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(Slate)   Dear Prudie: Our brother's schlong is much bigger & prettier than ours or our father's. Should we ask Mom whether she had an affair?   ( slate.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Emily Yoffe, brothers, visual routine  
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21364 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 May 2013 at 7:18 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



202 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-05-16 05:35:53 PM  
Dear skimp, why are you looking at your man family's dicks?
 
2013-05-16 05:58:01 PM  
Well, assuming this is a fake, at least its a good one.
 
2013-05-16 05:59:29 PM  
Dear Ugly Junk,

You have worse problems

Regards,
 
2013-05-16 06:17:01 PM  
There's a pill for that. The proof is in my Yahoo spam folder
 
2013-05-16 07:20:20 PM  
Dear Prudence, why do you get really drunk and write yourself such silly letters?
 
2013-05-16 07:23:48 PM  
Dear Pee Wee,

Your brother was just happy to see you.
 
2013-05-16 07:24:35 PM  
Better complexion? Dude, he's the only one who doesn't have the herp.
 
2013-05-16 07:24:53 PM  
That was almost as good as the "Caught our landlord having sex with his dog, should we move out?" one.
 
2013-05-16 07:26:15 PM  
I liked my headline better......

//pout
 
2013-05-16 07:26:20 PM  
Good, but not as good as the gay incestual twin brothers.
 
2013-05-16 07:26:26 PM  
Dear Prudie,

Our bro can literally pitch a tent with his skin pickle but hates the outdoors. What should we do?

Human emotions,
 
2013-05-16 07:26:28 PM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-05-16 07:27:09 PM  
if any ladies are interested in german sausage

eip

bie?
 
2013-05-16 07:27:38 PM  
Dammit subby I just read this story and was going to submit it. (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)
 
2013-05-16 07:27:41 PM  
pfft. I knew a chick who was completely flat chested, while her younger sister had a great rack. Differences like these are more common than differences in hair or eye color.
 
2013-05-16 07:27:51 PM  
Short answer: No.

Long answer: Nooo.

/answer is usually longer, but not in the case of this letter writer, apparently.
 
2013-05-16 07:28:23 PM  
Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them
 
2013-05-16 07:28:44 PM  
On the extremely remote possibility that this is real: why care?

There's nothing that can be done about it.

Just don't let your wife see your brother naked and everything will be fine.
 
2013-05-16 07:28:50 PM  
fusillade762:

Once again I'm too slow to the thread.
 
2013-05-16 07:29:26 PM  
When did they see it? I always wear my shlong tarp when others are about
 
2013-05-16 07:29:46 PM  
Maybe he's a Shower?

/got nuttin
 
2013-05-16 07:30:02 PM  
In other news, you can no longer call him your little brother.  That is how he will now refer to you.
 
2013-05-16 07:30:29 PM  
My mom was nearly flat until she had us, and is still quite small chested,I am chesty and have been since 14. I have a few of her features, but not many. Most people would never guess we are mother and daughter as she is Asian and I pass for white. Apparently the boobies came down from somewhere on my dad's side.
 
2013-05-16 07:31:39 PM  

jim32rr: When did they see it? I always wear my shlong tarp when others are about


Camping trip with communal shower.

/I was gonna submit this too
//My headline was about as good.
 
2013-05-16 07:31:57 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-16 07:32:03 PM  
Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion


/penis
 
2013-05-16 07:32:26 PM  

Dwangerous: (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)


You don't need TF to submit a link...

Unless something has changed that I don't know about.
 
2013-05-16 07:33:22 PM  
Dear Prudence,

I run a humorous news aggregator website. Lately, I've had to load it up with paid Buzzfeed and Daily Mail links to cover my Faberge egg habit. The site members caught on, though, and so I've had to put in a bunch of plainly listed "featured partner" garbage links to get it out in the open. Will this distract people enough to get away with continuing to link half-assed fake advice columns on the regular in exchange for Pizza Hut coupons?

- Drunk Kentuckian
 
2013-05-16 07:34:35 PM  

js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them


^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.
 
2013-05-16 07:36:11 PM  
I'm torn between:
1. The letter writer made this up.
2. Prudie made it up.
3. Nobody has to make this shiat up, because life is just that completely weird.

I'd really love to know how Dan Savage would have responded to this, though.

If the brothers really want to know, I'd imagine genetic testing would tell which if any of them had a different father.

/wouldn't it be crazy if all three of them had different fathers?
//don't ask questions unless you're sure you really want to know the answer
 
2013-05-16 07:36:50 PM  
It's all about dick.
 
2013-05-16 07:37:40 PM  
Dan Savage's column is much better. this one is fake.
 
2013-05-16 07:38:00 PM  

Cagey B: Dear Prudence,

I run a humorous news aggregator website. Lately, I've had to load it up with paid Buzzfeed and Daily Mail links to cover my Faberge egg habit. The site members caught on, though, and so I've had to put in a bunch of plainly listed "featured partner" garbage links to get it out in the open. Will this distract people enough to get away with continuing to link half-assed fake advice columns on the regular in exchange for Pizza Hut coupons?

- Drunk Kentuckian


Damn, Young's Double Chocolate Stout  all over the screen
 
2013-05-16 07:38:17 PM  

awalkingecho: Dwangerous: (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)

You don't need TF to submit a link...

Unless something has changed that I don't know about.


A lot of liters believe that you need TF to get the link approved.
 
2013-05-16 07:39:37 PM  
Dear wrong wang:

Since you discovered this during the family gangbang/swingers ball it is possible.
 
2013-05-16 07:39:42 PM  

js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them


yes
 
2013-05-16 07:40:02 PM  

reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.


