Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Hyperbole and a Half)   ಌ Maybe everything isn't hopeless bullshiat ಌ   (hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com) divider line 467
    More: Spiffy  
•       •       •

17625 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2013 at 6:37 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



467 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-05-09 09:19:28 PM  

huntercr: To support the fish analogy, in response to her, "my fish are dead." I'd offer: "yeah, my fish seem like they die sometimes too.  That's OK. You're OK. Lets go do some other things for awhile and check on your fish later. Maybe they're not dead."

/Get involved with something important in your life and you'll start to give a shait.
//and don't underestimate good therapy


*bookmarks this for her fiancé for future reference*
 
2013-05-09 09:21:29 PM  

OgreMagi: megarian: OgreMagi: megarian: musicmanboston: megarian: radarlove: megarian: radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?

I do. I am an intern, though. What do you want to know?

Mainly, how effective is it in someone who has run the gamut of SSRIs and Tricyclics and such but for whom those only exacerbated the depression?  Also, how difficult is it to find someone qualified and reliable to do it, and can a fella like me make you, the taxpayer, foot the bill?

I wish I had a better answer:

It completely depends. As an intern, I see three things: a month or so before, the day of, and every week after until discharge. Most have wonderful results...more with the electromagnetic response than the ECT. The ECT are usually more of an overdose-of-barbiturate effect. The magnetic responses are delayed but they seems to be more long term. The ETCs are usually pretty far-gone...I would say half are catatonic before treatment. But I have seen 10 or so (out of the 30 or 40 ECTs that I have seen) make some serious, remarkable recovery. 7 that I know personally are doing very well and are actually a productive person now. The 'magnets have an even better outcome. This is not scientific, this is just what I have see. The 'magnets are doing well, but insurance is sort of a factor here. Out of the ~20 I have seen, 9 of them are extremely responsive, and 7 of them are out of inpatient care for the last 6 months when they usually go back for mental treatment within the next 2 months if discharge. The ECTs come back within a year or so. Less severe, but it happens.

just wanted to throw my 2 cents in here. my ex ended up getting ECT. after 3 suicide attempts and 4 hospitalizations in a 4 year period, her psych recommended it. i will say this to you, MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT THERE IS NOTHING ELSE LEFT UN ...

Are you trying to ruin my "asshole" reputation?  Stop that.

And you're still hot, even if you are crazy.  :D

/or is that you're hot because you are crazy?
//with me, it's hard to know


I am absolutely batshiat crazy. Not
directed at others, though.

So yaaaaaaay!!!!!

It IS hard to know. I love me some crazy chicks. LOVE. All naked and crazy...with the weird requests...and yeah, I'll kiss you and then...wait...oh crap, there's people here.
 
2013-05-09 09:22:09 PM  
Would this be a good thread to mention that I started watching "Hannibal" a couple of weeks ago and Dr. Lecter on the show reminds me very strongly of my old psychiatrist?
 
2013-05-09 09:22:56 PM  

Elandriel: Woo! My first green. :D

This is one of her heavier pieces but most of her other posts are absolutely hilarious. Much advised.

Honestly I don't care if she's "back" or not, just that she is okay. She disappeared fairly abruptly when she became depressed.


Thank you very much. It is brilliant.
 
2013-05-09 09:23:29 PM  

huntercr: To support the fish analogy, in response to her, "my fish are dead." I'd offer: "yeah, my fish seem like they die sometimes too.  That's OK. You're OK. Lets go do some other things for awhile and check on your fish later. Maybe they're not dead."

/Get involved with something important in your life and you'll start to give a shait.
//and don't underestimate good therapy


It's a good point, but sometimes it sneaks up on you.

It's not like a traumatic experience happens. It's just a very gradual deadening and by the time you realize that "your fish are dead", you are too far in the hole.

Perhaps they are pining for the fijords? You want to turn away, because you know something is not right, but it all would take so much effort,
 
2013-05-09 09:25:01 PM  
She should of tried pot.
 
2013-05-09 09:25:10 PM  

SnakeLee: Wow being depressed sounds shiatty


Yep.

Imagine going through life, knowing with complete certainty that you're a worthless sack of trash, and everything you have ever done, or ever will do, is crap and a waste of time, and the world would be a better place without you.

And nothing can convince you otherwise.
 
