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(Deadline)   World War Z is receiving a lot of press before its June premiere. Unfortunately, it's the same type of press that John Carter of Mars and Battleship got before their premieres; in short, this movie is destined to be 2013's biggest bomb   (deadline.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, World War Z, battleships, Christopher McQuarrie, Marc Forster, Rob Moore, J. Michael Straczynski, Brad Grey, GK Films  
•       •       •

3644 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 13 May 2013 at 2:27 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-13 08:05:57 AM  
Didnt really care for Iron Man 3. Tried to like it, I really did. Kingsley steals the movie.
 
2013-05-13 08:12:52 AM  

Clutch2013: That's fine, but this is a reportedly $200,000,000, 75 minute movie. Unless they spent that 200 millon getting the world's hottest actresses together for the greatest lesbian orgy OF ALL TIME...the movie isn't gonna be good.


For only 75 minutes, do they discount the tickets?  Sure, longer movies don't cost more, and quantity doesn't necessarily mean quality.  But geez.  That's too damn short.
 
2013-05-13 08:25:29 AM  
I just find it mind boggling that Brad Pitt would bankroll this movie because he loved the book, and then blow all that money making a movie that is completely unlike the book.

On the plus side I guess this means somebody will be able to make a movie that is actually like the book.
 
2013-05-13 08:28:13 AM  
Meh, I still want to see it.
 
2013-05-13 08:33:09 AM  
I liked John Carter and Battleship.  The former gets a bad wrap, the latter was clearly the equivalent of junk food but a little of that is ok now and then.
 
2013-05-13 08:38:09 AM  
The unabridged audiobook gets released tomorrow.

/literally just preordered before I came to Fark
//did the ol' free audiobook, support my favorite podcast thing
//not a shill for Audible
 
2013-05-13 08:43:55 AM  
Maybe I'm alone, but I hated the book.  Basically, EVERYONE in that story is too stupid or oblivious to the obvious, and no one is smart enough to take care of it from the start.  Then, when it's a problem, people are STILL stupid and don't do the easy and OBVIOUS things to get rid of the zombies.

Sorry, can't stand continuing stupidity.
 
2013-05-13 08:53:58 AM  

Rent Party: Battleship was farking awesome.   It didn't spend more than two minutes on the whole "romantic character development" angle, giving us enough for this...

[patpoh.fooyoh.com image 600x250]

and this...

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x355]

And then spent the remaining 98% of the movie on "shoot the aliens in the face with the 5" gun" awesome sauce.

[geektyrant.com image 850x358]

That movie delivered, and you're a terrorist hugger if you disagree.

[image.blingee.com image 358x317]


But But But....

Hand-break turning....
A Battleship.....
On an ANCHOR!

(Just one of many issues)

/Brain Still Hurts
//So does Physics!
 
2013-05-13 08:57:50 AM  

karmachameleon: Still going to wait for actual reviews and, of course, my own viewing.  Production issues and bad press can result in movies like Waterworld and Ishtar.  They can also result in movies like Jaws and Star Wars.  You just can't tell until you see the damn thing for yourself.


Hollywood thrives on that attitude. It doesn't matter if a film is good or bad, as long as you're willing to fork over the dough to see it.
 
2013-05-13 09:00:58 AM  

ZeroCorpse: Really, all that's left are amorphous blobs, giant insects, dragons, kaiju (although Hollywood almost ruined them), and mermen/gill men. I think demons and devils are still usable, too, but angels as monsters is overdone.


You ROONED IT!
 
2013-05-13 09:01:51 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com\\

/that's what I get for not previewing.
 
2013-05-13 09:02:46 AM  

bborchar: Maybe I'm alone, but I hated the book.  Basically, EVERYONE in that story is too stupid or oblivious to the obvious, and no one is smart enough to take care of it from the start.  Then, when it's a problem, people are STILL stupid and don't do the easy and OBVIOUS things to get rid of the zombies.

Sorry, can't stand continuing stupidity.


That's what made it realistic.
 
2013-05-13 09:06:58 AM  

Gosling: So basically you're going to be the guinea pig for everyone else? I salute you, you brave soul.


