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(Slate)   Dear Prudie: Our brother's schlong is much bigger & prettier than ours or our father's. Should we ask Mom whether she had an affair?   (slate.com) divider line 38
    More: Asinine, Emily Yoffe, brothers, visual routine  
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21300 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 May 2013 at 7:18 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-05-16 07:33:22 PM
9 votes:
Dear Prudence,

I run a humorous news aggregator website. Lately, I've had to load it up with paid Buzzfeed and Daily Mail links to cover my Faberge egg habit. The site members caught on, though, and so I've had to put in a bunch of plainly listed "featured partner" garbage links to get it out in the open. Will this distract people enough to get away with continuing to link half-assed fake advice columns on the regular in exchange for Pizza Hut coupons?

- Drunk Kentuckian
2013-05-16 07:36:11 PM
3 votes:
I'm torn between:
1. The letter writer made this up.
2. Prudie made it up.
3. Nobody has to make this shiat up, because life is just that completely weird.

I'd really love to know how Dan Savage would have responded to this, though.

If the brothers really want to know, I'd imagine genetic testing would tell which if any of them had a different father.

/wouldn't it be crazy if all three of them had different fathers?
//don't ask questions unless you're sure you really want to know the answer
2013-05-16 07:28:44 PM
3 votes:
On the extremely remote possibility that this is real: why care?

There's nothing that can be done about it.

Just don't let your wife see your brother naked and everything will be fine.
2013-05-16 07:26:26 PM
3 votes:
Dear Prudie,

Our bro can literally pitch a tent with his skin pickle but hates the outdoors. What should we do?

Human emotions,
2013-05-17 07:36:20 AM
2 votes:
Came to see penis. Leaving disappoint.
2013-05-16 10:13:06 PM
2 votes:

poison_amy: EmmaLou: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

If you're for real, you're quite brave.

Not so much brave as bored! Farkers are kinda fun sometimes.

And wow... Someone gifted me a subscription! Thanks! I think I'm not supposed to say the givers name.... Right?


You're supposed to fill their inbox with BIE :p
2013-05-16 09:48:57 PM
2 votes:
 Omahawg: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already

I figured it out. yay me


Well, I hope you will continue to keep us updated on your fumbling attempts to email dick pics to a stranger over the Internets who might or not even be an actual woman. It is all very fascinating stuff.
2013-05-16 09:25:11 PM
2 votes:

Hagbardr: Good, but not as good as the gay incestual twin brothers.


...why no link?
2013-05-16 08:06:49 PM
2 votes:

JWideman: awalkingecho: Dwangerous: (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)

You don't need TF to submit a link...

Unless something has changed that I don't know about.

A lot of liters believe that you need TF to get the link approved.


Not specifically. Redlighted (visible to TF) headlines do get sniped fairly often, though. Copy headline (perhaps changing a word, maybe two), paste, add ? to the URL, resubmit a few hours later.
2013-05-16 07:38:17 PM
2 votes:

awalkingecho: Dwangerous: (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)

You don't need TF to submit a link...

Unless something has changed that I don't know about.


A lot of liters believe that you need TF to get the link approved.
2013-05-16 07:34:35 PM
2 votes:

js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them


^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.
2013-05-16 07:32:26 PM
2 votes:

Dwangerous: (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)


You don't need TF to submit a link...

Unless something has changed that I don't know about.
2013-05-16 07:27:41 PM
2 votes:
pfft. I knew a chick who was completely flat chested, while her younger sister had a great rack. Differences like these are more common than differences in hair or eye color.
2013-05-16 07:20:20 PM
2 votes:
Dear Prudence, why do you get really drunk and write yourself such silly letters?
2013-05-16 05:58:01 PM
2 votes:
Well, assuming this is a fake, at least its a good one.
2013-05-16 05:35:53 PM
2 votes:
Dear skimp, why are you looking at your man family's dicks?
2013-05-17 08:36:00 AM
1 votes:

thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

/penis


I call mine "Penosaurus  Rex"
2013-05-17 07:39:00 AM
1 votes:
Willie, Peter, and Rod ? aby bro's one-eyed wonder? Moby-Dick?

FFS. She's not even trying to make them sound real anymore.
2013-05-16 09:56:35 PM
1 votes:

EmmaLou: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

If you're for real, you're quite brave.


Brave for what? Wow, give this modern Anne Frank a medal for begging for pictures of cocks. So brave.
2013-05-16 09:53:36 PM
1 votes:

poison_amy: EmmaLou: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

If you're for real, you're quite brave.

