it to get some extra numbing. Then he uses a penis pump, maybe for the first time, till he permanently maims himself because he doesn't feel the damage being done. Now what? Well, let's make lemonade!
 
2013-05-17 06:21:15 PM  
Even the photo credit is full of win:   [image of man cupping genitals protectively via Shutterstock.com]
 
2013-05-17 06:21:42 PM  

HindiDiscoMonster: JesseL: Dr. Quasius: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

Longevity, man, longevity.

What happened to thinking about baseball? If you can't feel it what's the point?

Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...


I think the point is to prolong the erection not completely kill it....
 
2013-05-17 06:27:03 PM  

prjindigo: sounds like a latex alergy
you're NOT SUPPOSED TO PUT shiat ON UNDER THE CONDOM idiot.


Actually, you can and it feels better makes things more slippery.  If your condom is too tight a fight or is only slightly lubed on the inside it can be awful.

Amateur.
 
2013-05-17 06:27:43 PM  

SpdrJay: Dr. Quasius: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

Longevity, man, longevity.

Having a damaged penis will make me live longer?


Yeah, it'll keep women from wanting to marry you.
 
2013-05-17 06:28:39 PM  
Could be that the lube reacted with the condom.

/just a wild ass guess
 
2013-05-17 06:28:56 PM  

rezaxis: I don't think this story is honest. More like dude uses this numbing stuff over and over without issue. That's all good. This time he gets an idea that includes soaking his weenus in the stuff by wearing a condom filled with it to get some extra numbing. Then he uses a penis pump, maybe for the first time, till he permanently maims himself because he doesn't feel the damage being done. Now what? Well, let's make lemonade!


He should have read this first:

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-17 06:32:14 PM  

Tom_Slick: BumpInTheNight: Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.

Your handle is hilariously apt :P

Sadly had the handle long before I slung lube for a living,

/Saturday Morning Cartoons FTW



So your penis is nicknamed the Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper?
 
2013-05-17 06:33:06 PM  

Prof. Frink: SpdrJay: Dr. Quasius: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

Longevity, man, longevity.

Having a damaged penis will make me live longer?

Yeah, it'll keep women from wanting to marry you.


A recent survey revealed that nine out of ten married women would rather not have sex with functional penis vs not have sex with a broken penis.
 
2013-05-17 06:38:40 PM  

phillydrifter: Your You're doing it wrong.


So are you
 
2013-05-17 06:38:51 PM  
to the crappy folks running that crappy company, soon to get sued into oblivion- HAHA!
Karma works
 
2013-05-17 06:41:21 PM  
Generally speaking, reliable sexual lubricants don't come in sealed metal cans with a UN number label.
 
2013-05-17 06:41:37 PM  

Sticky Hands: Prof. Frink: SpdrJay: Dr. Quasius: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

Longevity, man, longevity.

Having a damaged penis will make me live longer?

Yeah, it'll keep women from wanting to marry you.

A recent survey revealed that nine out of ten married women would rather not have sex with functional penis vs not have sex with a broken penis.


Broken penis doesn't poke you in the ass or fark your neighbor.
 
2013-05-17 06:43:56 PM  
Was it spermicidal? Are they still using nonoxynal-9 as a spermicide? That shiat is horrible, gives me a burning sensation just thinking about it. I wouldn't be surprised if that ate through your skin.
 
2013-05-17 06:44:50 PM  

common sense is an oxymoron: Tom_Slick: BumpInTheNight: Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.

Your handle is hilariously apt :P

Sadly had the handle long before I slung lube for a living,

/Saturday Morning Cartoons FTW


So your penis is nicknamed the Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper?


Whoah. I never realized what a dirty cartoon that was.
 
2013-05-17 06:46:27 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: Link is to The Raw Story. Perfect.


HartRend: Ok... nobody has laugh at the fact that this is being carried by "Raw Story"? :)



Has anybody mentioned this story is on the "Raw Story" yet?
 
