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(Fox News)   Four reasons you're not having sex. Strangely absent: You're a Farker   (magazine.foxnews.com) divider line 220
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16377 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 May 2013 at 6:13 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-11 07:38:28 PM  

teeny: mr teeny works out of town during the week and stays with his parents to avoid the 2 hour commute.  There is no sex during the week until we finish out our lease and move the family closer to his work.

The weekends, however, are suddenly as fun as hell because we get to make up for lost time. The kids think they've hit the jackpot because we're satisfied with them accomplishing only the most essential chores and then they're free to play outside all. day. long.


So your free during the week then?
 
2013-05-11 07:40:38 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: litespeed74: Is shyness a lame excuse?

I'm a normal dude, makes decent money, fit.  Just terrified of women for the most part.

Confidence is really all there is to it. Money, fitness, etc.. all factor in, but unless you approach a woman with confidence, it's probably not getting past small-talk.

I know losers with confidence who get better ass than relatively successful guys with no confidence.


I see the same thing. What I'd call losers with some pretty hot women.  Confidence is key. I am confident in most things but approaching women.
A few beers in me I do loosen up a bit but then I just sound like a drunk
 
2013-05-11 07:41:01 PM  
Strangely absent ... headache
 
2013-05-11 07:42:14 PM  
Speak for yourself subby.

/got some last night
//with a partner
 
2013-05-11 07:46:00 PM  

MattyBlast: I don't get any because I'm not in a relationship.

/match.com member
//eHarmony member
///constantly rejected
////not bad looking, so I'm at a loss as to why
///wish I were dead


Do you use that picture on the dating sites?

It might be just me, but it's a turn off when a guy has a picture of himself with a piece of your ex (like top of her head) cropped.

That tells me one thing....

You haven't been single long enough to get over your drama and ex, or you are too lazy to have a recent picture of yourself.
 
2013-05-11 07:46:04 PM  

gaslight: Low sexual experience correlates (understand correlates,) with high intelligence. Why? Well, if you're in the final two per cent sliver of the bell curve, that's your dating pool. It's already hard enough to find someone as it is. Additional filters reduce the odds of you getting any even more.


I have a high IQ but do not seek a woman with one too. I'm not saying I want her to be dumber than a bag of hammers but average IQ is fine by me. I hate the attitude of academics and if I went for my own IQ range thats what Id be looking at.

I went into a blue collar field and didnt go to college because I hate how academics act. Id love to have a Pol Pot style revolution where the academics are lined up against the wall and shot they are so annoying.
 
2013-05-11 07:52:40 PM  

litespeed74: Is shyness a lame excuse?

I'm a normal dude, makes decent money, fit.  Just terrified of women for the most part.


Awwww; how you doin'?


/likes the shy ones
//wuffle
///seriously, you just need nerdy girls, we love that
 
2013-05-11 07:53:18 PM  
I hate my body and genitals, so I generally have no interest in pursuing anyone.  Maybe if I could get them fixed, I wouldn't hate myself so much and actually want to live like a normal person.
 
2013-05-11 07:54:20 PM  
Sex advice from Fox News?
Maybe I can learn etiquette from a rapper next.
 
2013-05-11 07:55:45 PM  

MattyBlast: I don't get any because I'm not in a relationship.

/match.com member
//eHarmony member
///constantly rejected
////not bad looking, so I'm at a loss as to why
///wish I were dead


Being a tax accountant *might* have something to do with that...
 
2013-05-11 07:55:51 PM  

God-is-a-Taco: Sex advice from Fox News?
Maybe I can learn etiquette from a rapper next.


Hey some of those morning Foxes are hot

/Crazy maybe but...
 
2013-05-11 07:56:15 PM  

Myria: I hate my body and genitals, so I generally have no interest in pursuing anyone.  Maybe if I could get them fixed, I wouldn't hate myself so much and actually want to live like a normal person.


Hey- I think you're a cool gal. I know a few people in SoCal who are doing/considering the M to F thing. Hit me up (EIP) if you want me to put you in touch with them.
 
2013-05-11 07:57:29 PM  

Myria: I hate my body and genitals, so I generally have no interest in pursuing anyone.  Maybe if I could get them fixed, I wouldn't hate myself so much and actually want to live like a normal person.