Oh no, don't get me wrong - I'll let the critics do that!  :-)

Clutch2013: That's fine, but this is a reportedly $200,000,000, 75 minute movie. Unless they spent that 200 millon getting the world's hottest actresses together for the greatest lesbian orgy OF ALL TIME...the movie isn't gonna be good.


I concede it doesn't sound promising so far.
 
2013-05-13 09:09:07 AM  
I loved the book so much that the percieved amount of bastardization of the content makes me want to watch the movie in no way that allows for positive marketing info getting back to the studio.  I know I will watch it... I must watch the trainwreck... does anyone know how pirates go about that in these day and age.

/usually very anti-pirate.
 
2013-05-13 09:24:31 AM  
only a 75 min movie? are we sure about that? 200 million on 75 mins?
come on! at least a 120 min movie.
 
2013-05-13 09:26:03 AM  

bborchar: Maybe I'm alone, but I hated the book.  Basically, EVERYONE in that story is too stupid or oblivious to the obvious, and no one is smart enough to take care of it from the start.  Then, when it's a problem, people are STILL stupid and don't do the easy and OBVIOUS things to get rid of the zombies.

Sorry, can't stand continuing stupidity.


For me it's the fact that the author doesn't seem to understand how 5,000 lb bombs, depleted uranium shells, or Hellfire missiles work. There's nothing left to get up when you strike zombies with those. The Battle of Yonkers would've been over in a few hours, with the humans winning.

There are plenty of other good parts in the book, though.
 
2013-05-13 09:36:30 AM  

verbaltoxin: bborchar: Maybe I'm alone, but I hated the book.  Basically, EVERYONE in that story is too stupid or oblivious to the obvious, and no one is smart enough to take care of it from the start.  Then, when it's a problem, people are STILL stupid and don't do the easy and OBVIOUS things to get rid of the zombies.

Sorry, can't stand continuing stupidity.

For me it's the fact that the author doesn't seem to understand how 5,000 lb bombs, depleted uranium shells, or Hellfire missiles work. There's nothing left to get up when you strike zombies with those. The Battle of Yonkers would've been over in a few hours, with the humans winning.

There are plenty of other good parts in the book, though.


Yeah, it isn't like the zombies use tactics or take cover, they're an Air Force pilot's wet dream.  A few FAEs or some white phosphorus would have absolutely destroyed them.  The book made a point of saying that the bodies kept decaying, and could be damaged.  I don't care how little pain they feel, all the skin and muscle burned off the bodies, or every bone smashed to bits means that the zombies won't be moving anywhere.  The Battle of Yonkers would have consisted of the Air Force dropping a shiat ton of ordinance, some arty units firing off their M777s, and then the grunts getting up in a line and walking through the mass of wrecked zombies, putting a round into every head they could find.
 
2013-05-13 09:43:51 AM  
So... I have an idea for the worst possible movie...

Zombis on Mars.

Crap, that might make a good album title, actually.
 
2013-05-13 09:50:59 AM  

ShawnDoc: doglover: Better than any Transformers flick.

Stepping barefoot on warm dog shiat is better than any Transformers movie.


upload.wikimedia.org

You shut your whore mouth!
 
2013-05-13 10:01:08 AM  

wildcardjack: So... I have an idea for the worst possible movie...

Zombis on Mars.

Crap, that might make a good album title, actually.


Ghosts of Mars.  Study it up.

/close enough
 
2013-05-13 10:07:33 AM  
I paid too much attention to the critics.  When John Carter of Mars and then Battleship came on Starz, both times I watched "just to see how bad it could be."  And it turns out neither of them were really all that bad.

John Carter was closer to the book than I honestly expected it to be, and certainly closer in spirit than many adaptations I've seen heralded as "most faithful evar!"  Going into it, I was sure they would have completely crapped all over the source material, but aside from the limitations of transferring from the page to the silver screen, I thought the majority of key elements made it intact.  ERB's works are typically abused beyond recognition, but in this case I think they did a decent job.

Battleship KNEW it was only going to succeed if it was a little campy, and so it played it the only way there was to play it.  And despite being a movie about a board game that involves putting pegs in plastic ships, it actually managed to be a fun little show.  Decent graphics.  Actors who didn't take themselves seriously while managing to play characters taking themselves TOO seriously.  Overall, I thought they did a decent job with the material and premise they were given.

