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(Hyperbole and a Half)   ಌ Maybe everything isn't hopeless bullshiat ಌ   (hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com ) divider line 467
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17655 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2013 at 6:37 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-10 03:30:20 PM  

Arumat: Bandito King: Ohhhhhh! No, you misunderstand. I'm not threatened by them, I find them irritating. See, my farked up nervous system gives me the 'rage' and it's exacerbated by mopey little shiats like this. So sorry I can't be bothered to filter it like I do when I'm out in the world but eh, it's fark. Plus, you know, I couldn't give less of a damn about your feelings.

Most people are expected to cope. Depressed people just give up and let themselves be overwhelmed by the monumental task of getting out of bed. You want me to empathize with that? I'd rather euthanize them. So it's best for my sanity and theirs if they just keep it to themselves like an... what's the word... oh, adult. You don't matter. Your feelings don't matter. Get over it or kill yourself. But for chrissakes, Shut. The. fark. Up. About it.

So...what you're really trying to say is you're not a coward, you're just a raging sociopathic asshat?


Not all the time. It comes and goes.
 
2013-05-10 04:23:32 PM  
I see 3 types of people posting here:
1) got it (probably been depressed before or still)
2) a bit of insight into something which they never have understood before
3) assholes

one of the things which I experienced while going through my depression was that it became easier with sharing and easier to share it.
I dont care that people knew that I was depressed and my friends which I can reach who are depressed, well, everyone is happier.
I have also learned to avoid and ignore those that dont have enough empathy to even admit that they dont get it. They are not worth a second of time.

"Depressed people just give up and let themselves be overwhelmed by the monumental task of getting out of bed. "
YAY another troll for the ignore list. Forever.
 
2013-05-10 04:28:44 PM  

gglibertine: Peki: When I describe to people my life's story, eventually their eyes glaze over because they simply can't accept that a human being who lives in the United States could have gone through that much shiat. Then I start pulling newspaper articles and the like, and then the horror and fear just makes them run away.

Yep, I can relate. My life story makes therapists cry. I sometimes forget not to tell stories like the one where my parents had to panel the entire downstairs because they couldn't paint over the huge bloody handprints (which is really a pretty funny story from my POV). At least my family never made the papers, though, so that's good, I guess.


ok
1) that is pretty funny
2) and yah, some stories you just have to laugh at, or you would NEVER STOP crying

csb -triggery
I rescued a friend. Any part of her story would make you weep. As she told me more and more of the hell that her life had been, I kept asking how. How had she survived at all? Physical handicaps are hard enough to live with. Toss in rape and abusive parents? Wait your boy friend beat you too? Wait, they cut you off of your pain meds because they thought you might kill yourself? wait, the pain is so bad, that it makes you want to kill yourself?
jesus wept
she has moved on and gotten help and insurance through marriage and not dead. but every day is a pain level 7-10 day.
I literally can not imagine living with that. every day.
/csb
 
2013-05-10 04:42:59 PM  

namatad: Wait, they cut you off of your pain meds because they thought you might kill yourself?


The Feds are also interferring with proper medical practice by harassing doctors who "prescribe too much pain medication".  The Feds would rather a person lived every day in complete agony from chronic pain rather than risk they might become addicted to the pain killers that make it possible to make it through the day.
 
2013-05-10 05:14:21 PM  
aww man, I love her comics! she is very talented!


"I don't want to kill myself but I just want to somehow be dead..."

 this thought has crossed my mind many times with a herniated disc.
talk about feeling hopless and useless while in constant excrutiating pain,  there literally is no point to living.

If it hadnt been for online RPGs which I could play on my laptop lying in bed I probably would have killed myself. Video games are a nice distraction from how shiatty your life is. Online ones are especially nice for giving one a semblance of a social life when you can't go out anymore.
 I couldnt imagine suffering depression for years and not really know why or what to do and dealing with people trying to be helpful but not really understanding.  Or living with chronic pain spanning decades rather than just months or years.


at least people were relatively understanding about chronic pain. Even if I had killed myself I think people would have understood why.

chronic pain is a serious biatch. So is depression.

