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(Newser)   The bad news: Hugh Hefner, 87, is probably going to bid farewell to this earthly life long before his 27-year-old bride, Crystal Harris. The good news: When he does, Harris will have an awesome place to live   (newser.com) divider line 66
    More: Cool, Hugh Hefner, brides, Playboy Mansion, Playboy Enterprises  
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4861 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 16 May 2013 at 12:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-16 12:08:11 PM
Damn I was hoping he'd go the Mr. Burns route
l.wigflip.com
 
2013-05-16 12:48:58 PM
From all reports the inside of the mansion is a rundown shiathole. 45 years of coke parties tend to cause alot of wear and tear and Hef does not have the money he used to to maintain it
 
2013-05-16 12:58:17 PM
Hell I'd suck his dick for place like that too.
 
2013-05-16 12:58:31 PM
27?  Gross.
 
2013-05-16 01:02:04 PM

Shazam999: Hell I'd suck his dick for place like that too.


he's so old, he'd probably shoot dust....
 
2013-05-16 01:03:19 PM
She ain't messin' with no broke-broke...
 
2013-05-16 01:09:39 PM
YOU DON'T SAY
 
2013-05-16 01:10:42 PM
Parents must be so proud of their daughter...
 
2013-05-16 01:12:21 PM
5 years after he is dead she won't be able to afford the property taxes and will be moving to that van down by the river.
 
2013-05-16 01:12:51 PM
cant we just entomb her with his corpse like the wives of the great pharaohs ?
 
2013-05-16 01:13:00 PM

Buttknuckle: Parents must be so proud of their daughter...


At least she won't be moving back in with them.
 
ecl
2013-05-16 01:18:56 PM
Once Hef dies some other pornographer will buy that mansion and it will be the site of more pornos than you could shake a st.... err nevermind.
 
2013-05-16 01:20:48 PM
Taking bets on which lasts longer: Hef's vital functions, or this nth marriage of his. Please submit your guess in the form of months.
 
2013-05-16 01:24:02 PM

NuttierThanEver: From all reports the inside of the mansion is a rundown shiathole. 45 years of coke parties tend to cause alot of wear and tear and Hef does not have the money he used to to maintain it


I bet the basement is full of Hef's used Depends.
 
2013-05-16 01:27:31 PM

NuttierThanEver: From all reports the inside of the mansion is a rundown shiathole. 45 years of coke parties tend to cause alot of wear and tear and Hef does not have the money he used to to maintain it


Good thing that's not the house she get's when Heff dies.
 
2013-05-16 01:31:59 PM

NuttierThanEver: From all reports the inside of the mansion is a rundown shiathole. 45 years of coke parties tend to cause alot of wear and tear and Hef does not have the money he used to to maintain it


I recall hearing something similar.  Lots of problems with the old place.  And even if it were OK, you'd need to inherit a massive fortune to be able to afford to operate and maintain it.
 
2013-05-16 01:34:50 PM

monoski: 5 years after he is dead she won't be able to afford the property taxes and will be moving to that van down by the river.


/yep, it's covered.  back to work
 
2013-05-16 01:39:32 PM
There's enough jizz build up in the hot tub you can walk on it.  No thanks.
 
2013-05-16 01:41:58 PM
Nothing at all creepy about that. But when I hit on a perfectly legal 18 year old, every body goes all
EW EW EW.

WTF?
It's a double standard, I tell you.
 
2013-05-16 01:44:04 PM
She is a horrible woman. I hope Hef lives until he's 110, and wants sex every night.
 
2013-05-16 01:46:29 PM
"When I die, I'd like to come back as me." - Hugh Hefner
 
2013-05-16 01:50:07 PM
What's the point of Hefner marrying, anyway?
 
2013-05-16 01:53:15 PM

NuttierThanEver: From all reports the inside of the mansion is a rundown shiathole. 45 years of coke parties tend to cause alot of wear and tear and Hef does not have the money he used to to maintain it


This is 100% true. I've been there. Went to an animal rescue fundraiser there in 2007. After getting over the initial giddiness over being at, you know- the Playboy Mansion, I quickly realized that it was actually kind of a dump that they had spruced up for the party.The "playrooms" are especially run down. They have been left in stasis- look (and smell) exactly like they did in the '70's.

