If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Huffington Post)   Headline: "Mother's Day Is Not All About You". Subby: It most certainly is all about the mother of my children if I ever want to have sex again   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 109
    More: Unlikely, Mother's Day  
•       •       •

4625 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 May 2013 at 9:14 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



109 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-05-12 09:17:01 AM
I once told my mom Mother's Day was all about guilt induced consumer spending.

Man, was she pissed at me. I blame Hallmark's mind control beam.
 
2013-05-12 09:21:32 AM
Mother's day is all about healthy flora and deliciousness.  In every form.
 
2013-05-12 09:24:10 AM
Another selfishly promoted holiday which does not think about those who may not have a reason to celebrate.

/R.I.P.
 
2013-05-12 09:25:08 AM
What does Mother's Day mean to me?

It means trying to find the only convenience store open the night before that still has anything resembling a gift.
 
2013-05-12 09:27:31 AM
You mean sex with the mother of your children, tardmitter.
 
2013-05-12 09:28:36 AM
First Mother's Day without me Mum....love ya, Mum...RIP

Mother is the name for God in the hearts and on the lips of all children....
 
2013-05-12 09:29:17 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: What does Mother's Day mean to me?

It means trying to find the only convenience store open the night before that still has anything resembling a gift.


There's a "your mom" joke in there somewhere...
 
2013-05-12 09:29:32 AM
Mother's Day is always a challenge for me.  I don't like it as a holiday because I don't have a mother (my mother was in and out of mental institutions for most of my childhood), and so my grandmother raised me... but she passed away when I was 20, and it's been a difficult holiday for me ever since.  I try to make it nice for my wife, but it's still a difficult day.

Glad to see I'm not so out of the ordinary with the today being a rough one.
 
2013-05-12 09:30:39 AM
Wasn't there once a time when mothers didn't demand public deification for their every action?
 
2013-05-12 09:33:06 AM
i159.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-12 09:34:05 AM
Sound like her husband sucks.  Why can't he dress the kids and clean the kitchen?  Mother's day is a nice breakfast, gifts and cards, then mom does whatever she wants.

/as if Father's Day gets half the attention
 
2013-05-12 09:34:44 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: What does Mother's Day mean to me?

It means trying to find the only convenience store open the night before that still has anything resembling a gift.


The night before? I am impressed. Stopping in a Shoppers on way to visit to pick up best of the worst card left.
 
2013-05-12 09:35:22 AM
Mother's Day - "Mother's ring" (gold ring with birthstones of the kids), expensive dinner, all day spent pampering the wife.

Father's Day - Receive my gifts of a shirt from my wife and a plastic trophy in the shape of a grill from the kids. Spend the day doing yard work.

I thought women were supposed to be the oppressed group.
 
2013-05-12 09:37:29 AM
And who is going to be stuck changing the water in that flower vase for the next several days?

What a burden.  I don't know how she carries on.
 
2013-05-12 09:37:31 AM

GameSprocket: Mother's Day - "Mother's ring" (gold ring with birthstones of the kids), expensive dinner, all day spent pampering the wife.

Father's Day - Receive my gifts of a shirt from my wife and a plastic trophy in the shape of a grill from the kids. Spend the day doing yard work.

I thought women were supposed to be the oppressed group.


Just the ugly ones.
 
2013-05-12 09:39:20 AM

FunkOut: I once told my mom Mother's Day was all about guilt induced consumer spending.


The woman who started it later fought against it, due to commercialization, and said she was sorry she started the thing in the first place.
 
2013-05-12 09:41:22 AM
"Mother's Day gives new meaning to the word motherf*cker. We're the ones getting f*cked."

I believe that's how you got into the situation you're in.

/ just like a self-absorb whiner to whine about something they created.
 
2013-05-12 09:42:16 AM
What a whiney P.O.S. article.
Ah yes, and Father's Day, when we are deluged with articles about how "Dads are important too!  Sort of...", and "Congrats Dad on not abandoning your family.  Yet."
 
