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(Sun Sentinel)   Smart: Man recently busted for DUI got drunk again but took a cab home. FARK: He passed out in the cab, had no money for the fare and wet his pants. Back to jail   (sun-sentinel.com) divider line 20
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1475 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2013 at 9:59 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-17 10:02:06 AM
I've never been so drunk that I peed myself.  And I went to a hard-drinking college, and spent two years in Russia.  Man up, dude.
 
2013-05-17 10:02:23 AM
Tada!
 
2013-05-17 10:08:51 AM
I hate when that happens.
 
2013-05-17 10:15:04 AM
Good thing that we've got plenty of jails to hold people like this. Shame we don't have plenty of addiction counseling programs. But there's no profit in those.
 
2013-05-17 10:17:29 AM

FrancoFile: I've never been so drunk that I peed myself.  And I went to a hard-drinking college, and spent two years in Russia.  Man up, dude.


Then you haven't truly lived.
 
2013-05-17 10:20:04 AM

Theaetetus: Good thing that we've got plenty of jails to hold people like this. Shame we don't have plenty of addiction counseling programs. But there's no profit in those.


Alcoholics Anonymous is free.  Some how I don't think this idiot would go.
 
2013-05-17 10:33:12 AM
Im going to tell a story that gives a pretty good picture of what it was like to grow up with my group of friends in Austin in the 90's.  DRTFA, but the headline reminded me of it.

We all went to a house party who was being thrown by a girl we did not know. There was about 10 of us. A friend of ours had to take a crap really bad and he asked the female owner where he could use the bathroom with some privacy.  She generously tells him "you can go in my master bedroom bathroom.".  He proceeds to lock her bedroom door and like any of us would do, he immediately rummages through her panties, takes a dump, removes his underwear, puts on a pair of her g-string panties and puts his pants back on. Of course he doesnt tell anyone, because ya know-- who would? Well, the cops come to the party, shut it down and the entire party decides to go "downtown" (sixth street) to a bar everyone frequented.  At this time, our friend had gotten pretty drunk.  While at the bar, the girls get on top of the bar and begin to dance, so our friend with the covert panties gets on top of the bar along with them and decides to take off his pants exposing himself in the g-string he stole from the host of the party's panty drawer.  The girl, who is with her boyfriend, recognizes her panties on my friend and tells her boyfriend about them apparently being stolen from her bedroom.  Her boyfriend starts a fight with my friend, the fight rolls out of the bar and into the street.  My friend had removed his shirt to fight (leaving him only in his shoes and a g-string) and the cops come to break up the fight.  The cops hear the story and decide the bigger asshole is my friend and they take him to jail- in nothing but a g-string and his shoes.

He goes to jail with balls hanging out of the tiny panties while extremely drunk, gets charged with public intoxication, gets released at about 7AM.  He walks to his truck with his jail uniform on (they let him go in it because he only had a g-string).  He realizes he is still drunk while walking to his truck and thinks to himself "I dont want a cop to see me driving in this orange jumpsuit because he will think I escaped from jail and pull me over".  So, he gets in his truck, takes off the jumpsuit and throws it in a trashcan out of his driver's side window and proceeds to begin to drive himself home drunk.  Directly in front of the police station, he runs a red light.  Wearing nothing but his panties, he gets pulled over and gets arrested after being free from jail for about 10 minutes for a DWI.
 
2013-05-17 10:36:48 AM

born_yesterday: FrancoFile: I've never been so drunk that I peed myself.  And I went to a hard-drinking college, and spent two years in Russia.  Man up, dude.

Then you haven't truly lived.


CSB

In college I had a friend who'd get so blindingly drunk that he'd occasionally pull the full trifecta: pee, poop and puke. One time I got called to get him from a bar: either be there in 15 minutes to get him or we're calling the cops. So I went and got him out of the bar, threw him into the back of my pickup truck and drove him home. During the ride he did all three in the back. The next day I made him wash my truck, fill the gas tank and buy me lunch.

/He's now a police detective
 
2013-05-17 10:38:16 AM
I assumed this was going to be another Titus Young Sr article.

//Leaving disappointed.
 
2013-05-17 10:53:46 AM
I'm surprised the cabby didn't leave him on the beach at low tide.
 
