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(Denver Channel)   After a night of drinking, woman successfully shows how her brand new assault rifle works. Since you're reading this on Fark, you can predict what happened   (thedenverchannel.com) divider line 44
    More: Dumbass, assault rifles, Denver Health  
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11058 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2013 at 1:29 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-05-17 01:40:56 AM
6 votes:

NewportBarGuy: There is no such thing as an assault rifle.


"911"
"HELP MY WIFE SHOT HERSELF IN THE HEAD WITH HER ASSAULT RIFLE!"
"sir that's impossible, there is no such thing as an assault rifle"
"you hear that honey? everything will be okay"
"yey*wharrblgrbl*"
2013-05-17 01:34:43 AM
6 votes:
FTA: Anastasia Adair, a new an ex gun enthusiast, went upstairs to a bedroom get her recently purchased assault rifle

FTFM
2013-05-17 01:31:33 AM
5 votes:

NewportBarGuy: There is no such thing as an assault rifle.


oh good then I guess that makes her alive then.
2013-05-17 01:31:02 AM
5 votes:
He fixes the cable?
2013-05-17 01:37:47 AM
4 votes:
it looks like an AK-47-type rifle.

Might as well get this /oblig out of the way:

blog.robballen.com
2013-05-17 01:35:21 AM
4 votes:
I may be stating the obvious, but if there had been someone else in the area who was armed, that never would have happened.  After all, it is absolute truth that the only way to stop someone with a weapon is someone else with a weapon.
2013-05-17 02:17:14 AM
3 votes:
At common law it's only an assault rifle up until it shoots someone. Then it's a battery rifle
2013-05-17 01:49:40 AM
3 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: NewportBarGuy: There is no such thing as an assault rifle.

Really? Because Webster's Dictionary would tend to disagree with you:

assault rifle  noun: any of various automatic or semiautomatic rifles with large capacity magazines designed for military use


Websters has already been discredited:
i.imgur.com
2013-05-17 01:41:21 AM
3 votes:
So, the party ended with a bang?
2013-05-17 01:38:54 AM
3 votes:
She put the ass in assault rifle....
2013-05-16 11:50:37 PM
3 votes:

mtlls: Basic firearms instruction anyone?


Well, she taught her friends a lesson.
2013-05-17 02:21:03 AM
2 votes:
mtylerjr.smallbizdepot.com
2013-05-17 02:12:49 AM
2 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: kibbled: I assumed AR-15 stood for assault rifle. Am i mistaken?

That is correct. AK-47, as mentioned in the article, stands for Attack Killer.


There was a trolling comment in an earlier gun thread today that cracked me up.


"The AK-47 and AR-15 are Assault Rifles as designated by their manufacturers. Of course we all know "AR" stands for "Assault Rifle", but "AK" stands for "Assaulti Karabina", which is Russian for, you guessed it, "Assault Rifle." These were purpose-built for being fully machine gun automatic weapons for infantrymen to kill as many enemy as possible.

The numbers indicated the size of their ammo magazines but there have been aftermarket magazines developed which will hold 30 or 100 rounds, and even a backpack that will hold 1000 rounds."
2013-05-17 02:05:29 AM
2 votes:
If assault weapons were banned, she would have been restricted to a rifle without a pistol grip or collapsing stock, a bullet from which would have been substantially less lethal.
2013-05-17 01:45:09 AM
2 votes:

Billy Bathsalt: GreenSun: Poor woman. Getting drunk can really make you do wacky things. Deadly weapons shouldn't be easily accessible, especially by drunk people.

That's why I decided not to get an assault weapon.  I drink waaay too much.


I'm sorry, I'm told there's no such thing as an assault weapon. Or drinking too much.
2013-05-17 12:11:23 AM
2 votes:
i369.photobucket.com
2013-05-17 12:06:49 AM
2 votes:
oi39.tinypic.com
2013-05-17 12:56:50 PM
1 votes:
i651.photobucket.com

/the gun rules do not care if you remember them or not, they will kill you or others neaby when you disobey them
2013-05-17 07:53:53 AM
1 votes:

flamingboard


NewportBarGuy: There is no such thing as an assault rifle.

Apparently there's no such thing as a responsible gun owner.

6 zillion guns in the US, you find the 2% that are used foolishly and your mad math skills say "no such thing as a responsible gun owner"

Public schooling really worked for you.
2013-05-17 07:49:05 AM
1 votes:
We need armed guards on every staircase.
2013-05-17 07:41:49 AM
1 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: kibbled: I assumed AR-15 stood for assault rifle. Am i mistaken?



Confirmation: Yes you are. It is called the AR because it was first developed by the ArmaLite corporation, who later sold the design to Colt, who kept the AR designation.
Addendum : Much like how the HK416 is built by Heckler & Kock, or the CZ-75 is built by Česká zbrojovka Uherský Brod.


