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(Perth Now)   Ladies and gentlemen, this is your co-pilot speaking. If you look to the front of the aircraft you'll see the pilot trying to get back into the cockpit. The door is jammed so I'll be landing the plane myself   (perthnow.com.au) divider line 76
    More: Scary, co-pilot, Bhopal, Indian media, cockpits, aircraft, Bangalore, speeches  
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9999 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2013 at 7:57 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-14 08:00:09 PM  
Just like he does half the time.
 
2013-05-14 08:02:51 PM  
FTFA:
The incident is the latest in a series of safety-related issues involving the airline.
Early this month, the airline said it had suspended a pilot and two female flight attendants after a passenger jet's autopilot system was accidentally switched off "due to (a) distraction".
Indian media reports at the time alleged the pilots were giving the flight attendants flying lessons.



How do you say "bow-chicka-bow-wow" in Hindi?
 
2013-05-14 08:04:17 PM  
The co-pilot was forced to diverted the flight

*twitch*
 
2013-05-14 08:08:23 PM  
There are no co-pilots. Both people are pilots. It's not like he couldn't land the plane.
 
2013-05-14 08:10:02 PM  
He had to press the "LAND" button all by himself?
 
2013-05-14 08:10:24 PM  
this makes a good case for having piss jugs in the cockpit.
 
2013-05-14 08:19:35 PM  

Astorix: this makes a good case for having piss jugs in the cockpit.


Honestly though, the system worked.

"Oh god, the pilot's locked out.  We're all going to DIE"
"Hey, isn't there another equally qualified pilot sitting up front who can land the plane?"
"Oh, yeah, right"

/Honestly, it sounds like Delta.  I haven't had a single flight (out of ~10.  Interviews plus Detroit is a hub) with them in 6 months that wasn't delayed by at least an hour because of mechanical issues.
 
2013-05-14 08:20:18 PM  
They are (supposed to be) trained to land unassisted.  So not sure that the big deal is.
 
2013-05-14 08:23:51 PM  
truly a harrowing experience.
what's the scary part subs? they ran out of cocktail olives?
 
2013-05-14 08:26:24 PM  
OMG! Was that a terrorist speaking?
 
2013-05-14 08:27:01 PM  

The_Original_Roxtar: truly a harrowing experience.
what's the scary part subs? they ran out of cocktail olives?


it was a flight ... a FLIGHT HIGH IN THE SKY into INDIA... my guess is someone... where'd my vaporizer go? you're funny.
 
2013-05-14 08:27:05 PM  

meyerkev: Astorix: this makes a good case for having piss jugs in the cockpit.

Honestly though, the system worked.

"Oh god, the pilot's locked out.  We're all going to DIE"
"Hey, isn't there another equally qualified pilot sitting up front who can land the plane?"
"Oh, yeah, right"

/Honestly, it sounds like Delta.  I haven't had a single flight (out of ~10.  Interviews plus Detroit is a hub) with them in 6 months that wasn't delayed by at least an hour because of mechanical issues.


I understand that it's part of that pilot/co pilot hierarchy. Co pilots have been traditionally trained to defer to the judgement of the pilot, although they are trying to change this. there have been too many crashes where the pilot shouted down the concerns of the co pilots.
 
2013-05-14 08:27:54 PM  

Petit_Merdeux: He had to press the "LAND" button all by himself?


I've had a retired 747 captain tell me that autoland can be a bigger PITA for the pilots than a hand flown approach, just cause you have that many more automatic systems to keep track of. In really bad weather when you can't see anything, you absolutely need it, but on a clear day it supposedly sucks to do all that extra work making sure the system is functioning properly the entire time.
 
2013-05-14 08:44:00 PM  
You mean to say the copilot couldn't open the door from his side?
Or was he Farking with the Pilot.....Dave's not here...
 
2013-05-14 08:45:04 PM  

FrancoFile: FTFA:
The incident is the latest in a series of safety-related issues involving the airline.
Early this month, the airline said it had suspended a pilot and two female flight attendants after a passenger jet's autopilot system was accidentally switched off "due to (a) distraction".
Indian media reports at the time alleged the pilots were giving the flight attendants flying lessons.


How do you say "bow-chicka-bow-wow" in Hindi?


Was the pilot's name "Otto"?
 
2013-05-14 08:47:12 PM  
Katy, bar the door!
 