Some are better looking than others.
 
2013-05-16 07:40:08 PM  

octopied: My mom was nearly flat until she had us, and is still quite small chested,I am chesty and have been since 14. I have a few of her features, but not many. Most people would never guess we are mother and daughter as she is Asian and I pass for white. Apparently the boobies came down from somewhere on my dad's side.


I haven't checked, but if you have any pics in your profile, take them down now!  And your contact info!  You will not survive the onslaught of BIE requests!
 
2013-05-16 07:40:30 PM  

octopied: My mom was nearly flat until she had us, and is still quite small chested,I am chesty and have been since 14. I have a few of her features, but not many. Most people would never guess we are mother and daughter as she is Asian and I pass for white. Apparently the boobies came down from somewhere on my dad's side.


Prove it?
 
2013-05-16 07:42:37 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-16 07:42:38 PM  
Your brother having a bigger penis is no reason to go off half-cocked.
 
2013-05-16 07:42:57 PM  

gambitsgirl: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

yes


Georgia O'Keeffe disagrees.
 
2013-05-16 07:43:50 PM  

js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them


I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

/penis story bro
 
2013-05-16 07:44:30 PM  

octopied: My mom was nearly flat until she had us, and is still quite small chested,I am chesty and have been since 14. I have a few of her features, but not many. Most people would never guess we are mother and daughter as she is Asian and I pass for white. Apparently the boobies came down from somewhere on my dad's side.


I suspect your real father is Dolly Parton.
 
2013-05-16 07:44:32 PM  

AbbeySomeone: reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.

Some are better looking than others.


Yeah, speak for yourselves, guys. My penis is farking George Clooney.
 
2013-05-16 07:45:54 PM  

Dr.Zom: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

/penis story bro


A rose is beautiful but I don't want one hanging between my legs.
 
2013-05-16 07:46:25 PM  

fusillade762: AbbeySomeone: reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.

Some are better looking than others.

Yeah, speak for yourselves, guys. My penis is farking George Clooney.


It is farking George clooney?
 
2013-05-16 07:47:26 PM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion

/penis


"golf clap"

bravo +1 internets for you
 
2013-05-16 07:47:52 PM  

Sir Simon Milligan: fusillade762: AbbeySomeone: reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.

Some are better looking than others.

Yeah, speak for yourselves, guys. My penis is farking George Clooney.

It is farking George clooney?


Hey good for him, I like girls but I might just go gay for George Clooney.
 
2013-05-16 07:47:57 PM  

fusillade762: My penis is farking George Clooney.


I didn't know Clooney was into that.  It'd be more believable if you said your penis was farking Tom Cruise or John Travolta.
 
2013-05-16 07:48:57 PM  
Dear Small Fry.

It is widely known that schlong size is more accurate than a paternity test. You should immediately confront your mom as the slut she is.

Sincerely,
Prudie.
 
2013-05-16 07:49:36 PM  

teenage mutant ninja rapist: thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion

/penis

"golf clap"

bravo +1 internets for you


I call mine "The Boomstick."
 
2013-05-16 07:53:00 PM  
Size doesn't matter, right ladies? Right??!!
 
2013-05-16 07:53:10 PM  
Who would have guessed?

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-16 07:53:33 PM  
fusillade762:

Yeah, speak for yourselves, guys. My penis is farking George Clooney.


So GC takes it up the arse now, eh?
 
2013-05-16 07:54:01 PM  

Dr.Zom: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

/penis story bro


If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dick is always drop-dead gorgeous.
 
2013-05-16 07:54:06 PM  
It kind of makes me wonder what ever happened to those two boys, Johnny Deeper and Tommy Farkerfaster.
 
2013-05-16 07:55:56 PM  
Oh Long Johnson.
 
2013-05-16 07:56:18 PM  
She forgot the other obvious answer.  Younger bro has a homosexual incest fantasy, and the different color and size were due to him being turned on by seeing everyone naked.
 
2013-05-16 07:56:30 PM  
I call mine Mufasa. It has a beautiful mane and loves ladies' circle of life.
 
2013-05-16 07:57:23 PM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion

/penis


You forgot Willie.. you know, the one eyed wonder worm.....
 
2013-05-16 07:58:52 PM  
Wtf kind of "wedding" was this?
 
2013-05-16 08:01:07 PM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Old Drizzly


a2.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

You take that back, that is MINE! I copyrighted it with the guy at Kinko's!
 
2013-05-16 08:01:16 PM  
EmmaLou

Wtf kind of "wedding" was this?


yea, that was my question as well.
 
2013-05-16 08:02:16 PM  

JWideman: awalkingecho: Dwangerous: (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)

You don't need TF to submit a link...

Unless something has changed that I don't know about.

A lot of liters believe that you need TF to get the link approved.


I believe that.
 
2013-05-16 08:03:53 PM  

desertfool: JWideman: awalkingecho: Dwangerous: (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)

You don't need TF to submit a link...

Unless something has changed that I don't know about.

A lot of liters believe that you need TF to get the link approved.

I believe that.


I've gotten two, both while as a liter.  And I don't try very hard.
 
2013-05-16 08:05:21 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Dr.Zom: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

/penis story bro

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, my dick is always drop-dead gorgeous.


i'm pretty happy with my equipment but if my lady friends are to be believed there are a lot of Ugly Johnsons out there. My friend dumped her last boyfriend because his was "too stabby." I didn't ask.
 
2013-05-16 08:06:49 PM  

JWideman: awalkingecho: Dwangerous: (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)

You don't need TF to submit a link...

Unless something has changed that I don't know about.

