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(ABC)   Uncle Joe writes handwritten response to seven-year-old boy over the boy's "chocolate bullets would be safer" theory   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 98
    More: Spiffy, Uncle Joe, Biden, Wisconsin  
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10219 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2013 at 10:26 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



98 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-05-14 10:28:12 AM  
Ah, I figured if it was from Wisconsin it'd be either Milwaukee or Madison.
 
2013-05-14 10:28:19 AM  
Nice to know the schools are spending time indoctrinating children to fuss about guns when they should be learning academics.

But, if you are breeding a generation of welfare check taking voting livestock I suppose it's OK.
 
2013-05-14 10:28:32 AM  
"And if you have any older sisters, let 'em know that Uncle Joe has a few cold sixers of the silver bullet and he's looking to party."
 
2013-05-14 10:28:50 AM  
But I want to hate him so much. That was pretty cool.

/good for Joe
 
2013-05-14 10:28:57 AM  
And the teachers unions wonder why Republicans don't like them.
 
2013-05-14 10:29:07 AM  
Well that would give a new meaning to eat a bullet
 
2013-05-14 10:29:14 AM  
Almost as good as this:
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-14 10:29:43 AM  
Is this a scandal yet?
 
2013-05-14 10:31:27 AM  

Glenford: Almost as good as this:
[25.media.tumblr.com image 500x669]


You are right that was better.
 
2013-05-14 10:31:56 AM  
would not work in Biden's shotgun that he says people should have.
 
2013-05-14 10:31:58 AM  
Waiting for the tea party derp machine to tell us this is wargarble....
 
2013-05-14 10:32:14 AM  
I don't care for the Obama Admin but we shouldn't bash any politician for a personal interaction with a child.

So long as it's not that kind of interaction with a child IYKWIM.
 
2013-05-14 10:33:26 AM  
Uncle Joe writes like a 7 year old.
 
2013-05-14 10:34:32 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-14 10:35:00 AM  
The only thing that can stop a bad guy with chocolate bullets is a good guy with a peanut-butter grenade.
 
2013-05-14 10:36:35 AM  
A little boy in Cuba once wrote a letter to FDR asking him to send him a $10 American banknote because he and his friends had never seen one. Nice touch, that detail. Clearly a lad with a future ahead of him.

And the name of that little boy was Fidel Castro.

If FDR had sent Fidel Castro a $10 bill when he asked for one, Castro would have been a third baseman for the Chicago Cubs (his alma mater is the University of Chicago).
 
2013-05-14 10:37:41 AM  

Tax Boy: The only thing that can stop a bad guy with chocolate bullets is a good guy with a peanut-butter grenade.


images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-05-14 10:37:46 AM  

jafiwam: Nice to know the schools are spending time indoctrinating children to fuss about guns when they should be learning academics.

But, if you are breeding a generation of welfare check taking voting livestock I suppose it's OK.


You've got peanut butter talking points on your chocolate talking points.
 
2013-05-14 10:38:24 AM  
Damn. Too slow. Two posts got in before mine.
 
2013-05-14 10:39:32 AM  

brantgoose: jafiwam: Nice to know the schools are spending time indoctrinating children to fuss about guns when they should be learning academics.

But, if you are breeding a generation of welfare check taking voting livestock I suppose it's OK.

You've got peanut butter talking points on your chocolate talking points.


I'm disappointed.  It was a perfect opportunity to mention GOVERNMENT schools.
 
2013-05-14 10:39:43 AM  

jafiwam: Nice to know the schools are spending time indoctrinating children to fuss about guns when they should be learning academics.

But, if you are breeding a generation of welfare check taking voting livestock I suppose it's OK.


Albert911emt: Waiting for the tea party derp machine to tell us this is wargarble....


You missed it already.
 
2013-05-14 10:40:06 AM  
www.wearysloth.com
Approves of this message.
 
2013-05-14 10:40:45 AM  
I'm ok with this as long as the chocolate gets hot enough as it exits the gun to burn human flesh away.
 
