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(Huffington Post)   The MO legislature in a night that can only be described as Derp-o-palooza 2013 pass laws outlawing Sharia law and UN Agenda 21, making it a crime to enforce federal gun laws and allowing principals to fire teachers who won't carry guns at school   (huffingtonpost.com ) divider line
    More: Scary, San Francisco, pass laws, sharia law  
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3935 clicks; posted to Politics » on 10 May 2013 at 7:15 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-10 07:09:04 AM  
Copied from the redlit thread:  Allowing teachers to be fired if they DON'T carry a gun?  Surely subby jests.

Well, from reading actual linked bill, subby only partially jests.  Yes, 'school protection officers' can be fired if they don't carry while on school property, but 'the responsibilities and duties of a school protection officer are voluntary'.

Not, quite as bad as subby implied.  But still stupid since the law also allows these school protection officers to detain anything they see or anyone they have a reasonable suspicion of breaking the law.  That section of the bill does not limit it to school property.  Have fun being detained in the Walmart parking lot because the driver's ed teacher think you illegally used an EBT card.

And the truly derpy parts are the ones which not only make it a misdemeanor for employees of the federal government to enforce federal laws, but actually allow people who have those laws enforced against them to SUE the agents for doing so.
 
2013-05-10 07:12:22 AM  
Isn't banning Agenda 21 kinda like holding a vote to ban the Hunger Games?
 
2013-05-10 07:14:06 AM  
I'm sure MO is just crawling with muslims trying to force Sharia Law on those poor real Americans...
 
2013-05-10 07:15:14 AM  
One of the smartest things early 20th Century America did was pass the 17th Amendment.  Can you imagine what the Senate would look like if the assholes in all these state legislatures got to vote on their lawmakers instead of the public?
 
2013-05-10 07:19:36 AM  

UNC_Samurai: One of the smartest things early 20th Century America did was pass the 17th Amendment.  Can you imagine what the Senate would look like if the assholes in all these state legislatures got to vote on their lawmakers instead of the public?


Hate to break this to you, but the public voted those assholes into their state legislature.
 
2013-05-10 07:19:51 AM  
This is the state that brought us Todd Akin after all.

/from MO
//hangs head in shame
 
2013-05-10 07:19:52 AM  
The UN will be sending a Strongly Worded Letter TM shortly to the MO legislature
 
2013-05-10 07:20:11 AM  

keylock71: I'm sure MO is just crawling with muslims trying to force Sharia Law on those poor real Americans...


I can tell you're being sarcastic, but it's exactly because the state is not "crawling" with them that they're so dangerous. When you can't see your enemy, it's because he or she is hiding and preparing to strike. Think about 9-11 -- we didn't see the terrorists until they were up there flying planes into buildings, and by then it was basically too late. If there's a threat out there, and you can't see proof, that means you need to buckle down and get ready for the hit, because it's about to happen.
 
2013-05-10 07:20:56 AM  
Christ, isn't there somewhere we can dump the whackjobs that infest the Midwest and the South? I'd say just let 'em secede, but I, for one, don't want the third-world hellholes Teabagger-run countries would inevitably become on our doorstep.
 
2013-05-10 07:21:09 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Isn't banning Agenda 21 kinda like holding a vote to ban the Hunger Games?


More like banning the "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". It exists, but it is merely some suggestions and guidelines.
 
2013-05-10 07:21:33 AM  
Given the number of Christian Terrorists in Missouri, it appears as though they were only passing laws based upon their constituents desires.
 
2013-05-10 07:23:12 AM  

Pocket Ninja: keylock71: I'm sure MO is just crawling with muslims trying to force Sharia Law on those poor real Americans...

I can tell you're being sarcastic, but it's exactly because the state is not "crawling" with them that they're so dangerous. When you can't see your enemy, it's because he or she is hiding and preparing to strike. Think about 9-11 -- we didn't see the terrorists until they were up there flying planes into buildings, and by then it was basically too late. If there's a threat out there, and you can't see proof, that means you need to buckle down and get ready for the hit, because it's about to happen.


I've been Pocket Ninja'd... Nice. : )
 
2013-05-10 07:25:14 AM  

keylock71: I'm sure MO is just crawling with muslims trying to force Sharia Law on those poor real Americans...


Here's my theory about Americans who are scared of Sharia Law.

You could take a Sharia constitution (say, Sudan), open it with MS Word, perform a few quick Find & Replace actions (Mohammed to Jesus, Muslim to Christian, Mosque to Church, etc.), and those exact same Americans would hail it as the ideal framework for a new US Constitution.

I'd love to see someone like a Daily Show correspondent try that. The results would be pretty entertaining.
 
2013-05-10 07:26:51 AM  

Dog Welder: UNC_Samurai: One of the smartest things early 20th Century America did was pass the 17th Amendment.  Can you imagine what the Senate would look like if the assholes in all these state legislatures got to vote on their lawmakers instead of the public?

Hate to break this to you, but the public voted those assholes into their state legislature.