2013-05-09 09:25:24 PM  

huntercr: To support the fish analogy, in response to her, "my fish are dead." I'd offer: "yeah, my fish seem like they die sometimes too.  That's OK. You're OK. Lets go do some other things for awhile and check on your fish later. Maybe they're not dead."

/Get involved with something important in your life and you'll start to give a shait.
//and don't underestimate good therapy


So very true.  I was likely depressed in a clinical sense some months ago, quit a shiatty job, new job fell through, got completely strung along and promptly dropped by a girl that I devoted WAY too much emotion into, etc.  Anyway, it all came down on me in a few short weeks and left me numb to the world.  However, I got back into school, and a few weeks later, life was back to normal.  Or as normal as it's ever really been for me...
 
2013-05-09 09:27:01 PM  
My depression has been going strong for 32 years now. There's been the occasional brief respite, and I have this vague sense that it felt really amazing, but I can't really *remember* how it felt. I've tried everything insurance would cover, spent 25 years in therapy, driven away lovers and friends, lost jobs, and finally settled on a tiny, proscribed, empty existence in which the only bright spots are my cat, the occasional good meal when I feel up to cooking, and the time I spend in a virtual world where my life revolves around music and kinky sex.

When I think about maybe trying harder, maybe making one more push to try to dig out of this quicksand, I remember the friend of a friend who, having exhausted all other options, had a vagus nerve stimulator implanted in her body. It didn't help. A couple of years later, she drank a bottle of bleach.

It didn't kill her. It just destroyed her health, gave her husband an excuse to take away her kids in the divorce, and made her life even more miserable.

This life... it's tolerable. I've long since given up on wanting more; all I want is to be left alone to manage what little enjoyment I can wring out of the few things I have the energy for. It's fine as long as I don't think about it too much. I expect I can go on this way indefinitely. And at least I'm not dragging anyone else down with me anymore.
 
2013-05-09 09:29:03 PM  
rustypouch:
Imagine going through life, knowing with complete certainty that you're a worthless sack of trash, and everything you have ever done, or ever will do, is crap and a waste of time, and the world would be a better place without you.

And nothing can convince you otherwise.


So, basically any day of my life...
 
2013-05-09 09:29:47 PM  
The emotionless issues that everyone is  talking about is quite frankly something that has been with me for my whole life. I have never cried over someone dying, and have always had the thought she has on her blog "uh oh...sad face sad face". I've sometimes thought that I was just a cold-hearted bastard.
 
2013-05-09 09:31:06 PM  
I am old enough to remember my first color tv (monsterous thing in a wooden cabinet that sat right on the floor) and how FREAKIN' AWESOME it was to watch shows in color. Then the set got old, and the color tube started to go. The TV would blink from color back to black and white. When this first happened, you could give it a little whack or stomp on the floor in front of it and get the color back on. The older it got, though, the harder you had to whack it or stomp to get the color back on again. Before it died, we were picking up the heavy cube hassock and throwing it down in front of the set as hard as we could. Sometimes that worked and sometimes it didn't.

It was still the same shows. But without the color, it wasn't the same experience. All the shows were meh. Like going through the motions. Why bother.

That's been it for me. Black and white living. Not severe enough for a corn moment, thank FSM, but enough so that I don't call my friends or family if I can possibly avoid it because I don't want them to notice that I am currently in black and white and have absolutelty nothing to contribute to their world of color and am too tired to fake it so that they won't notice how black and white and boring and dumb and dull I am and stop wanting to have anything to do with me which is why I can't have anything to do with them but they have pretty much stopped calling me so I guess they noticed anyway.

Other than that, I'm good.
 
2013-05-09 09:31:21 PM  

MarkEC: The emotionless issues that everyone is  talking about is quite frankly something that has been with me for my whole life. I have never cried over someone dying, and have always had the thought she has on her blog "uh oh...sad face sad face". I've sometimes thought that I was just a cold-hearted bastard.


Cheer up. You're probably just a sociopath.
 
2013-05-09 09:33:23 PM  
megarian: I found an amazing shrink that helped me. Lamical. After waaaaay too much lithium.

Lamictal is wonderful stuff, isn't it? (Especially compared to lithium.)

