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(Slate)   Slate: Making kids play team sports in PE is neither healthy nor educational, uses as an example: dodgeball, probably the most sociopathic "team sport" of them all   (slate.com) divider line 328
    More: Stupid, Kid 'n Play, J.V. Junior High School, physical education, nature documentary, nature programme, sick comedy, Loughborough University, educations  
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4957 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 May 2013 at 12:55 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-10 10:58:14 AM  
This author is like my friend who says that even watching sports and enjoying it is unhealthy. Whatever, dude.
 
2013-05-10 11:04:35 AM  
when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.
 
2013-05-10 11:06:43 AM  

AngryPanda: This author is like my friend who says that even watching sports and enjoying it is unhealthy. Whatever, dude.


I no longer enjoy football. Whenever I see 250 lbs. men run into in each other head first all I can think about are the brain injuries that are going to cripple them down the road.

I only still watch it due to my gambling addiction.
 
2013-05-10 11:09:04 AM  
You mean the most awesome team sport of all.
 
2013-05-10 11:17:09 AM  
The author is a Portland hipster biatch.

Move along, nothing to see here.
 
2013-05-10 11:18:52 AM  
Here's some more of Jessica Olien's "work" in case you hate yourself.
 
2013-05-10 11:19:20 AM  
Team, as in "everyone target the fat, shy kid hiding in the corner so we can start a new game"
 
2013-05-10 11:23:07 AM  
I bet she dodges balls.
 
2013-05-10 11:23:12 AM  
I sucked at team sports, but I loved dodgeball.

Kickball can go fark itself.
 
2013-05-10 11:42:50 AM  

impaler: I sucked at team sports, but I loved dodgeball.

Kickball can go fark itself.


Same here. We lived for it. We had 3 PE periods a week, and if we were really good, we got to play dodge ball on Friday.
 
2013-05-10 11:44:10 AM  

ManateeGag: when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.


We played with tennis balls too. Nowadays I think they'd call in grief counselors to share our feelings about some of the bruising we took.

I brought this up in a conversation with a group of my old high school classmates last year. The catalyst was this article. Now, most of my classmates' kids are getting into the late teen age range but there are still a few who started late. My question was when did we become such shiatty parents where we were so overly concerned about our kids and why? When we were growing up, many of our Fathers were WWII and/or Korea vets. We were all but expected to get into fights, (get caught fighting in school you'd get hauled to the gym, put on gloves and headgear and duke it out until tired then get a swat or two and sent to class), get cuts and scrapes, break a bone or two and into mischief. You might get your ass kicked, some stitches, wince at Bactine's sting or wear a cast for a couple of months but it was all part of growing up. A standard reply when you thought you were wronged was 'life's not fair'.

I'm stunned at how parents (when they have parents but that's a whole 'nuther conversation) act towards their kids today. Everyone's a winner, there are no losers, call the cops when a couple of 13 year olds squab on the ball field after school...These parents are in their late 30s to late 40s...just about my age and down. What made them such pussies?
 
2013-05-10 11:48:22 AM  
As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"
 
2013-05-10 11:52:24 AM  
So, her whole argument is "I sucked at sports, so sports suck"?

I'm only moderately athletic, rowed crew in college but wasn't brilliant at it, etc. and know that my natural talents lie more in intellectual activities and so that's probably why I worked on them more, but where do you get the ego to think intellectual gifts are intrinsically better than physical?

The sheer chutzpah of acting like kids who are born 'smarter' are somehow better than kids who are born more 'athletic' is just insane, as if the two are somehow opposite ends of a spectrum.  They're completely distinct characteristics.  Kids should be praised for either or both, teaching them to love what they can do well so that they'll work to improve those things and hopefully achieve good or great things.  Telling athletic kids that they suck because they aren't smart enough is no better than telling smart kids they suck because they're not athletic enough.
 
2013-05-10 11:55:05 AM  

PowerSlacker: The author is a Portland hipster biatch.

Move along, nothing to see here.


Well, the dream of the 90s is alive in Portland.
 
2013-05-10 11:55:38 AM  

impaler: I sucked at team sports, but I loved dodgeball.

Kickball can go fark itself.


Ahh, reminds me of the days of wallball where 1/2 the class were always sporting racquet ball sized briuses. In those days, the teachers would just roll thier eyes at us.  I am sure that game is no longer allowed.
 
2013-05-10 11:57:46 AM  

I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"


Murder Ball was one variety of Dodge Ball, which (the way we played it) involved everybody trying to nail a person who was tagged "it." It was not usually officially sanctioned by the gym teachers, although I don't recall them ever stopping us from playing it during free time. There was also Prison Dodgeball (where team members were "taken prisoner" after being hit and could be freed to rejoin your team in what basically amounted to hostage exchanges); Pin Dodgeball (basic dodgeball with the addition of bowling that had to be protected by your team; if the pins were all knocked down, you lost, so the basic strategy was to stand your weakest players in front of the pins as human shields and do what you could to protect them from being nailed); Quad Dodge (a four-way dodgeball game where you were under threat from all sides); and many others. I loved them all.
 
2013-05-10 11:59:22 AM  
I think Wallball is more sociopath. They made us stand against a brick wall and other kids would throw balls as hard as they could at us. Nowhere to run cause you're against a wall.
 
2013-05-10 11:59:30 AM  
Sure, ban all of the sports in gym, but then complain that kids are fat. Team sports are sometimes the only fun part of gym. ESPECIALLY dodgeball, one of the only games I was any good at.
 
2013-05-10 12:05:33 PM  
You know, life is a little hard and a little scary at times.  If at 15 you can't handle the idea of someone throwing a soft rubber ball at you then you've got some toughening up to do.

I will say this though.  Athletes (as in currently enrolled in a sport) should not take gym.  There's a huge competitive gap between them and the general non-athlete student populace.  It hampers the athletes' experience and is unfair to the non-athletes.
 
2013-05-10 12:05:44 PM  
Dodge ball was a blast, even when I was the underclassman.  Throw that ball, asshole, I'll catch it.

/when you got to be the upperclassman, you gave the underclassman a pounding they deserved.
 
2013-05-10 12:09:07 PM  
I always viewed dodgeball as the one sport in which the weaklings could get back at the bullies for tormenting them the rest of the school day.
 
2013-05-10 12:10:19 PM  

AngryPanda: PowerSlacker: The author is a Portland hipster biatch.

Move along, nothing to see here.

Well, the dream of the 90s is alive in Portland.



b.vimeocdn.com

Yes, yes it is.
 
2013-05-10 12:12:44 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

Murder Ball was one variety of Dodge Ball, which (the way we played it) involved everybody trying to nail a person who was tagged "it." It was not usually officially sanctioned by the gym teachers, although I don't recall them ever stopping us from playing it during free time. There was also Prison Dodgeball (where team members were "taken prisoner" after being hit and could be freed to rejoin your team in what basically amounted to hostage exchanges); Pin Dodgeball (basic dodgeball with the addition of bowling that had to be protected by your team; if the pins were all knocked down, you lost, so the basic strategy was to stand your weakest players in front of the pins as human shields and do what you could to protect them from being nailed); Quad Dodge (a four-way dodgeball game where you were under threat from all sides); and many others. I loved them all.


My high school gym had an upper balcony area, and we played sniper dodgeball - one person from each team could walk the perimeter and target people, but could only get more balls if they were tossed up to them. The sniper could only get out if you hit them from the floor (which was one hell of a throw). Common strategy was to target the people who could toss the ball up and basically starve the sniper.
 
2013-05-10 12:24:43 PM  
Ah, that time of year again...the recycling of the "Dodgeball is THE DEBIL" stories.

Dodgeball was fun....and we're raising a generation of pussies that when the going gets tough, they can't adapt or tolerate disappointment.  Besides, the geeks that got their asses handed to them in dodgeball are the ones making all the cash now.
 
2013-05-10 12:33:13 PM  
I used to dismiss the "pussification of America" crowd as codgers and internet tough guys, but articles like this are making it harder and harder not to agree with them.

It is un-f*cking-believable what blubbering, effort-averse weaklings this country is producing.
 
2013-05-10 12:39:29 PM  
I liked Dodgeball.  I couldn't throw too well, but nobody could ever hit me.
 
2013-05-10 12:42:21 PM  
Sports suck but dodgeball is not a team sport. Sometimes there's a line on the floor, but that does not mean there are teams.
 
2013-05-10 12:42:26 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: ManateeGag: when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.

We played with tennis balls too. Nowadays I think they'd call in grief counselors to share our feelings about some of the bruising we took.

I brought this up in a conversation with a group of my old high school classmates last year. The catalyst was this article. Now, most of my classmates' kids are getting into the late teen age range but there are still a few who started late. My question was when did we become such shiatty parents where we were so overly concerned about our kids and why?


I'm almost 40. When I was a kid in the summertime, I would basically disappear, every day, between 8 AM and 10 PM, going pretty much anywhere I wanted to and I'd come home dirty, injured, and exhausted. Every day.

Now, my nieces and nephews are never, ever more than 10 feet away from their parents and are never outside. Whenever one of them somehow wanders away from their invisible umbilical cord, their parents are practically on the phone to the police.
I don't understand what happened either.
 
2013-05-10 12:51:08 PM  

moothemagiccow: Sports suck but dodgeball is not a team sport. Sometimes there's a line on the floor, but that does not mean there are teams.


Yep, we played last man standing.
 
2013-05-10 12:53:11 PM  

sigdiamond2000: I'm almost 40. When I was a kid in the summertime, I would basically disappear, every day, between 8 AM and 10 PM, going pretty much anywhere I wanted to and I'd come home dirty, injured, and exhausted. Every day


Heh. An when we got grounded those that were free to roam hung out at the arrestee's house until we drove his parent (usually stay at home Mom) crazy and we'd ALL get chucked including the offender. This was one of our hangouts. We would roam "the woods" as we called it and there were all kinds of scary things there...Snakes, turtles, poison ivy, hippies smoking weed or engaging in other..ahem...activities (wink wink nudge nudge). We built a ramp at the bottom of a steep  where we would jump our bikes with increasing courage. I can remember having to help at least two friends out with broken arms...The LAST thing we wanted to do was get stuck inside.
 
2013-05-10 12:53:42 PM  

basemetal: moothemagiccow: Sports suck but dodgeball is not a team sport. Sometimes there's a line on the floor, but that does not mean there are teams.

Yep, we played last man standing.


Although I guess there were times when we would have 2-3 guys left on one side of the court, so I guess it was sort of a team sport, but we pretty much played every man for himself.
 
2013-05-10 12:55:43 PM  
i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-05-10 12:57:51 PM  
i4.ytimg.com
 
2013-05-10 12:59:14 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"


"Poison ball," a tennis ball in a sock with the end tied off.
 
2013-05-10 01:00:15 PM  
I really hated dodgeball as a kid.  But hey, it's part of childhood life like crashing your bicycle, that one week of chicken pox, doing chores, bullies, cold showers after swimming, being dragged to church every Sunday and other assorted items.

Kids got to learn life ain't Candyland and Christmas everyday.
 
2013-05-10 01:00:36 PM  
We used to play backboard dodgeball with the softer non-life-threatening balls.  Everyone love the hell out of it.
 
2013-05-10 01:01:01 PM  

AngryPanda: This author is like my friend who says that even watching sports and enjoying it is unhealthy. Whatever, dude.


Watching sports is unhealthy. Playing them, of course, is definitely healthy.
 
2013-05-10 01:01:09 PM  

Hoban Washburne: You know, life is a little hard and a little scary at times.  If at 15 you can't handle the idea of someone throwing a soft rubber ball at you then you've got some toughening up to do.

I will say this though.  Athletes (as in currently enrolled in a sport) should not take gym.  There's a huge competitive gap between them and the general non-athlete student populace.  It hampers the athletes' experience and is unfair to the non-athletes.


Came here to say THIS. Take the athletes out of the equation and gym is fun for everyone remaining, or at least tolerable. And why should athletes out for a sport be in gym class? What a waste of time for them. It's a win/win situation for everyone if you exempt athletes, and it encourages kids to go out for a sport so they can get out of stupid gym class.
 
2013-05-10 01:02:29 PM  
I played dodgeball for the first time when I was 30 (two years ago).

It is without a doubt the most fun I have ever had playing sports. My fat teammates had fun too. There is this unspoken loyalty in every team. The athletic dudes protect the slow pokes and some even sacrifice themselves to expose the adversaries.

I say we need more dodgeball in schools.

/serious
 
2013-05-10 01:02:35 PM  
Screw sport.
Teach them Judo in elementary school and give classes in yoga, too.
Let them learn Aikido in Middle school and Kungfu in highschool. Also teach logic.
Of course, the GOP doesn't want people who can disarm an asshole with a box cutter and can see through a bullshait reason to tax people to vote, so that will never happen.
 
2013-05-10 01:03:28 PM  
I was the furthest thing from sporty when I was in school, but I liked playing nonsense things like flag football and kickball and yes, even the occasional dodgeball. Human interaction is a good thing.
 
2013-05-10 01:04:04 PM  
Ironically enough, dodgeball is actually really good exercise.  I played in a league over the winter and by the end of each 30 minute game, particularly if you play without breaks, you're really tired.
 
2013-05-10 01:04:36 PM  

ManateeGag: when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.


exactly.  I was a bullied , un popular kid in 8th grade, but I farking LOVED dodgeball.  Of course I was the first one everyone threw at but I was extremely nimble and flexible for a fat kid, so they'd throw and throw, missing me time and again while I got to laugh at them and occassionaly catch the ball and peg one of them square in the head.  Yes it was all sick and sad, but very cathartic too
 
2013-05-10 01:05:04 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"


They called it, "smear the queer (with the ball)" when I was a kid. I have no idea why: none of us knew what a queer was.
 
2013-05-10 01:05:58 PM  

Aarontology: You mean the most awesome team sport of all.


This.  When I was in school and we played soccum (what we called dodgeball) I had permission to go play with the boys, since the girls were such wimps.
 
2013-05-10 01:06:10 PM  
Sissy "I wanted to play team sports but sucked so no one else should be allowed to play them either"
 
2013-05-10 01:06:15 PM  
In anticipation, as each summer waned, I'd do drills in my backyard. I'd practice dribbling balls, swinging rackets, serving volleyballs over a tree branch.

That is the oddest assortment of euphemisms I have ever seen.
 
2013-05-10 01:06:26 PM  
What's weird is,though I was definitely an outcast at school, I nonetheless loved dodgeball because it was a way to practice running away in a quasi-controlled environment.
 
2013-05-10 01:06:43 PM  

impaler: I sucked at team sports, but I loved dodgeball.

Kickball can go fark itself.


I'll date myself right off.  We did "red rover" in PE. I loved it.  Being a fairly stocky farm girl that was carrying 75lb bales of straw at around 12 years old, I had the hand strength and footing to hang on to the wimpy chicks hands next to me and NO ONE got through.

I was ok in dodgeball and volleyball, but not great.
 
2013-05-10 01:07:28 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: ManateeGag: when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.

We played with tennis balls too. Nowadays I think they'd call in grief counselors to share our feelings about some of the bruising we took.

I brought this up in a conversation with a group of my old high school classmates last year. The catalyst was this article. Now, most of my classmates' kids are getting into the late teen age range but there are still a few who started late. My question was when did we become such shiatty parents where we were so overly concerned about our kids and why? When we were growing up, many of our Fathers were WWII and/or Korea vets. We were all but expected to get into fights, (get caught fighting in school you'd get hauled to the gym, put on gloves and headgear and duke it out until tired then get a swat or two and sent to class), get cuts and scrapes, break a bone or two and into mischief. You might get your ass kicked, some stitches, wince at Bactine's sting or wear a cast for a couple of months but it was all part of growing up. A standard reply when you thought you were wronged was 'life's not fair'.

I'm stunned at how parents (when they have parents but that's a whole 'nuther conversation) act towards their kids today. Everyone's a winner, there are no losers, call the cops when a couple of 13 year olds squab on the ball field after school...These parents are in their late 30s to late 40s...just about my age and down. What made them such pussies?


I'm not sure but I know what your saying. I graduated in 1995 and we still lived by the old rules but they were changing quickly. If there was a fight it was usually taken to a nearby road after school. It was out in the sticks so no one was every around. Everyone would go out there and the two kids would square up and duke it out. It was a fair fight and we regulated the rules. No weapons, no jumping in, if the kid was down of done fighting the fight was over. No one ever broke those rules. I'm pretty sure now a days we would all be arrested or suspended for that kind of thing. My dad was a teacher at the school and said that things have radically changed since I left. As he put it the lunatics have taken over the asylum. The parents don't care, and the kids don't show much respect to the teachers. But something made these same parents that grew up the way we did change. Maybe this way is better. Maybe we are just the old curmudgeons that are stuck in the ways of the past.

But we were also a small farm town so we grew up differently that a lot of kids.
 
2013-05-10 01:07:40 PM  

NutWrench: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

They called it, "smear the queer (with the ball)" when I was a kid. I have no idea why: none of us knew what a queer was.


See for us, "smear the queer" was basically "group + 1 rugby" - the entire group would try and tackle the person with the ball, until they gave up, and threw it up in the air, for everyone to try and get. You could also get tackled if you gave up too easily, or didn't try to get the free ball hard enough.

(northern MD, 1980s)
 
2013-05-10 01:07:53 PM  
Oh, crybabies. I got pegged right in the head with a dodgeball by a much larger and stronger classmate at point-plank rngee and\=
 osnthsa-zcdr-4ghzTt15/-8f8r-vn92/0=
g.luchtao-nisal+4

Thank you senator, good to meet you as well. Say hello to your lovely wife for me.
 
2013-05-10 01:08:24 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Pocket Ninja: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

Murder Ball was one variety of Dodge Ball, which (the way we played it) involved everybody trying to nail a person who was tagged "it." It was not usually officially sanctioned by the gym teachers, although I don't recall them ever stopping us from playing it during free time. There was also Prison Dodgeball (where team members were "taken prisoner" after being hit and could be freed to rejoin your team in what basically amounted to hostage exchanges); Pin Dodgeball (basic dodgeball with the addition of bowling that had to be protected by your team; if the pins were all knocked down, you lost, so the basic strategy was to stand your weakest players in front of the pins as human shields and do what you could to protect them from being nailed); Quad Dodge (a four-way dodgeball game where you were under threat from all sides); and many others. I loved them all.

My high school gym had an upper balcony area, and we played sniper dodgeball - one person from each team could walk the perimeter and target people, but could only get more balls if they were tossed up to them. The sniper could only get out if you hit them from the floor (which was one hell of a throw). Common strategy was to target the people who could toss the ball up and basically starve the sniper.


That sounds awesome.

We played medic ball. Each team had two medics that wore a mesh shirt. when you got hit, you would sit where you got hit. A medic could come over and drag you back behind the line and you were in the game again. So you would target their medics, because once you get both medics, no one can get back in. And in turn you would try to protect your medics.

it added some strategy.
 
2013-05-10 01:08:31 PM  

AngryPanda: This author is like my friend who says that even watching sports and enjoying it is unhealthy. Whatever, dude.

just a pussy.

FTFY
 
2013-05-10 01:08:49 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-10 01:08:54 PM  

Christian Bale: Hoban Washburne: You know, life is a little hard and a little scary at times.  If at 15 you can't handle the idea of someone throwing a soft rubber ball at you then you've got some toughening up to do.

I will say this though.  Athletes (as in currently enrolled in a sport) should not take gym.  There's a huge competitive gap between them and the general non-athlete student populace.  It hampers the athletes' experience and is unfair to the non-athletes.

Came here to say THIS. Take the athletes out of the equation and gym is fun for everyone remaining, or at least tolerable. And why should athletes out for a sport be in gym class? What a waste of time for them. It's a win/win situation for everyone if you exempt athletes, and it encourages kids to go out for a sport so they can get out of stupid gym class.


