Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Sun Sentinel)   Smart: Man recently busted for DUI got drunk again but took a cab home. FARK: He passed out in the cab, had no money for the fare and wet his pants. Back to jail   ( divider line
    More: Florida, taxiing  
•       •       •

1514 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2013 at 9:59 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-05-17 10:33:12 AM  
4 votes:
Im going to tell a story that gives a pretty good picture of what it was like to grow up with my group of friends in Austin in the 90's.  DRTFA, but the headline reminded me of it.

We all went to a house party who was being thrown by a girl we did not know. There was about 10 of us. A friend of ours had to take a crap really bad and he asked the female owner where he could use the bathroom with some privacy.  She generously tells him "you can go in my master bedroom bathroom.".  He proceeds to lock her bedroom door and like any of us would do, he immediately rummages through her panties, takes a dump, removes his underwear, puts on a pair of her g-string panties and puts his pants back on. Of course he doesnt tell anyone, because ya know-- who would? Well, the cops come to the party, shut it down and the entire party decides to go "downtown" (sixth street) to a bar everyone frequented.  At this time, our friend had gotten pretty drunk.  While at the bar, the girls get on top of the bar and begin to dance, so our friend with the covert panties gets on top of the bar along with them and decides to take off his pants exposing himself in the g-string he stole from the host of the party's panty drawer.  The girl, who is with her boyfriend, recognizes her panties on my friend and tells her boyfriend about them apparently being stolen from her bedroom.  Her boyfriend starts a fight with my friend, the fight rolls out of the bar and into the street.  My friend had removed his shirt to fight (leaving him only in his shoes and a g-string) and the cops come to break up the fight.  The cops hear the story and decide the bigger asshole is my friend and they take him to jail- in nothing but a g-string and his shoes.

He goes to jail with balls hanging out of the tiny panties while extremely drunk, gets charged with public intoxication, gets released at about 7AM.  He walks to his truck with his jail uniform on (they let him go in it because he only had a g-string).  He realizes he is still drunk while walking to his truck and thinks to himself "I dont want a cop to see me driving in this orange jumpsuit because he will think I escaped from jail and pull me over".  So, he gets in his truck, takes off the jumpsuit and throws it in a trashcan out of his driver's side window and proceeds to begin to drive himself home drunk.  Directly in front of the police station, he runs a red light.  Wearing nothing but his panties, he gets pulled over and gets arrested after being free from jail for about 10 minutes for a DWI.
2013-05-17 12:43:28 PM  
1 vote:
Yet another reason I don't wear pants.
Displayed 2 of 2 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.

In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.