It took 2 years but I am grateful my depression eased as my pain eased...  There is a part of me that is insanely and deliriously happy for being pain free at the moment.

Today's a good day.  I wanna just hug you all! ( but I not gonna.)

:)
 
2013-05-10 05:18:37 PM  

torusXL: Maybe GPs don't quite have the training level to be fully effective, but think of the long term consequences of your idea. Psychiatrists are expensive, and if we were to require one for psychiatric treatment then millions of people with too little income and/or no health insurance would be left in the dark. So at least in today's society, it's good to have GPs freely able to prescribe many things, and it'd be bad to take away some of their ability and put more power in the hands of insurance companies.
The GPs are just fulfilling their Hippocratic oath. That's not to say some GPs may not be too gung-ho about antidepressants or whatever. Most things in life are best in moderation.


I'm not saying GPs shouldn't be allowed to prescribe that sort of thing, I am saying they need to use their judgement to decide whether or not they should be the one to do it or whether they should help the patient find an affordable option.

I don't think it has anything to do with the hippocratc oath, or the GPs needs to focus a little more on the "do no harm" part of it. They shouldn't be putting people on powerful drugs like that unless they know what they're doing and I don't think a lot of them do.

I wasn't evaluated or anything before my doctor wrote the script. I was in for a routine physical and think the extent of our conversation was me going in and mentioning that I wanted to talk to someone about depression and then she mentioned a drug that could help me feel better.
 
2013-05-10 05:34:35 PM  

torusXL: Bumblefark: ...I think the worst thing about the medicalization of depression is that it takes whole universes of human experience and understanding, and discards them as nothing more than symptoms of a malfunctioning brain...and all simply because those worlds happen to be unpleasant, either to the person inhabiting said world, or (just as often) those around them.

Have you been or are you depressed?
If your answer is no, then your post is just a steaming pile of arrogance.


Nah...never once. All rainbows and cat whiskers, every minute of every day, as long as I can remember.

Fromageball: GPs need to leave the psych stuff to the psych doctors...at the very least they're supposed to know a little more about it.

Maybe GPs don't quite have the training level to be fully effective, but think of the long term consequences of your idea. Psychiatrists are expensive, and if we were to require one for psychiatric treatment then millions of people with too little income and/or no health insurance would be left in the dark. So at least in today's society, it's good to have GPs freely able to prescribe many things, and it'd be bad to take away some of their ability and put more power in the hands of insurance companies.
The GPs are just fulfilling their Hippocratic oath. That's not to say some GPs may not be too gung-ho about antidepressants or whatever. Most things in life are best in moderation.

Bumblefark: tinfoil-hat maggie: Bumblefark: Yeah...that wasn't the point I was making. But, go ahead and stab aimlessly in the dark if it cheers you up.

Meh, I don't believe you have a point other than trolling with some absurd argument.

Oh, stop. I posted one comment suggesting that I wasn't thrilled with the idea of dismissing the total sum of depressive ideation as the result of a "kinked up nervous system." From that, you inferred I'm some anti-med zealot. And, somehow, that makes me a troll...

kay.

*HIGH FIVE* to tinfoil-hat maggie. We and others make a good team. Successfully chased out at least one of the self-centered asshats.


Not sure if projecting or just bad with insults.
 
2013-05-10 06:12:59 PM  
My story (late to the party, but here goes):

I've been dealing with stuff like this on and off since college (almost 15 years, now). Always (somehow) staying functional, by force of habit if nothing else. Self-medicated on the first go round, got hurt, not doing that again. Second round started a couple years back - just started getting bored with the non-priority stuff in my life.