A lot of liters believe that you need TF to get the link approved.


Not specifically. Redlighted (visible to TF) headlines do get sniped fairly often, though. Copy headline (perhaps changing a word, maybe two), paste, add ? to the URL, resubmit a few hours later.
 
2013-05-16 08:08:45 PM  

Oakenshield: JWideman: awalkingecho: Dwangerous: (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)

You don't need TF to submit a link...

Unless something has changed that I don't know about.

A lot of liters believe that you need TF to get the link approved.

Not specifically. Redlighted (visible to TF) headlines do get sniped fairly often, though. Copy headline (perhaps changing a word, maybe two), paste, add ? to the URL, resubmit a few hours later.


happens to me quite often

meh

i'll sleep with their daughters some day to get back at them. oh yes I will.
 
2013-05-16 08:08:55 PM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Dear Prudie,

Our bro can literally pitch a tent with his skin pickle but hates the outdoors. What should we do?

Human emotions,


thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion

/penis


Omg I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard. Bravo, good sir.

/Lost it at Madeline Albright and never recovered
 
2013-05-16 08:14:00 PM  
Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.
 
2013-05-16 08:14:06 PM  
"It was like seeing a great white whale breaching alongside dolphins..."

This line will be used again
 
2013-05-16 08:17:38 PM  

js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them


I think someone once said that genitals are proof of God's sense of humor.
It's cliche to make fun of penises since they belong to men and we can take the comedic jabs, but vaginas are just as ridiculous.
 
2013-05-16 08:18:57 PM  

God-is-a-Taco: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I think someone once said that genitals are proof of God's sense of humor.
It's cliche to make fun of penises since they belong to men and we can take the comedic jabs, but vaginas are just as ridiculous.


People make fun of them because it's awkward to admit how great some of them think they look.
 
2013-05-16 08:19:32 PM  
Can't the two brothers just take a DNA test and not get the parents involved?

/ yes some penni can be beautiful
 
2013-05-16 08:22:54 PM  

desertfool: JWideman:
A lot of liters believe that you need TF to get the link approved.

I believe that.


Nah. The thing TFers have is that they see the redlit stuff. So if they see a good headline (or story), they have the chance to make it a great one. Or just copy/paste and hope for the best.
I don't understand why people care this much, to be honest. No one is going to be paid, and it's a bad avenue to massage one's ego.
 
2013-05-16 08:25:26 PM  
dear short/narrow,

galleryplus.ebayimg.com

best regards,

deal-with-it
 
2013-05-16 08:26:43 PM  
"Camping-Style Family Wedding"....????

Did this involve a shotgun & the groom duct taped up in the back of Cousin Skeeter's pickup?

/Squeeeel!
 
2013-05-16 08:32:34 PM  
Don't care. I'm happy with mine.

/EIP
 
2013-05-16 08:33:10 PM  

SilentStrider: Well, assuming this is a fake, at least its a good one.


They are always fake.
Getting old.
 
2013-05-16 08:34:00 PM  

TexanBoy: thisisyourbrainonFark: Dear Prudie,

Our bro can literally pitch a tent with his skin pickle but hates the outdoors. What should we do?

Human emotions,

thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion

/penis

Omg I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard. Bravo, good sir.

/Lost it at Madeline Albright and never recovered


Y'all forgot mine,  The Kraken.
 
2013-05-16 08:37:43 PM  
FunkOut:
People make fun of them because it's awkward to admit how great some of them think they look.

How is that not exemplified better by women, though?
The way women talk about their appearance and how it contrasts with men, you'd think that each of them rose from the sea foam as an act of sacrifice for mankind.
It's pretty annoying, but I guess people are just used to it and it's really not worth the effort to try and change.
 
2013-05-16 08:38:18 PM  
/ Waiting for Wellon Dowd to give us his opinion on this.
 
2013-05-16 08:40:10 PM  

awalkingecho: You don't need TF to submit a link...


You are correct. Plenty of liters get greenlights and the only real advantage that TFers have is that they see everything that's been submitted and to a certain extent get some ideas on how to better craft their headlines.
 
2013-05-16 08:43:28 PM  
No attempts to tie this to the Dick Trickle thing?
 
2013-05-16 08:51:18 PM  
www.domyownpestcontrol.com
 
2013-05-16 08:51:49 PM  
My favorite pick-up line;
Little boys have pee-pee's.
Young boys have penis's.
Most men have dick's.
I have a Cock!

Usually only works on neglected wives


/penis
//trademarked
///i sell t-shirts
 
2013-05-16 08:52:04 PM  

js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them


Personally I think there are, but it's rare.  Mostly it's the case that some look better than others as Abby said.  Much like all body parts really.
 
2013-05-16 08:53:18 PM  
Answers to the "did mom screw around on dad" question are as follows:

1) is his skin complexion a lot darker and does he have kinky hair?  Then yes, your mom is a whore.

2) if answer to number 1 is "no", then your brother is teh ghey and just got chubbed up looking at his nekkid brothers.

/ which answer did you prefer ?
 
2013-05-16 08:56:50 PM  
wackymania.com
 
2013-05-16 09:00:04 PM  
Their parents just got smart and didn't circumcise the youngest, which is why it looks better and healthier.

(score out of 10?)
 
2013-05-16 09:00:59 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-16 09:01:05 PM  

Sir Simon Milligan: fusillade762: AbbeySomeone: reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.

Some are better looking than others.

Yeah, speak for yourselves, guys. My penis is farking George Clooney.

It is farking George clooney?


Yeah  ...he may want to rephrase that.
 
