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(Hyperbole and a Half)   ಌ Maybe everything isn't hopeless bullshiat ಌ   (hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com) divider line 158
    More: Spiffy  
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17592 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2013 at 6:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2013-05-09 06:46:03 PM
19 votes:

TheOtherMisterP: I was in a decent mood until I started reading that....comic? Whatever it is. Everything about the page is just freaking creepy to me.


Try living it.
2013-05-09 06:35:36 PM
11 votes:
Woo! My first green. :D

This is one of her heavier pieces but most of her other posts are absolutely hilarious. Much advised.

Honestly I don't care if she's "back" or not, just that she is okay. She disappeared fairly abruptly when she became depressed.
2013-05-09 07:23:47 PM
9 votes:
To everyone that doesn't get it...

Just... be thankful. Remember what you've read so you can draw on that knowledge if you need it later, for yourself or for someone else... but be thankful.
2013-05-09 07:18:10 PM
8 votes:
If you understand and/or identify with this comic, you are depressed or at some time in your life have been depressed.

If you don't understand it, you're lucky.
2013-05-09 06:47:43 PM
8 votes:

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Who is this person? A Farker? Would explain the unjustified comments praising her work


The answers to your questions are in the archives of her past posts on her website.  She used to regularly post insanely funny things with poorly drawn (but brilliantly done) MSPaint pics for emphasis.  About two years ago, her posts started to slow down.  About a year and a half ago, she fell off the face of the internet.  There was one post to alert folks she was battling with major depression, and one appearance on Reddit, but otherwise silence.  Before she disappeared she was widely read by many farkers, and many of her blog posts got their own threads here.   Plus, she's not ugly.  At all.  Which caused many of the guys to drool over her.

So, with that context, I really hope she gets better.   If she starts posting again, it'll be an incidental benefit.
2013-05-09 07:32:46 PM
6 votes:
data.whicdn.com
Oh, and I like this one, too.
2013-05-09 07:14:26 PM
6 votes:

Shadow Blasko: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

((Hugs))

I'm really sorry.

My happys are finally starting to last longer than 15 minutes at a time, and my sads are at least for identifiable reasons, but I'm still about 75% numb.

/hope it comes back for you, and plays nice when it does.


My corn moment happened when I looked out my window, a chance glance, and I saw the most random thing ever.

A three-legged dog chasing a squirrel with no tail in circles. I kid you not, the absolute absurdity of the entire world slammed on me. I felt like my entire 4 years worth of depression and cowardly attempted suicides(Relationship went excruciatingly sour, lost job, drowning in debt, etc.) was suddenly turned into complete mirth. I couldn't help but fall down and laugh for what felt like days. My ribs hurt, my mouth hurt, and my eyes burned with sweet salty tears of laughter. To this day I don't know what happened to that dog or the squirrel, I'd like to think they made amends and went down for a drink to talk about old war wounds.

I missed Allie, and hoped she was okay. It's good to know she was and appears to be finally rebuilding her emotions.

/nobody should need a "corn" moment
//nobody
2013-05-09 06:52:27 PM
6 votes:
The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS
2013-05-09 06:53:38 PM
5 votes:
Wow, a lot of dicks in this thread to add to my Ignore list.


Yeah I know. "Welcome to Fark."
2013-05-09 06:49:45 PM
5 votes:

TheOtherMisterP: I was in a decent mood until I started reading that....comic? Whatever it is. Everything about the page is just freaking creepy to me.


Well, that's what a lot of people are living through.

Are you just gonna ignore them because you feel creeped out about it?
2013-05-09 06:43:37 PM
5 votes:

GilRuiz1: Hyperbole and a Half is back!!!  Yay!


I think that covers it quite nicely.

And I'm cleaning ALL THE THINGS Sunday.
2013-05-09 06:43:21 PM
5 votes:
This is... remarkably similar to my own life right now, except that the "fine, I'll go to a doctor if you stop making that noise" phase sort of looped into "I've gone to 10 doctors, but I can't pay for any of the medication I'm supposed to be perscribed and I can't pay for therapy, so now what?"

Of course, the fact that repeated doctor visits didn't help is just proof that I wasn't really trying, which is okay, because obviously if I'm not trying I don't want to get better and I deserve whatever happens to me.
2013-05-09 09:46:15 PM
4 votes:
"No, see, I don't necessarily want to KILL myself...I just want to become dead somehow."

Nailed it.
2013-05-09 09:25:10 PM
4 votes:

SnakeLee: Wow being depressed sounds shiatty


Yep.

Imagine going through life, knowing with complete certainty that you're a worthless sack of trash, and everything you have ever done, or ever will do, is crap and a waste of time, and the world would be a better place without you.

And nothing can convince you otherwise.
2013-05-09 08:19:09 PM
4 votes:

J. Frank Parnell: Should have embraced buddhism or some other philosophy when she was having the existential breakdown about everything being pointless. There's absolutely nothing wrong with thinking that, and it can lead to a new, more honest, way to be happy. Instead it seems her road to happiness is to continue trying to be happy about the meaningless and superficial crap she became disillusioned with.

/"Products and TV shows give my life meaning!"


I don't think that is what she said at all. The toys and bowling and dead goldfish were just analogies to help explain depression to non-depressed people. Suggesting that a new philosophy or religion will cure depression is rather insulting to the depressed person and just another form of telling them to "man up and get through it". Just imagine how insulting it would be to tell someone "become a christian and jesus will cure your depression, see if you were just a better christian you wouldn't be depressed". You may not mean to but that is essentially what you are doing here but with buddism instead of jesus.

Don't get me wrong, talk therapy kind of IS helping you to change your philosophy about life but it is much more than that too and for severe long term depression like what she seems to have usually works best when it goes along with medication.
2013-05-09 07:16:55 PM
4 votes:
i.imgur.com

/feeling alot of feels right now, not the least of which is happy that ALL THE FUNSIGHTFUL has returned to INTERNET! FOREVER!
//which is why I'll never be an adult, and that's just fine too.
2013-05-09 07:14:07 PM
4 votes:
If you don't understand this, it's because it hasn't happened to you ... yet.
2013-05-09 07:08:22 PM
4 votes:
You know what's really good for getting through to the other side of depression? Drugs and alcohol and escapist activities and making bad decisions.
Know what totally farked up your life after you figure out how to not be depressed? Drugs and alcohol and escapist activities and making bad decisions.

Our society ain't big on second chances unless you've got a really awesome story about overcoming adversity.
2013-05-09 07:02:12 PM
4 votes:
That was a really accurate portrayal of depression.

I have found that thankfulness, even if forced upon yourself, can be really useful. YMMV.
2013-05-09 06:55:07 PM
4 votes:
Dude on Couch and I are SO happy to see her post again - nice to know she's alive and actively blogging. Plus, while I realize her 2 depression posts might be a bit hard to read, they portray it very well (both humorously and accurately) and in an odd way inspire me....  Maybe I'll find my own "dehydrated corn under the fridge" soon  :)
2013-05-09 06:46:04 PM
4 votes:
I gotta say the previous post about depression and this one hit too close to home. Glad she's back tho
2013-05-09 06:39:36 PM
4 votes:
Hyperbole and a Half is back!!!  Yay!
2013-05-09 05:05:15 PM
4 votes:
Happy to see that she's back
2013-05-09 10:20:53 PM
3 votes:
Creativity is a double edged sword. The hard wiring in your brain that makes you creative also makes you very susceptible to depression. It's the cross creative people just have to bear. I've been depressed since childhood. I've found that St. John's Wort keeps the blackest moods at bay, with only a little hit to my libido.

I bear my cross like a badge of honor. I've invented lots of things, got patents, been complimented on my writing skills, can make people laugh enough for them to seek out my company, even tho I'm weird as hell.

I understand that my feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness DO NOT reflect reality, merely a malfunction in my brain wiring. The Matrix movies sort of clarified that for me. Our perceptions of the world around us are the product of our brains creating our consciousness. Once you understand the processing malfunction is creating the feelings, and not actual facts, it becomes easier to fight off those feelings.

I chug along, like a farm laborer hoeing an endless field, and occasionally a little nugget of happiness or satisfaction turns up and I enjoy it, until the feeling fades and I go back to the dull existence of endlessly hoeing, in hopes of another nugget showing up. My pets help a lot. Keeping other people at arm's length helps, since it avoids potential hurt and angst.

I watch other people leading happy, satisfying lives and wonder how it feels, much like someone born with just one arm watches other people clap. I didn't create this depression, I was born to it. I've learned to live with it, just like the one armed man. I don't fear suicide, I see it as a last resort, like a test pilot being comforted by having an ejection seat to use if it becomes necessary.
2013-05-09 09:27:01 PM
3 votes:
My depression has been going strong for 32 years now. There's been the occasional brief respite, and I have this vague sense that it felt really amazing, but I can't really *remember* how it felt. I've tried everything insurance would cover, spent 25 years in therapy, driven away lovers and friends, lost jobs, and finally settled on a tiny, proscribed, empty existence in which the only bright spots are my cat, the occasional good meal when I feel up to cooking, and the time I spend in a virtual world where my life revolves around music and kinky sex.

