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(D Magazine)   If you liked the Delta Gamma email, you'll love this concession speech from a Dallas City Council hopeful (Not safe for work language)   (frontburner.dmagazine.com ) divider line
    More: Amusing, Delta Gamma, Dallas City Council, concession speech  
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4820 clicks; posted to Politics » on 15 May 2013 at 1:04 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-15 11:41:20 AM  
Sounds like another one of those good christian people.
 
2013-05-15 11:50:09 AM  
Oh noes! He is gonna yell at him some MOAR when he sees him. This truly is a threat from a towering intellect.

Reminds me of the time when someone threatened to slap me silly.

Maybe he should live up to his vow, since an 18 year old kid managed to triple number of votes...
 
2013-05-15 11:53:20 AM  
We really need more people with that level of good judgement in government.
 
2013-05-15 11:57:57 AM  
I will say it lacks a certain flair that the sorority chick's had.  This is coarse and largely uncreative.
 
2013-05-15 12:00:24 PM  
"To repeat this message, press 1"

I'm f*cking dying at that.

Also: Dallas, Texas city council election and the potty-mouth candidate sounds like he's got a suppressed Masshole accent.
 
2013-05-15 12:02:46 PM  
Pass.
 
2013-05-15 12:15:46 PM  
keep it classy, christians!

i love how he keeps using the word "sodomite." you just know he beats off to a ragged copy of "muscle and fitness" every night.
 
2013-05-15 12:26:26 PM  
Is this going to get the Walken treatment?
 
2013-05-15 12:26:49 PM  

FlashHarry: i love how he keeps using the word "sodomite." you just know he beats off to a ragged copy of "muscle and fitness" every night.


The power and aura that homophobes assign to the gays is really something.  Honestly, pointing out that someone is gay should be about as important as pointing out that they have an ugly wife... I don't care who they're f*cking!
 
2013-05-15 12:47:32 PM  
factoryconnection:

Also: Dallas, Texas city council election and the potty-mouth candidate sounds like he's got a suppressed Masshole accent.

That struck me as odd too.  I would think a Dallas election between a yankee carpetbagger and a sodomite would lead to a 3rd party victory.
 
2013-05-15 12:53:18 PM  
Excerpt from an article about the North Dallas City Council elections:

Sheridan also said he believes he has the key attributes to being a good politician in service to a constituency. These include thick skin, a sense of humor, boldness, honesty, and a good to great relationship with God. He referred to these characteristics and said, "I do pretty good at them most of the time."
 
2013-05-15 12:56:19 PM  
Sheridan 2016
 
2013-05-15 01:08:42 PM  
This guy's a good Christian like I'm a good Catholic.
 
2013-05-15 01:09:45 PM  

Diogenes: I will say it lacks a certain flair that the sorority chick's had.  This is coarse and largely uncreative.


Yeah, I was disappointed.  Not even Michael Shannon could redeem this.
 
2013-05-15 01:14:43 PM  
That's not a Dallas accent... that's not a Dallas accent at all...

You can really make out the New England in the "farks".
 
2013-05-15 01:14:47 PM  

FlashHarry: keep it classy, christians!

i love how he keeps using the word "sodomite." you just know he beats off to a ragged copy of "muscle and fitness" every night.


That ain't gay, it's exercise.
 
2013-05-15 01:16:36 PM  

FlashHarry: keep it classy, christians!

i love how he keeps using the word "sodomite." you just know he beats off to a ragged copy of "muscle and fitness" every night.


Nah, he probably has some gay porn sites favorited on his browser of choice
 
2013-05-15 01:19:21 PM  

factoryconnection: "To repeat this message, press 1"

I'm f*cking dying at that.

Also: Dallas, Texas city council election and the potty-mouth candidate sounds like he's got a suppressed Masshole accent.


Yeah I came here to say that too.  His accent doesn't sound very Texan-y.
 
2013-05-15 01:21:53 PM  
There is very little in this world that is as farked-up as Dallas politics. The City Council is one big bag of "Wha' happened?"

/FW FTW
 
2013-05-15 01:24:01 PM  

factoryconnection: "To repeat this message, press 1"

I'm f*cking dying at that.

Also: Dallas, Texas city council election and the potty-mouth candidate sounds like he's got a suppressed Masshole accent.


Yup, I was all "what a jackhole!" listening to that thing and then the ending came. I spit out my coffee. It just sounds too damn polite.
 