2013-05-12 09:43:16 AM

GameSprocket: Mother's Day - "Mother's ring" (gold ring with birthstones of the kids), expensive dinner, all day spent pampering the wife.


This sounds like something gullible white American people with excess money do after actually believing advertising. Never heard of a "mother's ring".

You know, rings suck. They just are annoying pieces of metal that either get lost or get in the way or aggravate arthritis pain. If you really love someone you give them a nice multitool.
 
2013-05-12 09:47:11 AM

cwick: What a whiney P.O.S. article.
Ah yes, and Father's Day, when we are deluged with articles about how "Dads are important too!  Sort of...", and "Congrats Dad on not abandoning your family.  Yet."


"Dad : he appreciates that card you gave him with trout and hunting dogs on it even though he's lived his entire life in downtown Chicago and works as a janitor in a huge office building."
 
2013-05-12 09:47:16 AM
Happy Baby's Momma Day!
 
2013-05-12 09:48:20 AM
As a dad, I'd be perfectly happy if Fathers' Day disappeared. My birthday too. I'm nearly 40 FFS. My basement is filling up with junk I never use. I know they love me and I hate attention.

As for Mothers' Day, I'm not going to tell women how to feel about it but I can tell you that yes, my only motivation for buying her crap she thinks she needs is to keep tears at bay and to ensure I'll continue to get some. So DIAF Hallmark.
 
2013-05-12 09:49:30 AM
My husband is doing the dishes and cooking me breakfast. That's all I ever want. I love being a Mom, but the occasional break is nice. Even if you love your job, you still want a vacation.

This is also the first Mother's Day without my Mom, so there have been some tears shed this morning.
 
2013-05-12 09:50:26 AM
Man, that article. How can so much vitriol pour out over such a mundane issue? I mean whining about breakfast in bed prepared by children is about as unsympathetic as you can be.
 
2013-05-12 09:50:29 AM
Somehow, instead of a day spent lounging on the couch with our hands down our pants like our male counterparts on their day

Say what? In 9 years of Father's Days, I've never had one turn out like this. Sometimes I get a nap, if I remember to ask.

Mother's Day has turned into yet another day where we are expected to work our asses off.

Kwitcherfarkinbiatchin'.

/Stopped reading there.
 
2013-05-12 09:55:38 AM

nerftaig: Man, that article. How can so much vitriol pour out over such a mundane issue? I mean whining about breakfast in bed prepared by children is about as unsympathetic as you can be.


I try not to read blog posts/online articles. Most of them are whining or half finished thoughts that go nowhere. Or really farking inaccurate lists.
 
2013-05-12 09:56:53 AM

nerftaig: Man, that article. How can so much vitriol pour out over such a mundane issue? I mean whining about breakfast in bed prepared by children is about as unsympathetic as you can be.

Who didnt bother to clean up the farking mess they made in the process.
That is the problem, not the breakfast itself. It isn't a great gift if the kitchen is left in a state where it seems like a bomb went off. Any child that can prepare a simple breakfast knows how to clean the fark up after themselves.
 
2013-05-12 09:57:22 AM

FunkOut: GameSprocket: Mother's Day - "Mother's ring" (gold ring with birthstones of the kids), expensive dinner, all day spent pampering the wife.

This sounds like something gullible white American people with excess money do after actually believing advertising. Never heard of a "mother's ring".

You know, rings suck. They just are annoying pieces of metal that either get lost or get in the way or aggravate arthritis pain. If you really love someone you give them a nice multitool.


We got my Mom a mother's ring like 22-23 years ago. It wasn't that spendy. And if I remember correctly, she was buried wearing it.

Why a Mother's ring? Because she already had the only gun she wanted/needed and all the fishing tackle anyone could ever need.
 
