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(NYPost)   Problem: all the lines at Disney for the rides are two hours long. Solution: hire a handicapped "tour guide" and get escorted straight up to the front each time   (nypost.com) divider line 142
    More: Interesting, tour guides, Disney, it's a small world, Disney World  
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10233 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2013 at 10:45 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-14 09:33:16 AM  
Meh, that's less & less of a case as time goes by; any queue space that's been built/refurbished in the last few years at least has been wheelchair accessible.

And boy howdy is it fun to watch a cast member tell people that their wheelchair can go right ahead into the line, no special treatment for them.

/rich folks can hire VIP tour hosts anyway
 
2013-05-14 09:42:00 AM  
"It's insider knowledge that very few have"

Not anymore.
 
2013-05-14 09:43:43 AM  
My mom is a double amputee (cancer, not the diabeetus). She really wanted to go to Disneyworld for some hellish reason. I loathe the place, but one does not tell one's 70 year old legless mother no when it comes to a request like that.

Neither of us knew anything about this policy. And I have to admit: my loathing level went from eleventy billion to only 110% after they took one look at her, gave us a guide, and gave us instant access to the front of *every* line.

Good for you, Disney, for having at least one humane policy.

/ yes, I have read the books about how much it sucks to work for them
 
2013-05-14 09:48:22 AM  
you forgot "for a fee"


You should never forget that part
 
2013-05-14 09:53:27 AM  
Still not good enough. The only way I would consider going to any sort of theme park would be if it was open only for me and a few select guests, as was the case for the Griswolds. There is no other possible scenario in which the fun-to-misery ratio works out to an acceptable level.
 
2013-05-14 10:03:25 AM  

Pocket Ninja: Still not good enough. The only way I would consider going to any sort of theme park would be if it was open only for me and a few select guests, as was the case for the Griswolds. There is no other possible scenario in which the fun-to-misery ratio works out to an acceptable level.


Depends.

img43.imageshack.us
Disney escort tour guide service.
 
2013-05-14 10:07:08 AM  

whistleridge: Good for you, Disney, for having at least one humane policy.


10 more years of good behavoir and they can get Walt's soul out of hell and at least into purgatory
 
2013-05-14 10:25:20 AM  
isn't the solution "never go to disneyland?"
 
2013-05-14 10:25:22 AM  

IdBeCrazyIf: whistleridge: Good for you, Disney, for having at least one humane policy.

10 more years of good behavoir and they can get Walt's soul out of hell and at least into purgatory


Only if they resurrect Sonny Bono and have his zombie corpse repeal the Copyright Term Extension Act of 1998. Otherwise, they can continue to burn in hell for vigorously farking over public domain, just to preserve an incredibly outdated cartoon that no one would have wanted to use anyway.
 
2013-05-14 10:27:13 AM  
When I was in high school we met some girls that didn't even put that much thought into it. They just brought a wheelchair. Got in front of all the lines. And laid. But that was a long time ago.
 
2013-05-14 10:43:49 AM  

Pocket Ninja: Still not good enough. The only way I would consider going to any sort of theme park would be if it was open only for me and a few select guests, as was the case for the Griswolds. There is no other possible scenario in which the fun-to-misery ratio works out to an acceptable level.


When I was a kid my parents took me, bro, and sis to Disney World twice in late January (our three birthdays are within three days of each other that time of year) and we had no issue with lines.  Then I made the mistake of going for a day over spring break in March one year and I understood how hellish it can be and thought I'd never return because it had gotten so busy.

Then last year I was in Orlando in early January for a conference so I went to Epcot for the day with my friend, and all the lines were short again.  I guess it really just depends on what time of year you go- if you're already spending all that money to go down with the family might as well make sure you do it at the time of year when the lines are really short.

/csb
 
2013-05-14 10:48:18 AM  
My solution was to visit with my 88 year old grandmother.

Pushing a wheelchair around Epcot was a small price to pay for premium boarding of rides.
 
2013-05-14 10:49:43 AM  
Oh sure, lets target the 1%. Sure they scoff at the countless double shifts and overtime needed to reach a lofty corner cube position. You've put the time in, it's yours now. That's right the masses sit in their cubicle listening to that crappy muzak two cubes overs, staring at photos of your dream vacation, just waiting to look at Becky from accounting with those Judy Geib earrings and the tight sweater she always wears on Tuesday and uh well.....I'll get that data sheet for you Jack. Nobody wants to wait in lines anyway, do they?
 twg2a.files.wordpress.com
www.mrc.org
 
2013-05-14 10:49:57 AM  
The "black-market Disney guides" run $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day.

Or rent a wheelchair for $12.00 a day and take turns sitting in it.
 
2013-05-14 10:50:17 AM  

Mugato: When I was in high school we met some girls that didn't even put that much thought into it. They just brought a wheelchair. Got in front of all the lines. And laid. But that was a long time ago.


A buddy of mine with hemophilia carries a card in his wallet that allows him to jump to the front of the line (apparently, standing around can cause spontaneous bleeding. How that squares with "being tempest-tossed in a rubber raft" causing bleeding, I have no idea). He's been doing this since the late 1990s.

// dunno if he charged, or if the two friends had to pay for his ticket
// I imagine even The Happiest Place on Earth (that's not Jayma Mays' vag) can get boring if you're there 6 days a week
 
2013-05-14 10:50:29 AM  
Please... hire someone? We used to rent a wheelchair for that very reason back in school. They could not prove our friend did not need a wheelchair. Even when we showed up with him on crutches and such.
 
2013-05-14 10:50:45 AM  
As someone who is much more interested in the rides than the "theme" part, I find you're better off going to one of the roller coaster parks like Cedar Point.
 
2013-05-14 10:50:48 AM  
You gotta love how NY Post plays both sides of the fence.  If it's not about socialists cheating money from the the job creators it's about snooty limousine libs taking advantage of the system.

Great stuff.
 
2013-05-14 10:53:47 AM  
My son would qualify for this special dispensation, but I find it more important to teach him patience than to teach him privilege.

Having a family member employed there, we get the benefit of free entrance when he's available to let us in, which is the only reason I go there anyway.  Drinking around the world in Epcot is pretty damn fun.
 
2013-05-14 10:54:42 AM  
Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.
 
2013-05-14 10:56:08 AM  
This story should give every life skills program in the Orlando and Anaheim areas the greatest fundraising opportunity ever.
 
2013-05-14 10:56:23 AM  

Andromeda: if you're already spending all that money to go down with the family might as well make sure you do it at the time of year when the lines are really short.


The only reason for going there is for the kids, it is hard to arrange a time when only your kids are out of school. Kings Island (Cincinnati) was great because schools in Kentucky ended one week before Ohio.
 
2013-05-14 10:57:05 AM  
On the plus side, you have rich elite people supporting diabled people
 
2013-05-14 10:57:05 AM  
"My daughter waited one minute to get on 'It's a Small World' - the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours," crowed one mom, "You can't go to Disney without a tour concierge,'' she sniffed. "This is how the 1 percent does Disney."

Seems legit.

Though I'm surprised that bastion of journalistic integrity, the NY Post, would fail to describe in detail either the Snidely-Whiplash-moustache-twirling, or the live baby seal sacrifices taking place nearby.
 
2013-05-14 10:57:57 AM  
#1 rule about "Black-Market Disney Guides" is to not talk about.......
 
2013-05-14 10:59:14 AM  
I don't know, for me, when you are on vacation and in the "vacation mindset" you don't mind doing ridiculous things like waiting longer in line, paying 6 dollars for a can of soda, etc...
 
2013-05-14 10:59:22 AM  
I travelled with a wheelchair-bound friend on a cruise. She got me in everywhere.

/bada bing
 
2013-05-14 11:02:36 AM  
I took my family to Disney back in 2000. We went during the 1st week of September. The lines weren't too bad, but the did offer a special 2-hour limited access pass to the rides. It wasn't terribly expensive and during those 2 hours, there was never more than a 2 minute wait.

/csd?
 
2013-05-14 11:02:37 AM  

meanmutton: As someone who is much more interested in the rides than the "theme" part, I find you're better off going to one of the roller coaster parks like Cedar Point.


fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.


I'm bringing the family to CP at the end of July. This our first trip to a larger amusement park and this is my greatest fear. That and getting lost in Chicago somewhere.
 
2013-05-14 11:04:54 AM  
Please we did it the old fashion 99 percenter way by having my dad break his leg in multiple places....but then he refused to use the wheelchair in line and would crutch it for the regular lines.  No Swiss Family Robinson treehouse though

Honestly with all of the people in wheelchairs down there now due to size issues, the wheelchair lines don't save you that much time (because a 10-12 deep line has to wait for the specific cars which can take a bit).  It used to be a short line but over the years it has been getting just as backed up and the lines are pretty fair.  Occasionally the regular line is shorter. Most people tend not to care if people go in the other line for whatever reason (i.e. why care if someone is moving to the front of the line) especially with some of the new games for kids in the main line.
 