Now, it's a struggle for me to leave the house except for work. All the anxiety, the OCD, the stuff I've seen posted around this thread - me, me, me. I can't talk about this with anyone I know - my old friends usually don't return my calls, the ones that do don't get it. Just got off the phone with someone who said "Go out and meet people." When force of habit is all that's motivating you, the idea of changing those habits is f'n *terrifying*, even if it might be the right advice. And forget my family - my father's been depressed since his brother died, and Mom's just waiting for things to work out on their own. It's really hard to talk about stuff like this. I feel like a drama queen just for saying anything. /end rant

I'm glad Allie's telling her story, and I hope everyone who posted is getting the help they need most.
 
2013-05-10 06:24:47 PM  

SilentStars: Now, it's a struggle for me to leave the house except for work. All the anxiety, the OCD, the stuff I've seen posted around this thread - me, me, me. I can't talk about this with anyone I know - my old friends usually don't return my calls, the ones that do don't get it. Just got off the phone with someone who said "Go out and meet people." When force of habit is all that's motivating you, the idea of changing those habits is f'n *terrifying*, even if it might be the right advice

.

I have an idea to toss out there. Sorry if I'm presuming too much - never personally had OCD, but a good friend does.

Can you somehow "bring" your habits along with you when you go out to meet people? For example, if you need to wash your hands often, would you feel more comfortable going out if you put a duffel bag of hand washing equipment in your car and extra bags wherever you might need them?
Or say you have trouble leaving the house without being able to check your locks each hour...what if (and maybe this is a wacky idea), you installed digital cameras facing the locks that streamed a feed online to a secure area, from which the locks could be checked using some mobile device like a smartphone or Google Glass or whatever.
 
2013-05-10 06:37:20 PM  

World Traveling Navy Vet: I am willing to hear your story in its completeness to try to understand what you are going through.  My email is in my profile.  As posted upstream my wife has minor bouts of depression and would like to understand more about it.


Sent.

daveUSMC: Me too.


You don't have an e-mail addy in your profile. :D

Thanks, actually. That's the first time I've been able to write the entire thing down without stopping midway through because I get so overwhelmed with living the memories that I lose the ability to form coherent sentences and put it down on paper.

/being an English major means free writing is almost next to impossible. . . must. . . follow. . . grammatical. . .  rules. . .
 
2013-05-10 06:42:17 PM  
Can you somehow "bring" your habits along with you when you go out to meet people? For example, if you need to wash your hands often, would you feel more comfortable going out if you put a duffel bag of hand washing equipment in your car and extra bags wherever you might need them?
Or say you have trouble leaving the house without being able to check your locks each hour...what if (and maybe this is a wacky idea), you installed digital cameras facing the locks that streamed a feed online to a secure area, from which the locks could be checked using some mobile device like a smartphone or Google Glass or whatever.


I actually have a smartphone with a camera - and for some of my checks, taking a picture DOES work.  That doesn't change the social aspect of the anxiety - going out to interact with strangers who, aside from limited functional conversation, tend to (to my mind) look at me funny when discussions verge to philosophy or literature and my poor cracked brain starts coming out of my mouth.
 
2013-05-10 07:19:41 PM  

SilentStars: I actually have a smartphone with a camera - and for some of my checks, taking a picture DOES work.  That doesn't change the social aspect of the anxiety - going out to interact with strangers who, aside from limited functional conversation, tend to (to my mind) look at me funny when discussions verge to philosophy or literature and my poor cracked brain starts coming out of my mouth.


Sorry to hear that. The friend I mentioned has a similar issue with OCD. In groups of people he starts to really stress as paranoid anxieties build up. He's totally fine when hanging out with just me and my wife, so if he goes out to have fun we try to make it us 3.

I'd totally be able to roll with your philosophy and literature conversations - I think that's a cool thing in people. EIP if you wanna fling them at me and I'll fling some back :)
There are a lot of people out there who'd like those types of convos. The problem is that society tends to form in "clumps" of people, so maybe you just happen to be in an area with statistical bias against philosophy/literature lovers. Ever heard of meetup.com? You might definitely be able to find a meet-up near you where everyone sits down and discusses things like philosophy.