2013-05-17 06:46:47 PM  

SomethingToDo: Generally speaking, reliable sexual lubricants don't come in sealed metal cans with a UN number label.


UN 1056?
 
2013-05-17 06:46:58 PM  

JesseL: common sense is an oxymoron: Tom_Slick: BumpInTheNight: Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.

Your handle is hilariously apt :P

Sadly had the handle long before I slung lube for a living,

/Saturday Morning Cartoons FTW


So your penis is nicknamed the Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper?

Whoah. I never realized what a dirty cartoon that was.


Why do you think they called he Penelope Pitstop?
 
2013-05-17 07:08:42 PM  

Tom_Slick: JesseL: common sense is an oxymoron: Tom_Slick: BumpInTheNight: Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.

Your handle is hilariously apt :P

Sadly had the handle long before I slung lube for a living,

/Saturday Morning Cartoons FTW


So your penis is nicknamed the Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper?

Whoah. I never realized what a dirty cartoon that was.

Why do you think they called he Penelope Pitstop?


Ooh, I remember her. What was the name of the cartoon?
 
2013-05-17 07:17:07 PM  
TFA doesn't supply any details, so this is wanton speculation (the best kind!). He may have developed an allergy to the paraben group of preservatives. You find these in all kinds of lotions, lubricated condoms, lip balms, and all kinds of other things, including some non-refrigerated sausages.

I picked up the allergy using "hypoallergenic" Lubriderm. Yep, my dick swelled up for days, and then all the skin peeled off. No lasting damage, thank god.

As it turns out, "hypoallergenic" actually has no meaning, you can slap that label on anything without the government blinking an eye. It's fairly common to develop allergies to the paraben compounds, and the particular batch of Lubriderm involved seems to have had an especially sloppy blend. Normally, you just see one (1) paraben used, but this batch had three different parabens in it.

The paraben compounds have names like methyl paraben, ethyl paraben, butyl paraben, and isobutyl paraben. For what it's worth.
 
2013-05-17 07:21:09 PM  

AbbeySomeone: Tom_Slick: JesseL: common sense is an oxymoron: Tom_Slick: BumpInTheNight: Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.

Your handle is hilariously apt :P

Sadly had the handle long before I slung lube for a living,

/Saturday Morning Cartoons FTW


So your penis is nicknamed the Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper?

Whoah. I never realized what a dirty cartoon that was.

Why do you think they called he Penelope Pitstop?

Ooh, I remember her. What was the name of the cartoon?


Wacky Races
 
2013-05-17 07:23:09 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: Link is to The Raw Story. Perfect.


THIS, made me chuckle
 
2013-05-17 07:29:34 PM  

lizaardvark: TFA doesn't supply any details, so this is wanton speculation (the best kind!). He may have developed an allergy to the paraben group of preservatives. You find these in all kinds of lotions, lubricated condoms, lip balms, and all kinds of other things, including some non-refrigerated sausages.

I picked up the allergy using "hypoallergenic" Lubriderm. Yep, my dick swelled up for days, and then all the skin peeled off. No lasting damage, thank god.

As it turns out, "hypoallergenic" actually has no meaning, you can slap that label on anything without the government blinking an eye. It's fairly common to develop allergies to the paraben compounds, and the particular batch of Lubriderm involved seems to have had an especially sloppy blend. Normally, you just see one (1) paraben used, but this batch had three different parabens in it.

The paraben compounds have names like methyl paraben, ethyl paraben, butyl paraben, and isobutyl paraben. For what it's worth.


I'm thinking I'll just stick with Surgilube. I figure if they use it for catheterization in hospitals it is probably pretty reliably safe.
 