Critics can suck balls.  I'm going to start using negative reviews to decide which movies to see.
 
2013-05-13 10:08:18 AM  
The people ripping 'John Carter' either had over-blown expectations or didn't see the movie.

It was by no means terrible/awful/full of suck.

It *was* a nice little adventure story that really should have been turned into a trilogy.

I Disney hyped it so much that people were expecting 'Star Wars' and it wasn't that type of movie.
 
2013-05-13 10:08:36 AM  

Freakin Rican: only a 75 min movie? are we sure about that? 200 million on 75 mins?
come on! at least a 120 min movie.


That's the really bad sign, because with 200 million they have to have more then 75 minutes of footage, so mass amounts must have ended up on the cutting room floor.  If they can't string together more than 75 minutes, it means shooting likely did not go well.
 
2013-05-13 10:11:45 AM  

tillerman35: I paid too much attention to the critics.  When John Carter of Mars and then Battleship came on Starz, both times I watched "just to see how bad it could be."  And it turns out neither of them were really all that bad.

John Carter was closer to the book than I honestly expected it to be, and certainly closer in spirit than many adaptations I've seen heralded as "most faithful evar!"  Going into it, I was sure they would have completely crapped all over the source material, but aside from the limitations of transferring from the page to the silver screen, I thought the majority of key elements made it intact.  ERB's works are typically abused beyond recognition, but in this case I think they did a decent job.

Battleship KNEW it was only going to succeed if it was a little campy, and so it played it the only way there was to play it.  And despite being a movie about a board game that involves putting pegs in plastic ships, it actually managed to be a fun little show.  Decent graphics.  Actors who didn't take themselves seriously while managing to play characters taking themselves TOO seriously.  Overall, I thought they did a decent job with the material and premise they were given.

Critics can suck balls.  I'm going to start using negative reviews to decide which movies to see.


Armond White will show you the way.
 
2013-05-13 10:13:56 AM  

Notabunny: Perhaps now they can make the book into a movie


Seconded.

The book was almost like "The Things They Carried" for the zombie apocalypse.  It was full of cool little vignettes and reflections on how much society has changed because of it.  The movie looks like: "Ooohh, zombies!  They can attack!  Let's fortify and fight back!"  Essentially in the book we "lost" and it was about the aftermath of that.
 
2013-05-13 10:15:26 AM  

ha-ha-guy: Freakin Rican: only a 75 min movie? are we sure about that? 200 million on 75 mins?
come on! at least a 120 min movie.

That's the really bad sign, because with 200 million they have to have more then 75 minutes of footage, so mass amounts must have ended up on the cutting room floor.  If they can't string together more than 75 minutes, it means shooting likely did not go well.


thats just unbelievable. how can we really explain it all and have good action in 75 mins? like you said alot must be on the floor but i just dont get what we will see in 75 mins. i dont know im just at a loss for words right now. i was hoping for something decent. i read the book and love zombie flicks. i knew it wasnt going to be like the book but was hoping for something good to watch. now im just like ah whatever. my and my kids were waiting to go see it since we all read the book but maybe we will just watch a crappy cam copy online. having brad pitt run around the movie the whole time isnt gonna save the movie. its not a love story or chic flick where woman are gonna line up to watch it. oh well it isnt my 200 million
 
2013-05-13 10:19:54 AM  
I loved Battleship.
 
2013-05-13 10:22:14 AM  

Ned Stark: I loved Battleship.


I loved American Battleships.
 
2013-05-13 10:30:16 AM  

Saiga410: Ned Stark: I loved Battleship.

I loved American Battleships.


I loved American Graffiti
 
2013-05-13 10:33:44 AM  

RyansPrivates: Notabunny: Perhaps now they can make the book into a movie

Seconded.

The book was almost like "The Things They Carried" for the zombie apocalypse.  It was full of cool little vignettes and reflections on how much society has changed because of it.  The movie looks like: "Ooohh, zombies!  They can attack!  Let's fortify and fight back!"  Essentially in the book we "lost" and it was about the aftermath of that.


And that's why I won't see the movie. The book was well-done, and the very things that made the book a success - the vignette approach, the human interest, the post-apocalypse efforts to rebuilt - are simply not present in the movie, at least from what folks have been saying with regards to the re-re-re-rewriting and the re-refilming.
 