No pressure, just something to toss out there. I know how anxiety disorders can be, it runs in my family and I have a mild form of it. On top of that, 2 years ago I had developed terribly low thyroid without knowing it. It pretty much bulldozed my brain - I had progressively severe anxiety including social anxiety, sleep problems, anger, depression....some of that stuff still remains despite treatment  (plus comorbid stuff unmentioned to keep a long story short) . So I know that even knowing about a good group to meet with may not be helpful, but at least you have the idea in your back pocket now.

Good luck!
 
2013-05-10 08:18:27 PM  

Peki: World Traveling Navy Vet: I am willing to hear your story in its completeness to try to understand what you are going through.  My email is in my profile.  As posted upstream my wife has minor bouts of depression and would like to understand more about it.

Sent.

daveUSMC: Me too.

You don't have an e-mail addy in your profile. :D

Thanks, actually. That's the first time I've been able to write the entire thing down without stopping midway through because I get so overwhelmed with living the memories that I lose the ability to form coherent sentences and put it down on paper.

/being an English major means free writing is almost next to impossible. . . must. . . follow. . . grammatical. . .  rules. . .



Thanks for the email, I have replied.
 
2013-05-10 10:02:41 PM  
 
2013-05-10 11:26:54 PM  
The compassion in this thread just blows me away. Truly. It's changed Fark a bit for me.

Most of you are pretty damned awesome.

The one thing that I saw that made me not feel alone is I use intellectualizing as a coping mechanism. I've told this to others who are struggling with depression, but I've always stressed it's not a solution, and everyone has to find their own fingerholds that work for them that keep you clinging on.

I use one common one, which is looking forward to things. Wanting to see how the Harry Potter books turned out was very helpful. Pets...another thing that helped too (though I'm currently petless, and I know this isn't a good thing. I need to get a cat, or even a pet rodent or something.)

But the two things that have helped the most are this, and I share them only in the hope that maybe it helps someone else. Or at least they don't feel so alone too.

When I was a tween (like 12) a girl in my neighborhood died. My family was very close with her family (her aunt lived up the street, she was down the block and around the corner). I actually didn't really like this girl. I recently found out she didn't really like me either (which makes me feel better). No hate or anything, just typical kids. Didn't hang out, though my brothers did with her cousins. I felt terrible when she died that I didn't feel sadder. I went to the wake, her little cousins almost tipped over the coffin (they were hanging from the side of it, doing pull ups to peer in). Beyond feeling shiatty for not feeling sadder about the whole thing, before we left the wake, her dad grabbed me in a bear hug and wouldn't let go. He was just sobbing. It didn't frighten me or anything, I've just never been so sure of what was in another person's mind than in that moment. It was pure farking grief for his daughter tinged with the unfairness that others in the world still had their daughters.

When I was 19, I went to her grave for the first time. I had attempted suicide a couple of times (two very serious attempts) and I wasn't sure why I went, except that the cemetery was in my home town, and I knew roughly where her grave was, and I'd never gone. I'm also a skeptic and an atheist so if you're expecting a supernatural moment, I'm going to disappoint you.

What happened there was a sort of epiphany. No matter how shiatty I felt, or how shiatty I felt my life was (or aspects of my life) I had a life that she didn't. She would never have her first kiss. She'd never have sex with someone she loved. She'd never have children. Her father would never walk her down the aisle. She was 11 years old forever, still buried with her birthday presents she never got to open. And the insane thought that I knew where to get a vintage Cabbage Patch doll also sprang to mind. (Dark humor keeps me going.)

I felt like my attempts to end it were a sort of blasphemy to those who didn't get a chance to have the fullness of their lives for good or ill. We get one shot at consciousness in this Universe as far as we know. When I end, it will be like before I existed, nothingness. Thats where she is, non existence. But while she did exist, she had a remarkable impact.

Including on someone who didn't even like her.