2013-05-17 07:32:21 PM  
Why does this only happen to people who *want* theirs? =(
 
2013-05-17 07:33:19 PM  

DORMAMU: Anderson's Pooper: The swelling irreparably damaged the tissues of Lowe's penis and resulted in "permanent scarring and disfigurement of the penis, permanent loss of sensation in the penis, permanent loss of functioning of the penis, permanent nerve damage to the penis, permanent tissue damage to the penis, and the inability to ejaculate."


That may be the most frightening thing I have ever read.

You should have been around for the "penile degloving" thread a while ago with BronyMedic giving a blow by blow of the procedure.

Then it got wierd...


I knew a guy who had a finger degloved; his wedding ring snagged on something when he was jumping out of the back of a truck. They couldn't save the finger.

I can't even imagine what penile degloving would feel like.
 
2013-05-17 07:41:25 PM  

FrancoFile: DORMAMU: Anderson's Pooper: The swelling irreparably damaged the tissues of Lowe's penis and resulted in "permanent scarring and disfigurement of the penis, permanent loss of sensation in the penis, permanent loss of functioning of the penis, permanent nerve damage to the penis, permanent tissue damage to the penis, and the inability to ejaculate."


That may be the most frightening thing I have ever read.

You should have been around for the "penile degloving" thread a while ago with BronyMedic giving a blow by blow of the procedure.

Then it got wierd...

I knew a guy who had a finger degloved; his wedding ring snagged on something when he was jumping out of the back of a truck. They couldn't save the finger.

I can't even imagine what penile degloving would feel like.

,
Pretty sure it's called penectomy, not degloving.
 
2013-05-17 07:46:00 PM  
He should have gotten a Winter's shunt, then a degloving, followed by an exploded testicle.
 
2013-05-17 07:46:24 PM  

lizaardvark: I picked up the allergy using "hypoallergenic" Lubriderm. Yep, my dick swelled up for days, and then all the skin peeled off.


If you could get rid of the skin peeling bit, that might actually be quite popular...
 
2013-05-17 08:37:57 PM  
Having worked in a sex shop and sold this exact thing, I get a huge kick out of these replies.

And for the record, Kama Sutra product is garbage and over-priced.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-05-17 08:54:01 PM  

uncleacid: What a penis destroyer may look like.

[media.mlive.com image 380x249]


FTFY

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-17 08:56:21 PM  

common sense is an oxymoron: Tom_Slick: BumpInTheNight: Tom_Slick: I used to work in the personal lube industry and I can tell you there is zero oversight. Anyone can create and sell their own lube.  This does not surprise me.

Your handle is hilariously apt :P

Sadly had the handle long before I slung lube for a living,

/Saturday Morning Cartoons FTW


So your penis is nicknamed the Thunderbolt Grease-Slapper?


Better that than Quick Draw McGraw.
 
2013-05-17 08:56:54 PM  
So much work when the obvious post is the weener.

Penis.
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-05-17 08:59:46 PM  
One word: Astroglide
 
2013-05-17 09:04:44 PM  
Excess fapping. Next case, nurse
 
2013-05-17 09:04:58 PM  
FTA: The gel was defective, he said, and his injuries are the result of negligence on the part of the manufacturer and "were in no way caused by acts or omissions emissions on his part."

FTFM.
 
2013-05-17 09:09:27 PM  
On a related note, don't go nude sunbathing without a REALLY good sunblock.
 
2013-05-17 09:14:46 PM  

lantawa: He probably also took Viagra or something like it, further adding to the blue balls.

On another note, a message to all you younger folk. Do not EVER put an acid-based antifungal or wart removing compound on your dick. Like Blistosol, for instance. Danger, Will Robinson! Don't do it....


I have an equivalent warning for all the younger Farkettes...bikini depilatories are for bikini area  ONLY...
NEVER use it to get rid of ALL the hair down there.

I wouldn't wish pain like that on my worst enemy. Felt like someone slapped a little white phosphorous
on the poor gal. The more I tried to rinse it off, the more it burned. Tears, pain, droplets of blood
welling out of the pores. A fun time was had by farking NO ONE.