Im guessing some manner of TG?
 
2013-05-11 08:00:51 PM  

TommyDeuce: I would but my Wisdom and Dexterity are both pretty low. I'd have a lousy AC.


I think i found the problem.

/keed, keed
//sorcerers are better for getting laid, Cha and all that
 
2013-05-11 08:01:09 PM  

litespeed74: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: litespeed74: Is shyness a lame excuse?

I'm a normal dude, makes decent money, fit.  Just terrified of women for the most part.

Confidence is really all there is to it. Money, fitness, etc.. all factor in, but unless you approach a woman with confidence, it's probably not getting past small-talk.

I know losers with confidence who get better ass than relatively successful guys with no confidence.

I see the same thing. What I'd call losers with some pretty hot women.  Confidence is key. I am confident in most things but approaching women.
A few beers in me I do loosen up a bit but then I just sound like a drunk


Now what I always wonder is what is considered confidence? I can talk to women with confidence, but it never leads anywhere. We have a great conversation for hours, laugh, have fun, but then I go for the second date the girl flakes or makes up excuses. All my friends say, "You got to have confidence!", but it just doesn't mean anything to me anymore.

Is it acting arrogant? Enthusiasm in what you are talking about? Bold moves like going in for a kiss? Witty remarks? How is acting confident defined by women?
 
2013-05-11 08:02:44 PM  
Clicked on a Fark site with a header saying: "Hot teacher or British woman" and killed my sex drive for another two weeks.
 
2013-05-11 08:03:57 PM  

teeny: mr teeny works out of town during the week and stays with his parents to avoid the 2 hour commute.  There is no sex during the week until we finish out our lease and move the family closer to his work.

The weekends, however, are suddenly as fun as hell because we get to make up for lost time. The kids think they've hit the jackpot because we're satisfied with them accomplishing only the most essential chores and then they're free to play outside all. day. long.


Similar thing here - been working contract 900 miles from home - wife and kids have been down 4 times, flew home once at Thanksgiving.  Good thing the kids are sound sleepers (they get air mattresses in the living room, they think they're camping).

/Close on a house in 2 weeks
//Will be farking glad when that's done
 
2013-05-11 08:04:42 PM  

Trayal: TommyDeuce: I would but my Wisdom and Dexterity are both pretty low. I'd have a lousy AC.

I think i found the problem.

/keed, keed
//sorcerers are better for getting laid, Cha and all that


How about a Paladin of a Goddess of Fertility?
 
2013-05-11 08:09:48 PM  

gaslight: Low sexual experience correlates (understand correlates,) with high intelligence. Why? Well, if you're in the final two per cent sliver of the bell curve, that's your dating pool. It's already hard enough to find someone as it is. Additional filters reduce the odds of you getting any even more.


I had heard this. I understand that, the more education a woman has the the more difficulty she has getting her "cookie".

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
 
2013-05-11 08:15:03 PM  

rohar: sotua: Bass player, married for ten years.

The reason I'm not getting as much as I'd like? Exhaustion, and a two year old baby who's the biggest cockblock in town.

/still, got properly laid on Friday morning. It's amazing how good sex when you aren't both on the brink of falling asleep like we've been doing for the past year or so.

Once you have kids, you gotta change the schedule.  Morning sex rocks!  The surprise 3:00am sex is the bomb especially after you've been sleeping since 9:00pm.


Amen to that. But lately we've been terribly exhausted (two kids, and we both work full time) so surprise 3am sex is a rarity. But agree 100% that it's completely awesome.
 
Oak
2013-05-11 08:16:43 PM  
I blame the multiple sclerosis.
 
2013-05-11 08:18:42 PM  

TommyDeuce: How about a Paladin of a Goddess of Fertility?


You know, I've just decided the next character I'm going to roll....  funny coincidence, that
 
2013-05-11 08:21:03 PM  
Females like confident men who can help support them.  Men who will take responsibility for their actions.  This disqualifies most liberals (farkers) sadly.
 
2013-05-11 08:21:25 PM  
These articles seem to appear about once every 2 months or so.
 