At least state-wide elections are immune to gerrymandering.
 
2013-05-10 07:28:32 AM  
Is there any more room on the Professors Space ship?
 
2013-05-10 07:30:22 AM  
On the upside, at least the people of Missouri would like to place armed guards to protect children instead of just protecting bank notes and shiny rocks.

On the downside, the people of Missouri want to protect children from a full education so their children wait until college to become atheists.
 
2013-05-10 07:31:10 AM  

Dog Welder: UNC_Samurai: One of the smartest things early 20th Century America did was pass the 17th Amendment.  Can you imagine what the Senate would look like if the assholes in all these state legislatures got to vote on their lawmakers instead of the public?

Hate to break this to you, but the public voted those assholes into their state legislature.


But imagine a Senate with Baucus, Rockefeller, Tim Johnson, Pryor, Hagan, and Joe Manchin replaced by teahadists.  Oh, and Claire McCaskill would have never stood a shot against Todd Rapin in the Missouri General Assembly.
 
2013-05-10 07:31:32 AM  
i51.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-10 07:32:01 AM  

clkeagle: keylock71: I'm sure MO is just crawling with muslims trying to force Sharia Law on those poor real Americans...

Here's my theory about Americans who are scared of Sharia Law.

You could take a Sharia constitution (say, Sudan), open it with MS Word, perform a few quick Find & Replace actions (Mohammed to Jesus, Muslim to Christian, Mosque to Church, etc.), and those exact same Americans would hail it as the ideal framework for a new US Constitution.

I'd love to see someone like a Daily Show correspondent try that. The results would be pretty entertaining.


Given how often I see FARK references on The Daily Show, I expect this to be a thing within the next week.
 
2013-05-10 07:32:31 AM  
I've been to Missouri. I'm not surprised.
 
2013-05-10 07:37:37 AM  
Oh Missouri. You've gone full Kansas. Never go full Kansas.
 
2013-05-10 07:37:46 AM  
All is well in Dumbfarkistan
 
2013-05-10 07:38:35 AM  
Save us Jay Nixon, you're our only hope.
 
2013-05-10 07:40:05 AM  
 
2013-05-10 07:42:10 AM  
These RINO's didn't go far enough.
 
2013-05-10 07:42:13 AM  
Every day that goes by I am becoming more and more in favor of the south seceding.  Please do it.  Please?  Pretty please?
 
2013-05-10 07:44:52 AM  

Dog Welder: UNC_Samurai: One of the smartest things early 20th Century America did was pass the 17th Amendment.  Can you imagine what the Senate would look like if the assholes in all these state legislatures got to vote on their lawmakers instead of the public?

Hate to break this to you, but the public voted those assholes into their state legislature.



At least at the state level the populations of St. Louis and KC are just enough of a counterbalance to allow a conservative Democrat who pulls a modest number of votes in the rural districts to win. Granted, Aiken would have won handily without the "legitimate rape" comment, but that flipped enough women out in the sticks to send McCaskill back to Washington.
 
2013-05-10 07:45:08 AM  

Dog Welder: UNC_Samurai: One of the smartest things early 20th Century America did was pass the 17th Amendment.  Can you imagine what the Senate would look like if the assholes in all these state legislatures got to vote on their lawmakers instead of the public?

Hate to break this to you, but the public voted those assholes into their state legislature.


There is a...concentration effect with the local politicians, all competing to out-derp each other.  The guys running for national office, well, at least the national party will try to prevent an overt racist from running for senate.
 
2013-05-10 07:45:57 AM  

LordJiro: Christ, isn't there somewhere we can dump the whackjobs that infest the Midwest and the South? I'd say just let 'em secede,


Is there a way to secede them whether they like it or not?
 
2013-05-10 07:47:17 AM  

keylock71: I'm sure MO is just crawling with muslims trying to force Sharia Law on those poor real Americans...


I don't know about Missouri, but I recently had an incident in Ohio where I was confronted by a Real American who took offense to the Borat-promotion "Glorious Kazakhstan" T-shirt I was wearing.

So yeah, some of these people live in a reality where terrists are evverwahr and we all need to be real vigilant and ready to kick ass.

/The incident occurred at a Wal-Mart.
//They have cheap blu-rays sometimes, is why I was there. . . .
 
2013-05-10 07:48:17 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-10 07:49:42 AM  
Just let the south secede.

Please.

They obviously want a very very different kind of country.  Let them have it.
 
2013-05-10 07:54:30 AM  

Doc Daneeka: Just let the south secede.

Please.

They obviously want a very very different kind of country.  Let them have it.


Yes, but would you want a heavily-armed, derpy, religious fundamentalist, 3rd world hellhole on your southern border?  I realize we have Mexico now, but they're not overly religious.
 
2013-05-10 07:58:33 AM  

Dog Welder: Yes, but would you want a heavily-armed, derpy, religious fundamentalist, 3rd world hellhole on your southern border?


Wouldn't that be better than having a heavily-armed, derpy, religious fundamentalist, 3rd world hellhole *inside* your borders?
 
