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(The Week)   Dear Starshine, My mother-in-law is dumb as a bag of hammers. Will my toddler catch The Stupid from her if I let the child hang around with her?   (theweek.com) divider line 88
    More: Stupid, The Stupids, Starshine, mother-in-law, hammers, rock musical  
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9477 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 May 2013 at 12:53 PM (49 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-10 12:00:08 PM
Your child is more at risk of catching the stupid from her because you inseminated her daughter.
 
2013-05-10 12:01:53 PM
Yes.
 
2013-05-10 12:11:15 PM
Starshine?!?
 
2013-05-10 12:12:11 PM
Your child is already a carrier
 
DAR [TotalFark]
2013-05-10 12:31:44 PM
Your real question should be:  is being stupid a genetic or environmental condition.......?????.......k/dar
 
2013-05-10 12:49:50 PM
Just to be clear here: the person asserting intellectual superiority in this dispute is the person seeking advice from a columnist named "Starshine."
 
2013-05-10 12:57:33 PM

basemetal: Yes.


Or, use it as a learning experience. "Gramma said blahblahblahderp". "Well, Gramma is a moron and this is why".
 
2013-05-10 12:57:39 PM
 
2013-05-10 12:58:04 PM
But I kinda liked the answer they got.  I would have been more to the point, but the columnist was nice, yet got the point across.
 
2013-05-10 12:58:28 PM
Dyeing your hair is really stupid, but this person is also requesting advice from a person named Starshine. I don't know where to start.
 
2013-05-10 01:02:14 PM

Sybarite: Starshine?!?


RIP Starscream
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-10 01:02:57 PM
B-b-but she undermines all her advice by saying she dies her hair.

It would be like my doctor giving me a whole bunch of prescriptions and then telling me he's not really a doctor.

/on the interweb, no one knows you dye your hair.
 
2013-05-10 01:03:53 PM

Trashy: Sybarite: Starshine?!?

RIP Starscream
[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 192x263]


Is that star scream or stars cream?
 
2013-05-10 01:03:58 PM

moothemagiccow: Dyeing your hair is really stupid, but this person is also requesting advice from a person named Starshine. I don't know where to start.


... With your early morning singing song?
 
2013-05-10 01:04:22 PM

ladyfortuna: basemetal: Yes.

Or, use it as a learning experience. "Gramma said blahblahblahderp". "Well, Gramma is a moron and this is why".


I have the same conversations with my son, only about his mother, my ex-wife.
 
2013-05-10 01:05:29 PM
Poor child is doomed and live happily ever after.
 
2013-05-10 01:06:42 PM
Starshine's response was actually intelligent and to the point; that is, "you're dumb as a bag of hammers for asking such a moronic question, let your daughter hang out with your mother, dumbass."
 
2013-05-10 01:09:23 PM
You make baby with MIL and compare.

/science is great!
 
2013-05-10 01:09:28 PM
Only if she's christian, republican, or teabagger. if it's a tri-fecta, you're farked...
 
2013-05-10 01:12:08 PM
media.theweek.com

Good morning, Starshine.
Your lips say hello

Glididdy gloop gloopy
Nibby nobby nooby
La la la lo lo
Sabba sibby sabba
Nooby abba dabba
Le le lo lo
dooby ooby walla
dooby abba dabba
Early morning singing song


And then there's a lot of other dirty thingss in that butchered song. I can't believe I waited30 years to use it on someone actually named Starshine..
 
2013-05-10 01:12:10 PM
well, the person is a bit rude about it, but I'd have to agree with the concept that if you hang around stupid people, it can influence the person's ability to use their brain.

My kids, when they hang around some stupid people (which can include relatives), they go all derpy for a while.

Heck, sometimes, just reading comments on Fark kills some of my brain cells.

And some people I've know that hung around with the wrong crowd went from good and smart to wasted and stupid.
 
2013-05-10 01:13:25 PM
What kind of parent is he? Children who don't learn how to interact with morons are going to have real trouble later in life.
 
2013-05-10 01:14:05 PM
Starshine got trolled.
 
2013-05-10 01:15:17 PM
Looks like she caught Starshine on a good day.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-05-10 01:16:52 PM
If stupidity was contagious, humanity would have died off long ago.
 