2013-05-16 09:02:12 PM  
Prudy fails for not asking for pics of all four in question. Preferably peeking out of Lacrosse shorts.
 
2013-05-16 09:09:22 PM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion

/penis


tl;dr
tmw;ito;yh
(toommuchwierd;idletimeon;yourhands)
 
2013-05-16 09:15:46 PM  
Dr.Zom: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.


But have you actually tried that line? Ya nevah know...
 
2013-05-16 09:17:33 PM  
One thing I've learned from watching interracial porn is that brothers definitely tend to have the bigger penises.
 
2013-05-16 09:20:20 PM  
Mine have been described to have the majestic beauty of a lion and the scented fragrance of smoked bacon.
 
2013-05-16 09:20:55 PM  
This is why penis inspection day should be held at public schools rather than done at home.
 
2013-05-16 09:22:17 PM  

cookiefleck: Can't the two brothers just take a DNA test and not get the parents involved?

/ yes some penni can be beautiful


Think that's really expensive. Cheaper if they wanted to see if they had the same mother.But father, without his DNA, think that's a lot pricier. Though I think worrying about it at all is pretty silly.
 
2013-05-16 09:23:14 PM  

super_grass: This is why penis inspection day should be held at public schools rather than done at home.


I thought that was what church and summer camp was for.
 
2013-05-16 09:25:11 PM  

Hagbardr: Good, but not as good as the gay incestual twin brothers.


...why no link?
 
2013-05-16 09:25:14 PM  

God-is-a-Taco: desertfool: JWideman:
A lot of liters believe that you need TF to get the link approved.

I believe that.

Nah. The thing TFers have is that they see the redlit stuff. So if they see a good headline (or story), they have the chance to make it a great one. Or just copy/paste and hope for the best.
I don't understand why people care this much, to be honest. No one is going to be paid, and it's a bad avenue to massage one's ego.


I pay to see all the submissions because some of the redlit ones are useful in my work.
 
2013-05-16 09:25:42 PM  

Dr.Zom: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

/penis story bro


My gf told tons of her friends how good I was at a particular sex act, when we first hooked up.
She then got pissed off at me when they hit on me.
 
2013-05-16 09:29:28 PM  

SBinRR: super_grass: This is why penis inspection day should be held at public schools rather than done at home.

I thought that was what church and summer camp was for.


Nah. Not everyone can afford private penis inspection facilities. Hopefully the ACA will cover religious penile inspection as well.
 
2013-05-16 09:31:05 PM  

poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.


it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already
 
2013-05-16 09:34:16 PM  

Omahawg: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already


I figured it out. yay me
 
2013-05-16 09:36:11 PM  
My penis knows it is beautiful. It sings like nobody is listening, and dances like nobody knows I'm banging your mom.
 
2013-05-16 09:36:49 PM  

poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.


If you're for real, you're quite brave.
 
2013-05-16 09:38:17 PM  

Modguy: Hagbardr: Good, but not as good as the gay incestual twin brothers.

...why no link?


Because I'm on a phone and linking is a pain in the ass.
 
2013-05-16 09:44:41 PM  

Fallout Boy: Mine have been described to have the majestic beauty of a lion and the scented fragrance of smoked bacon.


What have you been doing to the bacon?
 
2013-05-16 09:45:22 PM  

EmmaLou: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

If you're for real, you're quite brave.


Not so much brave as bored! Farkers are kinda fun sometimes.

And wow... Someone gifted me a subscription! Thanks! I think I'm not supposed to say the givers name.... Right?
 
2013-05-16 09:46:44 PM  
my younger brother's male parts were noticeably different (and "better") than ours in almost every way possible: size, shape, even complexion (!)

Like that joke from WWII, when the army was segregated...

A colored officer was surprised to see a white officer in the headquarters of a colored regiment.

"I thought this was a colored regiment."

"I'm white. My privates are colored".

"Ain't you the fancy one!"
 
2013-05-16 09:48:57 PM  
 Omahawg: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already

I figured it out. yay me


Well, I hope you will continue to keep us updated on your fumbling attempts to email dick pics to a stranger over the Internets who might or not even be an actual woman. It is all very fascinating stuff.
 
2013-05-16 09:50:59 PM  

John Buck 41: Dr.Zom: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

But have you actually tried that line? Ya nevah know...


Excellent point.
 
2013-05-16 09:51:00 PM  
If I was his brother, I would make sure to play Cigaro whenever he walked by the room
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-05-16 09:53:36 PM  

poison_amy: EmmaLou: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

If you're for real, you're quite brave.

Not so much brave as bored! Farkers are kinda fun sometimes.

And wow... Someone gifted me a subscription! Thanks! I think I'm not supposed to say the givers name.... Right?


I know I wouldn't. As someone who shows their tits and accepted goods and services in return, you really aren't suppose to name the identity of your Johns.
 
2013-05-16 09:55:09 PM  

Fallout Boy:  Omahawg: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already

I figured it out. yay me

Well, I hope you will continue to keep us updated on your fumbling attempts to email dick pics to a stranger over the Internets who might or not even be an actual woman. It is all very fascinating stuff.


Aww...harsh. I'm definitely a woman. I resent the implication!

//I don't have a penis
///I like cock pictures
////eip
//aw
 
2013-05-16 09:56:35 PM  

EmmaLou: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

If you're for real, you're quite brave.


Brave for what? Wow, give this modern Anne Frank a medal for begging for pictures of cocks. So brave.
 
2013-05-16 09:57:51 PM  

eraser8: gambitsgirl: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

yes

Georgia O'Keeffe disagrees.


Haw.
 