In my high school, we were only required to take PE freshman year and then after that it was optional Advanced PE.  Well it was mostly people from football, baseball, basketball, but a few kids that weren't on teams also.  We weren't allowed to play any sport that was one of the sanctioned team sports (would count as extra practice time) so it was a weight lifting class 3-4 days a week with a free day wednesday and friday.  We played dodgeball, floor hockey, and some other stuff I can't remember although I do remember we played some "made up" sports.  Oh, and our gym uniform was shorts and an APE shirt.  That's all black with purple letters.  I still have the shirt although it's on its last legs.

That class was awesome.

/AP student
 
2013-05-10 01:09:20 PM  
ponykiller I was the furthest thing from sporty when I was in school, but I liked playing nonsense things like flag football and kickball and yes, even the occasional dodgeball. Human interaction is a good thing.


Big shocker there.
 
2013-05-10 01:09:21 PM  

internut scholar: Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: Pocket Ninja: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

Murder Ball was one variety of Dodge Ball, which (the way we played it) involved everybody trying to nail a person who was tagged "it." It was not usually officially sanctioned by the gym teachers, although I don't recall them ever stopping us from playing it during free time. There was also Prison Dodgeball (where team members were "taken prisoner" after being hit and could be freed to rejoin your team in what basically amounted to hostage exchanges); Pin Dodgeball (basic dodgeball with the addition of bowling that had to be protected by your team; if the pins were all knocked down, you lost, so the basic strategy was to stand your weakest players in front of the pins as human shields and do what you could to protect them from being nailed); Quad Dodge (a four-way dodgeball game where you were under threat from all sides); and many others. I loved them all.

My high school gym had an upper balcony area, and we played sniper dodgeball - one person from each team could walk the perimeter and target people, but could only get more balls if they were tossed up to them. The sniper could only get out if you hit them from the floor (which was one hell of a throw). Common strategy was to target the people who could toss the ball up and basically starve the sniper.

That sounds awesome.

We played medic ball. Each team had two medics that wore a mesh shirt. when you got hit, you would sit where you got hit. A medic could come over and drag you back behind the line and you were in the game again. So you would target their medics, because once you get both medics, no one can get back in. And in turn you would try to protect your medics.

it added some strategy.


And bonus war crimes!
 
2013-05-10 01:09:43 PM  
Dodgeball literally almost killed me (concussion on elementary school's asphalt, went home with headache, went to bed, school nurse called a couple of hours later saying to take me to an ER).

But dodgeball was never taught as a team sport. There were teams, but it was every person for himself and last man standing and was never intended to teach team participation.

But given PowerSlacker's earlier link, the author and Slate are all huge coonts.
 
2013-05-10 01:10:00 PM  
Lotta "back in my day" in this thread. You farkers are old. Get younger!
 
2013-05-10 01:10:03 PM  

Walker: I think Wallball is more sociopath. They made us stand against a brick wall and other kids would throw balls as hard as they could at us. Nowhere to run cause you're against a wall.


Wow, we did that to ourselves, but it was never a sanctioned activity. (I think we used racquet balls)
 
2013-05-10 01:10:04 PM  
Organized football is more sociopathic than dodgeball.

/rape all you want, but don't point to the sky bully
 
2013-05-10 01:10:34 PM  
Writing 1099 word long article takes the place of two 50-minute sessions with author's psychotherapist.
 
2013-05-10 01:10:35 PM  
It's cute when Slate articles try to look like real journalism.

My younger kid starts middle school next year, she would burn and loot if we took her out of PE even though she sucks at dodgeball.  Our kids today need better coping skills.
 
2013-05-10 01:10:44 PM  

KyngNothing: NutWrench: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

They called it, "smear the queer (with the ball)" when I was a kid. I have no idea why: none of us knew what a queer was.

See for us, "smear the queer" was basically "group + 1 rugby" - the entire group would try and tackle the person with the ball, until they gave up, and threw it up in the air, for everyone to try and get. You could also get tackled if you gave up too easily, or didn't try to get the free ball hard enough.

(northern MD, 1980s)


smear the queer was one of the most popular games in our neighborhood growing up.  Also regular tackle football, jail break, and massive water balloon fights.
 
2013-05-10 01:11:00 PM  
I just did a quick Google search of everything else this woman has written, and yes, she really is this stupid.  Pretty much everything else that has come out of her head and she has seen fit to put on the internet with her name attached is this embarrassing.
 
2013-05-10 01:11:35 PM  

HeadLever: impaler: I sucked at team sports, but I loved dodgeball.

Kickball can go fark itself.

Ahh, reminds me of the days of wallball where 1/2 the class were always sporting racquet ball sized briuses. In those days, the teachers would just roll thier eyes at us.  I am sure that game is no longer allowed.


We played too. Nowdays it depends on where you are. My 11 year old plays every day & coaches at his Jr. High encourage it. I don't worry about him playing wallball, though. He can hurl a ball about 65+ mph from the wind-up & is deadly accurate. Makes me wonder what his deal is when he's on the mound pitching. Maybe it's the kid in the box, but he just wild enough to be effective.
 
2013-05-10 01:11:36 PM  
The writer sounds like a pencil-necked little twee boy. Bet he has a purty little mouth.
 
2013-05-10 01:11:45 PM  
I've never been much good at sports, so PE was rarely much fun, but come on. Kids aren't that stupid. They're not going to judge your intelligence based on your athleticism. Or, if they are, they're idiots.

Team sports can be great. I still have fond memories of soccer in elementary and middle school. Especially, to be frank, the co-ed years early on, before they established a local AYSO girls' league. I was never very good, and spent most of my playing time on defense (I had a good kick for that, at least, and that came in very handy during the middle school PE kickball games), but a few boys on the team came to be supportive friends. It's at least as much about the interaction as it is about the game itself. Good times.

And that was a casual extra-curricular league. Winning and losing in freaking PE matters even less. Just play the game, get the grade, and move on. Nobody's going to remember how much you sucked at volleyball, or how good you were at archery, or whatever. Well, they won't, unless they happen to read your whiny article on the internet. So good luck with your next class reunion...
 
2013-05-10 01:11:50 PM  
Anyone who is still bitter about their poor performance in PE as a kid and seeks to abolish the games that they failed at should swallow a cyanide pill post haste. LET...IT...GO.

"I developed a slouch"  just shut up please. Everyone suffering through either your spoken or written word will be better off.

/she sounds hideous
 
2013-05-10 01:12:34 PM  
Ahh yeah, the old bullshiat line of "things were so good in the golden age". Whats really funny is that 20 years from now there will be another group of idiots pining for the good old days of today and again and again every new generation. You can find thousand year old documents biatching about the same crap in this thread, well probably not exactly the same stuff but close enough.
 
2013-05-10 01:12:42 PM  

PowerSlacker: The author is a Portland hipster biatch.

Move along, nothing to see here.


QFT. I saw the Name, did a GIS. Yeah.. coont.
 
2013-05-10 01:12:45 PM  
I look forward to the author's next article where he decries the evil of learning math and reasoning -- because, how dare anyone feel inferior about their intelligence in a classroom.  Heck, that whole hand-raising thing is like the smart kids rubbing dirt in the dumb kids' faces.
 
2013-05-10 01:13:09 PM  
We called it "War Ball"  8 balls, probably about 40 kids to start.  Only played it in middle school though and in 8th grade the girls got a new Gym Coach who was all "progressive" and stuff and we had to stop playing it and never even mention "War Ball" again.  We would still play every time she took a day off.  That game was ridiculously fun.  I don't see how it was unhealthy, running for you life for 5 seconds followed by 5 seconds of indulgence in your murder/revenge instinct.

Anyone who says team sports and unhealthy sounds fat and is a wuss.
 
2013-05-10 01:13:38 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: impaler: I sucked at team sports, but I loved dodgeball.

Kickball can go fark itself.

Same here. We lived for it. We had 3 PE periods a week, and if we were really good, we got to play dodge ball on Friday.


Carn: KyngNothing: NutWrench: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

They called it, "smear the queer (with the ball)" when I was a kid. I have no idea why: none of us knew what a queer was.

See for us, "smear the queer" was basically "group + 1 rugby" - the entire group would try and tackle the person with the ball, until they gave up, and threw it up in the air, for everyone to try and get. You could also get tackled if you gave up too easily, or didn't try to get the free ball hard enough.

(northern MD, 1980s)

smear the queer was one of the most popular games in our neighborhood growing up.  Also regular tackle football, jail break, and massive water balloon fights.


BULLIES!
 
2013-05-10 01:14:40 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

Murder Ball was one variety of Dodge Ball, which (the way we played it) involved everybody trying to nail a person who was tagged "it." It was not usually officially sanctioned by the gym teachers, although I don't recall them ever stopping us from playing it during free time. There was also Prison Dodgeball (where team members were "taken prisoner" after being hit and could be freed to rejoin your team in what basically amounted to hostage exchanges); Pin Dodgeball (basic dodgeball with the addition of bowling that had to be protected by your team; if the pins were all knocked down, you lost, so the basic strategy was to stand your weakest players in front of the pins as human shields and do what you could to protect them from being nailed); Quad Dodge (a four-way dodgeball game where you were under threat from all sides); and many others. I loved them all.


When was the last time you went on a murder spree? Have you raped any animals lately? Do you keep any females in your life locked in a basement, you know, where they belong? Since you have obviously grown up to be a psychopath, do you blame murderball or quad dodge?
Dodgeball is a gateway drug to misogyny, republicanism and eating meat. These are facts.
 
2013-05-10 01:14:59 PM  
People gave a shiat about gym class?  I was good at sports and it never occurred to me that it mattered to anyone.  It's just gym.  It matters if you're at tryouts or on the team, but no one cares that you suck at gym.

I didn't even notice you sucking if that makes you feel better.
 
2013-05-10 01:15:05 PM  

KyngNothing: NutWrench: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

They called it, "smear the queer (with the ball)" when I was a kid. I have no idea why: none of us knew what a queer was.

See for us, "smear the queer" was basically "group + 1 rugby" - the entire group would try and tackle the person with the ball, until they gave up, and threw it up in the air, for everyone to try and get. You could also get tackled if you gave up too easily, or didn't try to get the free ball hard enough.

(northern MD, 1980s)


Yeah, that's pretty much what it was everywhere I lived as well.  And I'm pretty sure none of us knew what a queer was either.

And I loved dodge ball, even though in school I was the skinny kid with thick glasses and my nose in a book.  I don't understand how the kids I grew up with in the 80's and early 90's turned into such pussy little biatches when it came to raising their kids.
 
2013-05-10 01:15:31 PM  

LordJiro: And bonus war crimes!


And if you lost you were tried at the Hague and if found guilty you were hanged.
 
2013-05-10 01:15:52 PM  

mattharvest: So, her whole argument is "I sucked at sports, so sports suck"?

I'm only moderately athletic, rowed crew in college but wasn't brilliant at it, etc. and know that my natural talents lie more in intellectual activities and so that's probably why I worked on them more, but where do you get the ego to think intellectual gifts are intrinsically better than physical?

The sheer chutzpah of acting like kids who are born 'smarter' are somehow better than kids who are born more 'athletic' is just insane, as if the two are somehow opposite ends of a spectrum.  They're completely distinct characteristics.  Kids should be praised for either or both, teaching them to love what they can do well so that they'll work to improve those things and hopefully achieve good or great things.  Telling athletic kids that they suck because they aren't smart enough is no better than telling smart kids they suck because they're not athletic enough.


ahem
actually yes
example    a gorilla (if trainable) - would be excellent at sports

if you wish to claim competition in a subject that an ape would excell in
pls dont be suprised if poo gets thown
 
2013-05-10 01:15:55 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: sigdiamond2000: I'm almost 40. When I was a kid in the summertime, I would basically disappear, every day, between 8 AM and 10 PM, going pretty much anywhere I wanted to and I'd come home dirty, injured, and exhausted. Every day

Heh. An when we got grounded those that were free to roam hung out at the arrestee's house until we drove his parent (usually stay at home Mom) crazy and we'd ALL get chucked including the offender. This was one of our hangouts. We would roam "the woods" as we called it and there were all kinds of scary things there...Snakes, turtles, poison ivy, hippies smoking weed or engaging in other..ahem...activities (wink wink nudge nudge). We built a ramp at the bottom of a steep  where we would jump our bikes with increasing courage. I can remember having to help at least two friends out with broken arms...The LAST thing we wanted to do was get stuck inside.


Oh god my mom would throw us out of the house in the morning in summer. There were a few "neighborhood" kids (as in they lived within a few miles of us) and we would get together and roam the forest, fields, and swamps. We had one of those big triangles on our back porch and when we heard my mom ringing that we'd come back for lunch and then go back out till dinner. And then we stayed out till the sunset which in Michigan was around 9:30-10 PM in the summer. I don't think we were inside for more than an hour at a time unless we were sleeping. And really we never wanted to be.
 
2013-05-10 01:16:09 PM  
So because the author of this article is a total fail she is saying that kids should not do what she is bad at.

Some people need to be pushed in order to find out if they like it or not.  I know a person that never played football except for one time when he was forced to in elementary school.  He went to a reputable university and was asked to try out for the team.  He started for 2 different NFL teams and just retired last year.  If they had made him play more just imagine how good he could have been.
 
2013-05-10 01:16:17 PM  

AbbeySomeone: ecmoRandomNumbers: impaler: I sucked at team sports, but I loved dodgeball.

Kickball can go fark itself.

Same here. We lived for it. We had 3 PE periods a week, and if we were really good, we got to play dodge ball on Friday.

Carn: KyngNothing: NutWrench: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

They called it, "smear the queer (with the ball)" when I was a kid. I have no idea why: none of us knew what a queer was.

See for us, "smear the queer" was basically "group + 1 rugby" - the entire group would try and tackle the person with the ball, until they gave up, and threw it up in the air, for everyone to try and get. You could also get tackled if you gave up too easily, or didn't try to get the free ball hard enough.

(northern MD, 1980s)

smear the queer was one of the most popular games in our neighborhood growing up.  Also regular tackle football, jail break, and massive water balloon fights.

BULLIES!


The funny thing was, everybody had to take their turn.  Anyone who shied away from the ball and their turn to "be the queer" somebody else would grab it and stuff it in their hands.  In other words everyone took turns getting gang tackled.  We also used to do a variation called "funny fumbles" which was us trying to creative fumble then pile up and crush each other.  I dunno, boys are weird.

Oh and like somebody above said, I'm pretty sure none of use knew what a queer was.
 
2013-05-10 01:16:31 PM  
Also let me say, this thread has restored my faith in Fark.
 
2013-05-10 01:16:49 PM  

ManateeGag: when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.


This. Or worse - sometimes your team worked AGAINST you.

/loved dodgeball 'cuz was quick and agile, so was usually one of the last out.
 
2013-05-10 01:17:28 PM  

sigdiamond2000: Dancin_In_Anson: ManateeGag: when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.

We played with tennis balls too. Nowadays I think they'd call in grief counselors to share our feelings about some of the bruising we took.

I brought this up in a conversation with a group of my old high school classmates last year. The catalyst was this article. Now, most of my classmates' kids are getting into the late teen age range but there are still a few who started late. My question was when did we become such shiatty parents where we were so overly concerned about our kids and why?

I'm almost 40. When I was a kid in the summertime, I would basically disappear, every day, between 8 AM and 10 PM, going pretty much anywhere I wanted to and I'd come home dirty, injured, and exhausted. Every day.

Now, my nieces and nephews are never, ever more than 10 feet away from their parents and are never outside. Whenever one of them somehow wanders away from their invisible umbilical cord, their parents are practically on the phone to the police.
I don't understand what happened either.


fear of strangers, fed by CNN (well, Nancy Grace specifically), Dateline, and Law & Order SVU.

sexual abuse of children by random strangers is extremely rare, but you wouldn't know that when youwatch TV.
 
2013-05-10 01:18:32 PM  
This thread reeks of Stockholm Syndrome.
 
2013-05-10 01:18:39 PM  

KyngNothing: Walker: I think Wallball is more sociopath. They made us stand against a brick wall and other kids would throw balls as hard as they could at us. Nowhere to run cause you're against a wall.

Wow, we did that to ourselves, but it was never a sanctioned activity. (I think we used racquet balls)


In Jr. High, I definitely had coaches that allowed/encouraged or used Wallball themselves, but not in elementary school.
 
2013-05-10 01:18:49 PM  

Hoban Washburne: You know, life is a little hard and a little scary at times.  If at 15 you can't handle the idea of someone throwing a soft rubber ball at you then you've got some toughening up to do.

I will say this though.  Athletes (as in currently enrolled in a sport) should not take gym.  There's a huge competitive gap between them and the general non-athlete student populace.  It hampers the athletes' experience and is unfair to the non-athletes.


I could agree with this one.  Their sport should just count for the PE credit since they are doing significantly more PE anyway.  And us "athletes" generally crushed everyone else which just made it a competition against ourselves.

/ Put athletes in quotes because I believe that drive/competitiveness at that young of an age goes further than natural talent.  A kid that tries hard and gives his all will never be the last one picked.
 
2013-05-10 01:19:26 PM  

NutWrench: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

They called it, "smear the queer (with the ball)" when I was a kid. I have no idea why: none of us knew what a queer was.


in my neighborhood we played a game called "suicide" which was like a very extreme "smear the queer" and we played "atomic fireball" and yet it involved actual fire.
 
2013-05-10 01:19:31 PM  
Ahh yeah, the old bullshiat line of "things were so good in the golden age". Whats really funny is that 20 years from now there will be another group of idiots pining for the good old days of today and again and again every new generation. You can find thousand year old documents biatching about the same crap in this thread, well probably not exactly the same stuff but close enough.


Speaking as a guy who just turned 40 and works with many twenty somethings, I can't tell you how often younger people make comments about how much cooler everything must have been in the 80's and 90's. And a very large number of "millenials" profess love of musical artists from before their time. When I was a teenager, almost no one "cool" listened to twenty or twenty five year old bands.
Even their own members perceive this generation sucks.
 
2013-05-10 01:19:56 PM  
I was the lanky/awkward kid who mostly got picked last.
The only parts of PE I liked were when we did track and field stuff in the late spring. Can't catch/throw/kick well, but I could jump higher and further than most of my class.
 
2013-05-10 01:20:27 PM  
Dodgeball in Jr High caused me to miss the State Hockey finals, so fark dodgeball, or fark the P.E. instructor who thought it was a good idea to use worn out volleyballs as dodgeballs.
 
2013-05-10 01:20:42 PM  
I remember getting on my bike as an elementary aged kid and going all over town. I wonder if I will let Devo jr. out of the house on his own before his teen years.
 
2013-05-10 01:21:29 PM  
I'm with her.  And I excelled at team sports.Team sports is fine though until say 6th grade at which point extra curricular sports are available in school.  I was a great soccer and volleyball player.  I would never be good at softball or basketball.  Why force basketball onto a 12 year old who will never be good at it and is quickly being outpaced by actual players.  The differentiation is less acute at earlier ages, and a good time to offer up multiple sports to kids so they can find one they like.

But truthfully, if the goal pf phys ed is to make kids more physically fit, then browbeating them into a sport for which they have no skill is likely counter productive.  You're bad at it so you hate gym, so you hate exercise, so you never develop any comfortable exercise regimen.  This isn't math or English or even science which are all part of being a well rounded citizen (and an employable one) it's freakin sports.  Your ability to send in a corner kick will never come up in a job interview.  Your weight and your general health though will definitely be noticed.
 
2013-05-10 01:21:59 PM  

Lorelle: I always viewed dodgeball as the one sport in which the weaklings could get back at the bullies for tormenting them the rest of the school day.


In my experience, the weaklings couldn't throw hard enough or accurately enough to get back at anyone, while the bullies endeavored to cause as much pain and humiliation as possible.
 
2013-05-10 01:22:06 PM  

Carn: AbbeySomeone: ecmoRandomNumbers: impaler: I sucked at team sports, but I loved dodgeball.