2013-05-14 10:41:17 AM  
My post in the redlit thread on this:

The problem with chocolate bullets are as follows:

1. They aren't dense enough.  That translates into higher muzzle velocities but because of the poor sectional density they would lose velocity very quickly.

2. Lack of material cohesion compared to normal bullet materials:
      a. A bullet has to stay together to be effective against all but the smallest, lightest targets.
      b. A bullet without the necessary integrity will 'trip' over any rifling, making it wildly inaccurate
      c. The explosive force necessary to propel a bullet is likely to completely destroy a chocolate bullet.
      d. If the shock didn't do it, the temperature would melt the chocolate bullet.

Having said that, a chocolate bullet would make the "catching a bullet in the mouth" trick a whole lot tastier.
 
2013-05-14 10:43:03 AM  

jafiwam: Nice to know the schools are spending time indoctrinating children to fuss about guns when they should be learning academics.

But, if you are breeding a generation of welfare check taking voting livestock I suppose it's OK.



Academics!  They should be learning academics, people.  Not fussing about guns.  You hear me?  Academics!
 
2013-05-14 10:43:06 AM  
Teachers, get back to work teaching the curriculum written for you by Creationist, Anti-Science, Pro-Junk Food American Corporations and the Koch Brothers massive stable of pro-extraction, anti-environmental Ayn Randite economiic casuists and forget about indoctrinating your pupils with your commie propaganda
 
2013-05-14 10:43:43 AM  

tenpoundsofcheese: would not work in Biden's shotgun that he says people should have.


You'd probably need a Skittlegun for that.
 
2013-05-14 10:44:22 AM  

dittybopper: My post in the redlit thread on this:

The problem with chocolate bullets are as follows:

1. They aren't dense enough.  That translates into higher muzzle velocities but because of the poor sectional density they would lose velocity very quickly.

2. Lack of material cohesion compared to normal bullet materials:
      a. A bullet has to stay together to be effective against all but the smallest, lightest targets.
      b. A bullet without the necessary integrity will 'trip' over any rifling, making it wildly inaccurate
      c. The explosive force necessary to propel a bullet is likely to completely destroy a chocolate bullet.
      d. If the shock didn't do it, the temperature would melt the chocolate bullet.

Having said that, a chocolate bullet would make the "catching a bullet in the mouth" trick a whole lot tastier.


What about chocolate shotgun shells? Put a chunk of Hershey's in there, but expect it to act like bird shot. Maybe use peanut butter for the wadding.
 
2013-05-14 10:51:46 AM  

dittybopper: My post in the redlit thread on this:

The problem with chocolate bullets are as follows:

1. They aren't dense enough.  That translates into higher muzzle velocities but because of the poor sectional density they would lose velocity very quickly.

2. Lack of material cohesion compared to normal bullet materials:
      a. A bullet has to stay together to be effective against all but the smallest, lightest targets.
      b. A bullet without the necessary integrity will 'trip' over any rifling, making it wildly inaccurate
      c. The explosive force necessary to propel a bullet is likely to completely destroy a chocolate bullet.
      d. If the shock didn't do it, the temperature would melt the chocolate bullet.

Having said that, a chocolate bullet would make the "catching a bullet in the mouth" trick a whole lot tastier.


Those aren't problems.  Those are features.
 
2013-05-14 10:53:09 AM  

dittybopper: My post in the redlit thread on this:

The problem with chocolate bullets are as follows:

1. They aren't dense enough.  That translates into higher muzzle velocities but because of the poor sectional density they would lose velocity very quickly.

2. Lack of material cohesion compared to normal bullet materials:
      a. A bullet has to stay together to be effective against all but the smallest, lightest targets.
      b. A bullet without the necessary integrity will 'trip' over any rifling, making it wildly inaccurate
      c. The explosive force necessary to propel a bullet is likely to completely destroy a chocolate bullet.
      d. If the shock didn't do it, the temperature would melt the chocolate bullet.

Having said that, a chocolate bullet would make the "catching a bullet in the mouth" trick a whole lot tastier.


Thank you for that, Sheldon.
 