2013-05-14 11:05:01 AM  

wambu: I travelled with a wheelchair-bound friend on a cruise. She got me in everywhere.

/bada bing


Having a friend with a handicapped parking sticker is great also.
 
2013-05-14 11:05:54 AM  

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.


I always had a theory that it is a version of the placebo effect - if you just go on all the rides straight away, they are actually fairly dull. By building up anticipation for an hour or more, and just the fact hundreds of people will stand in line that long to get on the ride, it makes the ride seem a lot better than it really is, because why would people wait that long if it wasn't great?
 
2013-05-14 11:06:02 AM  
Now if these snooty 1%'ers really wanted to troll, they should have rolled their trip into fulfilling wishes for the Make a Wish Foundation. They could pay for real handicapped kids to go to Disney and still have their own crotchfruit get to the front of the line. Win win all around.
 
2013-05-14 11:06:48 AM  
Just go camping. Why waste your money on an institution that promotes atheism and gay marriage, let alone "mixed" relationships and bestiality, and drugs...
 
2013-05-14 11:08:05 AM  

Charlie Chingas: Just go camping. Why waste your money on an institution that promotes atheism and gay marriage, let alone "mixed" relationships and bestiality, and drugs...


I like those things.
 
2013-05-14 11:09:50 AM  

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.


Well if If I had to go to an Amusement park with Jerry I would hate it too.
I've heard the Rhythmic slapping shower ride goes downhill really fast.
 
2013-05-14 11:11:37 AM  

whistleridge: My mom is a double amputee (cancer, not the diabeetus). She really wanted to go to Disneyworld for some hellish reason. I loathe the place, but one does not tell one's 70 year old legless mother no when it comes to a request like that.

Neither of us knew anything about this policy. And I have to admit: my loathing level went from eleventy billion to only 110% after they took one look at her, gave us a guide, and gave us instant access to the front of *every* line.

Good for you, Disney, for having at least one humane policy.

/ yes, I have read the books about how much it sucks to work for them


I worked at Disneyland as a ride operator for awhile.  Best job ever.  If my financial responsibilities permitted I would cheerfully go back.
 
2013-05-14 11:12:14 AM  

Amper: "My daughter waited one minute to get on 'It's a Small World' - the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours," crowed one mom, "You can't go to Disney without a tour concierge,'' she sniffed. "This is how the 1 percent does Disney."

Seems legit.

Though I'm surprised that bastion of journalistic integrity, the NY Post, would fail to describe in detail either the Snidely-Whiplash-moustache-twirling, or the live baby seal sacrifices taking place nearby.


Of course the best possible solution is to skip It's a Small World entirely.

/earworm
 
2013-05-14 11:14:46 AM  
They changed the way they did this years ago. You use to be able to go around the lines. But what they do now is the person in the wheel chair waits at the front while the able people walk through the line. Also...when has anyone waited 1 1/2 hours for It's a Small World?
 
2013-05-14 11:15:43 AM  
Bruce Campbell:  Drinking around the world in Epcot is pretty damn fun.

Whatever that stuff is they sell you in a shot glass in Norway almost ended my vacation.
 
2013-05-14 11:15:59 AM  

Andromeda: Pocket Ninja: Still not good enough. The only way I would consider going to any sort of theme park would be if it was open only for me and a few select guests, as was the case for the Griswolds. There is no other possible scenario in which the fun-to-misery ratio works out to an acceptable level.

When I was a kid my parents took me, bro, and sis to Disney World twice in late January (our three birthdays are within three days of each other that time of year) and we had no issue with lines.  Then I made the mistake of going for a day over spring break in March one year and I understood how hellish it can be and thought I'd never return because it had gotten so busy.

Then last year I was in Orlando in early January for a conference so I went to Epcot for the day with my friend, and all the lines were short again.  I guess it really just depends on what time of year you go- if you're already spending all that money to go down with the family might as well make sure you do it at the time of year when the lines are really short.

/csb


Yes. As a former Floridian, the only time I would go to Disney was during the off-season. You're not miserable from the heat and the lines are short enough that nice ride operators will just let you stay on until you get bored or puke.
 
2013-05-14 11:18:32 AM  
SB time (not sure if its cool but it's a story bro)

MANY moons ago, when I was gradulating from high school we all went to DismalLand for "Grad Night". Back then there was NO head-of-the-line deals like this BUT they also would NOT let me on any of the "spectacular" rides without first signing a "I won't sue you if I get hurt" waiver! Which is pretty farked considering I could have likely climbed ANY of the rides faster than any of Disney's ride-monkeys! Tragic Mountain also had the same policy so I pretty much skipped the amusement parks as a kid. I DID manage to go on the Revolution at Tragic Mountain once, but only because my buddy and I "rushed" the ride and got on before a supervisor noticed me and informed me of their "sign this waiver or don't ride" policy.

A year or 3 out of high school I ran away to join the circus/carnival circuit and was in HEAVEN! Not only could I ride ANY ride on the midway but for FREE! After about 10 years of the carnie life I can safely say I've ridden EVERY ride that I had enough nerve to get on. I never rode the Zipper or Skydiver, but, hey I was YOUNG, not crazy!

Now I wonder if maybe I should return to Disney and offer my "services"? Anyone know a 1%'er who could hook me up with that "special" phone number?

/csb ? you be the judge
//slashies
///cuz you always gotta go 3
 
2013-05-14 11:19:17 AM  
Last time I was at DW I talked with a few employee's behind the scenes including a guy who does programming for some of the major robotic (forgot what he called it) systems.  Even the young guys said the job wasnt that bad, some of them even loved it.  Yea there was a bit of a weird "cult vibe" to some of it but as far as work goes it was steady and not too stressful.
 
2013-05-14 11:20:13 AM  
why bother taking a 1 year old and a 5 year old? 1 year old has no clue whats going on----a car ride around the block works for them and it puts them to sleep---lets not forget that you have a stroller, diaper bag, etc to lug around all day. The five year old is probably freaked out by all the stimuli and people dressed in charachter costumes. After an hour you'lll find your self carrying them the rest of the way. But I guess if I have the cash to hire a disabled person for the day you won't have to be "bothered" with all that and hire another person for all those duties. And if i have that kind of money and I am that shallow, why did I go along anyway? Let the nanny do all the leg work while I hang out in the Bahamas until they are "done" at Disney World. And if I was rich and shallow and could ship the kids off like that, wife sits poolside and spends more of my money while I go have an affair. Yay rich people.
 
2013-05-14 11:20:56 AM  

Mugato: When I was in high school we met some girls that didn't even put that much thought into it. They just brought a wheelchair. Got in front of all the lines. And laid. But that was a long time ago.


I was about to say, this option seems much cheaper.
 
2013-05-14 11:21:06 AM  
aevorea:
Yes. As a former Floridian, the only time I would go to Disney was during the off-season. You're not miserable from the heat and the lines are short enough that nice ride operators will just let you stay on until you get bored or puke.

As a current Floridian I find that the first week of January is an ideal time to go. We stayed 3 days and MK was open until 1 or 3am every day. We walked onto every ride in the park for over 4 hours. With park hopper you spend the daylight at AK or HS then move to Epcot for dinner then MK for late night.
 
2013-05-14 11:26:07 AM  

ThatGuyGreg: Meh, that's less & less of a case as time goes by; any queue space that's been built/refurbished in the last few years at least has been wheelchair accessible.

And boy howdy is it fun to watch a cast member tell people that their wheelchair can go right ahead into the line, no special treatment for them.

/rich folks can hire VIP tour hosts anyway


WHy should disabled people be able to jump the line anyway? seems to me that a person sitting in a wheelchar already has it better than the folks standing in the line.   Still the fact that these tour guides exist, and the fact that Disney will bascially sell you the same thing for 400 HUNDRED DOLLARS AN HOUR is sickening to me and a reson 've nevr taken my kid to Disney.  Rather than fix the problem of overcrowded rides by either building more attractions or selling less enterance tickets everyday, Disney basically decides to profit it off it, and give kids a lesson at an early ages  in why the "haves" are better than them
 
2013-05-14 11:26:29 AM  

toby8915: They changed the way they did this years ago. You use to be able to go around the lines. But what they do now is the person in the wheel chair waits at the front while the able people walk through the line. Also...when has anyone waited 1 1/2 hours for It's a Small World?


So what you're saying is this entire article is BS and the Post is just yanking our chains? Yet you are the only one posting this?

/curious
 
2013-05-14 11:30:02 AM  
The older I get, the less I will stand in line. I can get free passes to Six Flags over GA, but I hate standing in lines so much that I rarely go.  PAY to stand in line, as people have mentioned, an hour for a two or three minute ride. You're out of you're farking mind.
 