Kickball can go fark itself.

Same here. We lived for it. We had 3 PE periods a week, and if we were really good, we got to play dodge ball on Friday.

Carn: KyngNothing: NutWrench: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

They called it, "smear the queer (with the ball)" when I was a kid. I have no idea why: none of us knew what a queer was.

See for us, "smear the queer" was basically "group + 1 rugby" - the entire group would try and tackle the person with the ball, until they gave up, and threw it up in the air, for everyone to try and get. You could also get tackled if you gave up too easily, or didn't try to get the free ball hard enough.

(northern MD, 1980s)

smear the queer was one of the most popular games in our neighborhood growing up.  Also regular tackle football, jail break, and massive water balloon fights.

BULLIES!

The funny thing was, everybody had to take their turn.  Anyone who shied away from the ball and their turn to "be the queer" somebody else would grab it and stuff it in their hands.  In other words everyone took turns getting gang tackled.  We also used to do a variation called "funny fumbles" which was us trying to creative fumble then pile up and crush each other.  I dunno, boys are weird.

Oh and like somebody above said, I'm pretty sure none of use knew what a queer was.


This.  We played this in my neighborhood for years and I'm certain none of us had any idea what we were saying.  My mom always hated it when I called it that, but I didn't understand why until I was in high school, long after my smear the queer days were over.

/got and saw some pretty serious injuries playing that game.
//still was worth it
 
2013-05-10 01:22:24 PM  
It's true that P.E. really isn't educational. It was just variations on "here's a ball. Go play." Everything I know about fitness and health came from learning on my own. It would be nice if P.E. actually taught kids about exercise instead of being an excuse to give coaches an extra paycheck for, essentially, babysitting.
 
2013-05-10 01:23:07 PM  

NutWrench: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

They called it, "smear the queer (with the ball)" when I was a kid. I have no idea why: none of us knew what a queer was.


We had a different smear the queer, which was when one kid would get the football and everyone else would try to tackle him.  There was no real goal besides seeing how long you could last.  The rule was you couldn't leave the yard.  This would often result in a "attractive and intelligent African-American pile" which somehow seemed like a normal thing to say at the time.
 
2013-05-10 01:24:04 PM  

sigdiamond2000: Dancin_In_Anson: ManateeGag: when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.

We played with tennis balls too. Nowadays I think they'd call in grief counselors to share our feelings about some of the bruising we took.

I brought this up in a conversation with a group of my old high school classmates last year. The catalyst was this article. Now, most of my classmates' kids are getting into the late teen age range but there are still a few who started late. My question was when did we become such shiatty parents where we were so overly concerned about our kids and why?

I'm almost 40. When I was a kid in the summertime, I would basically disappear, every day, between 8 AM and 10 PM, going pretty much anywhere I wanted to and I'd come home dirty, injured, and exhausted. Every day.

Now, my nieces and nephews are never, ever more than 10 feet away from their parents and are never outside. Whenever one of them somehow wanders away from their invisible umbilical cord, their parents are practically on the phone to the police.
I don't understand what happened either.


Yeah in the summertime the only time you would see me at home was for lunch. Sometimes we were so dirty when we got back from whatever we were doing mom would turn the hose on us before she let us in the house.
 
2013-05-10 01:24:48 PM  

Waldo Pepper: NutWrench: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

They called it, "smear the queer (with the ball)" when I was a kid. I have no idea why: none of us knew what a queer was.

in my neighborhood we played a game called "suicide" which was like a very extreme "smear the queer" and we played "atomic fireball" and yet it involved actual fire.


That's why "The Great" usually precedes your name.
 
2013-05-10 01:26:14 PM  

ArgusRun: I'm with her.  And I excelled at team sports.Team sports is fine though until say 6th grade at which point extra curricular sports are available in school.  I was a great soccer and volleyball player.  I would never be good at softball or basketball.  Why force basketball onto a 12 year old who will never be good at it and is quickly being outpaced by actual players.  The differentiation is less acute at earlier ages, and a good time to offer up multiple sports to kids so they can find one they like.

But truthfully, if the goal pf phys ed is to make kids more physically fit, then browbeating them into a sport for which they have no skill is likely counter productive.  You're bad at it so you hate gym, so you hate exercise, so you never develop any comfortable exercise regimen.  This isn't math or English or even science which are all part of being a well rounded citizen (and an employable one) it's freakin sports.  Your ability to send in a corner kick will never come up in a job interview.  Your weight and your general health though will definitely be noticed.


Hmm, these are fine points.  Perhaps the goal of PE is (or was) transferring some type of sports knowledge.  Seems kind of pointless though because if you're 12 years old and don't care about baseball, you're not likely to start caring.  If anything, I've become less interested in sports as I age.
 
2013-05-10 01:26:29 PM  

ArgusRun: I'm with her. ...


then you are alone
 
2013-05-10 01:26:43 PM  

Rapmaster2000: This would often result in a "attractive and intelligent African-American pile" which somehow seemed like a normal thing to say at the time.


We always called that a dog pile for whatever reason, we did use the racist version of enie meanie miney moe though.

/Grew up in a completely white town. The only black people we ever saw were on Good Times and the Jeffersons.
 
2013-05-10 01:26:59 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: ManateeGag: when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.

We played with tennis balls too. Nowadays I think they'd call in grief counselors to share our feelings about some of the bruising we took.

I brought this up in a conversation with a group of my old high school classmates last year. The catalyst was this article. Now, most of my classmates' kids are getting into the late teen age range but there are still a few who started late. My question was when did we become such shiatty parents where we were so overly concerned about our kids and why? When we were growing up, many of our Fathers were WWII and/or Korea vets. We were all but expected to get into fights, (get caught fighting in school you'd get hauled to the gym, put on gloves and headgear and duke it out until tired then get a swat or two and sent to class), get cuts and scrapes, break a bone or two and into mischief. You might get your ass kicked, some stitches, wince at Bactine's sting or wear a cast for a couple of months but it was all part of growing up. A standard reply when you thought you were wronged was 'life's not fair'.

I'm stunned at how parents (when they have parents but that's a whole 'nuther conversation) act towards their kids today. Everyone's a winner, there are no losers, call the cops when a couple of 13 year olds squab on the ball field after school...These parents are in their late 30s to late 40s...just about my age and down. What made them such pussies?


The media.
 
2013-05-10 01:30:06 PM  

Saborlas: This thread reeks of Stockholm Syndrome.


You reek of Fatholm Syndrome.
 
2013-05-10 01:30:45 PM  
Dodgeball sucks. Wall Ball is where it's at! No teams. Every man for himself!
 
2013-05-10 01:30:47 PM  
not a problem.  thanks to republican's cutting education budgets, schools don't even have gym anymore.
 
2013-05-10 01:30:55 PM  

meat0918: Dancin_In_Anson: ManateeGag: when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.

We played with tennis balls too. Nowadays I think they'd call in grief counselors to share our feelings about some of the bruising we took.

I brought this up in a conversation with a group of my old high school classmates last year. The catalyst was this article. Now, most of my classmates' kids are getting into the late teen age range but there are still a few who started late. My question was when did we become such shiatty parents where we were so overly concerned about our kids and why? When we were growing up, many of our Fathers were WWII and/or Korea vets. We were all but expected to get into fights, (get caught fighting in school you'd get hauled to the gym, put on gloves and headgear and duke it out until tired then get a swat or two and sent to class), get cuts and scrapes, break a bone or two and into mischief. You might get your ass kicked, some stitches, wince at Bactine's sting or wear a cast for a couple of months but it was all part of growing up. A standard reply when you thought you were wronged was 'life's not fair'.

I'm stunned at how parents (when they have parents but that's a whole 'nuther conversation) act towards their kids today. Everyone's a winner, there are no losers, call the cops when a couple of 13 year olds squab on the ball field after school...These parents are in their late 30s to late 40s...just about my age and down. What made them such pussies?

The media.


the nerds have taken over.  nerd skills are more profitable nowadays, so nerds are raising nerd children, with nerd values, nerd physicques and nerd beliefs.

it used to take brass balls to make money in this country.  now it just takes nerd skills.
 
2013-05-10 01:31:23 PM  

Tom_Slick: Dodgeball in Jr High caused me to miss the State Hockey finals, so fark dodgeball, or fark the P.E. instructor who thought it was a good idea to use worn out volleyballs as dodgeballs.


LOL, that's a terrible idea.  I've got a deviated septum from taking one too many volleyballs to the face in a league I played in for about 10 years.  They are way too stiff and heavy for dodgeball.  Last fall I was playing a pick up game of volleyball and broke my glasses from my own mishiat (chased a deflection out of bounds, tried to backwards underhand it about 30 yards - ended up hitting myself in the face).
 
2013-05-10 01:31:29 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Hmm, these are fine points. Perhaps the goal of PE is (or was) transferring some type of sports knowledge. Seems kind of pointless though because if you're 12 years old and don't care about baseball, you're not likely to start caring. If anything, I've become less interested in sports as I age.


I can attest as a youth, I hated Basketball, I could care less if I could make a free throw or a layup, I was a hockey player, so when they made us play basketball in PE with the kids on the basketball team I hated it.  Just let me go to the weight room or something.

/Yes I sucked at basketball.
 
2013-05-10 01:31:29 PM  

KyngNothing: NutWrench: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

They called it, "smear the queer (with the ball)" when I was a kid. I have no idea why: none of us knew what a queer was.

See for us, "smear the queer" was basically "group + 1 rugby" - the entire group would try and tackle the person with the ball, until they gave up, and threw it up in the air, for everyone to try and get. You could also get tackled if you gave up too easily, or didn't try to get the free ball hard enough.

(northern MD, 1980s)


This was also my experience with Smear the Queer (central MD, late 80s/early 90s). Played in the field in front of the school. Our "gym" was the basement of the school, so we could take cover behind the support beams during dodge ball. Couldn't put any arc on the throws, either, because the ceiling was only 8 or 10 feet.

In high school, during the Basketball unit, the gym teacher paired off the six jocks against each other (didn't want the athletic kids beating down the non-athletic kids). Wound up being the three JV hockey players (me, Bishop, and Stoner) against the three JV basketball players. I was the tallest on our team at 6'3, and I was three inches shorter than their shortest guy. We may as well have been playing against the Miami Heat, but it was great fun. Sometimes you get your ass kicked.

 
2013-05-10 01:31:46 PM  

Source4leko: Carn: AbbeySomeone: ecmoRandomNumbers: impaler: I sucked at team sports, but I loved dodgeball.

Kickball can go fark itself.

Same here. We lived for it. We had 3 PE periods a week, and if we were really good, we got to play dodge ball on Friday.

Carn: KyngNothing: NutWrench: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

They called it, "smear the queer (with the ball)" when I was a kid. I have no idea why: none of us knew what a queer was.

See for us, "smear the queer" was basically "group + 1 rugby" - the entire group would try and tackle the person with the ball, until they gave up, and threw it up in the air, for everyone to try and get. You could also get tackled if you gave up too easily, or didn't try to get the free ball hard enough.

(northern MD, 1980s)

smear the queer was one of the most popular games in our neighborhood growing up.  Also regular tackle football, jail break, and massive water balloon fights.

BULLIES!

The funny thing was, everybody had to take their turn.  Anyone who shied away from the ball and their turn to "be the queer" somebody else would grab it and stuff it in their hands.  In other words everyone took turns getting gang tackled.  We also used to do a variation called "funny fumbles" which was us trying to creative fumble then pile up and crush each other.  I dunno, boys are weird.

Oh and like somebody above said, I'm pretty sure none of use knew what a queer was.

This.  We played this in my neighborhood for years and I'm certain none of us had any idea what we were saying.  My mom always hated it when I called it that, but I didn't understand why until I was in high school, long after my smear the queer days were over.

/got and saw some pretty serious injuries playing that game.
//still was worth it


I remember playing all those games. This was before political correctness and such. There didn't seem to be so many sissies and whiners in those days. If we got hit it was because we weren't quick or agile enough.
 
2013-05-10 01:32:23 PM  

Outlaw Thirds: AngryPanda: This author is like my friend who says that even watching sports and enjoying it is unhealthy. Whatever, dude.

Watching sports is unhealthy. Playing them, of course, is definitely healthy.


He meant psychologically unhealthy, though.
 
2013-05-10 01:32:55 PM  
fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net
This thread is making me want to get tickets to this.
 
2013-05-10 01:33:13 PM  

Tom_Slick: Rapmaster2000: This would often result in a "attractive and intelligent African-American pile" which somehow seemed like a normal thing to say at the time.

We always called that a dog pile for whatever reason, we did use the racist version of enie meanie miney moe though.

/Grew up in a completely white town. The only black people we ever saw were on Good Times and the Jeffersons.


Same here.  We did the same for what others call "jury rig" and we used an alliterative phrase in place of "ding dong ditch".

All white town in the sticks.
 
2013-05-10 01:34:15 PM  

doubled99: Ahh yeah, the old bullshiat line of "things were so good in the golden age". Whats really funny is that 20 years from now there will be another group of idiots pining for the good old days of today and again and again every new generation. You can find thousand year old documents biatching about the same crap in this thread, well probably not exactly the same stuff but close enough.


Speaking as a guy who just turned 40 and works with many twenty somethings, I can't tell you how often younger people make comments about how much cooler everything must have been in the 80's and 90's. And a very large number of "millenials" profess love of musical artists from before their time. When I was a teenager, almost no one "cool" listened to twenty or twenty five year old bands.
Even their own members perceive this generation sucks.


This.
 
2013-05-10 01:34:53 PM  

basemetal: [fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net image 850x314]
This thread is making me want to get tickets to this.


I was in a dodgeball tournament in 2006 and 2007.  Those things are boozefests.  We started drinking at 7am.  Everyone was drunk.  It was great.
 
2013-05-10 01:35:54 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Tom_Slick: Dodgeball in Jr High caused me to miss the State Hockey finals, so fark dodgeball, or fark the P.E. instructor who thought it was a good idea to use worn out volleyballs as dodgeballs.

LOL, that's a terrible idea.  I've got a deviated septum from taking one too many volleyballs to the face in a league I played in for about 10 years.  They are way too stiff and heavy for dodgeball.  Last fall I was playing a pick up game of volleyball and broke my glasses from my own mishiat (chased a deflection out of bounds, tried to backwards underhand it about 30 yards - ended up hitting myself in the face).


The day before I was leaving for the State Hockey finals, I took a volleyball used as a dodgeball to the face causing a concussion, broken nose and since the cover was cracked a cut requiring 12 stitches to the cheek. No medical clearance for the tournament.
 
2013-05-10 01:36:59 PM  

Rapmaster2000: LOL, that's a terrible idea.  I've got a deviated septum from taking one too many volleyballs to the face in a league I played in for about 10 years.  They are way too stiff and heavy for dodgeball.


No they aren't, because unless you're an idiot who goes up to the very front of your side of the court, you're not going to get anything with near as much velocity as a spike in volleyball.

/I thought hockey players were tough
//have played dodgeball with volleyballs, soccer balls, and basketballs (as well as actual dodgeballs of both rubber and the newer foam types)
 
2013-05-10 01:37:20 PM  
I was pretty good at soccer (for gym class), and passable at floor hockey and volleyball.  I sucked at basketball and baseball.  Really, really sucked.

Still glad I was forced to play.

You learn to deal with your limitations and to deal with how people react to them.
 
2013-05-10 01:38:05 PM  
In middle school while digging through a supply closet near the gym we found four pairs of boxing gloves. I mean real, old school brown leather gloves -- couldn't have been eight-ouncers.

Our gym teacher said "have at it" -- the only thing he did was make sure there were no heavyweight vs. bantamweight bouts (in relative terms). Pure lack of skill prevented any real ass-kickings and the bouts went on until inevitably someone got tagged so hard he cried -- and yes, that kid suffered for said crying for the rest of his school life.

If that happened today the teacher would be in jail, the school would be on national news, a strike force of lawyers would have airdropped in and every one of us would be in thrice-weekly counseling until the sun burned out.
 
2013-05-10 01:38:56 PM  
Hmm, these are fine points. Perhaps the goal of PE is (or was) transferring some type of sports knowledge. Seems kind of pointless though because if you're 12 years old and don't care about baseball, you're not likely to start caring. If anything, I've become less interested in sports as I age.

I can attest as a youth, I hated Basketball, I could care less if I could make a free throw or a layup, I was a hockey player, so when they made us play basketball in PE with the kids on the basketball team I hated it.  Just let me go to the weight room or something.

/Yes I sucked at basketball.


hated math as a kid and still do. Never use math beyond 8th grade level in normal life. Why did we have to take Algebra?
 
2013-05-10 01:39:12 PM  
Dear Jessica,

I am sorry you lack coordination or any other athletic ability.  I am sorry you are mad you got picked last during gym class and recess.  Finally, I am sorry none of the boys (or girls if that is your preference) liked you back.  However, your crippling insecurities and failings are your own, so kindly stfu and quit projecting.

kthnxbye.
 
2013-05-10 01:39:41 PM  

Walker: I think Wallball is more sociopath. They made us stand against a brick wall and other kids would throw balls as hard as they could at us. Nowhere to run cause you're against a wall.


I've seen this version, I think on one episode of Buffy.

When I was a kid we played dodgeball, but it wasn't like that.  We had a large group of kids bunch together, and two kids stood on either side of the bunch and threw the ball into it.  No one ever got hurt, and I recall it being mass quantities of fun for all of us.

The ball was a little bigger (12-14" diameter), and of course grade school kids don't throw that hard.

Not like the Buffy ep where they had big guys throwing the smaller balls nearly as fast as a Big League pitcher.

But what's so bad about kickball?  We played it, and it was basically baseball with a bouncy rubber ball that was rolled and kicked...and you could hit a person with the ball to put them out.  I always had fun playing, and my 8yr old daughter loves it.
 
2013-05-10 01:40:31 PM  

liam76: I was pretty good at soccer (for gym class), and passable at floor hockey and volleyball.  I sucked at basketball and baseball.  Really, really sucked.

Still glad I was forced to play.

You learn to deal with your limitations and to deal with how people react to them.


Bingo.  Could not agree more.  Problem is folks don't want to admit they have limitations and want a trophy for everything.  And we wonder why the place is declining.
 
2013-05-10 01:40:35 PM  
If you find Dodgeball to be sociopathic you're probably doing it wrong.
 
2013-05-10 01:40:49 PM  
Any chance that one of the points of PE was simply to get a little exercise? Games are easier to get kids involved in than just doing jumping jacks or wind sprints.
 
2013-05-10 01:42:10 PM  

doubled99: Any chance that one of the points of PE was simply to get a little exercise? Games are easier to get kids involved in than just doing jumping jacks or wind sprints.


I get the feeling the author doesn't like exercise either.
 
2013-05-10 01:42:36 PM  

ristst: But what's so bad about kickball?  We played it, and it was basically baseball with a bouncy rubber ball that was rolled and kicked.


That's exactly what kickball is. There's nothing wrong with it. I suppose there's always the potential of someone drilling you in the face with the ball from about a foot away just because they can, but that has nothing to do with sports and everything to do with someone being an asshole.

Same goes for pretty much any of these games.

/played wallball starting in like first grade
//if you don't drop the damn ball, you don't have to run to the wall and risk getting drilled - get some damn hand/eye coordination
 
2013-05-10 01:43:04 PM  

IAmRight: Rapmaster2000: LOL, that's a terrible idea.  I've got a deviated septum from taking one too many volleyballs to the face in a league I played in for about 10 years.  They are way too stiff and heavy for dodgeball.

No they aren't, because unless you're an idiot who goes up to the very front of your side of the court, you're not going to get anything with near as much velocity as a spike in volleyball.

/I thought hockey players were tough
//have played dodgeball with volleyballs, soccer balls, and basketballs (as well as actual dodgeballs of both rubber and the newer foam types)


Pfft.  I have played dodgeball cannonballs, flails, and tennis balls soaked in kerosene and lit on fire.