Not so much brave as bored! Farkers are kinda fun sometimes.

And wow... Someone gifted me a subscription! Thanks! I think I'm not supposed to say the givers name.... Right?


I know I wouldn't. As someone who shows their tits and accepted goods and services in return, you really aren't suppose to name the identity of your Johns.
2013-05-16 08:53:18 PM
1 votes:
Answers to the "did mom screw around on dad" question are as follows:

1) is his skin complexion a lot darker and does he have kinky hair?  Then yes, your mom is a whore.

2) if answer to number 1 is "no", then your brother is teh ghey and just got chubbed up looking at his nekkid brothers.

/ which answer did you prefer ?
2013-05-16 08:40:10 PM
1 votes:

awalkingecho: You don't need TF to submit a link...


You are correct. Plenty of liters get greenlights and the only real advantage that TFers have is that they see everything that's been submitted and to a certain extent get some ideas on how to better craft their headlines.
2013-05-16 08:32:34 PM
1 votes:
Don't care. I'm happy with mine.

/EIP
2013-05-16 08:08:45 PM
1 votes:

Oakenshield: JWideman: awalkingecho: Dwangerous: (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)

You don't need TF to submit a link...

Unless something has changed that I don't know about.

A lot of liters believe that you need TF to get the link approved.

Not specifically. Redlighted (visible to TF) headlines do get sniped fairly often, though. Copy headline (perhaps changing a word, maybe two), paste, add ? to the URL, resubmit a few hours later.


happens to me quite often

meh

i'll sleep with their daughters some day to get back at them. oh yes I will.
2013-05-16 08:03:53 PM
1 votes:

desertfool: JWideman: awalkingecho: Dwangerous: (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)

You don't need TF to submit a link...

Unless something has changed that I don't know about.

A lot of liters believe that you need TF to get the link approved.

I believe that.


I've gotten two, both while as a liter.  And I don't try very hard.
2013-05-16 07:56:18 PM
1 votes:
She forgot the other obvious answer.  Younger bro has a homosexual incest fantasy, and the different color and size were due to him being turned on by seeing everyone naked.
2013-05-16 07:44:32 PM
1 votes:

AbbeySomeone: reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.

Some are better looking than others.


Yeah, speak for yourselves, guys. My penis is farking George Clooney.
2013-05-16 07:43:50 PM
1 votes:

js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them


I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

/penis story bro
2013-05-16 07:40:30 PM
1 votes:

octopied: My mom was nearly flat until she had us, and is still quite small chested,I am chesty and have been since 14. I have a few of her features, but not many. Most people would never guess we are mother and daughter as she is Asian and I pass for white. Apparently the boobies came down from somewhere on my dad's side.


Prove it?
2013-05-16 07:40:08 PM
1 votes:

octopied: My mom was nearly flat until she had us, and is still quite small chested,I am chesty and have been since 14. I have a few of her features, but not many. Most people would never guess we are mother and daughter as she is Asian and I pass for white. Apparently the boobies came down from somewhere on my dad's side.


I haven't checked, but if you have any pics in your profile, take them down now!  And your contact info!  You will not survive the onslaught of BIE requests!
2013-05-16 07:38:00 PM
1 votes:

Cagey B: Dear Prudence,

I run a humorous news aggregator website. Lately, I've had to load it up with paid Buzzfeed and Daily Mail links to cover my Faberge egg habit. The site members caught on, though, and so I've had to put in a bunch of plainly listed "featured partner" garbage links to get it out in the open. Will this distract people enough to get away with continuing to link half-assed fake advice columns on the regular in exchange for Pizza Hut coupons?

- Drunk Kentuckian


Damn, Young's Double Chocolate Stout  all over the screen
2013-05-16 07:37:40 PM
1 votes:
Dan Savage's column is much better. this one is fake.
2013-05-16 07:32:03 PM
1 votes:
Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion


/penis
2013-05-16 07:30:02 PM
1 votes:
In other news, you can no longer call him your little brother.  That is how he will now refer to you.
2013-05-16 07:28:23 PM
1 votes:
Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them
2013-05-16 07:26:28 PM
1 votes:
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-05-16 07:26:20 PM
1 votes:
Good, but not as good as the gay incestual twin brothers.
2013-05-16 06:17:01 PM
1 votes:
There's a pill for that. The proof is in my Yahoo spam folder
 
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