And for everyone who's complaining about SSRIs, I hear ya.  Sexual side effects were bad enough, but it was the emotional blunting that finally did it for me.  I was on them for years, and since they had rescued me from such a bad place, I never quite noticed that I just thought feelings and didn't feel feelings anymore.  It wasn't until I went off antidepressants that I realized I was having these strange new things called emotions that I had pretty much forgotten about.  Hell, I had feelings for my fiance that I didn't realize I had.  After about three months when my brain started to implode again, there was no way I was going back on those things.  The upshot of this CSB is that if you're unhappy with SSRIs, it might be worth talking to your doctor about trying a tricyclic antidepressant.  SSRIs became all the rage because unlike the older tricyclics, it's very difficult to take a lethal overdose (and when you're dealing with a patient population that's prone to suicide, this is understandably kind of a concern).  However, they are no more effective than the tricyclics when it comes to the likelihood of responding to the drug.  SSRIs have pretty universal side effects -- practically everyone can kiss orgasms goodbye,  practically everyone packs on pounds, etc.  The tricyclics are much more variable in their side effect profile, and there are many people (like me) who have essentially no side effects at all.  Everyone's genetic mileage definitely varies, but imipramine instead of Lexapro has been a marriage-saver for me.
 
2013-05-09 09:36:56 PM  
Internet fist bump for my heavily depressed internet homies.

*Fistbump*
 
2013-05-09 09:38:35 PM  
That shiat's going on with me, mildly.

I get counseling, I get anger management, a few meds that work well enough to keep me from blowing up the farking 'hood, and to top it off, all this dandy claptrap un-spikes my blood pressure
so I'll never EVER need to worry about retina explosions again. I had that happen once during a severe fit of rage and it spooked the SH*T out of me.

F*cking eyeball jellyfish.

But now I have a friend halfway around this gods damn planet who's getting hit with this far FAR worse than I ever got hit, and there is NOT A DAMN THING I CAN DO TO HELP.

I would walk through fire for this friend of mine if only it would do some gods damn good!!

It is so frustrating seeing it all happen all over AGAIN to my buddy, and at such an idiotic distance!!
 
2013-05-09 09:39:48 PM  
Commencing scan of everything, Captain.

static.rcgroups.net

Scan complete. The situation is indeed hopeless.
 
2013-05-09 09:39:58 PM  

gglibertine: MarkEC: The emotionless issues that everyone is  talking about is quite frankly something that has been with me for my whole life. I have never cried over someone dying, and have always had the thought she has on her blog "uh oh...sad face sad face". I've sometimes thought that I was just a cold-hearted bastard.

Cheer up. You're probably just a sociopath.


No, I'm more of a Vulcan. I have feelings, you just can't hurt them.
 
2013-05-09 09:41:02 PM  

MarkEC: gglibertine: MarkEC: The emotionless issues that everyone is  talking about is quite frankly something that has been with me for my whole life. I have never cried over someone dying, and have always had the thought she has on her blog "uh oh...sad face sad face". I've sometimes thought that I was just a cold-hearted bastard.

Cheer up. You're probably just a sociopath.

No, I'm more of a Vulcan. I have feelings, you just can't hurt them.


You lucky, lucky bastard.
 
2013-05-09 09:45:01 PM  
I've dealt with depression for a significant portion of all of my adult life, and I've found that alcohol, a sense of humor, and unbridled hatred for everyone and everything can make life worthwhile.
 
2013-05-09 09:46:15 PM  
"No, see, I don't necessarily want to KILL myself...I just want to become dead somehow."

Nailed it.
 
2013-05-09 09:48:01 PM  

AGremlin: If you understand and/or identify with this comic, you are depressed or at some time in your life have been depressed or have empathy

If you don't understand it, you're lucky.


FTFY
 
2013-05-09 09:49:14 PM  

God-is-a-Taco: J. Frank Parnell: Should have embraced buddhism or some other philosophy when she was having the existential breakdown about everything being pointless...

Oh ffs, don't even start with this. This isn't the thread for proselytizing.


You don't see a lot of proselytizing Buddhists though, that's kind of remarkable.
 
2013-05-09 09:52:16 PM  
Glad she's back. I feel like I really understand the comic and that I've gone through some of this. My thing is is that I can't really do "genuine happy" (if that makes any sense) around other people. It's really hard to get out of bed most days but if I'm home I'm fine. I'm mostly a solitary person and I can laugh and be kinda happy by myself. That's what makes me feel like maybe I'm not all that depressed. When I have to get up to go to work,I try to work myself up and get mad. That gets me through the day, it's like my edge. If I don't and don't really feel (again, hard to explain), it's like little shiat can just destroy me and I wind up having breakdowns.

Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.

I can't talk to anybody. I don't want to talk to anybody. It's like people are just invading my personal space no matter how much I'm willing to defer to them to just leave me be.

