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(Cosmopolitan)   And here are Cosmo's 31 most sexually arousing movies of all time. No, they didn't list porn...well, other than Top Gun with its volleyball scene   (cosmopolitan.com) divider line 105
    More: Amusing, Top Gun, Richard Gere, Ryan Gosling, Patrick Swayze, Dirty Dancing, undress  
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7202 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 17 May 2013 at 9:07 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-17 09:11:19 AM  
 
2013-05-17 09:14:45 AM  
Fails without the '99 version of "The Thomas Crown Affair" and Rene Russo in that dress.

Also fails without Rachel Ward all sweaty with the Dude in "Against All Odds".
 
2013-05-17 09:15:51 AM  
 
2013-05-17 09:17:28 AM  
Annnnnd it hit a big old fail early on by including Twilight. There are a lot of sexy movies on there, but I'm going to have to call lame on this list.
 
2013-05-17 09:17:40 AM  
Guess they've never seen 'Bound'...
 
2013-05-17 09:20:13 AM  
Diane Lane. 'Nuff said.
 
2013-05-17 09:20:43 AM  

peachpicker: Guess they've never seen 'Bound'...


I've only seen about 5 minutes of Bound....but what a five minutes.
 
2013-05-17 09:21:29 AM  

PizzaJedi81: peachpicker: Guess they've never seen 'Bound'...

I've only seen about 5 minutes of Bound....but what a five minutes.


That movie is more then 15 minutes long? Huh. Hadn't heard.
 
2013-05-17 09:21:52 AM  
No 300? No Watchmen?

www.allmystery.de
 
2013-05-17 09:23:00 AM  
Oh and one I know they've left off their list (because man oh man did it work out for me and the Mrs):

i43.tower.com

/kevin bacon = FAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
 
2013-05-17 09:24:30 AM  
anneheche.free.fr

Specifically for the Joan Chen/Anne Heche scenes.

/Walken playing a psycho mob boss as a bonus.
 
2013-05-17 09:26:03 AM  

MichiganFTL: No 300? No Watchmen?

[www.allmystery.de image 600x300]


Some of the best sex my wife and I ever had was after watching 300, so...yeah, there's that.
 
2013-05-17 09:27:28 AM  
Um, Secretary?
 
2013-05-17 09:27:51 AM  

Snapper Carr: [anneheche.free.fr image 333x475]

Specifically for the Joan Chen/Anne Heche scenes.

/Walken playing a psycho mob boss as a bonus.


Nice.

Got to get the UR version for those scenes though.

Want to know why Anne Heche thought she was gay for a few years? This movie is EXACTLY why.
 
2013-05-17 09:29:31 AM  
Damn that was a very pink website.
List fails without Calvaire
 
2013-05-17 09:34:19 AM  
Eyes Wide Shut did not give me a chubby, it made me uncomfortable
 
2013-05-17 09:35:22 AM  
Pretty sure the average Farkers idea of sexy and the average Cosmopolitan reader's idea of sexy are bound to be radically different.

That said, list fails without Team America.
 
2013-05-17 09:38:04 AM  
starsmedia.ign.com

That's Cosmo. He's Chinese.
 
2013-05-17 09:49:08 AM  
No the dreamers? Yeah that was one stupid farking list. Really? Farking twilight?
 
2013-05-17 09:52:32 AM  
No Schindler's List on the list?
 
2013-05-17 09:55:17 AM  
Name of the Rose. You know the scene. I think it leaves most people breathless. Bonus: Christian Slater was 15 at the time.
 
2013-05-17 10:02:49 AM  
oooh, I got one. Funny Games. The American version. The scene where Naomi Watts is forced to disrobe in front of her kid. Hard as a rock.
 
2013-05-17 10:05:07 AM  
cdn-8.nflximg.com

This has some sexy scenes too.
 
2013-05-17 10:05:51 AM  
I swear I'm the only person who was not aroused by 9 1/2 Weeks.  Felt like borderline sadism, apparently that doesn't work for me.  And the food scene felt overly-contrived.

Do need to check out some of the other movies on the list that I missed - I do enjoy Patrick Wilson.
 
