If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(RamblingBeachCat.com)   In honor of Teacher Appreciation Week: The Top 10 things no one tells you about making the crazy decision to take charge of a classroom   (ramblingbeachcat.com) divider line 224
    More: Amusing, Teacher Appreciation Week, student teachers, marine transfer operations, Asperger syndrome, American students  
•       •       •

15298 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 May 2013 at 11:59 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



224 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-05-13 10:51:57 AM
7. It's not the pay that really sucks; it's all the extra hours you'll spend at school (physically and mentally).

Fark you... everybody that goes into teaching must know this by now... god knows you people don't STFU about it.
 
2013-05-13 11:42:00 AM
11. There will always be a kid with ADD and a constantly runny nose, who stares off over your shoulder when asking a question, instead of looking you in the eye, and who never pays attention during lecture, but then asks you to repeat everything you just said.  This kid will interrupt regularly to ask completely bizarre, irrelevant, off the wall, and/or nonsensical questions at least once or twice per lecture.  He really wants to be your friend and will be the last one to leave the classroom when lecture is over, because he wants to stay and chat.
 
2013-05-13 12:02:28 PM

FloydA: 11. There will always be a kid with ADD and a constantly runny nose, who stares off over your shoulder when asking a question, instead of looking you in the eye, and who never pays attention during lecture, but then asks you to repeat everything you just said.  This kid will interrupt regularly to ask completely bizarre, irrelevant, off the wall, and/or nonsensical questions at least once or twice per lecture.  He really wants to be your friend and will be the last one to leave the classroom when lecture is over, because he wants to stay and chat.


That's startlingly accurate, yet it's also refreshing to learn that I wasn't the only one who did that to his teachers.
 
2013-05-13 12:04:35 PM
Teacher appreciation week was last week.
 
2013-05-13 12:06:02 PM
No, they pretty much tell us all that in advance.
 
2013-05-13 12:06:58 PM
Sorry, libtardos, I have nothing but contempt for those union thugs who are paid over 30 grand to babysit crotchfruit while pulling in extravagant benefits and three-month vacations on the taxpayer's dime. They're not doing anything I can't do with a library card, A Beka Books and faith in the Lord.
 
2013-05-13 12:09:08 PM
I'm guessing "that having sex with the children might land you in jail", is number one.

DNRTFA.
 
2013-05-13 12:11:38 PM
Average full time worker  puts in 228 work days a year.   Average Teacher puts in  154 days a year.

Average teach in MA earns $70K.


Cry me a river  or better yet go cry to your union.
 
2013-05-13 12:13:29 PM
I had a science teacher in seventh grade who used to lean against the lab tables. Always on the corner. It was like he was constantly trying to shove a lab table up his ass. I found it both hilarious and distracting.
 
2013-05-13 12:13:39 PM
Haha, beat the dumbass troll by five minutes. Work on your skillz, n00b.
 
2013-05-13 12:13:50 PM
12. Chances are, you are one of the many people who went into education in college because it was an easy major and you could party your heart out while the other "geeks" went into science and engineering degrees. Unfortunately for you, there are future scientists and engineers in your classroom. They will correct you... daily... They will show you where you messed up grading papers and they will correct you as you make mistakes with basic math on the chalkboard.

Do *not* throw an eraser at them, even if you *really* want to. Chances are, one of them has a parent that's a lawyer (another one of those hard degrees you avoided). Just sit back and continue drinking. Remember the infallible words of Homer, "Alcohol!! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."
 
2013-05-13 12:16:16 PM

theorellior: Sorry, libtardos, I have nothing but contempt for those union thugs who are paid over 30 grand to babysit crotchfruit while pulling in extravagant benefits and three-month vacations on the taxpayer's dime. They're not doing anything I can't do with a library card, A Beka Books and faith in the Lord.


1/10 (you were good until after the last conjunction. So close.
 
2013-05-13 12:18:49 PM
This just in, all jobs have aspects that suck.  Most people think they put up with crap, work too hard, don't make enough money, and are under-appreciated.  And a lot of those don't even have the benefit of being worshipped as a societal hero even if you're completely crappy at your job.
 