2013-05-14 10:53:29 AM  

Gonz: What about chocolate shotgun shells? Put a chunk of Hershey's in there, but expect it to act like bird shot. Maybe use peanut butter for the wadding.


Fine.

Now how you gonna get all that chocolate fouling out of the bore?
 
2013-05-14 10:54:22 AM  

xoxo: Thank you for that, Sheldon.


-.../.-/--../../-./--./.-
 
2013-05-14 10:55:15 AM  
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net

// why am I the first?
 
WGJ
2013-05-14 10:56:58 AM  
What else does the vice president have to do besides read his mail?

pyromosh.org
 
2013-05-14 11:00:12 AM  

dittybopper: My post in the redlit thread on this:

The problem with chocolate bullets are as follows:

1. They aren't dense enough.  That translates into higher muzzle velocities but because of the poor sectional density they would lose velocity very quickly.

2. Lack of material cohesion compared to normal bullet materials:
      a. A bullet has to stay together to be effective against all but the smallest, lightest targets.
      b. A bullet without the necessary integrity will 'trip' over any rifling, making it wildly inaccurate
      c. The explosive force necessary to propel a bullet is likely to completely destroy a chocolate bullet.
      d. If the shock didn't do it, the temperature would melt the chocolate bullet.

Having said that, a chocolate bullet would make the "catching a bullet in the mouth" trick a whole lot tastier.


The chocolate is merely the jacket. You didn't take into account the density of the nougat center.  Reloaders could also use a hard caramel center for the bullet.
 
2013-05-14 11:00:17 AM  
I was wondering about the CSI episode with the meat bullet, but Mythbusters have got it covered:
http://mythbustersresults.com/episode1

I'm going to guess that if frozen hamburger can't hold it together long enough to cause injury, then chocolate wouldn't either.
 
2013-05-14 11:01:24 AM  
Came for Uncle Joe, leaving kind of slow.

/at the Junction
 
2013-05-14 11:01:30 AM  
The Bootstrapy Resisty called.

They've cancelled your farm subsidies.

They've cancelled your fossil fuel "exploration and development" tax credits.

They've cancelled the power of corporations to collect taxes from consumers and then just keep the money.

They've cancelled your protectionist barriers to free trade and free movement of workers, resources and money..

They've cancelled your cut-price leases on the one third of the land in the USA that belongs to the Government and theoretically the American People.

They've cancelled the Patriot Acts, the dronocracy, and the TSA, like Obama should have done by executive degree on day one of his One Hundred Days.

And some guy with a hippy beard and a whip drove your lobbyists out of the taxpayer-financed paid halls of Congress saying you've made his Father's House into a Den of Thieves.

In other words, you can kiss your Red State asses good bye. The Democrats have decided not to throw buckets of money at the rich any more. They need those buckets of money to restore the dying American Middle Class.

The jig is up, self-styled conservatives. You've been caught in the Gubbermint money trough with you heels barely above the credit line.

THE TAXPAYER'S MONEY. IT IS NOT YOURS.

One, because you stopped paying your far share years ago, and two, it should go to the people who pay, not the players who play.

P.S. The Government has figured out that it is cheaper to let banks that are too big to fail, fail, and just give the money back to the depositors, small businesses, etc. so they can go to another conveniently located bank instead.

***

And then Bootstrapy McScrooge Duck woke up and it was all a horrible nightmare, except that J.R. Ewing was still dead. So he says to his wife: "Honey, wake up, you won't believe the dream I just had" and she says: it wasn't a dream, America was a dream. A dream that went bad because it was founded by a bunch of needy-greedy Whigs and crypto-Tories. It was sick unto death from the moment of conception by those who cast envious and greedy eyes on the lands guaranteed to the native peoples by Jay's Treaty. It was sick unto death from the moment Philadelphia lawyers joined with Patroons, Southern Gentry and Boston Patricians to evade paying the cost of the French and Indian Wars after trying to fob it off on the London and Provincial taxpayers in the Metropolis.

It was dead from the first twinkling of New World Gold and Silver in the eyes of Cortèz.
 
2013-05-14 11:02:00 AM  
Come to think of it, a Chocolate Lobby might be the only thing powerful enough to take down the NRA.
 