I thought internet tough guys were tough.
 
2013-05-10 01:43:33 PM  

doubled99: Any chance that one of the points of PE was simply to get a little exercise? Games are easier to get kids involved in than just doing jumping jacks or wind sprints.


That's undoubtedly a lot of it. Helps wear kids down as well so they can pay better attention and mind teachers in other classes better, too.

But now we have Ritalin for that.
 
2013-05-10 01:43:34 PM  
I posted several times in this thread and I don't think any of my posts were tagged as funny or smart. My self-esteem is really starting to trend down. I called my mom and she said you guys have to give me some kind of trophy for participating, or, there will be lawyers.
 
2013-05-10 01:44:42 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Pfft.  I have played dodgeball cannonballs, flails, and tennis balls soaked in kerosene and lit on fire.

I thought internet tough guys were tough.


I'm hardly an internet tough guy. But if dude got his face all broken due to a volleyball being used, he has a glass face. Or was doing something really stupid.
 
2013-05-10 01:45:11 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Tom_Slick: Rapmaster2000: This would often result in a "attractive and intelligent African-American pile" which somehow seemed like a normal thing to say at the time.

We always called that a dog pile for whatever reason, we did use the racist version of enie meanie miney moe though.

/Grew up in a completely white town. The only black people we ever saw were on Good Times and the Jeffersons.

Same here.  We did the same for what others call "jury rig" and we used an alliterative phrase in place of "ding dong ditch".

All white town in the sticks.


o/

yes also
 
2013-05-10 01:47:31 PM  

studs up: I posted several times in this thread and I don't think any of my posts were tagged as funny or smart. My self-esteem is really starting to trend down. I called my mom and she said you guys have to give me some kind of trophy for participating, or, there will be lawyers.


wanna play dodgeball?
 
2013-05-10 01:47:36 PM  
The irony is that there is a very good argument that women benefit more from participation in team sports than do men.

But let's be honest, this woman sounds like she'd be miserable no matter what.
 
2013-05-10 01:47:38 PM  
Dodgeball was validation for bullies. I see some folks think it was all fun and that those who got pounded "deserved it". And people wonder why kids want to kill their classmates. I know I did, and I am still not exactly sure how I am not in prison for life.

Now as an adult, I would LOVE to play it. Mainly because I am rather strong and have a massive tolerance for pain. Plus, so many other factors at play, that even if you suck and become "the loser" that everyone wails on, you probably are adult enough not to care and take it in stride. Or you might get to pork your vastly hotter wife than the winners. Or have a nicer car. Or something. In school, you basically have the bullied and the bullies (at least from the perspective of one of the bullied). Not much leverage apart from that: no one cares if you are rich or smart, just if you are cool or a reject. The only time dodgeball worked out is if one of the "cool" kids became one of the losers in dodgeball. Which basically never happened.
 
2013-05-10 01:47:41 PM  
In school, capture the flag and dodgeball were my favorite PE games.


I may well be the worst basketball player in the history of time. I'm not even kidding.
 
2013-05-10 01:47:58 PM  
Looking back, my main issue with dodgeball (and some degree other sports) was wearing glasses.

Getting hit by the squishy dodgeballs we had?   Even by the biggest 8th grader... meh. I'm pretty good with minor pain.

Getting hit in the bespectacled face?  It's mostly the glasses bashed into your nose that hurts.  Plus my parents let me know that we couldn't afford to replace them often (in the days before $15 Zenni specials, very basic glasses cost $300+ in 2013 terms).

The alternative was not wearing them, which is what I did.  Might as well have been blindfolded. I stand against a wall.  Someone I can't see throws a ball I can't see at me. Zing. I shrug and go to the side and try to find my glasses.  Loads and loads of fun.
 
2013-05-10 01:48:08 PM  
I don't know about you, but my PE teachers sucked. We spent most of our time doing sit ups and push ups. We hardly ever got to play any sports.
 
2013-05-10 01:48:46 PM  
I HATED PE.


However, kids today need exercise more than ever.
 
2013-05-10 01:49:33 PM  

IAmRight: I'm hardly an internet tough guy. But if dude got his face all broken due to a volleyball being used, he has a glass face. Or was doing something really stupid.


Neither but when you play for a School team, and you get hurt requiring a visit to the school nurse, you don't get to play in the school sponsored sporting event unless she says it is OK.  She didn't
 
2013-05-10 01:49:45 PM  

mattharvest: So, her whole argument is "I sucked at sports, so sports suck"?

I'm only moderately athletic, rowed crew in college but wasn't brilliant at it, etc. and know that my natural talents lie more in intellectual activities and so that's probably why I worked on them more, but where do you get the ego to think intellectual gifts are intrinsically better than physical?

The sheer chutzpah of acting like kids who are born 'smarter' are somehow better than kids who are born more 'athletic' is just insane, as if the two are somehow opposite ends of a spectrum.  They're completely distinct characteristics.  Kids should be praised for either or both, teaching them to love what they can do well so that they'll work to improve those things and hopefully achieve good or great things.  Telling athletic kids that they suck because they aren't smart enough is no better than telling smart kids they suck because they're not athletic enough.


My personal issue is with sports being put on such a farking pedestal.  My highschool football team usually had the best equipment and were treated better by "others in power" in the school.  while the band program had instruments older than some of the teachers and uniforms older than the students.
 
2013-05-10 01:49:45 PM  
www.uclaextension.edu

She's pretty okay looking with a good rack, too bad she got ruined by wymyn's studies and enough shrooms to make her brain smooth as a bowling ball.
 
2013-05-10 01:49:55 PM  

IAmRight: I'm hardly an internet tough guy. But if dude got his face all broken due to a volleyball being used, he has a glass face. Or was doing something really stupid.


Depends if they're using those shiatty plastic $5 volleyballs that public schools get.  Those things are hard as shiat.
 
2013-05-10 01:51:05 PM  
As a constant contender for "who'll be picked last" growing up, I didn't like playing Murder (the every man for himself version of Dodgeball) but I did like the team Dodgeball and Bombardment (there was a target pin for scoring in the back).  I beat up on people in gym soccer, wrestling and running and could hold my own in floor hockey but honestly I was small and that made the brute-force games really un-fun.

What I don't like is how f*cking lazy all those games made the gym teachers out to be.  I spent 13 years going to gym class and not one of those motherf*ckers ever took the time to show anyone the proper way to throw or catch sh*t.  It took me an hour or two to teach my 5-year-old perfect throwing form that I learned from a YouTube video.  You can't tell me all those 20-year-veteran jocks couldn't explain a bit of body mechanics.

Would it have been too hard for them to, you know, teach?
 
2013-05-10 01:51:20 PM  
Despite her lack of dodge-ball skills she looks like she made it through  life ok so far.

www.jessicaolien.com
 
2013-05-10 01:52:29 PM  

you have pee hands: IAmRight: I'm hardly an internet tough guy. But if dude got his face all broken due to a volleyball being used, he has a glass face. Or was doing something really stupid.

Depends if they're using those shiatty plastic $5 volleyballs that public schools get.  Those things are hard as shiat.


Add into that these were the shiatty plastic $5 volleyballs the volleyball coach deemed to worn out even for practice. (read the covers were cracked)
 
2013-05-10 01:53:52 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

Murder Ball was one variety of Dodge Ball, which (the way we played it) involved everybody trying to nail a person who was tagged "it." It was not usually officially sanctioned by the gym teachers, although I don't recall them ever stopping us from playing it during free time. There was also Prison Dodgeball (where team members were "taken prisoner" after being hit and could be freed to rejoin your team in what basically amounted to hostage exchanges); Pin Dodgeball (basic dodgeball with the addition of bowling that had to be protected by your team; if the pins were all knocked down, you lost, so the basic strategy was to stand your weakest players in front of the pins as human shields and do what you could to protect them from being nailed); Quad Dodge (a four-way dodgeball game where you were under threat from all sides); and many others. I loved them all.


I played all of those versions and hadn't thought about them in 20+ years. Thank you!
 
2013-05-10 01:54:33 PM  
When did this "I'm a whiny biatch" mentality become so popular and accepted in our society? I mean, wanting to ban something just because someone may get their feelings hurt? Are hurt feelings illegal now?

Seniors at my high school had the option to take lifetime fitness (90% of male athletes were in the class) or aerobics as an elective. It was awesome to finish every day with an hour or so of games. Of course, I always got destroyed in baseball, basketball, etc (I played soccer and ran track), but it was the best part of the school day.
 
2013-05-10 01:54:45 PM  
This chick is about 20 years late lampooning dodgeball.
 
2013-05-10 01:54:53 PM  

studs up: I posted several times in this thread and I don't think any of my posts were tagged as funny or smart. My self-esteem is really starting to trend down. I called my mom and she said you guys have to give me some kind of trophy for participating, or, there will be lawyers.


You'll only get a reply if you use an apostrophe incorrectly.  You will occasionally (rarely) get a reply to a relevant post, but...troll.

/I typically get a reply for one out of every 30 posts or so
//for having an apostrophe in the wrong place...
 
2013-05-10 01:55:16 PM  

nunyadang: Despite her lack of dodge-ball skills she looks like she made it through  life ok so far.

[www.jessicaolien.com image 418x428]


www.jessicaolien.com

Going right for the 22oz'er - not messing around with the little bottles
 
2013-05-10 01:55:20 PM  

Carn: massive water balloon fights.


So YOU'RE the reason there are shortages of fresh water in the developing world. Nice going.
 
2013-05-10 01:55:32 PM  

factoryconnection: What I don't like is how f*cking lazy all those games made the gym teachers out to be. I spent 13 years going to gym class and not one of those motherf*ckers ever took the time to show anyone the proper way to throw or catch sh*t. It took me an hour or two to teach my 5-year-old perfect throwing form that I learned from a YouTube video. You can't tell me all those 20-year-veteran jocks couldn't explain a bit of body mechanics.



That's so true, I never even thought about that. So after watching me miss the basket time after time after time, it never even occurred to the teacher to show me how to throw the damn thing correctly.


What a dick.
 
2013-05-10 01:57:14 PM  

you have pee hands: Depends if they're using those shiatty plastic $5 volleyballs that public schools get.


Sure...but you gotta hang back towards the back at the beginning and if you have any peripheral vision at all, you should be able to prevent anything from hitting your face. Could just be a freak hit though, I suppose. I mean, people die from tripping and falling on the ground sometimes and sometimes people don't die after falling out of a plane. Still no reason to hate the game. Dodgeball is great no matter what you play with.

/probably shouldn't play with golf balls or baseballs
 
2013-05-10 01:58:14 PM  

pute kisses like a man: the nerds have taken over. nerd skills are more profitable nowadays, so nerds are raising nerd children, with nerd values, nerd physicques and nerd beliefs.

it used to take brass balls to make money in this country. now it just takes nerd skills.


Maybe not.

Now that I'm a Grandfather, I will make damn sure that my Grandkids grow up learning how to enjoy the outside more than inside*. This was written when my Dad was 10. I think it's as great a guideline now as it was then and I will do my best to make sure they master most if not all of them. My Boys have conquered many of them but sadly not all (my fault).


*If we could get a decent rain, I could stock my cattle pond with some hybrid bluegill...they'd be great catchin' size by the time The Twins turn 5!
 
2013-05-10 01:58:49 PM  
stop liking what I don't like.
 
2013-05-10 01:59:24 PM  

vudukungfu: Screw sport.
Teach them Judo in elementary school and give classes in yoga, too.
Let them learn Aikido wrestling in Middle school and Kungfu boxing in highschool. Also teach logic.
Of course, the GOP doesn't want people who can disarm an asshole with a box cutter and can see through a bullshait reason to tax people to vote, so that will never happen.


FTFY

/BJJ, Muay Thai, and Kickboxing would also be acceptable.
 
2013-05-10 02:00:05 PM  
I've only had a couple PE teachers that actually did any kind of teaching. As in, this is how you shoot a basketball, throw a baseball, etc. But at the time most kids already knew how to do that kind of stuff, so I can see why a teacher might gloss over the details.
 
2013-05-10 02:01:29 PM  
Well, it sounds to me like someone always got picked last and it scarred her psyche pretty badly.
 
2013-05-10 02:01:42 PM  
Was going to come here to complain that I really don't see what people's problem with dodgeball is, but then I realized we never actually played it in high school.  In elementary school and junior high sure, and it was a blast, but in high school it was always basketball or running laps.
 
2013-05-10 02:01:44 PM  

bearcats1983: Seniors at my high school had the option to take lifetime fitness (90% of male athletes were in the class) or aerobics as an elective.


Lifetime fitness was amazing. We had a bowling alley across the street, so if you paid the $35 course fee, you could take lifetime fitness and go bowling every day for six weeks with free shoe rental and lane usage. Great for winter.

/also had racquet and team sports and others
//took PE every year since I had enough regular courses that I could've graduated as a junior, might as well have a fun part of the day
///always at the end of the day - no, I'm not showering at school with a bunch of dudes
 
2013-05-10 02:01:47 PM  
Article's author?

i486.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-10 02:01:51 PM  
Capture the Flag in the subdivision's retention basin for large groups, Pickle on the sidewalk when there were only a few of us.
 
2013-05-10 02:02:38 PM  
I was TERRIBLE at PE and I always hated team sports because I ALWAYS let the team down.  As a kid, you care about that shiat.  Now that I have a son, I think it's important to do at least a little team sports because if you don't do any, you lack understanding of the team dynamic.  It's a rare individual that does not WORK in the REAL WORLD on a team.  Fark exercise, this is about life.
 
2013-05-10 02:03:05 PM  

Magnanimous_J: factoryconnection: What I don't like is how f*cking lazy all those games made the gym teachers out to be. I spent 13 years going to gym class and not one of those motherf*ckers ever took the time to show anyone the proper way to throw or catch sh*t. It took me an hour or two to teach my 5-year-old perfect throwing form that I learned from a YouTube video. You can't tell me all those 20-year-veteran jocks couldn't explain a bit of body mechanics.

That's so true, I never even thought about that. So after watching me miss the basket time after time after time, it never even occurred to the teacher to show me how to throw the damn thing correctly.

What a dick.


"Those who can't do, teach.  Those who can't teach, teach gym."
 
2013-05-10 02:03:25 PM  

noitsnot: nunyadang: Despite her lack of dodge-ball skills she looks like she made it through  life ok so far.

[www.jessicaolien.com image 418x428]

[www.jessicaolien.com image 418x428]

Going right for the 22oz'er - not messing around with the little bottles


It looks like all she does is hate fark. I don't think she's ever made love in her life.
 
2013-05-10 02:04:32 PM  
I love these articles - all the jocks relive their glory days of abusing the little/fat/shy/weak kids, and call everyone who disagrees with them a pussy.

Ok, well how about we step it up a notch...instead of Dodge Ball, let the kids play Paint Ball. Even the little kid can pull a trigger, and being the oversized glandular freak means you make a bigger target. Of course, many of the jocks would come home covered from head to toe with bruises and crying about how all the nerds ganged up on him!

And we couldn't have the jocks looking like pussies, could we?
 
2013-05-10 02:05:31 PM  

IAmRight: Sure...but you gotta hang back towards the back at the beginning and if you have any peripheral vision at all, you should be able to prevent anything from hitting your face. Could just be a freak hit though, I suppose. I mean, people die from tripping and falling on the ground sometimes and sometimes people don't die after falling out of a plane. Still no reason to hate the game. Dodgeball is great no matter what you play with.


Maybe the old roll a ball near the middle line and then try to peg whoever goes for it in the head move.

/Our dumbest sport was softball because the school didn't have any gloves, so you brought your own or played barehanded.  Maybe I just went to a shiatty school.
 
2013-05-10 02:06:05 PM  

Pocket Ninja: I loved them all.


You monster.
 
2013-05-10 02:06:09 PM  
We had to learn how to line dance in PE.  Yeah.  I farking HATE country music, and hate frig-dancing even more.

/but we got to play lots of hockey and dodgeball
 
2013-05-10 02:06:38 PM  

Magnanimous_J: What a dick.


I do remember getting very specific instruction on shooting basketballs and tennis racket swings, so I will give credit for that.  But throwing a baseball, softball, volleyball, or dodgeball?  Nope.  I'm making up for that with my kids.  Well, I'm dubious about my middle daughter, though she is only three.

nunyadang: Despite her lack of dodge-ball skills she looks like she made it through  life ok so far.

[www.jessicaolien.com image 418x428]


She's hot and skinny; I can see how she might have sucked at sports.

studs up: I posted several times in this thread and I don't think any of my posts were tagged as funny or smart. My self-esteem is really starting to trend down. I called my mom and she said you guys have to give me some kind of trophy for participating, or, there will be lawyers.


If it makes you feel better, I've been coaching youth sports for six seasons and we don't do trophies unless someone wins a tournament.  We'll do "attaboys" for hustle and whatnot, but it is recognition of achievement, not merely presence.  However, the coach on the baseball team gave at least 20 pitches per at-bat to this one kid yesterday (max is six) instead of just sending him along.  It was painful for everyone involved, and fortunately the kid hasn't developed a sense of shame yet.
 
2013-05-10 02:06:46 PM  

mattharvest: So, her whole argument is "I sucked at sports, so sports suck"?

I'm only moderately athletic, rowed crew in college but wasn't brilliant at it, etc. and know that my natural talents lie more in intellectual activities and so that's probably why I worked on them more, but where do you get the ego to think intellectual gifts are intrinsically better than physical?

The sheer chutzpah of acting like kids who are born 'smarter' are somehow better than kids who are born more 'athletic' is just insane, as if the two are somehow opposite ends of a spectrum.  They're completely distinct characteristics.  Kids should be praised for either or both, teaching them to love what they can do well so that they'll work to improve those things and hopefully achieve good or great things.  Telling athletic kids that they suck because they aren't smart enough is no better than telling smart kids they suck because they're not athletic enough.


I think you may be taking too harsh a view- I think her point is less "sports suck" than " "there are or ought to be other ways to teach phys ed than team sports".

To use an academic comparison, most high schools have different levels of math- if you suck at math, you get put in a basic class, if you excel, they place you in advanced calculus. In gym, it's one-size-fits-all, and, unfortunately, what works for an athlete can be very alienating to someone lacking in physical prowess. As one of those people (not yet thirty & I've never been able to touch my toes in my life) a good class on stretching and some kind of progressive strength &/or endurance training would have been a lot more useful than five laps around the gym, gasping, followed by half an hour of trying to avoid a puck to the balls in floor hockey,

We've tried to set different academic levels so all kids get at least a basic education, why not try the same with phys ed?
 
2013-05-10 02:06:54 PM  

bearcats1983: When did this "I'm a whiny biatch" mentality become so popular and accepted in our society? I mean, wanting to ban something just because someone may get their feelings hurt? Are hurt feelings illegal now?


stickerheads.com
 
2013-05-10 02:07:20 PM  
internut scholar:
That sounds awesome.

We played medic ball. Each team had two medics that wore a mesh shirt. when you got hit, you would sit where you got hit. A medic could come over and drag you back behind the line and you were in the game again. So you would target their medics, because once you get both medics, no one can get back in. And in turn you would try to protect your medics.

it added some strategy.


We played this too, but the medics had a small square 4 wheeled scooter-type thing. They had to sit the "out" kid on the scooter and then pull him/her off. It made it interesting because then the medic could use the scooter as a shield when they were running out to rescue someone, but were defenseless when dragging someone back to the side.
 
2013-05-10 02:07:45 PM  

Private_Citizen: I love these articles - all the jocks relive their glory days of abusing the little/fat/shy/weak kids, and call everyone who disagrees with them a pussy.

Ok, well how about we step it up a notch...instead of Dodge Ball, let the kids play Paint Ball. Even the little kid can pull a trigger, and being the oversized glandular freak means you make a bigger target. Of course, many of the jocks would come home covered from head to toe with bruises and crying about how all the nerds ganged up on him!

