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(International Business Times)   I know buying a real doll or fleshlight can be embarrassing, but that's no reason to resort to having sex with a hornet's nest   (ibtimes.co.uk) divider line 54
    More: Weird  
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54 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2013-05-15 08:23:09 PM
Two things:

1. What. The. Fark?!

2. What does this fetishistic misadventure have to do with business?
 
2013-05-15 08:31:56 PM
"The original source for the story has now been traced to a satirical website in Sweden, which reported the stinging tale back in September, 2012."

Also it was greenlit yesterday.

ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZ
 
2013-05-15 08:42:41 PM
The 35-year-old, known only as Hasse, had 146 sting marks on his body, including 54 to his genitals, News Sweden said.

Yeah, A for effort, but, no.

/ bullshiat.
 
2013-05-15 08:43:46 PM
www.netbrawl.com
 
2013-05-15 08:44:25 PM
The nest seems rather dry...perhaps he used some royal petroleum jelly for lube?
 
2013-05-15 08:45:12 PM
Obligatory Kwame reference before this gets the Redlight Duphammer
 
2013-05-15 08:47:17 PM
Uh if you're already in a "toy shoppe" why is it embarassing? Everybody knows why you're there before you even open your mouth. Have fun with whatever kink you're into. That's the point of having those, uhh.....things. The hornets nest? Well that's a literal one, the figurative one is if your partner finds out about this kink and didn't tell them or invite them to partake.

/doesn't have a real doll
//or a fleshlight
///ceiling swing is another story.
 
2013-05-15 08:47:27 PM
Says you, subby. Right before the venom overwhelms you get off in a superb fashion. It's like auto-erotic asphyxiation but 100X better.
/totally serious
 
2013-05-15 08:48:15 PM

Shadow Blasko: Obligatory Kwame reference before this gets the Redlight Duphammer


I was going to make the embarrassing real doll kwame joke but I see this has been covered.
 
2013-05-15 08:48:39 PM
That's it. F*ck auto-play video. Last time I'm clicking on a Business Times link.
 
2013-05-15 08:49:13 PM
Well, I hate to say it but..."old news is old news".  I saw this story a couple of days ago [not being ironic or trendoid or hipster-ish]. Just saying that FARK is getting a bit slow insofar as "new stuff" goes.  Not that I can do any better, of course. Jus' sayin'.
 
2013-05-15 08:49:34 PM

fanbladesaresharp: Uh if you're already in a "toy shoppe" why is it embarassing? Everybody knows why you're there before you even open your mouth. Have fun with whatever kink you're into. That's the point of having those, uhh.....things. The hornets nest? Well that's a literal one, the figurative one is if your partner finds out about this kink and didn't tell them or invite them to partake.

/doesn't have a real doll
//or a fleshlight
///ceiling swing is another story.


Heh...that ceiling swing how you got your handle?
 
2013-05-15 08:49:38 PM
i.cdn.turner.com

Look at him. He's totally asking for it.
 
2013-05-15 08:50:15 PM

choo: "The original source for the story has now been traced to a satirical website in Sweden, which reported the stinging tale back in September, 2012."

Also it was greenlit yesterday.

ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZ


That's what she said?
 
2013-05-15 08:53:48 PM
He was horny.
 
2013-05-15 08:54:10 PM
Did nobody else notice the first time around that Hasse is the actor from the Dragon Tattoo series?  The one that has the Girl who kicked the Hornets Nest?
 
2013-05-15 08:55:31 PM
who does this?
 
2013-05-15 08:55:45 PM
biatch better have my honey.
 
2013-05-15 08:56:29 PM

bdub77: That's what she said?


choosepp.net
 
2013-05-15 08:56:37 PM
Luckily, 3D printing will enable mankind unrivaled access to all the dildos and flesh light DIY kits imaginable. The future is now and it's a download away from a 12" hot dragon cock with a griffin vagina at the tip.
 
2013-05-15 08:57:06 PM

choo: "The original source for the story has now been traced to a satirical website in Sweden, which reported the stinging tale back in September, 2012."

Also it was greenlit yesterday.

ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZ


Bzzzz?
 