2013-05-15 01:27:16 PM  
I bet that guy is a total bad ass with a huge penis and gets laid all the time...

Oh wait, what is the complete opposite of everything I just said? That is probably the truth...
 
2013-05-15 01:28:14 PM  

hubiestubert: Oh noes! He is gonna yell at him some MOAR when he sees him.


I'd like to imagine that it would go down something like this:

Candidate: "There you are you reporter piece of shiat!  You little..."

Reporter: "Hang on just a sec, I'ma let you finish, but first let me get my phone out so I can get this on video."
 
2013-05-15 01:28:20 PM  
The response op ed is pretty awesome:

http://frontburner.dmagazine.com/2013/05/14/richard-p-sheridan-is-qu it e-a-sore-loser-and-the-operative-word-there-is-loser/

FTFOEWell, Richard (or should I call you Dick? Yeah, I should), all I can say in response, Dick, is your talk is cheap; you're not a man. The word is out, you're doing wrong; gonna lock you up before too long. I'm telling you, just watch your mouth; I know your game, what you're about. What I'm trying to say is, I'm bad. (And the whole world has to answer right now just to tell you once again.)
 
2013-05-15 01:30:30 PM  

factoryconnection: "To repeat this message, press 1"

I'm f*cking dying at that.


Me too. That was hilarious!
 
2013-05-15 01:32:46 PM  

The RIchest Man in Babylon: The response op ed is pretty awesome:


Nice.  I can't see that NOT flying right over his head, though.  Oh, he mad, bro!
 
2013-05-15 01:34:04 PM  

Tarl3k: I bet that guy is a total bad ass with a huge penis and gets laid all the time...


The badasses always shoot their mouths off like this. That's how you know. How else would you know? Navy SEALs? Talk talk talk. Can't shut those motherfarkers up with a ball gag.
 
2013-05-15 01:35:50 PM  
Can only laughter OL. heheh
 
2013-05-15 01:51:06 PM  

factoryconnection: FlashHarry: i love how he keeps using the word "sodomite." you just know he beats off to a ragged copy of "muscle and fitness" every night.

The power and aura that homophobes assign to the gays is really something.  Honestly, pointing out that someone is gay should be about as important as pointing out that they have an ugly wife... I don't care who they're f*cking!


Winners bang cheerleaders.

But real men bang the football team.
 
2013-05-15 01:54:10 PM  
Audio stopped at work; can we get a transcription?
 
2013-05-15 01:55:17 PM  
www.motherjones.com
Is it him? I guess they all look the same...
 
2013-05-15 02:00:01 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: Tarl3k: I bet that guy is a total bad ass with a huge penis and gets laid all the time...

The badasses always shoot their mouths off like this. That's how you know. How else would you know? Navy SEALs? Talk talk talk. Can't shut those motherfarkers up with a ball gag.


SEALS are trained specifically to keep talking no matter how much duress you apply.

That is why their motto is "BLAH BLAH BLAH"
 
2013-05-15 02:00:43 PM  

antidisestablishmentarianism: Is this going to get the Walken treatment?


He already sounds a little like Walken.   I think Betty White would do it justice.
 
2013-05-15 02:02:16 PM  
"Propagandist for the Sodomites"

He knows my job title!
 
2013-05-15 02:05:37 PM  
Well, that was stupid.
 
2013-05-15 02:10:24 PM  

Devolving_Spud: antidisestablishmentarianism: Is this going to get the Walken treatment?

He already sounds a little like Walken.   I think Betty White would do it justice.


George Takei.
 
2013-05-15 02:15:03 PM  
and he was so looking forward to his victory party at Amys Baking Company...
 
2013-05-15 02:21:45 PM  
Wow!

That was....  uninspired.

I mean really, if you are going to bother to call up and leave a voicemail message cussing someone out, can't you at least be a little creative about it. Or genuinely menacing. I'm pretty I know some 9 year olds who could do a better job than that boring and repetitive bit.

"no physical harm... so don't call the police"... oh God I almost wet my pants with fear hearing that.

4/10. I'm making allowances because it sounded like he was drunk.
 
2013-05-15 02:22:38 PM  

Epoch_Zero: George Takei.


It would not surprise me in the least if George isn't already recording it.
 
2013-05-15 02:24:20 PM  

fsbilly: [www.motherjones.com image 423x635]
Is it him? I guess they all look the same...


I thought you were joking.   That actually IS him.  Well.   That explains a lot.
 