Farking Nair.
 
2013-05-17 09:19:53 PM  

duckpoopy: He should have gotten a Winter's shunt, then a degloving, followed by an exploded testicle.


I don't know what a Winter's shunt is, but given that the term is keeping company with such gems
as 'degloving' and 'exploded testicle', I don't think I want to know.

Not gonna Google it. Wouldn't be prudent at this junc-ture.
 
2013-05-17 09:21:45 PM  
"why come his hands okay and shiat?" asks Idiocracy lawyer
 
2013-05-17 09:35:05 PM  
Is he SURE he grabbed the right bottle?

cdn-i.dmdentertainment.com
 
2013-05-17 09:50:45 PM  

HindiDiscoMonster: JesseL: Dr. Quasius: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

Longevity, man, longevity.

What happened to thinking about baseball? If you can't feel it what's the point?

Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...


i1243.photobucket.com
Sounds like someone's been a bad lad. A very bad lad.

/A word of caution: saying it three times will summon her.
 
2013-05-17 09:56:47 PM  

lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?


LOTS of men (particularly American men) have problems with premature ejaculation.
 
2013-05-17 10:02:33 PM  

UsikFark: prjindigo: sounds like a latex alergy
you're NOT SUPPOSED TO PUT shiat ON UNDER THE CONDOM idiot.

You can put water and silicone based lubes under a condom.


Do you put your underwear on over your jeans too?
 
2013-05-17 10:03:35 PM  
Hej raring!   Jag har en tolv tums penis.
 
2013-05-17 10:06:45 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: Was it spermicidal? Are they still using nonoxynal-9 as a spermicide? That shiat is horrible, gives me a burning sensation just thinking about it. I wouldn't be surprised if that ate through your skin.


I used some of that stuff once - gave me a burn I'll never, ever forget. Nasty shiat! :-(
 
2013-05-17 10:17:49 PM  

khyberkitsune: Having worked in a sex shop and sold this exact thing, I get a huge kick out of these replies.

And for the record, Kama Sutra product is garbage and over-priced.


coconut oil is the best lube and non toxic or  reactive.
 
2013-05-17 10:18:52 PM  

RealFarknMcCoy2: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

LOTS of men (particularly American men) have problems with premature ejaculation.


Why? I get that the whole industrial and noise thing isn't for everyone, but why care enough to have a problem with them? It's not like their music is played on the radio or anything.
i1243.photobucket.com
http://www.discogs.com/artist/Premature+Ejaculation (NSFW)

On a serious note, is it more likely that a higher percentage of American men are premature ejaculators or that American men are so insecure about their sexual performance that an industry was created to profit from them? It's a rather clever business model:
Step 1: Sell insecurity
Step 2: Sell a quick-fix "solution" to the insecure
Step 3: Profit
 
2013-05-17 10:26:54 PM  
The lubricant contained an antibacterial agent.  Your penis was just a giant bacteria cell.  Clearly no-fault.
 
2013-05-17 10:37:30 PM  

digitalrain: lantawa: He probably also took Viagra or something like it, further adding to the blue balls.

On another note, a message to all you younger folk. Do not EVER put an acid-based antifungal or wart removing compound on your dick. Like Blistosol, for instance. Danger, Will Robinson! Don't do it....

I have an equivalent warning for all the younger Farkettes...bikini depilatories are for bikini area  ONLY...
NEVER use it to get rid of ALL the hair down there.

I wouldn't wish pain like that on my worst enemy. Felt like someone slapped a little white phosphorous
on the poor gal. The more I tried to rinse it off, the more it burned. Tears, pain, droplets of blood
welling out of the pores. A fun time was had by farking NO ONE.

Farking Nair.


We could crack up a co-worker for months just by saying one word to him, months after this joke made the rounds.