2013-05-15 08:57:11 PM
Yawn....
Who greenlit this story AGAIN?

Put the booze down and PAY ATTENTION!
 
2013-05-15 08:58:22 PM
Well the stings would cause greater swelling....
 
2013-05-15 08:59:31 PM
Perfect one for the darwin awards nomination.
 
2013-05-15 09:00:23 PM
A Swedish friend posted this:

"Bertil Ståhfrääs"...taken from "ståfräs" which you may now google translate:http://translate.google.com/#sv/en/st%C3%A5fr%C3%A4s
 
2013-05-15 09:00:28 PM
An autopsy of Hasse's body showed semen on some of the dead wasps and a number of the victim's pubic hair was found at the entrance of the nest. His fingerprints were also found on the nest, leading the police to believe he had been trying to have sex with the hornet's nest when he was stung to death.

Trying? I think he succeeded.
 
2013-05-15 09:00:55 PM
And I thought the Bengazi links were repititious.
 
2013-05-15 09:00:58 PM
Kind of related...

art.penny-arcade.com
 
2013-05-15 09:01:17 PM

PunGent: fanbladesaresharp: Uh if you're already in a "toy shoppe" why is it embarassing? Everybody knows why you're there before you even open your mouth. Have fun with whatever kink you're into. That's the point of having those, uhh.....things. The hornets nest? Well that's a literal one, the figurative one is if your partner finds out about this kink and didn't tell them or invite them to partake.

/doesn't have a real doll
//or a fleshlight
///ceiling swing is another story.

Heh...that ceiling swing how you got your handle?


Lulzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 
2013-05-15 09:02:04 PM
Typical..

www.emergiblog.com
 
2013-05-15 09:04:03 PM
What a buzzkill.
 
2013-05-15 09:04:48 PM
How do they know it was the whole nest? Maybe it was just one special hornet *inside* the nest.
 
2013-05-15 09:06:30 PM

PunGent: fanbladesaresharp: Uh if you're already in a "toy shoppe" why is it embarassing? Everybody knows why you're there before you even open your mouth. Have fun with whatever kink you're into. That's the point of having those, uhh.....things. The hornets nest? Well that's a literal one, the figurative one is if your partner finds out about this kink and didn't tell them or invite them to partake.

/doesn't have a real doll
//or a fleshlight
///ceiling swing is another story.

Heh...that ceiling swing how you got your handle?


Uh no. That's from trying to turn a floor fan into my personal spirograph when I was 8 or 9. Doesn't work like you think it should. Note of caution on swings; make sure they're anchored into a stud or your ceiling comes down with it, and for the love of god take out the eye hooks if you have guests over. You can't blame that shiat on houseplants.
 
2013-05-15 09:08:04 PM
 
2013-05-15 09:08:06 PM
Heh, semen on the wasps. Take that, yuppie scum!
 
2013-05-15 09:09:47 PM
He died of prophylactic shock.
 
2013-05-15 09:10:55 PM
Uhhhh.....


....thanks Obama?
 
2013-05-15 09:14:25 PM

choo: "The original source for the story has now been traced to a satirical website in Sweden, which reported the stinging tale back in September, 2012."

Also it was greenlit yesterday.

ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZ


No, no, this is a different guy.
 
2013-05-15 09:16:08 PM
Evolution in action.
 
2013-05-15 09:17:07 PM
Semen on the Wasps is the name of my retro-punk band.
 
2013-05-15 09:18:42 PM
YOLO
 
2013-05-15 09:21:44 PM
Things to have sex with before I die...
 
2013-05-15 09:21:51 PM

bingethinker: Semen on the Wasps is the name of my retro-punk band.


Nah. Needs some angrier version in some archaic language.
 
2013-05-15 09:22:11 PM
II had a Fleshlight.  Those things take more maintenance than a girlfriend.  At least the girlfriend can clean herself up when you are done.  Mine fell on the floor once, and got covered in cat fur.  Threw it out after that.
 
2013-05-15 09:22:20 PM
Stieg Larssen's Lost novel:   The Boy Who Farked the Hornet's Nest.
 