2013-05-14 11:04:25 AM  
The proposal is absurd and without merit. That the Vice President would reply to it demonstrates an abdication of his responsibilities. Suggesting that ammunition be manufactured from chocolate contributes nothing meaningful to any discussion when the suggestion includes no specific explanation of whether milk chocolate, white chocolate or dark chocolate will be used.
 
2013-05-14 11:05:02 AM  
Nobody would get hurt except the guy trying to defend himself against a peanut brittle sword.
 
2013-05-14 11:06:04 AM  
Chocolate bullets are for chicks and kids. Men want bacon bazookas and barbeque WMDs.
 
2013-05-14 11:06:32 AM  

jafiwam: Nice to know the schools are spending time indoctrinating children to fuss about guns when they should be learning academics.

But, if you are breeding a generation of welfare check taking voting livestock I suppose it's OK.


Depends:  If the class assignment was "Let's write a letter to the Whitehouse about something that concerns us", and the kid picked guns then meh.  If the assignment was "Guns are bad, let's write the President a letter telling him how to fix the problem." then, yeah, I agree with your sentiment.
 
2013-05-14 11:07:32 AM  
This is a "Chocolate City" reference, isn't it?
 
2013-05-14 11:08:09 AM  
There is no reason at all for civilians to have access to 70% or higher cocoa content rounds. These are "crown-killers", plain and simple, and need to be banned.
 
2013-05-14 11:09:00 AM  

ruta: I was wondering about the CSI episode with the meat bullet, but Mythbusters have got it covered:
http://mythbustersresults.com/episode1

I'm going to guess that if frozen hamburger can't hold it together long enough to cause injury, then chocolate wouldn't either.


They should try using Montreal steak seasoning in the hamburger, and they should fire it at my open mouth.

Also, mix in some hickory sawdust with the gunpowder.
 
2013-05-14 11:10:47 AM  
i16.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-14 11:11:16 AM  

brantgoose: The Bootstrapy Resisty called.

They've cancelled your farm subsidies.

They've cancelled your fossil fuel "exploration and development" tax credits.

They've cancelled the power of corporations to collect taxes from consumers and then just keep the money.

They've cancelled your protectionist barriers to free trade and free movement of workers, resources and money..

They've cancelled your cut-price leases on the one third of the land in the USA that belongs to the Government and theoretically the American People.

They've cancelled the Patriot Acts, the dronocracy, and the TSA, like Obama should have done by executive degree on day one of his One Hundred Days.

And some guy with a hippy beard and a whip drove your lobbyists out of the taxpayer-financed paid halls of Congress saying you've made his Father's House into a Den of Thieves.

In other words, you can kiss your Red State asses good bye. The Democrats have decided not to throw buckets of money at the rich any more. They need those buckets of money to restore the dying American Middle Class.

The jig is up, self-styled conservatives. You've been caught in the Gubbermint money trough with you heels barely above the credit line.

THE TAXPAYER'S MONEY. IT IS NOT YOURS.

One, because you stopped paying your far share years ago, and two, it should go to the people who pay, not the players who play.

P.S. The Government has figured out that it is cheaper to let banks that are too big to fail, fail, and just give the money back to the depositors, small businesses, etc. so they can go to another conveniently located bank instead.

***

And then Bootstrapy McScrooge Duck woke up and it was all a horrible nightmare, except that J.R. Ewing was still dead. So he says to his wife: "Honey, wake up, you won't believe the dream I just had" and she says: it wasn't a dream, America was a dream. A dream that went bad because it was founded by a bunch of needy-greedy Whigs and crypto-Tories. It was sick unto death from the mome ...


I weap because it's just a dream.
 
2013-05-14 11:11:43 AM  
May need to get the Mythbusters in on this...

What type of Chocolate? Not to sound racist, but is Dark Chocolate more deadly than Milk Chocolate?
 
2013-05-14 11:14:11 AM  
boy?  BOY!?

BOY!?!?
 
2013-05-14 11:15:13 AM  
Good job wasting time on frivolous matter.
 