2013-05-17 10:06:08 AM  
Sienna Miller dancing in Layer Cake always makes me happy. No nudity, but sexy as all hell.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzmPQCNkbko


Also, anything Gina Gershon is in. She has a lifetime achievement award.
 
2013-05-17 10:06:21 AM  
They listed History of Violence and indicate that she jumped him on the stairs.

I don't think the writer saw the movie, Or maybe recalled the cheerleading outfit scene.
 
2013-05-17 10:08:55 AM  
Two Moon Junction

Bitter Harvest

The Last Seduction

list fails
 
2013-05-17 10:13:18 AM  
Sadly missing Henry & June, and Sex & Lucia
 
2013-05-17 10:14:34 AM  

Crewmannumber6: Eyes Wide Shut did not give me a chubby, it made me uncomfortable


EWS wasn't sexy; it was just somewhat boring.
 
2013-05-17 10:16:08 AM  
Cosmo? Sexy? I didn't even know there were movies about UFIAing your man, or giving him Indian burns on the peener.
 
2013-05-17 10:17:53 AM  

LDM90: ng him Indian burns on the peener.


Well, what am I gonna do with this hard on now?
 
2013-05-17 10:20:16 AM  
That list just shortened my sex life by ten minutes.

How can a list of sexually arousing movies not involve Jenny Agutter?

And fark The Notebook.
 
2013-05-17 10:21:13 AM  
In all seriousness, just frickin get Cinemax, put some stuff on your DVR and there ya go. Or just get real porn.

Whichever might work best for your SO.

I mean, some of these movies are awesome, don;t get me wrong. I'm just saying if you want sexy time, just tell her "Hey, let's have sexy time watching THIS stuff."

Unless you married a prude. Then sorry about that.
 
2013-05-17 10:31:31 AM  

TheLopper: Sienna Miller dancing in Layer Cake always makes me happy. No nudity, but sexy as all hell.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzmPQCNkbko



The cigarette is an automatic turnoff for me. Some guys like that stuff, but it's not my bag, baby.
 
2013-05-17 10:36:03 AM  

roughridersfan: TheLopper: Sienna Miller dancing in Layer Cake always makes me happy. No nudity, but sexy as all hell.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzmPQCNkbko


The cigarette is an automatic turnoff for me. Some guys like that stuff, but it's not my bag, baby.


Good, more cancer whores for the rest of us.
 
2013-05-17 10:43:13 AM  

Dwight_Yeast: Crewmannumber6: Eyes Wide Shut did not give me a chubby, it made me uncomfortable

EWS wasn't sexy; it was just somewhat boring.


I like it, but I'm surely not going to propose that it's one of the thirty-one most arousing movies of all time.

Or even arousing, although Nicole certainly is lovely.
 
2013-05-17 10:43:26 AM  

Crewmannumber6: Eyes Wide Shut did not give me a chubby, it made me uncomfortable

yawn.

FTFM
 
2013-05-17 10:45:15 AM  

TheLopper: Sienna Miller dancing in Layer Cake always makes me happy. No nudity, but sexy as all hell.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzmPQCNkbko


Also, anything Gina Gershon is in. She has a lifetime achievement award.


Sienna Miller made Keene Eddie watchable.
 
2013-05-17 10:47:58 AM  
Cant see the list at work.

But I hope these made it.

Jade
9 1/2 weeks
 
2013-05-17 10:49:08 AM  
Fellow Seattlites will know what I mean.

cdn.crooksandliars.com

/What's weak this week?
 
2013-05-17 10:56:22 AM  
Jamie lee curtis doing the striptease in true lies is pretty hot. Also elizabeth shue's lap dance in leaving las vegas.

/dnrtfa
 
2013-05-17 11:04:39 AM  
Ahhh yes, Unfaithful.  Every Cosmo-reading suburban housewife's wet dream.
 
2013-05-17 11:06:35 AM  
List fails without the opening sex scene in "I spit on your grave"
 
2013-05-17 11:11:44 AM  

KJUW89: I swear I'm the only person who was not aroused by 9 1/2 Weeks.  Felt like borderline sadism, apparently that doesn't work for me.  And the food scene felt overly-contrived.