2013-05-16 09:59:33 PM  

poison_amy: Fallout Boy:  Omahawg: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already

I figured it out. yay me

Well, I hope you will continue to keep us updated on your fumbling attempts to email dick pics to a stranger over the Internets who might or not even be an actual woman. It is all very fascinating stuff.

Aww...harsh. I'm definitely a woman. I resent the implication!

//I don't have a penis
///I like cock pictures
////eip
//aw


So, post-op?

Okay, that was a low hanging fruit. I'm sure you are a nice gal IRL. I'll leave ya alone.
 
2013-05-16 10:02:09 PM  

Fallout Boy: poison_amy: Fallout Boy:  Omahawg: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already

I figured it out. yay me

Well, I hope you will continue to keep us updated on your fumbling attempts to email dick pics to a stranger over the Internets who might or not even be an actual woman. It is all very fascinating stuff.

Aww...harsh. I'm definitely a woman. I resent the implication!

//I don't have a penis
///I like cock pictures
////eip
//aw

So, post-op?

Okay, that was a low hanging fruit. I'm sure you are a nice gal IRL. I'll leave ya alone.


Ha... I'm not a very nice girl irl... That was funny though
 
2013-05-16 10:04:18 PM  

eatin' fetus: EmmaLou: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

If you're for real, you're quite brave.

Brave for what? Wow, give this modern Anne Frank a medal for begging for pictures of cocks. So brave.


I never beg :) I just put out a polite request, and I get what I want. You are right though, no bravery required!
 
2013-05-16 10:05:03 PM  

Fallout Boy: Mine have been described to have the majestic beauty of a lion and the scented fragrance of smoked bacon.



How many ya got?
 
2013-05-16 10:07:01 PM  
i.imgur.com

Smiling Bob could explain better
 
2013-05-16 10:07:21 PM  

Fallout Boy: Omahawg: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already

I figured it out. yay me

Well, I hope you will continue to keep us updated on your fumbling attempts to email dick pics to a stranger over the Internets who might or not even be an actual woman. It is all very fascinating stuff.


i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-05-16 10:09:03 PM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion

/penis


No Arnold Swollenmember? Also, any man referring to his penis as "The New York Post" probably has at least a 50% chance of hitting the wrong hole.
 
2013-05-16 10:11:40 PM  
my penis fights fires
it fixes flat tires
my penis has saved many lives
my penis it pees
it speaks japanese
in the indy 500 it drives


my penis plays chess
it cleans up a mess
it's an olympic athelete
oh the places it's been
it can play violin
my penis works on wall street


but this penis is a curse!
it's bad and it's getting worse
cause I'm always in the way
I can't live up to his name
this penis is a king
and many other things
it's a guru and a god
and me I'm just a fraud
me I'm just a fraud


my penis is smart
and it's good a big heart
and I've heard that it's famous in France
my penis is rich
and it's got perfect pitch
I keep it right here in my pants


with a phd
it can spell bourgeoisie
this penis deserving of praise
it's off the hook
my penis can cook
have you tried his bouillabaisse?


(chorus)


my penis is large
and it always takes charge
and the president calls for advise
my penis is strong
and it's never wrong
it's won the nobel prize twice


this penis of mine
turns pee into wine
it ends all suffering and strife
it's got no foreskin
but it died for your sins
and then it came back to life


(chorus)


this penis is not mine
it's all of space and time
it's everything that's good
it's not well understood

this penis is the world
it's every boy and girl
it's more than what it seems
it's all your hopes and dreams


bow down before my penis!
bow down before my penis!
bow down before my penis!
my penis is your god!
bow down before my penis!
my penis is your god!
my penis
have you seen us?
me and my penis
 
2013-05-16 10:13:06 PM  

poison_amy: EmmaLou: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

If you're for real, you're quite brave.

Not so much brave as bored! Farkers are kinda fun sometimes.

And wow... Someone gifted me a subscription! Thanks! I think I'm not supposed to say the givers name.... Right?


You're supposed to fill their inbox with BIE :p
 
2013-05-16 10:18:15 PM  
Penis Envy?
/Thanks again Bathia : )
 
2013-05-16 10:19:49 PM  

eraser8: fusillade762: My penis is farking George Clooney.

I didn't know Clooney was into that.  It'd be more believable if you said your penis was farking Tom Cruise or John Travolta.


You have a color preference?

/not green, I save that for the trolls.
 
2013-05-16 10:22:42 PM  
Weird doesn't like the link.
Oh well.
http://www.sonorika.co.uk/unclebonsai
 
2013-05-16 10:22:59 PM  

poison_amy: Fallout Boy:  Omahawg: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already

I figured it out. yay me

Well, I hope you will continue to keep us updated on your fumbling attempts to email dick pics to a stranger over the Internets who might or not even be an actual woman. It is all very fascinating stuff.

Aww...harsh. I'm definitely a woman. I resent the implication!

//I don't have a penis
///I like cock pictures
////eip
//aw


I would offer mine but my phone's camera doesn't zoom in enough to make it worthwhile.

/like a pygmy in the jungle
//minus the spear
 
2013-05-16 10:33:02 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Weird doesn't like the link.
Oh well.
http://www.sonorika.co.uk/unclebonsai


Love Uncle Bonsai :)

The Love Boat song was one of my favorites

/ lost it's anchor
// bought out by some banker
/// hired out as a tanker
 
2013-05-16 10:34:01 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Weird doesn't like the link.
Oh well.
http://www.sonorika.co.uk/unclebonsai


I like your link

giggity
 
2013-05-16 10:36:21 PM  
And this is important...why?
It's not like he can loan it to you for a 'special night', full sibling or not.
He's your brother, and he's got a bigger tallywhacker than you do.
Get over it.