2013-05-14 11:30:17 AM  

hitmanric: meanmutton: As someone who is much more interested in the rides than the "theme" part, I find you're better off going to one of the roller coaster parks like Cedar Point.

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.

I'm bringing the family to CP at the end of July. This our first trip to a larger amusement park and this is my greatest fear. That and getting lost in Chicago somewhere.


It's been a LONG time since I've had to wait in significant lines at Cedar Point.  If you're going during the week, the new roller coaster will be over an hour, a couple of the big ones will be 30-45 minutes, but you'll be able to basically walk on like 6-8 roller coasters and all of the small rides.
 
2013-05-14 11:32:31 AM  

missmez: whistleridge: My mom is a double amputee (cancer, not the diabeetus). She really wanted to go to Disneyworld for some hellish reason. I loathe the place, but one does not tell one's 70 year old legless mother no when it comes to a request like that.

Neither of us knew anything about this policy. And I have to admit: my loathing level went from eleventy billion to only 110% after they took one look at her, gave us a guide, and gave us instant access to the front of *every* line.

Good for you, Disney, for having at least one humane policy.

/ yes, I have read the books about how much it sucks to work for them

I worked at Disneyland as a ride operator for awhile.  Best job ever.  If my financial responsibilities permitted I would cheerfully go back.


SHUDDUP

Please ignore this raving lunatic. She has obviously consumed some sort of mind altering pharmaceutical. Disney is the devil, and should be avoided at all costs. Especially the theme parks. They suck, are crowded, lame, and over priced. Please, under no circumstances, go anywhere near them. For your own well being.
 
2013-05-14 11:35:37 AM  
Job creators, putting the disabled to work.
 
2013-05-14 11:36:06 AM  
My mother in law got a special pass for Disneyland that indicates she is handicapped and gets to use all the special entrances.  She was in a wheelchair 3 years ago following a back surgery, acquired the pass, and just keeps renewing it.  She's perfectly capable of standing in line now.  I find it pretty farking disgusting, especially when she whips that stupid little card out all the time to demand they help her carry her bags and crap.
 
2013-05-14 11:37:25 AM  
ha. in highschool an end of year trip Was to disneyland, and I Was totally in the group with a wheelchair friend. people snickered the days leading up to it, but were sufficiently pissed when we got on every ride worth going on while most everyone else got 2 or 3.

/csb
 
2013-05-14 11:38:37 AM  
I just do this

anotherpretentiouswhitekid.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-14 11:41:16 AM  

Magorn: ThatGuyGreg: Meh, that's less & less of a case as time goes by; any queue space that's been built/refurbished in the last few years at least has been wheelchair accessible.

And boy howdy is it fun to watch a cast member tell people that their wheelchair can go right ahead into the line, no special treatment for them.

/rich folks can hire VIP tour hosts anyway

WHy should disabled people be able to jump the line anyway? seems to me that a person sitting in a wheelchar already has it better than the folks standing in the line.   Still the fact that these tour guides exist, and the fact that Disney will bascially sell you the same thing for 400 HUNDRED DOLLARS AN HOUR is sickening to me and a reson 've nevr taken my kid to Disney.  Rather than fix the problem of overcrowded rides by either building more attractions or selling less enterance tickets everyday, Disney basically decides to profit it off it, and give kids a lesson at an early ages  in why the "haves" are better than them


Wanna know how I know you don't know any people who spend their lives in wheelchairs? It's in  BOLD in your post.  Seriously, even with regards to the whole line thing, how does being in a wheelchair equate to being better off than folks who are STANDING in line? Yes, I always have a seat when I go to events where folks have to stand around or sit on the ground but I would GLADLY change places with anyone who thinks being in the chair is somehow better.

Yes, I know I picked your line totally out of context and ran with it, but seriously?
 
2013-05-14 11:42:06 AM  

missmez: whistleridge: My mom is a double amputee (cancer, not the diabeetus). She really wanted to go to Disneyworld for some hellish reason. I loathe the place, but one does not tell one's 70 year old legless mother no when it comes to a request like that.

Neither of us knew anything about this policy. And I have to admit: my loathing level went from eleventy billion to only 110% after they took one look at her, gave us a guide, and gave us instant access to the front of *every* line.

Good for you, Disney, for having at least one humane policy.

/ yes, I have read the books about how much it sucks to work for them

I worked at Disneyland as a ride operator for awhile.  Best job ever.  If my financial responsibilities permitted I would cheerfully go back.


So...if you have a choice between 'fun' and 'pays a living wage', you opt for 'pays a living wage'? Got it.
 
2013-05-14 11:43:40 AM  

meanmutton: hitmanric: meanmutton: As someone who is much more interested in the rides than the "theme" part, I find you're better off going to one of the roller coaster parks like Cedar Point.

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.

I'm bringing the family to CP at the end of July. This our first trip to a larger amusement park and this is my greatest fear. That and getting lost in Chicago somewhere.

It's been a LONG time since I've had to wait in significant lines at Cedar Point.  If you're going during the week, the new roller coaster will be over an hour, a couple of the big ones will be 30-45 minutes, but you'll be able to basically walk on like 6-8 roller coasters and all of the small rides.


We purposely planned it for a tues/wed  visit. Plus we get early admission passes from our hotel. It wasn't nearly as expensive as I thought it would be. Until we hit the concession stands I'm guessing.
 
2013-05-14 11:51:12 AM  
Am I the only one here who thinks faking being in a wheelchair is wrong? Disney should take you into their underground lair and beat the shiat out of you for that.
 
2013-05-14 11:53:26 AM  

hitmanric: meanmutton: hitmanric: meanmutton: As someone who is much more interested in the rides than the "theme" part, I find you're better off going to one of the roller coaster parks like Cedar Point.

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.

I'm bringing the family to CP at the end of July. This our first trip to a larger amusement park and this is my greatest fear. That and getting lost in Chicago somewhere.

It's been a LONG time since I've had to wait in significant lines at Cedar Point.  If you're going during the week, the new roller coaster will be over an hour, a couple of the big ones will be 30-45 minutes, but you'll be able to basically walk on like 6-8 roller coasters and all of the small rides.

We purposely planned it for a tues/wed  visit. Plus we get early admission passes from our hotel. It wasn't nearly as expensive as I thought it would be. Until we hit the concession stands I'm guessing.


Going at the beginning/end of the season helps a lot too for the seasonal parks.  There are significant amounts of students stuck in school in May and late August.  Of course all the shows are shut down, as are many of the carnival games and some of the stores and restaurants, but you can walk right onto just about all the rides.  I rode Top Gun/Flight Deck in the front row 5 times in a row at the end of a late August weekday at Kings Island.
 
2013-05-14 11:55:12 AM  

missmez: I worked at Disneyland as a ride operator for awhile. Best job ever. If my financial responsibilities permitted I would cheerfully go back.


Ditto.  I was in custodial, so I'd want to do something different now that I'm older, but I'd work for Disney again in a heartbeat.
 
2013-05-14 11:56:08 AM  
i remember (bw tv) when i was being told that the handicapd just wanted to be treated like everyone else
 
2013-05-14 11:57:01 AM  
As the 99% ers storm the gated communities and begin feasting on the flesh of the rich the world will wonder,

What the hell took so long?
 
2013-05-14 11:58:32 AM  

a61sun: Magorn: ThatGuyGreg: Meh, that's less & less of a case as time goes by; any queue space that's been built/refurbished in the last few years at least has been wheelchair accessible.

And boy howdy is it fun to watch a cast member tell people that their wheelchair can go right ahead into the line, no special treatment for them.

/rich folks can hire VIP tour hosts anyway

WHy should disabled people be able to jump the line anyway? seems to me that a person sitting in a wheelchar already has it better than the folks standing in the line.   Still the fact that these tour guides exist, and the fact that Disney will bascially sell you the same thing for 400 HUNDRED DOLLARS AN HOUR is sickening to me and a reson 've nevr taken my kid to Disney.  Rather than fix the problem of overcrowded rides by either building more attractions or selling less enterance tickets everyday, Disney basically decides to profit it off it, and give kids a lesson at an early ages  in why the "haves" are better than them

Wanna know how I know you don't know any people who spend their lives in wheelchairs? It's in  BOLD in your post.  Seriously, even with regards to the whole line thing, how does being in a wheelchair equate to being better off than folks who are STANDING in line? Yes, I always have a seat when I go to events where folks have to stand around or sit on the ground but I would GLADLY change places with anyone who thinks being in the chair is somehow better.

Yes, I know I picked your line totally out of context and ran with it, but seriously?