I've been tempted to tell her mom about this, as she would know whether or not to tell her dad. But I don't want it to cause them any hurt. I still think about her. And while I've very much wanted to die at times in the years since then...I've never made another attempt. And when I had that serious year long bout of severe clinical depression, this is one of the things that prevented me from doing it.

The other is intellectualizing it. I'm actually naturally a very happy and upbeat person. I have gone through some seriously bad shiat in my life, and people are always surprised at my 'resilience'. I just don't live in those bad moments. Life overall is pretty farking good when I'm not clinically depressed or anxious.

I KNOW this is artificial. I know it intellectually. I've studied clinical psych. and I use that information to my advantage. It's a chemical imbalance (probably) but whatever it is, it's like heart disease or any other physical ailment. It won't last forever even though it feels like it will. My perceptions are altered, and since I KNOW this, no matter how much I want to make various decisions...I don't. I wait.

But whenever I share this with other people who've gone through the same things, I'm adamant it doesn't work for everyone. And IMHO it almost smacks too much of 'snap out of it', which I don't want to ever convey. It's not an illness you can fix with just thinking it through...if one could, we'd have a cure.

It didn't make me one iota less depressed. It only provides a glimmer of hope. My mantra is 'This too shall pass'. But I also say it in good times too...to remind myself.

All this has just helped me cope. What helped my depression was medication. I use an old lady type medication wheel so that I NEVER miss a dose. I also promised my BFF that I'd never stop the medication without both doctor supervision and their awareness that I was doing that. I know that with psychotropics people are often tempted to stop them, or think they're all better now. I DO feel all better now, but it's because of the prozac.

Also since I was finally diagnosed with PMDD, I also know that should the meds stop working, I can also undergo ovary removal. That also tends to cure the depression. That is a huge comfort to me, knowing that there's a 'fix' if things all go south. And that's something most people who have clinical depression DON'T have as a lifeline.

I also don't give a shiat about people who think it's somehow weakness, or that depressed people just need a good kick in the ass or whatever. It's just so profoundly ignorant it is to me like someone telling me that demons are behind all illnesses and we all just need a good priest. It's kinda hard to get mad or take it personally when it's that stupid.

It was only extremely hard on one person, my BFF. And they hold no resentment whatsoever, because they know I was sick. I still feel badly about what they went through and how scary it was for them. I never argued with him about going to the doc (very similar to the comic) and having someone who gave a shiat when I couldn't give a shiat, who was certain I was sick (I really at one point just thought I was farking broken) and wasn't going to stop fighting until I was better.

And I guess I feel about prozac the way some people feel about Jesus...I know it saved me. :) Though I'm not gonna knock on anyone's door and tell them it's for them. But if all this shiat around here is ringing bells and you haven't gotten help...please get some. All you have to lose is that farking awfulness. And if you have gotten help and it's not working yet, don't give up.

After all Avengers 2 is gonna be AWESOME!
 
2013-05-10 11:40:33 PM  
@ Lady Indica - Awesome post, thanks for sharing for those of us that have trouble understanding.  I am very glad that you found your center.  Avengers 2 will be AWESOME!
 
2013-05-11 01:43:06 AM  

Lady Indica: The other is intellectualizing it. I'm actually naturally a very happy and upbeat person. I have gone through some seriously bad shiat in my life, and people are always surprised at my 'resilience'. I just don't live in those bad moments. Life overall is pretty farking good when I'm not clinically depressed or anxious.I KNOW this is artificial. I know it intellectually. I've studied clinical psych. and I use that information to my advantage. It's a chemical imbalance (probably) but whatever it is, it's like heart disease or any other physical ailment. It won't last forever even though it feels like it will. My perceptions are altered, and since I KNOW this, no matter how much I want to make various decisions...I don't. I wait.


THIS. I tell people, "I'm too smart to go completely insane."

KNOWING it, however, and being able to DO anything about it, other than hold on for dear life, are completely different things. . .
 
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