And we couldn't have the jocks looking like pussies, could we?


You got smeared and are still seething with resentment, right?
 
2013-05-10 02:07:47 PM  
I weep for the future generations of pu&&ies we are creating.
 
2013-05-10 02:07:57 PM  

Trocadero: noitsnot: nunyadang: Despite her lack of dodge-ball skills she looks like she made it through  life ok so far.

[www.jessicaolien.com image 418x428]

[www.jessicaolien.com image 418x428]

Going right for the 22oz'er - not messing around with the little bottles

It looks like all she does is hate fark. I don't think she's ever made love in her life.


You make that sound like a bad thing.
 
2013-05-10 02:08:10 PM  

Rapmaster2000: basemetal: [fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net image 850x314]
This thread is making me want to get tickets to this.

I was in a dodgeball tournament in 2006 and 2007.  Those things are boozefests.  We started drinking at 7am.  Everyone was drunk.  It was great.


SOLD! where do I sign up?

From the looks of this chick in the pics above, seems like she should attend as well and bring her 22oz IPAs.
 
2013-05-10 02:08:15 PM  

PC LOAD LETTER: Dodgeball was validation for bullies. I see some folks think it was all fun and that those who got pounded "deserved it". And people wonder why kids want to kill their classmates. I know I did, and I am still not exactly sure how I am not in prison for life.

Now as an adult, I would LOVE to play it. Mainly because I am rather strong and have a massive tolerance for pain.



This came to mind immediately upon reading your tale.
joeskythedungeonbrawler.files.wordpress.com

"Look at the strength in your body, the desire in your heart, I gave you this! "

It was the dodgeball that made you strong, that made you impervious to pain. Embrace it.
 
2013-05-10 02:08:31 PM  

impaler: I sucked at team sports, but I loved dodgeball.

Kickball can go fark itself.


You sound like you always got picked next-to-last.
 
2013-05-10 02:09:45 PM  
Fun poll. Go ask some co-workers what sorts they did as kids.

The ones you like to work with will list team sports. The ones you dread being on a project will list individual sports.

/runners are the exception - but they rain as a team so it is more team than individual for them in high school usually.
 
2013-05-10 02:10:14 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Carn: massive water balloon fights.

So YOU'RE the reason there are shortages of fresh water in the developing world. Nice going.


Um, I can only take credit for water shortages which may or may not have occurred in central Indiana from the years roughly 1983-1997.

But seriously, those grenade shaped water balloons that could be filled humongous and broke easy.  Man they were awesome.
 
2013-05-10 02:10:54 PM  

Bruxellensis: We had to learn how to line dance in PE.  Yeah.  I farking HATE country music, and hate frig-dancing even more.

/but we got to play lots of hockey and dodgeball


Farking square dance week in PE.

GRRRRRRRRR!

I hated it with the fiery passion of one thousand suns.
 
2013-05-10 02:12:01 PM  

Carn: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Carn: massive water balloon fights.

So YOU'RE the reason there are shortages of fresh water in the developing world. Nice going.

Um, I can only take credit for water shortages which may or may not have occurred in central Indiana from the years roughly 1983-1997.

But seriously, those grenade shaped water balloons that could be filled humongous and broke easy.  Man they were awesome.


Ha! the grocery store near me put a bunch of those up in clearance...I might have bought a few packs to target my roommates...
 
2013-05-10 02:12:11 PM  

Private_Citizen: I love these articles - all the jocks relive their glory days of abusing the little/fat/shy/weak kids, and call everyone who disagrees with them a pussy.

Ok, well how about we step it up a notch...instead of Dodge Ball, let the kids play Paint Ball. Even the little kid can pull a trigger, and being the oversized glandular freak means you make a bigger target. Of course, many of the jocks would come home covered from head to toe with bruises and crying about how all the nerds ganged up on him!

And we couldn't have the jocks looking like pussies, could we?



Fantasizing about highschool kids crying is really unhealthy...let it go man...
 
2013-05-10 02:12:20 PM  
Welcome to mainstream liberal America
 
2013-05-10 02:12:25 PM  

Private_Citizen: I love these articles - all the jocks relive their glory days of abusing the little/fat/shy/weak kids, and call everyone who disagrees with them a pussy.

Ok, well how about we step it up a notch...instead of Dodge Ball, let the kids play Paint Ball. Even the little kid can pull a trigger, and being the oversized glandular freak means you make a bigger target. Of course, many of the jocks would come home covered from head to toe with bruises and crying about how all the nerds ganged up on him!

And we couldn't have the jocks looking like pussies, could we?


www.crownawards.com
 
2013-05-10 02:13:09 PM  
ManateeGag:  when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.

So it's the perfect Libertarian sport.
 
2013-05-10 02:14:25 PM  

IAmRight: you have pee hands: Depends if they're using those shiatty plastic $5 volleyballs that public schools get.

Sure...but you gotta hang back towards the back at the beginning and if you have any peripheral vision at all, you should be able to prevent anything from hitting your face. Could just be a freak hit though, I suppose. I mean, people die from tripping and falling on the ground sometimes and sometimes people don't die after falling out of a plane. Still no reason to hate the game. Dodgeball is great no matter what you play with.

/probably shouldn't play with golf balls or baseballs


I would suggest not playing dodgeball on your knees upon those folding gymnastics mats. We had to do that in high school PE once, after we'd finished with the gymnastics unit. (I was hilariously, but not surprisingly, awful at gymnastics.) It was knee dodgeball, played with Nerf balls. You'd think that would be the most harmless iteration of dodgeball ever, but you can get some painful rug burn doing that. At least my glasses were in no danger, but my knees really stung for a few days.

/They healed.
//I got over it.
///But knee dodgeball kinda sucks.
 
2013-05-10 02:14:31 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: PC LOAD LETTER: Dodgeball was validation for bullies. I see some folks think it was all fun and that those who got pounded "deserved it". And people wonder why kids want to kill their classmates. I know I did, and I am still not exactly sure how I am not in prison for life.

Now as an adult, I would LOVE to play it. Mainly because I am rather strong and have a massive tolerance for pain.


This came to mind immediately upon reading your tale.
[joeskythedungeonbrawler.files.wordpress.com image 320x240]

"Look at the strength in your body, the desire in your heart, I gave you this! "

It was the dodgeball that made you strong, that made you impervious to pain. Embrace it.


That made my day. Thank you.
 
2013-05-10 02:14:38 PM  
cdn103.iofferphoto.com
 
2013-05-10 02:14:39 PM  
Sucking at sports gets you teased and that makes the author of TFA weep. Let's make academics into a competition where everyone can demolish and belittle the stupid people. That should balance it out.

Since I was on the tennis and track team, I didn't have to play with the other kids. The gym teacher let all the athletes use the weight room or run the track if they didn't want to play dodgeball or line dance or whatever.
 
2013-05-10 02:14:41 PM  
CSB

Four years of soccer as a kid and being a half back/back up goalie for all of them makes one quite the terror in a game where you can eliminate people by catching things they throw at you. At least that's how we played it in school.

/CSB
 
2013-05-10 02:15:15 PM  

AbbeySomeone: Private_Citizen: I love these articles - all the jocks relive their glory days of abusing the little/fat/shy/weak kids, and call everyone who disagrees with them a pussy.

Ok, well how about we step it up a notch...instead of Dodge Ball, let the kids play Paint Ball. Even the little kid can pull a trigger, and being the oversized glandular freak means you make a bigger target. Of course, many of the jocks would come home covered from head to toe with bruises and crying about how all the nerds ganged up on him!

And we couldn't have the jocks looking like pussies, could we?

You got smeared and are still seething with resentment, right?


Nah, I was (and am) a martial artist, so I could catch the ball pretty well. Made it the finals in the school wide Dodge Ball tourney even - I just wouldn't target the little kids like the sociopaths did (besides, the more athletic ones are a bigger threat).

Still, if you level the playing field, and give the little kid the same chance as the big kid, I think some of the bigger kids would have to quickly develop strategies for coping with losing. And from what I saw, there was no whiny biatch quite like the uber star jock who suddenly loses to some little kid.
 
2013-05-10 02:15:17 PM  

Carn: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Carn: massive water balloon fights.

So YOU'RE the reason there are shortages of fresh water in the developing world. Nice going.

Um, I can only take credit for water shortages which may or may not have occurred in central Indiana from the years roughly 1983-1997.

But seriously, those grenade shaped water balloons that could be filled humongous and broke easy.  Man they were awesome.


I know!  Shhh, don't tell anyone, but I still fondly recall an epic, neighborhood-wide water fight when I was a kid in the 70's. Hoses blasting from the tree-house, wash-tubs stocked with those grenade balloons, it was glorious. But it was California, and when we had the droughts in '76 and '77 such things were forbidden forever.
 
2013-05-10 02:16:51 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: Bruxellensis: We had to learn how to line dance in PE.  Yeah.  I farking HATE country music, and hate frig-dancing even more.

/but we got to play lots of hockey and dodgeball

Farking square dance week in PE.

GRRRRRRRRR!

I hated it with the fiery passion of one thousand suns.


Sorry to hear.  Although, admittedly, I'm glad it wasn't just our school.
 
2013-05-10 02:17:05 PM  

Taoist Jedi: mattharvest: So, her whole argument is "I sucked at sports, so sports suck"?

I'm only moderately athletic, rowed crew in college but wasn't brilliant at it, etc. and know that my natural talents lie more in intellectual activities and so that's probably why I worked on them more, but where do you get the ego to think intellectual gifts are intrinsically better than physical?

The sheer chutzpah of acting like kids who are born 'smarter' are somehow better than kids who are born more 'athletic' is just insane, as if the two are somehow opposite ends of a spectrum.  They're completely distinct characteristics.  Kids should be praised for either or both, teaching them to love what they can do well so that they'll work to improve those things and hopefully achieve good or great things.  Telling athletic kids that they suck because they aren't smart enough is no better than telling smart kids they suck because they're not athletic enough.

I think you may be taking too harsh a view- I think her point is less "sports suck" than " "there are or ought to be other ways to teach phys ed than team sports".

To use an academic comparison, most high schools have different levels of math- if you suck at math, you get put in a basic class, if you excel, they place you in advanced calculus. In gym, it's one-size-fits-all, and, unfortunately, what works for an athlete can be very alienating to someone lacking in physical prowess. As one of those people (not yet thirty & I've never been able to touch my toes in my life) a good class on stretching and some kind of progressive strength &/or endurance training would have been a lot more useful than five laps around the gym, gasping, followed by half an hour of trying to avoid a puck to the balls in floor hockey,

We've tried to set different academic levels so all kids get at least a basic education, why not try the same with phys ed?


I spent my whole life doing sports; starting with pee-wee football at age 6 and was on some team until I graduated from college.  Having said that, I can't believe how bad that system was for teaching even the basics of fitness.  It was more 'some old angry guy yelling at you to beat the snot out of some other guy'.  Yeah - we spent time 'lifting weights' or 'running' but it was poorly structured and designed to be miserable.

I had no idea there was an alternative way to work out.
 
2013-05-10 02:17:16 PM  

Trocadero: noitsnot: nunyadang: Despite her lack of dodge-ball skills she looks like she made it through  life ok so far.

[www.jessicaolien.com image 418x428]

[www.jessicaolien.com image 418x428]

Going right for the 22oz'er - not messing around with the little bottles

It looks like all she does is hate fark. I don't think she's ever made love in her life.


Niiicccccce.
 
2013-05-10 02:17:42 PM  

Aarontology: You mean the most awesome team sport of all.


THIS!!!

Best warm up sessions I ever had were when we'd pay dodgeball for about half an hour prior to jujitsu practice.

/favorite sessions were when obstacles were used, or when only jujitsu stances and manuvers could be used for movement
 
2013-05-10 02:19:40 PM  

Tellingthem: Carn: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Carn: massive water balloon fights.

So YOU'RE the reason there are shortages of fresh water in the developing world. Nice going.

Um, I can only take credit for water shortages which may or may not have occurred in central Indiana from the years roughly 1983-1997.

But seriously, those grenade shaped water balloons that could be filled humongous and broke easy.  Man they were awesome.

Ha! the grocery store near me put a bunch of those up in clearance...I might have bought a few packs to target my roommates...


I remember the biggest biatch of them was filling them and getting them to the fight location without breaking them prematurely.  And those little colored ones never liked to break and god damn that hurt getting hit with those.
 
2013-05-10 02:20:03 PM  
I don't get how you could hate dodgeball.  It was the "team sport" where you truly lived or died by your own sword for most the game.  Obviously if one team was superior you were eventually farked because it would end up on 5 v 1 or something like that, but early on your ability to catch balls and nail other people was the sole thing that mattered.

If you can't at least make an effort to nail the biggest douchebag in your class with a ball, I have  no respect for you as a person.
 
2013-05-10 02:20:11 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: ManateeGag: when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.

We played with tennis balls too. Nowadays I think they'd call in grief counselors to share our feelings about some of the bruising we took.

I brought this up in a conversation with a group of my old high school classmates last year. The catalyst was this article. Now, most of my classmates' kids are getting into the late teen age range but there are still a few who started late. My question was when did we become such shiatty parents where we were so overly concerned about our kids and why? When we were growing up, many of our Fathers were WWII and/or Korea vets. We were all but expected to get into fights, (get caught fighting in school you'd get hauled to the gym, put on gloves and headgear and duke it out until tired then get a swat or two and sent to class), get cuts and scrapes, break a bone or two and into mischief. You might get your ass kicked, some stitches, wince at Bactine's sting or wear a cast for a couple of months but it was all part of growing up. A standard reply when you thought you were wronged was 'life's not fair'.

I'm stunned at how parents (when they have parents but that's a whole 'nuther conversation) act towards their kids today. Everyone's a winner, there are no losers, call the cops when a couple of 13 year olds squab on the ball field after school...These parents are in their late 30s to late 40s...just about my age and down. What made them such pussies?


I can tell you what happened, Columbine. I was in middle school when that occurred, and the changes that took place practically overnight were huge. Prior to Columbine, I never saw a cop working security in a school, and when kids got into a fight, the worst punishment they would receive was detention. Post Columbine, there was always a cop in school, any fights would result in all participants being led out of the building in handcuffs. It just all rolled downhill from there.
 
2013-05-10 02:20:54 PM  

Fark_Guy_Rob: Yeah - we spent time 'lifting weights' or 'running' but it was poorly structured and designed to be miserable.

I had no idea there was an alternative way to work out.


Lifting weights and running are miserable. What's fun is doing things with a team.
 
2013-05-10 02:22:06 PM  

IAmRight: Fark_Guy_Rob: Yeah - we spent time 'lifting weights' or 'running' but it was poorly structured and designed to be miserable.

I had no idea there was an alternative way to work out.

Lifting weights and running are miserable. What's fun is doing things with a team.


Racquetball is fun
 
2013-05-10 02:22:43 PM  

Agnes Gonxha's Confidant: I played dodgeball for the first time when I was 30 (two years ago).

It is without a doubt the most fun I have ever had playing sports. My fat teammates had fun too. There is this unspoken loyalty in every team. The athletic dudes protect the slow pokes and some even sacrifice themselves to expose the adversaries.

I say we need more dodgeball in schools.

/serious


to say I was nerdy growing up is an understatement. I was a tape-on-the-glasses, d&d playing geek. while other kids were behind the library smoking and making out, I was in the library reading. I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was a teenager.

and I loved dodge ball.

the idea that some people are anti-dodge ball is so foreign to me, I cannot relate to those people.

torture terrorist suspects? well, if it gets them talking. gays going to hell? not my interpretation of the Bible, but I'm no scholar. Obama really from Kenya? doubtful, but I wasn't in the delivery room. ban dodge ball? DIAF.

kids these days could use a couple more balls to the face.

/have a seat over where?
//that's not what I meant
 
2013-05-10 02:22:51 PM  

ha-ha-guy: Obviously if one team was superior you were eventually farked because it would end up on 5 v 1 or something like that, but early on your ability to catch balls and nail other people was the sole thing that mattered.


And when you're the last person you hang out toward the back and you avoid throws below your waist (harder to catch and if you f*ck up then you have less time to try to react) and try to catch anything you think you can get (which brings your whole damn team back into the game in some variations, otherwise returns someone else to the game in other variations, or at least gets that person out of the game in the short version of the game).
 
2013-05-10 02:23:44 PM  

studs up: Racquetball is fun


True, but that's not lifting weights or running.
 
2013-05-10 02:24:23 PM  

Carn: Tellingthem: Carn: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Carn: massive water balloon fights.

So YOU'RE the reason there are shortages of fresh water in the developing world. Nice going.

Um, I can only take credit for water shortages which may or may not have occurred in central Indiana from the years roughly 1983-1997.

But seriously, those grenade shaped water balloons that could be filled humongous and broke easy.  Man they were awesome.

Ha! the grocery store near me put a bunch of those up in clearance...I might have bought a few packs to target my roommates...

I remember the biggest biatch of them was filling them and getting them to the fight location without breaking them prematurely.  And those little colored ones never liked to break and god damn that hurt getting hit with those.


Oh yeah that was always the interesting part. Filling them up on the spigot was damn near Russian roulette. The necks always seemed to burst right as you were taking them off. I always liked how how you could tell where we played the most because the yard was much greener there.
 
2013-05-10 02:24:33 PM  

studs up: IAmRight: Fark_Guy_Rob: Yeah - we spent time 'lifting weights' or 'running' but it was poorly structured and designed to be miserable.

I had no idea there was an alternative way to work out.

Lifting weights and running are miserable. What's fun is doing things with a team.

Racquetball is fun


I really enjoyed Racquetball in college - it's a fun, fast game!
 
2013-05-10 02:24:38 PM  
spman:
I can tell you what happened, Columbine. I was in middle school when that occurred, and the changes that took place practically overnight were huge. Prior to Columbine, I never saw a cop working security in a school, and when kids got into a fight, the worst punishment they would receive was detention. Post Columbine, there was always a cop in school, any fights would result i ...

Hmm.  I was in college wen that happened.  When I would fight in middle school (never fought in high school) the worst I got was a 3 day detention.
 
2013-05-10 02:26:12 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Carn: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Carn: massive water balloon fights.

So YOU'RE the reason there are shortages of fresh water in the developing world. Nice going.

Um, I can only take credit for water shortages which may or may not have occurred in central Indiana from the years roughly 1983-1997.

But seriously, those grenade shaped water balloons that could be filled humongous and broke easy.  Man they were awesome.

I know!  Shhh, don't tell anyone, but I still fondly recall an epic, neighborhood-wide water fight when I was a kid in the 70's. Hoses blasting from the tree-house, wash-tubs stocked with those grenade balloons, it was glorious. But it was California, and when we had the droughts in '76 and '77 such things were forbidden forever.


We totally had hose fights too when we got older except one summer mom and dad were horrified to discover the water bill one month and we were banned from hose fights.  They still let us play with squirt guns, water balloons and our slip and slide (and crocodile mile!).  Of course, we used to ride our bikes a couple miles to the store and buy all this crap ourselves at the Ben Franklin with our allowance money.  Super soakers changed the game forever.  Kids these days aren't allowed to have any fun at all.  We used to go creek stomping for miles and come home filthy and with whatever critters we found.  We rode our bikes about 5 miles down the train tracks just to see where it went.  We'd routinely ride our bikes across town which was something like 15 miles round trip.  I was a little chunky, but nobody in our neighborhood was fat.  Go figure.

/get the hell off my lawn!
 
2013-05-10 02:27:46 PM  

IAmRight: Fark_Guy_Rob: Yeah - we spent time 'lifting weights' or 'running' but it was poorly structured and designed to be miserable.

I had no idea there was an alternative way to work out.

Lifting weights and running are miserable. What's fun is doing things with a team.


Lifting weights is awesome.  Without it I'd be way fatter than I already am.
 
2013-05-10 02:27:58 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: Farking square dance week in PE.