2013-05-14 08:48:00 PM  

EngineerBob: You mean to say the copilot couldn't open the door from his side?


Well, it did say "jammed" rather than "I've locked it but suffered a very specific form of amnesia".

The worst part is that the co-pilot was dying to take a shiat.
 
2013-05-14 08:57:43 PM  

meyerkev: Astorix: this makes a good case for having piss jugs in the cockpit.

Honestly though, the system worked.

"Oh god, the pilot's locked out.  We're all going to DIE"
"Hey, isn't there another equally qualified pilot sitting up front who can land the plane?"
"Oh, yeah, right"

/Honestly, it sounds like Delta.  I haven't had a single flight (out of ~10.  Interviews plus Detroit is a hub) with them in 6 months that wasn't delayed by at least an hour because of mechanical issues.


I just flew on four different plans with delta in the past two weeks. No issues at all.
 
2013-05-14 08:58:42 PM  
Considering the airline's history, everybody should be thankful the co-pilot wasn't in the crapper with an attendant at the time.
 
2013-05-14 09:03:56 PM  

FrancoFile: FTFA:
The incident is the latest in a series of safety-related issues involving the airline.
Early this month, the airline said it had suspended a pilot and two female flight attendants after a passenger jet's autopilot system was accidentally switched off "due to (a) distraction".
Indian media reports at the time alleged the pilots were giving the flight attendants flying lessons.


How do you say "bow-chicka-bow-wow" in Hindi?


Here baby, just hold onto this stick
 
2013-05-14 09:05:29 PM  
"Giving the flight attendants flying lessons"
Is that akin to "hiking the Appalachian trail"?
 
2013-05-14 09:12:32 PM  
Gang rapes.....Regularly derailed trains.....Kashmir province skirmishes......Pilot-less commercial airliners.

Time to strongly reconsider visiting India.
 
2013-05-14 09:14:36 PM  
oh no...an uneventful diversion?

QUICK cue the crash animation hypotheticals to fill the dead air time!
 
2013-05-14 09:20:43 PM  
[Spoiler alert]
The pilot was INSIDE the plane.
 
2013-05-14 09:21:22 PM  
From the article there was also a trainee pilot in the cockpit with the copilot so there was an another present just in case there was an issue.  It sounds as if the diversion was to get to their maintanence hub rather than for safety.  No big deal.
 
2013-05-14 09:24:23 PM  

edmo: Just like he does half the time.


Done in 1.

/scary tag?
 
2013-05-14 09:31:05 PM  
If only there was some sort of thing piece of metal, possibly with a handle, somewhere in the passenger compartment, that he could use to jiggle or pry open the lock.
 
2013-05-14 09:37:32 PM  
I have over 9000 hours in Microsoft Flight Sim, I could tell if there was a trainee at the controls.
 
2013-05-14 09:41:39 PM  

Edgewood Dirk: I have over 9000 hours in Microsoft Flight Sim, I could tell if there was a trainee at the controls.


Is that the nerd equivalent of "I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes"?
 
2013-05-14 09:42:59 PM  
Jesus Christ!  A plane load of people died because the pilot was locked out of the cockpit and there was nobody there to land the plane?

Oh, what's that?  There's a second, equally trained person in there who landed the plane safely.  They should have this redundancy system in place for all commercial aircraft.  Dafuq you say?  They already do?
 
2013-05-14 09:46:50 PM  
You mean it's not like in the movies where there's only one pilot who knows how to fly the plane, and the other two guys are just in the cockpit for comic relief?
 
2013-05-14 09:47:50 PM  

GrymReeper: "Giving the flight attendants flying lessons"
Is that akin to "hiking the Appalachian trail"?


"doing the needful"
 
2013-05-14 09:54:40 PM  

Gyrfalcon: You mean it's not like in the movies where there's only one pilot who knows how to fly the plane, and the other two guys are just in the cockpit for comic relief?


What's your clearance, Clarence?
 
2013-05-14 09:55:09 PM  

The_Original_Roxtar: truly a harrowing experience.
what's the scary part subs? they ran out of cocktail olives?


i389.photobucket.com

Coffee.
 
2013-05-14 10:00:32 PM  

Gyrfalcon: You mean it's not like in the movies where there's only one pilot who knows how to fly the plane, and the other two guys are just in the cockpit for comic relief?


