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(NYPost)   Problem: all the lines at Disney for the rides are two hours long. Solution: hire a handicapped "tour guide" and get escorted straight up to the front each time   (nypost.com) divider line 41
    More: Interesting, tour guides, Disney, it's a small world, Disney World  
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10234 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2013 at 10:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-05-14 10:50:45 AM  
4 votes:
As someone who is much more interested in the rides than the "theme" part, I find you're better off going to one of the roller coaster parks like Cedar Point.
2013-05-14 10:43:49 AM  
4 votes:

Pocket Ninja: Still not good enough. The only way I would consider going to any sort of theme park would be if it was open only for me and a few select guests, as was the case for the Griswolds. There is no other possible scenario in which the fun-to-misery ratio works out to an acceptable level.


When I was a kid my parents took me, bro, and sis to Disney World twice in late January (our three birthdays are within three days of each other that time of year) and we had no issue with lines.  Then I made the mistake of going for a day over spring break in March one year and I understood how hellish it can be and thought I'd never return because it had gotten so busy.

Then last year I was in Orlando in early January for a conference so I went to Epcot for the day with my friend, and all the lines were short again.  I guess it really just depends on what time of year you go- if you're already spending all that money to go down with the family might as well make sure you do it at the time of year when the lines are really short.

/csb
2013-05-14 01:37:52 PM  
3 votes:

Russ1642: Am I the only one here who thinks faking being in a wheelchair is wrong? Disney should take you into their underground lair and beat the shiat out of you for that.


tripleseven: Faking a disability to get special perks is truly farked up.


Not-so-CSB:
I was in a very bad horseback riding accident as a young teenager; for a brief few seconds after I hit the ground, I had no feeling below my waist. Those few moments of paralysis scared the ever-living shiate out of me. I went through months of physical therapy, but still wound up with permanent head/neck/back & nerve damage. I could easily qualify for a handicap placard for my car, but have never taken my doctors up on the offer.

Why not? Because I am farking grateful to still have use of my legs. Save the special parking spaces, wheelchairs & ADA entrances for people who really need them.

/can't help but think some of these fakers are just begging for a karmic ass kicking
2013-05-14 11:51:12 AM  
3 votes:
Am I the only one here who thinks faking being in a wheelchair is wrong? Disney should take you into their underground lair and beat the shiat out of you for that.
2013-05-14 11:41:16 AM  
3 votes:

Magorn: ThatGuyGreg: Meh, that's less & less of a case as time goes by; any queue space that's been built/refurbished in the last few years at least has been wheelchair accessible.

And boy howdy is it fun to watch a cast member tell people that their wheelchair can go right ahead into the line, no special treatment for them.

/rich folks can hire VIP tour hosts anyway

WHy should disabled people be able to jump the line anyway? seems to me that a person sitting in a wheelchar already has it better than the folks standing in the line.   Still the fact that these tour guides exist, and the fact that Disney will bascially sell you the same thing for 400 HUNDRED DOLLARS AN HOUR is sickening to me and a reson 've nevr taken my kid to Disney.  Rather than fix the problem of overcrowded rides by either building more attractions or selling less enterance tickets everyday, Disney basically decides to profit it off it, and give kids a lesson at an early ages  in why the "haves" are better than them


Wanna know how I know you don't know any people who spend their lives in wheelchairs? It's in  BOLD in your post.  Seriously, even with regards to the whole line thing, how does being in a wheelchair equate to being better off than folks who are STANDING in line? Yes, I always have a seat when I go to events where folks have to stand around or sit on the ground but I would GLADLY change places with anyone who thinks being in the chair is somehow better.

Yes, I know I picked your line totally out of context and ran with it, but seriously?
2013-05-14 11:11:37 AM  
3 votes:

whistleridge: My mom is a double amputee (cancer, not the diabeetus). She really wanted to go to Disneyworld for some hellish reason. I loathe the place, but one does not tell one's 70 year old legless mother no when it comes to a request like that.

Neither of us knew anything about this policy. And I have to admit: my loathing level went from eleventy billion to only 110% after they took one look at her, gave us a guide, and gave us instant access to the front of *every* line.

Good for you, Disney, for having at least one humane policy.

/ yes, I have read the books about how much it sucks to work for them


I worked at Disneyland as a ride operator for awhile.  Best job ever.  If my financial responsibilities permitted I would cheerfully go back.
2013-05-14 10:53:47 AM  
3 votes:
My son would qualify for this special dispensation, but I find it more important to teach him patience than to teach him privilege.

