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(University of Texas)   Good News: Fire ants are being displaced. Bad News: By another invasive ant. Fark: Crazy ants   (utexas.edu) divider line 43
    More: Scary, crazy ants, Southern Mississippi, pound gorilla, electrical equipment, Southeastern United States, common names  
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14708 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2013 at 1:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-05-17 12:47:33 PM
16 votes:
My uncle got rid of my crazy aunt before she could do permanent damage.
2013-05-17 02:46:01 PM
4 votes:
CSB Time:

When I was just a little recruit, I had an experience with fire ants on Parris Island during basic training. It was field week, and the training du jour was compass training. They drop you off out in the woods, give you a compass, a set of directions, and then you find your way out. So I'm about halfway through. I stop to take a bearing on the compass, and suddenly my legs are on fire. I'm standing in the middle of a fire ant bed. The little farkers had found the quickest route through my combat boots and camo pants. After quickly levitating myself away from the bed, I then proceeded to undress as rapidly as possible. Having grown up in Florida, I was no stranger to the pain being inflicted on me. Since there was no water nearby, I knew I had to beat the little farkers out of my clothes. Having spent about 10 minutes making sure I was now ant-free, I thought perhaps I should get moving, so I wouldn't fall too far behind. I didn't want to put my pants back on until I could thoroughly check them. So, carrying my pants in one hand and the compass in the other, I finished the course. I step out of the woods at the end right in front of my Senior Drill Instructor, wearing nothing but my skivvies. His eyes bugged out and I thought he was going pop a gasket. He yells, as only a Marine DI can yell, "Recruit Musicman, what in the holy name of Chesty Puller is your major malfunction?!?!" I looked him straight in the eye, and replied, "Fire Ants, Sir!" He put his face in his hands for moment, looked back up at me, having gotten his composure back, and with only half a smile, told me to go see the medic.

CSB Time over.
2013-05-17 02:30:06 PM
4 votes:
4.bp.blogspot.com

Hai guyz, what's goin on in here?
2013-05-17 01:31:33 PM
4 votes:
static.tvtropes.org
2013-05-17 01:25:14 PM
4 votes:
img708.imageshack.us
2013-05-17 04:02:44 PM
3 votes:
this sounds like a new twist on the 'hot vs crazy' dilemma
2013-05-17 02:11:10 PM
3 votes:
Great! When the virtualization of all our jobs by computers and the web means that all of the great corporations that used to employ tens of thousands of people are replaced by a dozen billionaires and a website, we can all make a precarious living as pest control officers.

There will always be work at the Post Office pest control company.

The McJob Makers in the One Percent may not be any use to humanity other than helping themselves, but our ant overlords will save us! Or maybe they will simply eat the billionaires who can't get anybody to de-bug their computers and their monster homes because we are all dead or unemployed or both.

I bet that when Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. wrote Player Piano about a dystopian future in which only bosses and their secretaries have any real meaningful work that hasn't be taken over by automation or expert software, that he never dreamed that the Ants will be our Saviours! (Vonnegut's brother worked as an engineer for IBM and was busy creating the world that his brother imagined.)

Them and a few tens of thousands of other species that we have inadvertently introduced to every continent and island in the world with the result that they have devastated natural ecosystems and set to work creating completely new and unnatural ecosystmes that may or may not include humans.

I am not scared by the myth of environmentalists and commies trying to destroy our beautiful capitalist economies, but I absolutely despise bedbugs and other pests, including Tories, Republicans, mosquitoes, midges, and other blood-sucking, disease-carrying monsters.

DDT was not good enough to destroy them, but this may be a good thing. We will have to do better and then do better again.

Welcome to the world of the Red Queen Ant, where you have to run as fast as you can just to stay in place, and much harder than that if you want to get anywhere. Also, where you can believe six impossible things before breakfast just for practice.

I'm sure the denialists will say that if we wait long enough and do nothing, all the ecological problems will solve themselves and every monster will be eaten by some other monster. But there's no guarantee that we will survive this any way you cut it. And each monster seems to be worse than the one it replaces. That too is Nature's Way.

On the other hand, we are experimenting every time we drive a car or fly in an airplane. To avoid spreading insects, you have to avoid automobiles and airplanes. You have to avoid moving from one apartment to another, carrying bags of groceries into your house without decontamination before opeing the airlock, and even walking.

In short, there is nothing the consumer can do to save the world. You can not save the world by shopping. You can not save the world by voting, even. The problems own the politicians, not vice versa.

And they say that humans can't affect the world? And they say that there's no point worrying about the environment or jobs or justice? They say what they please to get what they want, but in reality, the unintended consequences will kill them as surely as it kills the rest of us.

He who lives by the sword, shall die by the sword. Of such is the patience of the Saints.

