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(The New Republic)   Protip for Moscow CIA guys: If you don't have a "tech" to help with your disguise, "you usually come out looking like a gay mad scientist"   (newrepublic.com) divider line 76
    More: Fail, Moscow CIA, CIA, Swiss Army, North Caucasus, Anna Chapman, FSB, Keystone cops, operations officer  
•       •       •

14974 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 May 2013 at 1:41 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



76 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-05-15 01:11:06 PM  
Sometimes I like to drive like I'm trying to lose a tail. The other times I randomly follow people and try to figure out their first name.
 
2013-05-15 01:44:09 PM  
www.celebrities-with-diseases.com
 
2013-05-15 01:47:10 PM  
If only our spies were as surgically effective and well-trained as their adversaries...
lh3.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-05-15 01:47:26 PM  
media.web.britannica.com

a1.ec-images.myspacecdn.com

3.bp.blogspot.com

Just a few disguise suggestions
 
2013-05-15 01:49:02 PM  

Wrath of Heaven: If only our spies were as surgically effective and well-trained as their adversaries...
[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 749x939]


I would not have been able to resist that.
 
2013-05-15 01:50:22 PM  
Can we be a little more obvious?

The idea is to look like a normal person or tourist; not a Bond villain in transit.
 
2013-05-15 01:50:53 PM  

8 inches: Wrath of Heaven: If only our spies were as surgically effective and well-trained as their adversaries...
[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 749x939]

I would not have been able to resist that.


Hellz no, I don't give a rats ass about this cloak&dagger crap... I just wanted to post Anna Chapman.
 
2013-05-15 01:51:48 PM  
latimesblogs.latimes.com
 
2013-05-15 01:53:15 PM  
Oh please, the odds of this guy actually being a CIA spy are zero.
 
2013-05-15 01:54:07 PM  

Wolf_Blitzer: Oh please, the odds of this guy actually being a CIA spy are zero.


Wasn't that the same scenario with SugarTits?
 
2013-05-15 01:54:26 PM  
He did not look fabulous.
 
2013-05-15 01:54:43 PM  
Ever wonder why the CIA recruits people with experience in the theater arts?
 
2013-05-15 01:55:01 PM  
WHAT did Obama know about the wig and WHEN did he know it.
 
2013-05-15 01:56:47 PM  
i.pgcdn.com
 
2013-05-15 01:56:51 PM  

Wrath of Heaven: If only our spies were as surgically effective and well-trained as their adversaries...
[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 749x939]


Looks like she was disguised with a heavy dose of Photoshop.
 
2013-05-15 01:58:35 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: Sometimes I like to drive like I'm trying to lose a tail. The other times I randomly follow people and try to figure out their first name.


I just got off the phone with a "james bond" so I'm getting a kick out of this thread.
 
2013-05-15 02:02:09 PM  
Have we learned nothing from this documentary?

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-05-15 02:02:44 PM  
www.wreckamovie.com
 
2013-05-15 02:02:46 PM  
I saw that bad wig supposed spy guy on the news this morning and assumed it was some sort of media stunt/joke.
 
2013-05-15 02:04:23 PM  
ts1.mm.bing.net
American Express Travelers checks
Don't spy without it.
 
2013-05-15 02:04:43 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-15 02:05:08 PM  
What? It works on TV.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-15 02:05:39 PM  
FTFA

One Russia analyst jokingly speculated that Fogle was a double agent working for the FSB, sent in to make the CIA look bad. "I'm only half-joking," he added.
 
2013-05-15 02:06:45 PM  
i4.ytimg.com
 
2013-05-15 02:07:38 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Wrath of Heaven: If only our spies were as surgically effective and well-trained as their adversaries...
[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 749x939]

Looks like she was disguised with a heavy dose of Photoshop.


No doubt after Maxim did their dirty work, but she still holds up in her candids:

i.huffpost.comrt.comimages.jobsnhire.com

Also, for SCIENCE, more touched-up shots:

www.antalyatv.comcdn2.mademan.com
 
2013-05-15 02:09:41 PM  
www.dodlive.mil
 
2013-05-15 02:10:11 PM  
What if you are a "gay mad scientist"?

