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(Slate)   Dear Prudie: Our brother's schlong is much bigger & prettier than ours or our father's. Should we ask Mom whether she had an affair?   (slate.com) divider line 202
    More: Asinine, Emily Yoffe, brothers, visual routine  
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21287 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 May 2013 at 7:18 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



202 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-05-16 09:23:14 PM

super_grass: This is why penis inspection day should be held at public schools rather than done at home.


I thought that was what church and summer camp was for.
 
2013-05-16 09:25:11 PM

Hagbardr: Good, but not as good as the gay incestual twin brothers.


...why no link?
 
2013-05-16 09:25:14 PM

God-is-a-Taco: desertfool: JWideman:
A lot of liters believe that you need TF to get the link approved.

I believe that.

Nah. The thing TFers have is that they see the redlit stuff. So if they see a good headline (or story), they have the chance to make it a great one. Or just copy/paste and hope for the best.
I don't understand why people care this much, to be honest. No one is going to be paid, and it's a bad avenue to massage one's ego.


I pay to see all the submissions because some of the redlit ones are useful in my work.
 
2013-05-16 09:25:42 PM

Dr.Zom: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

/penis story bro


My gf told tons of her friends how good I was at a particular sex act, when we first hooked up.
She then got pissed off at me when they hit on me.
 
2013-05-16 09:29:28 PM

SBinRR: super_grass: This is why penis inspection day should be held at public schools rather than done at home.

I thought that was what church and summer camp was for.


Nah. Not everyone can afford private penis inspection facilities. Hopefully the ACA will cover religious penile inspection as well.
 
2013-05-16 09:31:05 PM

poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.


it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already
 
2013-05-16 09:34:16 PM

Omahawg: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already


I figured it out. yay me
 
2013-05-16 09:36:11 PM
My penis knows it is beautiful. It sings like nobody is listening, and dances like nobody knows I'm banging your mom.
 
2013-05-16 09:36:49 PM

poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.


If you're for real, you're quite brave.
 
2013-05-16 09:38:17 PM

Modguy: Hagbardr: Good, but not as good as the gay incestual twin brothers.

...why no link?


Because I'm on a phone and linking is a pain in the ass.
 
2013-05-16 09:44:41 PM

Fallout Boy: Mine have been described to have the majestic beauty of a lion and the scented fragrance of smoked bacon.


What have you been doing to the bacon?
 
2013-05-16 09:45:22 PM

EmmaLou: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

If you're for real, you're quite brave.


Not so much brave as bored! Farkers are kinda fun sometimes.

And wow... Someone gifted me a subscription! Thanks! I think I'm not supposed to say the givers name.... Right?
 
2013-05-16 09:46:44 PM
my younger brother's male parts were noticeably different (and "better") than ours in almost every way possible: size, shape, even complexion (!)

Like that joke from WWII, when the army was segregated...

A colored officer was surprised to see a white officer in the headquarters of a colored regiment.

"I thought this was a colored regiment."

"I'm white. My privates are colored".

"Ain't you the fancy one!"
 
2013-05-16 09:48:57 PM
 Omahawg: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already

I figured it out. yay me


Well, I hope you will continue to keep us updated on your fumbling attempts to email dick pics to a stranger over the Internets who might or not even be an actual woman. It is all very fascinating stuff.
 
2013-05-16 09:50:59 PM

John Buck 41: Dr.Zom: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

But have you actually tried that line? Ya nevah know...


Excellent point.
 
2013-05-16 09:51:00 PM
If I was his brother, I would make sure to play Cigaro whenever he walked by the room
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-05-16 09:53:36 PM

poison_amy: EmmaLou: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

If you're for real, you're quite brave.

Not so much brave as bored! Farkers are kinda fun sometimes.

And wow... Someone gifted me a subscription! Thanks! I think I'm not supposed to say the givers name.... Right?


I know I wouldn't. As someone who shows their tits and accepted goods and services in return, you really aren't suppose to name the identity of your Johns.
 
2013-05-16 09:55:09 PM

Fallout Boy:  Omahawg: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already

I figured it out. yay me

Well, I hope you will continue to keep us updated on your fumbling attempts to email dick pics to a stranger over the Internets who might or not even be an actual woman. It is all very fascinating stuff.


Aww...harsh. I'm definitely a woman. I resent the implication!

//I don't have a penis
///I like cock pictures
////eip
//aw
 
2013-05-16 09:56:35 PM

EmmaLou: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

If you're for real, you're quite brave.


Brave for what? Wow, give this modern Anne Frank a medal for begging for pictures of cocks. So brave.
 
2013-05-16 09:57:51 PM

eraser8: gambitsgirl: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

yes

Georgia O'Keeffe disagrees.


Haw.
 