2013-05-13 12:19:47 PM
11.)   12 to 16 will get you 10 to 20
 
2013-05-13 12:20:13 PM
What I love about these threads is all the idiots who talk about teachers crying about their hours and salary...

Yet there isn't a single f*cking teacher here crying about hours and salary.
 
2013-05-13 12:20:41 PM

studs up: 1/10 (you were good until after the last conjunction. So close.


It was more of a satirical pre-emption than a real troll, which you can see two posts later.
 
2013-05-13 12:20:50 PM

Danger Mouse: Average full time worker  puts in 228 work days a year.   Average Teacher puts in  154 days a year.

Average teach in MA earns $70K.


Cry me a river  or better yet go cry to your union.


But....but.....there are these mythical "Lesson Plans" that must be written.  Every time the conversation about hours comes up, most people look at the fact that the school day runs about 7 hours - so teachers are in class maybe 35 hours a week.  Yes there are papers to grade (shouldn't you do that when they are doing other assignments), and after school things sometimes, then there is the mention of "Lesson Plans"?

If you are teaching 5th grade for several years, does it change that much?  If you move from 5th grade to 4th grade, can't you just use an already written plan?  Are these written from scratch every time?  Can't you just download them from the interwebbies?

Bottom line is teachers work about 9 months (36 weeks) out of the year, get full benefits, do not have to worry about winning new customers, and get free germs every day.
 
2013-05-13 12:20:54 PM
As someone that suffers from A.D.D. (the real kind, not the type where you get bored while listening to a live reading of the Great Gatsby), I would often let my mind wander while sitting in class during high school and college. ...

That neurological habit, however, came to a screeching halt when I became the one who was standing in front of a room full of students. If I was to allow my mind to drift away to a land of fantasy football statistics or what a well-done Justice League movie would be like, a room full of 11-14 year-olds would promptly do the following:

1. Stare at me with confused bewilderment.
2. Descend into utter chaos.



3. Trigger your digressions on purpose, usually to avoid doing actual work but sometimes just for the lulz
 
2013-05-13 12:21:02 PM

Whexican: 11.)   12 to 16 will get you 10 to 20


i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-13 12:21:09 PM
13 You'll wind up bitter, broke and cynical, with only other teachers for friends. You'll be required to humiliate yourself on live news every other year during contract negotiations. No matter what heroics you perform, about a third of the town is convinced you are overpaid slacking scum who should be fired and replaced with babysitters.
 
2013-05-13 12:21:17 PM

kwame: What I love about these threads is all the idiots who talk about teachers crying about their hours and salary...

Yet there isn't a single f*cking teacher here crying about hours and salary.


Strawmen are people too! They deserve to be heard!
 
2013-05-13 12:23:12 PM

theorellior: Sorry, libtardos, I have nothing but contempt for those union thugs who are paid over 30 grand to babysit crotchfruit while pulling in extravagant benefits and three-month vacations on the taxpayer's dime. They're not doing anything I can't do with a library card, A Beka Books and faith in the Lord.


Is this you?
 
2013-05-13 12:23:18 PM

Danger Mouse: Average full time worker  puts in 228 work days a year.   Average Teacher puts in  154 days a year.

Average teach in MA earns $70K.


Cry me a river  or better yet go cry to your union.


Let's just assume for one second that it really is the easiest job in existence, working the fewest hours and TOTALLY making bank.  The fact that you recognize this "fact", biatch about it nearly constantly and yet still arent taking advantage of what is clearly (in your mind) the sweetest deal on the planet indicates you might just be the stupidest motherfarker on the planet.  Congratulations!
 
2013-05-13 12:23:20 PM

phaseolus: 3. Trigger your digressions on purpose, usually to avoid doing actual work but sometimes just for the lulz


That was always fun.
 
