If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CBS News)   You now stand a greater chance of not winning $550 million in Saturday's Powerball drawing   (cbsnews.com) divider line 102
    More: Interesting, Powerball, Powerball jackpot, mess, cash value, insurance agents, Mega Millions  
•       •       •

11800 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 May 2013 at 11:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



102 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-05-16 06:44:01 PM
im' waiting for it to hit $1 billion
 
2013-05-16 07:08:20 PM
If you're saying there's a greater chance that there won't be a single winner, thus not winning $550M, then you're right.

If you're saying that there's less of a chance of winning at all, you're wrong.


/Yes, yes, your chances are the same as you don't pay the stupid tax blah blah blah...
 
2013-05-16 08:28:38 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: im' waiting for it to hit $1 billion


If through some shocking twist nobody hits it on Saturday, it will almost certainly go over $1b for Wednesday.  Heck, it could easily make it to $750m before Saturday.
 
2013-05-16 08:37:33 PM
Not gambling!

/retirement plan!
//I'm in for 10 bucks.... what the hell
 
2013-05-16 08:39:18 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Not gambling!

/retirement plan!
//I'm in for 10 bucks.... what the hell


Exactly. I can afford to waste 10 bucks once a year when it gets this high.
 
2013-05-16 08:41:10 PM

wxboy: If through some shocking twist nobody hits it on Saturday, it will almost certainly go over $1b for Wednesday. Heck, it could easily make it to $750m before Saturday.


If I won that much, I'd make a public announcement that I'd donate half of it to the state, if the governor, both senators and every house rep agreed to resign and stay away from politics for 10 years.
 
2013-05-16 08:47:39 PM
I bought one, but in my defense I never buy more than one. My thinking is if I am meant to win I only need one ticket.
 
2013-05-16 08:50:43 PM

2xhelix: wxboy: If through some shocking twist nobody hits it on Saturday, it will almost certainly go over $1b for Wednesday. Heck, it could easily make it to $750m before Saturday.

If I won that much, I'd make a public announcement that I'd donate half of it to the state, if the governor, both senators and every house rep agreed to resign and stay away from politics for 10 years.


Just make sure you get it in legally binding docs, and payable in installments over the 10 years.
 
2013-05-16 08:54:27 PM
*lawrence.jpg*
 
2013-05-16 08:59:53 PM

naughtyrev: Just make sure you get it in legally binding docs, and payable in installments over the 10 years.


I'd make sure my lawyers make them sign in goat blood.  I'd also earmark some of money for projects that they're vehemently against.
 
2013-05-16 09:18:09 PM

2xhelix: naughtyrev: Just make sure you get it in legally binding docs, and payable in installments over the 10 years.

I'd make sure my lawyers make them sign in goat blood.  I'd also earmark some of money for projects that they're vehemently against.


Be careful when people start writing or signing contracts in goal fluids.  Trust me on this: goat semen just disappears when it dries.
 
2013-05-16 09:34:04 PM
I'm gonna buy Fark when I win and make some changes around here.
 
2013-05-16 10:19:50 PM
Your chances never change, subby. Never. What changes is your chance of being the sole winner.

This headline proves why the lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math.
 
2013-05-16 10:23:44 PM
I pay the stupid tax of 10 dollars every week.  I fully expect to be at the same level of disappointment after the next drawing.

But I gotta try....
 
2013-05-16 10:43:35 PM

Popcorn Johnny: I'm gonna buy Fark when I win and make some changes around here.


You're going to pay for our TF memberships? For life?
 
2013-05-16 11:14:23 PM
Actually your odds of winning don't change no matter how many people play. Your odds of having to split the prize do increase however.
 
2013-05-16 11:15:48 PM
Remember, folks, you have  50-50 chance of winning this Powerball!  That is, of course, only if you buy a ticket.
 
2013-05-16 11:20:51 PM
Given the odds against winning, it's stupid to go out and dump all your money into a shiatload of tickets.  If you are going to play, buy a single ticket.  Don't try to increase your chances with more tickets because it doesn't make a significant difference.  You're shooting for the statistical outlier, aka, a farking miracle.

