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(Slate)   Dear Prudie: Our brother's schlong is much bigger & prettier than ours or our father's. Should we ask Mom whether she had an affair?   (slate.com) divider line 202
    More: Asinine, Emily Yoffe, brothers, visual routine  
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21308 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 May 2013 at 7:18 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-16 05:35:53 PM  
Dear skimp, why are you looking at your man family's dicks?
 
2013-05-16 05:58:01 PM  
Well, assuming this is a fake, at least its a good one.
 
2013-05-16 05:59:29 PM  
Dear Ugly Junk,

You have worse problems

Regards,
 
2013-05-16 06:17:01 PM  
There's a pill for that. The proof is in my Yahoo spam folder
 
2013-05-16 07:20:20 PM  
Dear Prudence, why do you get really drunk and write yourself such silly letters?
 
2013-05-16 07:23:48 PM  
Dear Pee Wee,

Your brother was just happy to see you.
 
2013-05-16 07:24:35 PM  
Better complexion? Dude, he's the only one who doesn't have the herp.
 
2013-05-16 07:24:53 PM  
That was almost as good as the "Caught our landlord having sex with his dog, should we move out?" one.
 
2013-05-16 07:26:15 PM  
I liked my headline better......

//pout
 
2013-05-16 07:26:20 PM  
Good, but not as good as the gay incestual twin brothers.
 
2013-05-16 07:26:26 PM  
Dear Prudie,

Our bro can literally pitch a tent with his skin pickle but hates the outdoors. What should we do?

Human emotions,
 
2013-05-16 07:26:28 PM  
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-05-16 07:27:09 PM  
if any ladies are interested in german sausage

eip

bie?
 
2013-05-16 07:27:38 PM  
Dammit subby I just read this story and was going to submit it. (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)
 
2013-05-16 07:27:41 PM  
pfft. I knew a chick who was completely flat chested, while her younger sister had a great rack. Differences like these are more common than differences in hair or eye color.
 
2013-05-16 07:27:51 PM  
Short answer: No.

Long answer: Nooo.

/answer is usually longer, but not in the case of this letter writer, apparently.
 
2013-05-16 07:28:23 PM  
Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them
 
2013-05-16 07:28:44 PM  
On the extremely remote possibility that this is real: why care?

There's nothing that can be done about it.

Just don't let your wife see your brother naked and everything will be fine.
 
2013-05-16 07:28:50 PM  

fusillade762:


Once again I'm too slow to the thread.
 
2013-05-16 07:29:26 PM  
When did they see it? I always wear my shlong tarp when others are about
 
2013-05-16 07:29:46 PM  
Maybe he's a Shower?

/got nuttin
 
2013-05-16 07:30:02 PM  
In other news, you can no longer call him your little brother.  That is how he will now refer to you.
 
2013-05-16 07:30:29 PM  
My mom was nearly flat until she had us, and is still quite small chested,I am chesty and have been since 14. I have a few of her features, but not many. Most people would never guess we are mother and daughter as she is Asian and I pass for white. Apparently the boobies came down from somewhere on my dad's side.
 
2013-05-16 07:31:39 PM  

jim32rr: When did they see it? I always wear my shlong tarp when others are about


Camping trip with communal shower.

/I was gonna submit this too
//My headline was about as good.
 
2013-05-16 07:31:57 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-16 07:32:03 PM  
Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion


/penis
 
2013-05-16 07:32:26 PM  

Dwangerous: (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)


You don't need TF to submit a link...

Unless something has changed that I don't know about.
 
2013-05-16 07:33:22 PM  
Dear Prudence,

I run a humorous news aggregator website. Lately, I've had to load it up with paid Buzzfeed and Daily Mail links to cover my Faberge egg habit. The site members caught on, though, and so I've had to put in a bunch of plainly listed "featured partner" garbage links to get it out in the open. Will this distract people enough to get away with continuing to link half-assed fake advice columns on the regular in exchange for Pizza Hut coupons?

- Drunk Kentuckian
 
2013-05-16 07:34:35 PM  

js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them


^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.
 
2013-05-16 07:36:11 PM  
I'm torn between:
1. The letter writer made this up.
2. Prudie made it up.
3. Nobody has to make this shiat up, because life is just that completely weird.

I'd really love to know how Dan Savage would have responded to this, though.

If the brothers really want to know, I'd imagine genetic testing would tell which if any of them had a different father.

/wouldn't it be crazy if all three of them had different fathers?
//don't ask questions unless you're sure you really want to know the answer
 
2013-05-16 07:36:50 PM  
It's all about dick.
 
2013-05-16 07:37:40 PM  
Dan Savage's column is much better. this one is fake.
 
2013-05-16 07:38:00 PM  

Cagey B: Dear Prudence,

I run a humorous news aggregator website. Lately, I've had to load it up with paid Buzzfeed and Daily Mail links to cover my Faberge egg habit. The site members caught on, though, and so I've had to put in a bunch of plainly listed "featured partner" garbage links to get it out in the open. Will this distract people enough to get away with continuing to link half-assed fake advice columns on the regular in exchange for Pizza Hut coupons?

