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(Hyperbole and a Half)   ಌ Maybe everything isn't hopeless bullshiat ಌ   (hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com ) divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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17667 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2013 at 6:37 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-05-09 05:05:15 PM  
Happy to see that she's back
 
2013-05-09 05:09:50 PM  

SmackLT: Happy to see that she's back


Yup.
 
2013-05-09 05:10:36 PM  
Yay!
 
2013-05-09 05:34:28 PM  
... parp?
 
2013-05-09 05:38:30 PM  
That was a really good read.  She's talented.
 
2013-05-09 05:51:08 PM  
This cracks me up ever time (From Dogs Don't Understand Basic Concepts Like Moving)
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-09 05:53:20 PM  
It's like a cartoon by The Oatmeal, but more poorly drawn. All the enjoyability, not as much of the graphic design background. Good for her.
 
2013-05-09 05:58:46 PM  
Sheesh, she REALLY needs to get laid.
 
2013-05-09 06:16:24 PM  
Who is this person? A Farker? Would explain the unjustified comments praising her work
 
2013-05-09 06:25:12 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Who is this person? A Farker? Would explain the unjustified comments praising her work


Yeah I wanted to put it down but I thought she was a Fark Goddess or something and I would be flamed.
But yeah, after reading it (well the most I could read before I hit the eject button) I was just sort of like this:
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-09 06:28:28 PM  
Jesus that just goes on for f*cking ever.
 
2013-05-09 06:35:36 PM  
Woo! My first green. :D

This is one of her heavier pieces but most of her other posts are absolutely hilarious. Much advised.

Honestly I don't care if she's "back" or not, just that she is okay. She disappeared fairly abruptly when she became depressed.
 
2013-05-09 06:39:12 PM  
Kenny.....Loggins.
 
2013-05-09 06:39:36 PM  
Hyperbole and a Half is back!!!  Yay!
 
2013-05-09 06:41:50 PM  
I was in a decent mood until I started reading that....comic? Whatever it is. Everything about the page is just freaking creepy to me.
 
2013-05-09 06:43:21 PM  
This is... remarkably similar to my own life right now, except that the "fine, I'll go to a doctor if you stop making that noise" phase sort of looped into "I've gone to 10 doctors, but I can't pay for any of the medication I'm supposed to be perscribed and I can't pay for therapy, so now what?"

Of course, the fact that repeated doctor visits didn't help is just proof that I wasn't really trying, which is okay, because obviously if I'm not trying I don't want to get better and I deserve whatever happens to me.
 
2013-05-09 06:43:37 PM  

GilRuiz1: Hyperbole and a Half is back!!!  Yay!


I think that covers it quite nicely.

And I'm cleaning ALL THE THINGS Sunday.
 
2013-05-09 06:44:21 PM  

Elandriel: Woo! My first green. :D

This is one of her heavier pieces but most of her other posts are absolutely hilarious. Much advised.

Honestly I don't care if she's "back" or not, just that she is okay. She disappeared fairly abruptly when she became depressed.


I noticed Boyfriend is not mentioned at all on this post nor the previous depression one.
 
2013-05-09 06:45:41 PM  
Great to see her back!
 
2013-05-09 06:46:03 PM  

TheOtherMisterP: I was in a decent mood until I started reading that....comic? Whatever it is. Everything about the page is just freaking creepy to me.


Try living it.
 
2013-05-09 06:46:04 PM  
I gotta say the previous post about depression and this one hit too close to home. Glad she's back tho
 
2013-05-09 06:46:21 PM  
I LOVE THIS ALOT
 
2013-05-09 06:46:52 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: Yay!


Yippee!  I've been checking her page occasionally for the past year.  The utter lack of updates was making ME depressed.  Allie is 10 kinds of awesome.
 
2013-05-09 06:47:24 PM  
I'd forgotten how heavy her writing could be.

I'm glad she's alive, and I hope she finds a way through. She's got a gift with words I'd rather see used for good.
 
2013-05-09 06:47:42 PM  
Posted this to my Facebook this morning.

So disturbing/funny/accurate.
 
2013-05-09 06:47:43 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Who is this person? A Farker? Would explain the unjustified comments praising her work


The answers to your questions are in the archives of her past posts on her website.  She used to regularly post insanely funny things with poorly drawn (but brilliantly done) MSPaint pics for emphasis.  About two years ago, her posts started to slow down.  About a year and a half ago, she fell off the face of the internet.  There was one post to alert folks she was battling with major depression, and one appearance on Reddit, but otherwise silence.  Before she disappeared she was widely read by many farkers, and many of her blog posts got their own threads here.   Plus, she's not ugly.  At all.  Which caused many of the guys to drool over her.

So, with that context, I really hope she gets better.   If she starts posting again, it'll be an incidental benefit.
 
2013-05-09 06:47:46 PM  
I'm surprised at how modern medicine has missed what is so clear to the WebMDs here in this thread. Namely, that depression can be fixed by a good deep dicking.

Fark never ceases to amaze me.
 
2013-05-09 06:48:45 PM  

Elandriel: Woo! My first green. :D

This is one of her heavier pieces but most of her other posts are absolutely hilarious. Much advised.