My grandfather's last gift to me was that he died on Monday of square dance week and I got a week off of school for his funeral.
 
2013-05-10 02:30:05 PM  
I skipped a grade early on and was always a year younger than everyone else, and at the smaller end of the "within-normal-limits" scale to begin with. I sucked at basketball and still do. Not so good at baseball. Too small to be any use in football. I was mediocre at soccer. I was odd because I used "big words", so I was a target for bullies at school. Not the primary target, but one of opportunity.

I could climb the rope in the gym like a squirrel, though, and I excelled at the dodgeball because I was agile and fast. I was bullied out in the world, but in the dodgeball arena the bullies could not touch me.
 
2013-05-10 02:30:14 PM  

Bruxellensis: DROxINxTHExWIND: Bruxellensis: We had to learn how to line dance in PE.  Yeah.  I farking HATE country music, and hate frig-dancing even more.

/but we got to play lots of hockey and dodgeball

Farking square dance week in PE.

GRRRRRRRRR!

I hated it with the fiery passion of one thousand suns.

Sorry to hear.  Although, admittedly, I'm glad it wasn't just our school.


It was especially stressful when you didn't get paired up with the girl you wanted and you had to spend a week promenading with Big Shirley Manhands.
 
2013-05-10 02:31:18 PM  

Tellingthem: Carn: Tellingthem: Carn: AngryJailhouseFistfark: Carn: massive water balloon fights.

So YOU'RE the reason there are shortages of fresh water in the developing world. Nice going.

Um, I can only take credit for water shortages which may or may not have occurred in central Indiana from the years roughly 1983-1997.

But seriously, those grenade shaped water balloons that could be filled humongous and broke easy.  Man they were awesome.

Ha! the grocery store near me put a bunch of those up in clearance...I might have bought a few packs to target my roommates...

I remember the biggest biatch of them was filling them and getting them to the fight location without breaking them prematurely.  And those little colored ones never liked to break and god damn that hurt getting hit with those.

Oh yeah that was always the interesting part. Filling them up on the spigot was damn near Russian roulette. The necks always seemed to burst right as you were taking them off. I always liked how how you could tell where we played the most because the yard was much greener there.


Damnit now I wish I lived closer to the nephew so I could buy some and nail him with them.
 
2013-05-10 02:31:49 PM  
assets.nydailynews.com

"One day I'll work for Slate and you'll regret you did this!"
 
2013-05-10 02:33:07 PM  

PowerSlacker: Here's some more of Jessica Olien's "work" in case you hate yourself.




Sadly she is in position to influence others with her squishy ideas:

I also teach writing courses at UCLA, NYU and Mediabistro.

Sort of not unattractive but would have to see her naked to be sure

www.jessicaolien.com
 
2013-05-10 02:33:14 PM  

IAmRight: studs up: Racquetball is fun

True, but that's not lifting weights or running.


shiat. I must be doing it wrong.
 
2013-05-10 02:33:22 PM  

Moonfisher: Sucking at sports gets you teased and that makes the author of TFA weep. Let's make academics into a competition where everyone can demolish and belittle the stupid people. That should balance it out.


I still remember in 7th grade having to apologize to a classmate named Ralph whose feelings I'd hurt by calling him stupid, after he demonstrated how stupid he was in science class.  The teachers had nothing to do with this, it was peer-level coercion.  Popular/jock-ish kids without a hint of irony getting on my case for making him feel the sting of his shortcomings.

But you know what?  For once it was just them doing the right thing.  I didn't need to be picking on the simple minded.

spman: I can tell you what happened, Columbine.


All this fuss over one measly, little, mass-murder spree?  Some people.
 
2013-05-10 02:35:22 PM  

pute kisses like a man: meat0918: Dancin_In_Anson: ManateeGag: when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.

We played with tennis balls too. Nowadays I think they'd call in grief counselors to share our feelings about some of the bruising we took.

I brought this up in a conversation with a group of my old high school classmates last year. The catalyst was this article. Now, most of my classmates' kids are getting into the late teen age range but there are still a few who started late. My question was when did we become such shiatty parents where we were so overly concerned about our kids and why? When we were growing up, many of our Fathers were WWII and/or Korea vets. We were all but expected to get into fights, (get caught fighting in school you'd get hauled to the gym, put on gloves and headgear and duke it out until tired then get a swat or two and sent to class), get cuts and scrapes, break a bone or two and into mischief. You might get your ass kicked, some stitches, wince at Bactine's sting or wear a cast for a couple of months but it was all part of growing up. A standard reply when you thought you were wronged was 'life's not fair'.

I'm stunned at how parents (when they have parents but that's a whole 'nuther conversation) act towards their kids today. Everyone's a winner, there are no losers, call the cops when a couple of 13 year olds squab on the ball field after school...These parents are in their late 30s to late 40s...just about my age and down. What made them such pussies?

The media.

the nerds have taken over.  nerd skills are more profitable nowadays, so nerds are raising nerd children, with nerd values, nerd physicques and nerd beliefs.

it used to take brass balls to make money in this country.  now it just takes nerd skills.


I am a 25-year-old nerd and I loved dodgeball. Wasn't the best, wasn't the worst, but I got out there and kicked some ass.
 
2013-05-10 02:36:33 PM  
We played a game in middle school that we called "Ethiopian Escape".
take a soccer field and ~75 kids.
lay out squares with cones in all 4 corners of the field. place 5 soccer balls each in 2 of the squares.
the remaining 2 squares are the "jail".

also lay out a 5 yard wide "no-man's land" over the center line.

the goal was to get all of the soccer balls onto your side of the field.

crossing into enemy territory meant you could be tagged. if you were tagged, you went to jail. if you made it to the soccer balls, you could stay inside the square without fear of being tagged, but were at risk as soon as you left (carrying at most a single soccer ball)

tagging a person on your own team who was in the jail set them free (they got a free walk back to their home side). Prisoners were allowed to make a chain towards the center line, so long as 1 person kept a foot inside the jail, and only a single person needed to be touched to set everyone free.

fun game.
 
2013-05-10 02:36:41 PM  
Problem solved.
bbsimg.ngfiles.com
 
2013-05-10 02:38:34 PM  

nunyadang


Despite her lack of dodge-ball skills she looks like she made it through life ok so far.


Yup, she's got a beer, a pick-up truck, a cartoon raccoon, and what appears to be a gin-yu-wine cinder block and dirt driveway. High on the hog, indeed.
 
2013-05-10 02:39:39 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: PC LOAD LETTER: Dodgeball was validation for bullies. I see some folks think it was all fun and that those who got pounded "deserved it". And people wonder why kids want to kill their classmates. I know I did, and I am still not exactly sure how I am not in prison for life.

Now as an adult, I would LOVE to play it. Mainly because I am rather strong and have a massive tolerance for pain.


This came to mind immediately upon reading your tale.
[joeskythedungeonbrawler.files.wordpress.com image 320x240]

"Look at the strength in your body, the desire in your heart, I gave you this! "

It was the dodgeball that made you strong, that made you impervious to pain. Embrace it.


You don't have adult dodgeball leagues? In my hometown it's a pretty popular adult sport. I used to play on a team until my buddy spiral fractured his arm throwing it. Now I do adult kickball twice a week and softball in the summers.

It's funny, all the games they are trying to eliminate in gym classes now are exploding in the adult populations almost simultaneously because many of us missed those sports. My town, Rochester, NY, has the largest adult kickball league in the nation (over 5000 players) for a reason - namely we like to drink and have fun.
 
2013-05-10 02:41:25 PM  

groppet: sigdiamond2000: Dancin_In_Anson: ManateeGag: when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.

We played with tennis balls too. Nowadays I think they'd call in grief counselors to share our feelings about some of the bruising we took.

I brought this up in a conversation with a group of my old high school classmates last year. The catalyst was this article. Now, most of my classmates' kids are getting into the late teen age range but there are still a few who started late. My question was when did we become such shiatty parents where we were so overly concerned about our kids and why?

I'm almost 40. When I was a kid in the summertime, I would basically disappear, every day, between 8 AM and 10 PM, going pretty much anywhere I wanted to and I'd come home dirty, injured, and exhausted. Every day.

Now, my nieces and nephews are never, ever more than 10 feet away from their parents and are never outside. Whenever one of them somehow wanders away from their invisible umbilical cord, their parents are practically on the phone to the police.
I don't understand what happened either.

Yeah in the summertime the only time you would see me at home was for lunch. Sometimes we were so dirty when we got back from whatever we were doing mom would turn the hose on us before she let us in the house.


well, if it put the lotion on the basket, it wouldn't get the hose.
 
2013-05-10 02:42:57 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: nunyadang

Despite her lack of dodge-ball skills she looks like she made it through life ok so far.


Yup, she's got a beer, a pick-up truck, a cartoon raccoon, and what appears to be a gin-yu-wine cinder block and dirt driveway. High on the hog, indeed.


bigbaddie.com
 
2013-05-10 02:44:57 PM  
We played Nuke 'Em a lot in gym class when I was in middle school (87-90). Basically 15 people on each side of a volleyball net. One person would throw the ball over the net, and if someone catches it, then the person who threw it is out. If it hits the floor whoever's closest to the ball is out.
 
2013-05-10 02:45:03 PM  

studs up: shiat. I must be doing it wrong.


I mean, the racquets are pretty light. And yeah, you're running, but with a purpose besides "because I'm runniing."
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-05-10 02:47:44 PM  
www.xojane.com

Oh WOW.. She's WAY below my standards.  I mean.. limp city.
 
2013-05-10 02:49:18 PM  

OscarTamerz: [www.uclaextension.edu image 233x350]

She's pretty okay looking with a good rack, too bad she got ruined by wymyn's studies and enough shrooms to make her brain smooth as a bowling ball.


She seems like the kind of person who is so open minded that her brain walked off.
 
2013-05-10 02:49:32 PM  

DROxINxTHExWIND: Bruxellensis: DROxINxTHExWIND: Bruxellensis: We had to learn how to line dance in PE.  Yeah.  I farking HATE country music, and hate frig-dancing even more.

/but we got to play lots of hockey and dodgeball

Farking square dance week in PE.

GRRRRRRRRR!

I hated it with the fiery passion of one thousand suns.

Sorry to hear.  Although, admittedly, I'm glad it wasn't just our school.

It was especially stressful when you didn't get paired up with the girl you wanted and you had to spend a week promenading with Big Shirley Manhands.


Fortunately, I don't remember having to pair up.
 
2013-05-10 02:49:33 PM  

KyngNothing: NutWrench: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

They called it, "smear the queer (with the ball)" when I was a kid. I have no idea why: none of us knew what a queer was.

See for us, "smear the queer" was basically "group + 1 rugby" - the entire group would try and tackle the person with the ball, until they gave up, and threw it up in the air, for everyone to try and get. You could also get tackled if you gave up too easily, or didn't try to get the free ball hard enough.

(northern MD, 1980s)


Same in Michigan.

In high school, we played a variant of this, which took place in a hallway. I don't recall anyone ever making it all the way down the hallway.
 
2013-05-10 02:55:12 PM  
factory connection I can tell you what happened, Columbine.

All this fuss over one measly, little, mass-murder spree?  Some people.


This thread was very heartening to read with so many basically level headed people with a good sense of playfulness and very few whiny social agenda types venting their high school frustrations of failure.

Guess it couldn't last
 
2013-05-10 02:55:15 PM  
I graduated high school in 1999. As a California school, mine went crazy a bit earlier than the average.
Iron-clad rule: Any two students involved in a fight are to be punished equally.
So... when a kid walked up and punched me in the face because someone told him I had hit on his girlfriend (Completely untrue, I was a library nerd), I reported it, I got suspended! Why? "You must have done something to provoke him."

And of course, when the bullies learned that, it got far worse. If you were a 'good student' you couldn't defend yourself, because you'd get in far more trouble (proportionately) than the bully who hit you.
 
2013-05-10 02:57:05 PM  
Didn't check TFA, but I am guessing that there's not even a half-hearted attempt to back up that claim with science.
 
2013-05-10 02:57:24 PM  
When I was a kid, dodgeball was great.  I knew it would be a good PE day when the coach said it was dodgeball day.  And no one got farking hurt!!!  The best was when it got too cold to go outside for recess (-20 or colder) and we would go to the gym for recess it would be a class vs class dodgeball game.  When the district banned dodgeball for some asinine reason that winter there really wasn't another game that could be played in the gym that was an entire class against another entire class.  So it became sitting in the bleachers while watching five select students from one class play basket ball against five students from another class.  Dull enough to make us willing to play outside at -30.
 
2013-05-10 02:58:22 PM  

Carn: But seriously, those grenade shaped water balloons that could be filled humongous and broke easy. Man they were awesome.


Pshaw.
thetoyzone.com
Did you know that at 75-mph, water balloons will whistle through the air? Or that they can put a hole in a Baby Grand piano?
 
kab
2013-05-10 02:59:23 PM  
Unsurprisingly, lots of knee jerkers in this thread didn't RTFA.
 
2013-05-10 03:04:00 PM  

Pocket Ninja: There was also Prison Dodgeball (where team members were "taken prisoner" after being hit and could be freed to rejoin your team in what basically amounted to hostage exchanges);


We had something like this, except we called it "Jailbreak." Played in an indoor basketball court, with one team staying on each half and throwing at each other. If you got hit, you had to go sit in the "jail," which was the freethrow box in the opposite team's side. If someone managed to hit the opposing team's backboard, then all the "prisoners" from their team would be freed. Game ends when one side is 100% jailed.

No idea if they're still playing it at my middle school, but my old boy scout troop was still playing it when I last visited in 2011.
 
2013-05-10 03:04:42 PM  

darth_badger: [cdn103.iofferphoto.com image 522x580]


Still have it.  In the original box, looks just like that.  Mostly, it's been taped together at the corners.

Taught my 6 & 8 year old grand-nephews how to play last year.  The other ones have to get a bit older, the Jarts are nearly as tall as they are right now.
 
2013-05-10 03:04:54 PM  
We played a variant of dodgeball in school, and it was brutal.  It's been 35 years or so, and I don't remember what it was called (trenchball, maybe?).  There were no sides...the entire gym was in play for a massive free-for-all.  The whole class would spread out in the gym, and the coaches would throw about 10 of those heavy rubber balls onto the floor.  Since you've got multiple people scrambling for the same ball, the guy who got there second was farked, because the guy who got there first had a free head shot at a range of about 2 feet and would absolutely obliterate you.  Generally, half the class was lying on the sidelines within the first 20 seconds, and then the game settled in.  The strategy became to decide if you could make it to a loose ball before someone else, and if not head the other direction fast.  As the herd thinned more, inevitably one of the stronger players would gravitate towards the phalanx of girls cowering in the corner and commit genocide on them with extreme prejudice.  After the game, everyone would go out on the floor and pick up all the glasses, retainers, shoes, etc. that were strewn about and do it again.  When the coaches announced that we were playing trenchball, about 20 percent of the class was ecstatic, and the other 80 percent wished they were home with the flu...the fear was palpable.  God I loved that game.
 
2013-05-10 03:07:02 PM  

Fuggin Bizzy: Oh, crybabies. I got pegged right in the head with a dodgeball by a much larger and stronger classmate at point-plank rngee and\=
 osnthsa-zcdr-4ghzTt15/-8f8r-vn92/0=
g.luchtao-nisal+4

Thank you senator, good to meet you as well. Say hello to your lovely wife for me.



Best anecdote yet!
 
2013-05-10 03:07:17 PM  
Anyone remember Capture the Flag?

We played outrageous, engrossing games of Capture the Flag as kids/teenagers. Typically, the game started at dusk and ran an hour or two after dark.

If you're not familiar: playing "field" is divided into two sides. This could be a playground, a whole neighborhood, or, the best for me, a rural 500 acre summer camp (co-ed, 80 other kids same age). Each side has a flag, secured at the rear of the team's territory. There is a jail on each side. The goal of the game is to sneak across (or bum-rush), grab the opposing team's flag, and get the flag back across to your side without being caught. If you crossed enemy lines and got tagged, you had to go to the enemy jail. Once in jail, a member of your own team could cross the lines, and if not caught, could tag you and set you free from jail.

It is a great game for large groups. We had such a blast playing that game as kids.
 
2013-05-10 03:10:10 PM  

This text is now purple: Carn: But seriously, those grenade shaped water balloons that could be filled humongous and broke easy. Man they were awesome.

Pshaw.
[thetoyzone.com image 280x280]
Did you know that at 75-mph, water balloons will whistle through the air? Or that they can put a hole in a Baby Grand piano?


We had an incident in high school during band camp where one of these was employed and an innocent bystand (another student) happened to accidentally walk through the blast zone.  He got nailed right in the solar plexus from about 100 yards and he went down hard.  He was alright, mostly knocked the wind out of him and bruised.  I'm sure it hurt like hell.  No one was arrested.
 
2013-05-10 03:12:48 PM  
Am I the only one here who played crab soccer on rainy days?  That was sweet.  They'd herd all the PE classes into the big gymnasium and haul out this ENORMOUS ball.  Everyone had to get down on hands and feet, facing upwards like a crab.  Split the huge group into two teams, with each assigned a wall. Points were scored by moving the ball far enough to hit the opposing wall, with the only rule being that at least three limbs had to be touching the ground at all times (i.e. you could use only one foot or hand at a time to move the ball, or any other part of your body). Everyone was potentially offense or defense at any time. Much screaming and climbing over bodies ensued.

If you want an aerobic sport that doesn't actually require athletic ability - in fact, it pretty much levels the playing field - and allows players to be as team-oriented or solo as they like, it's hard to beat that.  As a teenage runt with no hand-eye coordination and very little overall athletic ability, I really enjoyed that I could crab-scuttle with the best of them.

/which is to say, we all sucked equally, and the ball was pretty much in control of whether it hit the wall
 
2013-05-10 03:13:20 PM  

AngryJailhouseFistfark: PC LOAD LETTER: Dodgeball was validation for bullies. I see some folks think it was all fun and that those who got pounded "deserved it". And people wonder why kids want to kill their classmates. I know I did, and I am still not exactly sure how I am not in prison for life.

Now as an adult, I would LOVE to play it. Mainly because I am rather strong and have a massive tolerance for pain.


This came to mind immediately upon reading your tale.
[joeskythedungeonbrawler.files.wordpress.com image 320x240]

"Look at the strength in your body, the desire in your heart, I gave you this! "

It was the dodgeball that made you strong, that made you impervious to pain. Embrace it.


HHEEEEEEEGGFSWWS

//need a new keyboard now
 
2013-05-10 03:14:20 PM  

This text is now purple: KyngNothing: NutWrench: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

They called it, "smear the queer (with the ball)" when I was a kid. I have no idea why: none of us knew what a queer was.

See for us, "smear the queer" was basically "group + 1 rugby" - the entire group would try and tackle the person with the ball, until they gave up, and threw it up in the air, for everyone to try and get. You could also get tackled if you gave up too easily, or didn't try to get the free ball hard enough.

(northern MD, 1980s)

Same in Michigan.

In high school, we played a variant of this, which took place in a hallway. I don't recall anyone ever making it all the way down the hallway.


"The Gaunlet"

A lot of our games were based upon American Gladiators
 
2013-05-10 03:16:01 PM  
Our favorite game was to take off a tube sock (they were really long back on the day), put a tennis ball in it, and beat the ever-loving shiat out of each other with them.

We were beyond retarded.
 
2013-05-10 03:16:07 PM  

d23: [www.xojane.com image 460x306]

Oh WOW.. She's WAY below my standards.  I mean.. limp city.


She'll emasculate you with her incessant nagging though.  Although if you were to encounter her in the bar after she was three sheets to the wind and wanting to indulge her daddy issues, well then maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
 
2013-05-10 03:16:40 PM  

stevetherobot: Lorelle: I always viewed dodgeball as the one sport in which the weaklings could get back at the bullies for tormenting them the rest of the school day.