2013-05-16 09:59:33 PM

poison_amy: Fallout Boy:  Omahawg: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already

I figured it out. yay me

Well, I hope you will continue to keep us updated on your fumbling attempts to email dick pics to a stranger over the Internets who might or not even be an actual woman. It is all very fascinating stuff.

Aww...harsh. I'm definitely a woman. I resent the implication!

//I don't have a penis
///I like cock pictures
////eip
//aw


So, post-op?

Okay, that was a low hanging fruit. I'm sure you are a nice gal IRL. I'll leave ya alone.
 
2013-05-16 10:02:09 PM

Fallout Boy: poison_amy: Fallout Boy:  Omahawg: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already

I figured it out. yay me

Well, I hope you will continue to keep us updated on your fumbling attempts to email dick pics to a stranger over the Internets who might or not even be an actual woman. It is all very fascinating stuff.

Aww...harsh. I'm definitely a woman. I resent the implication!

//I don't have a penis
///I like cock pictures
////eip
//aw

So, post-op?

Okay, that was a low hanging fruit. I'm sure you are a nice gal IRL. I'll leave ya alone.


Ha... I'm not a very nice girl irl... That was funny though
 
2013-05-16 10:04:18 PM

eatin' fetus: EmmaLou: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

If you're for real, you're quite brave.

Brave for what? Wow, give this modern Anne Frank a medal for begging for pictures of cocks. So brave.


I never beg :) I just put out a polite request, and I get what I want. You are right though, no bravery required!
 
2013-05-16 10:05:03 PM

Fallout Boy: Mine have been described to have the majestic beauty of a lion and the scented fragrance of smoked bacon.



How many ya got?
 
2013-05-16 10:07:01 PM
i.imgur.com

Smiling Bob could explain better
 
2013-05-16 10:07:21 PM

Fallout Boy: Omahawg: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already

I figured it out. yay me

Well, I hope you will continue to keep us updated on your fumbling attempts to email dick pics to a stranger over the Internets who might or not even be an actual woman. It is all very fascinating stuff.


i.chzbgr.com
 
2013-05-16 10:09:03 PM

thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion

/penis


No Arnold Swollenmember? Also, any man referring to his penis as "The New York Post" probably has at least a 50% chance of hitting the wrong hole.
 
2013-05-16 10:11:40 PM
my penis fights fires
it fixes flat tires
my penis has saved many lives
my penis it pees
it speaks japanese
in the indy 500 it drives


my penis plays chess
it cleans up a mess
it's an olympic athelete
oh the places it's been
it can play violin
my penis works on wall street


but this penis is a curse!
it's bad and it's getting worse
cause I'm always in the way
I can't live up to his name
this penis is a king
and many other things
it's a guru and a god
and me I'm just a fraud
me I'm just a fraud


my penis is smart
and it's good a big heart
and I've heard that it's famous in France
my penis is rich
and it's got perfect pitch
I keep it right here in my pants


with a phd
it can spell bourgeoisie
this penis deserving of praise
it's off the hook
my penis can cook
have you tried his bouillabaisse?


(chorus)


my penis is large
and it always takes charge
and the president calls for advise
my penis is strong
and it's never wrong
it's won the nobel prize twice


this penis of mine
turns pee into wine
it ends all suffering and strife
it's got no foreskin
but it died for your sins
and then it came back to life


(chorus)


this penis is not mine
it's all of space and time
it's everything that's good
it's not well understood

this penis is the world
it's every boy and girl
it's more than what it seems
it's all your hopes and dreams


bow down before my penis!
bow down before my penis!
bow down before my penis!
my penis is your god!
bow down before my penis!
my penis is your god!
my penis
have you seen us?
me and my penis
 
2013-05-16 10:13:06 PM

poison_amy: EmmaLou: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

If you're for real, you're quite brave.

Not so much brave as bored! Farkers are kinda fun sometimes.

And wow... Someone gifted me a subscription! Thanks! I think I'm not supposed to say the givers name.... Right?


You're supposed to fill their inbox with BIE :p
 
2013-05-16 10:18:15 PM
Penis Envy?
/Thanks again Bathia : )
 
2013-05-16 10:19:49 PM

eraser8: fusillade762: My penis is farking George Clooney.

I didn't know Clooney was into that.  It'd be more believable if you said your penis was farking Tom Cruise or John Travolta.


You have a color preference?

/not green, I save that for the trolls.
 
2013-05-16 10:22:42 PM
Weird doesn't like the link.
Oh well.
http://www.sonorika.co.uk/unclebonsai
 
2013-05-16 10:22:59 PM

poison_amy: Fallout Boy:  Omahawg: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

it says invalid email?

am I stupid?

yes yes, I know that already

I figured it out. yay me

Well, I hope you will continue to keep us updated on your fumbling attempts to email dick pics to a stranger over the Internets who might or not even be an actual woman. It is all very fascinating stuff.