Not seriously,  it was DEEPLY toungue-in Cheek...sorry about that . My sick sense of humor gets the best of me sometimes....the rest of the post, being pissed at Disney? a touch more sincere
 
2013-05-14 12:04:45 PM  

smitty04: Andromeda: if you're already spending all that money to go down with the family might as well make sure you do it at the time of year when the lines are really short.

The only reason for going there is for the kids, it is hard to arrange a time when only your kids are out of school. Kings Island (Cincinnati) was great because schools in Kentucky ended one week before Ohio.


7th grade-12th I lived about 2.5 mi away from Kings Island.  Had season passes every summer.  Plenty of times there were no lines.  I remember riding the Beast 6 times in a row in the front seat.  Awesome.  Back then, even if there were lines, it didn't matter.  You were hanging out with friends the whole time, and it was way more fun than being at home.
Now I can't take the lines.  Ugh.  It would be easier if you could drink in line, but no.  Going to try the vip/fast pass or whatever it's called there as soon as the nephew and nieces are old enough to enjoy it.
 
2013-05-14 12:09:52 PM  
Physics Day at 6 Flags Great Adventure was the only enjoyable time I have had at a US amusement park.  All the local PA and NJ AP Physics classes would have the park for just the students and teachers to do "experiments" by holding force meters and other sensors while on the rides. It was about half the usual crowd you would see in there, and we were all high school juniors and seniors so it had a different atmosphere then going with all the Pine Barren townies and screaming little crotch fruit that regularly populate the place.
The AP Physics Teacher I had didn't really give a fark about doing the experiments part of the whole trip because it was a week after we had taken the AP Test; so he handed out random sensors and instruments and said "Just carry these around and pretend to use them if any other teachers ask what you are doing."
 
2013-05-14 12:13:25 PM  
This has probably been covered, but...

It's a lot cheaper and easier to just use a pair of crutches and an ace bandage.
 
2013-05-14 12:14:07 PM  
thumbs3.ebaystatic.com
 
2013-05-14 12:15:44 PM  
Also, speaking of amusement park lines, the company I work for rents out Six Flags a couple of times a year and that's a lot of fun.  It's the only way I go now, you can ride a coaster, get to the end and then keep your seat if you want to go around again.
 
2013-05-14 12:18:42 PM  
Disney gets an A+ on serving the handicap guests. My only complaint is that the person renting the handicapped guests isn't gouging the scum renters 10x more. Rich people hire servants everyday and for every mundane task - that's great - but let's get them to REALLY pay.
Oh, and anyone that fakes a handicap to BE the tour guide should get banned from the Disney properties for life.
 
2013-05-14 12:22:58 PM  
I'm in the wrong line of business.
 
2013-05-14 12:23:27 PM  

whistleridge: My mom is a double amputee (cancer, not the diabeetus). She really wanted to go to Disneyworld for some hellish reason. I loathe the place, but one does not tell one's 70 year old legless mother no when it comes to a request like that.

Neither of us knew anything about this policy. And I have to admit: my loathing level went from eleventy billion to only 110% after they took one look at her, gave us a guide, and gave us instant access to the front of *every* line.

Good for you, Disney, for having at least one humane policy.

/ yes, I have read the books about how much it sucks to work for them


Why does your mother's lack of legs prevent her from waiting in line like everybody else? Being crippled shouldn't entitle anyone to special privileges.
 
2013-05-14 12:23:35 PM  
 "It's dickbag insider knowledge that very few have"

Fixed
 
2013-05-14 12:26:20 PM  

itsaidwhat: Disney gets an A+ on serving the handicap guests. My only complaint is that the person renting the handicapped guests isn't gouging the scum renters 10x more. Rich people hire servants everyday and for every mundane task - that's great - but let's get them to REALLY pay.
Oh, and anyone that fakes a handicap to BE the tour guide should get banned from the Disney properties for life.


Only thing about this story is the outrage in it about the people hiring a cheap disabled tour guide instead of the more expensive Disney VIP solution
 
2013-05-14 12:27:09 PM  
Can we keep him ma, can we?

Now now Ashley, you remember the last wounded war veteran we brought home, you barely ever fed him and didn't even seem to have time to attend to his horrific flashbacks.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeese!

Oh all right, but this is the last one.
 
2013-05-14 12:27:38 PM  
Faking a disability to get special perks is truly farked up.

/CSB time

My mother had a stroke a few years back and is confined to a wheelchair.  One of my cousins worked for Clarence Clemmons, and got us floor seats when Springsteen played MSG.  (As an aside, it was a decent show, even though I am not a fan)  So, we're on the floor, in the handi section, and there's a few others around in wheelchairs.  At the end of the show, a guy in a chair got up and walked out.  farking scumbag.
Even though I have a handicapped parking pass in my car for when I have to cart my mother around, I NEVER use it unless it's legit, unlike others I see.

Morals, where the fark are they people?
 
2013-05-14 12:29:28 PM  

Langdon Alger: why bother taking a 1 year old and a 5 year old? 1 year old has no clue whats going on----a car ride around the block works for them and it puts them to sleep---lets not forget that you have a stroller, diaper bag, etc to lug around all day. The five year old is probably freaked out by all the stimuli and people dressed in charachter costumes. After an hour you'lll find your self carrying them the rest of the way. But I guess if I have the cash to hire a disabled person for the day you won't have to be "bothered" with all that and hire another person for all those duties. And if i have that kind of money and I am that shallow, why did I go along anyway? Let the nanny do all the leg work while I hang out in the Bahamas until they are "done" at Disney World. And if I was rich and shallow and could ship the kids off like that, wife sits poolside and spends more of my money while I go have an affair. Yay rich people.


They probably have a convoy behind them carrying all that crap, and two farkin' nannies to change the kids when they shiat themselves...the only time they will touch their crotchfruit is when the get the obligatory hug at private school graduation...
 
2013-05-14 12:33:37 PM  
I've been doing this for 2 decades, all you have to do is go to the visitor center and tell them you're handicap. The do not check anything and just hand over  a pass that lets you bypass all the lines.
 
2013-05-14 12:35:29 PM  

drew is pedal: I've been doing this for 2 decades, all you have to do is go to the visitor center and tell them you're handicap. The do not check anything and just hand over  a pass that lets you bypass all the lines.


I'm not sure what is sadder, the fact you do this (if at all you do, and aren't trolling) or the fact you proudly claim to be a patron of Disney for 20 years.
 
2013-05-14 12:40:26 PM  
stuffy:  I'm in the wrong line of business.

I'm in the wrong class.
 
2013-05-14 12:42:48 PM  
Langdon Alger
why bother taking a 1 year old and a 5 year old? 1 year old has no clue whats going on----a car ride around the block works for them and it puts them to sleep

My daughter just turned 3 and she's been to Disney World 6 times, first trip at 7 months. Best 6 of the 21 trips I've taken. Dont let anyone tell you kids are too young to go. She talks about the rides and characters all the time, wants to look at pictures and watch videos of her favorites. The only difference for me is I have to be more flexible and do things like the Disney Jr show that I would not have otherwise done.
(also, we dont have a nanny or hire a disabled person, but sometimes grandmas and grandpops tag along)


And to kick up the outrage a little, you dont need a wheelchair to get to the front of the line, those fat people scooters work too. They are EVERYWHERE. More prevalant then wheelchairs.
 
2013-05-14 12:42:53 PM  

hitmanric: meanmutton: As someone who is much more interested in the rides than the "theme" part, I find you're better off going to one of the roller coaster parks like Cedar Point.

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.

I'm bringing the family to CP at the end of July. This our first trip to a larger amusement park and this is my greatest fear. That and getting lost in Chicago somewhere.


Skip CP and go to Michigan Adventure in Muskegon. I had an operator apologize for the long wait...10 minutes on a Saturday in July. Big enough to be fun, small enough to be managable.

World of Fun/Oceans of Fun in KCMO is another excellent park without crowds and hassle.

Disneyworld: once was enough for a lifetime.
 
2013-05-14 12:44:38 PM  

drew is pedal: I've been doing this for 2 decades, all you have to do is go to the visitor center and tell them you're handicap. The do not check anything and just hand over  a pass that lets you bypass all the lines.


Wow, congratulations.  You must be very proud of yourself.
 
2013-05-14 12:46:08 PM  
Meh. It's the Post - New York's very own Daily Mail.
They probably made up the story.
 
2013-05-14 12:46:54 PM  
That is the only way I'll go down there. I'd take my autistic nephew or disabled mother in law anytime if it means skipping even a 45 min wait for the Fast Pass line.
 
2013-05-14 12:51:18 PM  

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.


Ask my ex-girlfriends.
 
2013-05-14 12:54:47 PM  
We did go the week after the WTC fell, and there were no lines anywhere. It was awesome.
 