2013-05-15 09:28:08 PM

The Angry Hand of God: II had a Fleshlight.  Those things take more maintenance than a girlfriend.  At least the girlfriend can clean herself up when you are done.   Mine fell on the floor once, and got covered in cat fur.  Threw it out after that.


Go on.....
 
2013-05-15 09:41:40 PM
I went a googled what a fleshlight is.  Apparently they have a video describing how to use is with a hot scantily clad female telling you what to do.  Basically, it's way, way too much work to have to do to farkin play with yourself.  Then there is the clean up afterward when you should be sleeping.
 
2013-05-15 09:43:59 PM
I can understand the real doll part but a fleshlight? No.

Women are always going on about how they don't need a man. How their vibrator liberated and empowered them and blah blah blah. But guys should be ashamed or embarrassed to use a sex toy. Why? The popular notion is that they are pathetic losers who can't get any woman to fark them so they have to resort to artificial means of satisfaction. The truth is it is much easier for women than men to have sex whenever they want it. Guys have to jump through a lot more hoops before a woman allows a man to have sex with her. For men sex is an activity that's not physically possible without arousal. Women just have to be wiling. If she is not physically aroused that is easily overcome.

Also, unlike men, no matter what her personality flaws may be there are plenty of guys who aren't going to pass up the chance to have sex. She might be a crazy shrew but hey, she's being cool now and wants to fark! I'm not some pathetic loser who needs a fleshlight. I'm a real man who farks real live women! No matter how horrible a person she is.

♫Doesn't matter, had sex!♫ It's funny because it's true.

It is also true that when you have unlimited access to a method of sexual release that is equal to what a woman's equipment has to offer they no longer control the sexual transaction. This frightens many women as it takes away their most powerful means of manipulating men.

So, I think guys should do the same as women. Get a fleshlight, a bottle of gun oil, and keep your balls empty.

Once your needs are being met in a way that is comparable (in some cases even superior) to a woman you'll soon find that you behave more rationally around them. You won't put up with a manipulative woman's BS anymore. Which, of course, will make them 1000% more attracted to you.
 
2013-05-15 09:50:17 PM

illannoyin: I can understand the real doll part but a fleshlight? No.

Women are always going on about how they don't need a man. How their vibrator liberated and empowered them and blah blah blah. But guys should be ashamed or embarrassed to use a sex toy. Why? The popular notion is that they are pathetic losers who can't get any woman to fark them so they have to resort to artificial means of satisfaction. The truth is it is much easier for women than men to have sex whenever they want it. Guys have to jump through a lot more hoops before a woman allows a man to have sex with her. For men sex is an activity that's not physically possible without arousal. Women just have to be wiling. If she is not physically aroused that is easily overcome.

Also, unlike men, no matter what her personality flaws may be there are plenty of guys who aren't going to pass up the chance to have sex. She might be a crazy shrew but hey, she's being cool now and wants to fark! I'm not some pathetic loser who needs a fleshlight. I'm a real man who farks real live women! No matter how horrible a person she is.

♫Doesn't matter, had sex!♫ It's funny because it's true.

It is also true that when you have unlimited access to a method of sexual release that is equal to what a woman's equipment has to offer they no longer control the sexual transaction. This frightens many women as it takes away their most powerful means of manipulating men.

So, I think guys should do the same as women. Get a fleshlight, a bottle of gun oil, and keep your balls empty.

Once your needs are being met in a way that is comparable (in some cases even superior) to a woman you'll soon find that you behave more rationally around them. You won't put up with a manipulative woman's BS anymore. Which, of course, will make them 1000% more attracted to you.


Uh huh, they'll be attracted to a guy that jerks off all the time.
 
2013-05-15 09:59:57 PM

MelGoesOnTour: Well, I hate to say it but..."old news is old news".  I saw this story a couple of days ago [not being ironic or trendoid or hipster-ish]. Just saying that FARK is getting a bit slow insofar as "new stuff" goes.  Not that I can do any better, of course. Jus' sayin'.


Yeah. Our local radio station covered this one yesterday. Fark be slippin' if The Afternoon Buzz beats them to a story.
 
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