"It ain't the wand, it's the skill of the wizard"...or something like that...
 
2013-05-16 10:40:07 PM  

WeenerGord: tinfoil-hat maggie: Weird doesn't like the link.
Oh well.
http://www.sonorika.co.uk/unclebonsai

Love Uncle Bonsai :)

The Love Boat song was one of my favorites

/ lost it's anchor
// bought out by some banker
/// hired out as a tanker


Oh wow it's been forever since I heard that.
/And yes Uncle Bonsai is awesome : )
 
2013-05-16 10:42:54 PM  

reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.


Oh, I dunno...
A bit of chocolate sauce, judiciously applied aerosol whipped cream and a few tasteful sprinkles can lead to cover a multitude of sins...
 
2013-05-16 10:47:25 PM  
I vote for fakerino.

Abby has slid to the depths of crap lately, and I usually expect a tiny bit better than that from Prudie.

//guess not
 
2013-05-16 10:48:07 PM  
I have the weirdest boner right now.
 
2013-05-16 10:50:13 PM  

syzygy whizz: reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.

Oh, I dunno...
A bit of chocolate sauce, judiciously applied aerosol whipped cream and a few tasteful sprinkles can lead to cover a multitude of sins...


s3.amazonaws.com

D'you like chocolate?
 
2013-05-16 10:51:09 PM  

Omahawg: tinfoil-hat maggie: Weird doesn't like the link.
Oh well.
http://www.sonorika.co.uk/unclebonsai

I like your link

giggity


Heh, you would.
Oh and I found Penis Envyon youtube thanks to WeenerGord .
Oh and Boys want sex in the morning
 
2013-05-16 10:57:59 PM  
 
2013-05-16 11:07:45 PM  

poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.


You've got mail. :)
 
2013-05-16 11:11:38 PM  

Deucetoo: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

You've got mail male. :)


/ftfy
 
2013-05-16 11:37:11 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: One thing I've learned from watching interracial porn is that brothers definitely tend to have the bigger penises.


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

Disagrees with your silly comment
 
2013-05-16 11:47:36 PM  

Azlefty: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: One thing I've learned from watching interracial porn is that brothers definitely tend to have the bigger penises.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 183x275]

Disagrees with your silly comment


4.bp.blogspot.com

www.biography.com

whitenoiseinsanity.com

Also disagree.

/My wife however does agree
//My girlfriends don't
 
2013-05-16 11:52:47 PM  
I may have a pretty penis, but it is attached to one ugly motherfarker.
 
2013-05-16 11:57:56 PM  

illannoyin: Azlefty: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: One thing I've learned from watching interracial porn is that brothers definitely tend to have the bigger penises.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 183x275]

Disagrees with your silly comment

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 620x867]

[www.biography.com image 402x402]

[whitenoiseinsanity.com image 296x468]

Also disagree.

/My wife however does agree
//My girlfriends don't


And here I thought Cheney was just trying to compensate by acting like a giant tool. Still, he may just be hiding a pistol down there in case he suspects anyone of being a snitch.
 
2013-05-17 12:05:48 AM  

stu1-1: Sir Simon Milligan: fusillade762: AbbeySomeone: reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.

Some are better looking than others.

Yeah, speak for yourselves, guys. My penis is farking George Clooney.

It is farking George clooney?

Yeah  ...he may want to rephrase that.


*Groundskeeper Willie voice*

You heard me.

What celebrity does your penis most resemble?
 
2013-05-17 12:09:54 AM  

fusillade762: stu1-1: Sir Simon Milligan: fusillade762: AbbeySomeone: reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.

Some are better looking than others.

Yeah, speak for yourselves, guys. My penis is farking George Clooney.

It is farking George clooney?

Yeah  ...he may want to rephrase that.

*Groundskeeper Willie voice*

You heard me.

What celebrity does your penis most resemble?


Mickey Rooney.
 
2013-05-17 12:15:36 AM  
I'd be afraid of wie. I've seen many cocks in my life, and I'm afraid to see suprise things that can't be unseen.
 
2013-05-17 12:16:27 AM  
fusillade762:

What celebrity does your penis most resemble?

after reviewing the collection, i can say we have a Phil Collins, a Che Guevara, a Carrot Top, and R2D2, for a start
 
2013-05-17 12:21:29 AM  

fusillade762: What celebrity does your penis most resemble?


Robert Smith. Pale, attached to a mess of hair, and smothered with makeup on better days. Maybe I could say old Robert Smith if I feel like flattering myself, though that could be interpreted as either fat or lumpy.
 
2013-05-17 12:32:34 AM  
 
2013-05-17 12:33:23 AM  
she really needs another pic for her column
unless she wants to look smug
 
2013-05-17 12:48:39 AM  

js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them


Yes. I've seen one that would make an angel weep. Unfortunately it was attached to a bigger dick so ugly it could make a demon weep.
 
2013-05-17 01:01:28 AM  

Dr.Zom: I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive.


No, they all say that.
 
2013-05-17 01:03:11 AM  

poison_amy: after reviewing the collection, i can say we have a,,,,,   R2D2



Does it make the noises?
 
2013-05-17 01:05:51 AM  

WeenerGord: poison_amy: after reviewing the collection, i can say we have a,,,,,   R2D2


Does it make the noises?


Hmm...  I don't know.  Perhaps the owner of the R2D2 would like to come forward and let me play with it and find out....
 