2013-05-13 10:33:45 AM  

wildcardjack: So... I have an idea for the worst possible movie...

Zombis on Mars.

Crap, that might make a good album title, actually.


They already did Ghosts of Mars with some somewhat zombie like baddies.

(Yes, it was bad)
 
2013-05-13 10:56:51 AM  

devildog123: verbaltoxin: bborchar: Maybe I'm alone, but I hated the book.  Basically, EVERYONE in that story is too stupid or oblivious to the obvious, and no one is smart enough to take care of it from the start.  Then, when it's a problem, people are STILL stupid and don't do the easy and OBVIOUS things to get rid of the zombies.

Sorry, can't stand continuing stupidity.

For me it's the fact that the author doesn't seem to understand how 5,000 lb bombs, depleted uranium shells, or Hellfire missiles work. There's nothing left to get up when you strike zombies with those. The Battle of Yonkers would've been over in a few hours, with the humans winning.

There are plenty of other good parts in the book, though.

Yeah, it isn't like the zombies use tactics or take cover, they're an Air Force pilot's wet dream.  A few FAEs or some white phosphorus would have absolutely destroyed them.  The book made a point of saying that the bodies kept decaying, and could be damaged.  I don't care how little pain they feel, all the skin and muscle burned off the bodies, or every bone smashed to bits means that the zombies won't be moving anywhere.  The Battle of Yonkers would have consisted of the Air Force dropping a shiat ton of ordinance, some arty units firing off their M777s, and then the grunts getting up in a line and walking through the mass of wrecked zombies, putting a round into every head they could find.


But that wouldn't have fit the author's ideological perspective.  Still a great book.

Slow-moving zombies simply aren't a threat.  Entertainment that uses them usually has to take great liberties with reality, as Brooks did, or skip ahead to the apocalypse part and not show the actual takeover.  Because trying to depict that society would end when faced with slow-moving humans with no motor controls, limited intelligence, and no capacity for organization is problematic.
 
2013-05-13 10:58:40 AM  

ZeroCorpse: HA HA!

I knew zombies were completely ruined today when I saw an urban gangbanger, pants hanging around his knees, with a pin that said "I have a zombie survival plan."

Yep. All the social commentary and allegory is gone from the zombie genre, and it has been replaced with survivalist ideals, end-of-world fantasies, and "I get to kill people and not feel bad about it" types.

Another clue that it's over: Sporting goods stores sell a variety of gear marketed to the new crop of lower-I.Q. zombie fans; Targets, bullets, survival gear, etc.. The fans now are frat boys, rednecks, gangbangers, and conspiracy nuts who think it  just might happen (or wish it would) ...


Lower IQ zombie fans...oh my god, so much this. farking fratboys and rednecks. I don't know how many pick-ups with a rifle rack in the back window and a "Zombie Hunting Team" (or whatever) bumper sticker I've seen... Mega eye roll. I saw one in Lincoln, Nebraska with like four or five zombie apocalypse-themed bumper stickers.

Mainstream zombie fiction is DEAD TO ME
 
2013-05-13 11:20:08 AM  

RyansPrivates: Saiga410: Ned Stark: I loved Battleship.

I loved American Battleships.

I loved American Graffiti


I loved Physical Graffiti
 
2013-05-13 11:20:09 AM  

FLMountainMan: devildog123: verbaltoxin: bborchar: Maybe I'm alone, but I hated the book.  Basically, EVERYONE in that story is too stupid or oblivious to the obvious, and no one is smart enough to take care of it from the start.  Then, when it's a problem, people are STILL stupid and don't do the easy and OBVIOUS things to get rid of the zombies.

Sorry, can't stand continuing stupidity.

For me it's the fact that the author doesn't seem to understand how 5,000 lb bombs, depleted uranium shells, or Hellfire missiles work. There's nothing left to get up when you strike zombies with those. The Battle of Yonkers would've been over in a few hours, with the humans winning.

There are plenty of other good parts in the book, though.