Honestly I don't care if she's "back" or not, just that she is okay. She disappeared fairly abruptly when she became depressed.


Thank you.
 
2013-05-09 06:48:51 PM  
Wow, where was that single piece of corn when the variety of pills I was prescribed really made me lose my mind and attempt suicide (or worse) on six separate occasions?
 
2013-05-09 06:48:57 PM  

ialdabaoth: TheOtherMisterP: I was in a decent mood until I started reading that....comic? Whatever it is. Everything about the page is just freaking creepy to me.

Try living it.


We get it, you're bummed out. Get over it.
 
2013-05-09 06:49:21 PM  

BKITU: ... parp?


moum?
 
2013-05-09 06:49:45 PM  

TheOtherMisterP: I was in a decent mood until I started reading that....comic? Whatever it is. Everything about the page is just freaking creepy to me.


Well, that's what a lot of people are living through.

Are you just gonna ignore them because you feel creeped out about it?
 
2013-05-09 06:50:14 PM  

ialdabaoth: TheOtherMisterP: I was in a decent mood until I started reading that....comic? Whatever it is. Everything about the page is just freaking creepy to me.

Try living it.


^Aaaaaand this^
 
2013-05-09 06:50:54 PM  
I was literally just thinking about her, and worrying if she was ok before I refreshed Fark just now.

Today is officially a good day.
 
2013-05-09 06:52:27 PM  
The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS
 
2013-05-09 06:53:38 PM  
Wow, a lot of dicks in this thread to add to my Ignore list.


Yeah I know. "Welcome to Fark."
 
2013-05-09 06:53:42 PM  
Seeing a new Hyperbole and a Half post made my day
 
2013-05-09 06:54:55 PM  
//Super happy (see what I did there) that she is back. Those two posts are one of the best descriptors of what's it like I have ever read

///Well, that and Melancholia
 
2013-05-09 06:55:07 PM  
Dude on Couch and I are SO happy to see her post again - nice to know she's alive and actively blogging. Plus, while I realize her 2 depression posts might be a bit hard to read, they portray it very well (both humorously and accurately) and in an odd way inspire me....  Maybe I'll find my own "dehydrated corn under the fridge" soon  :)
 
2013-05-09 06:55:56 PM  

Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS


THIS.  Double this for the SSRI withdrawals.

/same goes for taking the damn things to begin with
 
2013-05-09 06:56:42 PM  
hate your life? that makes two of us.
 
2013-05-09 06:57:40 PM  

radarlove: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

THIS.  Double this for the SSRI withdrawals.

/same goes for taking the damn things to begin with


Yes. And yes.

//16 months off...and still waiting for my sex drive to come back.
 
2013-05-09 06:57:55 PM  
Great story.

By the way, can someone tell me who "she" is? I guess I missed something.
 
2013-05-09 06:58:47 PM  
I approve of this comic. Glad she's doing better.
 
2013-05-09 06:59:55 PM  

cake.

 
2013-05-09 06:59:59 PM  

Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS


My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).
 
2013-05-09 07:00:40 PM  

MelGoesOnTour: Great story.

By the way, can someone tell me who "she" is? I guess I missed something.


This is the post that made me a fan of her blog:  http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-ba s ic-concepts.html
 
2013-05-09 07:00:45 PM  
 
2013-05-09 07:01:52 PM  

ialdabaoth: This is... remarkably similar to my own life right now, except that the "fine, I'll go to a doctor if you stop making that noise" phase sort of looped into "I've gone to 10 doctors, but I can't pay for any of the medication I'm supposed to be perscribed and I can't pay for therapy, so now what?"

Of course, the fact that repeated doctor visits didn't help is just proof that I wasn't really trying, which is okay, because obviously if I'm not trying I don't want to get better and I deserve whatever happens to me.


Hey, been there, probably headed back again soon. I can feel the lack of connection to other people building inside me like a bad pimple inside my nose, just out of reach and vaugely uncomfortable. If you want to talk to someone about it I think EIP. Go ahead and post on here if it isn't we could chat somehow.
 
2013-05-09 07:02:12 PM  
That was a really accurate portrayal of depression.

I have found that thankfulness, even if forced upon yourself, can be really useful. YMMV.
 
2013-05-09 07:02:20 PM  

megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).


Damn dude. Why have sex if not for pleasure?
 
2013-05-09 07:02:32 PM  
I just read this and...it was like reading my biography.

/waiting for the corn
 
2013-05-09 07:03:59 PM  
depression is a fark.
 
2013-05-09 07:04:12 PM  

megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).


((Hugs))

I'm really sorry.

My happys are finally starting to last longer than 15 minutes at a time, and my sads are at least for identifiable reasons, but I'm still about 75% numb.

/hope it comes back for you, and plays nice when it does.
 
2013-05-09 07:04:16 PM  

Dinobot: I noticed Boyfriend is not mentioned at all on this post nor the previous depression one.