Having a family member employed there, we get the benefit of free entrance when he's available to let us in, which is the only reason I go there anyway.  Drinking around the world in Epcot is pretty damn fun.
2013-05-14 12:27:38 PM  
2 votes:
Faking a disability to get special perks is truly farked up.

/CSB time

My mother had a stroke a few years back and is confined to a wheelchair.  One of my cousins worked for Clarence Clemmons, and got us floor seats when Springsteen played MSG.  (As an aside, it was a decent show, even though I am not a fan)  So, we're on the floor, in the handi section, and there's a few others around in wheelchairs.  At the end of the show, a guy in a chair got up and walked out.  farking scumbag.
Even though I have a handicapped parking pass in my car for when I have to cart my mother around, I NEVER use it unless it's legit, unlike others I see.

Morals, where the fark are they people?
2013-05-14 12:18:42 PM  
2 votes:
Disney gets an A+ on serving the handicap guests. My only complaint is that the person renting the handicapped guests isn't gouging the scum renters 10x more. Rich people hire servants everyday and for every mundane task - that's great - but let's get them to REALLY pay.
Oh, and anyone that fakes a handicap to BE the tour guide should get banned from the Disney properties for life.
2013-05-14 10:25:22 AM  
2 votes:

IdBeCrazyIf: whistleridge: Good for you, Disney, for having at least one humane policy.

10 more years of good behavoir and they can get Walt's soul out of hell and at least into purgatory


Only if they resurrect Sonny Bono and have his zombie corpse repeal the Copyright Term Extension Act of 1998. Otherwise, they can continue to burn in hell for vigorously farking over public domain, just to preserve an incredibly outdated cartoon that no one would have wanted to use anyway.
2013-05-14 10:03:25 AM  
2 votes:

Pocket Ninja: Still not good enough. The only way I would consider going to any sort of theme park would be if it was open only for me and a few select guests, as was the case for the Griswolds. There is no other possible scenario in which the fun-to-misery ratio works out to an acceptable level.


Depends.

img43.imageshack.us
Disney escort tour guide service.
2013-05-14 09:43:43 AM  
2 votes:
My mom is a double amputee (cancer, not the diabeetus). She really wanted to go to Disneyworld for some hellish reason. I loathe the place, but one does not tell one's 70 year old legless mother no when it comes to a request like that.

Neither of us knew anything about this policy. And I have to admit: my loathing level went from eleventy billion to only 110% after they took one look at her, gave us a guide, and gave us instant access to the front of *every* line.

Good for you, Disney, for having at least one humane policy.

/ yes, I have read the books about how much it sucks to work for them
2013-05-14 03:51:28 PM  
1 votes:
hitmanric:

If I was going to add anything, it's that front row is awesome.

(Keeping in mind that they've added Gatekeeper since I last went, so you may want to add Gatekeeper to the front of your list) This is the pattern I always use.

[Gatekeeper goes here?]
* Millenium Force front row = 45 minute wait, so it's kinda iffy.  I'd do it once for sure, but once is all I'd need.
* Maverick Front Row adds 10 minutes to a 2 hour line, and I've actually never ever done Maverick not front row.  (Also, I've never had a mediocre ride on Maverick.  It's either really fun or really terrible (Probably 60/40) depending on how bounced around my head gets)
* Skip Mean Streak.  It used to be a fun if bumpy (I'm fat and got wedged into the seat, so it wasn't as bumpy for me) coaster with a 10 minute line even for front row.  Ever since they added brakes to the first drop, it's just bad.
* Gemini is fairly good, and usually has a fairly short line.
* Around here are Woodstock Express (surprisingly fun for a kid coaster), and Jr. Gemini.  I have actually ridden Junior Gemini by mooching off my sister, just so I could cross off every single Cedar Point Coaster.  (It was really interesting getting the 6'0" kid into the kid coaster)
* Magnum is much better in the back row than the front.  Also, when you put the lap bar down, stand on your tiptoes.  You want the bar 1 notch higher than the ride operators want to set it, because the back half is all bunny hops that ram your legs into the bar.
* Dragster is probably worth doing once if only for the "I'm looking down at Millenium Force" realization.  I've never quite been able to justify the massive wait for front row though.
* Corkscrew is really, really bumpy.  Fun, short, no lines, and bumpy.  Do it once to say you did it.

[Head back to the front now]

* Do Raptor front row.  This makes me kind of pukey (but it's still fun), so I take a rest and eat lunch.
* Do Blue Streak for historical value only.
* Do Wicked Twister twice.  Once in the very front row, once in the very back row.  I personally find the back row scarier because you can't see the end of the track.
[Gatekeeper goes here?]