2013-05-17 10:55:41 AM
.... and spent two years in Russia

This carries great authority. Our Russian friends know more about such things than we'll ever know...

On topic: I've had friends defecate their drawers, puke fountains, etc. - but only had 2 folks pee themselves (both female) - weird....
 
2013-05-17 11:02:53 AM
As I read this I imagined Jim Leyhe wetting himself and Phil Collins driving the cab.  There's a shiat cab here Bobandy...
 
2013-05-17 11:03:01 AM

poe_zlaw: Im going to tell a story that gives a pretty good picture of what it was like to grow up with my group of friends in Austin in the 90's.  DRTFA, but the headline reminded me of it.


10/10, good story.  Laughed my ass off.
 
2013-05-17 11:24:11 AM
One time on a marching band road trip, one our band marcher stumbled up to me and desperately asked me where the bathroom was.  As I was looking around trying to find it, he said "Oh....never mind."

He pee'd himself right there in the hotel lobby.

It got better.  As we were escorting him up the elevator to his room, he leaned forward against the elevator door, we assumed to steady himself.  Nope.  When the doors opened, he fell like a tree - he'd passed out while on his feet.

Good times.  Good times.......
 
2013-05-17 11:33:30 AM
Has anyone here ever pissed their girlfriend's laundry hamper, thinking it was the toilet?  I have a friend who did that.  5-6 times.
 
2013-05-17 12:16:56 PM

Theaetetus: Good thing that we've got plenty of jails to hold people like this. Shame we don't have plenty of addiction counseling programs. But there's no profit in those.


Right, 'cause Big Jail is a moneymaking juggernaut...
 
2013-05-17 12:43:28 PM
Yet another reason I don't wear pants.
 
2013-05-17 12:45:55 PM

poe_zlaw: Im going to tell a story that gives a pretty good picture of what it was like to grow up with my group of friends in Austin in the 90's.  DRTFA, but the headline reminded me of it.

We all went to a house party who was being thrown by a girl we did not know. There was about 10 of us. A friend of ours had to take a crap really bad and he asked the female owner where he could use the bathroom with some privacy.  She generously tells him "you can go in my master bedroom bathroom.".  He proceeds to lock her bedroom door and like any of us would do, he immediately rummages through her panties, takes a dump, removes his underwear, puts on a pair of her g-string panties and puts his pants back on. Of course he doesnt tell anyone, because ya know-- who would? Well, the cops come to the party, shut it down and the entire party decides to go "downtown" (sixth street) to a bar everyone frequented.  At this time, our friend had gotten pretty drunk.  While at the bar, the girls get on top of the bar and begin to dance, so our friend with the covert panties gets on top of the bar along with them and decides to take off his pants exposing himself in the g-string he stole from the host of the party's panty drawer.  The girl, who is with her boyfriend, recognizes her panties on my friend and tells her boyfriend about them apparently being stolen from her bedroom.  Her boyfriend starts a fight with my friend, the fight rolls out of the bar and into the street.  My friend had removed his shirt to fight (leaving him only in his shoes and a g-string) and the cops come to break up the fight.  The cops hear the story and decide the bigger asshole is my friend and they take him to jail- in nothing but a g-string and his shoes.

He goes to jail with balls hanging out of the tiny panties while extremely drunk, gets charged with public intoxication, gets released at about 7AM.  He walks to his truck with his jail uniform on (they let him go in it because he only had a g-string).  He realizes ...


It was you, wasn't it?
 
2013-05-17 01:00:40 PM

bump: .... and spent two years in Russia

This carries great authority. Our Russian friends know more about such things than we'll ever know...

On topic: I've had friends defecate their drawers, puke fountains, etc. - but only had 2 folks pee themselves (both female) - weird....


Building business relationships in the US: Golf, box seats to a baseball, football, or basketball game, maybe a strip club.

Building business relationships in Russia: 2 guys and a bottle of vodak.  If you haven't come to a handshake agreement or an epiphany about the project after you finish the vodak, you open a bottle of brandy and do shots of that.
 
2013-05-17 03:19:40 PM
Wait, I thought we didn't have debtor's prison anymore.
 
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