2013-05-14 11:16:24 AM  
Eech! Typos. They spoil a perfectly good summary, aka rant.

Oh, well. While your conservatves were picking gnats of social welfare, education, and health care out of your wine, you've been swallowed by a Greate Fishe.
 
2013-05-14 11:16:53 AM  

mudpants: Uncle Joe writes like a 7 year old.


...a seven year old who writes in cursive.

Great letter, Joe. Too bad kids can't read cursive these days...

"scribble doodle doodle scribble scribble.
Doodle scribble doodle scrawl."

-- Joe Biden
 
2013-05-14 11:23:34 AM  

graeth: Good job wasting time on frivolous matter.


See that's just it:  For them it's not a waste of time.  It's part of an integrated strategy to advance more gun control.  They themselves admit that they aren't going to stop just because their first attempt failed.
 
2013-05-14 11:27:20 AM  

jafiwam: Nice to know the schools are spending time indoctrinating children to fuss about guns when they should be learning academics.

But, if you are breeding a generation of welfare check taking voting livestock I suppose it's OK.


Bada Bing
 
2013-05-14 11:29:59 AM  
if you shoot someone with a chocolate bullet, do they bleed nougat or caramel?
 
2013-05-14 11:30:27 AM  
"I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver. And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him and hand it to him." -- Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey
 
2013-05-14 11:31:50 AM  

Candygram4Mongo: Great letter, Joe. Too bad kids can't read cursive these days...


Most kids know hell, damn, and shiat by the time they are 7, wait what?
 
2013-05-14 11:33:53 AM  
In i3.bebo.com  Russia you kill chocolate bullets and bourgeois
 
2013-05-14 11:43:51 AM  
For everyone that is concerned that a chocolate bullet would melt...  Maybe...  But lead bullets melt too.
 
2013-05-14 11:45:57 AM  
http://youtu.be/JYtlvzQ7GV8?t=2m">http://youtu.be/JYtlvzQ7GV8?t=2m

what do you think is is kid? TV Kiddy Hour where we all sit around and lick barney the dinosaurs farking pussy?!?!
This is real life with consequences you take to your grave!

chocolate bullets will mean you will get shot after you ruin your weapon with your first attempt to shoot.
 
2013-05-14 11:47:46 AM  

Waiting for the tea party derp machine to tell us this is wargarble....
I don't care for the Obama Admin but we shouldn't bash any politician for a personal interaction with a child.


Maybe if idiot joe spent less time plagiarizing and more time trying to get his boss to enforce the current gun laws....

Yes he's derp, yes his hypocritical reply deserves bashing.

http://www.humanevents.com/2013/01/18/biden-we-cant-enforce-the-old- la ws-so-we-need-more/
 
2013-05-14 11:53:09 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

If I were Uncle Joe I'd never leave the water tower
 
2013-05-14 11:53:25 AM  

dittybopper: Gonz: What about chocolate shotgun shells? Put a chunk of Hershey's in there, but expect it to act like bird shot. Maybe use peanut butter for the wadding.

Fine.

Now how you gonna get all that chocolate fouling out of the bore?


Marshmallow on a string.
 
2013-05-14 11:54:41 AM  
Deep frozen chocolate bullets would kill.
 
2013-05-14 11:54:46 AM  

dittybopper: Gonz: What about chocolate shotgun shells? Put a chunk of Hershey's in there, but expect it to act like bird shot. Maybe use peanut butter for the wadding.

Fine.

Now how you gonna get all that chocolate fouling out of the bore?


A straw?
 
2013-05-14 11:59:27 AM  

Gonz: dittybopper: Gonz: What about chocolate shotgun shells? Put a chunk of Hershey's in there, but expect it to act like bird shot. Maybe use peanut butter for the wadding.

Fine.

Now how you gonna get all that chocolate fouling out of the bore?

Marshmallow on a string.


Not a string you need a graham cracker cleaning rod.
 
2013-05-14 12:02:54 PM  
i566.photobucket.com
"Chocolate bullets? Tell me more."
 
2013-05-14 12:06:27 PM  
www.fanpop.com
Ammo sale going on now! Hurry, supplies won't last!
 