2013-05-12 09:58:04 AM
I always have high hopes for Mother's Day. My wife loudly proclaims the night before that she's going to "sleep in really late" because she "earned it".
Because of this, I anticipate a nag-free morning, the concept of which makes me giddy with delight.

Unfortunately, the reality is that she'll be up soon after I am, grumpy, with her nag setting set to "full".

/Now if you'll excuse me, I have to leave. Apparently I put a bowl in the "wrong" cupboard last night when I did all of the dishes.
 
2013-05-12 09:58:45 AM

Earpj: My husband is doing the dishes and cooking me breakfast. That's all I ever want. I love being a Mom, but the occasional break is nice. Even if you love your job, you still want a vacation.

This is also the first Mother's Day without my Mom, so there have been some tears shed this morning.


*Hugs*
 
2013-05-12 10:01:27 AM
I'm guessing when this author isn't whining about, she's claiming that EVERY day should be Mothers Day.
 
2013-05-12 10:02:23 AM

LDM90: As a dad, I'd be perfectly happy if Fathers' Day disappeared. My birthday too. I'm nearly 40 FFS. My basement is filling up with junk I never use. I know they love me and I hate attention.


That's why you ask for bottles of booze.  If those start filling up your basement, drink faster!  I thoroughly believe in consumable gifts.
 
2013-05-12 10:04:22 AM

WhippingBoy: I always have high hopes for Mother's Day. My wife loudly proclaims the night before that she's going to "sleep in really late" because she "earned it".
Because of this, I anticipate a nag-free morning, the concept of which makes me giddy with delight.

Unfortunately, the reality is that she'll be up soon after I am, grumpy, with her nag setting set to "full".

/Now if you'll excuse me, I have to leave. Apparently I put a bowl in the "wrong" cupboard last night when I did all of the dishes.


You must have married my ex.
 
2013-05-12 10:06:32 AM
Outlaw Mothers and Fathers day and replace it with Parent 1, and Parent 2 days.
(If you weren't here yesterday, you won't get it.)
 
2013-05-12 10:08:42 AM

WhippingBoy: I always have high hopes for Mother's Day. My wife loudly proclaims the night before that she's going to "sleep in really late" because she "earned it".
Because of this, I anticipate a nag-free morning, the concept of which makes me giddy with delight.

Unfortunately, the reality is that she'll be up soon after I am, grumpy, with her nag setting set to "full".

/Now if you'll excuse me, I have to leave. Apparently I put a bowl in the "wrong" cupboard last night when I did all of the dishes.


Is the "I've earned it" or "I deserve it" line unique to women?

Sounds like an early demise would do you well...but that would probably suit the misses just fine as you probably have life insurance. Divorce being worse than death.
 
2013-05-12 10:09:10 AM

CruJones: Sound like her husband sucks.  Why can't he dress the kids and clean the kitchen?  Mother's day is a nice breakfast, gifts and cards, then mom does whatever she wants.

/as if Father's Day gets half the attention


Spot on
 
2013-05-12 10:09:38 AM

GameSprocket: Mother's Day - "Mother's ring" (gold ring with birthstones of the kids), expensive dinner, all day spent pampering the wife.

Father's Day - Receive my gifts of a shirt from my wife and a plastic trophy in the shape of a grill from the kids. Spend the day doing yard work.

I thought women were supposed to be the oppressed group.


Hubby goes on a 2 day golf trip with his dad every year for Father's Day and I spend Mother's Day finishing up the yard work and garden planting because he's at work so he can be home for said golf trip (he works out of town). I think I'm doing this wrong...
 
2013-05-12 10:11:53 AM

ruetheday69: nerftaig: Man, that article. How can so much vitriol pour out over such a mundane issue? I mean whining about breakfast in bed prepared by children is about as unsympathetic as you can be. Who didnt bother to clean up the farking mess they made in the process.
That is the problem, not the breakfast itself. It isn't a great gift if the kitchen is left in a state where it seems like a bomb went off. Any child that can prepare a simple breakfast knows how to clean the fark up after themselves.