Eww.
 
2013-05-16 01:53:39 PM
well duh, the name of this game is called "The Last Wife Standing"

Whichever golddigging woman can stay married to him till he dies, wins the money.
 
2013-05-16 02:17:15 PM

jntaylor63: well duh, the name of this game is called "The Last Wife Standing"

Whichever golddigging woman can stay married to him till he dies, wins the money.


Musical charity.
When the heart stops beating. . .
 
2013-05-16 02:17:34 PM

darch: They have been left in stasis- look (and smell) exactly like they did in the '70's.


Is there any truth to the rumor that they have a room that looks like the interior of Custom 1970s rape van?
 
2013-05-16 02:19:03 PM
You know, if Hef had kicked the bucket in his 60s with a young blonde in his bed and a smile on his face we'd probably all agree that he did it right. But to be in your late 80s and struggling to maintain a facade of vitality and relevance is just sad.
 
2013-05-16 02:25:36 PM

metallion: Shazam999: Hell I'd suck his dick for place like that too.

he's so old, he'd probably shoot dust....


Better practice your cinnamon challege then...
 
2013-05-16 02:26:24 PM
I know his schtick if farking generic blonde bimbos, but this one is by far the most generic. There's nothing special about her.
 
2013-05-16 02:26:35 PM

dallylamma: You know, if Hef had kicked the bucket in his 60s with a young blonde in his bed and a smile on his face we'd probably all agree that he did it right. But to be in your late 80s and struggling to maintain a facade of vitality and relevance is just sad.


So true. The Internet caught Hef with his pants down. RIP Hef.
 
2013-05-16 02:33:34 PM
She'll probably be forced to sell it pretty quickly.  The upkeep and taxes would be prohibitive and it's kinda weird to have the swinginest pad in the whole world owned by a 30 year old widow.

/If the marriage lasts that long
 
2013-05-16 02:43:15 PM

Mercutio74: She'll probably be forced to sell it pretty quickly.  The upkeep and taxes would be prohibitive


I imagine Hef has a few bucks hanging around. He didn't shoot his wad over the $5M house and now has to live on hot dogs and grilled cheese.
 
2013-05-16 02:44:53 PM

GavinTheAlmighty: NuttierThanEver: From all reports the inside of the mansion is a rundown shiathole. 45 years of coke parties tend to cause alot of wear and tear and Hef does not have the money he used to to maintain it

I recall hearing something similar.  Lots of problems with the old place.  And even if it were OK, you'd need to inherit a massive fortune to be able to afford to operate and maintain it.


I think Clair St. Clair (yes stupid name, but she's cute as hell) was on Stern.  She said that was the case.  The carpets are NASTY, given that a lot of these girls have little dogs that they didn't feel the need to potty train, and there are areas of piss carpet, and other areas that no one ever goes in, so they are run down.

Kinda sad actually.
 
2013-05-16 02:48:04 PM

Tom_Slick: darch: They have been left in stasis- look (and smell) exactly like they did in the '70's.

Is there any truth to the rumor that they have a room that looks like the interior of Custom 1970s rape van?


Yep. Wish I knew how to post pix. I could show you. The one cool thing was that my wife wound up swimming nude in the Grotto. I'm fairly certain the water was clean... fairly.
 
2013-05-16 03:13:07 PM

appclayton: 27?  Gross.


Too old?
 
2013-05-16 03:15:27 PM

darch: Tom_Slick: darch: They have been left in stasis- look (and smell) exactly like they did in the '70's.

Is there any truth to the rumor that they have a room that looks like the interior of Custom 1970s rape van?

Yep. Wish I knew how to post pix. I could show you. The one cool thing was that my wife wound up swimming nude in the Grotto. I'm fairly certain the water was clean... fairly.


Pics?  EIP?
 
2013-05-16 03:17:41 PM

cryinoutloud: She is a horrible woman. I hope Hef lives until he's 110, and wants sex every night.


Oldest man alive with a boner
 
2013-05-16 03:20:01 PM
She looks happy
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-16 03:45:37 PM
Anyone going to the Hefner Estate Sale after he croaks is in for a disappointment. According to some Playmates who have been there lately, the Playboy Mansion is a mess inside. Full of dated, broken, and mismatched furniture dating between the 60's to the mid 80's, broken plumbing, and crusty shag carpets that are infested on occasion.