2013-05-14 12:10:11 PM  
Chocolate bullets? Sounds like the Kiss of death.
 
2013-05-14 12:15:31 PM  

durbnpoisn: For everyone that is concerned that a chocolate bullet would melt...  Maybe...  But lead bullets melt too.


True, but they don't generally melt when you fire them.
 
2013-05-14 12:26:01 PM  
i42.tinypic.com
 
2013-05-14 12:27:41 PM  

Molavian: Ah, I figured if it was from Wisconsin it'd be either Milwaukee or Madison.


What no cheese bullets?

\My daddy lost his leg in the war
\\155mm Harzer round took it clean off.
 
2013-05-14 12:30:40 PM  
aggroswag.files.wordpress.com

Go on.
 
2013-05-14 12:32:29 PM  

brantgoose: jafiwam: Nice to know the schools are spending time indoctrinating children to fuss about guns when they should be learning academics.

But, if you are breeding a generation of welfare check taking voting livestock I suppose it's OK.

You've got peanut butter talking points on your chocolate talking points.


This is one of those situations where I can't tell if this is sarcastic or not. (Not your post, but the original.)
 
2013-05-14 12:45:24 PM  
When chocolate bullets are outlawed, only outlaws will have chocolate bullets.

Now PORT bullets for Muslim terrorists....that makes some sense there.

Chocolate BACON bullets, covers all bases.

But really, why do normal citizens NEED chocolate bullets?  Only the military should have chocolate bullets.
 
2013-05-14 12:45:59 PM  
Umm...PORK bullets.  Meant pork bullets.
 
2013-05-14 12:57:42 PM  

BAMFinator: But I want to hate him so much. That was pretty cool.

/good for Joe


This.
 
2013-05-14 01:03:19 PM  

computerguyUT: Umm...PORK bullets.  Meant pork bullets.


I would take a port bullet.
 
2013-05-14 01:10:38 PM  

computerguyUT: Umm...PORK bullets.  Meant pork bullets.


A port bullet and a maduro cigar sounds like a good time.
 
2013-05-14 01:22:58 PM  

megarian: computerguyUT: Umm...PORK bullets.  Meant pork bullets.

I would take a port bullet.


[cue 70's porn music]
 
2013-05-14 02:04:53 PM  
Just don't shape your candy bar into a gun.  That's a suspendin'.
 
2013-05-14 02:14:58 PM  

Tom_Slick


Gonz: dittybopper: Gonz: What about chocolate shotgun shells? Put a chunk of Hershey's in there, but expect it to act like bird shot. Maybe use peanut butter for the wadding.

Fine.

Now how you gonna get all that chocolate fouling out of the bore?

Marshmallow on a string.

Not a string you need a graham cracker cleaning rod.


Pfft, n00b. You need a pretzel cleaning rod.
 
2013-05-14 02:24:47 PM  

jafiwam: Nice to know the schools are spending time indoctrinating children to fuss about guns when they should be learning academics.

But, if you are breeding a generation of welfare check taking voting livestock I suppose it's OK.


The city of Chicago alone lost 440 school aged children to gun violence in 2012... you don't need indoctrination for kids to miss their dead friends, and you don't need to be a jackass about it to make those kids hate the culture that perpetuates the violence.
 
2013-05-14 02:30:40 PM  
JHC, kids are stupid today. Don't they teach basic chemistry in class anymore?
 
2013-05-14 02:42:32 PM  
Uncle Joe was ahead of his time, he lived in Hooterville.
nowweknowem.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-14 02:44:14 PM  

firefly212: jafiwam: Nice to know the schools are spending time indoctrinating children to fuss about guns when they should be learning academics.

But, if you are breeding a generation of welfare check taking voting livestock I suppose it's OK.

The city of Chicago alone lost 440 school aged children to gun violence in 2012... you don't need indoctrination for kids to miss their dead friends, and you don't need to be a jackass about it to make those kids hate the culture that perpetuates the violence.


Do you really think facts can get through derp that thick? Hell, it's denser than pure neutronium.
 
