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(Celebslam)   Gwyneth Paltrow angers Brentwood neighbors by building nine-foot-high security gate, in violation of the six-foot limit. Rich people problems   (celebslam.celebuzz.com ) divider line
    More: Asinine, Gwyneth Paltrow, Brentwood, suburbanites  
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3921 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 10 May 2013 at 12:49 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



83 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2013-05-10 11:14:40 AM  
But she has children! Think of the children!
 
2013-05-10 11:43:50 AM  
Dude, AIM is completely gunning for her. She has to protect herself.
 
2013-05-10 11:59:07 AM  
You really can't overemphasize the poetics of rich folk squabbling over the height of their walls.
 
2013-05-10 12:00:09 PM  
Good fences make good neighbors
 
2013-05-10 12:07:27 PM  

RexTalionis: Dude, AIM is completely gunning for her. She has to protect herself.



Alex Jones has proven that A.I.M. is nothing more than a S.H.I.E.L.D. false flag operation.
 
2013-05-10 12:13:53 PM  
I'm six foot four and wearing binocs.
 
2013-05-10 12:16:09 PM  
But where will the madness end? An airtight dome over her entire property?

One could hope.
 
2013-05-10 12:21:12 PM  
i3.ytimg.com

"I installed a nine-foot fence at Gwyneth Paltrow's pad in Brentwood and she come to the door in a pair of pants."
 
2013-05-10 12:51:21 PM  
I don't know what it is about her but I hate that coont. Talk about being born on third acting like you hit a triple.
 
2013-05-10 12:53:50 PM  
Maybe she got a Husky. Those things can jump over 6 foot fences.
 
2013-05-10 12:53:51 PM  
Is it an organic, free-range fence, made with artisanal quinoa and painted with a mint-infused mango smoothy?
 
2013-05-10 12:59:33 PM  
Gwyneth Paltrow wants to separate herself from her lessers as much as possible. What, is the Obvious tag taking in an early weekend?
 
2013-05-10 01:01:46 PM  
She thinks the paparazzi don't have bendable 12 foot lenses.  But they probably do.
 
2013-05-10 01:03:45 PM  
Somebody has some serious power behind her. She had a movie that Grossed Thirty Dollars(!!!) in it's opening weekend a couple years ago, and now there is nothing about it on IMDB or anywhere else.
 
2013-05-10 01:11:49 PM  
So, this is what it's like when the HOA has the short stack?
 
2013-05-10 01:14:45 PM  
Well, she is rather tall.
 
2013-05-10 01:15:37 PM  

Crewmannumber6: Somebody has some serious power behind her. She had a movie that Grossed Thirty Dollars(!!!) in it's opening weekend a couple years ago, and now there is nothing about it on IMDB or anywhere else.


No shiat. She also tests her cookbook recipes on third-world orphans because a lot of the wild herbs and spices she uses tend to be poisonous. But the biatch has the media in her pocket, so you won't read about this anywhere. Oh, and she also requires anybody who helps set up the trips to have their tongues cut out so they can't talk about it either.

/through the looking glass here, people.
 
2013-05-10 01:21:10 PM  
Maybe she's trying to conceal her cupping hickies.

arizonafoothillsmagazine.com
 
2013-05-10 01:37:50 PM  

The Stealth Hippopotamus: Good fences make good neighbors


Nope. That one's not even remotely obscure.

'Why do they make good neighbors? Isn't it
Where there are   cows  unable-to-be-viewed river horses?'
But here there are no   cows   unable-to-be-viewed river horses.
 
2013-05-10 01:38:23 PM  

rev. dave: She thinks the paparazzi don't have bendable 12 foot lenses.  But they probably do.


Bendable you say?

www.razorfine.com
 
2013-05-10 01:41:49 PM  

sigdiamond2000: [i3.ytimg.com image 320x180]

"I installed a nine-foot fence at Gwyneth Paltrow's pad in Brentwood and she come to the door in a pair of pants."


"It's true you boys."

+10
 
2013-05-10 01:49:37 PM  

Crewmannumber6: I don't know what it is about her but I hate that coont. Talk about being born on third acting like you hit a triple.


How long have you been chomping at the bit to be the guy that trots out that old chestnut?


Crewmannumber6: Somebody has some serious power behind her. She had a movie that Grossed Thirty Dollars(!!!) in it's opening weekend a couple years ago, and now there is nothing about it on IMDB or anywhere else.



Except for being the highest grossing movie currently out. You are trying really hard to be an ass today aren't you?
 
2013-05-10 01:57:12 PM  
Who can blame a movie star for wanting a tall fence or wall around her house, or, for that matter, anyone who is constantly followed by the paparazzi.
 
2013-05-10 02:04:53 PM  
That is a tall gate.... how tall is the rest of the fence?
 