In my experience, the weaklings couldn't throw hard enough or accurately enough to get back at anyone, while the bullies endeavored to cause as much pain and humiliation as possible.


Mine was like this, especially in the version that was basically a free-for-all. The other thing was that the Special Ed kids would keep playing even if they got hit 4 or 5 times. They "won" over half the games we played, but we all still had fun.
 
2013-05-10 03:19:57 PM  
I loved dodgeball, but if you don't want to play in PE, you shouldn't have to. In my gym classes, if you wanted to opt out of team games, you could outside and run, or go to the weight room and lift. I suck at/hate basketball, so I'd skip that and go run laps. As long as you were active, it was all good, which is exactly how gym should be handled.

Also, our gym coach was pretty responsible and made sure that no one got picked on.
 
2013-05-10 03:20:56 PM  

ISubmittedThisYesterdayWithAMuchFunnierHeadline: We played a variant of dodgeball in school, and it was brutal.  It's been 35 years or so, and I don't remember what it was called (trenchball, maybe?).  There were no sides...the entire gym was in play for a massive free-for-all.  The whole class would spread out in the gym, and the coaches would throw about 10 of those heavy rubber balls onto the floor.  Since you've got multiple people scrambling for the same ball, the guy who got there second was farked, because the guy who got there first had a free head shot at a range of about 2 feet and would absolutely obliterate you.  Generally, half the class was lying on the sidelines within the first 20 seconds, and then the game settled in.  The strategy became to decide if you could make it to a loose ball before someone else, and if not head the other direction fast.  As the herd thinned more, inevitably one of the stronger players would gravitate towards the phalanx of girls cowering in the corner and commit genocide on them with extreme prejudice.  After the game, everyone would go out on the floor and pick up all the glasses, retainers, shoes, etc. that were strewn about and do it again.  When the coaches announced that we were playing trenchball, about 20 percent of the class was ecstatic, and the other 80 percent wished they were home with the flu...the fear was palpable.  God I loved that game.


This has to be where the beginning of the Hunger Games comes from...
 
2013-05-10 03:25:12 PM  
Yup, we played the version with the pins with nerf soccer balls. I wasn't one of the popular sporto kids, but I loved that game. From what I remember we all did.

Pocket Ninja: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

Murder Ball was one variety of Dodge Ball, which (the way we played it) involved everybody trying to nail a person who was tagged "it." It was not usually officially sanctioned by the gym teachers, although I don't recall them ever stopping us from playing it during free time. There was also Prison Dodgeball (where team members were "taken prisoner" after being hit and could be freed to rejoin your team in what basically amounted to hostage exchanges); Pin Dodgeball (basic dodgeball with the addition of bowling that had to be protected by your team; if the pins were all knocked down, you lost, so the basic strategy was to stand your weakest players in front of the pins as human shields and do what you could to protect them from being nailed); Quad Dodge (a four-way dodgeball game where you were under threat from all sides); and many others. I loved them all.

 
2013-05-10 03:28:00 PM  

R.A.Danny: Our favorite game was to take off a tube sock (they were really long back on the day), put a tennis ball in it, and beat the ever-loving shiat out of each other with them.

We were beyond retarded.


It's the Chicago way.
 
2013-05-10 03:28:16 PM  

R.A.Danny: Our favorite game was to take off a tube sock (they were really long back on the day), put a tennis ball in it, and beat the ever-loving shiat out of each other with them.

We were beyond retarded.


I had friends that would play "nutball." You'd pretty much catch your friend off guard and throw a tennis ball at their nuts when they least suspected it. I hated it and knew it was a terrible idea. I got hit one two many times and then caught one of the worst perpetrators watching a movie with his legs open, so I chucked an orange at his crotch. We didn't play it much more after that.

I knew a couple of guys that did it back-and-forth (back-to-back, with the tennis ball) as some kind of endurance test. I will never understand why.,
 
2013-05-10 03:30:08 PM  
Deprive children of the only fun activity in PE.
 
2013-05-10 03:33:16 PM  

Snakeophelia: Am I the only one here who played crab soccer on rainy days?  That was sweet.  They'd herd all the PE classes into the big gymnasium and haul out this ENORMOUS ball.  Everyone had to get down on hands and feet, facing upwards like a crab.  Split the huge group into two teams, with each assigned a wall. Points were scored by moving the ball far enough to hit the opposing wall, with the only rule being that at least three limbs had to be touching the ground at all times (i.e. you could use only one foot or hand at a time to move the ball, or any other part of your body). Everyone was potentially offense or defense at any time. Much screaming and climbing over bodies ensued.


That was an epic and completely enjoyable sport in every regard. They did it once or twice a year. I wish it was every day.
 
2013-05-10 03:38:19 PM  

PC LOAD LETTER: Snakeophelia: Am I the only one here who played crab soccer on rainy days?  That was sweet.  They'd herd all the PE classes into the big gymnasium and haul out this ENORMOUS ball.  Everyone had to get down on hands and feet, facing upwards like a crab.  Split the huge group into two teams, with each assigned a wall. Points were scored by moving the ball far enough to hit the opposing wall, with the only rule being that at least three limbs had to be touching the ground at all times (i.e. you could use only one foot or hand at a time to move the ball, or any other part of your body). Everyone was potentially offense or defense at any time. Much screaming and climbing over bodies ensued.

That was an epic and completely enjoyable sport in every regard. They did it once or twice a year. I wish it was every day.


Indeed, a fine game with much finger-stamping and head-kicking.
 
2013-05-10 03:40:49 PM  

impaler: I sucked at team sports, but I loved dodgeball.

Kickball can go fark itself.


I've been more hurt in a game of kickball than could have even come close to in a game of dodgeball.

/got hit by the ball in my legs while running between bases, I ended up doing a face slide into the ground between second and third.
 
2013-05-10 03:42:37 PM  
I for one welcome our new pussy overlords...

It makes dominating competitors in the real world that much easier for my son (Now 24)
 
2013-05-10 03:44:23 PM  

Mr. Holmes: pute kisses like a man: meat0918: Dancin_In_Anson: ManateeGag: when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.

We played with tennis balls too. Nowadays I think they'd call in grief counselors to share our feelings about some of the bruising we took.

I brought this up in a conversation with a group of my old high school classmates last year. The catalyst was this article. Now, most of my classmates' kids are getting into the late teen age range but there are still a few who started late. My question was when did we become such shiatty parents where we were so overly concerned about our kids and why? When we were growing up, many of our Fathers were WWII and/or Korea vets. We were all but expected to get into fights, (get caught fighting in school you'd get hauled to the gym, put on gloves and headgear and duke it out until tired then get a swat or two and sent to class), get cuts and scrapes, break a bone or two and into mischief. You might get your ass kicked, some stitches, wince at Bactine's sting or wear a cast for a couple of months but it was all part of growing up. A standard reply when you thought you were wronged was 'life's not fair'.

I'm stunned at how parents (when they have parents but that's a whole 'nuther conversation) act towards their kids today. Everyone's a winner, there are no losers, call the cops when a couple of 13 year olds squab on the ball field after school...These parents are in their late 30s to late 40s...just about my age and down. What made them such pussies?

The media.

the nerds have taken over.  nerd skills are more profitable nowadays, so nerds are raising nerd children, with nerd values, nerd physicques and nerd beliefs.

it used to take brass balls to make money in this country.  now it just takes nerd skills.

I am a 25-year-old nerd and I loved dodgeball. Wasn't the best, wasn't the worst, ...


I was most certainly being silly with all the nerd comments.

i loved dodgeball.  i am definitely a nerd/wimp.  well, not really a wimp, just very ineffectual. though, i have plumbed a kitchen sink (which involves no small amount of attention to sawing a straight line in pvc pipe, cement/bonding, etc), taken an animal from living to delicious, dressed my own serious wounds, changed oil, and probably some other stuff of note.  but, i do all this stuff by trial and error.  i pretty much blunder through everything
 
TWX
2013-05-10 03:46:13 PM  
Heh. Dodgeball was one of the few games from PE that I liked. I got to get back at people that I didn't like and I was halfway decent at avoiding being hit too early. In the rules that we played by, if you hit the backboard of the basketball court on the far opposite side or made a basket your team got to come back in to play.

In some ways Dodgeball is probably a better analogy for real life than a lot of other sports... You're in a team, but in some ways it's every man for himself, and sometimes you have to let the other team members take the hit for you, and you have to figure out who the strongest opponents are and to take them out as quickly as possible...
And I liked volley ball, especially watching it...
 
Ant
2013-05-10 03:51:37 PM  
I don't know how they do PE now, but when I was a kid, there was always a group of kids who were so competitive that they'd just ruin the whole team sport thing for everyone. The teachers never told these douche-nozzles to STFU, so PE for me was a living hell. I was poor, and had to wear glasses that I could not afford to break. Consequently, I might not have been quite as aggressive when volleyballs, baseballs, basketballs, etc. came my way.
 
2013-05-10 03:51:51 PM  

cettin: ISubmittedThisYesterdayWithAMuchFunnierHeadline: We played a variant of dodgeball in school, and it was brutal.  It's been 35 years or so, and I don't remember what it was called (trenchball, maybe?).  There were no sides...the entire gym was in play for a massive free-for-all.  The whole class would spread out in the gym, and the coaches would throw about 10 of those heavy rubber balls onto the floor.  Since you've got multiple people scrambling for the same ball, the guy who got there second was farked, because the guy who got there first had a free head shot at a range of about 2 feet and would absolutely obliterate you.  Generally, half the class was lying on the sidelines within the first 20 seconds, and then the game settled in.  The strategy became to decide if you could make it to a loose ball before someone else, and if not head the other direction fast.  As the herd thinned more, inevitably one of the stronger players would gravitate towards the phalanx of girls cowering in the corner and commit genocide on them with extreme prejudice.  After the game, everyone would go out on the floor and pick up all the glasses, retainers, shoes, etc. that were strewn about and do it again.  When the coaches announced that we were playing trenchball, about 20 percent of the class was ecstatic, and the other 80 percent wished they were home with the flu...the fear was palpable.  God I loved that game.

This has to be where the beginning of the Hunger Games comes from...


I never thought of it, but that's EXACTLY what it was like.  30 seconds of unimaginable carnage, then 5 minutes of stalking and eluding.
 
Ant
2013-05-10 03:55:35 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: These parents are in their late 30s to late 40s...just about my age and down. What made them such pussies?


Peer pressure. Go ahead, try to be different. See how long it is until you're pulled into parental counselling.
 
2013-05-10 03:59:11 PM  
Said, "Pussification Of America" stems from a number of things, mostly the threat of a lawsuit when someone doesn't get their way, or is "offended" in some other way.  It also comes from the fact that parents in this day and age don't want to pay the rising cost of hospital visits after their child goes and hurts themselves.  So we encourage Little Timmy to do the best that he can, and if not, well, we have the family lawyer on retainer for these sorts of things.
 
2013-05-10 04:05:34 PM  
Also, we used to play a wonderful game (after school hours) called "Smear The Queer", which basically was a game of "throw the football in the air and whoever catches it has to avoid being tackled by all the other kids, for as long as they can".  You had a "free boundary" on the ends of the field, like end zones, but you had to leave it quickly....mostly just to catch your breath....Good times and never any injuries.....Ah the good ol' days.....
 
2013-05-10 04:06:35 PM  
Dodgeball was the only GOOD part about PE!   It certainly wasn't having to get undressed in front of the pervy PE teacher in the lockerrooms.   Most of us refused to change.  Certainly none of us showered.

/Said teacher ultimately got picked up for kiddie porn.  No surprise to the students.
 
2013-05-10 04:11:16 PM  

Ant: Peer pressure. Go ahead, try to be different. See how long it is until you're pulled into parental counselling.


Like I said, I'm done and a Grandfather now. It is my mission to make sure that The Twins understand how the real world operates.
 
2013-05-10 04:14:20 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: R.A.Danny: Our favorite game was to take off a tube sock (they were really long back on the day), put a tennis ball in it, and beat the ever-loving shiat out of each other with them.

We were beyond retarded.

It's the Chicago way.


Farkin A, Bubba.
 
2013-05-10 04:15:19 PM  

powerman2424: Said, "Pussification Of America" stems from a number of things, mostly the threat of a lawsuit when someone doesn't get their way, or is "offended" in some other way.  It also comes from the fact that parents in this day and age don't want to pay the rising cost of hospital visits after their child goes and hurts themselves.  So we encourage Little Timmy to do the best that he can, and if not, well, we have the family lawyer on retainer for these sorts of things.


In other words, if there was a system where everyone had access to healthcare, that was paid for by a single central pool, we could go on with living our lives the way they were supposed to be lived?
 
2013-05-10 04:18:16 PM  
Pussy
 
2013-05-10 04:27:46 PM  
Kids are soft as hell these days by design. Can't have little Timmy or Sarah doing anything that they might hurt themselves. Everything must be supervised and part of a program etc etc

Funny how when we were kids we were WAY more likely to be abducted or have any terrible thing happen to us. But as violent crime etc has been dropping year after year we continue to add layer upon layer of bubble wrap to these kids lives.

I cannot for the life of me understand why every f-ing kid has to be picked up and dropped off at their driveway from School. Ill be stuck behind a bus and there will be kids sitting in a car at the end of their driveway with their mom or dad etc. Bus pulls up kids jump out and then jump in the bus. Is it really sooooo scary out there these days that kids can't walk over a few houses to all wait at the same bus stop ? Its INSANE. They can't even stand in the cold let alone wait at a bus stop buy themselves.
 
2013-05-10 04:28:17 PM  
We did not have dodgeball where I grew up.  But ours was better than football and harder than any physical sport.  Here is shot right before we shake the burro...
a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com
 
2013-05-10 04:28:37 PM  

tlars699: In other words, if there was a system where everyone had access to healthcare, that was paid for by a single central pool, we could go on with living our lives the way they were supposed to be lived?


Slow down, there.... if you think they haven't bubble-wrapped everything in the UK in the name of "Health and Safety" then I think you'll be disappointed.  Concern-trolling IRL is pretty prevalent.
 
2013-05-10 04:30:10 PM  
The author sounds like a girl who was fat in school and never got picked for dodgeball. Stop trying to turn this country into a bunch of wussified pansies.  Patches O'Houlihan  would not put up with this and neither will I.

Now - Get off my lawn.
 
2013-05-10 04:35:07 PM  
Me and two friends used to play The Ghost and the Darkness when we were young(named after the movie came out). One person had to get from the end of the long windowless pitch black basement to the opposite wall. The remaining two people started at the opposite wall and had to make a takedown and force him give up by any means possible(usually suffocation via a blanket or a poorly applied bullshiat WCW leglock that actually hurt). The basement had a protruding wetbar with a giant rock base, a stone fireplace that stuck out, various metal vertical support beams strewn about, a ping pong table, etc. There is no reason for all three of us to be alive or without brain damage today. But easily the best memory I have of childhood. Such a great game.
 
2013-05-10 04:35:24 PM  
I was a fat kid, and I loved dodgeball because it wasn't boring or predictable. Especially compared to the days when they'd drag out the jump ropes.
 
2013-05-10 04:40:13 PM  

NutWrench: I_Am_Weasel: As I recall when I was in school, it was referred to as "murder ball"

They called it, "smear the queer (with the ball)" when I was a kid. I have no idea why: none of us knew what a queer was.


Our neighborhood had a team hide-and-seek game where kids of all ages played, it was called "Jews and Germans" (yea, I know...read below).

The "Jews" had 2 minutes to hide virtually anywhere (accept inside) and the "Germans" had to go out and find them and then drag them back to the base...and if you broke free from the dragging, you got another 2 minutes to hide again.

I was 7 and had zero clue about the name, I just thought it was fun.  Then one day a few years later I'm in History class, learning about WWII and all of a sudden it hit me..."OMG I can't believe it was called that".

At my 20-year high school reunion I went up to a girl that lived down the street from me at that neighborhood and asked her if she remembered playing that game...her reaction was exactly the same..."OMG I can't believe that game was called that".

/Also played smear the queer...had no idea was a queer was either
//The innocence of youth
 
Ant
2013-05-10 04:45:22 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: It is my mission to make sure that The Twins understand how the real world operates.


That's how the real world operates now.

I was just telling my son the other day about every job I've had in my life, starting with delivering flyers for a pizza place in Boise Idaho when I was a little kid. Suddenly I realized that when I was doing that job, I was about the same age as my son is now (8 years old). I cannot even imagine sending my 8 year old son out to deliver flyers door-to-door. Even if I could imagine it, the other parents in the neighborhood would probably report me to CPS.
 
2013-05-10 04:48:35 PM  

Ant: Dancin_In_Anson: It is my mission to make sure that The Twins understand how the real world operates.

That's how the real world operates now.

I was just telling my son the other day about every job I've had in my life, starting with delivering flyers for a pizza place in Boise Idaho when I was a little kid. Suddenly I realized that when I was doing that job, I was about the same age as my son is now (8 years old). I cannot even imagine sending my 8 year old son out to deliver flyers door-to-door. Even if I could imagine it, the other parents in the neighborhood would probably report me to CPS.


This is true. While I lament how much we protect kids these days, we'd be pariahs if we didn't
 
2013-05-10 04:49:34 PM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: I'll date myself right off.  We did "red rover" in PE. I loved it.


I played red rover too. I can't really remember if I liked it.
 
2013-05-10 04:55:46 PM  

Satan's Bunny Slippers: impaler: I sucked at team sports, but I loved dodgeball.

Kickball can go fark itself.

I'll date myself right off.  We did "red rover" in PE. I loved it.  Being a fairly stocky farm girl that was carrying 75lb bales of straw at around 12 years old, I had the hand strength and footing to hang on to the wimpy chicks hands next to me and NO ONE got through.

I was ok in dodgeball and volleyball, but not great.


Red rover? I dont think your dating yourself. Played it in 4th and 5th grades. Im 27 now. Bet lots of farkers played it
 
2013-05-10 04:58:36 PM  

Ant: That's how the real world operates now.

I was just telling my son the other day about every job I've had in my life, starting with delivering flyers for a pizza place in Boise Idaho when I was a little kid. Suddenly I realized that when I was doing that job, I was about the same age as my son is now (8 years old). I cannot even imagine sending my 8 year old son out to deliver flyers door-to-door. Even if I could imagine it, the other parents in the neighborhood would probably report me to CPS.


he should take the initiative to do it himself...And you should have the stones to tell the other parents and CPS to get bent and buy a farking pizza.
 
2013-05-10 05:03:43 PM  

Wendy's Chili: AngryPanda: This author is like my friend who says that even watching sports and enjoying it is unhealthy. Whatever, dude.

I no longer enjoy football. Whenever I see 250 lbs. men run into in each other head first all I can think about are the brain injuries that are going to cripple them down the road.


It makes me enjoy it more.

Those guys that had it easy in life through all of their younger years, girls threw themselves at them, get away with ANYTHING. Full ride to school that they don't appreciate or need because they will be set for life.. Be given millions of dollars because they won a genetic lottery? Call it schadenfreude, but hearing that their mentally ill asses are putting a bullet to the brain or can't even wipe their own asses puts a smile on my face that I should probably feel bad about, but I don't.
 
2013-05-10 05:08:11 PM  

Beta Tested: vudukungfu: Screw sport.
Teach them Judo in elementary school and give classes in yoga, too.
Let them learn Aikido wrestling in Middle school and Kungfu boxing in highschool. Also teach logic.
Of course, the GOP doesn't want people who can disarm an asshole with a box cutter and can see through a bullshait reason to tax people to vote, so that will never happen.

FTFY

/BJJ, Muay Thai, and Kickboxing would also be acceptable.


I knew another snob was about to say something.

lets go full out and just institute vale tudo in second grade.

never mind this pu*sy footing around
 
2013-05-10 05:08:39 PM  
Just who is the target consumer for Slate, anyway?
 
2013-05-10 05:10:28 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Just who is the target consumer for Slate, anyway?


Self loathing feminists from what I can tell.
 