Don't get your hopes up I suspect. :-) In a really weird coincidence, just a few days ago I said to myself for the first time in months "hey, what's up with Hyperbole and a Half; I haven't heard anything for a while" and checked up on it just to make sure my RSS reader hadn't missed anything. Turns out that a while after her previous post (though still admittedly a while back), there was a Reddit thread on "where's Allie?" to which she actually responded. She explicitly calls out her boyfriend (fiance, at that point) as being supportive.
 
2013-05-09 07:05:15 PM  
For me it was porn not corn but cool.
 
2013-05-09 07:05:42 PM  

Cubicle Jockey: MelGoesOnTour: Great story.

By the way, can someone tell me who "she" is? I guess I missed something.

Read these:
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/10/god-of-cake.html

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/11/dogs-dont-understand-b as ic-concepts.html


Also read these:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-yo u- at-everything.html

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/09/party.html

and, my personal favorite (and origin of the "All the things!" meme):

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never- be -adult.html
 
2013-05-09 07:06:15 PM  

mesmer242: That was a really accurate portrayal of depression.


It's not nearly well-known enough that depression really isn't "oh God I'm so sad now" and much closer to what that post describes. Too many people say "hey, I'm not really sad, must not be depression."

(IANAP)
 
2013-05-09 07:06:42 PM  
Not a fan personally, but anything that may help people understand depression better gets my admittedly-valueless approval.
 
2013-05-09 07:08:22 PM  
You know what's really good for getting through to the other side of depression? Drugs and alcohol and escapist activities and making bad decisions.
Know what totally farked up your life after you figure out how to not be depressed? Drugs and alcohol and escapist activities and making bad decisions.

Our society ain't big on second chances unless you've got a really awesome story about overcoming adversity.
 
2013-05-09 07:08:38 PM  
Thanks Dino' & Cubi'!
 
2013-05-09 07:09:29 PM  
As someone who is clinically depressed, that made things a little better by making me feel a lot worse.
 
2013-05-09 07:09:32 PM  
I'm happy she was able to get rid of her alot of depression. May her alot of happiness stay around forever.
 
2013-05-09 07:10:32 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

Damn dude. Why have sex if not for pleasure?


Because it makes that stupid voice in the back of your head that tells you that sex (or at least an orgasm) will make you feel better shut the hell up for a little while.

/that's one reason of about 20
 
2013-05-09 07:11:08 PM  

torusXL: TheOtherMisterP: I was in a decent mood until I started reading that....comic? Whatever it is. Everything about the page is just freaking creepy to me.

Well, that's what a lot of people are living through.

Are you just gonna ignore them because you feel creeped out about it?


That seems to be the usual response, I've found, yeah
 
2013-05-09 07:11:42 PM  

megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).


Emotions are just roadblocks on the path to higher intelligence.

i21.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-09 07:12:03 PM  

Ryker's Peninsula: As someone who is clinically depressed, that made things a little better by making me feel a lot worse.


*nods in commiseration*

/worse is a feel, and feels are good.
 
2013-05-09 07:12:19 PM  

megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).


So if not for pleasure, for.... cash?

/I couldn't get into this, I didn't even make it to the depression part
//WTF are those little doodles in the headline?
 
2013-05-09 07:12:39 PM  

Old enough to know better: Wow, a lot of dicks in this thread to add to my Ignore list.


Yeah I know. "Welcome to Fark."


FU dick!

heh, heh
 
2013-05-09 07:12:45 PM  
I wondered where she had gone.  Nice to have her back.
 
2013-05-09 07:13:18 PM  
The retarded looking dog reminded me that I am familiar with the lady's work.

Glad she found the corn in the bullshiat.
 
2013-05-09 07:14:07 PM  
If you don't understand this, it's because it hasn't happened to you ... yet.
 
2013-05-09 07:14:08 PM  
One part of me laughed my butt off. The other part of me is scared shiatless.

/hits wayyyyy too close to home right now. . .
 
2013-05-09 07:14:24 PM  
I love you, Allie!!!  <3!!!!!
 
2013-05-09 07:14:26 PM  

Shadow Blasko: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

((Hugs))

I'm really sorry.

My happys are finally starting to last longer than 15 minutes at a time, and my sads are at least for identifiable reasons, but I'm still about 75% numb.

/hope it comes back for you, and plays nice when it does.


My corn moment happened when I looked out my window, a chance glance, and I saw the most random thing ever.

A three-legged dog chasing a squirrel with no tail in circles. I kid you not, the absolute absurdity of the entire world slammed on me. I felt like my entire 4 years worth of depression and cowardly attempted suicides(Relationship went excruciatingly sour, lost job, drowning in debt, etc.) was suddenly turned into complete mirth. I couldn't help but fall down and laugh for what felt like days. My ribs hurt, my mouth hurt, and my eyes burned with sweet salty tears of laughter. To this day I don't know what happened to that dog or the squirrel, I'd like to think they made amends and went down for a drink to talk about old war wounds.

I missed Allie, and hoped she was okay. It's good to know she was and appears to be finally rebuilding her emotions.

/nobody should need a "corn" moment
//nobody
 
2013-05-09 07:14:51 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

Damn dude. Why have sex if not for pleasure?


To make your partner happy.