Comic relief!  What is it?
 
2013-05-14 10:04:08 PM  

FrancoFile: FTFA:
Indian media reports at the time alleged the pilots were giving the flight attendants flying lessons.


I just learned a new euphemism.
 
2013-05-14 10:06:37 PM  

twfeline: FrancoFile: FTFA:
Indian media reports at the time alleged the pilots were giving the flight attendants flying lessons.

I just learned a new euphemism.


Actually, when I was a girl, "flying lessons" had a non-sexual, but still illicit, definition.
 
2013-05-14 10:11:25 PM  
They diverted to Bhopal? What a gas!
 
dh2
2013-05-14 10:13:34 PM  
Brian Dennehy, as  the bush-pilot , in Never Cry Wolf?
At about 3:00...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAbU7Ha3jTA
 
2013-05-14 10:23:31 PM  

Gwendolyn: There are no co-pilots. Both people are pilots. It's not like he couldn't land the plane.


The dude that got locked out?  Yeah...it was his turn to be the DD...

/DF?
 
2013-05-14 10:26:49 PM  

Gwendolyn: There are no co-pilots. Both people are pilots. It's not like he couldn't land the plane.


Wait - people thought 'co-pilot' meant somebody who *couldnt* fly the plane?
 
2013-05-14 10:41:57 PM  
sounds normal why is this a problem.or even news
 
2013-05-14 10:43:20 PM  
I don't understand the purpose of the diversion.  It makes no sense at all.  A landing is a landing is a landing.  Whether they land at the intended airport or an alternate airport, it's still a farking landing.  It shouldn't be an emergency if the co-pilot lands the plane.  If he's not qualified to land the plane, WTF is he doing in the cockpit?
 
2013-05-14 10:49:33 PM  
I wonder if that is covered in the Flight Emergency Handbook? Hmmm....Engine Failure (Takeoff), Engine Failure (level flight), Pilot Locked out of Cockpit....
 
2013-05-14 10:52:43 PM  

jtown: I don't understand the purpose of the diversion.  It makes no sense at all.  A landing is a landing is a landing.


You're right. However, a landing is also a landing. Just sayin'...
 
2013-05-14 10:54:15 PM  

jtown: If he's not qualified to land the plane, WTF is he doing in the cockpit?


He had the fish.
 
2013-05-14 11:11:20 PM  

jtown: I don't understand the purpose of the diversion.  It makes no sense at all.  A landing is a landing is a landing.  Whether they land at the intended airport or an alternate airport, it's still a farking landing.  It shouldn't be an emergency if the co-pilot lands the plane.  If he's not qualified to land the plane, WTF is he doing in the cockpit?


You don't carry on flying a two-crew aircraft as if nothing happened when one of the crew isn't able to his or her job. It's not meant to be flown by one person - it can be, but that's definitely not a normal situation.
 
2013-05-14 11:13:53 PM  

eagledmac5: They diverted to Bhopal? What a gas!


I expected Farkers to make this connection almost immediately, but it appears you and I are the only ones old enough to remember that being diverted to Bhopal is probably worse than crashing the farking plane.

I gifted you a month of TotalFark.  Enjoy.
 
2013-05-14 11:22:42 PM  

jtown: I don't understand the purpose of the diversion.  It makes no sense at all.  A landing is a landing is a landing.  Whether they land at the intended airport or an alternate airport, it's still a farking landing.  It shouldn't be an emergency if the co-pilot lands the plane.  If he's not qualified to land the plane, WTF is he doing in the cockpit?


(The idea is to not wait until it is an emergency--you know, if there were zero pilots in the cockpit...)
 
2013-05-14 11:30:24 PM  

chrylis: GrymReeper: "Giving the flight attendants flying lessons"
Is that akin to "hiking the Appalachian trail"?

"doing the needful"


"forced to diverted"

The_Original_Roxtar: what's the scary part subs? they ran out of cocktail olives?


THERE'S A SALE AT PENNEY'S!!!!ONE!

Rodeodoc: eagledmac5: They diverted to Bhopal? What a gas!

I expected Farkers to make this connection almost immediately, but it appears you and I are the only ones old enough to remember that being diverted to Bhopal is probably worse than crashing the farking plane.

I gifted you a month of TotalFark.  Enjoy.


I got the reference. And I wasn't even born when Bhopal happened.

/interested in disasters
 
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