When I think about maybe trying harder, maybe making one more push to try to dig out of this quicksand, I remember the friend of a friend who, having exhausted all other options, had a vagus nerve stimulator implanted in her body. It didn't help. A couple of years later, she drank a bottle of bleach.

It didn't kill her. It just destroyed her health, gave her husband an excuse to take away her kids in the divorce, and made her life even more miserable.

This life... it's tolerable. I've long since given up on wanting more; all I want is to be left alone to manage what little enjoyment I can wring out of the few things I have the energy for. It's fine as long as I don't think about it too much. I expect I can go on this way indefinitely. And at least I'm not dragging anyone else down with me anymore.
2013-05-09 09:18:26 PM
3 votes:
To support the fish analogy, in response to her, "my fish are dead." I'd offer: "yeah, my fish seem like they die sometimes too.  That's OK. You're OK. Lets go do some other things for awhile and check on your fish later. Maybe they're not dead."

/Get involved with something important in your life and you'll start to give a shait.
//and don't underestimate good therapy
2013-05-09 08:39:31 PM
3 votes:

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Have any of you sad sacks tried manning (or womanning) up and dealing with things? Depression is like adhd, namely that its not a real thing.


I am 100% certain that if you had to spend five minutes inside my head you would be crushed into an infinitely dense point of utter blackness and despair, and then implode.

You know NOTHING. You understand NOTHING. Your opinions mean NOTHING. You goddamned ignorant bee-eating toad dropping.
2013-05-09 07:57:33 PM
3 votes:
That is more true than anyone without depression can hope to understand.
2013-05-09 07:39:22 PM
3 votes:
While my depression might not have been quite as severe, I do remember thinking, "I have nothing in my whole life to look forward to," and also wondering if things would be easier if I were just dead.

I never want to go back there.

I empathize with her and with everyone else in this thread who've gone through (or are currently struggling with) depression.  And I notice that a lot of people don't get it.  More than that -- they don't WANT to get it.  They recoil from depressed people as if depression were a giant oozing sore on our foreheads.  It's like they need to call us weak or lazy as quick as they POSSIBLY can, as if that were a way to prove they are superior and therefore make themselves immune to depression.

Luckily, there are a lot of really caring and empathetic people who also don't get it, but at least they try to understand.
2013-05-09 07:36:37 PM
3 votes:
So, quite possibly all the attention this is getting will make some people realize, "hey, I'm depressed, I should see a doctor or something." Depression ≠ sadness but alot* of people don't know that, and they figure if they don't constantly feel like their dog just got run over they must not be depressed.

However, judging from the comments threads I've seen about it on the internets today, the main psychotherapeutic benefit of this blog post seems to be its ability to diagnose people with rage issues. Damn!

deliberate
2013-05-09 07:31:49 PM
3 votes:

Meethos: ialdabaoth: TheOtherMisterP: I was in a decent mood until I started reading that....comic? Whatever it is. Everything about the page is just freaking creepy to me.

Try living it.

We get it, you're bummed out. Get over it.


3.bp.blogspot.com
2013-05-09 07:05:42 PM
3 votes:

Cubicle Jockey: MelGoesOnTour: Great story.

By the way, can someone tell me who "she" is? I guess I missed something.

Read these:
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/10/god-of-cake.html

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-b as ic-concepts.html


Also read these:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-yo u- at-everything.html

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/09/party.html

and, my personal favorite (and origin of the "All the things!" meme):

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never- be -adult.html
2013-05-09 07:02:32 PM
3 votes:
I just read this and...it was like reading my biography.

/waiting for the corn
2013-05-09 07:00:45 PM
3 votes:
2013-05-09 06:54:55 PM
3 votes:
//Super happy (see what I did there) that she is back. Those two posts are one of the best descriptors of what's it like I have ever read

///Well, that and Melancholia
2013-05-09 06:50:14 PM
3 votes:

ialdabaoth: TheOtherMisterP: I was in a decent mood until I started reading that....comic? Whatever it is. Everything about the page is just freaking creepy to me.

Try living it.


^Aaaaaand this^
2013-05-09 06:47:46 PM
3 votes:
I'm surprised at how modern medicine has missed what is so clear to the WebMDs here in this thread. Namely, that depression can be fixed by a good deep dicking.

Fark never ceases to amaze me.
2013-05-09 06:46:21 PM
3 votes:
I LOVE THIS ALOT
2013-05-09 06:44:21 PM
3 votes:

Elandriel: Woo! My first green. :D

This is one of her heavier pieces but most of her other posts are absolutely hilarious. Much advised.

Honestly I don't care if she's "back" or not, just that she is okay. She disappeared fairly abruptly when she became depressed.


I noticed Boyfriend is not mentioned at all on this post nor the previous depression one.
2013-05-10 03:50:47 AM
2 votes:

Bandito King: Ohhhhhh! No, you misunderstand. I'm not threatened by them, I find them irritating. See, my farked up nervous system gives me the 'rage' and it's exacerbated by mopey little shiats like this. So sorry I can't be bothered to filter it like I do when I'm out in the world but eh, it's fark. Plus, you know, I couldn't give less of a damn about your feelings.

Most people are expected to cope. Depressed people just give up and let themselves be overwhelmed by the monumental task of getting out of bed. You want me to empathize with that? I'd rather euthanize them. So it's best for my sanity and theirs if they just keep it to themselves like an... what's the word... oh, adult. You don't matter. Your feelings don't matter. Get over it or kill yourself. But for chrissakes, Shut. The. fark. Up. About it.


So...what you're really trying to say is you're not a coward, you're just a raging sociopathic asshat?
2013-05-10 12:10:12 AM
2 votes:

traylor: It's called apathy, not depression.


Uhhhhh....lolwut?

Apathy is a symptom of depression.

What you're saying is like saying "It's called blowing your nose, not a cold".
2013-05-09 11:25:43 PM
2 votes:
I have to respect my friend. I have to treat his mental processes with a certain kind of respect.

There's no way to just yell at him to take off those damned shiat coloured glasses.

There's not even a nice way to pry those things off. It cannot be done that way. Period.

People used to tell me "get over it!" with my own crap, and to be perfectly blunt I wanted very badly to stick the crap in my mind into THEIR mind and see how the fark they liked it and to see if they could just "get over it" with a happy little snap of the fingers the way they wanted me to do.

So when I talk to my friend through the Net, I stick with him as much as I can for that day, through that choking mental muck.

I listen. That's all I can do to help. He needs someone to listen. It's all he asks.

It does help.

That's all I can say on it.

Hang on, buddy.
2013-05-09 11:17:37 PM
2 votes:

Cato: SmackLT: Happy to see that she's back

fark you. No, seriously, fark YOU. This isn't about you and whether or not you can read amusing things on the Internet. This is a human being who is in the middle of the black hole of depression. I don't care if she ever blogs again, as long as she gets the help she needs and can find her way back into the world outside the abyss. I've been there (not nearly as bad as her, but enough to see how terrifying it is) and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I don't care that she was one of the funniest people on the net (and she really was). Her being "back" is irrelevant. Her being ALIVE is.


Oh, I think her being 'back' is a good indicator that she's climbing out of the pit, and we can all, those of us who have spent time in the pit, celebrate that.

/kinda hovering at the pit edge these days
2013-05-09 11:01:31 PM
2 votes:

jonny_q: traylor: It's called apathy, not depression.

No, it's called depression. Apathy is a part of it, but only a part. Depression is not just sadness.


My depression was a lot of anger, inverted. Took me a long time to realize the problem because you tend of think of depression as listlessness and instead I was maniacally overscheduling myself, trying to keep on top of things because deep down I felt so out of control.
2013-05-09 11:00:44 PM
2 votes:
Rik01:  It's a bit worse if, like me, you worked in psychiatrics and understand what's happening ...

Interestingly, I find it helps me.  My background is in molecular biology, and whenever I get into a bad episode, I start reading as many journal articles, etc. as possible about my meds, what we know about how bipolar manifests in the brain, and such.  The more technical, the better.  For some reason, intellectualizing it like that makes it easier to keep in mind that the crap running through my brain is not actually coming from me -- it's coming from a malfunction.

Of course, my episodes tend to come on pretty suddenly (within a few days), so it's much easier to tell that my thinking has changed drastically since, say, Tuesday.  This last one came on slowly, though, over months.  To tie into oMaJoJ's question about social anxiety and depression, that was my main symptom this time.  A slowly developing sense that everyone around me secretly thought that I was not worth interacting with.  Absolutely no empirical evidence to support this, and I initially tried to talk myself out of these feelings, but after a while, every single thing that came out of my mouth was immediately followed by the almost unconscious feeling of unworthiness and incompetence.  And after a while of this, you start to believe it might be rooted in reality.