Do need to check out some of the other movies on the list that I missed - I do enjoy Patrick Wilson.


Nope - you aren't the only one.  It was an S&M thing, but it just was all WTH for me.

And 'Fear'?  Really?  The whole 'He's psychotic' thing just killed any attempts at sexy.
 
2013-05-17 11:11:52 AM  
For guys? Heatbreakers. And no, I'm not talkin bout Sigourney folks.

www.hollywoodjesus.com
 
2013-05-17 11:12:30 AM  

Gunderson: List fails without the opening sex scene in "I spit on your grave"


Dude, that movie (the original) was farked up in so many ways.

Wireless Joe: Fellow Seattlites will know what I mean.

[cdn.crooksandliars.com image 460x380]

/What's weak this week?


Almost Live was great!
 
2013-05-17 11:14:55 AM  
Dirty Dancing = about statutory rape, come on.  Fun, but a little creepy.
Pretty Woman = utterly ridiculous prostitute love story.  Vacuous un-sexy crap.
Cruel Intentions = sociopathic, emotionally sadistic teens.  Total boner shrinker.
Twilight = ... farking Twilight.  No.
Mulholland Drive = one scene of lesbian action, 2 hours of David Lynch cinematically masturbating in your face.
Y Tu Mama Tambien... ok they get this one.  That was farking hot.

Not really a good list, obviously.
 
2013-05-17 11:20:23 AM  
They list Cruel Intentions instead of Dangerous Liaisons? That is all I need to know about the quality of this list.
 
2013-05-17 11:22:58 AM  

No Such Agency: Cruel Intentions =

The best on-screen girl-girl kiss ever filmed.

/FTFY
 
2013-05-17 11:27:15 AM  
What ? No "Boxing Helena"?
 
2013-05-17 11:29:56 AM  

roughridersfan: TheLopper: Sienna Miller dancing in Layer Cake always makes me happy. No nudity, but sexy as all hell.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzmPQCNkbko


The cigarette is an automatic turnoff for me. Some guys like that stuff, but it's not my bag, baby.


Oh, I'm not a fan of it either, but it sort of adds to the overall vibe of her character.
 
2013-05-17 11:31:21 AM  

No Such Agency: Mulholland Drive = one scene of lesbian action, 2 hours of David Lynch cinematically masturbating in your face


There is actually a really good story in there. I know most people don't get it...especially on the first, and sometimes only, viewing. But trust me, once it "clicks"....you realize just how good it is.

\and even if you just can't follow it, hey...it's worth another watch just for "that" scene alone.
 
2013-05-17 11:35:39 AM  

JohnnyCanuck: No Such Agency: Mulholland Drive = one scene of lesbian action, 2 hours of David Lynch cinematically masturbating in your face

There is actually a really good story in there. I know most people don't get it...especially on the first, and sometimes only, viewing. But trust me, once it "clicks"....you realize just how good it is.

\and even if you just can't follow it, hey...it's worth another watch just for "that" scene alone.


And the silencio scene. I liked that scene so much I watched the movie again. Then I understood it.
 
2013-05-17 11:35:41 AM  
JohnnyCanuck:
There is actually a really good story in there. I know most people don't get it...especially on the first, and sometimes only, viewing. But trust me, once it "clicks"....you realize just how good it is.

Oh I know, but it's not like it's two hours of pure sexy.  It's a Lynch film, we all know what to expect.

Copperbelly watersnake:
They list Cruel Intentions instead of Dangerous Liaisons? This is from the same magazine that runs the same ridiculous "sex tips" every four months?That is all I need to know about the quality of this list.

FTFY...
 
2013-05-17 11:39:16 AM  
Was it geeky of me to first read that as "Cosmos 31 most sexually arousing movies"?

rammb.cira.colostate.edu

Have I discovered a new fetish subset called satellite porn?
 
2013-05-17 11:39:20 AM  

thecpt: JohnnyCanuck: No Such Agency: Mulholland Drive = one scene of lesbian action, 2 hours of David Lynch cinematically masturbating in your face

There is actually a really good story in there. I know most people don't get it...especially on the first, and sometimes only, viewing. But trust me, once it "clicks"....you realize just how good it is.