It's like the Astor family mansion, but with STDs.
 
2013-05-16 03:51:50 PM

dallylamma: You know, if Hef had kicked the bucket in his 60s with a young blonde in his bed and a smile on his face we'd probably all agree that he did it right. But to be in your late 80s and struggling to maintain a facade of vitality and relevance is just sad.


He should have retired as the face of the company 20 years ago and hired a consultant to revitalize the company's image.  Then they could have done an occasional "What's Hef up to" feature with him on a beach with a frozen drink and a blonde on his arm and it wouldn't look nearly as pathetic as it does now.
 
2013-05-16 04:23:05 PM
Ugh

I bet the carpet is just infested with cooties.

The only thing worse be having to be the guy who cleans the hot tub filters in a bath house.

Ick.
 
2013-05-16 04:25:29 PM

IrateShadow: dallylamma: You know, if Hef had kicked the bucket in his 60s with a young blonde in his bed and a smile on his face we'd probably all agree that he did it right. But to be in your late 80s and struggling to maintain a facade of vitality and relevance is just sad.

He should have retired as the face of the company 20 years ago and hired a consultant to revitalize the company's image.  Then they could have done an occasional "What's Hef up to" feature with him on a beach with a frozen drink and a blonde on his arm and it wouldn't look nearly as pathetic as it does now.


Well, his daughter ran most of the empire for about a dozen years, but old Hef wouldn't let go of the magazine, and they were unable to work together.
 
2013-05-16 04:40:49 PM
So from what everones saying is he has slug and snail infestation problems? Understandable with the size of the place.
 
2013-05-16 05:47:54 PM

vudukungfu: Nothing at all creepy about that. But when I hit on a perfectly legal 18 year old, every body goes all
EW EW EW.

WTF?
It's a double standard, I tell you.


It's probably more to do with "you" and less about the age itself. 

Secondly, he's old enough to be her "great grandfather" at this point.  So yes, it's a little creepy.
 
2013-05-16 05:52:06 PM

voodoowizard: NuttierThanEver: From all reports the inside of the mansion is a rundown shiathole. 45 years of coke parties tend to cause alot of wear and tear and Hef does not have the money he used to to maintain it

Good thing that's not the house she get's when Heff dies.


I see we're the only two who bothered to read TFA.
 
2013-05-16 06:54:10 PM

dallylamma: You know, if Hef had kicked the bucket in his 60s with a young blonde in his bed and a smile on his face we'd probably all agree that he did it right. But to be in your late 80s and struggling to maintain a facade of vitality and relevance is just sad.


img818.imageshack.us
I know right, and I heard the lawn is also a mess too.
Unfortunalty you can't see it
Because it is covered in HALF NAKED GIRLS

Hefner did exaclty as he pleased and made a fortune doing it
Deal With It
 
2013-05-16 06:59:24 PM

cookiefleck: I know his schtick if farking generic blonde bimbos, but this one is by far the most generic. There's nothing special about her.


That's because the special ones can all find richer men (Or women) who are half his age.
 
2013-05-16 07:01:56 PM

Brytanica1: Ugh

I bet the carpet is just infested with cooties.

The only thing worse be having to be the guy who cleans the hot tub filters in a bath house.

Ick.


Crabs and bed bugs fighting for dominance.
 
2013-05-16 07:03:52 PM

LectertheChef: Brytanica1: Ugh

I bet the carpet is just infested with cooties.

The only thing worse be having to be the guy who cleans the hot tub filters in a bath house.

Ick.

Crabs and bed bugs fighting for dominance.


Two Parasites Enter, One Parasite Leaves!!!!
 
2013-05-16 07:20:36 PM

Shazam999: darch: Tom_Slick: darch: They have been left in stasis- look (and smell) exactly like they did in the '70's.

Is there any truth to the rumor that they have a room that looks like the interior of Custom 1970s rape van?

Yep. Wish I knew how to post pix. I could show you. The one cool thing was that my wife wound up swimming nude in the Grotto. I'm fairly certain the water was clean... fairly.

Pics?  EIP?


Oh there's pix alright...
 
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