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(Slate)   Dear Prudie: Our brother's schlong is much bigger & prettier than ours or our father's. Should we ask Mom whether she had an affair?   (slate.com) divider line 202
    More: Asinine, Emily Yoffe, brothers, visual routine  
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21302 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 May 2013 at 7:18 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-17 12:09:54 AM  

fusillade762: stu1-1: Sir Simon Milligan: fusillade762: AbbeySomeone: reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.

Some are better looking than others.

Yeah, speak for yourselves, guys. My penis is farking George Clooney.

It is farking George clooney?

Yeah  ...he may want to rephrase that.

*Groundskeeper Willie voice*

You heard me.

What celebrity does your penis most resemble?


Mickey Rooney.
 
2013-05-17 12:15:36 AM  
I'd be afraid of wie. I've seen many cocks in my life, and I'm afraid to see suprise things that can't be unseen.
 
2013-05-17 12:16:27 AM  
fusillade762:

What celebrity does your penis most resemble?

after reviewing the collection, i can say we have a Phil Collins, a Che Guevara, a Carrot Top, and R2D2, for a start
 
2013-05-17 12:21:29 AM  

fusillade762: What celebrity does your penis most resemble?


Robert Smith. Pale, attached to a mess of hair, and smothered with makeup on better days. Maybe I could say old Robert Smith if I feel like flattering myself, though that could be interpreted as either fat or lumpy.
 
2013-05-17 12:32:34 AM  
 
2013-05-17 12:33:23 AM  
she really needs another pic for her column
unless she wants to look smug
 
2013-05-17 12:48:39 AM  

js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them


Yes. I've seen one that would make an angel weep. Unfortunately it was attached to a bigger dick so ugly it could make a demon weep.
 
2013-05-17 01:01:28 AM  

Dr.Zom: I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive.


No, they all say that.
 
2013-05-17 01:03:11 AM  

poison_amy: after reviewing the collection, i can say we have a,,,,,   R2D2



Does it make the noises?
 
2013-05-17 01:05:51 AM  

WeenerGord: poison_amy: after reviewing the collection, i can say we have a,,,,,   R2D2


Does it make the noises?


Hmm...  I don't know.  Perhaps the owner of the R2D2 would like to come forward and let me play with it and find out....
 
2013-05-17 01:14:43 AM  
 
2013-05-17 01:18:03 AM  
I feel so alone.
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-17 01:29:27 AM  

Walter Paisley: illannoyin: Azlefty: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: One thing I've learned from watching interracial porn is that brothers definitely tend to have the bigger penises.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 183x275]

Disagrees with your silly comment

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 620x867]

[www.biography.com image 402x402]

[whitenoiseinsanity.com image 296x468]

Also disagree.

/My wife however does agree
//My girlfriends don't

And here I thought Cheney was just trying to compensate by acting like a giant tool. Still, he may just be hiding a pistol down there in case he suspects anyone of being a snitch.


Or it's just his diaper wadding up...
 
2013-05-17 02:05:27 AM  

Lady Indica: cookiefleck: Can't the two brothers just take a DNA test and not get the parents involved?

/ yes some penni can be beautiful

Think that's really expensive. Cheaper if they wanted to see if they had the same mother.But father, without his DNA, think that's a lot pricier. Though I think worrying about it at all is pretty silly.


Not so. For boys, it's easy to check if their Y-chromosomes are the same or not. Not much recombination occurs there, so it's a direct inheritance, but enough mutations arise to make unrelated men's different. This doesn't rule out the possibility of mom cheating with dad's brother or father, but unless that sort of thing is suspected, the test is more than close enough.
 
2013-05-17 02:08:09 AM  

Mr. Shabooboo: Walter Paisley: illannoyin: Azlefty: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: One thing I've learned from watching interracial porn is that brothers definitely tend to have the bigger penises.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 183x275]

Disagrees with your silly comment

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 620x867]

[www.biography.com image 402x402]

[whitenoiseinsanity.com image 296x468]

Also disagree.

/My wife however does agree
//My girlfriends don't

And here I thought Cheney was just trying to compensate by acting like a giant tool. Still, he may just be hiding a pistol down there in case he suspects anyone of being a snitch.

Or it's just his diaper wadding up...



The Cheney needs no diapers. It eats it.
 
2013-05-17 02:39:50 AM  

FunkOut: Dear Prudence, why do you get really drunk and write yourself such silly letters?