2013-05-11 08:25:34 PM  
Long-term relationships go through cycles. If you truly love each other, the sex will resume. In 37 years with my husband, we've never gone without sex longer than four weeks, and then only a couple of times, and we knew the reasons why (recovering from giving birth and after my husband lost both his parents and his job within a year).

But if you're only having sex once a *year*, there is something seriously wrong and you should seek help if you want to save your relationship, 'cause that shiat's not normal.
 
2013-05-11 08:27:36 PM  
Listen youngins'..... when you have your first child and you see that vagoo open nice and wide and tear right to the pucker and there's blood all over the damn place.... and she's screaming.... and pushing... and swearing at you for making her like this... and the doctor is yelling.... and there's more blood.... and good lord how can someone live after bleeding so damn much!

Well sex just isn't the same.
 
2013-05-11 08:31:54 PM  

ILoveBurritos: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus
I'm just gonna leave this here.

/and go cry in a corner.


Had a girlfriend with a version of that.  Said sex felt like someone sawing at her vag with a rusty knife.  Every once in a while it was ok and then the sex was great but over the course of several years it took it's toll on us.  Even though we didn't break up over sex, there were plenty of other things wrong, it was a factor.  Took me several years to get over the head trips that were implanted during that time.  Yuck.

Good luck to you, hope you've been able to find a doctor who recognizes that it's an actual physical problem, not something you made up in your head.  I'm sure you know that there are several online support groups.
 
2013-05-11 08:32:17 PM  

7th Son of a 7th Son: After my last breakup which was 2 years ago, (her and I were together for 5 years) I was so farking depressed until I realized what a horrible coont she was. Love really blinds you and makes you think someone's perfect and no matter what they do it's okay cause it will work itself out. Bullshiat. I flat out do not care if I find another girl or have another relationship. I'm fat (working on that, I've lost 70 lbs since the breakup, but still a fatty mcfatterson), and I'm apathetic to what most people think of me.

/CSB
//any chicks that dig metal and horror and want a teddy bear for a bf?
///just a shot in the dark...........one step away from you


I'm waaay too old for you but you do sound gorgeous to me, so the odds are someone else out there will think so too. I reckon you'll be fine.
 
2013-05-11 08:55:10 PM  
Your significant other evolved into someone you're no longer sexually attracted to.
 
2013-05-11 08:56:32 PM  
Is "my self esteem is far too low to attract a mate" on there?

Because that's why I'm not having sex.
 
2013-05-11 08:57:28 PM  

litespeed74: Is shyness a lame excuse?

I'm a normal dude, makes decent money, fit.  Just terrified of women for the most part.


What is there to fear?
 
2013-05-11 08:59:06 PM  
One thing I never understood is my ex girlfriend that told me, after 3 years together, that she couldn't stand me touching her anymore out of the blue moon, but she said it would pass. I knew this was a definite engraved marking in our relationship, which made me feeled dazed and confused, and a week after she jumped me like a deprived nympho, and all that I could muster was the thought "wTF?". I then confronted her and we broke up several days after. I had a hard time recuperating thinking that my indifference cause this, that we loved eachother but never at the same time, but after several years I realized that she wasn't worth torturing myself for.
I have now made a new rules: don't date women on anti-depressants, if dating a girl into cosplay make love to her in her homemade costumes as often as possible, and if ever you find someone special during your relationship you should break up with your current gf and move on.
/bitter.
 
2013-05-11 08:59:21 PM  

sotua: Exhaustion, and a two year old baby who's the biggest cockblock in town.


Wait until you have more than one kid...then the following stars have to align for the bow-chicka-bow to commence:

* both kids asleep
* both kids STAYING asleep
* both parents somehow not exhausted after doing whatever it took to get the kids to be tired enough that they'd stay asleep
* neither parent hacked off at some stupid shiat the other one did
* okay, amend that last one to: wife not hacked off at you because of something you did. Or didn't do. Or something that never happened anywhere outside the confines of her fevered imagination but is still your fault
* cats both asleep and not prowling, begging for food, vomiting on something, standing on you, etc.
* Aunt Flo's not in the house
* neither one of you have let yourself go to the point where you no longer want some of that
* the kids haven't brought home one of those virulent school plagues that lays you out flat for a week
 
2013-05-11 09:00:17 PM  

dopekitty74: MattyBlast: I don't get any because I'm not in a relationship.