Yeah, it isn't like the zombies use tactics or take cover, they're an Air Force pilot's wet dream.  A few FAEs or some white phosphorus would have absolutely destroyed them.  The book made a point of saying that the bodies kept decaying, and could be damaged.  I don't care how little pain they feel, all the skin and muscle burned off the bodies, or every bone smashed to bits means that the zombies won't be moving anywhere.  The Battle of Yonkers would have consisted of the Air Force dropping a shiat ton of ordinance, some arty units firing off their M777s, and then the grunts getting up in a line and walking through the mass of wrecked zombies, putting a round into every head they could find.

But that wouldn't have fit the author's ideological perspective.  Still a great book.

Slow-moving zombies simply aren't a threat.  Entertainment that uses them usually has to take great liberties with reality, as Brooks did, or skip ahead to the apocalypse part and not show the actual takeover.  Because trying to depict that society would end when faced with slow-moving humans with no motor controls, limited intelligence, and no capacity for organization is problematic.


Yup.  People are stupid, in general- but not stupid enough to see a slow-moving corpse walking towards them and not try every single thing they can to destroy that mother f***er.  But the author is trying to force his square point in a round story.  It just doesn't fit.
 
2013-05-13 11:21:44 AM  
Wait, Damon Lindelof is a part of this movie? Then you just know it's going to be a steaming pile of dog shiat.
 
2013-05-13 11:26:38 AM  

Nabb1: "Titanic" got a ton of bad buzz before it came out, too. Just saying.


They said it was going to "sink", not "stink".  Careful reading, son.
 
2013-05-13 11:28:52 AM  
I somehow missed ever hearing about John Carter until I ended up discovering it on an inflight movie list.  I thought it was decent.  I don't know how it was marketed or financed or how they may have butchered any source material, but the end movie was all right.

Even if I knew nothing about WWZ, the CGI effects shot alone, of a zombie wave, makes me think the movie will be shiat.
 
2013-05-13 11:31:00 AM  

ShawnDoc: Mentat: The moment Damon Lindelof is called in to fix the script, it's doomed.

I'm curious, how did he got from writing a few TV episodes to being given so many high profile scripts?

Cowboys vs Aliens - Big budget flop, that should have been good.
Prometheus - I don't think this flopped at the box office, but almost all the hate is directed at the script and how dumb the characters were.

And yet somehow he gets:
Star Trek Into Darkness (Huge budget/hype movie)
World War Z (Which looks like its going to be a huge flop)
Tomorrowland (Which is going to be a high budget Disney film starring Clooney)


Classic "It's not what you know, (or your talent or skill ,apparently), but who you know,"  I'm guessing.
 
2013-05-13 11:41:37 AM  

BizarreMan: RyansPrivates: Saiga410: Ned Stark: I loved Battleship.

I loved American Battleships.

I loved American Graffiti

I loved Physical Graffiti


I loved Physical Education
 
2013-05-13 11:52:20 AM  

ZeroCorpse: I think these days, the message and meaning of the original Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead would go right over the heads of the bulk of new zombie fans who were turned on to the genre by the Zombie Survival Guide and WWZ... And it's not like Romero was subtle, either.


I love Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead.  But judging by Romeros recent Dead movies, I am basically at the point of thinking any commentary and social meaning were accidental.
 
2013-05-13 11:53:11 AM  

Bane of Broone: doglover: ShawnDoc: doglover: John Carter was a good movie, given the press.

No, no it wasn't.   It was a long drawn out movie about a guy who can jump far and had an alien dog for a pet.

I went into the movie wanting to like it, and thinking the critics just had a bug up their ass.  I was wrong, they were right.

Better than any Transformers flick.

I'd rather catch crabs than AIDS, but it doesn't mean I'd enjoy it.


Go on...
 
2013-05-13 12:02:49 PM  

manimal2878: ShawnDoc: Mentat: The moment Damon Lindelof is called in to fix the script, it's doomed.

I'm curious, how did he got from writing a few TV episodes to being given so many high profile scripts?

Cowboys vs Aliens - Big budget flop, that should have been good.
Prometheus - I don't think this flopped at the box office, but almost all the hate is directed at the script and how dumb the characters were.

And yet somehow he gets:
Star Trek Into Darkness (Huge budget/hype movie)
World War Z (Which looks like its going to be a huge flop)
Tomorrowland (Which is going to be a high budget Disney film starring Clooney)

Classic "It's not what you know, (or your talent or skill ,apparently), but who you know,"  I'm guessing.