2013-05-10 05:18:39 PM  

VTGremlin: Me and two friends used to play The Ghost and the Darkness when we were young(named after the movie came out). One person had to get from the end of the long windowless pitch black basement to the opposite wall. The remaining two people started at the opposite wall and had to make a takedown and force him give up by any means possible(usually suffocation via a blanket or a poorly applied bullshiat WCW leglock that actually hurt). The basement had a protruding wetbar with a giant rock base, a stone fireplace that stuck out, various metal vertical support beams strewn about, a ping pong table, etc. There is no reason for all three of us to be alive or without brain damage today. But easily the best memory I have of childhood. Such a great game.


Sounds like an awesome game.

im pretty sure my friends and I were some of the earliest backyard wrestlers. Nothing stupid like it became.
but powerbombs piledrivers rock bottoms. the occasional stop sign or shovel swung at a head. Good way til kill the summer in middle school.
 
2013-05-10 05:25:49 PM  

stevetherobot: Lorelle: I always viewed dodgeball as the one sport in which the weaklings could get back at the bullies for tormenting them the rest of the school day.

In my experience, the weaklings couldn't throw hard enough or accurately enough to get back at anyone, while the bullies endeavored to cause as much pain and humiliation as possible.


I was good at getting hit early in the game (on purpose), and even better at hitting certain obnoxious brats. :)
 
2013-05-10 05:38:58 PM  
I'm sure this horse has been beat to death already, but all phys ed and sports teams in public k-12 schools are a complete waste of student time and parent tax dollars. Trash the sports teams completely to save the money, and change phys ed to a nutrition ed and daily workout class. Make everyone be on the elliptical for 45 mins every day. that would actually get people in shape and be way better than the farce that is a new sport every week, never to be picked up again by anyone until next years PE class. Elliptical is also way better for the body than that farking retard weekly mile run.
 
2013-05-10 05:40:25 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: ManateeGag: when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.

We played with tennis balls too. Nowadays I think they'd call in grief counselors to share our feelings about some of the bruising we took.

I brought this up in a conversation with a group of my old high school classmates last year. The catalyst was this article. Now, most of my classmates' kids are getting into the late teen age range but there are still a few who started late. My question was when did we become such shiatty parents where we were so overly concerned about our kids and why? When we were growing up, many of our Fathers were WWII and/or Korea vets. We were all but expected to get into fights, (get caught fighting in school you'd get hauled to the gym, put on gloves and headgear and duke it out until tired then get a swat or two and sent to class), get cuts and scrapes, break a bone or two and into mischief. You might get your ass kicked, some stitches, wince at Bactine's sting or wear a cast for a couple of months but it was all part of growing up. A standard reply when you thought you were wronged was 'life's not fair'.

I'm stunned at how parents (when they have parents but that's a whole 'nuther conversation) act towards their kids today. Everyone's a winner, there are no losers, call the cops when a couple of 13 year olds squab on the ball field after school...These parents are in their late 30s to late 40s...just about my age and down. What made them such pussies?


Agreed.  I'm 46, and when I was in about 6th grade, during recess we played a game called "Spread Eagle" or "Wall Ball".  You joined in voluntarily and it was a pretty damn cool game.  The object was to slam the tennis or racquetball against the side of the brick wall of the school and try to make the rebound difficult to field.  If someone steps up and catches it before it hits the ground, the thrower is out.  If it's a grounder and you step up and try to field it and miss, oh boy.  You had to walk up, face first, spread your arms against the wall and make yourself as big as a target as possible.  Everybody who was left in the game got a shot at you with the ball, but you were still in the game.  Damned it that didn't make me a bold and confident fielder on baseball teams in the future!
 
2013-05-10 05:43:07 PM  

Dr. Goldshnoz: Make everyone be on the elliptical for 45 mins every day.


Conjugate the verb "to be"

I be
you be
he be
she be
we be
they be

And what a way to develop a love of a sporting lifestyle.
 
2013-05-10 05:45:23 PM  
we used to play a game we could suicide.

You needed at least two players, sometimes we would get up to eight.  The idea was to throw a tennis ball against the building(high building were best) and everyone in turn had to catch the ball after it hit the building or catch it only after one bounce.

If you dropped it while trying to catch it, the other participants, who had tennis balls in their pockets could peg you as many times as they wanted until you touched the designate safe spot.  Usually the building, or if you were feeling squierrely, you could make it something far away.
 
2013-05-10 05:49:00 PM  
What a loser, glad to see that defeatist attitude has served her well in life.
 
2013-05-10 05:49:22 PM  

zososcott: You joined in voluntarily and it was a pretty damn cool game. The object was to slam the tennis or racquetball against the side of the brick wall of the school and try to make the rebound difficult to field. If someone steps up and catches it before it hits the ground, the thrower is out. If it's a grounder and you step up and try to field it and miss, oh boy. You had to walk up, face first, spread your arms against the wall and make yourself as big as a target as possible. Everybody who was left in the game got a shot at you with the ball, but you were still in the game. Damned it that didn't make me a bold and confident fielder on baseball teams in the future!


Our thing in high* school was "Death Hacky" . We'd kick anytime we could and the rules were simple. If you caught it, served to yourself or went for an inside kick and it went through the gap formed by your 'crossed' leg, one of the other players got to heave it at your bare chest. The worst reaction we ever got from a member of the faculty or staff was an eye roll.

*more often than not
 
2013-05-10 05:54:09 PM  

Dr. Goldshnoz: I'm sure this horse has been beat to death already, but all phys ed and sports teams in public k-12 schools are a complete waste of student time and parent tax dollars. Trash the sports teams completely to save the money, and change phys ed to a nutrition ed and daily workout class. Make everyone be on the elliptical for 45 mins every day. that would actually get people in shape and be way better than the farce that is a new sport every week, never to be picked up again by anyone until next years PE class. Elliptical is also way better for the body than that farking retard weekly mile run.


Oh please 20 years ago kids in HS were having notes written to excuse them from gym class all the time. You think they are gonna be ok with actually having to break a sweat on an elliptical machine ?

The kids that didn't want to do gym then are the same kind of kids who won't do it now.

The thing about gym that sucks is by the time everyone changes and is ready there was only like 30 minutes or less for a class. It is basically an exercise of changing your clothes.
 
2013-05-10 05:57:30 PM  
I've always hated sports and I sucked ass at gym, but BY GOD I love me some dodgeball! That was about the only activity in gym I ever enjoyed.

Wait, I'm wrong. I enjoyed square dancing, too.

/Yes, yes I did
 
2013-05-10 05:58:02 PM  

Dancin_In_Anson: ManateeGag: when I was growing up, dodge ball was hardly a team sport.  there was no team work, no helping each other out.  there was a lot of "every man for himself" on both sides of the line.

We played with tennis balls too. Nowadays I think they'd call in grief counselors to share our feelings about some of the bruising we took.

I brought this up in a conversation with a group of my old high school classmates last year. The catalyst was this article. Now, most of my classmates' kids are getting into the late teen age range but there are still a few who started late. My question was when did we become such shiatty parents where we were so overly concerned about our kids and why? When we were growing up, many of our Fathers were WWII and/or Korea vets. We were all but expected to get into fights, (get caught fighting in school you'd get hauled to the gym, put on gloves and headgear and duke it out until tired then get a swat or two and sent to class), get cuts and scrapes, break a bone or two and into mischief. You might get your ass kicked, some stitches, wince at Bactine's sting or wear a cast for a couple of months but it was all part of growing up. A standard reply when you thought you were wronged was 'life's not fair'.

I'm stunned at how parents (when they have parents but that's a whole 'nuther conversation) act towards their kids today. Everyone's a winner, there are no losers, call the cops when a couple of 13 year olds squab on the ball field after school...These parents are in their late 30s to late 40s...just about my age and down. What made them such pussies?


Libs.
 
2013-05-10 06:00:28 PM  

R.A.Danny: Dr. Goldshnoz: Make everyone be on the elliptical for 45 mins every day.

Conjugate the verb "to be"

I be
you be
he be
she be
we be
they be


Congratulations: you just failed at English. Sometimes the infinitive form of the verb is required. This is one of those times.
 
2013-05-10 06:01:44 PM  

Pawprint: Sometimes the infinitive form of the verb is required.


But not the singular.

Can we get a ruling?
 
2013-05-10 06:02:50 PM  
I mean, I would take your word for it, but :

Location:Central FL
 
2013-05-10 06:05:41 PM  

R.A.Danny: Pawprint: Sometimes the infinitive form of the verb is required.

But not the singular.

Can we get a ruling?


Singular of what? Let's go this route: how would you propose to "correct" the sentence you quoted?

And does it help that I'm not a Florida native?
 
2013-05-10 06:11:32 PM  
teenage mutant ninja rapist:
I knew another snob was about to say something.

lets go full out and just institute vale tudo in second grade.

never mind this pu*sy footing around


Aikido, Kung-fu, and creationism have 1 very important thing in common... they are all fantasies.

/ Judo-Wrestling-BJJ >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Aikido
 
2013-05-10 06:18:27 PM  

Pawprint: R.A.Danny: Dr. Goldshnoz: Make everyone be on the elliptical for 45 mins every day.

Conjugate the verb "to be"

I be
you be
he be
she be
we be
they be

Congratulations: you just failed at English. Sometimes the infinitive form of the verb is required. This is one of those times.


I was going to point out how he cant refute me so he went grammer nazi on me, but i see you be on it already.
 
2013-05-10 06:20:15 PM  

Bruxellensis: We had to learn how to line dance in PE.  Yeah.  I farking HATE country music, and hate frig-dancing even more.

/but we got to play lots of hockey and dodgeball


My Freshman year they forced us to learn polka.  This in a school with a 3:2 ratio boys to girls.  So guy-guy partnerships quickly turned it into full contact polka.  That turned out to be more fun than we were allowed to have so it was back to dodgeball.
 
2013-05-10 06:20:31 PM  

kindms: Dr. Goldshnoz: I'm sure this horse has been beat to death already, but all phys ed and sports teams in public k-12 schools are a complete waste of student time and parent tax dollars. Trash the sports teams completely to save the money, and change phys ed to a nutrition ed and daily workout class. Make everyone be on the elliptical for 45 mins every day. that would actually get people in shape and be way better than the farce that is a new sport every week, never to be picked up again by anyone until next years PE class. Elliptical is also way better for the body than that farking retard weekly mile run.

Oh please 20 years ago kids in HS were having notes written to excuse them from gym class all the time. You think they are gonna be ok with actually having to break a sweat on an elliptical machine ?

The kids that didn't want to do gym then are the same kind of kids who won't do it now.

The thing about gym that sucks is by the time everyone changes and is ready there was only like 30 minutes or less for a class. It is basically an exercise of changing your clothes.


I agree on all the points you made, but I don't think any of them really contradict what I'm saying. So... agree to agree while shaking tiny fists at each other?
 
2013-05-10 06:21:34 PM  

impaler: I sucked at team sports, but I loved dodgeball.

Kickball can go fark itself.


Ditto.  I was damn good at dodging the ball.  What annoyed me was I'd be the very last one knocked out, so we'd lose, and the class jock would blame me for the team losing.  Fark you.  I lasted longer than you and it took them 15 minutes to get me even though I was their only target.
 
2013-05-10 06:27:17 PM  

hasty ambush: PowerSlacker: Here's some more of Jessica Olien's "work" in case you hate yourself.

Sadly she is in position to influence others with her squishy ideas:

I also teach writing courses at UCLA, NYU and Mediabistro.

Sort of not unattractive but would have to see her naked to be sure

[www.jessicaolien.com image 418x428]


Just saw her illustrations and comics. Boy does she suck.
 
2013-05-10 06:28:43 PM  

Dr. Goldshnoz: Pawprint: R.A.Danny: Dr. Goldshnoz: Make everyone be on the elliptical for 45 mins every day.

Conjugate the verb "to be"

I be
you be
he be
she be
we be
they be

Congratulations: you just failed at English. Sometimes the infinitive form of the verb is required. This is one of those times.

I was going to point out how he cant refute me so he went grammer nazi on me, but i see you be on it already.


Are on it already.

And try an adverb once in a while. It will add some grace to your writing.

I'm driving home presently so my ability to write will be hampered for a while.
 
2013-05-10 06:36:59 PM  

factoryconnection: tlars699: In other words, if there was a system where everyone had access to healthcare, that was paid for by a single central pool, we could go on with living our lives the way they were supposed to be lived?

Slow down, there.... if you think they haven't bubble-wrapped everything in the UK in the name of "Health and Safety" then I think you'll be disappointed.  Concern-trolling IRL is pretty prevalent.


Yes, but in the UK there are different levels of the pool. The private companies still have sway over the deep end. Sweden would be a better example of what we should be shooting for. Speaking of, Brevik was still able to obtain a gun and end up shooting 77 people, so I'm sure that you won't have too much concern about the 2nd Amendment, if that's what you're afraid about.
 
2013-05-10 06:41:46 PM  

Dr. Goldshnoz: kindms: Dr. Goldshnoz: I'm sure this horse has been beat to death already, but all phys ed and sports teams in public k-12 schools are a complete waste of student time and parent tax dollars. Trash the sports teams completely to save the money, and change phys ed to a nutrition ed and daily workout class. Make everyone be on the elliptical for 45 mins every day. that would actually get people in shape and be way better than the farce that is a new sport every week, never to be picked up again by anyone until next years PE class. Elliptical is also way better for the body than that farking retard weekly mile run.

Oh please 20 years ago kids in HS were having notes written to excuse them from gym class all the time. You think they are gonna be ok with actually having to break a sweat on an elliptical machine ?

The kids that didn't want to do gym then are the same kind of kids who won't do it now.

The thing about gym that sucks is by the time everyone changes and is ready there was only like 30 minutes or less for a class. It is basically an exercise of changing your clothes.

I agree on all the points you made, but I don't think any of them really contradict what I'm saying. So... agree to agree while shaking tiny fists at each other?


WAY TO GO! YOU HAVE COME UP WITH A PLAN TO NEVER ALLOW CHILDREN TO HAVE FUN/Be in an effective cooperative physical setting/Allow for creativity in a physcial setting/Allow them to learn about anatomy before med school.

FUN, LIKE LIFE, ISN'T FAIR.
 
2013-05-10 06:52:57 PM  

tlars699: Dr. Goldshnoz: kindms: Dr. Goldshnoz: I'm sure this horse has been beat to death already, but all phys ed and sports teams in public k-12 schools are a complete waste of student time and parent tax dollars. Trash the sports teams completely to save the money, and change phys ed to a nutrition ed and daily workout class. Make everyone be on the elliptical for 45 mins every day. that would actually get people in shape and be way better than the farce that is a new sport every week, never to be picked up again by anyone until next years PE class. Elliptical is also way better for the body than that farking retard weekly mile run.

Oh please 20 years ago kids in HS were having notes written to excuse them from gym class all the time. You think they are gonna be ok with actually having to break a sweat on an elliptical machine ?

The kids that didn't want to do gym then are the same kind of kids who won't do it now.

The thing about gym that sucks is by the time everyone changes and is ready there was only like 30 minutes or less for a class. It is basically an exercise of changing your clothes.

I agree on all the points you made, but I don't think any of them really contradict what I'm saying. So... agree to agree while shaking tiny fists at each other?

WAY TO GO! YOU HAVE COME UP WITH A PLAN TO NEVER ALLOW CHILDREN TO HAVE FUN/Be in an effective cooperative physical setting/Allow for creativity in a physcial setting/Allow them to learn about anatomy before med school.

FUN, LIKE LIFE, ISN'T FAIR.


I'm sorry you were under the impression school was about fun.
 
2013-05-10 08:04:54 PM  
I loved dodgeball. It was the one chance to hit the prissy popular girls in the face and not get in trouble. That, and letting the chubby kids make themselves useful by being a target.
 
2013-05-10 08:40:03 PM  
competition is great. no more farking tie games, nor everybody is a winner bull shiat. dodge ball is great because the feedback is instant... hit or be hit. it's a good lesson.

children should learn that losing sucks in a painful way. another benefit of being drilled by a dodge ball.
 
2013-05-10 08:48:05 PM  
And the wussification of America continues.....
 
2013-05-10 08:55:34 PM  
Being tall and going to a small school, I was pegged by coaches for football, basketball or wrestling, track....

Hated football - don't like the full contact.  Basketball was not better and wrestling?  Well we had a Ski team - and running laps on cross country skiis is not much different than any other punishment.  Plus once in a while we got to run gates, or best of all, play soccer in a field of snow - about a foot - talk about a workout - the ball does not roll, you really have to run.

We had some PE classes that were fun - when we moved into the new HS, there was a sort of handball court, we also had vollyball, which I was OK at being tall enough to have a pretty wicked spike even if I could not jump for shiat.  And square dancing.  Man, that was my favorite as we got to do it in proximity to pretty girls and hold their hands and twirl 'em and all of that - it was one of the most popular classes but not really much excercise.    "Head couples, up to the middle and back, side couple do the same come on home and swing your partner, corner gal and alamen left with the old left and and on into the right and left grand come on home and promenade!"
 
2013-05-10 10:47:04 PM  

Taoist Jedi: We've tried to set different academic levels so all kids get at least a basic education, why not try the same with phys ed?


Because we want to impress the idea in school children fairly early on that you need to be okay with the most athletic kids getting the most respect, and everybody else feeling various levels of inadequacy. Basically, it's about keeping traditions going that are so deep down people can't even really talk about them. Which is why the curriculum hasn't changed.
 
2013-05-11 01:34:24 AM  

HeadLever: impaler: I sucked at team sports, but I loved dodgeball.

Kickball can go fark itself.

Ahh, reminds me of the days of wallball where 1/2 the class were always sporting racquet ball sized briuses. In those days, the teachers would just roll thier eyes at us.  I am sure that game is no longer allowed.


Ahhhh, wallball. The teachers at my Jr. High used to watch and laugh.
 
2013-05-11 01:54:22 AM  

Walker: I think Wallball is more sociopath. They made us stand against a brick wall and other kids would throw balls as hard as they could at us. Nowhere to run cause you're against a wall.


Ahhh, memories...

/loved Wallball
//it should be a pro sport
 
2013-05-11 12:22:26 PM  

jst3p: I should probably feel bad about, but I don't


You probably don't need to feel bad about adults being paid millions to risk personal injury. Things could be better -- for example, we could hold professional sports leagues to the same workman's-comp standards we do other employers, or require that compensation packages include ongoing access to medical treatment -- but in general that end of the situation is not inherently unreasonable.

But you should feel bad about the thousands of high-school and college football players that don't get a the positive attention you cite, don't get a free education, and never have any chance at making millions (or even being paid at all), but are encouraged to put themselves at great risk because of the social value we place on sport and the dream of making it to the pros.

College athletes are required to volunteer their efforts; some of them get scholarships, but everyone gets a free ride, and none of them get anything near their actual value. Moreover they are completely prohibited from doing anything that would allow them to generate income related to their sport performance -- they are disqualified from play for even using their own name to promote goods. And in high school there are no scholarships, no pay, and not even direct access to medical attention.
 
2013-05-11 12:40:07 PM  
"I was a dysfunctional loner as a child and now I'm a dysfunctional loner as an adult. I blame others for this."

I lol'ed.
 
2013-05-11 12:56:53 PM  

mxyzplk: "I was a dysfunctional loner as a child and now I'm a dysfunctional loner as an adult. I blame others for this."

I lol'ed.


All dysfunctional loners should blame themselves. They may find they're good at it.
 
2013-05-11 09:28:45 PM  
Red Rover played by Junior High aged kids or older ROCKS.

That said: the version of flag football we played at one college I went into took every last bit of fun out of it. The school was so afraid of injury that they banned blocking. You could step in front of a rusher if you were on the line, but couldn't try to touch them or do anything that might make them run into you. I'm amazed anyone ever got a pass off. At least we could be brutal to each other in intramural basketball.
 
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