I was developing quite the psychological complex when I finally started noticing physical symptoms that are typical of my type of depression (e.g. waking up ungodly early in the morning and being unable to go back to sleep.  Not anxious, not manic, just physiologically unable to sleep.)  All of a sudden, the pieces fell into place and I realized that all of these unbearable thoughts might, just might, be coming from brain malfunction instead of reality.  My doctor increased my dose of mood stabilizer, and within a week, those thoughts started to simply melt away.

It f*cking blows my mind that a handful of misfiring neurons can create such horrible, intrusive thoughts.  And that's why I want to slap people who complain that "we're too quick to medicate people who say they're depressed."  Therapy can be very useful, especially if you need to unravel years of these kinds of malfunctioning ideas infecting your thinking.  But these thoughts are stemming from biophysical causes, not "issues."  You can learn how to cope with them, but they won't go away until you force your neurons to behave with meds, or as someone said above, your brain cells simply decide to show you some mercy and shape up.
2013-05-09 10:57:47 PM
2 votes:

traylor: It's called apathy, not depression.


No, it's called depression. Apathy is a part of it, but only a part. Depression is not just sadness.
2013-05-09 10:11:05 PM
2 votes:
Interesting piece.

I got the majority of it, but then again, I'm a bipolar depressive. Been there. Done that. Still do. Been in therapy and on meds since around 1997.

I was interested to see she pointed out the sudden loss of empathy for basically everyone and everything. That's a biatch for any family members to understand -- especially if, like me, you were the problem solver. She was right on with the explaining oneself to others, basically to prepare them for when you don't act right or normal or how you used to. After a time, you suddenly realize that either they don't give a shiat or don't want to grasp the concept and you're reduced to just a 'selfish f**k' in their eyes.

I went from a staunch supporter of (lost) causes and a Righter Of Wrongs to either not giving a shiat or feeling that getting all fired up about it would get me nowhere since no one was listening anyhow. Sometimes, I just didn't want the conflict.

Then, your sense of self becomes all foggy. Maybe you weren't the nice guy you thought you were. Especially since your closest friends of years one by one vanished, and you know it was because you pulled into yourself, but you gave them warning about changes to come. After a time, you wonder if anyone cared about you as you did for them.

Then, you decide they didn't.

Then comes the paranoia, the skepticism and you start to realize that the idea of everyone having a bit of good in them is really bullshiat. If they do, then they extend it to everyone else.

Just not you.

I think the episodes of Deep, Black Depression are the hardest. You don't want to do anything. Nothing makes you feel good. Then you get anxious and can't figure out why. You'll lay in bed all day and all night. Maybe you'll eat and maybe you wont. Minor problems suddenly seem mountainous. Writing a check for the rent can become nearly impossible.

Suicide becomes more and more attractive. It's a bit worse if, like me, you worked in psychiatrics and understand what's happening but are powerless to make things better.

See, you're fighting yourself and no one knows how to get to you better than yourself.

BTW. You sexual desires will come and go. Mostly go. One month you can be randy as heck -- but no girl friends come around anymore. The next you couldn't get it up unless you used viagra and a splint, but that's OK, because the women you know take too much effort to please anyhow and they tend to get all irritated when you've burned off the hormones and basically want them to just leave.

They don't grasp the concept of agoraphobia, which you'll develop, meaning you can't stand being around folks for too long. You understand their feelings, but by then, you're real tired of having to understand everything when it seems no one understands anything about you.

You may develop obsessive compulsive disorder, which is a little slice of hell. It can be controlled with effort and medication and mostly go away, but now and then, if stressed, it might slip back a bit.

Think trying to leave your house to keep an appointment, BUT some overwhelming urge makes you check the light switches in the house to make sure everything is off -- again and again and again -- at the same time the sane part of your brain is screaming at you that THEY'RE OFF and you're going to be late, but a sense of impending disaster makes you keep on checking them. By the time you do pry yourself out -- having to check that the door is locked 16 times -- you're going to be late and that anxiety combines with the anxiety of having to check the light switches.

It can make leaving home a bit interesting. Then, you wind up angry and scared at yourself for not being able to stop such a crazy and stupid activity.

Remember the TV series 'Monk'? The Obsessive Compulsive Detective? Well, they almost got it right.
And all of this feeds back into your depression.

Things you used to love to do, well, they aint so much fun anymore. Blue skies turn gray. Even the Goths and Emo kids would run from what goes on in your head.

Now, for me, there used to be periods of mania, where I could be super high and work all day and all night. It was a GREAT feeling -- except various forms of work which required care tended to get screwed up. Like, I might decide to paint my living room in the middle of the night, get it halfway done and decide that cleaning out my cluttered work room is more important.

Several times I had to force myself to NOT cut the grass after midnight, knowing the neighbors would call the cops. In the place I rented at the time, the land lord got a whole bunch of repairs for free when I was manic.

My medication eventually knocked out the majority of the manic episodes. I miss them. They were fun. Now, my life mainly runs like a straight line, with dips into darker depression. No glorious highs.

Still, therapy and medications have helped. Then again, the life situation I'm in hasn't helped. I'm on disability, meaning a very limited income. I had to move back into my parental home because the rents around here made it impossible for me to live alone and do things like eat. Then my elderly Mother became disabled and now, out of all of my siblings, I take care of her 24/7.

She wears diapers. She can't change them. Guess who does? Plus cleans her up and does everything else necessary. That includes arguing with her physicians, handling the major amount of medications she has to take and freakin BEGGING for help from my brothers and sister.

I never was good at begging.

So, depression in any of it's forms is NOT nice. It is curable, if you catch it in time, if you get the proper help, if you have the support of friends and family and you can lower your stress levels.

A lobotomy works, but there are some unfortunate side effects with that. Electro shock therapy has been known to work, but there's a few side effects with that also. Your best chance is with good insurance so you can see a private therapist and afford top notch medications.

Disability sends me to a clinic, where the budget cuts have kept cutting back the therapists and I'm on Medicare part D, which limits the medication I can take.

Cymbalta, the stuff on TV with that depressed woman being followed around by a cartoon depression blob, is hideously expensive. My plan covers 80%. My co-pay with that stuff, per refill, would be $95.00. My co-pay with Zoloft is $8.00.

Suicide still lurks in the back of my head, but I have a job to do. My Mom is 85. I doubt if she'll make 90. When she goes, my job will be done. After she goes, I inherit everything. (She's noticed the reluctance of my siblings to help me out with her.)

It aint much, but it's something. After all, the house is paid for and the taxes on it are low. I'm already on the deed so they'll not jump when I get the place.

Taking care of her is a lot of work. When the 'job' ends, stress may drop but there will be grief, because I love my mom.

For now, I exist. If you have depressed friends, pay attention. That goes for family members also. Don't get your butt all packed up around your shoulders when they stop acting 'normal' and turn apparently uncaring and sulky. Expect rapid mood changes. Expect them to turn into slobs. (Keeping a clean home becomes nearly an insurmountable task. The energy just is no longer there.)

Even dropping in and cutting their lawn or doing their dishes can help a lot. Even if they try and avoid you. Especially if they live alone. Fixing something broken can help, even if you know they can easily fix it themselves -- but they no longer have the energy to do so.

Depression is frustrating for everyone involved. It's not a case of the normal 'blues'. Most depressives will not try and explain to you what's going on because they don't know either.

Ironically, years ago, I used to help treat depressives.

Now, I get to look at it from their eyes.

Apologies for the length.
2013-05-09 08:54:45 PM
2 votes:
This is officially my favorite fark thread EVER.  Well...minus the trolls.  For the first time since I was 21 or so I don't feel completely alone in my worldview and attitude.  SO AWESOME.
2013-05-09 08:20:24 PM
2 votes:
I vividly remember getting my rage back.  All I did when I was depressed was sleep, everything else was just a fuzzy blob of people I had to interact with.  I was trying to sleep one night, I was desperate for sleep, since I'd been taken to a party the night before which turned into me driving people all over the place (airport etc...) and not sleeping for about 35 hours.  My roommates/friends were in the living room playing Mario party and every time i thought I was getting close to falling asleep they would make a noise that snapped me out of it.  I eventually raged out and burst out of my room screaming gibberish and ranting.

The next day I think I cried for about 10 hours straight thinking that I had just ruined my friendships (I had) and my life and just totally hating myself.  I took a day or two for me to fully realize that even though it was pretty negative, I was actually caring enough about something to be angry and upset about it, something I hadn't been able to do for a year and a half.

The thing that got me back on track was, oddly enough, getting a job a few weeks later - I latched onto it as a sense of purpose and a reason to care about something.  I burned myself out at work pretty quickly but it got me started back on the right track.

I have not felt truly depressed (I still get blue sometimes) in years but was always worried that it was right there, waiting to snatch me up again, when I fell in love with someone.  I didn't work out (unrequited) but loving someone was something I didn't even know I was capable of until it happened.