2013-05-17 01:14:43 AM  
 
2013-05-17 01:18:03 AM  
I feel so alone.
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-17 01:29:27 AM  

Walter Paisley: illannoyin: Azlefty: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: One thing I've learned from watching interracial porn is that brothers definitely tend to have the bigger penises.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 183x275]

Disagrees with your silly comment

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 620x867]

[www.biography.com image 402x402]

[whitenoiseinsanity.com image 296x468]

Also disagree.

/My wife however does agree
//My girlfriends don't

And here I thought Cheney was just trying to compensate by acting like a giant tool. Still, he may just be hiding a pistol down there in case he suspects anyone of being a snitch.


Or it's just his diaper wadding up...
 
2013-05-17 02:05:27 AM  

Lady Indica: cookiefleck: Can't the two brothers just take a DNA test and not get the parents involved?

/ yes some penni can be beautiful

Think that's really expensive. Cheaper if they wanted to see if they had the same mother.But father, without his DNA, think that's a lot pricier. Though I think worrying about it at all is pretty silly.


Not so. For boys, it's easy to check if their Y-chromosomes are the same or not. Not much recombination occurs there, so it's a direct inheritance, but enough mutations arise to make unrelated men's different. This doesn't rule out the possibility of mom cheating with dad's brother or father, but unless that sort of thing is suspected, the test is more than close enough.
 
2013-05-17 02:08:09 AM  

Mr. Shabooboo: Walter Paisley: illannoyin: Azlefty: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: One thing I've learned from watching interracial porn is that brothers definitely tend to have the bigger penises.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 183x275]

Disagrees with your silly comment

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 620x867]

[www.biography.com image 402x402]

[whitenoiseinsanity.com image 296x468]

Also disagree.

/My wife however does agree
//My girlfriends don't

And here I thought Cheney was just trying to compensate by acting like a giant tool. Still, he may just be hiding a pistol down there in case he suspects anyone of being a snitch.

Or it's just his diaper wadding up...



The Cheney needs no diapers. It eats it.
 
2013-05-17 02:39:50 AM  

FunkOut: Dear Prudence, why do you get really drunk and write yourself such silly letters?


Well played.
 
2013-05-17 02:49:50 AM  

think_balance: FunkOut: Dear Prudence, why do you get really drunk and write yourself such silly letters?

Well played.


Prudie gets horny too, you know.

It's the Johnson brothers, Willie, Peter, and Rod! You and your brother got quite an eyeful of baby bro's one-eyed wonder. I wish I knew what you meant by the superior "complexion" of your brother's endowment. I'm just supposing that his Moby-Dick gives off a rosy glow due to excess blood flow. There are several ways to approach your central question: Did your mother give your father the shaft?
 
2013-05-17 03:22:39 AM  

E5bie: Lady Indica: cookiefleck: Can't the two brothers just take a DNA test and not get the parents involved?

/ yes some penni can be beautiful

Think that's really expensive. Cheaper if they wanted to see if they had the same mother.But father, without his DNA, think that's a lot pricier. Though I think worrying about it at all is pretty silly.

Not so. For boys, it's easy to check if their Y-chromosomes are the same or not. Not much recombination occurs there, so it's a direct inheritance, but enough mutations arise to make unrelated men's different. This doesn't rule out the possibility of mom cheating with dad's brother or father, but unless that sort of thing is suspected, the test is more than close enough.


Ah, very cool :)
 
2013-05-17 07:20:04 AM  
fusillade762:
My penis is farking George Clooney.

Is it detachable?  Because if your penis is farking George Clooney and you're in the vicinity, I have a script I've been trying to get in front of him.
 
2013-05-17 07:22:54 AM  
Let me undo this knot and we'll see who's the King of the shower.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-17 07:34:16 AM  

Dr.Zom: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

/penis story bro


Prove it
 
2013-05-17 07:36:20 AM  
Came to see penis. Leaving disappoint.
 
2013-05-17 07:39:00 AM  
Willie, Peter, and Rod ? aby bro's one-eyed wonder? Moby-Dick?

FFS. She's not even trying to make them sound real anymore.
 
2013-05-17 08:21:38 AM  

js34603: course vajays ain't pretty either


Dude, why wold you say that? Keep that thought vomit to yourself. Vaginas are the supreme BEAUTIFUL. And delicious. Gah. Please take that back.
 
2013-05-17 08:36:00 AM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

/penis


I call mine "Penosaurus  Rex"
 
2013-05-17 08:36:30 AM  

JWideman: awalkingecho: Dwangerous: (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)

You don't need TF to submit a link...

Unless something has changed that I don't know about.

A lot of liters believe that you need TF to get the link approved.


You don't. But it doesn't hurt.
 
2013-05-17 08:54:45 AM  

fusillade762: What celebrity does your penis most resemble?


vin diesel.
 
2013-05-17 09:25:31 AM  

illannoyin: Azlefty: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: One thing I've learned from watching interracial porn is that brothers definitely tend to have the bigger penises.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 183x275]

Disagrees with your silly comment

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 620x867]

[www.biography.com image 402x402]

[whitenoiseinsanity.com image 296x468]

Also disagree.


Dick Cheney?

I thought when asked about the Monarch programmed sex slave conspiracy theory, he made the opposite claim to show the stories to be urban legends..

i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-17 09:49:56 AM  

Dr.Zom: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

/penis story bro


You know that 'beautiful' is code for 'small.'

Seriously- what other compliment can you give a weenie?
 
2013-05-17 10:02:44 AM  
Dear No,

-Prudie
 
2013-05-17 10:03:49 AM  

wambu: Dear No,

Image file is too large (2036 KB is over 488 KB): http://i.imgur.com/c9X6n.gif: 403 Forbidden
-Prudie

FTFM
 
2013-05-17 10:20:04 AM  
... so I'm getting a kick...etc
 
2013-05-17 10:47:56 AM  

filter: Dr.Zom: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

/penis story bro

You know that 'beautiful' is code for 'small.'