2013-05-15 02:41:51 PM  

Devolving_Spud: fsbilly: [www.motherjones.com image 423x635]
Is it him? I guess they all look the same...

I thought you were joking.   That actually IS him.  Well.   That explains a lot.


The gigantic Schoolhouse Rock lettering really lends gravitas.
 
2013-05-15 02:49:30 PM  

Lord Schtupp: and he was so looking forward to his victory party at Amys Baking Company...


WINNAR
 
2013-05-15 02:53:39 PM  

UrukHaiGuyz: Devolving_Spud: fsbilly: [www.motherjones.com image 423x635]
Is it him? I guess they all look the same...

I thought you were joking.   That actually IS him.  Well.   That explains a lot.

The gigantic Schoolhouse Rock lettering really lends gravitas.


No, no, no. He works 4 U. That picture must be a 'shop.

Guy has a lot of time on his hands, apparently. Also, he chews tobacco. But he is in no way a racist.
 
2013-05-15 02:54:33 PM  

Devolving_Spud: fsbilly: [www.motherjones.com image 423x635]
Is it him? I guess they all look the same...

I thought you were joking.   That actually IS him.  Well.   That explains a lot.


From what I just dug up, it looks like it's a guy names Dale Robertson, and not the guy from the article.  Long lost brother maybe?
 
2013-05-15 02:56:55 PM  

Zasteva: Wow!

That was....  uninspired.

I mean really, if you are going to bother to call up and leave a voicemail message cussing someone out, can't you at least be a little creative about it. Or genuinely menacing. I'm pretty I know some 9 year olds who could do a better job than that boring and repetitive bit.

"no physical harm... so don't call the police"... oh God I almost wet my pants with fear hearing that.

4/10. I'm making allowances because it sounded like he was drunk.


Not to mention it sounded like he was in a car at the time.
 
2013-05-15 02:57:21 PM  

Zasteva: I mean really, if you are going to bother to call up and leave a voicemail message cussing someone out, can't you at least be a little creative about it. Or genuinely menacing. I'm pretty I know some 9 year olds who could do a better job than that boring and repetitive bit.


I was expecting more "All you motherfarkers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. I'm gonna fark your mothers while you watch and cry like little, whiny biatches. Once I get to Dallas and find you City Council farks... I'm gonna make you eat my shiat, then shiat out my shiat, and then eat your shiat that's made up of my shiat that I made you eat. Then all you motherfarks are next. "  So yeah, letdown.
 
2013-05-15 03:08:46 PM  

mediablitz: "Propagandist for the Sodomites"

He knows my job title!


Yeah, but is that how you want it phrased for your business cards?

I mean, I'm fine with it but I know some others might not be.
 
2013-05-15 03:13:45 PM  
Man that was epic. I get newspaper bias can piss you off. When I ran for state Assembly and  the local paper ran was a step above a press release  from my opponent front page above the fold. It was a little irksome but what can you do, blue guy red area.

You cancel your subscription and move on  but this was...wow.
 
2013-05-15 03:13:47 PM  

Epoch_Zero: Devolving_Spud: antidisestablishmentarianism: Is this going to get the Walken treatment?

He already sounds a little like Walken.   I think Betty White would do it justice.

George Takei.


All three.  AT THE SAME TIME

...

Wait.  That didn't come out right...
 
2013-05-15 03:17:27 PM  

No Such Agency: Zasteva: I mean really, if you are going to bother to call up and leave a voicemail message cussing someone out, can't you at least be a little creative about it. Or genuinely menacing. I'm pretty I know some 9 year olds who could do a better job than that boring and repetitive bit.

No Such Agency: I was expecting more "All you motherfarkers are gonna pay. You are the ones who are the ball-lickers. I'm gonna fark your mothers while you watch and cry like little, whiny biatches. Once I get to Dallas and find you City Council farks... I'm gonna make you eat my shiat, then shiat out my shiat, and then eat your shiat that's made up of my shiat that I made you eat. Then all you motherfarks are next. "  So yeah, letdown.


You gotta admit, she was a true vulgarian.
 
2013-05-15 03:22:31 PM  

Rwa2play: FlashHarry: keep it classy, christians!

i love how he keeps using the word "sodomite." you just know he beats off to a ragged copy of "muscle and fitness" every night.

Nah, he probably has some gay porn sites favorited on his browser of choice


I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he's an IE user.
 
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