I have to admit to watching "The Americans" and all the wig changes and nobody noticing seemed strange.  Especially when they ended up getting hot and heavy with someone while wearing the wig and it never came loose.
 
2013-05-15 02:11:42 PM  
For more SCIENCE, I wanted to post her candid explicit shots too, but I'll quit while I'm head of the mods... for the time being anyway.

/They're out there
//And they're magnificent
///And farking kinky
 
2013-05-15 02:13:39 PM  
Comrade, I have blue jeans and Bic lighter for you.
 
2013-05-15 02:15:34 PM  
Stupid budget cuts. -_-
 
2013-05-15 02:15:56 PM  

brap: I saw that bad wig supposed spy guy on the news this morning and assumed it was some sort of media stunt/joke.


I think I have that wig.
The beard is even more fabulous.
 
2013-05-15 02:16:48 PM  

BizarreMan: What if you are a "gay mad scientist"?

I have to admit to watching "The Americans" and all the wig changes and nobody noticing seemed strange.  Especially when they ended up getting hot and heavy with someone while wearing the wig and it never came loose.


The show folks have heard the "How does the wig stay on" stuff and are hintint that we may see the sophisticated Roooshen clip and adhesive technology.

Matt says he once stood on the set in the disguise and nobody figured out it was him.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/01/americans-finale_n_3195248. ht ml?utm_hp_ref=maureen-ryan

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/02/the-americans-cast-finale_n _3 205271.html?utm_hp_ref=maureen-ryan
 
2013-05-15 02:21:29 PM  
Currently disguised as US Senator.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-15 02:31:27 PM  

iheartscotch: Can we be a little more obvious?

The idea is to look like a normal person or tourist; not a Bond villain in transit.


But who would suspect a gay mad scientist?
 
2013-05-15 02:31:51 PM  
cdn.twentytwowords.com
 
2013-05-15 02:31:55 PM  

bighairyguy: [www.dodlive.mil image 500x391]


I first thought of Javier B in "Skyfall," but you trumped me with that image

/and I can't thank you enough
 
2013-05-15 02:35:01 PM  
Not every CIA intern is a dolt ... read this guy's book. Wonderful stuff.

img2.imagesbn.com

That's probably Mendez on the cover but no one knows for sure.

/wink
 
2013-05-15 02:36:58 PM  
What, no false buck teeth?
 
2013-05-15 02:42:01 PM  
So how does a gay mad scientist look different from a straight mad scientist?
 
2013-05-15 02:44:18 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: Not every CIA intern is a dolt ... read this guy's book. Wonderful stuff.


But they're all practiced liars. I wouldn't believe a word of that book.
 
2013-05-15 02:49:22 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: Not every CIA intern is a dolt ... read this guy's book. Wonderful stuff.

[img2.imagesbn.com image 252x400]

That's probably Mendez on the cover but no one knows for sure.

/wink


Argo was based on that book.
 
2013-05-15 03:02:40 PM  

Lee Jackson Beauregard: So how does a gay mad scientist look different from a straight mad scientist?


The Prada lab coat, and the latex gloves by Jean Paul Gaultier are a dead giveaway.
 
2013-05-15 03:03:36 PM  

pag1107: Clemkadidlefark: Not every CIA intern is a dolt ... read this guy's book. Wonderful stuff.

[img2.imagesbn.com image 252x400]

That's probably Mendez on the cover but no one knows for sure.

/wink

Argo was based on that book.


I thought Argo was based on the book named "Argo"
binaryapi.ap.org

yes, yes, same author
 
2013-05-15 03:14:02 PM  

A Shambling Mound: What? It works on TV.


The 80s KGB had some pretty effective disguises. Apparently, you can go down on a FBI secretary while wearing them and not have the wig and moustache come off.
 
2013-05-15 03:15:10 PM  

Kanemano: pag1107: Clemkadidlefark: Not every CIA intern is a dolt ... read this guy's book. Wonderful stuff.

[img2.imagesbn.com image 252x400]

That's probably Mendez on the cover but no one knows for sure.

/wink

Argo was based on that book.

I thought Argo was based on the book named "Argo"
[binaryapi.ap.org image 339x512]

yes, yes, same author


Either way I bet the 2nd author did all the heavy lifting for the book.
 