I've been pretty happy the last three years, managed to finish up a degree, get a career, and really start my life back up.  I know that my story is pretty tame compared to what many depression sufferers have gone through, but I kind of feel compelled to tell it.
2013-05-09 08:03:42 PM
2 votes:
I want to say this is the truest thing I've ever read in relation to how I feel in my real life.  I've NEVER been able to articulate it, and this article/cartoon/essay described it EXACTLY.  Word for WORD how I'd imagine the perfect way of saying it.  I'm really, really touched.  Well..as much as I can BE touched.  I suppose I will keep looking for my piece of corn.
2013-05-09 07:51:44 PM
2 votes:
that was a really good article.  much more in touch with depression than i'd expected.

i'd forgotten that so many of these familiar images came from her blog but i love the doodles-cum-artwork.  i think an ALOT tattoo (small and out of the way) would be neat if i was interested in getting an internet meme for a tattoo.
2013-05-09 07:49:01 PM
2 votes:

my alt's alt's alt: radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?

Yes. A family friend lost 7 years of her memory, then got brain cancer and died after ECT (may or may not have been related). I'm wary of its therapeutic value.


Do you get to pick the 7 years?  Because there are at least seven I'd like to wipe out entirely sometimes.  And the risk of brain cancer and *gasp!* death really doesn't mean much to a depressed person.

/They should hire us for all the most dangerous and lucrative jobs.
//Like Fark admin.
2013-05-09 07:23:27 PM
2 votes:

SporkQueen: Damn, I wish I was half as good at putting mental illness into words as she is. The "dead fish" bit is the single best analogy for depression I've ever heard in all the years since I've been diagnosed.


That's how I feel about employment. PTSD. Other health issues, etc.

Everyone thinks they're being helpful, but when I sit down and explain it all to them, they just sit there with the blank stare and go, "Well, good luck, then!"
2013-05-09 07:16:03 PM
2 votes:
Holy shiat. Allie Brosh isn't dead.
2013-05-09 07:14:24 PM
2 votes:
I love you, Allie!!!  <3!!!!!
2013-05-09 07:13:18 PM
2 votes:
The retarded looking dog reminded me that I am familiar with the lady's work.

Glad she found the corn in the bullshiat.
2013-05-09 07:12:03 PM
2 votes:

Ryker's Peninsula: As someone who is clinically depressed, that made things a little better by making me feel a lot worse.


*nods in commiseration*

/worse is a feel, and feels are good.
2013-05-09 07:06:15 PM
2 votes:

mesmer242: That was a really accurate portrayal of depression.


It's not nearly well-known enough that depression really isn't "oh God I'm so sad now" and much closer to what that post describes. Too many people say "hey, I'm not really sad, must not be depression."

(IANAP)
2013-05-09 07:04:16 PM
2 votes:

Dinobot: I noticed Boyfriend is not mentioned at all on this post nor the previous depression one.


Don't get your hopes up I suspect. :-) In a really weird coincidence, just a few days ago I said to myself for the first time in months "hey, what's up with Hyperbole and a Half; I haven't heard anything for a while" and checked up on it just to make sure my RSS reader hadn't missed anything. Turns out that a while after her previous post (though still admittedly a while back), there was a Reddit thread on "where's Allie?" to which she actually responded. She explicitly calls out her boyfriend (fiance, at that point) as being supportive.
2013-05-09 07:04:12 PM
2 votes:

megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).


((Hugs))

I'm really sorry.

My happys are finally starting to last longer than 15 minutes at a time, and my sads are at least for identifiable reasons, but I'm still about 75% numb.

/hope it comes back for you, and plays nice when it does.
2013-05-09 07:00:40 PM
2 votes:

MelGoesOnTour: Great story.

By the way, can someone tell me who "she" is? I guess I missed something.


This is the post that made me a fan of her blog:  http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-ba s ic-concepts.html
2013-05-09 06:59:55 PM
2 votes:
cake.
2013-05-09 06:55:56 PM
2 votes:

Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS


THIS.  Double this for the SSRI withdrawals.

/same goes for taking the damn things to begin with
2013-05-09 06:47:42 PM
2 votes:
Posted this to my Facebook this morning.

So disturbing/funny/accurate.
2013-05-09 05:58:46 PM
2 votes:
Sheesh, she REALLY needs to get laid.
2013-05-09 05:38:30 PM
2 votes:
That was a really good read.  She's talented.
2013-05-09 05:10:36 PM
2 votes:
Yay!
2013-05-10 03:05:25 PM
1 votes:
This post came just in time for me.
2013-05-10 11:45:41 AM
1 votes:
I <3 you all, depression sucks and trying to deal with it alone sucks even more.

A few misc. things I've learned in the ~12 years since my BP diagnosis:

- Don't be afraid to experiment. (Ha.) Meds can be REALLY hit-or-miss, and it's not uncommon to need to try several, alone or in combination, to find something that works AND does't kill you with side effects.

- Take your meds EVERY DAY. Missing even one pill effs you up for at least a few days. Set you cell phone alarm, take them with your coffee, do whatever it takes.

- If you can't afford your pills, ask about patient assistance programs. As a grad student with no prescription insurance, the pharma companies sent me a year's worth of expensive pills (no generics availalbe at the time) FREE because I was broke.

- Embrace the weird. When you're down, and something interests you, chase it like crazy. Whether it's hoarding GIFs of cute kittens, starting knitting projects that go nowhere, writing obscure fanfic, or trying to perfect the world's most perfect hot wing sauce, having something totally random to focus on gives you something to do, even if it's completely non productive, gives you something to do.

- Make lists. If you're obsessing or worrying, write down everything in your head, just to get it out of your brain, and then ignore the list for a while. If you want to go back later and say, oh that's dumb, why am I worrying about that, that's cool... or don't. But getting it out does help, IMO.

- Do the boring stuff. When you're in a funk, you forget to do things like eat lunch and take showers. Chore charts may be for kids, but if you make yourself check off "brushed teeth," "ate something," etc., then you at least cover the basics that will keep things from slipping more.
2013-05-10 11:07:36 AM
1 votes:
My mother was diagnosed bipolar, had 3 diagnosed major depressive episodes, and probably killed herself. (Died overnight. They counted out her sleeping pills, and didn't find enough missing to conclude she'd OD'd, but I don't believe them. She hoarded them. She was also had a 160+ IQ, and probably saved them up as part of a plan.)

Her brother is on meds for depression. My sister is, too.

My maternal grandfather died by suicide.

My paternal grandfather died by suicide following a couple of years of alcohol abuse.

My father's mother's father died by suicide.

There are enough alcoholics and depressives in my extended family to field a baseball team or two.

I've had a half-dozen periods in my life that fit the textbook bipolar description.

So, I've seen it up close.

That said, I think at least 90% of people would be more or less cured of depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder with a regimen of vigorous exercise, a near-paleo diet, proper sleep habits, and avoidance of drugs and excessive alcohol.
2013-05-10 10:27:36 AM
1 votes:

Cato: SmackLT: Happy to see that she's back

fark you. No, seriously, fark YOU. This isn't about you and whether or not you can read amusing things on the Internet. This is a human being who is in the middle of the black hole of depression. I don't care if she ever blogs again, as long as she gets the help she needs and can find her way back into the world outside the abyss. I've been there (not nearly as bad as her, but enough to see how terrifying it is) and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I don't care that she was one of the funniest people on the net (and she really was). Her being "back" is irrelevant. Her being ALIVE is.


HER POSTING ON THE INTERNET IS A GOOD SIGN SHE IS NOT DEAD AND SHE IS A GOOD PERSON AND WE VALUE HER OUTPUT AND YOU ASSUMING shiat IS JUST NUTS BASK IN THE GOODNESS OF MS PAINT COMICS WITH TEXT IN BETWEEN AND SLOW YOUR GODDAMN ROLL
2013-05-10 09:41:25 AM
1 votes:

namegoeshere: miss diminutive: Her first comic about depression and the internal dialog that eventually degenerates into a spiral of self-loathing and apathy was so dead on that I actually had to stop reading it and just hug my knees for a little while.

Can someone link this plz?


Here you go.
Skr
2013-05-10 07:32:32 AM
1 votes:
Always felt able to connect with her experiences a bit. Seems the general moral of this one is that "Things may never get better, but there is a more than zero chance that they might."
2013-05-10 04:02:33 AM
1 votes:
Wow, that comic and this thread are both just simply amazing and I'm glad I took the time to read it all.

Her first comic about depression and the internal dialog that eventually degenerates into a spiral of self-loathing and apathy was so dead on that I actually had to stop reading it and just hug my knees for a little while.

Anyway, as hippy-drum-circleish as this sounds, I just want everyone who is battling or has battled depression to have the chance to experience joy again and truly know that things can get better. If hugs and hot chocolate truly had magical psychological healing powers, I'd spend my life dishing them out to everyone. Sadly, and thankfully, human beings aren't that simple.