Seriously- what other compliment can you give a weenie?


"I can't take that in the butt. It's way too big"
 
2013-05-17 10:51:33 AM  
If you are fibbing, follow that with "but I'll try...." Grimace appropriately.
 
2013-05-17 11:28:59 AM  

poison_amy: If you are fibbing, follow that with "but I'll try...." Grimace appropriately.


If it's big, purple, and drooling, you're doing it....right, I guess.
 
2013-05-17 11:52:55 AM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion

/penis


Throbbin' Wood
The Sherrif of Naughty Hams.
Prince John Holmes
 
2013-05-17 11:58:45 AM  

eraser8: fusillade762: My penis is farking George Clooney.

I didn't know Clooney was into that.  It'd be more believable if you said your penis was farking Tom Cruise or John Travolta.


You failed to mention Richard Gere, now he has a sad and is gently weeping into his gerbils fur.
 
2013-05-17 12:00:39 PM  

FTDA: Throbbin' Wood


Throbbin' Wood, Prince of Beaves!
 
2013-05-17 12:01:23 PM  

OlderGuy: thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion

/penis

You forgot Willie.. you know, the one eyed wonder worm.....


Herman the one eyed German
 
2013-05-17 12:09:43 PM  

greatwhiteslark: TexanBoy: thisisyourbrainonFark: Dear Prudie,

Our bro can literally pitch a tent with his skin pickle but hates the outdoors. What should we do?

Human emotions,

thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion

/penis

Omg I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard. Bravo, good sir.

/Lost it at Madeline Albright and never recovered

Y'all forgot mine,  The Kraken.


I call mine Genius, for two reasons.

1.  Every time I get laid it's another stroke of Genius.
2.  If I mess up and slip it to, "The Crazy," I've got someone to blame.  "Way to go Genius, got any more bright ideas?"

/I'm well aware of the fact that I'm mentally FUBAR, but judging by the rest of Fark, I'm in good company.
 
2013-05-17 12:10:22 PM  
This guy really wants to blow his brother, doesn't he?
 
2013-05-17 12:10:48 PM  

elev8meL8r: FTDA: Throbbin' Wood

Throbbin' Wood, Prince of Beaves!


That's awesome!
 
2013-05-17 12:17:35 PM  

poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.


Fine,  Here's my big cock photos:
i1197.photobucket.com

It's so big I can kiss it!
i1197.photobucket.com

I held up my end of the bargain, now whip 'em out girlie!
 
2013-05-17 12:23:01 PM  
Maybe little bro' rubs sausage on his sausage. Looks like the sausage trifecta was in play, but incomplete.
 
2013-05-17 12:31:57 PM  

great_tigers: I have the weirdest boner right now.


Let go of it, it's not yours.
 
2013-05-17 12:33:05 PM  

FTDA: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

Fine,  Here's my big cock photos:
[i1197.photobucket.com image 768x1024]

It's so big I can kiss it!
[i1197.photobucket.com image 850x637]

I held up my end of the bargain, now whip 'em out girlie!


you missed a crucial step.  You didn't give it a clever name.
 
2013-05-17 12:40:22 PM  

poison_amy: FTDA: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

Fine,  Here's my big cock photos:
[i1197.photobucket.com image 768x1024]

It's so big I can kiss it!
[i1197.photobucket.com image 850x637]

I held up my end of the bargain, now whip 'em out girlie!

you missed a crucial step.  You didn't give it a clever name.


Sure I did, that was upthread in a previous comment.
 
2013-05-17 12:46:11 PM  

WeenerGord: Here's one by Rodney Carrington


Bowling for Soup - My Wena

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gACs-_hdOok
 
2013-05-17 01:15:28 PM  

www.duskyswondersite.comFTDA: poison_amy: FTDA: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

Fine,  Here's my big cock photos:
[i1197.photobucket.com image 768x1024]

It's so big I can kiss it!
[i1197.photobucket.com image 850x637]

I held up my end of the bargain, now whip 'em out girlie!

you missed a crucial step.  You didn't give it a clever name.

Sure I did, that was upthread in a previous comment.


So you did!  Well, here's my boobies...
 
2013-05-17 01:19:22 PM  

poison_amy: [www.duskyswondersite.com image 850x637]FTDA: poison_amy: FTDA: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

Fine,  Here's my big cock photos:
[i1197.photobucket.com image 768x1024]

It's so big I can kiss it!
[i1197.photobucket.com image 850x637]

I held up my end of the bargain, now whip 'em out girlie!

you missed a crucial step.  You didn't give it a clever name.

Sure I did, that was upthread in a previous comment.

So you did!  Well, here's my boobies...


niiiiiiiiiiiice pair!!!!
(they appear to be 'real' and 'spectacular'.)
 
2013-05-17 08:30:57 PM  

elev8meL8r: poison_amy: If you are fibbing, follow that with "but I'll try...." Grimace appropriately.

If it's big, purple, and drooling, you're doing it....right, I guess.


I had a g/f who used to say (regarding oral gratification) "If my eyes aren't watering, I'm not doing it right."

Hi, RT.
 
2013-05-17 09:46:09 PM  
static2.mypetchicken.com

That, ladies and gentlemen is a Jersey Giant chicken.

A male Jersey Giant chicken. A cock.

With black plumage.

I present to you the black Jersey Giant cock.

A truly impressive specimen I might add.

// "Oh grow up."
/// "Never!"
 
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