[Head back to the back now.]

Iron Dragon is kinda fun and great for the kiddies.
Mantis sucks if you're a guy, but it's worth doing just to say you did it.

Now you've ridden or ignored every single coaster.

Go do whatever your favorite rides were (I usually try to get in 2 Mavericks and 3 Millenium Forces/trip and do another loop of the back.)

About an hour before sunset, the lines will die off.  Partly because people are leaving and partly because people are about to do their night ride and they're eating dinner.

Pick a ride that goes through woods with no lights (Millenium Force used to be this).  Ride it in the dark right before closing.  I've never been able to stay late enough to do this, but I rode the Beast at night and it was awesome.
2013-05-14 01:19:57 PM  
1 votes:
Classic rock concert bootlegger Mike Millard got his amazing recordings thanks to being in a wheelchair and being wheeled up to the front and center with his Nakamichi/AKG rig stowed underneath.

I'm disgusted when I see people parking in handicapped spots without proper markings, and certainly would be appalled at someone doing what Millard did to douchily jump amusement park lines, but I gotta say, Millard got some mind-boggling stuff and I'm thankful he did...
2013-05-14 01:09:31 PM  
1 votes:

hitmanric: We purposely planned it for a tues/wed visit. Plus we get early admission passes from our hotel. It wasn't nearly as expensive as I thought it would be. Until we hit the concession stands I'm guessing.


I went to Cedar Point yesterday and did the hotel early admission thing. Went to Gatekeeper first and the only thing that made the wait long was because they didn't run it right away due to the winds. They tested with the water dummies for about 45 min before they finally let people on. Once they did, though, the wait was probably 15-20 min. Then we went to Millenium Force and the wait was probably an hour. I'm glad we went early for that one, because a couple hours later, it was closed temporarily for mechanical issues. Raptor was a 30 min wait. Magnum was 15. We skipped Maverick because the wait was almost 2 hrs. Wanted to do Top Thrill Dragster, but it was closed. Lines for the older rides seemed really short. I'm sure the line for Gatekeeper got longer as the day went on, so my advice is to hit that one first if you have early entry.

/Gatekeeper is awesome
2013-05-14 12:51:18 PM  
1 votes:

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.


Ask my ex-girlfriends.
2013-05-14 12:46:54 PM  
1 votes:
That is the only way I'll go down there. I'd take my autistic nephew or disabled mother in law anytime if it means skipping even a 45 min wait for the Fast Pass line.
2013-05-14 12:46:08 PM  
1 votes:
Meh. It's the Post - New York's very own Daily Mail.
They probably made up the story.
2013-05-14 12:35:29 PM  
1 votes:

drew is pedal: I've been doing this for 2 decades, all you have to do is go to the visitor center and tell them you're handicap. The do not check anything and just hand over  a pass that lets you bypass all the lines.


I'm not sure what is sadder, the fact you do this (if at all you do, and aren't trolling) or the fact you proudly claim to be a patron of Disney for 20 years.
2013-05-14 12:27:09 PM  
1 votes:
Can we keep him ma, can we?

Now now Ashley, you remember the last wounded war veteran we brought home, you barely ever fed him and didn't even seem to have time to attend to his horrific flashbacks.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeese!

Oh all right, but this is the last one.
2013-05-14 12:14:07 PM  
1 votes:
thumbs3.ebaystatic.com
2013-05-14 12:09:52 PM  
1 votes:
Physics Day at 6 Flags Great Adventure was the only enjoyable time I have had at a US amusement park.  All the local PA and NJ AP Physics classes would have the park for just the students and teachers to do "experiments" by holding force meters and other sensors while on the rides. It was about half the usual crowd you would see in there, and we were all high school juniors and seniors so it had a different atmosphere then going with all the Pine Barren townies and screaming little crotch fruit that regularly populate the place.
The AP Physics Teacher I had didn't really give a fark about doing the experiments part of the whole trip because it was a week after we had taken the AP Test; so he handed out random sensors and instruments and said "Just carry these around and pretend to use them if any other teachers ask what you are doing."
2013-05-14 11:53:26 AM  
1 votes:

hitmanric: meanmutton: hitmanric: meanmutton: As someone who is much more interested in the rides than the "theme" part, I find you're better off going to one of the roller coaster parks like Cedar Point.

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.

I'm bringing the family to CP at the end of July. This our first trip to a larger amusement park and this is my greatest fear. That and getting lost in Chicago somewhere.