Sorry just thought this was a appropriate spot to rant a bit. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.
 
2013-05-09 09:52:25 PM  

megarian: I am absolutely batshiat crazy. Not
directed at others, though.

So yaaaaaaay!!!!!

It IS hard to know. I love me some crazy chicks. LOVE. All naked and crazy...with the weird requests...and yeah, I'll kiss you and then...wait...oh crap, there's people here.



Interesting, interesting indeed, and here I've always been the crazy one in my relationships, and I generally go for the sane girls.
/Maybe that's why I'm single now.
 
2013-05-09 09:52:46 PM  
I have never heard of this blog or this lady before today but apparently she's in my head because http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-b e -adult.html is my life.
 
2013-05-09 09:52:49 PM  

gglibertine: MarkEC: gglibertine: MarkEC: The emotionless issues that everyone is  talking about is quite frankly something that has been with me for my whole life. I have never cried over someone dying, and have always had the thought she has on her blog "uh oh...sad face sad face". I've sometimes thought that I was just a cold-hearted bastard.

Cheer up. You're probably just a sociopath.

No, I'm more of a Vulcan. I have feelings, you just can't hurt them.

You lucky, lucky bastard.


Maybe, but it's also a 2 edge sword. I might keep on an even keel through my life and not let bad things bother me, but I also miss out on a lot of the good feelings. I've been married for 29 years and can't really say I've felt love like most people, it's more like compatibility to me.
 
2013-05-09 09:54:25 PM  

Kittypie070: That shiat's going on with me, mildly.

I get counseling, I get anger management, a few meds that work well enough to keep me from blowing up the farking 'hood, and to top it off, all this dandy claptrap un-spikes my blood pressure
so I'll never EVER need to worry about retina explosions again. I had that happen once during a severe fit of rage and it spooked the SH*T out of me.

F*cking eyeball jellyfish.

But now I have a friend halfway around this gods damn planet who's getting hit with this far FAR worse than I ever got hit, and there is NOT A DAMN THING I CAN DO TO HELP.

I would walk through fire for this friend of mine if only it would do some gods damn good!!

It is so frustrating seeing it all happen all over AGAIN to my buddy, and at such an idiotic distance!!


Sorry about your friend and retina explosions don't sound fun or like a good thing.
 
2013-05-09 09:54:50 PM  

megarian: Posted this to my Facebook this morning.

So disturbing/funny/accurate.


Ditto. Well, this afternoon.
 
2013-05-09 09:55:25 PM  

Boris S. Wort: Food for thought.

Sometimes I worry that I might be depressed, sometimes I think I just have a hard time giving a shiat about stuff.  Do things matter?  Do they have to matter?  Would it make any difference if everything was pointless

Minds are weird.


Everything just is what it is. Not pointless, not meaningful. Everything that happens is a result of other things that happen. Everything that is happening now is the accumulation of everything that has ever happened. Nothing more or less.

It just is what it is. (My husband despises that saying but I think it's profound).
 
2013-05-09 09:56:28 PM  

oMaJoJ: Glad she's back. I feel like I really understand the comic and that I've gone through some of this. My thing is is that I can't really do "genuine happy" (if that makes any sense) around other people. It's really hard to get out of bed most days but if I'm home I'm fine. I'm mostly a solitary person and I can laugh and be kinda happy by myself. That's what makes me feel like maybe I'm not all that depressed. When I have to get up to go to work,I try to work myself up and get mad. That gets me through the day, it's like my edge. If I don't and don't really feel (again, hard to explain), it's like little shiat can just destroy me and I wind up having breakdowns.

Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.

I can't talk to anybody. I don't want to talk to anybody. It's like people are just invading my personal space no matter how much I'm willing to defer to them to just leave me be.

Sorry just thought this was a appropriate spot to rant a bit. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.


Hell yes. That sounds pretty much spot on. I social much better with a few glasses of self medication cabernet in me. Which I am trying to avoid, because my family tree is pretty much made out of E&J Gallo bottles and Schlitz cans.
 
2013-05-09 09:59:10 PM  

Kittypie070: a few meds that work well enough to keep me from blowing up the farking 'hood, and to top it off, all this dandy claptrap un-spikes my blood pressure


Beta blocker?
 
2013-05-09 10:00:18 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: I am absolutely batshiat crazy. Not
directed at others, though.

So yaaaaaaay!!!!!