I want to win just so I can answer that question the reporter always asks.  "What are you going to do with the money?"  The answer, "buy my very own senator."

"And lots of hookers and blow."

/bought one ticket
//I don't expect to win a damn thing
 
2013-05-16 11:21:53 PM
The lottery is for suckers. So this week you can call me Senor Sucker.
 
2013-05-16 11:22:09 PM
i176.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-16 11:23:12 PM

2xhelix: wxboy: If through some shocking twist nobody hits it on Saturday, it will almost certainly go over $1b for Wednesday. Heck, it could easily make it to $750m before Saturday.

If I won that much, I'd make a public announcement that I'd donate half of it to the state, if the governor, both senators and every house rep agreed to resign and stay away from politics for 10 years.


The state will take half regardless.
 
2013-05-16 11:24:07 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: Your chances never change, subby. Never. What changes is your chance of being the sole winner.


Which is exactly what the headline states.  Reading comprehension:.it only works if you know how to use it.
 
2013-05-16 11:24:09 PM

Ambivalence: I bought one, but in my defense I never buy more than one. My thinking is if I am meant to win I only need one ticket.


I'm not sure whether i agree with you or not. I can see it both ways. On one hand you limit the amount of money you spend but on the other hand you also limit the amount of chances you have to win. There is no decisive answer. It is just so hard to choose!
 
2013-05-16 11:27:50 PM

eraser8: Trust me on this: goat semen just disappears when it dries.


Please don't explain how you know this.
 
2013-05-16 11:30:11 PM
I just bought ~175,000,000 tickets. I boxed the board on the lottery.

So, if I am the sole winner, I make tons of profit. And if I have 3-way split, I lose money.

Ahhhh, it's almost like the old days of arbitrage.
 
2013-05-16 11:30:15 PM

naughtyrev: MaudlinMutantMollusk: Not gambling!

/retirement plan!
//I'm in for 10 bucks.... what the hell

Exactly. I can afford to waste 10 bucks once a year when it gets this high.


I think about it the same way I think about going through twenty bucks on nickel slots at the casino:  it's entertainment, no more, no less.  I don't figure I'll win the mortgage, but if it happens, cool.
 
2013-05-16 11:30:36 PM
It would be nice to win.

It is weird that some of the more immediate plans I have on winning that involve giving some of the money to someone else (helping someone who runs a local camp get her own campground and a few years of operating costs, for instance, because they are FREAKING AMAZING and would do an amazing job. I'd see it as more of an investment than anything else...)
 
2013-05-16 11:31:39 PM
I'm going to buy 2.  And if I win, I'm going to buy a crap load of stock in my former company and get the asshats that fired me 2 weeks ago fired.  I wanna see their lives in as much turmoil as mine.

No...I did nothing wrong to get fired either.
 
2013-05-16 11:31:43 PM

2xhelix: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Your chances never change, subby. Never. What changes is your chance of being the sole winner.

Which is exactly what the headline states.  Reading comprehension:.it only works if you know how to use it.


No, you now stand exactly the same chance of not winning as you did before, which is NOT what the headline states. You're bad at reading AND math, I dread to see how bad your writing is.
 
2013-05-16 11:33:28 PM

lenfromak: 2xhelix: wxboy: If through some shocking twist nobody hits it on Saturday, it will almost certainly go over $1b for Wednesday. Heck, it could easily make it to $750m before Saturday.

If I won that much, I'd make a public announcement that I'd donate half of it to the state, if the governor, both senators and every house rep agreed to resign and stay away from politics for 10 years.

The state will take half regardless.


Where is it, Ontario where provincial Lotto winnings are tax-free?  That's a pretty decent model as far as I'm concerned.  Since the state is already keeping a known percentage of the betting pool ("for education/kids/senior/lame iguanas"), why do they also get to grab some of MY part if I win?  Far as I can tell, they already got their cut up front from everybody.
 
2013-05-16 11:33:31 PM
My real plan if I win:

Buy a rock-star travel bus and have it completely decked out.  Then I'll travel the country looking for good bbq joints and keep a blog of my travels.
 