2013-05-13 12:23:53 PM

theorellior: Sorry, libtardos, I have nothing but contempt for those union thugs who are paid over 30 grand to babysit crotchfruit while pulling in extravagant benefits and three-month vacations on the taxpayer's dime. They're not doing anything I can't do with a library card, A Beka Books and faith in the Lord.


Is this you???
 
2013-05-13 12:23:56 PM

Gabrielmot: 12. Chances are, you are one of the many people who went into education in college because it was an easy major and you could party your heart out while the other "geeks" went into science and engineering degrees. Unfortunately for you, there are future scientists and engineers in your classroom. They will correct you... daily... They will show you where you messed up grading papers and they will correct you as you make mistakes with basic math on the chalkboard.

Do *not* throw an eraser at them, even if you *really* want to. Chances are, one of them has a parent that's a lawyer (another one of those hard degrees you avoided). Just sit back and continue drinking. Remember the infallible words of Homer, "Alcohol!! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."


In VA, at least, to teach science, you have to have a degree in science.
 
2013-05-13 12:24:31 PM
In some states, they appreciate teachers by using all the property taxes to buy footballs and then fire the teachers.

It starts with a T
 
2013-05-13 12:25:19 PM

kwame: What I love about these threads is all the idiots who talk about teachers crying about their hours and salary...

Yet there isn't a single f*cking teacher here crying about hours and salary.


The way it usually works is:

"Hey! You guys get paid like kings and hardly work!"

"Actually..."

"Look! Crying about your pay and hours!"
 
2013-05-13 12:25:46 PM
Those who can, do.  Those who can't, teach.
 
2013-05-13 12:28:09 PM

Gabrielmot: 12. Chances are, you are one of the many people who went into education in college because it was an easy major and you could party your heart out while the other "geeks" went into science and engineering degrees. Unfortunately for you, there are future scientists and engineers in your classroom. They will correct you... daily... They will show you where you messed up grading papers and they will correct you as you make mistakes with basic math on the chalkboard.

Do *not* throw an eraser at them, even if you *really* want to. Chances are, one of them has a parent that's a lawyer (another one of those hard degrees you avoided). Just sit back and continue drinking. Remember the infallible words of Homer, "Alcohol!! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."


You sound like someone who deserves a chalky eraser thrown at his face.
 
2013-05-13 12:28:46 PM

JohnCarter: If you are teaching 5th grade for several years, does it change that much?


The problem with history is that they keep making more of it.

VA updates its history requirements once every few years. The NCLB tests also change regularly, and you're expected to take what they're testing on into account. So a given lesson plan might last 3 years and sometimes only 1.
 
2013-05-13 12:30:39 PM

Prey4reign: Those who can, do.  Those who can't, teach.


And those who can't do even that pass laws about teaching.

/Applies to pretty much every industry - if you can't cut it as a doctor, pass laws about medicine
 
2013-05-13 12:31:29 PM

ThatGuyGreg: Fark you... everybody that goes into teaching must know this by now... god knows you people don't STFU about it.


Also, keep in mind that teaching is the only profession where this happens.

/The only one.
 
2013-05-13 12:33:18 PM
I was a teacher for over 15 years . It was  a carreer I always wanted, trained for and excelled at, but after year after year of know it all parents, abusive kids who didn't want to learn, crushing work hours, and meager pay I just coudn't do it any more. You can't pay teachers enough.   Day in, day out, year after year, they pick up the manltle of educating and rasing our most precious assets, our children.   We take them in, guide them, nuture them and the majority of socity spits in our faces and blames us for every little thing that goes wrong.

I couldn't take it anymore.  People think teaching is easy. No way. It's not for the faint of heart.
You need to be not just a teacher, but also guidence conselor, nurse, baby sittier, mentor, friend, field trip planner,leader, advocate...all the while working loooooooooooooooooong, hard hours all for nothing,

All the haters can kiss my flabby ass. You owe everything to your teachers and this country just shiats all over them.  No thanks.
 
2013-05-13 12:34:32 PM

vygramul: Prey4reign: Those who can, do.  Those who can't, teach.

And those who can't do even that pass laws about teaching.