I haven't wanted sex...well...since I started having it at 17, really.  Not a fan.  Ended up having a LOT of shallow sex with risky partners just to try to figure out what the big deal was.  Broke some hearts along the way, and they deserved better.  All any of that did was sour my view of sex further and drive me deeper into that darkness.  Still haven't figured out why you humans dig on sex so much.

Celibate.  Married.  You're damn right my wife ain't happy with that arrangement.  So you try to take care of your partner, when you can, but man sometimes the mere thought of sex is beyond bile-inducing, it's borderline rage-inducing.  And the guilt you feel for feeling that way to begin with just makes you feel worse.
 
2013-05-09 07:16:03 PM  
Holy shiat. Allie Brosh isn't dead.
 
2013-05-09 07:16:55 PM  
i.imgur.com

/feeling alot of feels right now, not the least of which is happy that ALL THE FUNSIGHTFUL has returned to INTERNET! FOREVER!
//which is why I'll never be an adult, and that's just fine too.
 
2013-05-09 07:17:53 PM  
I missed her alot.

24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-09 07:17:56 PM  
The art work is existentially awesome!
 
2013-05-09 07:18:00 PM  

radarlove: Celibate. Married. You're damn right my wife ain't happy with that arrangement.


Have you given her permission to see other men on the side?
 
2013-05-09 07:18:10 PM  
If you understand and/or identify with this comic, you are depressed or at some time in your life have been depressed.

If you don't understand it, you're lucky.
 
2013-05-09 07:18:49 PM  
I went through just what she's going through back when I was in my late teens to early 20's. I always tried to explain it to people as just feeling dead inside. You don't feel any emotions, be they positive or negative. Allie described it really well.

I'm completely back to normal now, though I can still remember that deadness quite clearly (I wish I didn't). I hope she finds normal again soon. She's a funny lady.
 
2013-05-09 07:19:48 PM  
Damn, I wish I was half as good at putting mental illness into words as she is. The "dead fish" bit is the single best analogy for depression I've ever heard in all the years since I've been diagnosed.
 
2013-05-09 07:20:17 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

Damn dude. Why have sex if not for pleasure?


Because I like relationships and that is a healthy part of it. I like sex once it is happening but initiating it is something that is beyond be simply because is never occur to me. I like pleasing the other person. I don't get anything out of umm...reciprocation. Well, I can but it takes like, a half an hour and an act of Congress.
 
2013-05-09 07:21:42 PM  

Shadow Blasko: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

Damn dude. Why have sex if not for pleasure?

Because it makes that stupid voice in the back of your head that tells you that sex (or at least an orgasm) will make you feel better shut the hell up for a little while.

/that's one reason of about 20


Exactly.
 
2013-05-09 07:23:27 PM  

SporkQueen: Damn, I wish I was half as good at putting mental illness into words as she is. The "dead fish" bit is the single best analogy for depression I've ever heard in all the years since I've been diagnosed.


That's how I feel about employment. PTSD. Other health issues, etc.

Everyone thinks they're being helpful, but when I sit down and explain it all to them, they just sit there with the blank stare and go, "Well, good luck, then!"
 
2013-05-09 07:23:47 PM  
To everyone that doesn't get it...

Just... be thankful. Remember what you've read so you can draw on that knowledge if you need it later, for yourself or for someone else... but be thankful.
 
2013-05-09 07:24:36 PM  

Dinobot: Elandriel: Woo! My first green. :D

This is one of her heavier pieces but most of her other posts are absolutely hilarious. Much advised.

Honestly I don't care if she's "back" or not, just that she is okay. She disappeared fairly abruptly when she became depressed.

I noticed Boyfriend is not mentioned at all on this post nor the previous depression one.


Actually, if you go back and read today's post, there's a cameo appearance in a few panels. I noticed that Boyfriend was there almost immediately, and was glad he hadn't bolted when her depressive sh*t hit the fan.

//while never in the horrible depths she's been to, there were parts that resounded for me
/I hope she continues her recovery
///I hope she's back to stay
 
2013-05-09 07:24:48 PM  

megarian: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

Damn dude. Why have sex if not for pleasure?

Because I like relationships and that is a healthy part of it. I like sex once it is happening but initiating it is something that is beyond be simply because is never occur to me. I like pleasing the other person. I don't get anything out of umm...reciprocation. Well, I can but it takes like, a half an hour and an act of Congress.


Woah. *....beyond me simply because it never occurred to me.
 
2013-05-09 07:25:46 PM  
I'm looking at you, thamike.
 
2013-05-09 07:26:21 PM  
No, it most likely is.
 
2013-05-09 07:27:02 PM  

JRoo: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

Emotions are just roadblocks on the path to higher intelligence.


This.

/I like this
 
2013-05-09 07:27:50 PM  

CruJones: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

So if not for pleasure, for.... cash?

/I couldn't get into this, I didn't even make it to the depression part
//WTF are those little doodles in the headline?


I couldn't make a Unicode rainbow so I settled for a heart...or close-ish to one. Allie deserves hearts. This post is very poignant and as shown by the thread a lot of people identify closely with it.
 