Aww...harsh. I'm definitely a woman. I resent the implication!

//I don't have a penis
///I like cock pictures
////eip
//aw


I would offer mine but my phone's camera doesn't zoom in enough to make it worthwhile.

/like a pygmy in the jungle
//minus the spear
 
2013-05-16 10:33:02 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: Weird doesn't like the link.
Oh well.
http://www.sonorika.co.uk/unclebonsai


Love Uncle Bonsai :)

The Love Boat song was one of my favorites

/ lost it's anchor
// bought out by some banker
/// hired out as a tanker
 
2013-05-16 10:34:01 PM

tinfoil-hat maggie: Weird doesn't like the link.
Oh well.
http://www.sonorika.co.uk/unclebonsai


I like your link

giggity
 
2013-05-16 10:36:21 PM
And this is important...why?
It's not like he can loan it to you for a 'special night', full sibling or not.
He's your brother, and he's got a bigger tallywhacker than you do.
Get over it.

"It ain't the wand, it's the skill of the wizard"...or something like that...
 
2013-05-16 10:40:07 PM

WeenerGord: tinfoil-hat maggie: Weird doesn't like the link.
Oh well.
http://www.sonorika.co.uk/unclebonsai

Love Uncle Bonsai :)

The Love Boat song was one of my favorites

/ lost it's anchor
// bought out by some banker
/// hired out as a tanker


Oh wow it's been forever since I heard that.
/And yes Uncle Bonsai is awesome : )
 
2013-05-16 10:42:54 PM

reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.


Oh, I dunno...
A bit of chocolate sauce, judiciously applied aerosol whipped cream and a few tasteful sprinkles can lead to cover a multitude of sins...
 
2013-05-16 10:47:25 PM
I vote for fakerino.

Abby has slid to the depths of crap lately, and I usually expect a tiny bit better than that from Prudie.

//guess not
 
2013-05-16 10:48:07 PM
I have the weirdest boner right now.
 
2013-05-16 10:50:13 PM

syzygy whizz: reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.

Oh, I dunno...
A bit of chocolate sauce, judiciously applied aerosol whipped cream and a few tasteful sprinkles can lead to cover a multitude of sins...


s3.amazonaws.com

D'you like chocolate?
 
2013-05-16 10:51:09 PM

Omahawg: tinfoil-hat maggie: Weird doesn't like the link.
Oh well.
http://www.sonorika.co.uk/unclebonsai

I like your link

giggity


Heh, you would.
Oh and I found Penis Envyon youtube thanks to WeenerGord .
Oh and Boys want sex in the morning
 
2013-05-16 10:57:59 PM
 
2013-05-16 11:07:45 PM

poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.


You've got mail. :)
 
2013-05-16 11:11:38 PM

Deucetoo: poison_amy: Too bad I got here late.  This is the perfect thread to ask for WIE and start the great cock-a-lanche that always comes with such requests..  EIP , and naming your pic with one of "thisisyourbrainonfark"'s suggestions will net you bonus BIE in return.

You've got mail male. :)


/ftfy
 
2013-05-16 11:37:11 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: One thing I've learned from watching interracial porn is that brothers definitely tend to have the bigger penises.


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

Disagrees with your silly comment
 
2013-05-16 11:47:36 PM

Azlefty: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: One thing I've learned from watching interracial porn is that brothers definitely tend to have the bigger penises.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 183x275]

Disagrees with your silly comment


4.bp.blogspot.com

www.biography.com

whitenoiseinsanity.com

Also disagree.

/My wife however does agree
//My girlfriends don't
 
2013-05-16 11:52:47 PM
I may have a pretty penis, but it is attached to one ugly motherfarker.
 
2013-05-16 11:57:56 PM

illannoyin: Azlefty: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: One thing I've learned from watching interracial porn is that brothers definitely tend to have the bigger penises.

[encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com image 183x275]

Disagrees with your silly comment

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 620x867]

[www.biography.com image 402x402]

[whitenoiseinsanity.com image 296x468]

Also disagree.

/My wife however does agree
//My girlfriends don't


And here I thought Cheney was just trying to compensate by acting like a giant tool. Still, he may just be hiding a pistol down there in case he suspects anyone of being a snitch.
 
2013-05-17 12:05:48 AM

stu1-1: Sir Simon Milligan: fusillade762: AbbeySomeone: reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.

Some are better looking than others.

Yeah, speak for yourselves, guys. My penis is farking George Clooney.

It is farking George clooney?

Yeah  ...he may want to rephrase that.


*Groundskeeper Willie voice*

You heard me.

What celebrity does your penis most resemble?
 
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