It IS hard to know. I love me some crazy chicks. LOVE. All naked and crazy...with the weird requests...and yeah, I'll kiss you and then...wait...oh crap, there's people here.


Interesting, interesting indeed, and here I've always been the crazy one in my relationships, and I generally go for the sane girls.
/Maybe that's why I'm single now.


/ A match made in heaven?
// Would like to be a fly on that wall.
 
2013-05-09 10:01:24 PM  

oMaJoJ: Glad she's back. I feel like I really understand the comic and that I've gone through some of this. My thing is is that I can't really do "genuine happy" (if that makes any sense) around other people. It's really hard to get out of bed most days but if I'm home I'm fine. I'm mostly a solitary person and I can laugh and be kinda happy by myself. That's what makes me feel like maybe I'm not all that depressed. When I have to get up to go to work,I try to work myself up and get mad. That gets me through the day, it's like my edge. If I don't and don't really feel (again, hard to explain), it's like little shiat can just destroy me and I wind up having breakdowns.

Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.

I can't talk to anybody. I don't want to talk to anybody. It's like people are just invading my personal space no matter how much I'm willing to defer to them to just leave me be.

Sorry just thought this was a appropriate spot to rant a bit. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.


anxiety and depression very commonly go together.  I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder (exactly what it sounds like) and depression at the same time.

Also, just putting it out there... sounds like your job may not be the right one for you.  I know the economy is not the best for finding new jobs, but maybe you can find one that doesn't force to you deal with everyone else's petty problems
 
2013-05-09 10:02:34 PM  

Peki: *bookmarks this for her fiancé for future reference*


You've got mail.
 
2013-05-09 10:03:11 PM  

oMaJoJ: Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety.


Yes. And then they can feed into each other in this massive BS explosion of complete inability to do anything.

/maybe that's what's wrong with me? My life sucks, but holy fark the thought of doing what needs to be done to fix it ties my stomach in knots so bad I want to throw up half the time. Not to mention the fact that every time I have tried, physical or emotional pain has resulted (one lost job was because a double-homicide closed the store, another because I blew out my knee and was a passenger in a car crash a month later, and oh man is there more to that. . . )
//same with therapy. I lived that shiat once. I know I need to do it again so I can get past it, but trust me, if you were in my boat, you wouldn't rush headlong into that either
///swapped stories with a POW once. He bought me a drink and said, "You're probably the only civilian who is even close to getting it."
 
2013-05-09 10:06:15 PM  
The anxiety often shows up as hypochondria for me. Off and on, I am dying of farking ALL THE DISEASES!
 
2013-05-09 10:06:26 PM  
I have never seen this woman's work before. I am very impressed, she has open wounds and has the courage to show them. She also has a clear, insightful way to communicate her feelings.

Megarian--Some credit to you too for some very open posts.
A bit of my experience: I had a girl friend who could not get off except with a vibrator. She liked pleasing me but for whatever reason what I did was not intense enough. We added in the vibrator, that worked, she said it made it much more intense than normal for her. [Had to get a quieter version though for my benefit, I felt like I was in bed with a hive of bees.] Might be good for you to find a lover you can relate your problems to and is open to some less conventional solutions.
 
2013-05-09 10:07:04 PM  

Gonz: Peki: *bookmarks this for her fiancé for future reference*

You've got mail.


Noted.

Thanks to both of you. Nice to know there are some decent Farkers out there in the world.

/off to choir, so I'll be out for a little bit, but I'll check back in.
 
2013-05-09 10:11:05 PM  
Interesting piece.

I got the majority of it, but then again, I'm a bipolar depressive. Been there. Done that. Still do. Been in therapy and on meds since around 1997.

I was interested to see she pointed out the sudden loss of empathy for basically everyone and everything. That's a biatch for any family members to understand -- especially if, like me, you were the problem solver. She was right on with the explaining oneself to others, basically to prepare them for when you don't act right or normal or how you used to. After a time, you suddenly realize that either they don't give a shiat or don't want to grasp the concept and you're reduced to just a 'selfish f**k' in their eyes.

I went from a staunch supporter of (lost) causes and a Righter Of Wrongs to either not giving a shiat or feeling that getting all fired up about it would get me nowhere since no one was listening anyhow. Sometimes, I just didn't want the conflict.

Then, your sense of self becomes all foggy. Maybe you weren't the nice guy you thought you were. Especially since your closest friends of years one by one vanished, and you know it was because you pulled into yourself, but you gave them warning about changes to come. After a time, you wonder if anyone cared about you as you did for them.