That is correct. AK-47, as mentioned in the article, stands for Attack Killer.

Objection: No, you're thinking of HK-47
www.geeklore.net
which stands for Hunter Killer.

Observation: You are both meatbags who know nothing about weapons.
Query: Would you like to know more?

/double meme bonus for you meatbags.
2013-05-17 04:40:24 AM
1 votes:
They look like the kind of turds who would ride Harleys.

100% assholes, every single one of you without exception - dicks.
2013-05-17 03:44:49 AM
1 votes:

homelessdude: She probably had the munchies and mistook it for a spork.
Happens all the time.



farm4.staticflickr.com
and here I thought there was no such thing as a spork in 1911.
2013-05-17 03:21:49 AM
1 votes:

johncb76006: What was she doing with a fully automatic military weapon or in other words an assault rifle?  I do hope that she had the fed tax stamp for it.


No. She was taxed enough already.
2013-05-17 02:52:32 AM
1 votes:
westernrifleshooters.files.wordpress.com
2013-05-17 02:44:11 AM
1 votes:
static.topnewstoday.org:8080

Oh my gawd! RIGHT???
2013-05-17 02:43:30 AM
1 votes:
24.media.tumblr.com
What a waste of pussy.
2013-05-17 02:32:15 AM
1 votes:

sethen320: Since this is fark my guess is that a bunch of emotional, knee-jerk reactionists will tell everyone here who has ever so much as thought about guns that they are callous killers in waiting...because guns are evil. And they hate scary things...because Newtown.


Actually, TFA makes it sound like guns are sentient, evil, treacherous things.  She was just handing the rifle to her hubby when the gun fired.  It fired itself again as hubby caught her falling body.  Damned guns have demon  souls.
2013-05-17 02:22:29 AM
1 votes:

cameroncrazy1984: armor helix: rosebud_the_sled: I may be stating the obvious, but if there had been someone else in the area who was armed, that never would have happened.  After all, it is absolute truth that the only way to stop someone with a weapon is someone else with a weapon.

DERPA-DERPA-DERP!! Still funny and relevant after 18373828 times.

Well hey, isn't that what Wayne LaPierre said? Is he not correct?


The fat guy from Seinfeld? Wtf
2013-05-17 02:18:26 AM
1 votes:
i1048.photobucket.com
2013-05-17 02:13:45 AM
1 votes:

awalkingecho: cameroncrazy1984: sethen320: It might even help with your phobia of getting shot.

What phobia of getting shot? I gave you numbers. That's called evidence-based reasoning.

Are you implying that correlation is causation?


No, it's clearly unrelated that after a massive gun-control law was passed in 1996 all gun-related violence went down sharply in Australia.
2013-05-17 02:12:57 AM
1 votes:
I am late to this wonderful outpouring of constructive discussion. I just drank half a fifth of Tito's vodka in 5 minutes and am now starting to read from the very top. "Let's see how long he lasts Jim"
2013-05-17 02:05:38 AM
1 votes:

kibbled: I assumed AR-15 stood for assault rifle. Am i mistaken?


That is correct. AK-47, as mentioned in the article, stands for Attack Killer.
2013-05-17 01:56:27 AM
1 votes:
Live by the DERP, Die by the DERP.
2013-05-17 01:51:33 AM
1 votes:
Can we cover "there's no such thing as a pit bull" in this thread too?
2013-05-17 01:50:23 AM
1 votes:
What you're saying,  sethen320, is that we aren't as good as the UK. That it's just too hard to be exceptional. Is that what you really believe? That the US cannot be better than every other country in the developed world?
2013-05-17 01:42:04 AM
1 votes:
Since this is fark my guess is that a bunch of emotional, knee-jerk reactionists will tell everyone here who has ever so much as thought about guns that they are callous killers in waiting...because guns are evil. And they hate scary things...because Newtown.
2013-05-17 01:40:01 AM
1 votes:

Aeonite: NewportBarGuy: There is no such thing as an assault rifle.

Just like there's no such thing as a hunting knife.


Or a soup spoon.
2013-05-17 01:38:45 AM
1 votes:
Yes! Gun debate! I'm looking forward to changing peoples' minds on this issue.
2013-05-17 01:37:17 AM
1 votes:
So much stupid all in one place.
2013-05-17 01:35:54 AM
1 votes:
OBUMMER CAME TO TAKE HER GUN!!
/did I get it right
2013-05-17 01:35:35 AM
1 votes:
It is such a rare occasion that stories such as these are discussed in public forums. Shocked and enlightened by the novelty of awareness am I. *languished Rennaisance dude*
2013-05-17 01:31:24 AM
1 votes:
She argued pointlessly for hours about gun control with other people who have already made up their minds?
2013-05-17 12:24:50 AM
1 votes:
She disassembled, cleaned, and re-assembled the weapon in record time?
 
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