It's been a LONG time since I've had to wait in significant lines at Cedar Point.  If you're going during the week, the new roller coaster will be over an hour, a couple of the big ones will be 30-45 minutes, but you'll be able to basically walk on like 6-8 roller coasters and all of the small rides.

We purposely planned it for a tues/wed  visit. Plus we get early admission passes from our hotel. It wasn't nearly as expensive as I thought it would be. Until we hit the concession stands I'm guessing.


Going at the beginning/end of the season helps a lot too for the seasonal parks.  There are significant amounts of students stuck in school in May and late August.  Of course all the shows are shut down, as are many of the carnival games and some of the stores and restaurants, but you can walk right onto just about all the rides.  I rode Top Gun/Flight Deck in the front row 5 times in a row at the end of a late August weekday at Kings Island.
2013-05-14 11:43:40 AM  
1 votes:

meanmutton: hitmanric: meanmutton: As someone who is much more interested in the rides than the "theme" part, I find you're better off going to one of the roller coaster parks like Cedar Point.

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.

I'm bringing the family to CP at the end of July. This our first trip to a larger amusement park and this is my greatest fear. That and getting lost in Chicago somewhere.

It's been a LONG time since I've had to wait in significant lines at Cedar Point.  If you're going during the week, the new roller coaster will be over an hour, a couple of the big ones will be 30-45 minutes, but you'll be able to basically walk on like 6-8 roller coasters and all of the small rides.


We purposely planned it for a tues/wed  visit. Plus we get early admission passes from our hotel. It wasn't nearly as expensive as I thought it would be. Until we hit the concession stands I'm guessing.
2013-05-14 11:36:06 AM  
1 votes:
My mother in law got a special pass for Disneyland that indicates she is handicapped and gets to use all the special entrances.  She was in a wheelchair 3 years ago following a back surgery, acquired the pass, and just keeps renewing it.  She's perfectly capable of standing in line now.  I find it pretty farking disgusting, especially when she whips that stupid little card out all the time to demand they help her carry her bags and crap.
2013-05-14 11:32:31 AM  
1 votes:

missmez: whistleridge: My mom is a double amputee (cancer, not the diabeetus). She really wanted to go to Disneyworld for some hellish reason. I loathe the place, but one does not tell one's 70 year old legless mother no when it comes to a request like that.

Neither of us knew anything about this policy. And I have to admit: my loathing level went from eleventy billion to only 110% after they took one look at her, gave us a guide, and gave us instant access to the front of *every* line.

Good for you, Disney, for having at least one humane policy.

/ yes, I have read the books about how much it sucks to work for them

I worked at Disneyland as a ride operator for awhile.  Best job ever.  If my financial responsibilities permitted I would cheerfully go back.


SHUDDUP

Please ignore this raving lunatic. She has obviously consumed some sort of mind altering pharmaceutical. Disney is the devil, and should be avoided at all costs. Especially the theme parks. They suck, are crowded, lame, and over priced. Please, under no circumstances, go anywhere near them. For your own well being.
2013-05-14 11:30:17 AM  
1 votes:

hitmanric: meanmutton: As someone who is much more interested in the rides than the "theme" part, I find you're better off going to one of the roller coaster parks like Cedar Point.

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.

I'm bringing the family to CP at the end of July. This our first trip to a larger amusement park and this is my greatest fear. That and getting lost in Chicago somewhere.


It's been a LONG time since I've had to wait in significant lines at Cedar Point.  If you're going during the week, the new roller coaster will be over an hour, a couple of the big ones will be 30-45 minutes, but you'll be able to basically walk on like 6-8 roller coasters and all of the small rides.
2013-05-14 11:26:29 AM  
1 votes:

toby8915: They changed the way they did this years ago. You use to be able to go around the lines. But what they do now is the person in the wheel chair waits at the front while the able people walk through the line. Also...when has anyone waited 1 1/2 hours for It's a Small World?


So what you're saying is this entire article is BS and the Post is just yanking our chains? Yet you are the only one posting this?

/curious
2013-05-14 11:26:07 AM  
1 votes:

ThatGuyGreg: Meh, that's less & less of a case as time goes by; any queue space that's been built/refurbished in the last few years at least has been wheelchair accessible.

And boy howdy is it fun to watch a cast member tell people that their wheelchair can go right ahead into the line, no special treatment for them.

