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(Uproxx)   What a bitter Trekkie really wants from Star Trek Into Darkness   (uproxx.com) divider line 204
    More: Spiffy, Star Trek, Peter Weller, IDW  
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5730 clicks; posted to Geek » on 15 May 2013 at 1:15 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-15 12:51:17 PM
www.themarysue.com
 
2013-05-15 01:08:32 PM
Moar Tribbles.
 
2013-05-15 01:21:56 PM

cretinbob: [www.themarysue.com image 580x433]


I see you and raise you triple...

www.beertripper.com
 
2013-05-15 01:22:36 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-15 01:22:54 PM
Insanely tangentially references to two second clips from the third episode of the second scene of the animated series, from 2/3s of the way through the scene. Freeze frame it and you'll know what I mean.
 
2013-05-15 01:23:48 PM
He's wrong. The standout performance is Karl Urban as Bones. He captured the same attitude that DeForest Kelly brought to the role without being a parody. Damn freaked me out in the first film.
 
2013-05-15 01:25:01 PM

SPOILERS BELOW
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Well, you're going to mostly be happy then.

Diogenes: Moar Tribbles.


That, too.
 
2013-05-15 01:25:12 PM
What a bitter Trekkie really wants from Star Trek Into Darkness

Redundant headline is redundant.
 
2013-05-15 01:27:29 PM
I'm hoping that this movie rewrites Star Trek history so the previous movie didn't happen.
 
2013-05-15 01:30:45 PM

gimmegimme: I'm hoping that this movie rewrites Star Trek history so the previous movie didn't happen.


What have you got against lens flare?
 
2013-05-15 01:32:17 PM

gimmegimme: I'm hoping that this movie rewrites Star Trek history so the previous movie didn't happen.


I'm sorry, do you mean the movie that re-invigorated a failing franchise, stayed true to the characters while developing it's own mythos and made Star Trek cool again? THAT movie?

Do you really want Nemesis to be the last Trek movie to have come out?
 
2013-05-15 01:34:29 PM
Lightsabers would be a start.
 
2013-05-15 01:35:34 PM
Hah!

A Bitter Trekkie wants the Abrams abortions to not even exist, and Abrams giving handjobs on a streetcorner for being such a shiatty writer/director.

/he doesn't even have to be broke. He can still have all his money. He just should have a compulsion to give handjobs on streetcorners.
 
2013-05-15 01:35:34 PM
Oh noes, people might call me a nerd if I don't suck the new Trek movies dick.

Whaa.
 
2013-05-15 01:36:05 PM
I want Peter Weller to say "No matter where you go, there you are."
 
2013-05-15 01:39:12 PM

farkeruk: He's wrong. The standout performance is Karl Urban as Bones. He captured the same attitude that DeForest Kelly brought to the role without being a parody. Damn freaked me out in the first film.


scotty was better. but bones was definitely the 2nd best.
 
2013-05-15 01:39:43 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Hah!

A Bitter Trekkie wants the Abrams abortions to not even exist, and Abrams giving handjobs on a streetcorner for being such a shiatty writer/director.

/he doesn't even have to be broke. He can still have all his money. He just should have a compulsion to give handjobs on streetcorners.


Last thing I need is the 1%ers cutting in on my side business.
 
2013-05-15 01:39:49 PM

PizzaJedi81: gimmegimme: I'm hoping that this movie rewrites Star Trek history so the previous movie didn't happen.

I'm sorry, do you mean the movie that re-invigorated a failing franchise, stayed true to the characters while developing it's own mythos and made Star Trek cool again? THAT movie?

Do you really want Nemesis to be the last Trek movie to have come out?


You are welcome to disagree (and I'm not trolling; it's an honest discussion), but I disliked the movie.  It's not fair to say that they reinvigorated the franchise because all they did was slap STAR TREK onto the script of Space Movie #2547.  Sure, you throw in a couple Starfleet references and the character names from the TOS, but that doesn't make it Trek.

Nemesis at least had some Trek to it (for all its many faults).  Star Wars was where folks went for MOSTLY battle and less complicated thought and Star Trek was the opposite.  Now everything is shiny flashy BWAMMMMMMM acshun.
 
2013-05-15 01:44:49 PM

PizzaJedi81: gimmegimme: I'm hoping that this movie rewrites Star Trek history so the previous movie didn't happen.

