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(International Business Times)   I know buying a real doll or fleshlight can be embarrassing, but that's no reason to resort to having sex with a hornet's nest   (ibtimes.co.uk) divider line 54
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2013-05-15 10:02:38 PM

illannoyin: Once your needs are being met in a way that is comparable (in some cases even superior) to a woman you'll soon find that you behave more rationally around them. You won't put up with a manipulative woman's BS anymore. Which, of course, will make them 1000% more attracted to you.


Man, I bet "jolly" isn't going to be one of the words they'll use to describe your porn collection when you die.
 
2013-05-15 10:06:51 PM

IronTom: illannoyin: I can understand the real doll part but a fleshlight? No.

Women are always going on about how they don't need a man. How their vibrator liberated and empowered them and blah blah blah. But guys should be ashamed or embarrassed to use a sex toy. Why? The popular notion is that they are pathetic losers who can't get any woman to fark them so they have to resort to artificial means of satisfaction. The truth is it is much easier for women than men to have sex whenever they want it. Guys have to jump through a lot more hoops before a woman allows a man to have sex with her. For men sex is an activity that's not physically possible without arousal. Women just have to be wiling. If she is not physically aroused that is easily overcome.

Also, unlike men, no matter what her personality flaws may be there are plenty of guys who aren't going to pass up the chance to have sex. She might be a crazy shrew but hey, she's being cool now and wants to fark! I'm not some pathetic loser who needs a fleshlight. I'm a real man who farks real live women! No matter how horrible a person she is.

♫Doesn't matter, had sex!♫ It's funny because it's true.

It is also true that when you have unlimited access to a method of sexual release that is equal to what a woman's equipment has to offer they no longer control the sexual transaction. This frightens many women as it takes away their most powerful means of manipulating men.

So, I think guys should do the same as women. Get a fleshlight, a bottle of gun oil, and keep your balls empty.

Once your needs are being met in a way that is comparable (in some cases even superior) to a woman you'll soon find that you behave more rationally around them. You won't put up with a manipulative woman's BS anymore. Which, of course, will make them 1000% more attracted to you.

Uh huh, they'll be attracted to a guy that jerks off all the time.


Me thinks this cunning plan wasn't thought all the way through.

Although I'm now laughing imagining throwing down the gauntlet on the first date by tossing a sexdoll on the couch and saying "beat THAT!"
 
2013-05-15 11:14:52 PM

fanbladesaresharp: bingethinker: Semen on the Wasps is the name of my retro-punk band.

Nah. Needs some angrier version in some archaic language.


Ooh yeah. Maybe the equivalent Gaelic phrase for "Semen on the F**kin' English Wasps".
 
2013-05-16 09:53:38 AM

fanbladesaresharp: PunGent: fanbladesaresharp: Uh if you're already in a "toy shoppe" why is it embarassing? Everybody knows why you're there before you even open your mouth. Have fun with whatever kink you're into. That's the point of having those, uhh.....things. The hornets nest? Well that's a literal one, the figurative one is if your partner finds out about this kink and didn't tell them or invite them to partake.

/doesn't have a real doll
//or a fleshlight
///ceiling swing is another story.

Heh...that ceiling swing how you got your handle?

Uh no. That's from trying to turn a floor fan into my personal spirograph when I was 8 or 9. Doesn't work like you think it should. Note of caution on swings; make sure they're anchored into a stud or your ceiling comes down with it, and for the love of god take out the eye hooks if you have guests over. You can't blame that shiat on houseplants.


Ah, the stuff we do when we're young...in my case, I should DEFINITELY be short an eyeball, just got lucky.
 
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