/Applies to pretty much every industry - if you can't cut it as a doctor, pass laws about medicine


But that would require going into politics and my momma raised me to avoid a life of crime.  This is why yesterday was so special to me.
 
2013-05-13 12:38:18 PM
Read a few days worth of Fark and you can see it's all about being with students with benefits and no "dinner first" requirements.
 
2013-05-13 12:38:26 PM

2 grams: I couldn't take it anymore.  People think teaching is easy. No way. It's not for the faint of heart.


I don't think teaching is easy.  I think it's stressful and draining, much like being a police officer or fire fighter.  I think it deserves a lot of respect.

The one difference, however, is I don't hear police officers or fire fighters constantly biatching about how hard their jobs are.  Not sure why teachers have the market cornered on that, but it makes people much less sympathetic.
 
2013-05-13 12:38:57 PM

Danger Mouse: Average full time worker  puts in 228 work days a year.   Average Teacher puts in  154 days a year.

Average teach in MA earns $70K.


Cry me a river  or better yet go cry to your union.


You either are pulling numbers out of your ass or things are insane in MA.

In the real world teachers work a 10 month contract. My district (I am on the school board) has 190 work days for teachers. The last day of work for teachers this year is June 7 and they will be back in school on August 5th.

Bennies are decent and a teacher with 20 years of experience (in the district) and a Masters will make $64k. That is about half of what I make with equivalent experience and academic history. I started out as a teacher in the 90s and I put in about 60 hours a week - even more during football season when i coached. That lasted for two years before I bailed. I make double now, work 40 hours, have far better benefits, and get tons of time off at times of my choosing.
 
2013-05-13 12:39:12 PM

kwame: What I love about these threads is all the idiots who talk about teachers crying about their hours and salary...

Yet there isn't a single f*cking teacher here crying about hours and salary.


If you'd like, I can let my wife log in to my account. I hear about it *every* Friday.

/To be fair, her salary has been frozen at year 10 for the past 4 years.
//If a teacher is hired from outside the county with 14 years experience (like my wife has, but hers are all in the same county), they'd get paid at level 14.
 
2013-05-13 12:39:33 PM

Gecko Gingrich: ThatGuyGreg: Fark you... everybody that goes into teaching must know this by now... god knows you people don't STFU about it.

Also, keep in mind that teaching is the only profession where this happens.

/The only one.


Well them and the damn  Nurses.
 
2013-05-13 12:42:05 PM

2 grams: I was a teacher for over 15 years . It was  a carreer I always wanted, trained for and excelled at, but after year after year of know it all parents, abusive kids who didn't want to learn, crushing work hours, and meager pay I just coudn't do it any more. You can't pay teachers enough.   Day in, day out, year after year, they pick up the manltle of educating and rasing our most precious assets, our children.   We take them in, guide them, nuture them and the majority of socity spits in our faces and blames us for every little thing that goes wrong.

I couldn't take it anymore.  People think teaching is easy. No way. It's not for the faint of heart.
You need to be not just a teacher, but also guidence conselor, nurse, baby sittier, mentor, friend, field trip planner,leader, advocate...all the while working loooooooooooooooooong, hard hours all for nothing,

All the haters can kiss my flabby ass. You owe everything to your teachers and this country just shiats all over them.  No thanks.


[notsureifserious.jpeg]
 
2013-05-13 12:42:10 PM

JohnCarter: Danger Mouse: Average full time worker  puts in 228 work days a year.   Average Teacher puts in  154 days a year.

Average teach in MA earns $70K.


Cry me a river  or better yet go cry to your union.

But....but.....there are these mythical "Lesson Plans" that must be written.  Every time the conversation about hours comes up, most people look at the fact that the school day runs about 7 hours - so teachers are in class maybe 35 hours a week.  Yes there are papers to grade (shouldn't you do that when they are doing other assignments), and after school things sometimes, then there is the mention of "Lesson Plans"?

If you are teaching 5th grade for several years, does it change that much?  If you move from 5th grade to 4th grade, can't you just use an already written plan?  Are these written from scratch every time?  Can't you just download them from the interwebbies?