I'm sorry, do you mean the movie that re-invigorated a failing franchise, stayed true to the characters while developing it's own mythos and made Star Trek cool again? THAT movie?

Do you really want Nemesis to be the last Trek movie to have come out?


Just... have some sort of gravotachyon worm-anomaly that temporal paradoxes out everything after First Contact.
 
2013-05-15 01:45:30 PM

farkeruk: He's wrong. The standout performance is Karl Urban as Bones. He captured the same attitude that DeForest Kelly brought to the role without being a parody. Damn freaked me out in the first film.


Agreed.  Pegg's Scotty was a lot of fun, but Urban's McCoy was uncanny.
 
2013-05-15 01:48:35 PM

Jim from Saint Paul: I see you and raise you triple...


Diogenes: Moar Tribbles.


How about both?

img14.imageshack.us
 
2013-05-15 01:48:47 PM

MetaCarpal: farkeruk: He's wrong. The standout performance is Karl Urban as Bones. He captured the same attitude that DeForest Kelly brought to the role without being a parody. Damn freaked me out in the first film.

Agreed.  Pegg's Scotty was a lot of fun, but Urban's McCoy was uncanny.


And? Have you not been paying attention the last 20 years? That is all SyFy fans really want. You can't have smart, dark, engaging, dramatic Science Fiction it just does not play well with the SyFy fan. No the money is all in the pew, pew, pew.
 
2013-05-15 01:49:58 PM
my bitter star trek buddy's ask from JJ abrams movies is that it gets enough interest to spawn a new tv show that has the timeframe and budget constraints to explore the more traditional trek elements, because the TV medium is much better suited for it. he has a point, imo
 
2013-05-15 01:50:16 PM

gimmegimme: PizzaJedi81: gimmegimme: I'm hoping that this movie rewrites Star Trek history so the previous movie didn't happen.

I'm sorry, do you mean the movie that re-invigorated a failing franchise, stayed true to the characters while developing it's own mythos and made Star Trek cool again? THAT movie?

Do you really want Nemesis to be the last Trek movie to have come out?

You are welcome to disagree (and I'm not trolling; it's an honest discussion), but I disliked the movie.  It's not fair to say that they reinvigorated the franchise because all they did was slap STAR TREK onto the script of Space Movie #2547.  Sure, you throw in a couple Starfleet references and the character names from the TOS, but that doesn't make it Trek.

Nemesis at least had some Trek to it (for all its many faults).  Star Wars was where folks went for MOSTLY battle and less complicated thought and Star Trek was the opposite.  Now everything is shiny flashy BWAMMMMMMM acshun.


Have you ever actually watched a Star Trek movie? Like any of them? Complicated thought?
 
2013-05-15 01:50:24 PM
No, they really want this:

images4.wikia.nocookie.net

images1.wikia.nocookie.net

To which I say:

24.media.tumblr.com

i.crackedcdn.com

www.trekcore.com

2.bp.blogspot.com


www.startrek.com

1.bp.blogspot.com

media.sfx.co.uk

~FIN
 
2013-05-15 01:53:15 PM

Slaves2Darkness: MetaCarpal: farkeruk: He's wrong. The standout performance is Karl Urban as Bones. He captured the same attitude that DeForest Kelly brought to the role without being a parody. Damn freaked me out in the first film.

Agreed.  Pegg's Scotty was a lot of fun, but Urban's McCoy was uncanny.

And? Have you not been paying attention the last 20 years? That is all SyFy fans really want. You can't have smart, dark, engaging, dramatic Science Fiction it just does not play well with the SyFy fan. No the money is all in the pew, pew, pew.


THIS is why I don't believe that the 2009 film "reinvigorated a failing franchise."  It's not "Star Trek."  It's like telling everyone that you banged Elizabeth Taylor without telling them what year.

1958?  Good for you.  You banged Elizabeth Taylor.
userserve-ak.last.fm

2011?  Well, her name was still Elizabeth Taylor, but I'm not sure it counts.
www.bittenandbound.com
 
2013-05-15 01:53:47 PM
I thought the Trekkers wanted a show that was everything they made up from the best bits of their favorite season/series, but totally new and invigorated without being different or the same.

And wtf is with the writer? 'Dont require you to play the game, let me biatch about how the first one 'required' you to read a comc (no, it didn't, wasn't aware there was a comic till now), then let me beg them to put stuff from the comics in there'??
 