Put on your running shoes. You have to get up to speed before the monster behind you catches you. That means running at least twice as hard as you can, and possibly exceeding the speed of light in a vacuum as you fire off all your guns and burst into space.

Still, I am an optimist and a liberal. I hope that while the world goes to Hell in a handcart that it will at least be an interesting ride. As Conservatives are wont to say, you are gonna get raped, so lie back and try to enjoy it. It makes it easier for the rapists that way. And the people who say this are the rapists, so it is important to them.
2013-05-17 01:28:41 PM
3 votes:
Well I for one welcome our new crazy ant overlords.
2013-05-17 02:32:14 PM
2 votes:

brantgoose: Welcome to the world of the Red Queen Ant, where you have to run as fast as you can just to stay in place, and much harder than that if you want to get anywhere.


i.imgur.com
 I love this post so much I read it again
2013-05-17 02:04:24 PM
2 votes:
Time to release the reasonable ants.
2013-05-17 01:58:34 PM
2 votes:
THIS IS HOW YOU GET ANTS, PEOPLE!
2013-05-17 01:53:12 PM
2 votes:
www.chikarapro.com
2013-05-17 01:52:27 PM
2 votes:

Truther: But - does their bite hurt as badly as a fire ant's?


They appear to be too small to bite people or sting them. However, they also apparently will invade the shiat out of your house, eat your electrical wiring, and swarm your kitchens and bathrooms to the point that you have sweep them up and dump them out with dustpans.

So, it's a choice between biting, stinging bastard ants that are relatively content to hang out in their "territory", or friendly non-biting ants that form a living, moving carpet in your house and sprinkle themselves in your food.
2013-05-17 01:52:04 PM
2 votes:
The ants are not attracted to ordinary ant baits, are not controlled by over-the-counter pesticides, and are harder to fully exterminate because their colonies have multiple queens.

si0.twimg.com
2013-05-17 01:47:35 PM
2 votes:

blatz514: boarch: tlchwi02: DubtodaIll: [img708.imageshack.us image 451x374]

man i love that game. still fun to play

what is it?

That's not important right now


You're just arguing simantics.
2013-05-17 01:44:37 PM
2 votes:

boarch: tlchwi02: DubtodaIll: [img708.imageshack.us image 451x374]

man i love that game. still fun to play

what is it?


That's not important right now
2013-05-17 01:41:19 PM
2 votes:
images.contentreserve.com
2013-05-17 01:30:59 PM
2 votes:
The crazy ants contain potassium benzoate.
2013-05-17 01:27:56 PM
2 votes:
And in the winter, the aardvarks freeze to death!
2013-05-17 01:27:14 PM
2 votes:

blatz514: What a crazy ant may look like...

[sas.guidespot.com image 290x387]



Are those her retirement beanie babies?
2013-05-17 01:26:06 PM
2 votes:
What a crazy ant may look like...

sas.guidespot.com
2013-05-17 05:41:36 PM
1 votes:

muck4doo: The bad thing is the fire ants and crazy ants are driving the Harvester Ants to extinction. When i was a kid I used to see harvester ants all over Texas. In the last 11 years I've only seen 2 harvester ant mounds. The Horny Toads depend on them for food. So, that is bad. At the same time, I also got the hell bit and stung out of me by harvester ants, so them being gone is also good, but not for the horny toads. Come to think of it, i haven't seen a horny toad since i was a kid either.


have you tried looking in the mirror?

/kidding
2013-05-17 04:34:35 PM
1 votes:

muck4doo: MythDragon: musicmanboston: CSB Time:

[Marine Core Story]

CSB Time over.

What is really awesome  about fire ants, is they don't sting right away. No sir. They move in, set up little ant camps, invite the folks over, and when the party is at full capacity, they chant "One.....Twoooooooo.....THREE!" and all start farking stinging at once. That's how you end up with an entire leg full of red swarming death instead of just one sting from the first ant to reach your ankle.
I grew up in Florida, so I know you pain. Also went to basic at Ft Jackson (otherwise know as 'fireant hill') Flutter kicks + fire ants = FFFFFUUUUUUU

/Not a fan of the flying farking cockroaches either, that dive bomb you in the face for turning on the lights. Or get back up after you stomp them like that roach in WALL-E

LOL! June Bugs?



No. Not June Bugs
These farkers
www.bugs.com

Otherwise known as a Florida Woods Roach. They don't scurry when you turn on the light. They walk over and turn it back off.
2013-05-17 03:37:00 PM
1 votes:
June bugs have to be the stupidest species on earth. At least ants have a purpose and seem to know what they are doing. June bugs fly into everything with a stupidity that no other creature possesses.
2013-05-17 03:25:09 PM
1 votes:
when fire ant mounds would start popping up at our property in east Texas, our dad would tell us to cruise around on the four wheelers and peel out on top of the mounds. Once that was done, we came back and got the fire ant poison and went back to all the mounds and poured on the poison. According to my dads logic, stirring the ants up would make them take poison faster. Not sure if if that did any good, but smart to combine something fun while getting some work/chores done.
2013-05-17 03:13:36 PM
1 votes:
"Hmm, the humans are too widely dispersed now for any one plague or famine to do much damage. How can I really fark with those assholes? I know, I'll develop a pest that eats their consumer electronics."