I'm guessing it's because he's linked to J.J. Abrams.
 
2013-05-13 12:05:15 PM  

devildog123: verbaltoxin: bborchar: Maybe I'm alone, but I hated the book.  Basically, EVERYONE in that story is too stupid or oblivious to the obvious, and no one is smart enough to take care of it from the start.  Then, when it's a problem, people are STILL stupid and don't do the easy and OBVIOUS things to get rid of the zombies.

Sorry, can't stand continuing stupidity.

For me it's the fact that the author doesn't seem to understand how 5,000 lb bombs, depleted uranium shells, or Hellfire missiles work. There's nothing left to get up when you strike zombies with those. The Battle of Yonkers would've been over in a few hours, with the humans winning.

There are plenty of other good parts in the book, though.

Yeah, it isn't like the zombies use tactics or take cover, they're an Air Force pilot's wet dream.  A few FAEs or some white phosphorus would have absolutely destroyed them.  The book made a point of saying that the bodies kept decaying, and could be damaged.  I don't care how little pain they feel, all the skin and muscle burned off the bodies, or every bone smashed to bits means that the zombies won't be moving anywhere.  The Battle of Yonkers would have consisted of the Air Force dropping a shiat ton of ordinance, some arty units firing off their M777s, and then the grunts getting up in a line and walking through the mass of wrecked zombies, putting a round into every head they could find.


I think you, and many people who point out things like the above, seem to forget is that the failure wasn't one of military might in that battle, it was one of the soldiers and military industrial complex being so arrogant about how extremely easy it was going to be, they could have easily annihilated the zombie hoard, had they planned to just do so, but instead it was set up as a media circus that went wrong, and new technology was implemented in disastrous ways just to show it off that ended up causing panic and such.  The point isn't that the Zombies were invincible to conventional tactics, the point is that the military and media are arrogant and that caused the battle to be lost.
 
2013-05-13 12:09:39 PM  
When the first trailers came out, people were making jokes that the movie was going to be about the world's wildest orgy.  I'm still kind of hoping that will turn out to be true.
 
2013-05-13 12:12:56 PM  

Mad_Radhu: ShawnDoc: doglover: John Carter was a good movie, given the press.

No, no it wasn't.   It was a long drawn out movie about a guy who can jump far and had an alien dog for a pet.

I went into the movie wanting to like it, and thinking the critics just had a bug up their ass.  I was wrong, they were right.

An alien dog that looked like a penis with legs.

I saw it on Starz, and it was a bit of a mess. They didn't even try to make Mars not look like Utah, and the setup was way too long. Hell, even Bryan Cranston's awesomeness was wasted.


I've never seen the movie so I didn't know what the "dog" looked like but that description is pretty spot on.
 
2013-05-13 12:14:40 PM  
I saw John Carter last week.  Was surprisingly decent, actually.
 
2013-05-13 12:18:12 PM  
Holy smokes there appears to be a ton of studio shills in the comment section over at DH.  Gave up reading them.

I can't believe how stupid the studios are when they go ahead and start shooting a film without an ending.  Pretty expensive term paper mentality...
 
2013-05-13 12:22:53 PM  

ZeroCorpse: Words


This, ladies and gentlemen, is a man who masturbates to his own smugness.
 
2013-05-13 12:27:39 PM  

ShawnDoc: Mentat: The moment Damon Lindelof is called in to fix the script, it's doomed.

I'm curious, how did he got from writing a few TV episodes to being given so many high profile scripts?

Cowboys vs Aliens - Big budget flop, that should have been good.
Prometheus - I don't think this flopped at the box office, but almost all the hate is directed at the script and how dumb the characters were.

And yet somehow he gets:
Star Trek Into Darkness (Huge budget/hype movie)
World War Z (Which looks like its going to be a huge flop)
Tomorrowland (Which is going to be a high budget Disney film starring Clooney)


I'm fascinated by Hollywood's ability to repeat history.  As in:  get big name actors for a movie yet forget that you need a story that people will follow for the movie with big name actors to make money.  Then when said movie bombs, execs wonder "WHOA HOPPENED?!"; then decline to retrace the steps fearing that their name will come up as to why the movie bombed.
 
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