2013-05-10 01:17:26 PM
Q: "Is there any possibility, with prolonged exposer, that my mother-in-law could dumb down my daughter? "

A: Glibby gloop gloopy Nibby Nabby Noopy La La La Lo Lo
Sabba sibby sabba nooby abba nabba Le Le Lo Lo
Tooby ooby walla Nooby abba nabba

/den you put de lime in da coconut and drink dem both together
//put de lime in da coconut and den you feel better
 
2013-05-10 01:18:15 PM
Yes.  Being dumb is a learned behavior.  It's when you've decided that there's no value in not being dumb and that decision is influenced by your role models.
 
2013-05-10 01:21:23 PM

Rapmaster2000: Yes.  Being dumb is a learned behavior.  It's when you've decided that there's no value in not being dumb and that decision is influenced by your role models.


That explains the Tea Party, and most of the GOP.
 
2013-05-10 01:28:54 PM

special20: Rapmaster2000: Yes.  Being dumb is a learned behavior.  It's when you've decided that there's no value in not being dumb and that decision is influenced by your role models.

That explains the Tea Party, and most of the GOP.


And before you know it, you start making wild, polarizing generalizations!
 
2013-05-10 01:29:02 PM
Is it really possible to dye one's hair blonde? I was under the impression that you could only bleach it to a certain degree to attain a particular shade of blonde. Of course, I could be wrong.
 
2013-05-10 01:31:28 PM
Dear Concerned,

How old is your toddler? By the age of four, most toddlers are smart enough to realize that they are dealing with an adult who is an idiot. If the toddler is two or three, there is a slight chance of "catching the Stupid", but it is unlikely to damage the child permanently, provided there are a few better role models around. Living with idiots is a very important life skill which humans and some social animals acquire naturally.

And the role model doesn't have to be anything spectacular. Many toddlers have been rescued from the Stupid by a dog or cat, who act as a corrective to the idiocy of the Mother or Father figures.

About half of human intelligence is innate and half is environmentally determined. A child in an enriched environment can be extraordinarily precocious, precious, and annoying, but even in a deprived environment, where all the adults and children are idiots born and bred, an intelligent child can survive thanks to imaginary friends, demonic possession, or exposure to positive influences from television or books left on park benches by those annoying people who leave books in public places for other people to find and read. And, of course, the family dog may well be able to act as Nanny to the child.

Children were designed by Nature to thrive even if raised by parents with barely the intellectual capacity of apes. Parents have not evolved as quickly as children any way, because they are not affected by neoteny (except for Geek and Nerd Parents), so all children are, as a rule, more open and thoughtful than their care-givers. This explains how the population makes it through grade school teachers and kindergarten twits without serious degeneration of their mental capacity.

In worse cases scenarios, a gay uncle or aunt will take the child under their fairy wings and teach them the concepts of irony, kitsch, camp, and self-depreciating humour. In other words, will teach them that all of the adults that they know are morons. That's why God made gays--to correct the errors of heredity and evolution. Homosexuals are one of the rare creatures of God to pass their genes on two-steps forward and one step to the left or right, like the Knight's move in chess. Gayness is inherited from your uncles and aunts in much the same way that the Queen Bee's children are actually her sisters or something. Who knows from Queen Bees? Look it up in Wikipedia.
 
2013-05-10 01:31:54 PM

acad1228: Is it really possible to dye one's hair blonde? I was under the impression that you could only bleach it to a certain degree to attain a particular shade of blonde. Of course, I could be wrong.


Often times you bleach it to a a very light color, then dye that to the shade of blond you want.
 
2013-05-10 01:35:11 PM

Mangoose: Your child is more at risk of catching the stupid from her because you inseminated her daughter.


That's the first thing I thought of!

From the TFA : "My daughter was fortunate enough to have her parents' intelligence passed on to her"

...So... The kid was adopted then?

/Derp
 
2013-05-10 01:39:39 PM
The child won't catch the stupid if you vaccinate them early.
 
2013-05-10 01:39:46 PM

Sybarite: Starshine?!?


My exact response.
 