Nature, you magnificent bastard.
2013-05-17 03:07:29 PM
1 votes:
Billy Mac, the long-time AG reporter at WOAI told me how he dealt with fire ants. He'd get a shovel and scoop up one mound and drop it onto another, then watch as they battled to the death.
2013-05-17 03:02:12 PM
1 votes:
But enough about Texas Republicans...
2013-05-17 02:52:02 PM
1 votes:

TheDirtyNacho: blatz514: What a crazy ant may look like...

[sas.guidespot.com image 290x387]


Are those her retirement beanie babies?


Don't get me going!  I was supposed to be a millionaire by now!!!
2013-05-17 02:37:27 PM
1 votes:
Crazy seems to be replacing everything in the South.
2013-05-17 02:36:25 PM
1 votes:
csb: had a friend get hit by a flash flood near Houston while canoeing, as a teenager. He got dumped in the water and managed to hang on to the top of a tree at the surface. It was all he could do to hang on and keep his head above water.

And then a fire ant raft hit him. He still managed to hang on, but endured over 300 stings and had a pretty rough time with the allergic reaction following his rescue.
2013-05-17 02:29:55 PM
1 votes:

Jacob_Roberson: their spread can be limited if people are careful not to transport them inadvertently

Good luck with that. You're counting on large numbers of people to a) give a damn, b) not be jokers and do it intentionally, c) pay attention enough to even know, d) do all that in a concerted way. Good luck herding those cats.


My thoughts exactly. We have to rely on the citizens of states with high redneck-to-non-redneck ratios to be ever-vigilant about not transporting them in their vehicles inadvertently... and their potted plants, and rusted swing sets, broken appliances and any other piece of junk that sits for years outside their mobile home until the cops bust their cousin's meth lab in their shed and they suddenly need to move to be near relatives in another state.

So yeah, basically these ants are guaranteed to spread and we better learn to deal with that.
2013-05-17 02:05:08 PM
1 votes:

SoupJohnB: Maybe they should be declared as "illegal aliens" by Congress, subject to any current or potential immigration laws

/I know, I know; Get thee to the Politics Tab


But then they would steal all the jobs and get free drivers licenses... lol

But seriously, I see this as a good thing because THEY DON'T BITE LIKE THE FIREANTS!!!

I HATE Fireant bites. Little bastards go everywhere too. They don't just stay "peacefully in the mound" like the article says... and there's an easy double entendre.
2013-05-17 01:57:16 PM
1 votes:
Release wave-after-wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll take care of the problem.
2013-05-17 01:54:00 PM
1 votes:

The All-Powerful Atheismo: blatz514: boarch: tlchwi02: DubtodaIll: [img708.imageshack.us image 451x374]

man i love that game. still fun to play

what is it?

That's not important right now

You're just arguing simantics.


It's all part of being pedantic.
2013-05-17 01:53:37 PM
1 votes:
Ants are bugs... I hate bugs! Bugs drive me crazy... Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room with padded walls. I died there, and they buried me in the ground, with bugs. Bugs? I hate bugs! Bugs drive me crazy... Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room with padded walls. I died there, and they buried me in the ground, with bugs. Bugs? I hate bugs! Bugs drive me crazy...

/repeat until cockpunched
2013-05-17 01:47:05 PM
1 votes:
Cray Cray Ants
2013-05-17 01:41:55 PM
1 votes:
upload.wikimedia.org
2013-05-17 01:41:34 PM
1 votes:

B.L.Z. Bub: jehovahs witness protection: My uncle got rid of my crazy aunt before she could do permanent damage.

Hahaha...NO. The correct pronunciation of "aunt" is "ahnt", so that joke does not work. But nice try.


But for the rest of us who pronounce "aunt" as "ant", it's funny.
2013-05-17 01:40:25 PM
1 votes:

B.L.Z. Bub: jehovahs witness protection: My uncle got rid of my crazy aunt before she could do permanent damage.

Hahaha...NO. The correct pronunciation of "aunt" is "ahnt", so that joke does not work. But nice try.


You aunt serious, are you?
2013-05-17 01:35:26 PM
1 votes:

Dimensio: Crazy ants.

Crants.


Thants.
2013-05-17 01:30:32 PM
1 votes:
The original:
4.bp.blogspot.com
2013-05-17 01:29:48 PM
1 votes:
media.screened.com
 
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