If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Star)   I feel like most people wouldn't have to be told NOT to have sex with a hornets nest   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 98
    More: Weird  
•       •       •

10260 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2013 at 7:58 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



98 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-05-14 08:00:13 AM  
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
Just no.
 
2013-05-14 08:01:47 AM  
www.freemontsoffice.com
 
2013-05-14 08:02:44 AM  
I hear the nest has a way of shutting the whole thing down.
 
2013-05-14 08:03:47 AM  
Han var så uppsvälld så att en granne trodde att det var ett valkadaver som låg på gräsmattan. He was so bloated that a neighbor thought it was a whale carcasses lying on the lawn.  *rimshot*
 
2013-05-14 08:04:57 AM  
Can you blame him? Haven't you seen the way those hornets pulsate their abdomens, the scandalous way they lick their thoraxes clean, and the sexy, sultry pheromones they emit?
 
2013-05-14 08:05:00 AM  
But then again some folk'll...

www.midwesttvguy.com
 
2013-05-14 08:06:02 AM  
I learn so much on Fark.  that was on my To Do list today.

Thanks, Fark!
 
2013-05-14 08:06:04 AM  
It hid the whole package on him, yes it hung over and, despite the scrotum was enlarged. Right now it feels heavy and unreal.

I love the phrasing! LOL!
 
2013-05-14 08:06:13 AM  
dafuq?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-05-14 08:06:44 AM  
When I see a girl with a wasp waist I can't help myself.
 
2013-05-14 08:06:49 AM  

MrHappyRotter: Can you blame him? Haven't you seen the way those hornets pulsate their abdomens, the scandalous way they lick their thoraxes clean, and the sexy, sultry pheromones they emit?


Oh great.  Here comes the Blame the Victim crowd.
 
2013-05-14 08:07:41 AM  
Great, now you tell me!
 
2013-05-14 08:08:18 AM  
Classic example of a self correcting problem...
 
2013-05-14 08:08:29 AM  
"Buzz, buzz, buzz, knocking on heaven's durr."

Epic.
 
2013-05-14 08:10:04 AM  
The latest from smilin' bob on penis enhancement.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-05-14 08:10:07 AM  
Nø sexing der waspen.
 
2013-05-14 08:10:38 AM  

special20: "Buzz, buzz, buzz, knocking on heaven's durr."

Epic.


Kaj Liljenroth  = Genius.
 
2013-05-14 08:10:49 AM  
farm5.staticflickr.com

/did he?
 
2013-05-14 08:11:50 AM  
He should have just buzzed off...

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-14 08:13:36 AM  

squibbits: It hid the whole package on him, yes it hung over and, despite the scrotum was enlarged. Right now it feels heavy and unreal.

I love the phrasing! LOL!


Smoking GNU: dafuq?


I assume that's a Google auto-translate thing.  Swedish-English is probably low on their priority list.
 
2013-05-14 08:14:05 AM  
mojoimage.com


"Quick, Kato! The rape whistle!"
 
2013-05-14 08:14:08 AM  
In the throes of passion pain and pleasure singles get confused.  A little swap on the backside or fifty four wasp stings might add a little to the excitement.

/the reverse is also true or so my wife tells me
//
 
2013-05-14 08:14:14 AM  
Ow, my balls.
 
2013-05-14 08:14:19 AM  
I have a friend who would probably be into that
 
2013-05-14 08:14:35 AM  
shiat like this is proof that the end times are here.
 
2013-05-14 08:16:13 AM  
So a honeypot stings another victim?
 
2013-05-14 08:16:53 AM  
Google Translator has made this into all-time comedy gold! I can't stop reading this over and over and laughing my ass off!
 
2013-05-14 08:17:15 AM  
Do I make you hornet, baby?
 
2013-05-14 08:17:36 AM  
I wonder when they examine his head will they find a tumor.
 
2013-05-14 08:17:54 AM  
I can't understand this.  I'm going to have to assume there is more to the story.
 
2013-05-14 08:18:29 AM  
This pleases the queen...
 
2013-05-14 08:19:21 AM  

the_rhino



I hear the nest has a way of shutting the whole thing down.


Only if it's legitimate. But the nest could have been asking for it. All up in the tree with it's mud and sticks and leaves looking sexy and alluring. You could probably look right up in to it's hole. Man is just a tool of God, you know. He doesn't have the strength to resist something like that. And the stings? He probably said to himself "I can take 150 stings. When I get there, I'll pull out, go to church and read some scriptures. But four extra hornets got to him. Sad.