2013-05-10 02:07:50 PM  
I'm surprised we got this far without someone mentioning evil evil HOAs.
 
2013-05-10 02:14:06 PM  

PizzaJedi81: I'm surprised we got this far without someone mentioning evil evil HOAs.


I'm pretty sure Paltrow has a fairly evil HOO-HA
 
2013-05-10 02:14:25 PM  
Worlds most beautiful woman? Needs a big fence.
 
2013-05-10 02:15:45 PM  

olapbill: I'm pretty sure Paltrow has a fairly evil HOO-HA


I would gladly inspect it in order to make sure it isn't.

Yeah, I think she's hot. I don't even care that she married a shiatty musician.
 
2013-05-10 02:16:48 PM  

titwrench: Crewmannumber6: I don't know what it is about her but I hate that coont. Talk about being born on third acting like you hit a triple.

How long have you been chomping at the bit to be the guy that trots out that old chestnut?


Crewmannumber6: Somebody has some serious power behind her. She had a movie that Grossed Thirty Dollars(!!!) in it's opening weekend a couple years ago, and now there is nothing about it on IMDB or anywhere else.


Except for being the highest grossing movie currently out. You are trying really hard to be an ass today aren't you?


She's not going to divorce Coldplay to marry you, no matter how much you white knight for her.
 
2013-05-10 02:17:47 PM  

titwrench: Crewmannumber6: I don't know what it is about her but I hate that coont. Talk about being born on third acting like you hit a triple.

How long have you been chomping at the bit to be the guy that trots out that old chestnut?


Crewmannumber6: Somebody has some serious power behind her. She had a movie that Grossed Thirty Dollars(!!!) in it's opening weekend a couple years ago, and now there is nothing about it on IMDB or anywhere else.


Except for being the highest grossing movie currently out. You are trying really hard to be an ass today aren't you?


Does anyone on Fark have to TRY to be an ass?  Is there another reason for the existence of this site?  You are really trying hard to be obtuse today, aren't you?
 
2013-05-10 02:21:26 PM  

Trey Le Parc: You are really trying hard to be obtuse today, aren't you?


3.bp.blogspot.com

What? What did you call me?
 
2013-05-10 02:35:21 PM  

TotallyHeadless: titwrench: Crewmannumber6: I don't know what it is about her but I hate that coont. Talk about being born on third acting like you hit a triple.

How long have you been chomping at the bit to be the guy that trots out that old chestnut?


Crewmannumber6: Somebody has some serious power behind her. She had a movie that Grossed Thirty Dollars(!!!) in it's opening weekend a couple years ago, and now there is nothing about it on IMDB or anywhere else.


Except for being the highest grossing movie currently out. You are trying really hard to be an ass today aren't you?

She's not going to divorce Coldplay to marry you, no matter how much you white knight for her.


One of my "favorite" things about Fark is that you are completely unable to not be a dick to women without this lame accusation being thrown out.
 
2013-05-10 02:35:45 PM  
Wasn't there a railroad magnate in the western US in the 19th century that built a 30' wall around his neighbor's property to block out the sun because the guy wouldn't sell to the magnate?

I remember seeing a pic of it long long ago, but have been unable to find it since....
 
2013-05-10 02:36:21 PM  
has there ever been a bigger coont than Gwyneth??
 
2013-05-10 02:38:08 PM  
Thanks for reading Celebrity Planning Violations Magazine!
 
2013-05-10 02:38:28 PM  

E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: has there ever been a bigger coont than Gwyneth??


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-10 02:38:59 PM  

PizzaJedi81: Trey Le Parc: You are really trying hard to be obtuse today, aren't you?

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 850x557]

What? What did you call me?


Lol.  Whenever I hear the word obtuse that's exactly what I think of, also:

Went camping one year with a group of friends and we were cooking steaks in almost pure darkness and I told the grill master that he was taking them off the BBQ too soon and they'd be too raw and he said "FILK stop being so obtuse" and we all started cracking up; yes, it was late at night and many drinks were consumed.  Fark, that trip was a blast and I never laughed so hard than I did over that extended holiday weekend.  My stomach muscles hurt, literally, for a day after that weekend. Guess you had to be there.

But thanks for the much needed laugh for posting that; it's been a bad couple days :)

Crewmannumber6: I don't know what it is about her but I hate that coont. Talk about being born on third acting like you hit a triple.


This.

Smugness, arrogant, self-absorbed...
 
2013-05-10 02:44:03 PM  

Saiga410


That is a tall gate.... how tall is the rest of the fence?


She doesn't need a fence because the gate is really tall, or something.
 
2013-05-10 02:44:13 PM  

titwrench: Crewmannumber6: I don't know what it is about her but I hate that coont. Talk about being born on third acting like you hit a triple.