\and even if you just can't follow it, hey...it's worth another watch just for "that" scene alone.

And the silencio scene. I liked that scene so much I watched the movie again. Then I understood it.


my wife and i have a tough time trying to decide whether the spanish version or roy orbison's version of crying is better.  both are good, but for very different reasons.
 
2013-05-17 11:40:20 AM  

Gulper Eel: Fails without the '99 version of "The Thomas Crown Affair" and Rene Russo in that dress.


THIS

I'll also have Out of Sight and Bull Durham.
 
2013-05-17 11:42:08 AM  

JohnnyCanuck: No Such Agency: Mulholland Drive = one scene of lesbian action, 2 hours of David Lynch cinematically masturbating in your face

There is actually a really good story in there. I know most people don't get it...especially on the first, and sometimes only, viewing. But trust me, once it "clicks"....you realize just how good it is.


and if you still don't get it after multiple viewings, check this out: Everything you were afraid to ask about "Mulholland Drive"
 
2013-05-17 11:43:36 AM  
No "I Spit On Your Grave"?

List fails.
 
2013-05-17 11:49:26 AM  

JohnnyCanuck: No Such Agency: Mulholland Drive = one scene of lesbian action, 2 hours of David Lynch cinematically masturbating in your face

There is actually a really good story in there. I know most people don't get it...especially on the first, and sometimes only, viewing. But trust me, once it "clicks"....you realize just how good it is.

\and even if you just can't follow it, hey...it's worth another watch just for "that" scene alone.


Mullholland Drive always seemed like his most straightforward film - it only requires a couple of viewings to tease out the plot and most of the symbolism (there's still some pretty hinky stuff that eludes me to this day but that's part of the fun of a David Lynch film).

And oddly enough, I really don't find that scene very arousing - maybe because I've seen it so many times that all the ugliness surrounding it sort of kills it - kind of like the last part of Irreversible: 15 minutes of nude Monica Belluci should set any red blooded straight male off but by the time you get to that point you're just completely traumatized.
 
2013-05-17 11:58:41 AM  

pute kisses like a man: thecpt: JohnnyCanuck: No Such Agency: Mulholland Drive = one scene of lesbian action, 2 hours of David Lynch cinematically masturbating in your face

There is actually a really good story in there. I know most people don't get it...especially on the first, and sometimes only, viewing. But trust me, once it "clicks"....you realize just how good it is.

\and even if you just can't follow it, hey...it's worth another watch just for "that" scene alone.

And the silencio scene. I liked that scene so much I watched the movie again. Then I understood it.

my wife and i have a tough time trying to decide whether the spanish version or roy orbison's version of crying is better.  both are good, but for very different reasons.


Never heard Roy til now (I'm young for this site). Holy crap that is good.
 
2013-05-17 11:59:42 AM  

thecpt: And the silencio scene. I liked that scene so much I watched the movie again. Then I understood it.


Yeah...that is the turning point scene. That is when you should start realizing exactly what is happening.

Snapper Carr: And oddly enough, I really don't find that scene very arousing


First time I got my GF to watch it with me she had no idea what was going on in the movie...but at that scene she told me it was really arousing for her...and she's really not into that kind of thing. After we watched it a second time and I helped her along with the plot she then said that scene made her kind of sad.
 
2013-05-17 12:01:07 PM  
"Blue Velvet" is also awesome. Another great Roy cover in that one that sets the tone for the plot.
 
2013-05-17 12:04:37 PM  
No Teletubbies: The Movie? FAIL
 
2013-05-17 12:22:37 PM  
One or two good sex scenes does not make an entire movie sexy. To me a sexy movie is one that exudes sexuality throughout. One of the best examples that comes to mind is Swimming Pool.
 
2013-05-17 12:35:02 PM  

thecpt: No the dreamers? Yeah that was one stupid farking list. Really? Farking twilight?


I haven't stopped masturbating since I saw the dreamers. Holy hell.

Also Henry and June.
 
2013-05-17 12:35:42 PM  
old timer here. Give them credit for remembering"Body Heat."
I did'nt even think of that one.
And yes, we all woulda thrown that chair thru the door to get at a young Kathleen Turner.
 