2013-05-09 07:28:44 PM  
Damn that's some really funny corn... Not really sure if the "relentless humor" act I put up has worked now, or I've just learned to manage it mostly.
 
2013-05-09 07:29:53 PM  

Shadow Blasko: To everyone that doesn't get it...

Just... be thankful. Remember what you've read so you can draw on that knowledge if you need it later, for yourself or for someone else... but be thankful.


So true, and as someone that (once again) just went threw a very bad bout with depression I'm not really sure if I'm getting a kick or not out of this.
/Meds have left me sorta numb
//Slowly reducing the dosage, now.
 
2013-05-09 07:30:20 PM  

Cubicle Jockey: radarlove: Celibate. Married. You're damn right my wife ain't happy with that arrangement.

Have you given her permission to see other men on the side?


It's been discussed.  I'm not worried that it would destroy our marriage or anything like that as the wife and I met under rather unique circumstances involving another woman.  And like most severely depressed people, I'm ambivalent to pretty much everything anyhow.

But she loves me very very much, and would rather not be touched by anyone but me anymore, even if that means she gets touched very, very rarely.  And even though I feel a lot of guilt for putting her through that, I feel even more blessed to have a woman like her.  She is a truly exceptional woman, and I have known a lot of ladies.  None of them compare.
 
2013-05-09 07:31:19 PM  
www.tandyonline.co.uk
 
2013-05-09 07:31:31 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-09 07:31:49 PM  

Meethos: ialdabaoth: TheOtherMisterP: I was in a decent mood until I started reading that....comic? Whatever it is. Everything about the page is just freaking creepy to me.

Try living it.

We get it, you're bummed out. Get over it.


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-09 07:32:46 PM  
data.whicdn.com
Oh, and I like this one, too.
 
2013-05-09 07:33:51 PM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I'm surprised at how modern medicine has missed what is so clear to the WebMDs here in this thread. Namely, that depression can be fixed by a good deep dicking.

Fark never ceases to amaze me.


i177.photobucket.com
 
2013-05-09 07:35:13 PM  
I don't want so sound like something I'm not. I like things about sex. I have never had an orgasm and that's not my focus. I like being physical and look at it as a sport...as in I want to make the other person have a really REALLY good time. So that's the goal and I am willing to work for it. But as far as me getting off? Not going to happen. I can do it manually but it takes a while and is not worth the effort. I like sex, though. I get a lot of information and mental pleasure through sex. I like aerobic activity.
 
2013-05-09 07:35:19 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: [www.tandyonline.co.uk image 492x492]


What does the most common NPN transistor in the world have to do with this thread?
 
2013-05-09 07:36:37 PM  
So, quite possibly all the attention this is getting will make some people realize, "hey, I'm depressed, I should see a doctor or something." Depression ≠ sadness but alot* of people don't know that, and they figure if they don't constantly feel like their dog just got run over they must not be depressed.

However, judging from the comments threads I've seen about it on the internets today, the main psychotherapeutic benefit of this blog post seems to be its ability to diagnose people with rage issues. Damn!

deliberate
 
2013-05-09 07:37:45 PM  
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom:
Damn dude. Why have sex if not for pleasure?

She's a woman, so I can't entirely relate, but...
As a guy that's been dealing with it for most of his life (but thankfully under control for the past 10 years), the sex drive is still there even when in the darkest depths of it. Hormones are strong things. "Why are you sad, brain? Thinking sucks! Reproduce! Reproduce!! YEAH! PASS ON THOSE GENES!"

Fapping wasn't so much satisfying as it was putting a silence on that drive for a little while. Although I suppose suppressing the urge is the effect no matter how the person feels.
 
2013-05-09 07:39:22 PM  
While my depression might not have been quite as severe, I do remember thinking, "I have nothing in my whole life to look forward to," and also wondering if things would be easier if I were just dead.

I never want to go back there.

I empathize with her and with everyone else in this thread who've gone through (or are currently struggling with) depression.  And I notice that a lot of people don't get it.  More than that -- they don't WANT to get it.  They recoil from depressed people as if depression were a giant oozing sore on our foreheads.  It's like they need to call us weak or lazy as quick as they POSSIBLY can, as if that were a way to prove they are superior and therefore make themselves immune to depression.

Luckily, there are a lot of really caring and empathetic people who also don't get it, but at least they try to understand.
 
2013-05-09 07:39:48 PM  

caddisfly: Bathia_Mapes: Yay!

Yippee!  I've been checking her page occasionally for the past year.  The utter lack of updates was making ME depressed.  Allie is 10 kinds of awesome.


She is indeed. And I've been quite concerned about her after her last appearance and subsequent long disappearance.
 
2013-05-09 07:39:54 PM  

JRoo: Emotions are just roadblocks on the path to higher intelligence.


Sounds like the credo of a psychopath.
 
2013-05-09 07:40:15 PM  
Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?
 
2013-05-09 07:41:00 PM  
I wasn't a close follower of H&aH, but the ones I had read I really enjoyed.  Glad to hear that she's working her way out of the big D.  (No, not "Detroit", though that would also be braggable.)