/match.com member
//eHarmony member
///constantly rejected
////not bad looking, so I'm at a loss as to why
///wish I were dead

Being a tax accountant *might* have something to do with that...


You're the second person to say that. What am I supposed to do, quit my job and become a motorcycle mechanic or something?

I would think that a woman with a brain in her head would consider it a plus that a man is gainfully employed and making decent money.

But what the hell do I know...my dick hasn't gotten wet in years.
 
2013-05-11 09:01:37 PM  

rohar: titwrench: I'm calling bullshiat on all of you bass players claiming you're getting laid. Nobody shags the bass player.

Huh.  I know a bass player that does pretty well.

/she's my wife
//does that make me a groupie?


You know, I've heard a lot of names for the old guy, but I'd never heard it called a "bass".  Still, as long as the two of you have it worked out, have fun with it.

/Mrs Homely likes to refer to mine as Omar (the tentmaker).  Something about me lounging around in gym shorts...  :-D
 
2013-05-11 09:05:10 PM  

MattyBlast: dopekitty74: MattyBlast: I don't get any because I'm not in a relationship.

/match.com member
//eHarmony member
///constantly rejected
////not bad looking, so I'm at a loss as to why
///wish I were dead

Being a tax accountant *might* have something to do with that...

You're the second person to say that. What am I supposed to do, quit my job and become a motorcycle mechanic or something?

I would think that a woman with a brain in her head would consider it a plus that a man is gainfully employed and making decent money.

But what the hell do I know...my dick hasn't gotten wet in years.


The last woman I dated dumped me (but let's still be friends, ok, because blah blah blah)  for a an unemployed guy with no prospects.  I know I am not handsome, but that made me feel hideous.
 
2013-05-11 09:05:26 PM  

Nidiot: 7th Son of a 7th Son: After my last breakup which was 2 years ago, (her and I were together for 5 years) I was so farking depressed until I realized what a horrible coont she was. Love really blinds you and makes you think someone's perfect and no matter what they do it's okay cause it will work itself out. Bullshiat. I flat out do not care if I find another girl or have another relationship. I'm fat (working on that, I've lost 70 lbs since the breakup, but still a fatty mcfatterson), and I'm apathetic to what most people think of me.

/CSB
//any chicks that dig metal and horror and want a teddy bear for a bf?
///just a shot in the dark...........one step away from you

I'm waaay too old for you but you do sound gorgeous to me, so the odds are someone else out there will think so too. I reckon you'll be fine.


Awwww, why thank you. :)
 
2013-05-11 09:06:03 PM  

MattyBlast: dopekitty74: MattyBlast: I don't get any because I'm not in a relationship.

/match.com member
//eHarmony member
///constantly rejected
////not bad looking, so I'm at a loss as to why
///wish I were dead

Being a tax accountant *might* have something to do with that...

You're the second person to say that. What am I supposed to do, quit my job and become a motorcycle mechanic or something?

I would think that a woman with a brain in her head would consider it a plus that a man is gainfully employed and making decent money.

But what the hell do I know...my dick hasn't gotten wet in years.


Having a motorcycle was actually the swing factor that got me the first date with the Mrs, but changing careers isn't always necessary.  (I'm an engineer, so I can relate.)
 
2013-05-11 09:06:10 PM  
Ah, look at all the bass players come out of the woodwork!

Not strong enough rhythmically to hold the band together, and yet lacking the sense of melody to play a lead instrument.

Don't get mad, oh man, where are you going?

Never mind, we got you covered with a pitch-shifted track or the keyboard player's left hand...
 
2013-05-11 09:07:33 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: litespeed74: Is shyness a lame excuse?

I'm a normal dude, makes decent money, fit.  Just terrified of women for the most part.

Confidence is really all there is to it. Money, fitness, etc.. all factor in, but unless you approach a woman with confidence, it's probably not getting past small-talk.

I know losers with confidence who get better ass than relatively successful guys with no confidence.