2013-05-17 12:46:01 PM  

johnny queso: thecpt: No the dreamers? Yeah that was one stupid farking list. Really? Farking twilight?

I haven't stopped masturbating since I saw the dreamers. Holy hell.

Also Henry and June.


Sadly, her role as Vesper wasn't nearly as enlightening.
 
2013-05-17 12:48:56 PM  

Hugo Zorilla: No "I Spit On Your Grave"?

List fails.


*Off to teh netflix*
 
2013-05-17 12:49:44 PM  
What about Freaks?

/or is it just me?
 
2013-05-17 12:54:38 PM  

KJUW89: I swear I'm the only person who was not aroused by 9 1/2 Weeks.  Felt like borderline sadism, apparently that doesn't work for me.  And the food scene felt overly-contrived.

Do need to check out some of the other movies on the list that I missed - I do enjoy Patrick Wilson.


It was about S & M.  Or, an unhealthy, mommy-porn approximation of what vanillas think S & M is. The book is even worse.
 
2013-05-17 01:01:49 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: KJUW89: I swear I'm the only person who was not aroused by 9 1/2 Weeks.  Felt like borderline sadism, apparently that doesn't work for me.  And the food scene felt overly-contrived.

Do need to check out some of the other movies on the list that I missed - I do enjoy Patrick Wilson.

It was about S & M.  Or, an unhealthy, mommy-porn approximation of what vanillas think S & M is. The book is even worse.


My problem is that movie is I was FINALLY gonna see some black lesbian softcore action.

And then they LIED to me and it never really happened.

There is not enough black lesbian softcore action. Even that Cinemax show that features 95% black people doesn;t have lesbian stuff.

/disgruntled
 
2013-05-17 01:02:49 PM  

madgonad: johnny queso: thecpt: No the dreamers? Yeah that was one stupid farking list. Really? Farking twilight?

I haven't stopped masturbating since I saw the dreamers. Holy hell.

Also Henry and June.

Sadly, her role as Vesper wasn't nearly as enlightening.


Eva Green's naked body is permanently imprinted on my brain. She is one stunning woman.
 
2013-05-17 01:34:11 PM  
Danger zooooooooone....
 
2013-05-17 01:37:41 PM  
Evil Dead not on there? Fail.
 
2013-05-17 01:38:20 PM  

Dwight_Yeast: Crewmannumber6: Eyes Wide Shut did not give me a chubby, it made me uncomfortable

EWS wasn't sexy; it was just somewhat boring.


came here to disparage EWS.

somewhat boring? if by "somewhat" you mean "very". not sexy or erotic at all.

also, Pretty Woman? perhaps they don't realize in that movie Julia Roberts played a whore.

and if they say, yeah but then she's saved by prince charming...

yeah, prince charming who likes to pick up whores.

women who read Cosmo, this is why the rest of us don't respect you.

Pretty Woman? *swoon*

Real life cocktail party: how'd you two meet? Oh, she was a street walker and I was her best client. *puke*
 
2013-05-17 02:08:16 PM  

mcmnky: Real life cocktail party: how'd you two meet? Oh, she was a street walker and I was her best client. *puke*



Yeah...Dave Chappelle's version was way more accurate...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHT2DauIdOg
 
2013-05-17 02:17:31 PM  
No Last Tango in Paris?


Somebody forgot about 'the butta'.
 
2013-05-17 02:18:10 PM  
Twilight? Really? REALLY?

Go f*ck yourself, Cosmo!
 
2013-05-17 02:26:50 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: Oh and one I know they've left off their list (because man oh man did it work out for me and the Mrs):

[i43.tower.com image 200x283]

/kevin bacon = FAAAAAAAAAAAAAP


They left out Wild Things? Are you farking kidding me?
 
2013-05-17 02:54:01 PM  

Trocadero: Jim from Saint Paul: Oh and one I know they've left off their list (because man oh man did it work out for me and the Mrs):

[i43.tower.com image 200x283]

/kevin bacon = FAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

They left out Wild Things? Are you farking kidding me?


Post 1 has the non-slidehow/popup version of the list. Everything on one page.

And yes they did.
 