2013-05-15 01:53:53 PM

PizzaJedi81: made Star Trek cool again?


When was Star Trek ever cool?  When was it ever supposed to be cool?
 
2013-05-15 01:54:13 PM

gimmegimme: PizzaJedi81: gimmegimme: I'm hoping that this movie rewrites Star Trek history so the previous movie didn't happen.

I'm sorry, do you mean the movie that re-invigorated a failing franchise, stayed true to the characters while developing it's own mythos and made Star Trek cool again? THAT movie?

Do you really want Nemesis to be the last Trek movie to have come out?

You are welcome to disagree (and I'm not trolling; it's an honest discussion), but I disliked the movie.  It's not fair to say that they reinvigorated the franchise because all they did was slap STAR TREK onto the script of Space Movie #2547.  Sure, you throw in a couple Starfleet references and the character names from the TOS, but that doesn't make it Trek.

Nemesis at least had some Trek to it (for all its many faults).  Star Wars was where folks went for MOSTLY battle and less complicated thought and Star Trek was the opposite.  Now everything is shiny flashy BWAMMMMMMM acshun.


i.imgur.com

Captain, there's too much double god-damn ACSHUN in this film.  We need to return to the ship.
 
2013-05-15 01:58:29 PM
As a passing Trekkie and a bitter Firefly fan, I want bitter Trekkies to shut up and be glad that they got another Trek movie and that the company that owns their rights isn't busy trying to do everything they can to bury it.

/Really, F*X? Suing people for selling Jayne's hat?
//Yet another reason why I haven't watched a F*X show since Firefly was cancelled.
 
2013-05-15 02:00:23 PM

IlGreven: As a passing Trekkie and a bitter Firefly fan, I want bitter Trekkies to shut up and be glad that they got another Trek movie and that the company that owns their rights isn't busy trying to do everything they can to bury it.

/Really, F*X? Suing people for selling Jayne's hat?
//Yet another reason why I haven't watched a F*X show since Firefly was cancelled.


I only wish Paramount were trying to bury Trek and Fox was pimping Firefly.

/though, to be fair, they have buried real Trek with the generic space movie series.
 
2013-05-15 02:09:21 PM
These movies aren't for you, trekkie. If you can accept that and watch them as a regular old star trek fan or sci-fi action fan, you'll have a much better time. If they made the movie you wanted they would be put in jail for boring half the country to death and no jury in the known universe would let them off.
 
2013-05-15 02:09:48 PM

FirstNationalBastard: IlGreven: As a passing Trekkie and a bitter Firefly fan, I want bitter Trekkies to shut up and be glad that they got another Trek movie and that the company that owns their rights isn't busy trying to do everything they can to bury it.

/Really, F*X? Suing people for selling Jayne's hat?
//Yet another reason why I haven't watched a F*X show since Firefly was cancelled.

I only wish Paramount were trying to bury Trek and Fox was pimping Firefly.

/though, to be fair, they have buried real Trek with the generic space movie series.


As someone who loves both Star Trek and Firefly and has no problems with any of the films or series for either aside from the fact that some are plainly and undeniably bad, I'd rather they came up with entirely new properties.

But that's just crazy talk, I know.
 
2013-05-15 02:10:58 PM

kroonermanblack: I thought the Trekkers wanted a show that was everything they made up from the best bits of their favorite season/series, but totally new and invigorated without being different or the same.

And wtf is with the writer? 'Dont require you to play the game, let me biatch about how the first one 'required' you to read a comc (no, it didn't, wasn't aware there was a comic till now), then let me beg them to put stuff from the comics in there'??


Roger Meyer comes storming into focus group. "You nerds don't know what you want. That's why you're virgins, 'cause you're stupid. Just tell me what's wrong with Star Trek!"
 
2013-05-15 02:14:06 PM

CPennypacker: These movies aren't for you, trekkie. If you can accept that and watch them as a regular old star trek fan or sci-fi action fan, you'll have a much better time. If they made the movie you wanted they would be put in jail for boring half the country to death and no jury in the known universe would let them off.


I agree wholeheartedly.  If I go see Star Trek or Ender's Game, I'll expect the same experience I would have if I sit down and watch a big-budget Syfy movie.  I can be amused by flashing lights and pretty colors, but it won't be any good.
 