How long have you been chomping at the bit to be the guy that trots out that old chestnut?



I can't believe none of the grammur yahtzee's haven't called you out on this one yet.
(It's "champing at the bit")
 
2013-05-10 02:45:43 PM  

Car_Ramrod: One of my "favorite" things about Fark is that you are completely unable to not be a dick to women without this lame accusation being thrown out.


Don't give up... one of them will reward you with sex eventually.

Follow your dreams.
 
2013-05-10 02:46:47 PM  

red5ish: Who can blame a movie star for wanting a tall fence or wall around her house, or, for that matter, anyone who is constantly followed by the paparazzi.


OTOH if she weren't rich & famous she might still have stalkers. And more dangerous ones, because people who ain't rich & famous don't get as much protection.

 TotallyHeadless:


She's not going to divorce Coldplay to marry you, no matter how much you white knight for her.

Forget marrying her, I'd just like an hour alone with her. But for her sake she should take roofies first: some things a gal shouldn't have to remember.

I promise I won't take pictures or video and that I'll practice very safe sex. And anyway nobody would believe me even if I did have proof.
 
2013-05-10 02:49:45 PM  

The_Gallant_Gallstone: Car_Ramrod: One of my "favorite" things about Fark is that you are completely unable to not be a dick to women without this lame accusation being thrown out.

Don't give up... one of them will reward you with sex eventually.

Follow your dreams.


It's wonderful that you typed this, read it over, and thought, "Yea, that's awesome. I'm original and hilarious. I'm totally posting this." Good for you.

Now what will the next response be? welcometofark.jpg or lightenupfrancis.jpg?
 
2013-05-10 02:53:12 PM  

Car_Ramrod: It's wonderful that you typed this, read it over, and thought, "Yea, that's awesome. I'm original and hilarious. I'm totally posting this." Good for you.


Watch it buck-o... I'm like two surgeries away from you fawning all over me and buying me things off my Amazon wish list.
 
2013-05-10 02:53:34 PM  
I lived next door to a hoarder with a back yard full of crap. When I went to sell my house, I built a new fence to try to hide it. But since the city ordinance said I could only put up a 5-foot fence, I built a 16-inch high mound of dirt along the property line and planted the fence on top of that.

When the inspectors came, they got kind of angry, but after I showed them what lives on the other side, they said, "OK, we see what you did and why you did it, but don't do it again."

The key to success is going where the rules aren't.
 
2013-05-10 02:55:32 PM  
someone is going to punch her in the face.
 
2013-05-10 03:04:53 PM  

Thelyphthoric: titwrench: Crewmannumber6: I don't know what it is about her but I hate that coont. Talk about being born on third acting like you hit a triple.

How long have you been chomping at the bit to be the guy that trots out that old chestnut?


I can't believe none of the grammur yahtzee's haven't called you out on this one yet.
(It's "champing at the bit")


Both are acceptable, Champing being more correct but less common. Besides the Grammar Nazi's are a joke anyway. They are the equivalent of a small child that is bored when their parents throw an adult dinner party. They came bursting in wearing a ridiculous outfit and announce they want to do a show, sing a song or do a magic trick. They put on an adorable half assed little show, you congratulate them and tell them to go play. you know they will be back but at least you can continue the conversation for a while until they return.
 
2013-05-10 03:11:56 PM  

titwrench: Crewmannumber6: I don't know what it is about her but I hate that coont. Talk about being born on third acting like you hit a triple.

How long have you been chomping at the bit to be the guy that trots out that old chestnut?


Crewmannumber6: Somebody has some serious power behind her. She had a movie that Grossed Thirty Dollars(!!!) in it's opening weekend a couple years ago, and now there is nothing about it on IMDB or anywhere else.


Except for being the highest grossing movie currently out. You are trying really hard to be an ass today aren't you?


What time is it?
 
2013-05-10 03:20:17 PM  

Crewmannumber6: titwrench: Crewmannumber6: I don't know what it is about her but I hate that coont. Talk about being born on third acting like you hit a triple.

How long have you been chomping at the bit to be the guy that trots out that old chestnut?


Crewmannumber6: Somebody has some serious power behind her. She had a movie that Grossed Thirty Dollars(!!!) in it's opening weekend a couple years ago, and now there is nothing about it on IMDB or anywhere else.


Except for being the highest grossing movie currently out. You are trying really hard to be an ass today aren't you?

What time is it?


Lunch Time
 
2013-05-10 03:21:10 PM  
Shes hot. I'd stalk that. JUst gotta break out the stilts. Dont really give a shiat about her personality, its not like I want to sit around and listen to her talk.
 
2013-05-10 03:29:03 PM  
Well she is tall and her diamond tiara is also like one foot tall, so....
 
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