2013-05-10 07:58:44 AM  
It may be a good idea to put a school security officer onto school buses in case they have a covert Muslim Puerto Rican bus driver looking for seventy-two virgins in every life.
 
2013-05-10 07:59:40 AM  
To everyone who finds this SCARY...Bless your hearts.
 
2013-05-10 07:59:49 AM  

Uncle Tractor: Dog Welder: Yes, but would you want a heavily-armed, derpy, religious fundamentalist, 3rd world hellhole on your southern border?

Wouldn't that be better than having a heavily-armed, derpy, religious fundamentalist, 3rd world hellhole *inside* your borders?


I agree.  If they do something stupid, declare war, wipe them out, and we're back to square one without the Derp.
 
2013-05-10 08:01:48 AM  
SMALL GOVERNMENT

"STATES' RIGHTS"
 
2013-05-10 08:01:56 AM  
Outlawing sharia and Agenda 21, eh?

www.eightnotrump.com

Missouri, I would like to buy your bill.

/ "Sharia" is not a proper noun
// "sharia law" is probably not correct. It's probably just "sharia" because "sharia" alone implies a legal or moral code to be followed
/// sorry to be pedantic, but I had to offset the Missourah superderp in my head with some actual thinking before my brain melted and flowed out my ear canal
 
2013-05-10 08:03:23 AM  

markfara: I don't know about Missouri, but I recently had an incident in Ohio where I was confronted by a Real American who took offense to the Borat-promotion "Glorious Kazakhstan" T-shirt I was wearing.


I'm curios, what did he say?
 
2013-05-10 08:04:39 AM  

Dog Welder: Yes, but would you want a heavily-armed, derpy, religious fundamentalist, 3rd world hellhole on your southern border? I realize we have Mexico now, but they're not overly religious.


I lived in El Paso for about 20 years.  Lots of border crossing, so I'd say I've got a decent local sample data set.  They're heavily Catholic, but Catholics from my observations agree with science for the most part, and the few derpy things I do remember were really from individuals who didn't have any interest in making their derp the law of the land; they were happy with keeping the derp at home.  It made for some strange visits with my friends during high school, but I'll still say "Hi" to Mrs. Dominguez when I go back to visit the family.
 
2013-05-10 08:05:00 AM  

jehovahs witness protection: To everyone who finds this SCARY...Bless your hearts.


Yea, right. Nothing at all scary about elected officials with the power to legislate people's lives who decide to spend their time attacking "problems" that exist solely in the heads of deranged conspiracy nutbags.

Nothing scary about that at all.
 
2013-05-10 08:05:20 AM  
This is the most interesting mix of Ignorance, Racism and Xenophobia I have ever witnessed from a legislative body. Couple in the 'Blatant Playing To The Ignorance, Racism, and Xenophobia Of Their Constituents , and you end up with a Perfect Storm of Derp.

I have a very Liberal ex-girlfriend who is living in Missouri now. I'm sure this is just driving her insane.
 
2013-05-10 08:05:23 AM  
I see, so you guys WANT Sharia Law.

Move to Michigan, then.
 
2013-05-10 08:07:49 AM  

Slappy McLongstockings: It may be a good idea to put a school security officer onto school buses in case they have a covert Muslim Puerto Rican bus driver looking for seventy-two virgins in every life.


Well, just the elementary school busses. As they get older, you get less virgins on the busses.

/Because Democrats teach middle schoolers to be whores!
//hyuk, hyuk
 
2013-05-10 08:07:51 AM  

markfara: So yeah, some of these people live in a reality where terrists are evverwahr and we all need to be real vigilant and ready to kick ass.


It's always the one's living in some fly-over shiat hole, which no terrorist on earth has even heard of, who are the most afraid of "terrorist" or "sharia".
 
2013-05-10 08:08:08 AM  

blackminded: Given how often I see FARK references on The Daily Show, I expect this to be a thing within the next week.


It does seem like a few of the writers hang out in Politics threads... hopefully they aren't on break next week.

Uncle Tractor: Dog Welder: Yes, but would you want a heavily-armed, derpy, religious fundamentalist, 3rd world hellhole on your southern border?

Wouldn't that be better than having a heavily-armed, derpy, religious fundamentalist, 3rd world hellhole *inside* your borders?

 
2013-05-10 08:08:26 AM  
Since most federal gun laws are obviously unconstitutional, I have no problem with criminalizing their enforcement.   Congress is in the habit of passing unconstitutional laws, knowing they'll have their way for years before challenges will be accepted by the supreme court, so for this part, the state is really just correcting a wrong.
 
2013-05-10 08:08:51 AM  
I think if I was in their legislature, I would have proposed an amendment to declare pi as being equal to 3.

If you're going to be a laughing stock, may as well go full retard.

/surprised there was nothing mentioned about slut vaccine and legitimate rape.
 
2013-05-10 08:10:04 AM  
Missouri isn't the south, by the way. Midwest state, Union affiliation.

IT'S SPREADING.
 
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