2013-05-15 02:14:44 PM

PizzaJedi81: I'm sorry, do you mean the movie that re-invigorated a failing franchise, stayed true to the characters while developing it's own mythos and made Star Trek cool again? THAT movie?


No, he means the movie that made the franchise profitable again by turning it into a brainless sci-fi action flick for dumb fratboys and tossed in enough plot holes to drive VGER through sideways.

I've never exactly been a huge Trek fan anyway, but that reboot was just pure stupid on toast as a film, Trek or otherwise. Transformers made more sense, had smarter dialog and plotting and for everything else going on with it at least I could put it on mute and stare at Megan Fox.

There have been some amazingly bad Trek films, but that managed to be the worst by far.
 
2013-05-15 02:15:15 PM

Fano: kroonermanblack: I thought the Trekkers wanted a show that was everything they made up from the best bits of their favorite season/series, but totally new and invigorated without being different or the same.

And wtf is with the writer? 'Dont require you to play the game, let me biatch about how the first one 'required' you to read a comc (no, it didn't, wasn't aware there was a comic till now), then let me beg them to put stuff from the comics in there'??


Roger Meyer comes storming into focus group. "You nerds don't know what you want. That's why you're virgins, 'cause you're stupid. Just tell me what's wrong with Star Trek!"


I read that as "Russ Meyer", and immediately thought about this


3.bp.blogspot.com


2.bp.blogspot.com

 
2013-05-15 02:19:01 PM
a beej?
 
2013-05-15 02:19:27 PM
 
2013-05-15 02:26:13 PM
I think it's funny how all the Trekkies hate the J.J. movies because they're filled with action, and yet First Contact is considered one of the best of the older Trek films. Sure, it didn't have LENS FLARE, but it was very much an action movie, complete with a totally unnecessary quasi-romantic subplot (don't tell me Lily didn't want more than a kiss on the cheek at the end!) and just as much bullshiat handwavium (they completely trashed the Prime Directive). My advice to those that have been getting their panties in a twist: step back, take a deep breath, remove the rose-colored goggles, and just remember that movies are for entertainment. Go in with no expectations and allow yourself to be entertained. Even if it turns out to be terrible, have fun laughing at it.
 
2013-05-15 02:28:59 PM
I enjoyed the 2009 version, although I could have done with a little less lens flare and shaky cam.

/I liked Enterprise, too.
 
2013-05-15 02:29:05 PM

Alexei Novikov: I think it's funny how all the Trekkies hate the J.J. movies because they're filled with action, and yet First Contact is considered one of the best of the older Trek films. Sure, it didn't have LENS FLARE, but it was very much an action movie, complete with a totally unnecessary quasi-romantic subplot (don't tell me Lily didn't want more than a kiss on the cheek at the end!) and just as much bullshiat handwavium (they completely trashed the Prime Directive). My advice to those that have been getting their panties in a twist: step back, take a deep breath, remove the rose-colored goggles, and just remember that movies are for entertainment. Go in with no expectations and allow yourself to be entertained. Even if it turns out to be terrible, have fun laughing at it.


That's my point.  The 2009 film is just entertainment.  Like watching a fight break out in front of a bar at 3 a.m.  It doesn't mean anything and doesn't matter.  It's just, like, there.
 
2013-05-15 02:37:03 PM

PizzaJedi81: Do you really want Nemesis to be the last Trek movie to have come out?


I'd actually be fine with that as honestly Nemesis and the nuTrek reboot pretty much run side by side when it comes to piss poor movies.   nuTrek made a sub-orbital drop boring, the only worst scene I can think of is a crap movie called Supernova that had zero-g sex as the opener... and was as equally boring as that drop scene.

I'm fine with an action orientated Trek but the last movie was well... meh.  Between boring action scenes, the god damn lens flare which made some scenes blindly white and the stupid 'space noise' that only really seemed to be there because "we're in space now ooooooooo" it just didn't work.

Perhaps this next one will but with the same director at the helm I really don't think it's going to do it.
 
2013-05-15 02:52:57 PM

farkeruk: He's wrong. The standout performance is Karl Urban as Bones. He captured the same attitude that DeForest Kelly brought to the role without being a parody. Damn freaked me out in the first film.


Agreed.  Unfortunately, they basically turn him into a parody in this one.
 