2013-05-14 12:59:48 PM  
$1000 to hang around with some skeevy handicapped person with questionable ethics for a day? I bet you find the same thing at your local bus station for free.
 
2013-05-14 01:04:45 PM  
Interestingly, I went to Disneyland yesterday (it was 93 and sunny - an awesome day). The place was pretty much empty. Other than the Cars area of California Adventure, the longest line was about 15 minutes long.

 
That said, my g/f and I chuckled when we heard a line attendant tell a handicapped group that the line was fully accessible and they could join in just behind us. Immediately the group said that the person, other than one in the wheelchair, couldn't stand for 15 minutes. We just looked at each other and wondered how they could walk around the park all day with their grandma in a wheelchair, but couldn't stand in line for 15 minutes. If they had it that bad, maybe they should be in a wheelchair too.

 
/has a brother who is handicapped and can't walk

//the other brother is a Dis executive.

///comp tickets 4 eva
 
2013-05-14 01:05:02 PM  
Why do you commies hate America and capitalism?
 
2013-05-14 01:09:31 PM  

hitmanric: We purposely planned it for a tues/wed visit. Plus we get early admission passes from our hotel. It wasn't nearly as expensive as I thought it would be. Until we hit the concession stands I'm guessing.


I went to Cedar Point yesterday and did the hotel early admission thing. Went to Gatekeeper first and the only thing that made the wait long was because they didn't run it right away due to the winds. They tested with the water dummies for about 45 min before they finally let people on. Once they did, though, the wait was probably 15-20 min. Then we went to Millenium Force and the wait was probably an hour. I'm glad we went early for that one, because a couple hours later, it was closed temporarily for mechanical issues. Raptor was a 30 min wait. Magnum was 15. We skipped Maverick because the wait was almost 2 hrs. Wanted to do Top Thrill Dragster, but it was closed. Lines for the older rides seemed really short. I'm sure the line for Gatekeeper got longer as the day went on, so my advice is to hit that one first if you have early entry.

/Gatekeeper is awesome
 
2013-05-14 01:15:15 PM  

JesusJuice: whistleridge: My mom is a double amputee (cancer, not the diabeetus). She really wanted to go to Disneyworld for some hellish reason. I loathe the place, but one does not tell one's 70 year old legless mother no when it comes to a request like that.

Neither of us knew anything about this policy. And I have to admit: my loathing level went from eleventy billion to only 110% after they took one look at her, gave us a guide, and gave us instant access to the front of *every* line.

Good for you, Disney, for having at least one humane policy.

/ yes, I have read the books about how much it sucks to work for them

Why does your mother's lack of legs prevent her from waiting in line like everybody else? Being crippled shouldn't entitle anyone to special privileges.


Hey, man, don't blame me. I was entirely prepared to wait it out. But if they're offering...
 
2013-05-14 01:19:57 PM  
Classic rock concert bootlegger Mike Millard got his amazing recordings thanks to being in a wheelchair and being wheeled up to the front and center with his Nakamichi/AKG rig stowed underneath.

I'm disgusted when I see people parking in handicapped spots without proper markings, and certainly would be appalled at someone doing what Millard did to douchily jump amusement park lines, but I gotta say, Millard got some mind-boggling stuff and I'm thankful he did...
 
2013-05-14 01:20:00 PM  
way back in my junior high years, a bunch of families in the neighborhood went to Dorney Park in PA.

one of the parents was deaf, and showed all of the kids how to pretend to be deaf.

and all of us kids got in for free.
 
2013-05-14 01:28:38 PM  
Bullshiat, if you've got an IQ above room temperature you can figure out how to use the FastPasses
Get there early in the AM and get as many as you can, relax see a show or two, shop, eat some lunch, get an adult beverage or two at Epcot  and then spend the afternoon riding 5-6 of the main attraction rides in a row.
 
2013-05-14 01:37:52 PM  

Russ1642: Am I the only one here who thinks faking being in a wheelchair is wrong? Disney should take you into their underground lair and beat the shiat out of you for that.


tripleseven: Faking a disability to get special perks is truly farked up.


Not-so-CSB:
I was in a very bad horseback riding accident as a young teenager; for a brief few seconds after I hit the ground, I had no feeling below my waist. Those few moments of paralysis scared the ever-living shiate out of me. I went through months of physical therapy, but still wound up with permanent head/neck/back & nerve damage. I could easily qualify for a handicap placard for my car, but have never taken my doctors up on the offer.

Why not? Because I am farking grateful to still have use of my legs. Save the special parking spaces, wheelchairs & ADA entrances for people who really need them.

/can't help but think some of these fakers are just begging for a karmic ass kicking
 
2013-05-14 01:45:09 PM  

NuttierThanEver: Bullshiat, if you've got an IQ above room temperature you can figure out how to use the FastPasses
Get there early in the AM and get as many as you can, relax see a show or two, shop, eat some lunch, get an adult beverage or two at Epcot  and then spend the afternoon riding 5-6 of the main attraction rides in a row.


I thought you could one get one Fastpass at a time though (since it is tied to your E-Ticket they know if you already have an "outstanding" one)... am I wrong on that though?  Or is their a more expensive ticket that lets you "stock up"?

My FastPass story though is from a few years ago, and we were in front of the Toy Story 3d ride.  I think the ride said something like 60 minutes wait time, and we were standing in front of it like "Oh, is this going to be cool enough to wait, blah blah", and there was a castmember there that we ended up asking a question or two about it, and then he handed us a "FP" slip.   We were all a little confused because I didn't particularly look at the time on it and were asking "So, this gets us in later", and he was basically like "OK rubes, just shut up and get in the fast line".   So, one, apparently this is a thing that they'll pepper some people with "instant fast passes", and two, if you act earnest and like you don't know anything about the ride, you can probably get one.
 
2013-05-14 01:49:25 PM  

dletter: NuttierThanEver: Bullshiat, if you've got an IQ above room temperature you can figure out how to use the FastPasses
Get there early in the AM and get as many as you can, relax see a show or two, shop, eat some lunch, get an adult beverage or two at Epcot  and then spend the afternoon riding 5-6 of the main attraction rides in a row.

I thought you could one get one Fastpass at a time though (since it is tied to your E-Ticket they know if you already have an "outstanding" one)... am I wrong on that though?  Or is their a more expensive ticket that lets you "stock up"?

My FastPass story though is from a few years ago, and we were in front of the Toy Story 3d ride.  I think the ride said something like 60 minutes wait time, and we were standing in front of it like "Oh, is this going to be cool enough to wait, blah blah", and there was a castmember there that we ended up asking a question or two about it, and then he handed us a "FP" slip.   We were all a little confused because I didn't particularly look at the time on it and were asking "So, this gets us in later", and he was basically like "OK rubes, just shut up and get in the fast line".   So, one, apparently this is a thing that they'll pepper some people with "instant fast passes", and two, if you act earnest and like you don't know anything about the ride, you can probably get one.


They seperate them by about an 1 hour or 2, if you get there at the opening you can have about 3 working at any one time by Noon. YMMV
 
2013-05-14 02:05:08 PM  

hitmanric: meanmutton: As someone who is much more interested in the rides than the "theme" part, I find you're better off going to one of the roller coaster parks like Cedar Point.

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.

I'm bringing the family to CP at the end of July. This our first trip to a larger amusement park and this is my greatest fear. That and getting lost in Chicago somewhere.


Weekdays, weekdays are your friend.  CP has really, really impressive ride capacity.  They just have TONS of people show up.

Saturday in July = 7 rides in 12 hours.  (And this was in 2000, when Millenium Force had an 8 hour line sucking up literally half the people in the park)
Saturday in September 2000 = 25 rides in 9 hours.
Thursday in Early June 2009 = 31 rides in 8 hours.

/Or my personal favorite at Michigan's Adventure on a Tuesday: 22 rides on the same coaster in 2 hours (and 31 total in 4 hours)
//Also, if you're going to be waiting 3 hours for Millenium Force anyways, wait 45 minutes for the front row.  TOTALLY WORTH IT.  That's my first ride every time I go to Cedar Point, even on the days where I can literally walk on if I don't go front row.
 
2013-05-14 02:14:10 PM  

NuttierThanEver: Get there early in the AM and get as many as you can


Fail.
 
2013-05-14 02:16:33 PM  

meyerkev: hitmanric: meanmutton: As someone who is much more interested in the rides than the "theme" part, I find you're better off going to one of the roller coaster parks like Cedar Point.

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.

I'm bringing the family to CP at the end of July. This our first trip to a larger amusement park and this is my greatest fear. That and getting lost in Chicago somewhere.

Weekdays, weekdays are your friend.  CP has really, really impressive ride capacity.  They just have TONS of people show up.