The feeling that you wish nobody cared about you so you could just stop existing is pretty goddamn rough.
 
2013-05-09 07:41:45 PM  
I think I'm seeing that in my house right now.  It worries me that I don't know how to help the injured parties, and I don't want to make it worse, especially after reading her reactions to well meaning idiots.

I'm scared.
 
2013-05-09 07:42:02 PM  

radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?


I do. I am an intern, though. What do you want to know?
 
2013-05-09 07:42:04 PM  
This was purely awesome to read.
Glad she's back - still waiting for the book though!
 
2013-05-09 07:43:45 PM  
sometimes I think she's me.

could just be the fark handle, though.
 
2013-05-09 07:44:20 PM  

radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?


Yes. A family friend lost 7 years of her memory, then got brain cancer and died after ECT (may or may not have been related). I'm wary of its therapeutic value.
 
2013-05-09 07:44:51 PM  

megarian: radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?

I do. I am an intern, though. What do you want to know?


Mainly, how effective is it in someone who has run the gamut of SSRIs and Tricyclics and such but for whom those only exacerbated the depression?  Also, how difficult is it to find someone qualified and reliable to do it, and can a fella like me make you, the taxpayer, foot the bill?
 
2013-05-09 07:45:06 PM  
I had depression.  Still have a partial bottle of Pristiq sitting here. I didn't want to kill myself though, I wanted to kill everyone else. Lost a years and a half of my life hiding in the house. It sucks balls.
 
2013-05-09 07:46:42 PM  

cherryl taggart: I think I'm seeing that in my house right now.  It worries me that I don't know how to help the injured parties, and I don't want to make it worse, especially after reading her reactions to well meaning idiots.

I'm scared.


Well, it's a scary thing.  You can't make anyone get better, or even make them want to get better. They have to 1) notice that it's a problem and 2) work really, really hard every day to make it better.

You might be able to help with 1.  2 is ultimately up to them, (although you can provide financial and emotional support).

I think the best way to deal with a depressed person is the way as with anyone who is sick.  Be real.  Don't pretend that they're not sick, or pretend they're not hurting.  The fish are dead.  That sucks.  Be there with them while it sucks.  Show them you care about them anyway.
 
2013-05-09 07:46:56 PM  

radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?


They were offered as a last resort to me, thankfully a cocktail of meds, talk and group therapy and not drinking half a gallon of vodka daily kicked in and I felt better before I needed to go that far. I used to know someone who did go with ECT though and while it kind of left them with a lost week or two that they couldn't remember it did sort of reset their emotions at a slightly sub-normal level and got them going again. Find a good Psychiatrist and talk to them about it.
 
2013-05-09 07:47:54 PM  

TaterTot_HotDish: cherryl taggart: I think I'm seeing that in my house right now.  It worries me that I don't know how to help the injured parties, and I don't want to make it worse, especially after reading her reactions to well meaning idiots.

I'm scared.

Well, it's a scary thing.  You can't make anyone get better, or even make them want to get better. They have to 1) notice that it's a problem and 2) work really, really hard every day to make it better.

You might be able to help with 1.  2 is ultimately up to them, (although you can provide financial and emotional support).

I think the best way to deal with a depressed person is the way as with anyone who is sick.  Be real.  Don't pretend that they're not sick, or pretend they're not hurting.  The fish are dead.  That sucks.  Be there with them while it sucks.  Show them you care about them anyway.


I should have also said, best of luck to you.  I hope things will get better.
 
2013-05-09 07:48:02 PM  

Mentalpatient87: [data.whicdn.com image 500x691]
Oh, and I like this one, too.


Thank you. I just spent ten minutes trying to find that.
 
2013-05-09 07:48:27 PM  
I'm so glad that Allie is back.  (((Hyperbole-and-a-half-girl)))

Oh my dear god, her description of depression resonated loud and, well, depressingly.

/chronic depression since highschool.  Now 50.  SSRIs help, having loving friends helps.
 
2013-05-09 07:49:01 PM  

my alt's alt's alt: radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?

Yes. A family friend lost 7 years of her memory, then got brain cancer and died after ECT (may or may not have been related). I'm wary of its therapeutic value.


Do you get to pick the 7 years?  Because there are at least seven I'd like to wipe out entirely sometimes.  And the risk of brain cancer and *gasp!* death really doesn't mean much to a depressed person.

/They should hire us for all the most dangerous and lucrative jobs.
//Like Fark admin.
 
2013-05-09 07:49:24 PM  

cherryl taggart: I think I'm seeing that in my house right now.  It worries me that I don't know how to help the injured parties, and I don't want to make it worse, especially after reading her reactions to well meaning idiots.

I'm scared.


I'm seeing that in me right now.

/having a little mini-crisis atm. You're telling me I have PTSD AND clinical depression? WTF???
//and that thought made me thinking of grabbing a gun. . . hmm. . .
 
2013-05-09 07:50:19 PM  

Peki: thinking


think, ffs, think!!

/I have a B.A. in English, I swear. I just need to go back to school to get it all back.
 
2013-05-09 07:50:48 PM  

James F. Campbell: JRoo: Emotions are just roadblocks on the path to higher intelligence.