Stupid slutty hornet's nest taking another man of god.
 
2013-05-14 08:22:17 AM  
A hole is a hole.
 
2013-05-14 08:23:40 AM  

FrancoFile: squibbits: It hid the whole package on him, yes it hung over and, despite the scrotum was enlarged. Right now it feels heavy and unreal.

I love the phrasing! LOL!

Smoking GNU: dafuq?

I assume that's a Google auto-translate thing.  Swedish-English is probably low on their priority list.


I meant the situation.

How much alcohol and drugs do you have to ingest/mainline/smoke/take rectally for this to SEEM LIKE A GOOD IDEA?
 
2013-05-14 08:25:58 AM  
Probably for the best. Any offspring would have torn our puny civilization apart.
 
2013-05-14 08:26:48 AM  
web.mit.edu
 
2013-05-14 08:27:59 AM  

Sybarite: Do I make you hornet, baby?


This made me laugh far more than it should have. +2.
 
2013-05-14 08:29:28 AM  
Was he a black guy? Maybe he was trying to Africanize them...
 
2013-05-14 08:29:50 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-14 08:29:57 AM  
"To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea"

"Att försöka ha samlag med ett getingbo är en mycket dålig idé"
 
2013-05-14 08:30:31 AM  
fta:  "To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea"

And THERE's your take-away, folks.
 
2013-05-14 08:31:52 AM  
Keep farkin' that beehive!
 
2013-05-14 08:34:02 AM  

neversubmit: I wonder when they examine his head will they find a tumor.


Eht's naht a tumah.
 
2013-05-14 08:34:14 AM  

ZAZ: When I see a girl with a wasp waist I can't help myself.


When a girl walks in with a little wasp waist and a thorax in your face you get stung.
 
2013-05-14 08:34:53 AM  
s24.postimg.org

Askin' for it.
 
2013-05-14 08:35:12 AM  
uhhhhh........Beavis?
 
2013-05-14 08:35:17 AM  
Obligatory:
 
2013-05-14 08:35:37 AM  

the_rhino: I hear the nest has a way of shutting the whole thing down.


Thanks for that.

\+1
 
2013-05-14 08:36:51 AM  
Damn it Fark, with your file size limits...
 
2013-05-14 08:37:24 AM  
They found semen. He farked the nest enough to ejaculate, or at least pre-ejaculate. I cannot fathom how that felt good enough to ejaculate. I'm still giggling though, he farked himself to death with hornets.
 
2013-05-14 08:37:40 AM  

Brick-House: Ow, my balls.


I can't if took this long for that to get posted.
 
2013-05-14 08:38:21 AM  
Grrr...
lh5.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-05-14 08:38:21 AM  
believe
 
2013-05-14 08:42:43 AM  
If you say so, Subby...

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-14 08:47:08 AM  
Rapiarist?
 
2013-05-14 08:47:54 AM  
The only thing weirder than this story is the comments below it.

On the other hand,
cl.jroo.me
 
2013-05-14 08:48:52 AM  
People do realize this site is the Swedish equivalent of "The Onion" right?
 
2013-05-14 08:51:01 AM  
Dumb ways to die:    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJNR2EpS0jw

"Disturb a nest of wasps for no good reason...."
 
2013-05-14 08:51:45 AM  

inthe80s: People do realize this site is the Swedish equivalent of "The Onion" right?


Please ... someone confirm this to be true. The thought that someone might, in fact, attempt to have sex with a hornets nest just really... it has to be a joke. Please?
 
2013-05-14 09:00:41 AM  

neversubmit: I wonder when they examine his head will they find a tumor.


Heh.

/iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg
 
2013-05-14 09:01:04 AM  
Its not our fault you're too small minded to dream, subby.
 
2013-05-14 09:02:25 AM  
This is why they called him "needle dick the bug farker".
 
2013-05-14 09:02:50 AM  
Darwin.
 
2013-05-14 09:08:39 AM  
Mynd you, wøsp stings Kan be pretti nasti...
 
2013-05-14 09:13:01 AM  
Those Swedes!  I didn't realize this was a euphemism

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-05-14 09:15:49 AM  

unchellmatt: inthe80s: People do realize this site is the Swedish equivalent of "The Onion" right?

Please ... someone confirm this to be true. The thought that someone might, in fact, attempt to have sex with a hornets nest just really... it has to be a joke. Please?


Reading the other articles on the site, it would appear to be true.
 