A woman has a show dog - a schnauzer - and wants to have a very short, even coat on it. She figures that 1 month before the dog show, she'll depilate the whole thing, and then it will grow back perfectly.  But she's reading the boxes at the drug store, and it says if it's going to be used on sensitive skin to dilute it half-and-half with water. 
She goes up to the pharmacist to get his advice, "I need to know if I should dilute this Nair or not." "Well, what are you going to do with it?". She replies "I'm putting it on my schnauzer."
The pharmacist frowns for a second, then says "Yeah, dilute it half-and-half, and don't ride a bicycle for a week."
 
2013-05-17 10:41:56 PM  

HindiDiscoMonster: Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...


shawglobalnews.files.wordpress.com

Bea Topless.
 
2013-05-17 10:42:52 PM  

HartRend: Ok... nobody has laugh at the fact that this is being carried by "Raw Story"? :)


I laugh at practically everything posted on "Raw Story".
 
2013-05-17 10:48:02 PM  

Walter Paisley: On a serious note, is it more likely that a higher percentage of American men are premature ejaculators or that American men are so insecure about their sexual performance that an industry was created to profit from them? It's a rather clever business model:
Step 1: Sell insecurity
Step 2: Sell a quick-fix "solution" to the insecure
Step 3: Profit


Well, premature ejaculation tends to be more of a problem with circumsized males, so that probably explains the difference between American men and most of the rest of the world.
 
2013-05-17 10:48:35 PM  
First think Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day.  if that doesn't work think Bea Arthur naked on a cold day.  If neither of these work, try the ultimate...

Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama and Bea Arthur naked in a hot tub.
 
2013-05-17 11:24:44 PM  

khyberkitsune: Having worked in a sex shop and sold this exact thing, I get a huge kick out of these replies.

And for the record, Kama Sutra product is garbage and over-priced.


^ this. A thousand times...this.

And if you want longevity dudes...buy a cock ring. And start playing around with some tease and denial. Or get some viagra (from your doctor, please. There's counterfeit drugs pretty much everywhere else). But I'll also tell you this, most women don't want you lasting longer than 20-30 minutes.

And if you need lube, I personally recommend WET (the gay man's fav lube) or astroglide. I've never needed lube myself (I get too wet), but I'm sure I will after menopause. You don't need to dress up the lube. You don't need to get lube that has flavors, or scents, or gets hot or cold. Sensation play is super fun, but you can easily do it with things that aren't unidentifiable chemicals that burn your dick off.

Though, for the record...I have made a bad subby put icy hot on his balls. /evilgrin
 
2013-05-17 11:28:23 PM  

ScaryBottles: [www.rawstory.com image 615x345]

What a man with a destroyed penis might look like.


How YOU doin?
 
2013-05-17 11:37:09 PM  

lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?


K-Y Warming Jelly Personal Lubricant. Don't use it. It's like super glue and doesn't aid lubrication in any possible way.
 
2013-05-17 11:40:56 PM  

rnatalie: Do you put your underwear on over your jeans too?


THat way they effectively hide my thunder.

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-18 12:11:53 AM  

PaLarkin: First think Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day.  if that doesn't work think Bea Arthur naked on a cold day.  If neither of these work, try the ultimate...

Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama and Bea Arthur naked in a hot tub.


... And Tanning Mom?

spoiledpretty.com
 
2013-05-18 12:32:59 AM  

AbbeySomeone: coconut oil is the best lube and non toxic or reactive.


And very dangerous for those with high cholesterol, as my boyfriend found out.

Lady Indica: And if you need lube, I personally recommend WET (the gay man's fav lube) or astroglide.


Wet. No astroglide, that's garbage, too. Wet platinum for your ass, Wet original for jacking it and vaginal.
 
2013-05-18 12:38:56 AM  
While we are on the subject of lubes to avoid, add sesame oil to the list.
 
2013-05-18 12:52:35 AM  

RealFarknMcCoy2: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

LOTS of men (particularly American men) have problems with premature ejaculation.