2013-05-17 03:04:26 PM  
Unfaithful. Diane Lane, yum.
 
2013-05-17 04:00:04 PM  
what about 'It's a Mad Mad Mad World' ? - gets me wet every time
 
2013-05-17 04:37:02 PM  
Came here for Showgirls....
 
2013-05-17 05:14:00 PM  
 
2013-05-17 05:36:44 PM  

johnny queso: madgonad: johnny queso: thecpt: No the dreamers? Yeah that was one stupid farking list. Really? Farking twilight?

I haven't stopped masturbating since I saw the dreamers. Holy hell.

Also Henry and June.

Sadly, her role as Vesper wasn't nearly as enlightening.

Eva Green's naked body is permanently imprinted on my brain. She is one stunning woman.


There should be an entire side of a building that permanently serves as a mural of her scenes from that movie.  Barring that, just her, period.

/JESUS TITTY-FARKING CHRIST, Eva Green is mesmerizing
//what good can come from a Eva Green/Salma Hayek/Scarlett Johansson lesbian threesome?
///SCIENCE DEMANDS ANSWERS
 
2013-05-17 05:48:31 PM  

DrZiffle: What about Freaks?

/or is it just me?


It's not JUST you but it's a pretty small number.

/Not including me.
 
2013-05-17 05:59:00 PM  

YoOjo: roughridersfan: TheLopper: Sienna Miller dancing in Layer Cake always makes me happy. No nudity, but sexy as all hell.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzmPQCNkbko

The cigarette is an automatic turnoff for me. Some guys like that stuff, but it's not my bag, baby.

Good, more cancer whores for the rest of us.


There are women who will have sex for cancer?


farkeruk: Gulper Eel: Fails without the '99 version of "The Thomas Crown Affair" and Rene Russo in that dress.

THIS

I'll also have Out of Sight and Bull Durham.


Seconded on "Out of Sight". Best movie JLo has ever been in (I know that's not saying much).
 
2013-05-17 06:02:02 PM  

PizzaJedi81: Annnnnd it hit a big old fail early on by including Twilight. There are a lot of sexy movies on there, but I'm going to have to call lame on this list.


And it was ranked just behind Little Children.  Seriously, one involves Kate Winslet moaning at the top of her lungs while getting righteously plowed on a table, the other involves two expressionless people covered from the neck down twisting some sheets.  Hey ladies, you know that whole "mixed messages" problem guys are always talking about?
 
2013-05-17 06:20:41 PM  
List fails without that scene in Alien when that thing burst out of his chest--I almost popped myself right there in the theater....
 
2013-05-17 06:38:13 PM  
List Fails without Chose Secrets. French film, so that should be a clue.
 
2013-05-17 06:56:42 PM  
A crappy list from Cosmo?

Must be a day that ends in "y"!
 
2013-05-17 07:44:03 PM  
They left out "No Way Out" with a somewhat sane Sean and hot Kevin?  List fail by order of magnitude.
 
2013-05-17 07:58:11 PM  
List Fail:  No Last Tango in Paris or The Postman Always Rings Twice
 
2013-05-17 08:09:35 PM  
No "Shortbus"?

Once again I say "List fails".
 
2013-05-17 08:31:18 PM  
No Watership Down? List fails!
 
2013-05-17 09:36:44 PM  
Side boob Fail...


isabellserafin.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-17 11:05:46 PM  
 
2013-05-18 01:56:09 AM  
What no Joe and T-Rex from Orgazmo?
 
2013-05-18 01:57:17 AM  
Desert Hearts
 
2013-05-18 02:38:16 AM  

therecksays: What no Joe and T-Rex from Orgazmo?


So hot...
 
2013-05-18 02:52:13 AM  
NSFW

Apropos.
 
2013-05-18 09:49:58 AM  
No "Sliver?" WTF?
 
2013-05-18 11:50:40 AM  

ChubbyTiger: Um, Secretary?


My thoughts exactly. My gods that was a hot movie.
 
2013-05-18 12:30:51 PM  

Jim from Saint Paul: Hugo Zorilla: No "I Spit On Your Grave"?

List fails.

*Off to teh netflix*


You're about to find out that he is a horrible person.
 
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