/hopelessly optimistic, despite often overwhelming evidence to the contrary
//marshmallows in hot chocolate are the key
2013-05-10 01:43:28 AM
1 votes:
fark. Glad shes alive. Frankly, i thought the last article before this was a suicide note.

she just made me cry, as i realize that although i thought i was through the ahsolute worst of it, im still mostly in the "cant give a fark about anything" or "farking hate everything" phase.

maybe shes the next step before i find the corn.
2013-05-10 01:27:24 AM
1 votes:

susansto-helit: snortimer: Insanely accurate description of depression.  I wonder how many people would give a shiat if she was fat and ugly though.  Yeah, that's what I thought.

I would. I might be bi, but she's not my type. I just think she's a funny farking lady who deserves to have a good life. I became a fan without ever knowing what she looked like.


Cool, and yea I can't see why how she looks or that she's a she maters. Speak the truth and people ear and respond to that.
2013-05-10 01:01:20 AM
1 votes:

daveUSMC: This piece really, REALLY hit home. Someone very close to me has hit almost every single phase she described, on top of me having my own battles since coming back from AFG. I just hope I don't continue down this path because I need to be there to help now.

/Rooting for her, for the person in my life, and for me.


Well remember the best thing you can do for her is to make sure you stay healthy, then just be supportive. Yea, I'm guessing you went through a lot and you do and should talk about that stuff to someone, I mean I can't imagine what that must have been like over there and adjusting to being back. Do take care of your self first and foremost. As I'm sure you know you be a help to anyone if you don't. I understand there is a stigma about seeking help in the military, if that's the case go to someone in private practice.

/Best wishes
2013-05-10 01:01:15 AM
1 votes:

ultraholland: No, it is; you just find more creative ways to lie to yourself.


Or, you just pay to be drugged back into a state of blissful unawareness.
2013-05-10 12:55:00 AM
1 votes:
No, it is; you just find more creative ways to lie to yourself.
2013-05-09 11:34:41 PM
1 votes:
I can only imagine how many people are in this thread talking about the depressions they're going through or have been through and probably, if they're like I was, how scared they are about possibly going through another one.

There have been a ton of these threads on Fark over the many years I've been hanging around the joint, and I've participated in many of them, often looking for help.  I can't read this whole thread, because I'd want to say to everyone currently suffering, individually, some sort of specific kind of "hey, I've never been exactly where you are, but I've been nearby! C'mon, man! If I can do it, you can too!". But I won't, because that always sounds false when you're on the receiving end of it.

I didn't have a piece of corn, more like an escalating series of excruciating and/or joyous head slaps as I took the long, slow rebound from bottom.  Some training in mindfulness was an essential piece.

If someone told me even two years ago how much joy I'd get from the simplest things these days, I'd never have believed it.  It took a really long time to get here, and it has been really hard.  Off the top of my head it was 6 therapists/psychiatrists before I found this one, who was the first with whom I was like: "okay, this might work".  And that was a slim light in very dark days, believe me.

And here I am.  Walking home from the streetcar today, I had a spring in my step because work this week has been  busy and interesting, and I'm really looking forward to seeing that one woman this weekend, and those blooming cherry trees I just passed smelled fantastic and is that a freshly-opened lilac leaning over the sidewalk? Ima take a snootfull! Ahhhhhh! So good.  So, so good.

Trust me when I say - I have never been where you are.  No one but you ever has been.  But I've been in the neighborhood. If you're at or near bottom, you may doubt you'll feel anything ever again, let alone joy.  I can't say you will, but you might.  I hope that's good enough.

/ it's hard
// no, really, it's really hard
/// while you're going through it, don't let anyone tell you otherwise
// worth it
/ so, so worth it
2013-05-09 11:29:31 PM
1 votes:

J. Frank Parnell: Should have embraced buddhism or some other philosophy when she was having the existential breakdown about everything being pointless. There's absolutely nothing wrong with thinking that, and it can lead to a new, more honest, way to be happy. Instead it seems her road to happiness is to continue trying to be happy about the meaningless and superficial crap she became disillusioned with.

/"Products and TV shows give my life meaning!"


As a Buddhist and a Clinical Depressive I am here to say that you are mistaken about both. The emotionlessness/numbness/mindlessness of depression is the exact opposite of the mindfullness of good Buddhist practice. I think Buddhism can indeed help with depression (meds are important in my experience but just a start) by leading oneself from a state where nothing matters and you notice none of your surroundings to one where you work towards awareness of your inner and outer environment.

\glad Allie is still around
2013-05-09 11:24:04 PM
1 votes:
I know I'm late to the thread, but wow. I have been dealing with debilitating depression and just started taking  an antidepressant, which is supposed to get worse before it gets better. Today, all I've done (from bed) is cry, stare at the wall, and look at websites.

/Not really getting a kick
//cause I can't feel much of anything
///rimshot
2013-05-09 11:19:04 PM
1 votes:

Cato: SmackLT: Happy to see that she's back

fark you. No, seriously, fark YOU. This isn't about you and whether or not you can read amusing things on the Internet. This is a human being who is in the middle of the black hole of depression. I don't care if she ever blogs again, as long as she gets the help she needs and can find her way back into the world outside the abyss. I've been there (not nearly as bad as her, but enough to see how terrifying it is) and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I don't care that she was one of the funniest people on the net (and she really was). Her being "back" is irrelevant. Her being ALIVE is.


I think they kinda meant both at the same time. Either way, I'm not sure why it warrants a double Fark you.
2013-05-09 11:13:50 PM
1 votes:

Cato: SmackLT: Happy to see that she's back

fark you. No, seriously, fark YOU. This isn't about you and whether or not you can read amusing things on the Internet. This is a human being who is in the middle of the black hole of depression. I don't care if she ever blogs again, as long as she gets the help she needs and can find her way back into the world outside the abyss. I've been there (not nearly as bad as her, but enough to see how terrifying it is) and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I don't care that she was one of the funniest people on the net (and she really was). Her being "back" is irrelevant. Her being ALIVE is.


Um cant we be happy that she is back AND alive? I mean - she seems to be happy she is back.... You might want to adjust your rage meter.
2013-05-09 11:13:19 PM
1 votes:

buckler: I've been going through a major depression for months now. I'm starting therapy next week because I've found myself eyeballing rope at the store, and determined an anchor point on my back porch where neighborhood children won't see. Told the neighbor that if she found a note on her door asking her to call police and paramedics, she'd know why. My place is a wreck because I can't work up the motivation to do housework, and even personal hygiene is a chore. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.


Glad you're going to see someone ( :
2013-05-09 11:04:16 PM
1 votes:
Very good
2013-05-09 11:03:38 PM
1 votes:

SnakeLee: Wow being depressed sounds shiatty


The best metaphor I've ever seen for it (before seeing TFA) was "wearing shiat-colored glasses".
2013-05-09 10:59:12 PM
1 votes:
I'm a schizoid personality type so I got a kick out of that article.

Low-level, high-functioning depressive since the age of 13. You just get used to it after a while and it becomes part of your personality. Antidepressants suck. The cure was worse than the disease.
2013-05-09 10:57:46 PM
1 votes:

oMaJoJ: Ambivalence: oMaJoJ: Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.

I have this, and anxiety-based disorders (social anxiety, agoraphobia, OCD, hoarding, etc) are all about desensitizing yourself to the anxiety.  It's a lot like being a duck in a freezing pond. The more you swim and the more you push through your anxiety, the bigger your world is.  But if you give up and avoid what makes you anxious, your entire world freezes around you until you're almost literally stuck in a little patch frozen by fear.  It's a constant struggle and a tough way to live. I haven't tried anti-anxiety medication as my condition is mild enough that I'm still functional, but it comes up at the oddest times.  I have a hard time meeting people for the first time.  Once I meet them, I'm fine. But while they're an "unknown quantity", I'm scared to put myself out there.  I just put on my best smile (my coping mechanism of choice) and charge ahead...most of the time.

I'm actually trying something like this. There was this weekly event recently at the Nintendo Store. I ended up talking to this guy and joining his group but I feel so awkward and out of place there.


I recently joined a group of tech geeks to build a project for the Red Bull Challenge. It was very hard to put my self out there and be social. Joining a group of geeks helped a lot. They're just as weird and awkward as I am and we have stuff in common to talk about and do. I have trouble with just socializing but if there's an activity I'm fine, so joining a hackers collective was a good fit.
2013-05-09 10:55:56 PM
1 votes:

MelGoesOnTour: Great story.

By the way, can someone tell me who "she" is? I guess I missed something.


This blog is funny and has unique, well-written prose. It spawned the "clean all the things!" meme that was popular here on Fark and a whole bunch of other places. The blog's been dead for over a year, so the fact that she's alive and making a new post is newsworthy enough to at least get attention from Farkers. I also saw this on Reddit today and the reaction was the same there. Also that last post was the "clean all the things" post, so I bet there's a lot of people like me who went, saw what the deal was, and then never saw her again, so we all kinda wondered.