Then, you decide they didn't.

Then comes the paranoia, the skepticism and you start to realize that the idea of everyone having a bit of good in them is really bullshiat. If they do, then they extend it to everyone else.

Just not you.

I think the episodes of Deep, Black Depression are the hardest. You don't want to do anything. Nothing makes you feel good. Then you get anxious and can't figure out why. You'll lay in bed all day and all night. Maybe you'll eat and maybe you wont. Minor problems suddenly seem mountainous. Writing a check for the rent can become nearly impossible.

Suicide becomes more and more attractive. It's a bit worse if, like me, you worked in psychiatrics and understand what's happening but are powerless to make things better.

See, you're fighting yourself and no one knows how to get to you better than yourself.

BTW. You sexual desires will come and go. Mostly go. One month you can be randy as heck -- but no girl friends come around anymore. The next you couldn't get it up unless you used viagra and a splint, but that's OK, because the women you know take too much effort to please anyhow and they tend to get all irritated when you've burned off the hormones and basically want them to just leave.

They don't grasp the concept of agoraphobia, which you'll develop, meaning you can't stand being around folks for too long. You understand their feelings, but by then, you're real tired of having to understand everything when it seems no one understands anything about you.

You may develop obsessive compulsive disorder, which is a little slice of hell. It can be controlled with effort and medication and mostly go away, but now and then, if stressed, it might slip back a bit.

Think trying to leave your house to keep an appointment, BUT some overwhelming urge makes you check the light switches in the house to make sure everything is off -- again and again and again -- at the same time the sane part of your brain is screaming at you that THEY'RE OFF and you're going to be late, but a sense of impending disaster makes you keep on checking them. By the time you do pry yourself out -- having to check that the door is locked 16 times -- you're going to be late and that anxiety combines with the anxiety of having to check the light switches.

It can make leaving home a bit interesting. Then, you wind up angry and scared at yourself for not being able to stop such a crazy and stupid activity.

Remember the TV series 'Monk'? The Obsessive Compulsive Detective? Well, they almost got it right.
And all of this feeds back into your depression.

Things you used to love to do, well, they aint so much fun anymore. Blue skies turn gray. Even the Goths and Emo kids would run from what goes on in your head.

Now, for me, there used to be periods of mania, where I could be super high and work all day and all night. It was a GREAT feeling -- except various forms of work which required care tended to get screwed up. Like, I might decide to paint my living room in the middle of the night, get it halfway done and decide that cleaning out my cluttered work room is more important.

Several times I had to force myself to NOT cut the grass after midnight, knowing the neighbors would call the cops. In the place I rented at the time, the land lord got a whole bunch of repairs for free when I was manic.

My medication eventually knocked out the majority of the manic episodes. I miss them. They were fun. Now, my life mainly runs like a straight line, with dips into darker depression. No glorious highs.

Still, therapy and medications have helped. Then again, the life situation I'm in hasn't helped. I'm on disability, meaning a very limited income. I had to move back into my parental home because the rents around here made it impossible for me to live alone and do things like eat. Then my elderly Mother became disabled and now, out of all of my siblings, I take care of her 24/7.

She wears diapers. She can't change them. Guess who does? Plus cleans her up and does everything else necessary. That includes arguing with her physicians, handling the major amount of medications she has to take and freakin BEGGING for help from my brothers and sister.

I never was good at begging.

So, depression in any of it's forms is NOT nice. It is curable, if you catch it in time, if you get the proper help, if you have the support of friends and family and you can lower your stress levels.

A lobotomy works, but there are some unfortunate side effects with that. Electro shock therapy has been known to work, but there's a few side effects with that also. Your best chance is with good insurance so you can see a private therapist and afford top notch medications.

Disability sends me to a clinic, where the budget cuts have kept cutting back the therapists and I'm on Medicare part D, which limits the medication I can take.

Cymbalta, the stuff on TV with that depressed woman being followed around by a cartoon depression blob, is hideously expensive. My plan covers 80%. My co-pay with that stuff, per refill, would be $95.00. My co-pay with Zoloft is $8.00.

Suicide still lurks in the back of my head, but I have a job to do. My Mom is 85. I doubt if she'll make 90. When she goes, my job will be done. After she goes, I inherit everything. (She's noticed the reluctance of my siblings to help me out with her.)

