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(Deadline)   World War Z is receiving a lot of press before its June premiere. Unfortunately, it's the same type of press that John Carter of Mars and Battleship got before their premieres; in short, this movie is destined to be 2013's biggest bomb   ( divider line
    More: Obvious, World War Z, battleships, Christopher McQuarrie, Marc Forster, Rob Moore, J. Michael Straczynski, Brad Grey, GK Films  
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3646 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 13 May 2013 at 2:27 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-05-13 03:51:54 AM  
6 votes:
Battleship was farking awesome.   It didn't spend more than two minutes on the whole "romantic character development" angle, giving us enough for this...

and this...

And then spent the remaining 98% of the movie on "shoot the aliens in the face with the 5" gun" awesome sauce.

That movie delivered, and you're a terrorist hugger if you disagree.
2013-05-13 01:55:45 AM  
6 votes:
More like World War Zzzz, am I right!?
2013-05-13 01:33:23 PM  
3 votes:

/for the LULZ
//and MeowMix
2013-05-13 11:26:38 AM  
2 votes:

Nabb1: "Titanic" got a ton of bad buzz before it came out, too. Just saying.

They said it was going to "sink", not "stink".  Careful reading, son.
2013-05-13 04:19:56 AM  
2 votes:
So farking bored of zombies I'd rather watch the House try to pass a binding resolution on chicklets.
2013-05-13 02:54:33 AM  
2 votes:

karmachameleon: Still going to wait for actual reviews and, of course, my own viewing.  Production issues and bad press can result in movies like Waterworld and Ishtar.  They can also result in movies like Jaws and Star Wars.  You just can't tell until you see the damn thing for yourself.

So basically you're going to be the guinea pig for everyone else? I salute you, you brave soul.
2013-05-13 02:10:25 AM  
2 votes:
WWZ the book is told as a series of interviews with survivors from a great zombie infestation. These survivors come from all around the world, and shows that Max Brooks really took a long look at the geopolitical ramifications of a large-scale outbreak.
WWZ  the movie seems to be "Brad Pitt's 'Murrican Zombie Mowdown" co-starring a bunch of computer-generated zombies.
Beside that, zombies are boring. We're into this string now.
2013-05-13 12:46:35 AM  
2 votes:
Perhaps now they can make the book into a movie
2013-05-13 02:13:26 PM  
1 vote:

Mentat: The moment Damon Lindelof is called in to fix the script, it's doomed.

2.d. To kill and preserve (a specimen) intact for microscopic study.
9. To spay or castrate (an animal).
2013-05-13 09:50:59 AM  
1 vote:

ShawnDoc: doglover: Better than any Transformers flick.

Stepping barefoot on warm dog shiat is better than any Transformers movie.

You shut your whore mouth!
2013-05-13 08:03:24 AM  
1 vote:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: More like World War Zzzz, am I right!?

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call "low hanging fruit."
2013-05-13 06:42:45 AM  
1 vote:
John Carter was a GREAT movie. Just had some of the worst marketing I've ever seen...
2013-05-13 05:27:17 AM  
1 vote:
John Carter was a fantastic film.  Highly recommend reading to learn about just how big a cluster-eff that marketing campaign was:
2013-05-13 04:08:13 AM  
1 vote:

ShawnDoc: Mentat: The moment Damon Lindelof is called in to fix the script, it's doomed.

I'm curious, how did he got from writing a few TV episodes to being given so many high profile scripts?

Cowboys vs Aliens - Big budget flop, that should have been good.
Prometheus - I don't think this flopped at the box office, but almost all the hate is directed at the script and how dumb the characters were.

And yet somehow he gets:
Star Trek Into Darkness (Huge budget/hype movie)
World War Z (Which looks like its going to be a huge flop)
Tomorrowland (Which is going to be a high budget Disney film starring Clooney)

"I need some characters to get lost in the alien structure, to show how dangerous the situation is.  I know, I'll pick the two guys with the mapping computer and the scanning drones."
2013-05-13 03:48:36 AM  
1 vote:
2013-05-13 03:15:04 AM  
1 vote:

I knew zombies were completely ruined today when I saw an urban gangbanger, pants hanging around his knees, with a pin that said "I have a zombie survival plan."

Yep. All the social commentary and allegory is gone from the zombie genre, and it has been replaced with survivalist ideals, end-of-world fantasies, and "I get to kill people and not feel bad about it" types.

Another clue that it's over: Sporting goods stores sell a variety of gear marketed to the new crop of lower-I.Q. zombie fans; Targets, bullets, survival gear, etc.. The fans now are frat boys, rednecks, gangbangers, and conspiracy nuts who think it  just might happen (or wish it would).

I think these days, the message and meaning of the original Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead would go right over the heads of the bulk of new zombie fans who were turned on to the genre by the Zombie Survival Guide and WWZ... And it's not like Romero was subtle, either.

So for those keeping score, here's the list of classic monsters that have been destroyed by Hollywood and exploitative writers who "reinvented" them:

Golems (specifically flesh golems, i.e. Frankenstein's monster)
Aliens (especially greys and body snatchers)

Really, all that's left are amorphous blobs, giant insects, dragons, kaiju (although Hollywood almost ruined them), and mermen/gill men. I think demons and devils are still usable, too, but angels as monsters is overdone.

I suppose Hollywood could start working on movies about chimeras, cockatrice, baba yaga, and various elementals.

I'd love to see someone breathe life (haha) into the zombie genre, but at this point nobody's doing anything  smart. It's all the same gory survivalist shiat that uses the basic idea of undead humans, but misses the opportunity to position them as the force of nature/backdrop that brings out man's worst urges. Instead, they  glorify the idea that the end of the world is awesome because all your survival plans will be put to use.

The Walking Dead tries to keep the focus on the people, but too many mouth-breathing viewers get all pissy if they don't have a bunch of zombie kills every episode. How long before the show just becomes an endless stream of shallow zombie-gore and "fortify the encampment" scenes because the new breed of zombie fans don't like all that talking and drama?

Sigh. I'm cranky about this, and I'm certain it all goes back to the Zombie Survival Guide. By releasing that book, Max Brooks opened zombies to a whole new audience that didn't give a shiat about subtlety or subtext. Just like Anne Rice turned vampires into pretty fops, and the plethora of crappy ghost hunting shows turned ghosts into dumbed down jump-scare startlethons.

F♥ck it. The old movies are still around. I'll go watch something made before 1990, or re-read I Am Legend again.
2013-05-13 03:00:24 AM  
1 vote:

doglover: ShawnDoc: doglover: John Carter was a good movie, given the press.

No, no it wasn't.   It was a long drawn out movie about a guy who can jump far and had an alien dog for a pet.

I went into the movie wanting to like it, and thinking the critics just had a bug up their ass.  I was wrong, they were right.

Better than any Transformers flick.

I'd rather catch crabs than AIDS, but it doesn't mean I'd enjoy it.
2013-05-13 02:05:39 AM  
1 vote:

doglover: Better than any Transformers flick.

Stepping barefoot on warm dog shiat is better than any Transformers movie.
2013-05-13 01:20:17 AM  
1 vote:

Notabunny: fta It would just be nice to see a little more understanding among the media and Wall Street analysts, to recognize that just because a film has problems during the process of production, that doesn't mean it's doomed.

In the future, you may also want to consider the opinions of your potential audience.

The moment Damon Lindelof is called in to fix the script, it's doomed.
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