I thought premature meant ... something else
 
2013-05-18 12:53:16 AM  

PaLarkin: First think Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day.  if that doesn't work think Bea Arthur naked on a cold day.  If neither of these work, try the ultimate...

Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama and Bea Arthur naked in a hot tub.


So it would kind of be like the cast of a 70's women in prison movie reenacting their bathing scenes in 2013? Which one would play the guard?
 
2013-05-18 01:41:30 AM  

Lady Indica: khyberkitsune: Having worked in a sex shop and sold this exact thing, I get a huge kick out of these replies.

And for the record, Kama Sutra product is garbage and over-priced.

^ this. A thousand times...this.

And if you want longevity dudes...buy a cock ring. And start playing around with some tease and denial. Or get some viagra (from your doctor, please. There's counterfeit drugs pretty much everywhere else). But I'll also tell you this, most women don't want you lasting longer than 20-30 minutes.

And if you need lube, I personally recommend WET (the gay man's fav lube) or astroglide. I've never needed lube myself (I get too wet), but I'm sure I will after menopause. You don't need to dress up the lube. You don't need to get lube that has flavors, or scents, or gets hot or cold. Sensation play is super fun, but you can easily do it with things that aren't unidentifiable chemicals that burn your dick off.

Though, for the record...I have made a bad subby put icy hot on his balls. /evilgrin


Go onnnn
 
2013-05-18 02:35:34 AM  

Lady Indica: Though, for the record...I have made a bad subby put icy hot on his balls. /evilgrin


Which is why I would never be the submissive.

also call me! please!
 
2013-05-18 03:49:12 AM  

Walter Paisley: PaLarkin: First think Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day.  if that doesn't work think Bea Arthur naked on a cold day.  If neither of these work, try the ultimate...

Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama and Bea Arthur naked in a hot tub.

So it would kind of be like the cast of a 70's women in prison movie reenacting their bathing scenes in 2013? Which one would play the guard?


Hillary should play vinegar tits.
 
2013-05-18 05:14:26 AM  

Walter Paisley: HindiDiscoMonster: JesseL: Dr. Quasius: lockers: Why in the hell would you want to make your pud less sensitive?

Longevity, man, longevity.

What happened to thinking about baseball? If you can't feel it what's the point?

Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...Margaret Thatcher nude on a cold day...


Sounds like someone's been a bad lad. A very bad lad.

/A word of caution: saying it three times will summon her.


You are a very very sick individual if that is your bag.I dont think Freud could help you.
 
2013-05-18 08:38:28 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
He was having premarital sex.  God is punishing him.  It's not the lube.
 
2013-05-18 09:20:19 AM  

RealFarknMcCoy2: Well, premature ejaculation tends to be more of a problem with circumsized males, so that probably explains the difference between American men and most of the rest of the world.


I don't see how that is a problem. It's like saying premature dessert or premature Christmas presents is a problem.

/Got other things to do.
 
2013-05-18 12:11:20 PM  

Walter Paisley: PaLarkin: First think Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day.  if that doesn't work think Bea Arthur naked on a cold day.  If neither of these work, try the ultimate...

Hillary Clinton, Michelle Obama and Bea Arthur naked in a hot tub.

So it would kind of be like the cast of a 70's women in prison movie reenacting their bathing scenes in 2013? Which one would play the guard?


Helen Thomas.
 
2013-05-18 12:13:03 PM  

gja: uncleacid: What a penis destroyer may look like.

[media.mlive.com image 380x249]

FTFY

[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 259x194]

i.imgur.com
 
gja [TotalFark]
2013-05-18 05:16:40 PM  

wambu: gja: uncleacid: What a penis destroyer may look like.

[media.mlive.com image 380x249]

FTFY

[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 259x194]
[i.imgur.com image 468x734]


AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.....

I need many, many , MANY drinks to get that out of my mind.
 
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