But, all of the paper towel commercials I've seen show mom and the kids having a big laugh after the darlings fark up the kitchen.
 
2013-05-12 10:12:54 AM
Sometimes there is a wrong cupboard...I stored an open bag of Cheerios next to a giant open bag of cumin and now the Cheerios taste kind of like curry. Not sure how the open bag of cat treats is playing into this.
 
2013-05-12 10:13:41 AM

ramblinwreck: Is the "I've earned it" or "I deserve it" line unique to women?


I think so. It's the fundamental difference between men and women. Men do things they don't want to do out of duty, and don't expect reward or recognition. Women seem to only do things if there's something in it for them.
 
2013-05-12 10:13:45 AM
My mother is a crazy biatch. My wife and I have no children.

Enjoy your holiday.
 
2013-05-12 10:15:17 AM

Katolu: ruetheday69: nerftaig: Man, that article. How can so much vitriol pour out over such a mundane issue? I mean whining about breakfast in bed prepared by children is about as unsympathetic as you can be. Who didnt bother to clean up the farking mess they made in the process.
That is the problem, not the breakfast itself. It isn't a great gift if the kitchen is left in a state where it seems like a bomb went off. Any child that can prepare a simple breakfast knows how to clean the fark up after themselves.

But, all of the paper towel commercials I've seen show mom and the kids having a big laugh after the darlings fark up the kitchen.


I thought it was usually the incompetent middle-aged husband who always screwed things up.
 
2013-05-12 10:16:26 AM

WhippingBoy: Katolu: ruetheday69: nerftaig: Man, that article. How can so much vitriol pour out over such a mundane issue? I mean whining about breakfast in bed prepared by children is about as unsympathetic as you can be. Who didnt bother to clean up the farking mess they made in the process.
That is the problem, not the breakfast itself. It isn't a great gift if the kitchen is left in a state where it seems like a bomb went off. Any child that can prepare a simple breakfast knows how to clean the fark up after themselves.

But, all of the paper towel commercials I've seen show mom and the kids having a big laugh after the darlings fark up the kitchen.

I thought it was usually the incompetent middle-aged husband who always screwed things up.


No, sometimes he is hiding in the attic having sex with an old mannequin while the family is downstairs pouring juice on rugs and huffing nitrous.
 
2013-05-12 10:19:05 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: What does Mother's Day mean to me?

It means trying to find the only convenience store open the night before that still has anything resembling a gift.


A five gallon gas can is a perfectly acceptable gift.
 
2013-05-12 10:20:30 AM
Actually today is all about my daughter bonding with her soon to be stepmom.
 
2013-05-12 10:24:22 AM
For mother's day, I took the kid to Grandma's for the weekend while wife stayed home for some peace and quiet.
 
2013-05-12 10:27:11 AM

Katolu: But, all of the paper towel commercials I've seen show mom and the kids having a big laugh after the darlings fark up the kitchen.


Really? All the paper towel commercials I've seen show something like this:

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-12 10:28:02 AM
For mother's day, I got my my mom some Monkey Ass Hot Hellers Monkey Gland Sauce.

No really, that's what it's called.  http://www.hellers-monkeyglandsauce.com/

I get tired of putting ketchup on everything when I visit mom's house.
 
2013-05-12 10:28:18 AM

bikerific: For mother's day, I took the kid to Grandma's for the weekend while wife stayed home for some peace and quiet.


We were anything but peaceful and quiet while you were gone. Sorry about the bed spread.
 
2013-05-12 10:36:58 AM

Krieghund: Katolu: But, all of the paper towel commercials I've seen show mom and the kids having a big laugh after the darlings fark up the kitchen.

Really? All the paper towel commercials I've seen show something like this:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 205x212]


They don't show the part of the picture where the paper towel roll is hanging on his boner.
 
Displayed 50 of 109 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report