2013-05-14 02:57:59 PM  
Whatever happened with give joe the bird anyway?
 
2013-05-14 03:09:13 PM  
Well I'd be satisfied with a custard gun.  I'm surprised the technology hasn't evolved to accept chocolate rounds yet.

static.guim.co.uk
 
2013-05-14 03:11:36 PM  

Tax Boy: The only thing that can stop a bad guy with chocolate bullets is a good guy with a peanut-butter grenade.


When wars are fought with food, WMDs will surely be peanut-based. Can you just imagine the escalation in allergen bomb technology?

Global treaties involving legume disarmament would eventually follow.
 
2013-05-14 03:28:27 PM  

Canton: Tax Boy: The only thing that can stop a bad guy with chocolate bullets is a good guy with a peanut-butter grenade.

When wars are fought with food, WMDs will surely be peanut-based. Can you just imagine the escalation in allergen bomb technology?

Global treaties involving legume disarmament would eventually follow.


oi42.tinypic.com
 
2013-05-14 04:26:54 PM  
The kid's plan is to kill everyone with obesity. Can you imagine what would happen if terrorists got shot in the mouth with chocolate all the time? We'd have lots of easy targets! There's no point going to war if you're wider than anything in the field to hide behind.
 
2013-05-14 04:33:05 PM  

Fool0ndahill: Well I'd be satisfied with a custard gun.  I'm surprised the technology hasn't evolved to accept chocolate rounds yet.

[static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]



cdn.head-fi.org
 
2013-05-14 04:35:05 PM  

brantgoose: The Bootstrapy Resisty called.

They've cancelled your farm subsidies.

They've cancelled your fossil fuel "exploration and development" tax credits.

They've cancelled the power of corporations to collect taxes from consumers and then just keep the money.

They've cancelled your protectionist barriers to free trade and free movement of workers, resources and money..

They've cancelled your cut-price leases on the one third of the land in the USA that belongs to the Government and theoretically the American People.

They've cancelled the Patriot Acts, the dronocracy, and the TSA, like Obama should have done by executive degree on day one of his One Hundred Days.

And some guy with a hippy beard and a whip drove your lobbyists out of the taxpayer-financed paid halls of Congress saying you've made his Father's House into a Den of Thieves.

In other words, you can kiss your Red State asses good bye. The Democrats have decided not to throw buckets of money at the rich any more. They need those buckets of money to restore the dying American Middle Class.

The jig is up, self-styled conservatives. You've been caught in the Gubbermint money trough with you heels barely above the credit line.

THE TAXPAYER'S MONEY. IT IS NOT YOURS.

One, because you stopped paying your far share years ago, and two, it should go to the people who pay, not the players who play.

P.S. The Government has figured out that it is cheaper to let banks that are too big to fail, fail, and just give the money back to the depositors, small businesses, etc. so they can go to another conveniently located bank instead.

***

And then Bootstrapy McScrooge Duck woke up and it was all a horrible nightmare, except that J.R. Ewing was still dead. So he says to his wife: "Honey, wake up, you won't believe the dream I just had" and she says: it wasn't a dream, America was a dream. A dream that went bad because it was founded by a bunch of needy-greedy Whigs and crypto-Tories. It was sick unto death from the mome ...



ALSO:  cdn.head-fi.org
 
2013-05-14 07:05:36 PM  
sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net

HELLO JOE
 
2013-05-14 07:20:28 PM  
Why didn't I think of that?  I'm sure those will stop the crowbar weilding intruder, and nobody will get hurt.  Except me and my wife and son, of course.
 
2013-05-14 11:14:04 PM  

HAMMERTOE: This is a "Chocolate City" reference, isn't it?


I was hoping for a The Chocolate War reference somewhere on the first page of comments, but I'm going to be disappointed.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to almost but not quite disassemble every piece of furniture in my teacher's classroom.
 
2013-05-15 08:02:49 AM  

6655321: Uncle Joe was ahead of his time, he lived in Hooterville.
[nowweknowem.files.wordpress.com image 300x236]


I thought Uncle Joe was from Tblisi.
 
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