It aint much, but it's something. After all, the house is paid for and the taxes on it are low. I'm already on the deed so they'll not jump when I get the place.

Taking care of her is a lot of work. When the 'job' ends, stress may drop but there will be grief, because I love my mom.

For now, I exist. If you have depressed friends, pay attention. That goes for family members also. Don't get your butt all packed up around your shoulders when they stop acting 'normal' and turn apparently uncaring and sulky. Expect rapid mood changes. Expect them to turn into slobs. (Keeping a clean home becomes nearly an insurmountable task. The energy just is no longer there.)

Even dropping in and cutting their lawn or doing their dishes can help a lot. Even if they try and avoid you. Especially if they live alone. Fixing something broken can help, even if you know they can easily fix it themselves -- but they no longer have the energy to do so.

Depression is frustrating for everyone involved. It's not a case of the normal 'blues'. Most depressives will not try and explain to you what's going on because they don't know either.

Ironically, years ago, I used to help treat depressives.

Now, I get to look at it from their eyes.

Apologies for the length.
 
2013-05-09 10:13:19 PM  
suffering from depression is a phobia of mine.  i've never been depressed, but every once and awhile i'll have a crummy day or i'll be bored and not want to do anything, or i'll just feel negative about myself, and i'll start to panic and think "oh no i think i might have depression!" and i'll seriously start to worry about it.  but then i'll feel fine the next day and everything is back to normal.  i feel like i'm always just on the edge of having depression and it scares the hell out of me.
 
2013-05-09 10:16:35 PM  

Spadababababababa Spadina Bus: I LOVE THIS ALOT


This one?

4.bp.blogspot.com

...or this one?

3.bp.blogspot.com

This?

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-09 10:17:05 PM  

oMaJoJ: Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.


I have this, and anxiety-based disorders (social anxiety, agoraphobia, OCD, hoarding, etc) are all about desensitizing yourself to the anxiety.  It's a lot like being a duck in a freezing pond. The more you swim and the more you push through your anxiety, the bigger your world is.  But if you give up and avoid what makes you anxious, your entire world freezes around you until you're almost literally stuck in a little patch frozen by fear.  It's a constant struggle and a tough way to live. I haven't tried anti-anxiety medication as my condition is mild enough that I'm still functional, but it comes up at the oddest times.  I have a hard time meeting people for the first time.  Once I meet them, I'm fine. But while they're an "unknown quantity", I'm scared to put myself out there.  I just put on my best smile (my coping mechanism of choice) and charge ahead...most of the time.
 
2013-05-09 10:18:28 PM  

Alexei Novikov: I'm glad to see Allie back. Whenever I need to smile at something, her amusing posts tickle my funny bone. Been struggling with clinical depression for a pretty long time myself. Mine is incredibly frustrating to me because it's just bad enough to cripple me sometimes and yet, it was too easy to justify not getting help. Yeah, yeah, cool story bro, etc.

Tricyclics and SSRIs SUCK.

/on Wellbutrin
//and Adderall
///Ativan for panic attacks
////slashies!


SSRIs do suck - big time. It's even less fun when you can no longer afford insurance and find out that EffexorXR costs $350 per month.

/ that's nearly 3x my food budget
// cold turkey, it's not just for sandwiches
 
2013-05-09 10:19:49 PM  

Peki: oMaJoJ: Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety.

Yes. And then they can feed into each other in this massive BS explosion of complete inability to do anything.

/maybe that's what's wrong with me? My life sucks, but holy fark the thought of doing what needs to be done to fix it ties my stomach in knots so bad I want to throw up half the time. Not to mention the fact that every time I have tried, physical or emotional pain has resulted (one lost job was because a double-homicide closed the store, another because I blew out my knee and was a passenger in a car crash a month later, and oh man is there more to that. . . )
//same with therapy. I lived that shiat once. I know I need to do it again so I can get past it, but trust me, if you were in my boat, you wouldn't rush headlong into that either
///swapped stories with a POW once. He bought me a drink and said, "You're probably the only civilian who is even close to getting it."


Yea, the anxiety feeds the depression it seems at times. I generally know I'm heading into a depression when my anxiety and irritability start up bad.

Oh and check for small private therapists. Mine is great and worked a lower rate for me when I lost my insurance. She doesn't even have a receptionist so it saves her a lot of time filling claims. Anyway best of luck I know it's not easy.
 