Bottom line is teachers work about 9 months (36 weeks) out of the year, get full benefits, do not have to worry about winning new customers, and get free germs every day.


Yes, because teachers aren't required to keep up certifications and attend additional training those other 3 months, it's just 3 months of sweet vacation every year.
 
2013-05-13 12:42:37 PM

Prey4reign: Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.


Cart's in front of the horse, here.  Somehow I doubt people with any sense of self-worth will willingly take a pay cut to work a tough, thankless job that is dismissed by the culture as a haven for underachievers.

So I mean, yeah, as long as the U.S. is convinced teachers suck by definition, then the teachers we hire will suck.  I make good money in the tech sector; why should I take a pay cut to babysit not only your spoiled crotchfruit but your own entitled attitude only to be ridiculed for the effort?
 
2013-05-13 12:43:21 PM
My mom put in her 30 years in inner city schools.  Now she works in a hospice.  Ask her which job she found more depressing.
 
2013-05-13 12:43:27 PM

Dr. Whoof: The one difference, however, is I don't hear police officers or fire fighters constantly biatching about how hard their jobs are.  Not sure why teachers have the market cornered on that, but it makes people much less sympathetic.


You haven't been paying attention. But they their complaints usually revolve around 'Pay Me or Die'.
 
2013-05-13 12:45:14 PM

JohnCarter: But....but.....there are these mythical "Lesson Plans" that must be written.  Every time the conversation about hours comes up, most people look at the fact that the school day runs about 7 hours - so teachers are in class maybe 35 hours a week.  Yes there are papers to grade (shouldn't you do that when they are doing other assignments), and after school things sometimes, then there is the mention of "Lesson Plans"?

If you are teaching 5th grade for several years, does it change that much?  If you move from 5th grade to 4th grade, can't you just use an already written plan?  Are these written from scratch every time?  Can't you just download them from the interwebbies?


Yours is one of the better comments to this effect, so I'll reply to it. (I'm sorry - hopefully with enough therapy you can get over having been a little bit associated with me.)

As for grading, if it takes a student half an hour to do it, it takes anywhere from 2 to 5 minutes to grade it well (really figure out what's going on and leave helpful comments) unless they do a perfect job. So, for a class of 30, that's nearly an hour. So even for the young levels where they don't have homework, it just doesn't fit in the class time.

And then there's lesson plans. Ideally, these are what's happening during that gloriously care-free summer. And that goes great - you've got each day planned, all the assignments designed artfully, you've anticipated any possible question and know how to answer it. You even have a cool visual aid for that one lecture that everyone would sleep through. Then on the third day of school the damned fire alarm goes off and you lose half your class time, and all your daily plans are shot for at least two weeks while you try to get back on track, assuming nothing else happens.

Yeah, you can reuse lesson plans (even get them from the internet, though how that's better than just reading out of the text book, I don't know) as long as they're perfect the first time (they aren't) and everything happens exactly the same (it doesn't). At the very least, after a while you ought to have a feel for the class and tailor your lessons to them, since different groups of kids can be very different. So it's not completely from scratch, but it takes a while. My rule of thumb is that doing it from scratch takes 3-4 hours per hour talking and adapting a plan takes up to an hour (less, depending on how much I have to do) per hour talking. But before you say "well, then older teacher have it made" ask yourself whether you really want a teacher who's just reciting the same basic lecture year after year until he's completely bored with it and droning on in front of the class.
 
2013-05-13 12:45:40 PM

Dr. Whoof: 2 grams: I couldn't take it anymore.  People think teaching is easy. No way. It's not for the faint of heart.

I don't think teaching is easy.  I think it's stressful and draining, much like being a police officer or fire fighter.  I think it deserves a lot of respect.

The one difference, however, is I don't hear police officers or fire fighters constantly biatching about how hard their jobs are.  Not sure why teachers have the market cornered on that, but it makes people much less sympathetic.