Also, this blog entry and the one before it are incredibly well-written descriptions of depression from a very self-aware person. I really like the "dead fish" analogy. It perfectly describes how non-depressed people try to deal with depressed people. Her personality, shown through her frustration without sounding biatchy, is perfect. That's really how I wish I could explain those feelings to people. I'm not currently depressed or anything, but I understood pretty much every word of that.

The difference for me was that my depression has never been that severe or lasted that long. Any time I've ever felt that overwhelming "nothing" she describes, I've always had the reassurance that it's temporary because I know myself well enough to know the weird cycles I've been through.
2013-05-09 10:53:33 PM
1 votes:
I like the dead fish part. That's how I used to see people interact with each other, but as you get older it kind of grows on you and It all becomes a blur. After awhile you play the same game as them and you become a happy zombie whether you want to or not.  Hows your day? Nice weather we're having. Did you see the game last night? Makes you feel good inside. The "life is meaningless and has no point" still matters .but it doesn't make you depressed like it did. You begin to accept it, forget it and laugh at it. You enjoy the lie.

But seeing others think like this makes me feel really good.

 //hobbies and alcohol help
2013-05-09 10:52:28 PM
1 votes:

Ambivalence: oMaJoJ: Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.

I have this, and anxiety-based disorders (social anxiety, agoraphobia, OCD, hoarding, etc) are all about desensitizing yourself to the anxiety.  It's a lot like being a duck in a freezing pond. The more you swim and the more you push through your anxiety, the bigger your world is.  But if you give up and avoid what makes you anxious, your entire world freezes around you until you're almost literally stuck in a little patch frozen by fear.  It's a constant struggle and a tough way to live. I haven't tried anti-anxiety medication as my condition is mild enough that I'm still functional, but it comes up at the oddest times.  I have a hard time meeting people for the first time.  Once I meet them, I'm fine. But while they're an "unknown quantity", I'm scared to put myself out there.  I just put on my best smile (my coping mechanism of choice) and charge ahead...most of the time.


I'm actually trying something like this. There was this weekly event recently at the Nintendo Store. I ended up talking to this guy and joining his group but I feel so awkward and out of place there.
2013-05-09 10:51:07 PM
1 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: I was going to ask something similar, because I've always been anxious and a little OCD (have to close cupboards in the right order, etc), but it wasn't until I had kids and got PPD that it turned into full-blown depression. I'm now noticing how one of my kids will run around perfectly happy and outgoing, and the other one, who's not yet two years old, has to stack things just so, and touch every doorknob in his room before bed, and I think, "oh no kiddo, you might have a rough road ahead."


I really wouldn't worry about it. OCD is essentially a problem with magical thinking, which only really becomes a problem when it carries over into adult life, and the rituals becomes increasingly elaborate to the point of interfering with day to day functioning...

All small children are magical thinkers. Minus any other troublesome quirks, I would tend to regard "OCD" behavior in a 2 year old as a sign of intellect/curiosity. It's just another way of expressing interest in learning how to manipulate reality. (They are just still at the age where reality is made up of all sorts of unseen forces and causes that they'll lose touch with when they get older.)
2013-05-09 10:47:06 PM
1 votes:

LDM90: megarian: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

Damn dude. Why have sex if not for pleasure?

Because I like relationships and that is a healthy part of it. I like sex once it is happening but initiating it is something that is beyond be simply because is never occur to me. I like pleasing the other person. I don't get anything out of umm...reciprocation. Well, I can but it takes like, a half an hour and an act of Congress.

You sound just like my wife. Honestly it drives me nuts. I mean it's nice that she likes it while its happening but how can someone just NEVER think of it? I don't get it. My greatest wish is for an unsolicited BJ. Just one.


Ugh... the dreaded 'chore head'...
2013-05-09 10:36:32 PM
1 votes:

God Is My Co-Pirate: Ambivalence: oMaJoJ: Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.

I have this, and anxiety-based disorders (social anxiety, agoraphobia, OCD, hoarding, etc) are all about desensitizing yourself to the anxiety.  It's a lot like being a duck in a freezing pond. The more you swim and the more you push through your anxiety, the bigger your world is.  But if you give up and avoid what makes you anxious, your entire world freezes around you until you're almost literally stuck in a little patch frozen by fear.  It's a constant struggle and a tough way to live. I haven't tried anti-anxiety medication as my condition is mild enough that I'm still functional, but it comes up at the oddest times.  I have a hard time meeting people for the first time.  Once I meet them, I'm fine. But while they're an "unknown quantity", I'm scared to put myself out there.  I just put on my best smile (my coping mechanism of choice) and charge ahead...most of the time.

I was going to ask something similar, because I've always been anxious and a little OCD (have to close cupboards in the right order, etc), but it wasn't until I had kids and got PPD that it turned into full-blown depression. I'm now noticing how one of my kids will run around perfectly happy and outgoing, and the other one, who's not yet two years old, has to stack things just so, and touch every doorknob in his room before bed, and I think, "oh no kiddo, you might h ...


Put a stop to that now, I have -had you always have whatever OCD. I would have to tap things or open close or fluff the pillow as many times as whatever number popped into my head and at 13 I realized this was getting out of control so I allowed myself to do it for one more week then a week of half of whatever number popped into my head then the following week only every other time it popped into my head then every other day etc.. It worked sounds nuts but so was what I was doing. Good luck it is best to nip it early!
2013-05-09 10:06:26 PM
1 votes:
I have never seen this woman's work before. I am very impressed, she has open wounds and has the courage to show them. She also has a clear, insightful way to communicate her feelings.

Megarian--Some credit to you too for some very open posts.
A bit of my experience: I had a girl friend who could not get off except with a vibrator. She liked pleasing me but for whatever reason what I did was not intense enough. We added in the vibrator, that worked, she said it made it much more intense than normal for her. [Had to get a quieter version though for my benefit, I felt like I was in bed with a hive of bees.] Might be good for you to find a lover you can relate your problems to and is open to some less conventional solutions.
2013-05-09 09:52:46 PM
1 votes:
I have never heard of this blog or this lady before today but apparently she's in my head because http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-b e -adult.html is my life.
2013-05-09 09:52:16 PM
1 votes:
Glad she's back. I feel like I really understand the comic and that I've gone through some of this. My thing is is that I can't really do "genuine happy" (if that makes any sense) around other people. It's really hard to get out of bed most days but if I'm home I'm fine. I'm mostly a solitary person and I can laugh and be kinda happy by myself. That's what makes me feel like maybe I'm not all that depressed. When I have to get up to go to work,I try to work myself up and get mad. That gets me through the day, it's like my edge. If I don't and don't really feel (again, hard to explain), it's like little shiat can just destroy me and I wind up having breakdowns.

Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.

I can't talk to anybody. I don't want to talk to anybody. It's like people are just invading my personal space no matter how much I'm willing to defer to them to just leave me be.

Sorry just thought this was a appropriate spot to rant a bit. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.
2013-05-09 09:45:01 PM
1 votes:
I've dealt with depression for a significant portion of all of my adult life, and I've found that alcohol, a sense of humor, and unbridled hatred for everyone and everything can make life worthwhile.
2013-05-09 09:31:21 PM
1 votes:

MarkEC: The emotionless issues that everyone is  talking about is quite frankly something that has been with me for my whole life. I have never cried over someone dying, and have always had the thought she has on her blog "uh oh...sad face sad face". I've sometimes thought that I was just a cold-hearted bastard.


Cheer up. You're probably just a sociopath.
2013-05-09 09:31:06 PM
1 votes:
I am old enough to remember my first color tv (monsterous thing in a wooden cabinet that sat right on the floor) and how FREAKIN' AWESOME it was to watch shows in color. Then the set got old, and the color tube started to go. The TV would blink from color back to black and white. When this first happened, you could give it a little whack or stomp on the floor in front of it and get the color back on. The older it got, though, the harder you had to whack it or stomp to get the color back on again. Before it died, we were picking up the heavy cube hassock and throwing it down in front of the set as hard as we could. Sometimes that worked and sometimes it didn't.

It was still the same shows. But without the color, it wasn't the same experience. All the shows were meh. Like going through the motions. Why bother.

That's been it for me. Black and white living. Not severe enough for a corn moment, thank FSM, but enough so that I don't call my friends or family if I can possibly avoid it because I don't want them to notice that I am currently in black and white and have absolutelty nothing to contribute to their world of color and am too tired to fake it so that they won't notice how black and white and boring and dumb and dull I am and stop wanting to have anything to do with me which is why I can't have anything to do with them but they have pretty much stopped calling me so I guess they noticed anyway.