2013-05-09 10:20:53 PM  
Creativity is a double edged sword. The hard wiring in your brain that makes you creative also makes you very susceptible to depression. It's the cross creative people just have to bear. I've been depressed since childhood. I've found that St. John's Wort keeps the blackest moods at bay, with only a little hit to my libido.

I bear my cross like a badge of honor. I've invented lots of things, got patents, been complimented on my writing skills, can make people laugh enough for them to seek out my company, even tho I'm weird as hell.

I understand that my feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness DO NOT reflect reality, merely a malfunction in my brain wiring. The Matrix movies sort of clarified that for me. Our perceptions of the world around us are the product of our brains creating our consciousness. Once you understand the processing malfunction is creating the feelings, and not actual facts, it becomes easier to fight off those feelings.

I chug along, like a farm laborer hoeing an endless field, and occasionally a little nugget of happiness or satisfaction turns up and I enjoy it, until the feeling fades and I go back to the dull existence of endlessly hoeing, in hopes of another nugget showing up. My pets help a lot. Keeping other people at arm's length helps, since it avoids potential hurt and angst.

I watch other people leading happy, satisfying lives and wonder how it feels, much like someone born with just one arm watches other people clap. I didn't create this depression, I was born to it. I've learned to live with it, just like the one armed man. I don't fear suicide, I see it as a last resort, like a test pilot being comforted by having an ejection seat to use if it becomes necessary.
 
2013-05-09 10:21:35 PM  
At first I was like this chic just never learned to play and have fun in here head without props (toys). But I kept reading think what crap then I thought wow she really is kinda making me get what it is like to be depressed holly fark that shiat sucks! Hope she keeps that corn kernel forever!
 
2013-05-09 10:26:37 PM  

Ambivalence: oMaJoJ: Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.

I have this, and anxiety-based disorders (social anxiety, agoraphobia, OCD, hoarding, etc) are all about desensitizing yourself to the anxiety.  It's a lot like being a duck in a freezing pond. The more you swim and the more you push through your anxiety, the bigger your world is.  But if you give up and avoid what makes you anxious, your entire world freezes around you until you're almost literally stuck in a little patch frozen by fear.  It's a constant struggle and a tough way to live. I haven't tried anti-anxiety medication as my condition is mild enough that I'm still functional, but it comes up at the oddest times.  I have a hard time meeting people for the first time.  Once I meet them, I'm fine. But while they're an "unknown quantity", I'm scared to put myself out there.  I just put on my best smile (my coping mechanism of choice) and charge ahead...most of the time.


I was going to ask something similar, because I've always been anxious and a little OCD (have to close cupboards in the right order, etc), but it wasn't until I had kids and got PPD that it turned into full-blown depression. I'm now noticing how one of my kids will run around perfectly happy and outgoing, and the other one, who's not yet two years old, has to stack things just so, and touch every doorknob in his room before bed, and I think, "oh no kiddo, you might have a rough road ahead."
 
2013-05-09 10:28:06 PM  
To all those that don't think depression is real, science proved a while back that it can be caused by a chemical inbalance in the brain.  The drugs that are being used are to try to kickstart the brain back into chemical balance.

Mrs. WTNV suffers from Chronic Fatigue Sydrome which has as a component depression.  She goes through the gamut of emotions including thoughts of 'it would be better off without her".  I don't always understand what is going on but do my best to prove to her that is not the case when she gets to that point.  As far as I can tell, she hasn't gotten to the place of no emotions at all for which I am grateful (after reading these posts).

My brother suffers from a condition that acts like non focus of ADHD/ADD but was treated with an SSRI (Paxil) which up and quit working one day this year.  He wants a family and the no sex drive bothers him a lot.  My dad is doing exhaustive research to find something natural that will aid the issue but leave him with desire.  If he finds something I will try to pass it on.

I myself have no issues laughing, crying, being sad or happy but have a hard time with death.  My mother passed a way this year from cancer at the age of 80 and I was sad only for a while, and I don't seem to have grieved fully yet but it doesn't feel like I need to.  I have had this reaction with almost all of my close relatives that have passed away.  Maybe because of my beliefs it is just not that big of a deal to me.  I don't know.

To those of you that are suffering in your various stages I hope like Peter Pan you can find your happy thought.
God Bless you all, and my prayers go out to you.
 
2013-05-09 10:32:55 PM  

gglibertine: You goddamned ignorant bee-eating toad dropping.


That was beautiful! *sniff*
 
Displayed 50 of 467 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report