Despite being emotionally crippled inside (majorly), I've somehow managed the art of fake confidence. I often wonder if it borders on obnoxious machismo but even if it does, those are the guys who get laid. You know it. I know it. Alpha males take home the strange.

It can backfire, however, once one of your f*ck buddies accidentally becomes a serious girlfriend. Then she sees you crying in your Cheerios on a random Wednesday morning and wonders where that confident guy went.
 
2013-05-11 09:12:32 PM  
A wise man, on this very site, advised to marry anyone with whom you have a long-term relationship as long as you have terrific sex. Even if hobbies and interests differred, those things could be done without wifey, but the intimate stuff was reserved to the wife.
A real guru I bow to, but this does not seem to make sense in the women's psyche...
 
2013-05-11 09:16:46 PM  
I know losers with confidence who get better ass than relatively successful guys with no confidence.

Then she sees you crying in your Cheerios on a random Wednesday morning and wonders where that confident guy went.

If the masculine implies the feminine, I am one of you.
 
2013-05-11 09:19:30 PM  

Trayal: TommyDeuce: How about a Paladin of a Goddess of Fertility?

You know, I've just decided the next character I'm going to roll....  funny coincidence, that


Me too.  Well, I'm probably DMing, so they might be a memorable NPC

/Not a killer DM
//But VERY Evil
 
2013-05-11 09:19:35 PM  
Honest Question:

Any Farkettes (or Farkers) care to answer:

How can a man approach a random woman in an everyday setting without being creepy?  For example, pretend I was just grocery shopping and saw a random hottie.  She had no ring.  Is there even a way to approach someone in such a random situation?

I am not talking about the bar type scene where you might see "regulars".  I am talking about encountering random people whom you may never again have a chance to ask.
 
2013-05-11 09:23:51 PM  

TommyDeuce: Trayal: TommyDeuce: How about a Paladin of a Goddess of Fertility?

You know, I've just decided the next character I'm going to roll....  funny coincidence, that

Me too.  Well, I'm probably DMing, so they might be a memorable NPC

/Not a killer DM
//But VERY Evil


Halfling Paladin, in service to Chaunta, Mount is a bad-tempered Billy-Goat, weapons include sickle and pitch-fork.

/Plus he's rather randy (or she)
//But being LG, feels guilty about it a lot
///Holy act of sewing oats?
//Gonna be a long 2 weeks
 
2013-05-11 09:24:53 PM  
stryed

if ever you find someone special during your relationship you should break up with your current gf and move on.

That's some good advice right there.

/ If you're with the right one, you won't even notice anyone else.
 
2013-05-11 09:28:58 PM  

MBA Whore: Honest Question:

Any Farkettes (or Farkers) care to answer:

How can a man approach a random woman in an everyday setting without being creepy?  For example, pretend I was just grocery shopping and saw a random hottie.  She had no ring.  Is there even a way to approach someone in such a random situation?

I am not talking about the bar type scene where you might see "regulars".  I am talking about encountering random people whom you may never again have a chance to ask.


i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-11 09:29:47 PM  

studebaker hoch: stryed

if ever you find someone special during your relationship you should break up with your current gf and move on.

That's some good advice right there.

/ If you're with the right one, you won't even notice anyone else.


This is true. People don't believe it, but it is true. Once you find The One, everyone else becomes background noise.
 
2013-05-11 09:30:16 PM  
When The Sex Stops in a Relationship

well there's the problem
 
2013-05-11 09:33:03 PM  

MattyBlast: dopekitty74: MattyBlast: I don't get any because I'm not in a relationship.

/match.com member
//eHarmony member
///constantly rejected
////not bad looking, so I'm at a loss as to why
///wish I were dead

Being a tax accountant *might* have something to do with that...

You're the second person to say that. What am I supposed to do, quit my job and become a motorcycle mechanic or something?

I would think that a woman with a brain in her head would consider it a plus that a man is gainfully employed and making decent money.

But what the hell do I know...my dick hasn't gotten wet in years.


in NYC, being an accountant isn't enough to get any from women concerned about salary.
lying about such matters is much harder in the age of linkedin.
 
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