Other than that, I'm good.
2013-05-09 09:13:36 PM
1 votes:
Wow being depressed sounds shiatty
2013-05-09 09:09:03 PM
1 votes:
dat biatch sound cray
2013-05-09 09:03:07 PM
1 votes:

cherryl taggart: I think I'm seeing that in my house right now.  It worries me that I don't know how to help the injured parties, and I don't want to make it worse, especially after reading her reactions to well meaning idiots.

I'm scared.


Allie's right on target with how NOT to interact with someone who's suffering from severe depression.  Having been on both sides of this (my mom, who was about one step away from catatonic for years, and myself, who thankfully was never *quite* that bad), I'll add my two cents of advice.  For both me and my mom, often the most helpful thing when we were having a really bad day was just to have someone sit with us.  You don't have to deliberately make conversation, or try to distract the person, or talk through "issues" or anything like that.  Just watching a movie/TV with us, surfing the internet together, any kind of light interaction like that was immensely comforting at some deep primal level.  Luckily, my dad and my husband both kind of do this instinctively.  I didn't - I couldn't figure out how to relate to my mom during her bad periods, and it wasn't until I came down with the same thing that I really understood how to help her.  Admittedly, since my mom and I both have bipolar II, our bad days tend to be more unexplainable crying jags and suicidal thoughts, so it may be a little different from what you're seeing in your family member.  But I figured I'd share my coping strategy just in case.

As long as I'm on an anecdote roll, I can add my mom's experience to radarlove's question about ECT.  After going through every antidepressant, antipsychotic, and mood stabilizer in the book (and oodles of combinations of them), my mom was still essentially non-functional, so they sent her in for a series of ECT treatments.  They seemed to work pretty well on her.  It certainly didn't cure her, and she's still on a cocktail of about six meds, but the ECT did seem to provide kind of a kick-start to push her brain into a space where the meds could start to work.  She did have memory loss, though.  Some of it was probably a blessing (she says she doesn't really remember her worst periods), some of it weirdly sporadic (we're still finding random events from the past that she doesn't recall), and some of it really obnoxious (she would go out to the same grocery store she's gone to for 25 years and not remember where the house was located so she could get home).  YMMV, of course, but her experience seems to be fairly common.
2013-05-09 08:41:58 PM
1 votes:
It sucks to be clinically depressed, and it sucks to be AROUND someone who's clinically depressed. Things don't make sense like they're supposed to, normal interactions don't have the expected effects, and in a certain way, depression is contagious, which makes it especially difficult on the support network, when they actually can't be around a person that's depressed for long periods of time.

A lot of the strip hit a bit close to home for me. Glad that she's still around, though.
2013-05-09 08:31:24 PM
1 votes:

radarlove: mesmer242: radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?

I know someone who had the magnet thing done and it seems to have helped. They still have other issues, but the depressive component (not enjoying doing anything, withdrawing, etc.) seems to be gone.

I've been really intrigued ever since I saw Alan Alda do it for Scientific American.  I keep looking on the web to see if there are any clinical trials I can sign up for, but no luck yet.  *sigh*  Someday!

/I's po' folk, but I's can dream, yessir!


http://www.clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT01829165?term=rtms&recr=Op en &cond=%22Depression%22&rank=3
http://www.clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT01768052?term=rtms&recr=Op en &cond=%22Depression%22&rank=5
http://www.clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT01431001?term=rtms&recr=Op en &cond=%22Depression%22&rank=7
2013-05-09 08:30:44 PM
1 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: caddisfly: Bathia_Mapes: Yay!

Yippee!  I've been checking her page occasionally for the past year.  The utter lack of updates was making ME depressed.  Allie is 10 kinds of awesome.

She is indeed. And I've been quite concerned about her after her last appearance and subsequent long disappearance.


Thanks!!!  FYI, I've been solely a Liter for about a decade because I've always been afraid of how much time I'm capable of devoting to Fark.  I already spend about 2-3 hours every day reading linked articles and comments (and I don't even own Photoshop).  I am so very frightened at what the next month holds in store for my already waning self-employment discipline!
2013-05-09 08:18:39 PM
1 votes:

What_do_you_want_now: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Have any of you sad sacks tried manning (or womanning) up and dealing with things? Depression is like adhd, namely that its not a real thing.

10/10

You will do well with this derp, and catch many a fish. You, sir/madam, are the Westboro Baptist Church of trolls!


Really?  I thought that it was ridiculously hamfisted and unrealistic.
2013-05-09 08:04:44 PM
1 votes:

MarkEC: Quantum Apostrophe: [www.tandyonline.co.uk image 492x492]

What does the most common NPN transistor in the world have to do with this thread?


I'm guessing it's a bipolar transistor?
2013-05-09 08:04:18 PM
1 votes:

radarlove: patchvonbraun: Oh my dear god, her description of depression resonated loud and, well, depressingly.

I'm really glad to see that I'm not the only person that actually felt more depressed after reading that, lol.


I started looking at it and caught the jist and decided I'd better stop reading. At least for right now.
/Hope this work out okay for ya..
2013-05-09 08:03:32 PM
1 votes:
I'm glad to see Allie back. Whenever I need to smile at something, her amusing posts tickle my funny bone. Been struggling with clinical depression for a pretty long time myself. Mine is incredibly frustrating to me because it's just bad enough to cripple me sometimes and yet, it was too easy to justify not getting help. Yeah, yeah, cool story bro, etc.

Tricyclics and SSRIs SUCK.

/on Wellbutrin
//and Adderall
///Ativan for panic attacks
////slashies!
2013-05-09 08:00:44 PM
1 votes:

CynicalLA: megarian: I don't want so sound like something I'm not. I like things about sex. I have never had an orgasm and that's not my focus. I like being physical and look at it as a sport...as in I want to make the other person have a really REALLY good time. So that's the goal and I am willing to work for it. But as far as me getting off? Not going to happen. I can do it manually but it takes a while and is not worth the effort. I like sex, though. I get a lot of information and mental pleasure through sex. I like aerobic activity.

You need to leave Detroit.


I don't mind Detroit. Maybe it's symptomatic?
2013-05-09 07:59:29 PM
1 votes:

radarlove: megarian: radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?

I do. I am an intern, though. What do you want to know?

Mainly, how effective is it in someone who has run the gamut of SSRIs and Tricyclics and such but for whom those only exacerbated the depression?  Also, how difficult is it to find someone qualified and reliable to do it, and can a fella like me make you, the taxpayer, foot the bill?


I wish I had a better answer:

It completely depends. As an intern, I see three things: a month or so before, the day of, and every week after until discharge. Most have wonderful results...more with the electromagnetic response than the ECT. The ECT are usually more of an overdose-of-barbiturate effect. The magnetic responses are delayed but they seems to be more long term. The ETCs are usually pretty far-gone...I would say half are catatonic before treatment. But I have seen 10 or so (out of the 30 or 40 ECTs that I have seen) make some serious, remarkable recovery. 7 that I know personally are doing very well and are actually a productive person now. The 'magnets have an even better outcome. This is not scientific, this is just what I have see. The 'magnets are doing well, but insurance is sort of a factor here. Out of the ~20 I have seen, 9 of them are extremely responsive, and 7 of them are out of inpatient care for the last 6 months when they usually go back for mental treatment within the next 2 months if discharge. The ECTs come back within a year or so. Less severe, but it happens.
2013-05-09 07:57:41 PM
1 votes:
Depression - it's peaceful.

/ at least there's that
// but yeah, not much else
2013-05-09 07:56:34 PM
1 votes:

megarian: I don't want so sound like something I'm not. I like things about sex. I have never had an orgasm and that's not my focus. I like being physical and look at it as a sport...as in I want to make the other person have a really REALLY good time. So that's the goal and I am willing to work for it. But as far as me getting off? Not going to happen. I can do it manually but it takes a while and is not worth the effort. I like sex, though. I get a lot of information and mental pleasure through sex. I like aerobic activity.


You need to leave Detroit.
2013-05-09 07:51:38 PM
1 votes:

patchvonbraun: Oh my dear god, her description of depression resonated loud and, well, depressingly.


I'm really glad to see that I'm not the only person that actually felt more depressed after reading that, lol.
2013-05-09 07:49:24 PM
1 votes:

cherryl taggart: I think I'm seeing that in my house right now.  It worries me that I don't know how to help the injured parties, and I don't want to make it worse, especially after reading her reactions to well meaning idiots.

I'm scared.


I'm seeing that in me right now.

/having a little mini-crisis atm. You're telling me I have PTSD AND clinical depression? WTF???
//and that thought made me thinking of grabbing a gun. . . hmm. . .
2013-05-09 07:48:27 PM
1 votes:
I'm so glad that Allie is back.  (((Hyperbole-and-a-half-girl)))

Oh my dear god, her description of depression resonated loud and, well, depressingly.

/chronic depression since highschool.  Now 50.  SSRIs help, having loving friends helps.
2013-05-09 07:46:42 PM
1 votes:

cherryl taggart: I think I'm seeing that in my house right now.  It worries me that I don't know how to help the injured parties, and I don't want to make it worse, especially after reading her reactions to well meaning idiots.