Saturday in July = 7 rides in 12 hours.  (And this was in 2000, when Millenium Force had an 8 hour line sucking up literally half the people in the park)
Saturday in September 2000 = 25 rides in 9 hours.
Thursday in Early June 2009 = 31 rides in 8 hours.

/Or my personal favorite at Michigan's Adventure on a Tuesday: 22 rides on the same coaster in 2 hours (and 31 total in 4 hours)
//Also, if you're going to be waiting 3 hours for Millenium Force anyways, wait 45 minutes for the front row.  TOTALLY WORTH IT.  That's my first ride every time I go to Cedar Point, even on the days where I can literally walk on if I don't go front row.


Well, that is a given for anything... go when the people are not there.   Really most any normal work day works.... summer weekday will be a bit more busy, but, not as much as you'd think with the kids out of school.... a lot of the people who are there that usually wouldn't are moms with younger kids who aren't taking up space in the "action ride" lines anyway.
 
2013-05-14 02:33:09 PM  

ThatGuyGreg: NuttierThanEver: Get there early in the AM and get as many as you can

Fail.


If you don't want to get their early then don't biatch about the lines. We have kids so it's not like they would let us sleep in anyways in the hotel room. 6:30 AM the 7 year old was banging on our bedroom door yelling she wanted to go see the Princesses
 
2013-05-14 02:34:43 PM  

NuttierThanEver: ThatGuyGreg: NuttierThanEver: Get there early in the AM and get as many as you can

Fail.

If you don't want to get their early then don't biatch about the lines. We have kids so it's not like they would let us sleep in anyways in the hotel room. 6:30 AM the 7 year old was banging on our bedroom door yelling she wanted to go see the Princesses


And YOU'd go to jail for kicking the ungrateful biatch in the solar plexus.

Thanks Waltbama.
 
2013-05-14 03:06:55 PM  
StandsWithAFist:

/can't help but think some of these fakers are just begging for a karmic ass kicking

Had that very thought myself.
 
2013-05-14 03:09:55 PM  
Do they not have express passes anymore?

They did when I went and I got on every ride I wanted in minutes and even rode some twice before the day was over.
 
2013-05-14 03:12:19 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Pocket Ninja: Still not good enough. The only way I would consider going to any sort of theme park would be if it was open only for me and a few select guests, as was the case for the Griswolds. There is no other possible scenario in which the fun-to-misery ratio works out to an acceptable level.

Depends.

[img43.imageshack.us image 606x403]
Disney escort tour guide service.


Thanks! I came!

/
 
2013-05-14 03:14:03 PM  

CraicBaby: hitmanric: We purposely planned it for a tues/wed visit. Plus we get early admission passes from our hotel. It wasn't nearly as expensive as I thought it would be. Until we hit the concession stands I'm guessing.

I went to Cedar Point yesterday and did the hotel early admission thing. Went to Gatekeeper first and the only thing that made the wait long was because they didn't run it right away due to the winds. They tested with the water dummies for about 45 min before they finally let people on. Once they did, though, the wait was probably 15-20 min. Then we went to Millenium Force and the wait was probably an hour. I'm glad we went early for that one, because a couple hours later, it was closed temporarily for mechanical issues. Raptor was a 30 min wait. Magnum was 15. We skipped Maverick because the wait was almost 2 hrs. Wanted to do Top Thrill Dragster, but it was closed. Lines for the older rides seemed really short. I'm sure the line for Gatekeeper got longer as the day went on, so my advice is to hit that one first if you have early entry.

/Gatekeeper is awesome


meyerkev: hitmanric: meanmutton: As someone who is much more interested in the rides than the "theme" part, I find you're better off going to one of the roller coaster parks like Cedar Point.

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.

I'm bringing the family to CP at the end of July. This our first trip to a larger amusement park and this is my greatest fear. That and getting lost in Chicago somewhere.

Weekdays, weekdays are your friend.  CP has really, really impressive ride capacity.  They just have TONS of people show up.

Saturday in July = 7 rides in 12 hours.  (And this was in 2000, when Millenium Force had an 8 hour line sucking up literally half the people in the park)
Saturday in September 2000 = 25 rides in 9 hours.
Thursday in Early June 2009 = 31 rides in 8 hours.

/Or my personal favorite at Michigan's Adventure on a Tuesday: 22 rides on the same coaster in 2 hours (and 31 total in 4 hours)
//Also, if you're going to be waiting 3 hours for Millenium Force anyways, wait 45 minutes for the front row.  TOTALLY WORTH IT.  That's my first ride every time I go to Cedar Point, even on the days where I can literally walk on if I don't go front row.


Thanks you both. I'll be using your posts as guidelines for sure.
 
2013-05-14 03:19:30 PM  
CSB: When I was in high school I was part of a State Quiz Bowl (a.k.a. nerd herd) team that was competing at Disney World, and we got free passes to Epcot.  A group of us went to Wonders of Life and outside they had a few wheelchairs waiting to be used.  I hopped in one and one of my teammates pushed me.  The Disney employees at Wonders of Life were nice enough to escort me to a special section at the back of Wonders of Life.  As we were leaving an obese woman bumps the wheelchair hard enough to jostle me, so I pretended to fall out.  She was apoplectic and apologetic, so I stood up, thanked her for curing me, told her that she must have been an angel sent by God, and walked away.
 
2013-05-14 03:32:38 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Pocket Ninja: Still not good enough. The only way I would consider going to any sort of theme park would be if it was open only for me and a few select guests, as was the case for the Griswolds. There is no other possible scenario in which the fun-to-misery ratio works out to an acceptable level.

Depends.

[img43.imageshack.us image 606x403]
Disney escort tour guide service.


what does a star wars charity car wash have to do with Disney World?  and yes, there are videos of it on youtube, probably NSFW videos of it on youtube.  ok, definitely NSFW videos of it on youtube.
 
2013-05-14 03:35:21 PM  

JesusJuice: whistleridge: My mom is a double amputee (cancer, not the diabeetus). She really wanted to go to Disneyworld for some hellish reason. I loathe the place, but one does not tell one's 70 year old legless mother no when it comes to a request like that.

Neither of us knew anything about this policy. And I have to admit: my loathing level went from eleventy billion to only 110% after they took one look at her, gave us a guide, and gave us instant access to the front of *every* line.

Good for you, Disney, for having at least one humane policy.

/ yes, I have read the books about how much it sucks to work for them

Why does your mother's lack of legs prevent her from waiting in line like everybody else? Being crippled shouldn't entitle anyone to special privileges.


She's a goddamn hero that's why!
 
2013-05-14 03:37:12 PM  
www.brainygamer.com
 
2013-05-14 03:39:25 PM  

fozziewazzi: Went to Disney World at 11, then went to Cedar Point in Sandusky 15 years later and was reminded why I hated theme/amusement parks.  I'd really like someone here to explain how waiting 1 hour in line for a 3 minute ride is 'fun'.


As a teenager the junior beta club took a trip to Cedar Point in early May. We got there as soon as they opened and there were like no lines at all until maybe noon or so. We stayed there all day. The disappointing part of that trip was going to the Center of Science and Industry and the lines being huge and a lot of exhibits not being open. We only got to stay there a few hours.
/Cool story,sis
 
2013-05-14 03:40:18 PM  
Ok, kiddos.

The pass they are referring to is called a Guest Assistance Card (GAC).
There are different types of GACs.  There is one for people who can't hear, one for the blind, one for the physically challenged, one for the autistic/other mental disorders, etc.

To get one, you go to Guest Services and tell them you need one.  They can only ask questions to establish which pass you need (if you can't transfer from the wheelchair to the ride, for example; or if your child can't wait in line because they spaz out due to a disorder) and then you receive the pass.  The persons name is put on the GAC, and they must be getting on the ride in order to use it.

Usually, the guest is taken in through a separate entrance.  It could be the FP line or a back/side entrance.  The pass should only cover up to 6 people with the person who is using the GAC.

 A lot of time you miss the que line, true, but if you are in a wheelchair, you have to wait for the wheelchair accessible car.  Most rides have 1-2, so it can be a long wait.

yes, people abuse it.  people also buy their grandkids or nieces/nephews FL resident ticket. (Minors are not id'd when getting tickets, so FL residents buy underage kids tickets.  The only caveat is that the FL resident must be there when the tickets are issued.)   That is lying, pure and simple. People lie about the GAC too--and now these people?  I hope Disney catches wind and bans them.

/spends time on a chat board about Disney
//kills time
/// #ashamed  I love Disney.
////WDW 10 times, DL 2 times
 
2013-05-14 03:41:52 PM  
Big fat people do it all the time at Disneyland. I once saw a huge white broad pushing a stroller while holding a turkey leg in one hand and licking an icecream in the other. She was using her huge gummy bear knockers to push the stroller down Main Street. Disgusting...
 