Well played.
 
2013-05-17 02:49:50 AM  

think_balance: FunkOut: Dear Prudence, why do you get really drunk and write yourself such silly letters?

Well played.


Prudie gets horny too, you know.

It's the Johnson brothers, Willie, Peter, and Rod! You and your brother got quite an eyeful of baby bro's one-eyed wonder. I wish I knew what you meant by the superior "complexion" of your brother's endowment. I'm just supposing that his Moby-Dick gives off a rosy glow due to excess blood flow. There are several ways to approach your central question: Did your mother give your father the shaft?
 
2013-05-17 03:22:39 AM  

E5bie: Lady Indica: cookiefleck: Can't the two brothers just take a DNA test and not get the parents involved?

/ yes some penni can be beautiful

Think that's really expensive. Cheaper if they wanted to see if they had the same mother.But father, without his DNA, think that's a lot pricier. Though I think worrying about it at all is pretty silly.

Not so. For boys, it's easy to check if their Y-chromosomes are the same or not. Not much recombination occurs there, so it's a direct inheritance, but enough mutations arise to make unrelated men's different. This doesn't rule out the possibility of mom cheating with dad's brother or father, but unless that sort of thing is suspected, the test is more than close enough.


Ah, very cool :)
 
2013-05-17 07:20:04 AM  
fusillade762:
My penis is farking George Clooney.

Is it detachable?  Because if your penis is farking George Clooney and you're in the vicinity, I have a script I've been trying to get in front of him.
 
2013-05-17 07:22:54 AM  
Let me undo this knot and we'll see who's the King of the shower.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-17 07:34:16 AM  

Dr.Zom: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

/penis story bro


Prove it
 
2013-05-17 07:36:20 AM  
Came to see penis. Leaving disappoint.
 
2013-05-17 07:39:00 AM  
Willie, Peter, and Rod ? aby bro's one-eyed wonder? Moby-Dick?

FFS. She's not even trying to make them sound real anymore.
 
2013-05-17 08:21:38 AM  

js34603: course vajays ain't pretty either


Dude, why wold you say that? Keep that thought vomit to yourself. Vaginas are the supreme BEAUTIFUL. And delicious. Gah. Please take that back.
 
2013-05-17 08:36:00 AM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

/penis


I call mine "Penosaurus  Rex"
 
2013-05-17 08:36:30 AM  

JWideman: awalkingecho: Dwangerous: (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)

You don't need TF to submit a link...

Unless something has changed that I don't know about.

A lot of liters believe that you need TF to get the link approved.


You don't. But it doesn't hurt.
 
2013-05-17 08:54:45 AM  

fusillade762: What celebrity does your penis most resemble?


vin diesel.
 
2013-05-17 09:25:31 AM  

illannoyin: Azlefty: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: One thing I've learned from watching interracial porn is that brothers definitely tend to have the bigger penises.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 183x275]

Disagrees with your silly comment

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 620x867]

[www.biography.com image 402x402]

[whitenoiseinsanity.com image 296x468]

Also disagree.


Dick Cheney?

I thought when asked about the Monarch programmed sex slave conspiracy theory, he made the opposite claim to show the stories to be urban legends..

i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-17 09:49:56 AM  

Dr.Zom: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

/penis story bro


You know that 'beautiful' is code for 'small.'

Seriously- what other compliment can you give a weenie?
 
2013-05-17 10:02:44 AM  
Dear No,

-Prudie
 
2013-05-17 10:03:49 AM  

wambu: Dear No,

Image file is too large (2036 KB is over 488 KB): http://i.imgur.com/c9X6n.gif: 403 Forbidden
-Prudie

FTFM
 
2013-05-17 10:20:04 AM  
... so I'm getting a kick...etc
 
2013-05-17 10:47:56 AM  

filter: Dr.Zom: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

/penis story bro

You know that 'beautiful' is code for 'small.'

Seriously- what other compliment can you give a weenie?


"I can't take that in the butt. It's way too big"
 
2013-05-17 10:51:33 AM  
If you are fibbing, follow that with "but I'll try...." Grimace appropriately.
 
2013-05-17 11:28:59 AM  

poison_amy: If you are fibbing, follow that with "but I'll try...." Grimace appropriately.


If it's big, purple, and drooling, you're doing it....right, I guess.
 