2013-05-10 01:40:27 PM
So is dyeing your hair dumber than getting a tattoo or is the tattoo dumber? I would think that tattoo is worse since it's permanent but honestly It's hard to gauge the thoughts of fark on these matters.  I mean I once got told off for making fun of prince alberts.

So basically;
tattoo                 bad
dyed hair           bad
dick jewelry        good

/takes notes
 
2013-05-10 01:42:04 PM

Rapmaster2000: Yes.  Being dumb is a learned behavior.  It's when you've decided that there's no value in not being dumb and that decision is influenced by your role models.


Being dumb isn't learned. If you're smart, you're smart, even if you lack common sense and/or act dumb. Being ignorant however, can definitely be a learned behavior. Eschewing the acquisition of knowledge is a choice, and a lot of even smart people seem to be okay with it.
 
2013-05-10 01:44:29 PM
My mother in law is a self-indulgent, narrow minded, occasionally delusional harpy who hates people for no good reason, but likes to vent her spleen at foreigners and the poor, typically without a reasoned argument. She always frames her world in how things affect her first,every one else last.  When we told her we were having kids, her Weeners was, 'Well *I* can't help you!". Not that we asked, but was a 'hooray' to much to be asked for?A lot of this comes from being a burnt-out ER nurse who saw WAY too much of the underside of humanity for 35 years. She divorced my father in law years ago, hates men in general, and likes to pass judgement on everything everybody else does. My brother in law is in therapy, and it's taken my wife years to learn to argue without feeling like she's not allowed, or that it's all her fault. My m-i-l isn't actually stupid, but there's a level of intellectual laziness she demonstrates, a deliberate effort to ever think past the end of her own nose, that both frustrating and scary.

Now we've got twins on the way, and I swear to god,if she uses any of her vicious, insulting, you'll-never-succeed-unless-you-do-as-I-say rhetoric, she'll never see them again.

The guy who wrote the letter may be a jerk who can't articulate the problem well, but he may have a real concern.
 
2013-05-10 01:44:56 PM
Wow, didn't know so many Farkers were missing from my ignore list.
 
2013-05-10 01:44:59 PM
I hate to break it to you momsie - but at 15 months, you don't know dick about the actual intelligence of your child.

and you sound like a coont.
 
2013-05-10 01:47:15 PM
The person who wrote the letter is probably more stupider than they think they are.
 
2013-05-10 01:47:40 PM

acad1228: Is it really possible to dye one's hair blonde?


What is the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
//If you dump a load in a washing machine it does not follow you around for a week.
 
2013-05-10 01:47:46 PM
My mother is a fundie teabagger type.  My sister & I both have 10 year old sons.

My sister's kid is at grandma's house almost everyday.  Grandma has taught the boy that the world is 6,000 years old and that dinosaurs are the work of the devil.  She has also taught him that black/brown people are scary and bad.  The kid goes to a really good school and is otherwise a smart kid.  Unfortunately, he believes everything his grandma says is true.

We live in a different state and limit visits with her to once a year at most.  I don't want my mom's particular brand of crazy to influence my kid in any way.  Hell, most of my family are drug addicts, child molesters, and/or violent.  You don't get to be around my kid just because we're related.
 
2013-05-10 01:47:50 PM

acad1228: Is it really possible to dye one's hair blonde? I was under the impression that you could only bleach it to a certain degree to attain a particular shade of blonde. Of course, I could be wrong.


You can bleach and then dye. Often with one treatment.

Blonde, however, is a state of mind, not a pigment.

Interestingly, blue eyes are the result of a lack of pigmentation rather than a pigment. There are only two pigments--carotene and melanin. Blue eyes result when the pigmentation is low and the light is scattered by lipids (fat) in the iris. Green and hazel eyes are variations on the same them.

(Some silly critic criticized Gustave Flaubert because Mme. Bovary's eyes are several different colours in the novel of the same name. But Flaubert was not being forgetful. He was being observant. Mme. Bovary had that kind of eye whose colour depends as much on ambiant lighting as the innate pigmentation, and possibly can even be shifted by her mood or the viewer's feelings. Flaubert was a genius and his critics are mostly morons. I learned that from Donald Barthelme, who is an exception to the rule. He understood Flaubert perfectly and has written some very interesting books of his own.)