2013-05-14 09:18:57 AM  
This is some weird swedish satire, right? Or is Sweden the Florida of northern Europe?
 
2013-05-14 09:26:09 AM  
wonder if this hotlink will work

t.qkme.me
 
2013-05-14 09:26:55 AM  
You know, it's guys like that who ruin insect sex for the rest of us.
 
2013-05-14 09:34:08 AM  
So, Meow said the Dog is writing for News Sweden now?
 
2013-05-14 09:49:09 AM  
i106.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-14 09:49:53 AM  
This is absurd.  Everyone knows hornets are high maintenance.
 
2013-05-14 09:51:41 AM  
Something just doesn't add up here. I can't pass judgment until I have all the facts.
 
2013-05-14 09:53:30 AM  

big pig peaches: This is some weird swedish satire, right? Or is Sweden the Florida of northern Europe?


this.
 
2013-05-14 10:08:18 AM  
I am really skeptical of this entire article. The neighbor thought the body was a whale? That he ejaculated? The entire premise that he would actually try to have sex with a hornets nest?
Leaving that aside, I think the poem lost something in the translation.
 
2013-05-14 10:11:58 AM  
Is this the guy?

i42.tinypic.com
 
2013-05-14 10:13:05 AM  

gglibertine: Something just doesn't add up here. I can't pass judgment until I have all the facts.


Perhaps this was the most creative, farked up suicide in the history of ever?
 
2013-05-14 10:45:45 AM  

Rocket To Russia: So, Meow said the Dog is writing for News Sweden now?


Came in for this. Going out now.
 
2013-05-14 10:45:47 AM  
i1136.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-14 10:54:43 AM  
If you click around to the other articles its obvious that this isn't a serious news site.  One article i skimmed seemed to be either advocating or warning against anal fisting on commercial airplanes.  Not sure which.  I tend to move on when I see the words "fist" and "ass" in the same sentence.

The Swedes have a strange sense of humor.
 
2013-05-14 11:18:07 AM  
Wanna see something really swell?
 
2013-05-14 11:21:43 AM  

the_chief: Wanna see something really swell?


It'll probably end up growing on her.
 
2013-05-14 11:29:58 AM  

the_chief: Wanna see something really swell?


Guffaw!
 
2013-05-14 11:34:55 AM  

MrBallou: Is this the guy?

[i42.tinypic.com image 500x281]


Thanks, Smokey!
 
2013-05-14 11:46:57 AM  
This can't be true.
Just ... can't bee.
 
2013-05-14 12:17:31 PM  
This sounds like a scene that Hanna-Barbera artists would animate to show at the office Christmas party.

(Annnnd now you're picturing a naked Fred Flintstone with a beehive on his crotch, howling and frantically running past the same house and tree over and over again, aren't you? JOB DONE)
 
2013-05-14 01:21:14 PM  

squibbits: Was he a black guy? Maybe he was trying to Africanize them...


Here is his photo
 
2013-05-14 01:23:23 PM  

squibbits: Was he a black guy? Maybe he was trying to Africanize them...


Here is his photo
spokesgeek.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-14 01:32:39 PM  

HideMonkey: Rocket To Russia: So, Meow said the Dog is writing for News Sweden now?

Came in for this. Going out now.


MSTD is also the author of the poem, apparently.
 
2013-05-14 01:41:11 PM  
Oh, I thought you said Whore Nest. Whoops.
 
2013-05-14 01:43:12 PM  
Better idea than doing some of the hookers I've seen coming across the pages of FARK.
 
2013-05-14 02:05:44 PM  
I'd hate to *puts on shades* bee that guy.  YYYEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
 
2013-05-14 02:29:54 PM  
So how did it come out?
 
2013-05-14 03:46:56 PM  

ZAZ: When I see a girl with a wasp waist I can't help myself.


You're acting like an animal?
www.geeksofdoom.com
Now there's your scandal.

/Baby got stinger.
 
2013-05-14 03:48:37 PM  

RobotSpider: fta:  "To attempt to have intercourse with a hornet's nest is a very bad idea"

And THERE's your take-away, folks.


Words to live by.
 
2013-05-14 03:50:05 PM  

puckrock2000: Mynd you, wøsp stings Kan be pretti nasti...


A wasp once stung my sister.
 
2013-05-14 08:17:08 PM  
Punchline to old joke: "Me checkum for bees first!"
 
2013-05-15 01:57:25 AM  
One nest I'd like to get into.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

i203.photobucket.com
 
Displayed 98 of 98 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report