2013-05-16 11:36:19 PM
How about we just call it a wash and drop it all into a sinkhole? ...no?
 
2013-05-16 11:36:45 PM

Gecko Gingrich: If you're saying there's a greater chance that there won't be a single winner, thus not winning $550M, then you're right.

If you're saying that there's less of a chance of winning at all, you're wrong.


/Yes, yes, your chances are the same as you don't pay the stupid tax blah blah blah...


This.
 
2013-05-16 11:38:06 PM

To The Escape Zeppelin!: Actually your odds of winning don't change no matter how many people play. Your odds of having to split the prize do increase however.


Which is why you should play Mega-Millions this week and not Powerball. $190 Million less chance of splitting the Jackpot.

/Pass the billboard with the amounts everyday. I will waste $5.00 tomorrow 2 Powerball and 1 Mega-Millions.
 
2013-05-16 11:38:22 PM
If I win, I'll buy TotalFark for life.

/probably not going to win
 
2013-05-16 11:40:08 PM
dl.dropboxusercontent.com
 
2013-05-16 11:44:12 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: 2xhelix: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Your chances never change, subby. Never. What changes is your chance of being the sole winner.

Which is exactly what the headline states.  Reading comprehension:.it only works if you know how to use it.

No, you now stand exactly the same chance of not winning as you did before, which is NOT what the headline states. You're bad at reading AND math, I dread to see how bad your writing is.


The headline says you now have a greater chance of not winning a specific amount. It does not say you have a greater chance of not winning at all.

Headline is still wrong though. Since I have a very small chance of winning 550 million dollars Saturday, my odds of winning 550 million dollars are much higher than back when it was estimated to be 475 million.
 
2013-05-16 11:45:52 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: 2xhelix: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Your chances never change, subby. Never. What changes is your chance of being the sole winner.

Which is exactly what the headline states.  Reading comprehension:.it only works if you know how to use it.

No, you now stand exactly the same chance of not winning as you did before, which is NOT what the headline states. You're bad at reading AND math, I dread to see how bad your writing is.


Assuming the jackpot ends up being $550mm the odds of winning it are lower than winning the last jackpot prize unless you didn't play either time.
 
2013-05-16 11:50:48 PM
I've spent more on this go around than I have in the past 5 years.  A whole whopping $22.
 
2013-05-16 11:58:25 PM
My luck with these types of things really sucks. If I bet on a coin flip, and bet on both heads and tails, the coin would land and stand up on its edge just to spite me.

/yes, I bought one ticket anyway
//each of the winning numbers will probably be just one higher from the numbers I have
 
2013-05-16 11:59:09 PM
The odds of you choosing the correct combination of numbered balls do not decrease when more tickets are sold.
 
2013-05-17 12:01:26 AM
i306.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-17 12:02:51 AM

Kenny B: [i306.photobucket.com image 480x441]


That's why I bought a bunch of whiskey, vodak and barley wine along with my lottery tickets
 
2013-05-17 12:05:32 AM
If I win I'll buy some overpriced piece of machinery that I will kill myself using within a month. Plus hookers and blow.
 
2013-05-17 12:08:36 AM
If I win, I'll donate half of it to the IRS.
 
2013-05-17 12:16:59 AM
I dropped $20.  I enjoy the day dreaming.  This brings my lifetime lottery spending up to a whopping $40.  Last time was when that one got up over $300M about a year ago.

It's getting to the point where I'd be seriously tempted to take the annuity instead of the lump sum...

/With that much money, I prefer a safe investment.
 
2013-05-17 12:19:38 AM
Meh, I'll probably buy a couple of tickets.

Because the 360 million pot on Wednesday wasn't enough.
 
2013-05-17 12:22:52 AM
Only in America.
 
2013-05-17 12:23:17 AM

Lsherm: I pay the stupid tax of 10 dollars every week.  I fully expect to be at the same level of disappointment after the next drawing.

But I gotta try....


Why?
 
2013-05-17 12:23:50 AM
Another farker posted this in a recent lottery thread.  I'd give credit, but I couldn't find the post:

http://www.ar15.com/archive/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=749519

Interesting read.
 
Displayed 50 of 102 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report