- Drunk Kentuckian


Damn, Young's Double Chocolate Stout  all over the screen
 
2013-05-16 07:38:17 PM  

awalkingecho: Dwangerous: (assuming that I was willing to pony up the big bucks and get TF this month)

You don't need TF to submit a link...

Unless something has changed that I don't know about.


A lot of liters believe that you need TF to get the link approved.
 
2013-05-16 07:39:37 PM  
Dear wrong wang:

Since you discovered this during the family gangbang/swingers ball it is possible.
 
2013-05-16 07:39:42 PM  

js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them


yes
 
2013-05-16 07:40:02 PM  

reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.


Some are better looking than others.
 
2013-05-16 07:40:08 PM  

octopied: My mom was nearly flat until she had us, and is still quite small chested,I am chesty and have been since 14. I have a few of her features, but not many. Most people would never guess we are mother and daughter as she is Asian and I pass for white. Apparently the boobies came down from somewhere on my dad's side.


I haven't checked, but if you have any pics in your profile, take them down now!  And your contact info!  You will not survive the onslaught of BIE requests!
 
2013-05-16 07:40:30 PM  

octopied: My mom was nearly flat until she had us, and is still quite small chested,I am chesty and have been since 14. I have a few of her features, but not many. Most people would never guess we are mother and daughter as she is Asian and I pass for white. Apparently the boobies came down from somewhere on my dad's side.


Prove it?
 
2013-05-16 07:42:37 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-16 07:42:38 PM  
Your brother having a bigger penis is no reason to go off half-cocked.
 
2013-05-16 07:42:57 PM  

gambitsgirl: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

yes


Georgia O'Keeffe disagrees.
 
2013-05-16 07:43:50 PM  

js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them


I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

/penis story bro
 
2013-05-16 07:44:30 PM  

octopied: My mom was nearly flat until she had us, and is still quite small chested,I am chesty and have been since 14. I have a few of her features, but not many. Most people would never guess we are mother and daughter as she is Asian and I pass for white. Apparently the boobies came down from somewhere on my dad's side.


I suspect your real father is Dolly Parton.
 
2013-05-16 07:44:32 PM  

AbbeySomeone: reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.

Some are better looking than others.


Yeah, speak for yourselves, guys. My penis is farking George Clooney.
 
2013-05-16 07:45:54 PM  

Dr.Zom: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

I've been told by multiple girlfriends that mine is "beautiful." The first time it happened - my first time actually - I thought she was just being nice. But since many women have now told me I assume it's pretty attractive. This does nothing for my luck with women, however, as "I have a beautiful penis" is a lousy pickup line.

/penis story bro


A rose is beautiful but I don't want one hanging between my legs.
 
2013-05-16 07:46:25 PM  

fusillade762: AbbeySomeone: reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.

Some are better looking than others.

Yeah, speak for yourselves, guys. My penis is farking George Clooney.


It is farking George clooney?
 
2013-05-16 07:47:26 PM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Also, some mere suggestions for penis terms that people can use in the thread.

Schlongzilla
Pennis the Menace
Wrinklebeast
Johnny Come Early
Third Arm of Justice
The Zipper Ripper
Everybody Loves the Nubbin
Gertrude Frankenstein
Twinkie
The Exxon Valdenis
Abdullah (the Tent Maker)
Donald Pump
Admiral James T. Cock
President Johnson
Kaptain Kielbasa
Old Drizzly
Chief of Staff
Pope John Pole III
Thor's Hammer
King Leer
The Molten Mushroom
Scepter of Sordidness
Horseman of the Ahumpalypse
Regurgitator of Rejuvenation
E.T.'s Stinkfinger
Niagara Balls
Meat Maelstrom
Trembling Torpedo
King Ohyeah
Buster McThunderstick
Madeleine Albright
The Viscount of Veins
The New York Post
Winnie the Cock
The Fleshy Winnebago
The Squinty Blowpop
The Slim Reaper
Jack Kerouwacker
The Naughtiest Cardinal
Master's Pincushion

/penis


"golf clap"

bravo +1 internets for you
 
2013-05-16 07:47:52 PM  

Sir Simon Milligan: fusillade762: AbbeySomeone: reklamfox: js34603: Is there such a thing as a pretty one? I gotta say none I've ever seen, mine included, made the word "pretty" come to mind.

/course vajays ain't pretty either but I still like them

^^^THIS

Wang's aren't pretty. They are fun and useful, but not the best lookin' thing out there.

Some are better looking than others.

Yeah, speak for yourselves, guys. My penis is farking George Clooney.

It is farking George clooney?


Hey good for him, I like girls but I might just go gay for George Clooney.
 
2013-05-16 07:47:57 PM  

fusillade762: My penis is farking George Clooney.


I didn't know Clooney was into that.  It'd be more believable if you said your penis was farking Tom Cruise or John Travolta.
 
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