I'm scared.


Well, it's a scary thing.  You can't make anyone get better, or even make them want to get better. They have to 1) notice that it's a problem and 2) work really, really hard every day to make it better.

You might be able to help with 1.  2 is ultimately up to them, (although you can provide financial and emotional support).

I think the best way to deal with a depressed person is the way as with anyone who is sick.  Be real.  Don't pretend that they're not sick, or pretend they're not hurting.  The fish are dead.  That sucks.  Be there with them while it sucks.  Show them you care about them anyway.
2013-05-09 07:45:06 PM
1 votes:
I had depression.  Still have a partial bottle of Pristiq sitting here. I didn't want to kill myself though, I wanted to kill everyone else. Lost a years and a half of my life hiding in the house. It sucks balls.
2013-05-09 07:44:20 PM
1 votes:

radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?


Yes. A family friend lost 7 years of her memory, then got brain cancer and died after ECT (may or may not have been related). I'm wary of its therapeutic value.
2013-05-09 07:43:45 PM
1 votes:
sometimes I think she's me.

could just be the fark handle, though.
2013-05-09 07:42:04 PM
1 votes:
This was purely awesome to read.
Glad she's back - still waiting for the book though!
2013-05-09 07:42:02 PM
1 votes:

radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?


I do. I am an intern, though. What do you want to know?
2013-05-09 07:41:45 PM
1 votes:
I think I'm seeing that in my house right now.  It worries me that I don't know how to help the injured parties, and I don't want to make it worse, especially after reading her reactions to well meaning idiots.

I'm scared.
2013-05-09 07:41:00 PM
1 votes:
I wasn't a close follower of H&aH, but the ones I had read I really enjoyed.  Glad to hear that she's working her way out of the big D.  (No, not "Detroit", though that would also be braggable.)

The feeling that you wish nobody cared about you so you could just stop existing is pretty goddamn rough.
2013-05-09 07:39:54 PM
1 votes:

JRoo: Emotions are just roadblocks on the path to higher intelligence.


Sounds like the credo of a psychopath.
2013-05-09 07:39:48 PM
1 votes:

caddisfly: Bathia_Mapes: Yay!

Yippee!  I've been checking her page occasionally for the past year.  The utter lack of updates was making ME depressed.  Allie is 10 kinds of awesome.


She is indeed. And I've been quite concerned about her after her last appearance and subsequent long disappearance.
2013-05-09 07:33:51 PM
1 votes:

AverageAmericanGuy: I'm surprised at how modern medicine has missed what is so clear to the WebMDs here in this thread. Namely, that depression can be fixed by a good deep dicking.

Fark never ceases to amaze me.


i177.photobucket.com
2013-05-09 07:31:31 PM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-05-09 07:27:50 PM
1 votes:

CruJones: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

So if not for pleasure, for.... cash?

/I couldn't get into this, I didn't even make it to the depression part
//WTF are those little doodles in the headline?


I couldn't make a Unicode rainbow so I settled for a heart...or close-ish to one. Allie deserves hearts. This post is very poignant and as shown by the thread a lot of people identify closely with it.
2013-05-09 07:24:48 PM
1 votes:

megarian: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

Damn dude. Why have sex if not for pleasure?

Because I like relationships and that is a healthy part of it. I like sex once it is happening but initiating it is something that is beyond be simply because is never occur to me. I like pleasing the other person. I don't get anything out of umm...reciprocation. Well, I can but it takes like, a half an hour and an act of Congress.


Woah. *....beyond me simply because it never occurred to me.
2013-05-09 07:19:48 PM
1 votes:
Damn, I wish I was half as good at putting mental illness into words as she is. The "dead fish" bit is the single best analogy for depression I've ever heard in all the years since I've been diagnosed.
2013-05-09 07:18:49 PM
1 votes:
I went through just what she's going through back when I was in my late teens to early 20's. I always tried to explain it to people as just feeling dead inside. You don't feel any emotions, be they positive or negative. Allie described it really well.

I'm completely back to normal now, though I can still remember that deadness quite clearly (I wish I didn't). I hope she finds normal again soon. She's a funny lady.
2013-05-09 07:17:56 PM
1 votes:
The art work is existentially awesome!
2013-05-09 07:17:53 PM
1 votes:
I missed her alot.

24.media.tumblr.com
2013-05-09 07:14:51 PM
1 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

Damn dude. Why have sex if not for pleasure?


To make your partner happy.

I haven't wanted sex...well...since I started having it at 17, really.  Not a fan.  Ended up having a LOT of shallow sex with risky partners just to try to figure out what the big deal was.  Broke some hearts along the way, and they deserved better.  All any of that did was sour my view of sex further and drive me deeper into that darkness.  Still haven't figured out why you humans dig on sex so much.

Celibate.  Married.  You're damn right my wife ain't happy with that arrangement.  So you try to take care of your partner, when you can, but man sometimes the mere thought of sex is beyond bile-inducing, it's borderline rage-inducing.  And the guilt you feel for feeling that way to begin with just makes you feel worse.
2013-05-09 07:14:08 PM
1 votes:
One part of me laughed my butt off. The other part of me is scared shiatless.

/hits wayyyyy too close to home right now. . .
2013-05-09 07:12:45 PM
1 votes:
I wondered where she had gone.  Nice to have her back.
2013-05-09 07:11:42 PM
1 votes:

megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).


Emotions are just roadblocks on the path to higher intelligence.

i21.photobucket.com
2013-05-09 07:06:42 PM
1 votes:
Not a fan personally, but anything that may help people understand depression better gets my admittedly-valueless approval.
2013-05-09 07:05:15 PM
1 votes:
For me it was porn not corn but cool.
2013-05-09 07:03:59 PM
1 votes:
depression is a fark.
2013-05-09 07:01:52 PM
1 votes:

ialdabaoth: This is... remarkably similar to my own life right now, except that the "fine, I'll go to a doctor if you stop making that noise" phase sort of looped into "I've gone to 10 doctors, but I can't pay for any of the medication I'm supposed to be perscribed and I can't pay for therapy, so now what?"

Of course, the fact that repeated doctor visits didn't help is just proof that I wasn't really trying, which is okay, because obviously if I'm not trying I don't want to get better and I deserve whatever happens to me.


Hey, been there, probably headed back again soon. I can feel the lack of connection to other people building inside me like a bad pimple inside my nose, just out of reach and vaugely uncomfortable. If you want to talk to someone about it I think EIP. Go ahead and post on here if it isn't we could chat somehow.
2013-05-09 06:59:59 PM
1 votes:

Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS


My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).
2013-05-09 06:58:47 PM
1 votes:
I approve of this comic. Glad she's doing better.
2013-05-09 06:57:40 PM
1 votes:

radarlove: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

THIS.  Double this for the SSRI withdrawals.

/same goes for taking the damn things to begin with


Yes. And yes.

//16 months off...and still waiting for my sex drive to come back.
2013-05-09 06:53:42 PM
1 votes:
Seeing a new Hyperbole and a Half post made my day
2013-05-09 06:50:54 PM
1 votes:
I was literally just thinking about her, and worrying if she was ok before I refreshed Fark just now.

Today is officially a good day.
2013-05-09 06:48:51 PM
1 votes:
Wow, where was that single piece of corn when the variety of pills I was prescribed really made me lose my mind and attempt suicide (or worse) on six separate occasions?
2013-05-09 06:48:45 PM
1 votes:

Elandriel: Woo! My first green. :D

This is one of her heavier pieces but most of her other posts are absolutely hilarious. Much advised.

Honestly I don't care if she's "back" or not, just that she is okay. She disappeared fairly abruptly when she became depressed.


Thank you.
2013-05-09 06:47:24 PM
1 votes:
I'd forgotten how heavy her writing could be.

I'm glad she's alive, and I hope she finds a way through. She's got a gift with words I'd rather see used for good.
2013-05-09 06:46:52 PM
1 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: Yay!


Yippee!  I've been checking her page occasionally for the past year.  The utter lack of updates was making ME depressed.  Allie is 10 kinds of awesome.
2013-05-09 06:25:12 PM
1 votes:

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Who is this person? A Farker? Would explain the unjustified comments praising her work


Yeah I wanted to put it down but I thought she was a Fark Goddess or something and I would be flamed.
But yeah, after reading it (well the most I could read before I hit the eject button) I was just sort of like this:
img.photobucket.com
2013-05-09 06:16:24 PM
1 votes:
Who is this person? A Farker? Would explain the unjustified comments praising her work
2013-05-09 05:53:20 PM
1 votes:
It's like a cartoon by The Oatmeal, but more poorly drawn. All the enjoyability, not as much of the graphic design background. Good for her.
2013-05-09 05:34:28 PM
1 votes:
... parp?
2013-05-09 05:09:50 PM
1 votes:

SmackLT: Happy to see that she's back


Yup.
 
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