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(Buzzfeed)   The twenty-one most common lies told on a first date   ( divider line
    More: PSA  
•       •       •

19649 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 May 2013 at 1:29 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-05-11 01:29:58 AM  
"It's just a cold sore."
2013-05-11 01:30:18 AM  
2013-05-11 01:31:17 AM  
"I'm not gay."
2013-05-11 01:32:57 AM  
"No, I didn't put anything in your drink."
2013-05-11 01:33:06 AM  
"Ever since I disarmed that grenade in Iraq, that spot on my ring finger won't tan."
2013-05-11 01:33:16 AM  
I never click on Buzzfeed links.
2013-05-11 01:33:22 AM  
The sheep are liars.
2013-05-11 01:33:30 AM  
"buzzfeed isn't a pile of shiat"
2013-05-11 01:34:30 AM  
You look good.
2013-05-11 01:35:14 AM  
"I never do this on a first date"
2013-05-11 01:35:34 AM  
Just the tip.
2013-05-11 01:37:21 AM  
This one girl told me she " never go down unless it's with her man" WTF
/Was her man for 20 minutes that night
2013-05-11 01:37:27 AM  
(Featured sexual partner)
2013-05-11 01:37:47 AM  
"But seriously. Just get to know me. Then you'll understand"
2013-05-11 01:39:08 AM  
"Sexual hang-ups? No...not really."
2013-05-11 01:39:35 AM  
My physician assures me the ointment is relatively effective.
2013-05-11 01:39:56 AM  
Sorry, I thought that was your vagina.
2013-05-11 01:40:11 AM  
22) I won't leave with someone else

2013-05-11 01:40:41 AM  
"I don't know how all this blood got inside my car."
2013-05-11 01:43:50 AM  
"My Mercedes is in the shop."
2013-05-11 01:43:51 AM  
"You're really mature for 16."
2013-05-11 01:46:00 AM  

gingerjet: "I'm not gay."

Or "I'm gay."
2013-05-11 01:46:07 AM  
I totally brought my wallet with me.
2013-05-11 01:47:04 AM  
I actually am reading Nietzsche, so I'm getting a kick...

2013-05-11 01:48:33 AM  
I'm self-employed.

/I just decided to give me a really long sabbatical.
2013-05-11 01:48:37 AM  
"No, I haven't seen (insert lame chick flick title), let's watch it"
2013-05-11 01:51:06 AM  
"Oh, I definitely plan on finishing school."
2013-05-11 01:53:51 AM  

rikdanger: "I don't know how all this blood got inside my car."

+1 for first lol of the thread.
2013-05-11 01:55:03 AM  
I swear I didn't know you were a trannie
2013-05-11 01:56:38 AM  
Nah, I barely touch the stuff.
2013-05-11 01:58:12 AM  
"I'm an aspiring [anything]."

"I'm a really [any positive attribute] person.

"Yes, I do think this BuzzFeed link is an excellent source of informative entertainment, and I have greened it with no consideration of financial compensation whatsoever."
2013-05-11 02:02:07 AM  
"I'm not a sex freak."
2013-05-11 02:02:11 AM  
I've never done this kind of thing before
2013-05-11 02:03:40 AM  
"Don't worry, it isn't contagious!"

"No, silly, I'm not wearing your dead cat for a hair piece!"

"Oh, they totally found all seven of my ex's that disappeared in bizarre circumstances."

"Hey, my mom lives with me"

"You know, you're right. This isn't weird at all grandma!"

"Oh, the sex offender registry, yeah, the guy who lived here before me is the reason my address is on it."

"Wow, those people who,have sex with armadillos sure are strange aren't they?"
2013-05-11 02:04:09 AM  
9 inches
2013-05-11 02:04:44 AM  
8 inches
2013-05-11 02:05:29 AM  
7 inches
2013-05-11 02:05:42 AM  
Usually 6-7 inches.
2013-05-11 02:06:43 AM  
5 inches but its thick
2013-05-11 02:07:10 AM  
"No, I love anal."
2013-05-11 02:07:57 AM  

cardex: 5 inches but its thick

Dunno, never thought to measure it.
2013-05-11 02:08:01 AM  
"Well, not every time."
2013-05-11 02:08:33 AM  
Nietzsche is cool and all, but if you really want to impress a date with your imaginary reading material you should say that your favorite book is Georges Bataille's Story of the Eye. Should your date respond positively to this statement, then you know you're about to have a very interesting time.
2013-05-11 02:08:39 AM  
"I'm so glad I found an older woman. I can't wait to get you out of those depends after we finish watching Wheel Of Fortune and eating hard candies!"

"OMG, your parents totally don't understand you!"

"Neigh neigh neigh" (what, the horse doesn't speak English anyway)
2013-05-11 02:08:42 AM  
I've never been fisted before
2013-05-11 02:09:40 AM  
"I bathe regularly."
2013-05-11 02:09:50 AM  
That's cool, I *love* kids!
2013-05-11 02:11:00 AM  
"I'm real laid back."
2013-05-11 02:11:30 AM  
"Oh, that screaming sound from the basement? It's just the water heater. I have all those locks on the door so people don't go down there and get hurt."
2013-05-11 02:12:23 AM  
"Why yes, I am a woman!"
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