Sounds like the credo of a psychopath.


Fringe motherfarker!

Did you watch it?!
 
2013-05-09 07:51:29 PM  

Hyperbolic Hyperbole: sometimes I think she's me.

could just be the fark handle, though.


oi39.tinypic.com
NOT SURE IF SERIOUS

 
2013-05-09 07:51:38 PM  

patchvonbraun: Oh my dear god, her description of depression resonated loud and, well, depressingly.


I'm really glad to see that I'm not the only person that actually felt more depressed after reading that, lol.
 
2013-05-09 07:51:44 PM  
that was a really good article.  much more in touch with depression than i'd expected.

i'd forgotten that so many of these familiar images came from her blog but i love the doodles-cum-artwork.  i think an ALOT tattoo (small and out of the way) would be neat if i was interested in getting an internet meme for a tattoo.
 
2013-05-09 07:54:44 PM  

Elandriel: CruJones: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

So if not for pleasure, for.... cash?

/I couldn't get into this, I didn't even make it to the depression part
//WTF are those little doodles in the headline?

I couldn't make a Unicode rainbow so I settled for a heart...or close-ish to one. Allie deserves hearts. This post is very poignant and as shown by the thread a lot of people identify closely with it.


I thought it was a joint at first...

And I see people identify with it, I just couldn't get far enough in I guess.  I got bored with the stuffed animals and didn't get to anything substantial.
 
2013-05-09 07:56:34 PM  

megarian: I don't want so sound like something I'm not. I like things about sex. I have never had an orgasm and that's not my focus. I like being physical and look at it as a sport...as in I want to make the other person have a really REALLY good time. So that's the goal and I am willing to work for it. But as far as me getting off? Not going to happen. I can do it manually but it takes a while and is not worth the effort. I like sex, though. I get a lot of information and mental pleasure through sex. I like aerobic activity.


You need to leave Detroit.
 
2013-05-09 07:57:33 PM  
That is more true than anyone without depression can hope to understand.
 
2013-05-09 07:57:41 PM  
Depression - it's peaceful.

/ at least there's that
// but yeah, not much else
 
2013-05-09 07:59:29 PM  

radarlove: megarian: radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?

I do. I am an intern, though. What do you want to know?

Mainly, how effective is it in someone who has run the gamut of SSRIs and Tricyclics and such but for whom those only exacerbated the depression?  Also, how difficult is it to find someone qualified and reliable to do it, and can a fella like me make you, the taxpayer, foot the bill?


I wish I had a better answer:

It completely depends. As an intern, I see three things: a month or so before, the day of, and every week after until discharge. Most have wonderful results...more with the electromagnetic response than the ECT. The ECT are usually more of an overdose-of-barbiturate effect. The magnetic responses are delayed but they seems to be more long term. The ETCs are usually pretty far-gone...I would say half are catatonic before treatment. But I have seen 10 or so (out of the 30 or 40 ECTs that I have seen) make some serious, remarkable recovery. 7 that I know personally are doing very well and are actually a productive person now. The 'magnets have an even better outcome. This is not scientific, this is just what I have see. The 'magnets are doing well, but insurance is sort of a factor here. Out of the ~20 I have seen, 9 of them are extremely responsive, and 7 of them are out of inpatient care for the last 6 months when they usually go back for mental treatment within the next 2 months if discharge. The ECTs come back within a year or so. Less severe, but it happens.
 
2013-05-09 08:00:44 PM  

CynicalLA: megarian: I don't want so sound like something I'm not. I like things about sex. I have never had an orgasm and that's not my focus. I like being physical and look at it as a sport...as in I want to make the other person have a really REALLY good time. So that's the goal and I am willing to work for it. But as far as me getting off? Not going to happen. I can do it manually but it takes a while and is not worth the effort. I like sex, though. I get a lot of information and mental pleasure through sex. I like aerobic activity.

You need to leave Detroit.


I don't mind Detroit. Maybe it's symptomatic?
 
2013-05-09 08:02:08 PM  
...

BAP!
 
2013-05-09 08:03:32 PM  
I'm glad to see Allie back. Whenever I need to smile at something, her amusing posts tickle my funny bone. Been struggling with clinical depression for a pretty long time myself. Mine is incredibly frustrating to me because it's just bad enough to cripple me sometimes and yet, it was too easy to justify not getting help. Yeah, yeah, cool story bro, etc.

Tricyclics and SSRIs SUCK.

/on Wellbutrin
//and Adderall
///Ativan for panic attacks
////slashies!
 
2013-05-09 08:03:42 PM  
I want to say this is the truest thing I've ever read in relation to how I feel in my real life.  I've NEVER been able to articulate it, and this article/cartoon/essay described it EXACTLY.  Word for WORD how I'd imagine the perfect way of saying it.  I'm really, really touched.  Well..as much as I can BE touched.  I suppose I will keep looking for my piece of corn.
 
2013-05-09 08:04:18 PM  

radarlove: patchvonbraun: Oh my dear god, her description of depression resonated loud and, well, depressingly.