2013-05-14 03:51:28 PM  
hitmanric:

If I was going to add anything, it's that front row is awesome.

(Keeping in mind that they've added Gatekeeper since I last went, so you may want to add Gatekeeper to the front of your list) This is the pattern I always use.

[Gatekeeper goes here?]
* Millenium Force front row = 45 minute wait, so it's kinda iffy.  I'd do it once for sure, but once is all I'd need.
* Maverick Front Row adds 10 minutes to a 2 hour line, and I've actually never ever done Maverick not front row.  (Also, I've never had a mediocre ride on Maverick.  It's either really fun or really terrible (Probably 60/40) depending on how bounced around my head gets)
* Skip Mean Streak.  It used to be a fun if bumpy (I'm fat and got wedged into the seat, so it wasn't as bumpy for me) coaster with a 10 minute line even for front row.  Ever since they added brakes to the first drop, it's just bad.
* Gemini is fairly good, and usually has a fairly short line.
* Around here are Woodstock Express (surprisingly fun for a kid coaster), and Jr. Gemini.  I have actually ridden Junior Gemini by mooching off my sister, just so I could cross off every single Cedar Point Coaster.  (It was really interesting getting the 6'0" kid into the kid coaster)
* Magnum is much better in the back row than the front.  Also, when you put the lap bar down, stand on your tiptoes.  You want the bar 1 notch higher than the ride operators want to set it, because the back half is all bunny hops that ram your legs into the bar.
* Dragster is probably worth doing once if only for the "I'm looking down at Millenium Force" realization.  I've never quite been able to justify the massive wait for front row though.
* Corkscrew is really, really bumpy.  Fun, short, no lines, and bumpy.  Do it once to say you did it.

[Head back to the front now]

* Do Raptor front row.  This makes me kind of pukey (but it's still fun), so I take a rest and eat lunch.
* Do Blue Streak for historical value only.
* Do Wicked Twister twice.  Once in the very front row, once in the very back row.  I personally find the back row scarier because you can't see the end of the track.
[Gatekeeper goes here?]

[Head back to the back now.]

Iron Dragon is kinda fun and great for the kiddies.
Mantis sucks if you're a guy, but it's worth doing just to say you did it.

Now you've ridden or ignored every single coaster.

Go do whatever your favorite rides were (I usually try to get in 2 Mavericks and 3 Millenium Forces/trip and do another loop of the back.)

About an hour before sunset, the lines will die off.  Partly because people are leaving and partly because people are about to do their night ride and they're eating dinner.

Pick a ride that goes through woods with no lights (Millenium Force used to be this).  Ride it in the dark right before closing.  I've never been able to stay late enough to do this, but I rode the Beast at night and it was awesome.
 
2013-05-14 04:09:13 PM  

NuttierThanEver: dletter: NuttierThanEver: Bullshiat, if you've got an IQ above room temperature you can figure out how to use the FastPasses
Get there early in the AM and get as many as you can, relax see a show or two, shop, eat some lunch, get an adult beverage or two at Epcot  and then spend the afternoon riding 5-6 of the main attraction rides in a row.

I thought you could one get one Fastpass at a time though (since it is tied to your E-Ticket they know if you already have an "outstanding" one)... am I wrong on that though?  Or is their a more expensive ticket that lets you "stock up"?

My FastPass story though is from a few years ago, and we were in front of the Toy Story 3d ride.  I think the ride said something like 60 minutes wait time, and we were standing in front of it like "Oh, is this going to be cool enough to wait, blah blah", and there was a castmember there that we ended up asking a question or two about it, and then he handed us a "FP" slip.   We were all a little confused because I didn't particularly look at the time on it and were asking "So, this gets us in later", and he was basically like "OK rubes, just shut up and get in the fast line".   So, one, apparently this is a thing that they'll pepper some people with "instant fast passes", and two, if you act earnest and like you don't know anything about the ride, you can probably get one.

They seperate them by about an 1 hour or 2, if you get there at the opening you can have about 3 working at any one time by Noon. YMMV


We went there with the kids two summers ago in July, and with fastpasses we never waited more than 10 -20 minutes on any given ride.  There were also several rides that never had a line at all regardless.  The Pirates of the Carribean was one of these.  They re-themed it after the movies, but most importantly, it was cool inside and never had more than a 5 minute line.  The kids loved it so much that we probably ran through it about 5 times in a row, while I enjoyed sitting on my ass in the cool darkness.
 
2013-05-14 04:23:32 PM  
This is smart. The disabled person knows how to make money out of his/her situation, while the customers get satisfaction from the service provided and enjoy the entire day. The only trouble is, now a lot of disabled people might do this business after reading the news and it would be back to 2 hour waiting lines again for the customers because there would be a long traffic of mobility scooters waiting in the front line.
 
2013-05-14 04:25:42 PM  

meyerkev: I've never been able to stay late enough to do this, but I rode the Beast at night and it was awesome.


I rode Beast on Friday night, almost in a torrential downpour, too. I was in line around closing and as I got near the front, there was a sudden downpour. Then they stopped the ride temporarily for the fireworks. It stopped raining just in time for the fireworks and it was just a light spritz by the time the ride started back up again. Still, it was pretty awesome to ride in the dark. And it was really cold, so I'm kinda glad the rain stopped.
 
2013-05-14 04:28:42 PM  

aevorea: Yes. As a former Floridian, the only time I would go to Disney was during the off-season. You're not miserable from the heat and the lines are short enough that nice ride operators will just let you stay on until you get bored or puke.


This.  Usually in September/October, they have special rates for Florida residents.  And, unless you really want to experience heatstroke, DO NOT go in August.
 
2013-05-14 04:33:09 PM  

missmez: whistleridge:

/ yes, I have read the books about how much it sucks to work for them

I worked at Disneyland as a ride operator for awhile.  Best job ever.  If my financial responsibilities permitted I would cheerfully go back.


This.
 
2013-05-14 04:40:32 PM  
FTA: "You can't go to Disney without a tour concierge,'' she sniffed. "This is how the 1 percent does Disney."

Wait, people actually refer to themselves as "The One Percent"?  And "she sniffed"?  Surly this is comedy.  People don't really act like cartoonish villains, do they?
 
2013-05-14 04:48:40 PM  

Derek Force: And to kick up the outrage a little, you dont need a wheelchair to get to the front of the line, those fat people scooters work too. They are EVERYWHERE. More prevalant then wheelchairs.


How do they fit on rides if they are too heavy to walk?
 
2013-05-14 04:56:56 PM  

CraicBaby: meyerkev: I've never been able to stay late enough to do this, but I rode the Beast at night and it was awesome.

I rode Beast on Friday night, almost in a torrential downpour, too. I was in line around closing and as I got near the front, there was a sudden downpour. Then they stopped the ride temporarily for the fireworks. It stopped raining just in time for the fireworks and it was just a light spritz by the time the ride started back up again. Still, it was pretty awesome to ride in the dark. And it was really cold, so I'm kinda glad the rain stopped.


<csb; if you've ridden The Beast you'll understand>

The *first* time I rode The Beast as a kid was at night, after two of the girls in our 4-H group took all day to convince me - I had never ridden a coaster before (I guess I was 10 or 11 or so). The sad thing is, they rode together (the two girls) and left me to ride single, and the only single seat was in the very *front* seat. So as the back of the train was still connected to the pull chain, the front (with me in it) was hanging over the edge of that first hill, slowly inching along, waiting to cut loose, and I look down and notice that there is NO TRACK at the bottom of the hill. Not 'It's dark, and I can't see the track' - because I *could* see it, and exactly where it ended. About the time my brain was trying to make sense of this, the back of the train finally cleared the pull chain and away we went, with me screaming bloody murder all the way down...

I've never been so happily relieved to be in a tunnel in all my life, and from then on I was a coaster fan, especially The Beast.

</csb>
 
2013-05-14 05:07:58 PM  
I've done that. My girlfriend is severely ill and we can't even do long trips anymore (it's to the point she's suggested that if I want to have an affair, all she asks is that I don't lie about it), but before her health went completely to crap we went to Marine World. She threw up after a roller coaster right with her dad and it was only funny because everyone thought it was blood and I had to explain she drank a cherry slurpee. Blood vomit looks completely different.

/Sadly knows what it takes to clean that up. Three towels at least, and half a bottle of completely improvised soap mixed with vinegar and hope.
//I said no on the affair thing. Yes, I am that awesome. Ladies.
 
2013-05-14 05:13:47 PM  

TheManofPA: Honestly with all of the people in wheelchairs down there now due to size issues, the wheelchair lines don't save you that much time


I was amazed at the number of people at Disneyworld who were in scooters and wheelchairs.  There were a lot of people who were mobility impaired.  On the one hand, it is nice that they get to take the same rides as everyone else.  On the other hand, several rides were stopping every 2-5 minutes in order to let somebody impaired on or off.  Spent more time idling in the haunted mansion than we did moving.