The reason teachers biatch as opposed to fire fighters and police officers is that no one is telling fire fighters or police officers that they're overpaid and have it easy. I'm married to a teacher; they get it from all sides. It's pretty hard not to get defensive.
 
2013-05-13 12:46:32 PM
I taught high school science for 3 year after college, so here's my take on TFA:

10. Having to poop and/or pee while you are also teaching a room full of children is excruciating - nonsense...my body learned to poop when I got up long before graduating college. Pee? Class is only 40 minutes ling, dumbass. This was never an issue.

9. Your attention span doesn't get a break - bullshiat...my brain quickly learned to take micro breaks while wandering around the classroom.

8. You have mannerisms and ticks that you exhibit all the time, but have never been aware of - more bullshiat unless you are a moran who's incapable of any meaningful self-evaluation.

7. It's not the pay that really sucks; it's all the extra hours you'll spend at school (physically and mentally) - guess what, cupcake...ANY job with responsibility entails extra hours. Don't like it? Get a job stocking shelves at night Costco.

6. You will become that old person who says that all music/television/movies kids like now are bad...and just like them, you will be wrong (sort of) - meh.

5. The school's principal may be your boss, but the school's bookkeeper/secretary owns your soul - if you're too stupid to figure this out during your first year on ANY job, you're...well...stupid.

4.  All the stuff you hear about how far behind American students are compared to the rest of the world is (mostly) B.S. - guess what? 50% of every population is dumber than average. Video at 11.

3. Don't assign seats on the first day- better yet, never assign seats.

2. School lunch food is okay, but school breakfast food is awesome - okay...whatever.

1. Do not base your future in the teaching profession on your first year in the classroom - yeah, I was all gung-ho my first year...meh my second, and I gotta find something different before I'm too old my third...and last.

YMMV...
 
2013-05-13 12:46:34 PM

JohnCarter: Danger Mouse: Average full time worker  puts in 228 work days a year.   Average Teacher puts in  154 days a year.

Average teach in MA earns $70K.


Cry me a river  or better yet go cry to your union.

But....but.....there are these mythical "Lesson Plans" that must be written.  Every time the conversation about hours comes up, most people look at the fact that the school day runs about 7 hours - so teachers are in class maybe 35 hours a week.  Yes there are papers to grade (shouldn't you do that when they are doing other assignments), and after school things sometimes, then there is the mention of "Lesson Plans"?

If you are teaching 5th grade for several years, does it change that much?  If you move from 5th grade to 4th grade, can't you just use an already written plan?  Are these written from scratch every time?  Can't you just download them from the interwebbies?

Bottom line is teachers work about 9 months (36 weeks) out of the year, get full benefits, do not have to worry about winning new customers, and get free germs every day.


Well, the lesson plans aren't mythical. When I was teaching they had to be handed in to the department head every Monday morning. And yeah, it would have been nice to just re-use them year to year, but when you're a brand new teacher you have to start from scratch. Even then, things change and they have to be constantly changed and revised, especially when the teaching strategy du jour changes and you're forced to conform to BS requirements handed down from people who haven't stepped foot in a classroom for years, if ever. And keep in mind that these lesson plans have to fill up every second of a 50-minute period. If you stop to think for even thirty seconds about what you're going to do next, that's enough time for hell to break loose. Especially with younger kids, they have to be occupied and busy every single second.

And no, you don't get to work on them or grading while the kids do their assignments. So much has been piled on that teachers are forced to spend every second in front of the class, so everything else is assigned as homework. Ever wonder why a lot of kids come home with three or four hours worth of work every night?

12. Your fellow teachers and the administration can be just as much of a bunch of assholes as your students. Don't count on them for any support, especially if it means them growing a pair and standing up to pushy helicopter parents.
 
2013-05-13 12:46:42 PM

Dr. Whoof: The one difference, however, is I don't hear police officers or fire fighters constantly biatching about how hard their jobs are.


HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wow.

First,  Police Officers are usually paid their worth, unlike teachers.  Firefighters?  I don't know, a lot are volunteer.

But you really don't think they biatch about their jobs?  Please.
 
Displayed 50 of 224 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report