2013-05-15 02:56:05 PM

Alexei Novikov: My advice to those that have been getting their panties in a twist: step back, take a deep breath, remove the rose-colored goggles, and just remember that movies are for entertainment. Go in with no expectations and allow yourself to be entertained. Even if it turns out to be terrible, have fun laughing at it.


But the last Trek movie was just a bad movie. I couldn't possibly care less about continuity or canon or whatever other nonsense Trekkies are worried about, but it should at least be a good movie.

There have been several pretty bad Trek movies and this is one of them. If you're going to break any reasonable suspension of disbelief, fine, but you better just keep on going until you hit Bubba Ho-Tep levels of absurdity or else you just wind up with eyerolling crap.

/ I don't really get the love for First Contact, myself
 
2013-05-15 02:58:10 PM

kroonermanblack: I thought the Trekkers wanted a show that was everything they made up from the best bits of their favorite season/series, but totally new and invigorated without being different or the same.

And wtf is with the writer? 'Dont require you to play the game, let me biatch about how the first one 'required' you to read a comc (no, it didn't, wasn't aware there was a comic till now), then let me beg them to put stuff from the comics in there'??


Agreed. There is no possible version of this or any other Trek film that will not get some nerds' knickers in a twist.
 
2013-05-15 03:00:58 PM

gimmegimme: PizzaJedi81: gimmegimme: I'm hoping that this movie rewrites Star Trek history so the previous movie didn't happen.

I'm sorry, do you mean the movie that re-invigorated a failing franchise, stayed true to the characters while developing it's own mythos and made Star Trek cool again? THAT movie?

Do you really want Nemesis to be the last Trek movie to have come out?

You are welcome to disagree (and I'm not trolling; it's an honest discussion), but I disliked the movie.  It's not fair to say that they reinvigorated the franchise because all they did was slap STAR TREK onto the script of Space Movie #2547.  Sure, you throw in a couple Starfleet references and the character names from the TOS, but that doesn't make it Trek.

Nemesis at least had some Trek to it (for all its many faults).  Star Wars was where folks went for MOSTLY battle and less complicated thought and Star Trek was the opposite.  Now everything is shiny flashy BWAMMMMMMM acshun.


I think about this sometimes, but then I think, what is Star Trek, really?  TOS and TNG were basically nothing but contrived campy pseudophilosophy (oh look, the android has a cat! He finally understands emotions!) with some occasional equally campy action sequences with obligatory console explosions thrown in from time to time (the nacelles have reversed polarity!  Flood the antimatter chamber!).  All he's really done is ramp up the action sequences and character synergies while moving away from the philosophy101.
 
2013-05-15 03:05:57 PM

FirstNationalBastard: Fano: kroonermanblack: I thought the Trekkers wanted a show that was everything they made up from the best bits of their favorite season/series, but totally new and invigorated without being different or the same.
And wtf is with the writer? 'Dont require you to play the game, let me biatch about how the first one 'required' you to read a comc (no, it didn't, wasn't aware there was a comic till now), then let me beg them to put stuff from the comics in there'??
Roger Meyer comes storming into focus group. "You nerds don't know what you want. That's why you're virgins, 'cause you're stupid. Just tell me what's wrong with Star Trek!"
I read that as "Russ Meyer", and immediately thought about this
[3.bp.blogspot.com image 425x602]
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 472x700]


img94.imageshack.us
 
2013-05-15 03:07:03 PM

gimmegimme: The 2009 film Star Trek is just entertainment.


Fixed.
 
2013-05-15 03:07:04 PM

The Stealth Hippopotamus: FirstNationalBastard: Fano: kroonermanblack: I thought the Trekkers wanted a show that was everything they made up from the best bits of their favorite season/series, but totally new and invigorated without being different or the same.
And wtf is with the writer? 'Dont require you to play the game, let me biatch about how the first one 'required' you to read a comc (no, it didn't, wasn't aware there was a comic till now), then let me beg them to put stuff from the comics in there'??
Roger Meyer comes storming into focus group. "You nerds don't know what you want. That's why you're virgins, 'cause you're stupid. Just tell me what's wrong with Star Trek!"
I read that as "Russ Meyer", and immediately thought about this
[3.bp.blogspot.com image 425x602]
[2.bp.blogspot.com image 472x700]

[img94.imageshack.us image 692x960]


Feh.

For a Russ Meyer film, she would be the homely, flat-chested friend.
 
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