2013-05-17 11:52:55 AM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion

/penis


Throbbin' Wood
The Sherrif of Naughty Hams.
Prince John Holmes
 
2013-05-17 11:58:45 AM  

eraser8: fusillade762: My penis is farking George Clooney.

I didn't know Clooney was into that.  It'd be more believable if you said your penis was farking Tom Cruise or John Travolta.


You failed to mention Richard Gere, now he has a sad and is gently weeping into his gerbils fur.
 
2013-05-17 12:00:39 PM  

FTDA: Throbbin' Wood


Throbbin' Wood, Prince of Beaves!
 
2013-05-17 12:01:23 PM  

OlderGuy: thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion

/penis

You forgot Willie.. you know, the one eyed wonder worm.....


Herman the one eyed German
 
2013-05-17 12:09:43 PM  

greatwhiteslark: TexanBoy: thisisyourbrainonFark: Dear Prudie,

Our bro can literally pitch a tent with his skin pickle but hates the outdoors. What should we do?

Human emotions,

thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion

/penis

Omg I can't breathe I'm laughing so hard. Bravo, good sir.

/Lost it at Madeline Albright and never recovered

Y'all forgot mine,  The Kraken.


I call mine Genius, for two reasons.

1.  Every time I get laid it's another stroke of Genius.
2.  If I mess up and slip it to, "The Crazy," I've got someone to blame.  "Way to go Genius, got any more bright ideas?"

/I'm well aware of the fact that I'm mentally FUBAR, but judging by the rest of Fark, I'm in good company.
 
2013-05-17 12:10:22 PM  
This guy really wants to blow his brother, doesn't he?
 
2013-05-17 12:10:48 PM  

elev8meL8r: FTDA: Throbbin' Wood

Throbbin' Wood, Prince of Beaves!


That's awesome!
 
2013-05-17 12:17:35 PM  

poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.


Fine,  Here's my big cock photos:
i1197.photobucket.com

It's so big I can kiss it!
i1197.photobucket.com

I held up my end of the bargain, now whip 'em out girlie!
 
2013-05-17 12:23:01 PM  
Maybe little bro' rubs sausage on his sausage. Looks like the sausage trifecta was in play, but incomplete.
 
2013-05-17 12:31:57 PM  

great_tigers: I have the weirdest boner right now.


Let go of it, it's not yours.
 
2013-05-17 12:33:05 PM  

FTDA: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

Fine,  Here's my big cock photos:
[i1197.photobucket.com image 768x1024]

It's so big I can kiss it!
[i1197.photobucket.com image 850x637]

I held up my end of the bargain, now whip 'em out girlie!


you missed a crucial step.  You didn't give it a clever name.
 
2013-05-17 12:40:22 PM  

poison_amy: FTDA: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

Fine,  Here's my big cock photos:
[i1197.photobucket.com image 768x1024]

It's so big I can kiss it!
[i1197.photobucket.com image 850x637]

I held up my end of the bargain, now whip 'em out girlie!

you missed a crucial step.  You didn't give it a clever name.


Sure I did, that was upthread in a previous comment.
 
2013-05-17 12:46:11 PM  

WeenerGord: Here's one by Rodney Carrington


Bowling for Soup - My Wena

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gACs-_hdOok
 
2013-05-17 01:15:28 PM  

www.duskyswondersite.comFTDA: poison_amy: FTDA: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

Fine,  Here's my big cock photos:
[i1197.photobucket.com image 768x1024]

It's so big I can kiss it!
[i1197.photobucket.com image 850x637]

I held up my end of the bargain, now whip 'em out girlie!

you missed a crucial step.  You didn't give it a clever name.

Sure I did, that was upthread in a previous comment.


So you did!  Well, here's my boobies...
 
2013-05-17 01:19:22 PM  

poison_amy: [www.duskyswondersite.com image 850x637]FTDA: poison_amy: FTDA: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

Fine,  Here's my big cock photos:
[i1197.photobucket.com image 768x1024]

It's so big I can kiss it!
[i1197.photobucket.com image 850x637]

I held up my end of the bargain, now whip 'em out girlie!

you missed a crucial step.  You didn't give it a clever name.

Sure I did, that was upthread in a previous comment.

So you did!  Well, here's my boobies...


niiiiiiiiiiiice pair!!!!
(they appear to be 'real' and 'spectacular'.)
 
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