2013-05-15 03:15:35 PM  

Wrath of Heaven: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Wrath of Heaven: If only our spies were as surgically effective and well-trained as their adversaries...
[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 749x939]

Looks like she was disguised with a heavy dose of Photoshop.

No doubt after Maxim did their dirty work, but she still holds up in her candids:



Also, for SCIENCE, more touched-up shots:


Eagerly awaiting the TV movie with Jewel Staite.
 
2013-05-15 03:21:04 PM  
Paging Dr Casanova Frankenstein.

media.theiapolis.com
 
2013-05-15 03:29:21 PM  

Wrath of Heaven: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Wrath of Heaven: If only our spies were as surgically effective and well-trained as their adversaries...
[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 749x939]

Looks like she was disguised with a heavy dose of Photoshop.

No doubt after Maxim did their dirty work, but she still holds up in her candids:



images.jobsnhire.com
 

Also, for SCIENCE, more touched-up shots:

[www.antalyatv.com image 640x426][cdn2.mademan.com image 600x627]


images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-05-15 03:31:12 PM  

FunkOut: [latimesblogs.latimes.com image 595x393]


I was going to go with Anderson Cooper, but I like yours better.
 
2013-05-15 03:32:03 PM  
Came for this...

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-15 03:33:43 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Wrath of Heaven: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Wrath of Heaven: If only our spies were as surgically effective and well-trained as their adversaries...
[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 749x939]

Looks like she was disguised with a heavy dose of Photoshop.

No doubt after Maxim did their dirty work, but she still holds up in her candids:

Also, for SCIENCE, more touched-up shots:

Eagerly awaiting the TV movie with Jewel Staite.


I like the way you think.
R-rated, please.


/please??!??!
 
2013-05-15 03:35:00 PM  
blog.eloqua.com
 
2013-05-15 03:41:18 PM  
Have you forgotten about me already ,baby ?

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-15 03:42:00 PM  
From the article I gather that the main CIA guys are so busy secretly killing people in Yemen or Pakistan that the Moscow bureau has to be operated by people working on their Spying merit badge.
 
2013-05-15 03:55:02 PM  

bighairyguy: [www.dodlive.mil image 500x391]


Leaving satisfied....
 
2013-05-15 04:01:37 PM  
FIrst of all, why are we spying on Russia?  We've been friends for a while.   And they are certainly not any sort of a threat.

In any case, it seems to me that they were just looking to try to embarass the US by saying, "we caught one of your spies!!"  When in fact, all they did was found some poor dolt hanging around there, threw a wig on his head, said they found some "spy stuff", and made a big media stink out of it.
 
2013-05-15 04:14:57 PM  
Also *NSFW* Anna Chapman (Contains teh boobies)

Video

Pics  (Cursed slideshow, but it's comprehensive and you'll totes fap to it)
 
2013-05-15 04:23:05 PM  

durbnpoisn: FIrst of all, why are we spying on Russia?  We've been friends for a while.   And they are certainly not any sort of a threat.

In any case, it seems to me that they were just looking to try to embarass the US by saying, "we caught one of your spies!!"  When in fact, all they did was found some poor dolt hanging around there, threw a wig on his head, said they found some "spy stuff", and made a big media stink out of it.


Psst.  Hey, you promise not to tell?  We have to maintain surveillance because we still have ICMB missiles aimed at them from converted grain silos, sunken in secret locations like...

/Be right back - somebody's at the door
 
2013-05-15 05:04:02 PM  

SoupJohnB: Psst. Hey, you promise not to tell? We have to maintain surveillance because we still have ICMB missiles aimed at them from converted grain silos, sunken in secret locations like...

/Be right back - somebody's at the door


What's secret about it? We still have ~2,000 operationally deployed nuclear warheads, and I guarantee most are still pointed at Russia.

Just because the Cold War ended decades ago, doesn't make them our best friends. Our interests and theirs are still frequently at odds.
 
2013-05-15 05:05:53 PM  
Gene Parmesan
 
2013-05-15 05:11:08 PM  
www.independent.co.uk4.bp.blogspot.com

Why did we send Simple Jack to Russia to spy for us???
 
