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(Vice)   To Be Filed Under Weird Japanese Shiat: Woman wants to give birth to a shark and then eat it   (vice.com) divider line 80
    More: Unlikely, Japanese, placenta, East London, food shortage, endangered animals  
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6019 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2013 at 6:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-17 07:20:08 PM
i won't believe it until i see the candygram.
 
2013-05-17 07:20:55 PM
And what are the advantages of doing this?
We don't need any more humans, there are too many already as it is. Mostly, it's a way of preserving endangered species.


You're going to eat it you dumb twit. That's not preserving anything. You're just a nut.
 
2013-05-17 07:22:42 PM
You gotta admit. If in passing you heard or saw a woman give birth to a shark and then casually soup it up, you would think to yourself, "Well that's the damndest thing I'll see today.
 
2013-05-17 07:27:39 PM

fanbladesaresharp: And what are the advantages of doing this?
We don't need any more humans, there are too many already as it is. Mostly, it's a way of preserving endangered species.

You're going to eat it you dumb twit. That's not preserving anything. You're just a nut.


By doing so, they aren't taking something out of the wild to eat; I presume the donators will be kept just for that purpose. Hence, "preserving endangered species".
 
2013-05-17 07:28:19 PM
Hmm...not Tea...must be some other old sci fi novel...
 
2013-05-17 07:33:22 PM
MOMMMM???!!!
pariahartworks.com
 
2013-05-17 07:34:26 PM
She should eat herself. THAT would be cool!
 
2013-05-17 07:35:47 PM
what, did it bother japan to be beaten by the british lady that gave birth to rabbits?

/and that's why magicians pull rabbits out of their wizard's sleeve
//true story
 
2013-05-17 07:46:39 PM
taimapedia.org
 
2013-05-17 07:49:46 PM
My only question is: did this kind of really bad reasoning come about after the atomic bomb was dropped on them or was it just always like this for them?  Either way how did they survive this long?
 
2013-05-17 07:49:58 PM
Did she accidentally the whole thing?
 
2013-05-17 07:52:26 PM

Fano: what, did it bother japan to be beaten by the british lady that gave birth to rabbits?

/and that's why magicians pull rabbits out of their wizard's sleeve
//true story


After they put on their wizard hats and robes?
 
2013-05-17 08:05:02 PM
OMG....I don't even


Japan this is weird even for you.
 
2013-05-17 08:26:23 PM

ArcadianRefugee: fanbladesaresharp: And what are the advantages of doing this?
We don't need any more humans, there are too many already as it is. Mostly, it's a way of preserving endangered species.

You're going to eat it you dumb twit. That's not preserving anything. You're just a nut.

By doing so, they aren't taking something out of the wild to eat; I presume the donators will be kept just for that purpose. Hence, "preserving endangered species".


Yeah I guess, if that's how she wants to rationalize it. By becoming her own closed loop? I'm ok with weird shiat, but her and I are never going to meet.
 
2013-05-17 08:29:08 PM
I'm hopeful that we just got a bad translation.
 
2013-05-17 08:41:47 PM
"They're endangered, their life-span is almost as long as that of a human, and most importantly, they're delicious."

THis is the best quote ever.
 
2013-05-17 08:45:09 PM
I'm calling BS. That or this is one bat shiat crazy lady.
 
2013-05-17 08:59:49 PM
I guess Japanese porn with girls putting baby eels in their butt started to get old, so now they have to escalate it to this.
 
2013-05-17 09:14:18 PM

Fano: *clevervariationofussindianapolisspeechhere*


Eleven hundred men went into the vagina. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. What we didn't know... was our mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Huh huh. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. The sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like ol' squares in battle like a, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark comes to the nearest man and that man, he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the vagina bleeds red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces.

I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand! I don't know how many men, they averaged six an hour. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the vagina, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest.
 
2013-05-17 09:16:23 PM

serpent_sky: 5monkeys: Wouldn't the shark eat you from the inside?

I didn't think of that, but I did think it would probably do a hell of a lot of damage on the way out.



Yeah. Sharkskin isn't exactly a low-friction material.

www.sciencenewsforkids.org
 
2013-05-17 09:29:07 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

Stay back crazy woman!
 
2013-05-17 09:50:08 PM

common sense is an oxymoron: serpent_sky: 5monkeys: Wouldn't the shark eat you from the inside?

I didn't think of that, but I did think it would probably do a hell of a lot of damage on the way out.


Yeah. Sharkskin isn't exactly a low-friction material.

[www.sciencenewsforkids.org image 640x480]


As long as Junior comes out head-first, it'll be OK...the hooks all face aft.
 
2013-05-17 10:37:15 PM
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com

/I've said enough
 
2013-05-17 11:05:18 PM
Needs more tentacles.  Let me know if she decides on a cephalopod for her next kid.
 
2013-05-17 11:45:02 PM
I have a feeling she's going to recreate the birthing scene from Alien.
 
2013-05-17 11:49:57 PM
img.fark.net
 
2013-05-18 12:44:13 AM
Ooo .... kay
 
2013-05-18 05:12:34 AM

Mega Steve: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Godscrack: TrollingForColumbine: Godscrack: Wasn't she a groupie for Led Zeppelin in the 70's?

The way you squeeze my lemon shark

Back then she was a grouper.

Yeah, but she'd give you the crabs

She's a real bottom-feeder


I guess she wasn't satisfied with a tadpole in a jar.
 
2013-05-18 11:58:10 AM

HighZoolander: Fano: *clevervariationofussindianapolisspeechhere*

Eleven hundred men went into the vagina. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. What we didn't know... was our mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Huh huh. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. The sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like ol' squares in battle like a, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark comes to the nearest man and that man, he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the vagina bleeds red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces.

I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand! I don't know how many men, they averaged six an hour. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the vagina, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest.


Anyway, we delivered the bomb.
 
2013-05-18 12:46:52 PM
i thought they already had enough flipper babies over there.

/seriously fark
//im the first?
 
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