/went during the shoulder season
//the Fast Pass system made it to where we weren't in lines longer than 15 minutes all that often
 
2013-05-14 05:20:24 PM  

whistleridge: missmez: whistleridge: My mom is a double amputee (cancer, not the diabeetus). She really wanted to go to Disneyworld for some hellish reason. I loathe the place, but one does not tell one's 70 year old legless mother no when it comes to a request like that.

Neither of us knew anything about this policy. And I have to admit: my loathing level went from eleventy billion to only 110% after they took one look at her, gave us a guide, and gave us instant access to the front of *every* line.

Good for you, Disney, for having at least one humane policy.

/ yes, I have read the books about how much it sucks to work for them

I worked at Disneyland as a ride operator for awhile.  Best job ever.  If my financial responsibilities permitted I would cheerfully go back.

So...if you have a choice between 'fun' and 'pays a living wage', you opt for 'pays a living wage'? Got it.


They pay pretty well ($2 an hour above the minimum wage at the time I believe); I was a student and didn't need much.  I need to make more now because I spend more now.  You can live on what they pay but you won't be buying a house in SoCal on it.
 
2013-05-14 05:25:39 PM  

Magorn: ThatGuyGreg: Meh, that's less & less of a case as time goes by; any queue space that's been built/refurbished in the last few years at least has been wheelchair accessible.

And boy howdy is it fun to watch a cast member tell people that their wheelchair can go right ahead into the line, no special treatment for them.

/rich folks can hire VIP tour hosts anyway

WHy should disabled people be able to jump the line anyway? seems to me that a person sitting in a wheelchar already has it better than the folks standing in the line.   Still the fact that these tour guides exist, and the fact that Disney will bascially sell you the same thing for 400 HUNDRED DOLLARS AN HOUR is sickening to me and a reson 've nevr taken my kid to Disney.  Rather than fix the problem of overcrowded rides by either building more attractions or selling less enterance tickets everyday, Disney basically decides to profit it off it, and give kids a lesson at an early ages  in why the "haves" are better than them


It takes longer to get a disabled person out of a wheelchair and into the attraction seat if you're not prepared for them.  The operator might need another employee to help.  Its really not a perk for the handicapped person so much as a way for the park employee to control their getting on and off the ride as quickly and safely as possible.  Which makes the line go faster.  Happy?
 
2013-05-14 05:27:15 PM  
So weekday visit in September or October is the best plan? Any other times of the year when the crowds aren't crazy?
 
2013-05-14 06:00:42 PM  

mjohnson71: So weekday visit in September or October is the best plan? Any other times of the year when the crowds aren't crazy?


I've heard January and February are good as well, beware March, because of Spring Break.
 
2013-05-14 06:34:18 PM  

ThatGuyGreg: /rich folks can hire VIP tour hosts anyway


Apparently she didn't want to. I guess when you're a 1%er, it's not about getting a jump on everybody else as much as just farking them over for fun.
 
2013-05-14 06:35:09 PM  

RyansPrivates: mjohnson71: So weekday visit in September or October is the best plan? Any other times of the year when the crowds aren't crazy?

I've heard January and February are good as well, beware March, because of Spring Break.


Here's what the "crowds" looked like at Disneyland 11am yesterday - it was awesome:
fbcdn-sphotos-f-a.akamaihd.net
/that was about as crowded at the park got.
 
2013-05-14 07:15:00 PM  

NuttierThanEver: ThatGuyGreg: NuttierThanEver: Get there early in the AM and get as many as you can

Fail.

If you don't want to get their early then don't biatch about the lines. We have kids so it's not like they would let us sleep in anyways in the hotel room. 6:30 AM the 7 year old was banging on our bedroom door yelling she wanted to go see the Princesses


No, fail for letting people think they don't have to wait two hours between fastpass pickups. I've got young kids, so FPs for the big wait rides aren't worth it for us, but loosely following a touring plan saves a ton of time.

/rope drop or bust
 
2013-05-14 09:12:06 PM  
Yet another example of reward-the-fail.

Just what made America great...making capable people second-class citizens.
 
2013-05-14 09:29:47 PM  

a61sun: toby8915: They changed the way they did this years ago. You use to be able to go around the lines. But what they do now is the person in the wheel chair waits at the front while the able people walk through the line. Also...when has anyone waited 1 1/2 hours for It's a Small World?

So what you're saying is this entire article is BS and the Post is just yanking our chains? Yet you are the only one posting this?

/curious


I am! The Small World wait line is how I knew the story was bullshiat.

/annual passholder in California
//Has a cane due to bad knees and back
///Only works on a couple rides in California Adventure
 
2013-05-14 09:46:25 PM  
Disney is the American Mecca, with less stampeding.
 
2013-05-14 09:52:30 PM  
The tour guides seem to be developmentally disabled, for the most part.  Quite a few not in wheelchairs.

http://www.dreamtoursflorida.com/photo-gallery/
 
2013-05-14 09:55:54 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: The tour guides seem to be developmentally disabled, for the most part.  Quite a few not in wheelchairs.

http://www.dreamtoursflorida.com/photo-gallery/


Doesn't seem to be an issue. From testimonials section:

"My family's experience with you and Dream Tours Florida was fantastic! "Your ability to get us to the head of the line really maximized the time we were able to enjoy all facets of the park and made the fly along. You were constantly upbeat and I feel that I made a fast friend. Simply put, my family and I want to thank you for a memorable day."
 
HKW
2013-05-14 10:28:48 PM  

TheManofPA: Please we did it the old fashion 99 percenter way by having my dad break his leg in multiple places....but then he refused to use the wheelchair in line and would crutch it for the regular lines.  No Swiss Family Robinson treehouse though

Honestly with all of the people in wheelchairs down there now due to size issues, the wheelchair lines don't save you that much time (because a 10-12 deep line has to wait for the specific cars which can take a bit).  It used to be a short line but over the years it has been getting just as backed up and the lines are pretty fair.  Occasionally the regular line is shorter. Most people tend not to care if people go in the other line for whatever reason (i.e. why care if someone is moving to the front of the line) especially with some of the new games for kids in the main line.


What we need then is a special wheelchair line for the wheelchair line..  You know, to seperate the 'able-bodied' handicapped from the non-able-bodied handicapped..

Cuz, a person driving a car at 90mph, drunk, and smashing into a tree causing him to lose both legs  obviously deserves a cut in line ahead of everyone else.
 
2013-05-14 10:30:57 PM  

RyansPrivates: mjohnson71: So weekday visit in September or October is the best plan? Any other times of the year when the crowds aren't crazy?

I've heard January and February are good as well, beware March, because of Spring Break.


We've gone in early to mid May and the first week of June before (right before schools let out). If you use fastpass properly, you can get through things quick. Our trip mid-May, we had a longest wait of 30 minutes (again by using FP for the big rides) and that was only because they had an issue with a kid on the ride before so there was a 10 minute delay (freaked out/needed assistance)
 
2013-05-14 11:13:16 PM  

DrewCurtisJr: BarkingUnicorn: The tour guides seem to be developmentally disabled, for the most part.  Quite a few not in wheelchairs.

http://www.dreamtoursflorida.com/photo-gallery/

Doesn't seem to be an issue.


Issue?  I think it's great.  The couple who started this business used to work with the developmentally disabled in group homes. I wonder how much the tour guides earn.
 
2013-05-14 11:49:08 PM  

NuttierThanEver: Bullshiat, if you've got an IQ above room temperature you can figure out how to use the FastPasses
Get there early in the AM and get as many as you can, relax see a show or two, shop, eat some lunch, get an adult beverage or two at Epcot  and then spend the afternoon riding 5-6 of the main attraction rides in a row.


Apparently, you have not figured out how to use Fast Passes. You simply cannot get there early in the AM and get as many as you can, as you put it. Once you get a fast pass for a ride, you have to wait at least an hour before you can get Fast Pass for another ride. Further, you can no longer arrive anytime after the time listed on the Fast Pass, you must return during that hour or it's no longer valid. That new policy totally sucks.
 
2013-05-15 02:55:28 AM  

Magorn: Not seriously,  it was DEEPLY toungue-in Cheek...sorry about that . My sick sense of humor gets the best of me sometimes....the rest of the post, being pissed at Disney? a touch more sincere


Sorry, I suck at reading dark humor sometimes even though I have a very dark streak. And I fail at reading the entire thread before responding.

/One of my besties as a little girl was an 20 something woman in a wheelchair who lived down the block. She was super cool, and put up with all my silly kid questions (can you really not walk, really really!?) and so I *know* how difficult it is for them, much more than just not being able to walk. And I tend to be a bit rabid when defending friends. ;)
 
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