2013-05-15 05:23:28 PM  

Wolf_Blitzer: SoupJohnB: Psst. Hey, you promise not to tell? We have to maintain surveillance because we still have ICMB missiles aimed at them from converted grain silos, sunken in secret locations like...

/Be right back - somebody's at the door

What's secret about it? We still have ~2,000 operationally deployed nuclear warheads, and I guarantee most are still pointed at Russia.

Just because the Cold War ended decades ago, doesn't make them our best friends. Our interests and theirs are still frequently at odds.


I hear ya, man.  Was just attempting a joke about the USAF installations and alleged slackers in Minot in the news

/sooo last week, I guess
 
2013-05-15 05:24:30 PM  

headncloudz: [www.independent.co.uk image 460x345][4.bp.blogspot.com image 240x160]

Why did we send Simple Jack Tom Petty to Russia to spy for us???


FTFY

/he's gonna get it
 
2013-05-15 05:35:21 PM  
www.independent.co.uk
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-15 05:42:54 PM  
Somehow, I have a feeling the reaction to this will be Putin phoning Obama, laughing for ten minutes, then posting a misspelled status on Facebook about pwning the CIA.
 
2013-05-15 05:48:56 PM  
Dude... a farking logo-less olive drab fitted cap?  A Rite-In-The-Rain pad?

fark, why not just wear a pair of 5.11s and some Oakley M frames?
 
2013-05-15 05:54:00 PM  
Don't worry. In Russia time is the disguise tech for hot women.

Now...

cdn2.mademan.com

In five years...

www.timcopejourneys.com

Also...

i.imgur.com

What the fark am I doing here? I'm not mad or gay!

/I got a 'Rusty Venture' from my girlfriend last weekend
 
2013-05-15 06:17:35 PM  
www.fantasyleaguegm.com
 
2013-05-15 08:33:50 PM  

DeathCipris: Wrath of Heaven: Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Wrath of Heaven: If only our spies were as surgically effective and well-trained as their adversaries...
[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 749x939]

Looks like she was disguised with a heavy dose of Photoshop.

No doubt after Maxim did their dirty work, but she still holds up in her candids:


[images.jobsnhire.com image 600x419]

Also, for SCIENCE, more touched-up shots:

[www.antalyatv.com image 640x426][cdn2.mademan.com image 600x627]

[images3.wikia.nocookie.net image 661x924]


Wait, that Isn't Jewel Staite?  I suddenly have a hankering for some gum.

i44.tinypic.com
 
2013-05-15 11:19:20 PM  
Good gravy, those tacky popups.
 
2013-05-16 12:07:26 AM  

theknuckler_33: [i4.ytimg.com image 480x360]


"Do it!"
 
2013-05-16 12:09:07 AM  
Wanted for questioning, possible counter-espionage deal:

v025o.popscreen.com

s3.sidereel.com
 
2013-05-16 12:55:04 PM  
Ryan Fogle was in my high school class. I hung out with him, nice guy; did some theater production work with him. Hoping he shows up to whatever reunion is next, I'd love ti talk to him.
 
2013-05-16 04:49:12 PM  

Wolf_Blitzer: SoupJohnB: Psst. Hey, you promise not to tell? We have to maintain surveillance because we still have ICMB missiles aimed at them from converted grain silos, sunken in secret locations like...

/Be right back - somebody's at the door

What's secret about it? We still have ~2,000 operationally deployed nuclear warheads, and I guarantee most are still pointed at Russia.

Just because the Cold War ended decades ago, doesn't make them our best friends. Our interests and theirs are still frequently at odds.


"Because this year it suits them to roll over on their backs and play nice doggie? Because this year they're on the floor anyway? You ninny! All the more reason to spy the living daylights out of them. Kick them in the balls every time they get to their knees."  Link
 
Ook
2013-05-16 05:30:03 PM  

LewDux: [www.independent.co.uk image 460x345]
[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x281]


Oh man, +1 internet for referencing my favorite movie

/"Then we're off, to Haiti"
 
2013-05-16 07:04:58 PM  
No, THIS is a gay mad scientist, and he's a lot cuter and more talented.

tvmedia.ign.com
 
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