/rich folks can hire VIP tour hosts anyway


WHy should disabled people be able to jump the line anyway? seems to me that a person sitting in a wheelchar already has it better than the folks standing in the line.   Still the fact that these tour guides exist, and the fact that Disney will bascially sell you the same thing for 400 HUNDRED DOLLARS AN HOUR is sickening to me and a reson 've nevr taken my kid to Disney.  Rather than fix the problem of overcrowded rides by either building more attractions or selling less enterance tickets everyday, Disney basically decides to profit it off it, and give kids a lesson at an early ages  in why the "haves" are better than them
2013-05-14 11:21:06 AM  
1 votes:
aevorea:
Yes. As a former Floridian, the only time I would go to Disney was during the off-season. You're not miserable from the heat and the lines are short enough that nice ride operators will just let you stay on until you get bored or puke.

As a current Floridian I find that the first week of January is an ideal time to go. We stayed 3 days and MK was open until 1 or 3am every day. We walked onto every ride in the park for over 4 hours. With park hopper you spend the daylight at AK or HS then move to Epcot for dinner then MK for late night.
2013-05-14 11:15:59 AM  
1 votes:

Andromeda: Pocket Ninja: Still not good enough. The only way I would consider going to any sort of theme park would be if it was open only for me and a few select guests, as was the case for the Griswolds. There is no other possible scenario in which the fun-to-misery ratio works out to an acceptable level.

When I was a kid my parents took me, bro, and sis to Disney World twice in late January (our three birthdays are within three days of each other that time of year) and we had no issue with lines.  Then I made the mistake of going for a day over spring break in March one year and I understood how hellish it can be and thought I'd never return because it had gotten so busy.

Then last year I was in Orlando in early January for a conference so I went to Epcot for the day with my friend, and all the lines were short again.  I guess it really just depends on what time of year you go- if you're already spending all that money to go down with the family might as well make sure you do it at the time of year when the lines are really short.

/csb


Yes. As a former Floridian, the only time I would go to Disney was during the off-season. You're not miserable from the heat and the lines are short enough that nice ride operators will just let you stay on until you get bored or puke.
2013-05-14 11:06:48 AM  
1 votes:
Just go camping. Why waste your money on an institution that promotes atheism and gay marriage, let alone "mixed" relationships and bestiality, and drugs...
2013-05-14 11:06:02 AM  
1 votes:
Now if these snooty 1%'ers really wanted to troll, they should have rolled their trip into fulfilling wishes for the Make a Wish Foundation. They could pay for real handicapped kids to go to Disney and still have their own crotchfruit get to the front of the line. Win win all around.
2013-05-14 11:05:54 AM  
1 votes:

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.


I always had a theory that it is a version of the placebo effect - if you just go on all the rides straight away, they are actually fairly dull. By building up anticipation for an hour or more, and just the fact hundreds of people will stand in line that long to get on the ride, it makes the ride seem a lot better than it really is, because why would people wait that long if it wasn't great?
2013-05-14 10:57:05 AM  
1 votes:
On the plus side, you have rich elite people supporting diabled people
2013-05-14 10:50:29 AM  
1 votes:
Please... hire someone? We used to rent a wheelchair for that very reason back in school. They could not prove our friend did not need a wheelchair. Even when we showed up with him on crutches and such.
2013-05-14 10:50:17 AM  
1 votes:

Mugato: When I was in high school we met some girls that didn't even put that much thought into it. They just brought a wheelchair. Got in front of all the lines. And laid. But that was a long time ago.


A buddy of mine with hemophilia carries a card in his wallet that allows him to jump to the front of the line (apparently, standing around can cause spontaneous bleeding. How that squares with "being tempest-tossed in a rubber raft" causing bleeding, I have no idea). He's been doing this since the late 1990s.

// dunno if he charged, or if the two friends had to pay for his ticket
// I imagine even The Happiest Place on Earth (that's not Jayma Mays' vag) can get boring if you're there 6 days a week
2013-05-14 10:49:57 AM  
1 votes:
The "black-market Disney guides" run $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day.

Or rent a wheelchair for $12.00 a day and take turns sitting in it.
2013-05-14 10:48:18 AM  
1 votes:
My solution was to visit with my 88 year old grandmother.

Pushing a wheelchair around Epcot was a small price to pay for premium boarding of rides.
2013-05-14 10:27:13 AM  
1 votes:
When I was in high school we met some girls that didn't even put that much thought into it. They just brought a wheelchair. Got in front of all the lines. And laid. But that was a long time ago.
2013-05-14 09:33:16 AM  
1 votes:
Meh, that's less & less of a case as time goes by; any queue space that's been built/refurbished in the last few years at least has been wheelchair accessible.

And boy howdy is it fun to watch a cast member tell people that their wheelchair can go right ahead into the line, no special treatment for them.

/rich folks can hire VIP tour hosts anyway
 
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