Colour is a fascinating study, being the result of pigments, refraction, reflection, interferance, light, and even texture. Many of the colours in nature--especially blue--result not from pigments but from light effects. For example, the feathers of many brightly coloured birds, and the colours of many other creatures such as reptiles and fish, are the result of defraction of light by the texturing of the surface of the feather, scale, or whatnot.

Technically you can take something which is naturally black and make it a glorious rainbow of colours or even bright white by carving tiny ridges and troughs in the material. You can even make gold in a range of designer colours this way, although I don't know of a lot of jewelers who use micro-texture in their work.

You will have noticed that, with the exception of the special black socks purchased by priests, most black textiles are not really black but rather greenish, brownish, reddish, blueish breenish, etc. This is because there is more than one way to dye a cat.

The cloth is blackish rather than true black. I would love to have a waistcoat in 100 colours of black.

Years ago, there were pansies that grew on the lawn of the apartment building where I live. They were an extremely deep crimson colour, but looked almost black at times. I loved them dearly because there's very little more fun or beautiful in the world than gorgeous black pansies.

But I digress.
 
2013-05-10 01:48:37 PM
you cant catch the dumb

but.............

I suspect if gramma was religious dumb, everyone would be sing from the same sheet.....keep that dumb biatch away from the kids before they catch the religious dumb
 
2013-05-10 01:49:09 PM

StrikitRich: Wow, didn't know so many Farkers were missing from my ignore list.


Just out of curiosity what was it in this thread that offended you so much? This isn't exactly a serious thread.
 
2013-05-10 01:53:36 PM

Crewmannumber6: basemetal: Yes.

The Earth says hello
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAOTxAGJUug


lonelymachines.org
 
2013-05-10 01:55:44 PM

brantgoose: acad1228: Is it really possible to dye one's hair blonde? I was under the impression that you could only bleach it to a certain degree to attain a particular shade of blonde. Of course, I could be wrong.

You can bleach and then dye. Often with one treatment.

Blonde, however, is a state of mind, not a pigment.

Interestingly, blue eyes are the result of a lack of pigmentation rather than a pigment. There are only two pigments--carotene and melanin. Blue eyes result when the pigmentation is low and the light is scattered by lipids (fat) in the iris. Green and hazel eyes are variations on the same them.

(Some silly critic criticized Gustave Flaubert because Mme. Bovary's eyes are several different colours in the novel of the same name. But Flaubert was not being forgetful. He was being observant. Mme. Bovary had that kind of eye whose colour depends as much on ambiant lighting as the innate pigmentation, and possibly can even be shifted by her mood or the viewer's feelings. Flaubert was a genius and his critics are mostly morons. I learned that from Donald Barthelme, who is an exception to the rule. He understood Flaubert perfectly and has written some very interesting books of his own.)

Colour is a fascinating study, being the result of pigments, refraction, reflection, interferance, light, and even texture. Many of the colours in nature--especially blue--result not from pigments but from light effects. For example, the feathers of many brightly coloured birds, and the colours of many other creatures such as reptiles and fish, are the result of defraction of light by the texturing of the surface of the feather, scale, or whatnot.

Technically you can take something which is naturally black and make it a glorious rainbow of colours or even bright white by carving tiny ridges and troughs in the material. You can even make gold in a range of designer colours this way, although I don't know of a lot of jewelers who use micro-texture in their work.

You will have notic ...


You!  Are!  Awesome!
 
2013-05-10 01:55:48 PM

furterfan: you cant catch the dumb

but.............

I suspect if gramma was religious dumb, everyone would be sing from the same sheet.....keep that dumb biatch away from the kids before they catch the religious dumb


You must have missed this chart the first million times it was posted.

1.bp.blogspot.com
It's OK you must be new to the internet.

/hot
 
2013-05-10 01:56:22 PM

Egoy3k: StrikitRich: Wow, didn't know so many Farkers were missing from my ignore list.

Just out of curiosity what was it in this thread that offended you so much? This isn't exactly a serious thread.


Just the bigoted hypocrisy I see in many comments.
 
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