I'm really glad to see that I'm not the only person that actually felt more depressed after reading that, lol.


I started looking at it and caught the jist and decided I'd better stop reading. At least for right now.
/Hope this work out okay for ya..
 
2013-05-09 08:04:44 PM  

MarkEC: Quantum Apostrophe: [www.tandyonline.co.uk image 492x492]

What does the most common NPN transistor in the world have to do with this thread?


I'm guessing it's a bipolar transistor?
 
2013-05-09 08:05:01 PM  

megarian: CynicalLA: megarian: I don't want so sound like something I'm not. I like things about sex. I have never had an orgasm and that's not my focus. I like being physical and look at it as a sport...as in I want to make the other person have a really REALLY good time. So that's the goal and I am willing to work for it. But as far as me getting off? Not going to happen. I can do it manually but it takes a while and is not worth the effort. I like sex, though. I get a lot of information and mental pleasure through sex. I like aerobic activity.

You need to leave Detroit.

I don't mind Detroit. Maybe it's symptomatic?


I was joking but I heard it isn't what it used to be.  The grass isn't always greener.  And changing locations is no way to try and help depression.
 
2013-05-09 08:06:44 PM  

Alexei Novikov: I'm glad to see Allie back. Whenever I need to smile at something, her amusing posts tickle my funny bone. Been struggling with clinical depression for a pretty long time myself. Mine is incredibly frustrating to me because it's just bad enough to cripple me sometimes and yet, it was too easy to justify not getting help. Yeah, yeah, cool story bro, etc.

Tricyclics and SSRIs SUCK.

/on Wellbutrin
//and Adderall
///Ativan for panic attacks
////slashies!


Adderall is a serious drug and hopefully you are taking it for the right reasons.
 
2013-05-09 08:08:22 PM  
Should have embraced buddhism or some other philosophy when she was having the existential breakdown about everything being pointless. There's absolutely nothing wrong with thinking that, and it can lead to a new, more honest, way to be happy. Instead it seems her road to happiness is to continue trying to be happy about the meaningless and superficial crap she became disillusioned with.

/"Products and TV shows give my life meaning!"
 
2013-05-09 08:09:23 PM  

CynicalLA: megarian: CynicalLA: megarian: I don't want so sound like something I'm not. I like things about sex. I have never had an orgasm and that's not my focus. I like being physical and look at it as a sport...as in I want to make the other person have a really REALLY good time. So that's the goal and I am willing to work for it. But as far as me getting off? Not going to happen. I can do it manually but it takes a while and is not worth the effort. I like sex, though. I get a lot of information and mental pleasure through sex. I like aerobic activity.

You need to leave Detroit.

I don't mind Detroit. Maybe it's symptomatic?

I was joking but I heard it isn't what it used to be.  The grass isn't always greener.  And changing locations is no way to try and help depression.


Really: Detroit sucks. People get shot...often. And no one really cares. But I've sort of been fascinated by the strange degradation...and I have jobs that I *love* and I get to interact with the actual inhabitants of Detroit everyday. They're messed up, but pretty cool and they have a lot of interesting, shockingly humanistic awesome things to say. I do mental health and social work, so I see a lot to ridiculous assholes, too. And they SUCK.
 
2013-05-09 08:11:50 PM  
Damn, that hits a bit close to home...
 
2013-05-09 08:12:28 PM  

radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?


I know someone who had the magnet thing done and it seems to have helped. They still have other issues, but the depressive component (not enjoying doing anything, withdrawing, etc.) seems to be gone.
 
2013-05-09 08:13:17 PM  
Have any of you sad sacks tried manning (or womanning) up and dealing with things? Depression is like adhd, namely that its not a real thing.
 
2013-05-09 08:15:25 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Have any of you sad sacks tried manning (or womanning) up and dealing with things? Depression is like adhd, namely that its not a real thing.


10/10

You will do well with this derp, and catch many a fish. You, sir/madam, are the Westboro Baptist Church of trolls!
 
2013-05-09 08:16:58 PM  

J. Frank Parnell: Should have embraced buddhism or some other philosophy when she was having the existential breakdown about everything being pointless...


Oh ffs, don't even start with this. This isn't the thread for proselytizing.
 
2013-05-09 08:17:07 PM  

LovingTeacher:
my alt's alt's alt:
megarian:


Thanks for the input, y'all!   =)


CynicalLA: Adderall is a serious drug and hopefully you are taking it for the right reasons.


lol...they're ALL serious drugs.  In fact, of the three listed Adderal isn't even the most dangerous.  Just the most abused.
 
2013-05-09 08:18:19 PM  

megarian: Really: Detroit sucks. People get shot...often. And no one really cares. But I've sort of been fascinated by the strange degradation...and I have jobs that I *love* and I get to interact with the actual inhabitants of Detroit everyday. They're messed up, but pretty cool and they have a lot of interesting, shockingly humanistic awesome things to say. I do mental health and social work, so I see a lot to ridiculous assholes, too. And they SUCK.


Sounds like an interesting job and you must have tons of patience.  This country needs to put a lot more money into your field.   I
 
2013-05-09 08:18:39 PM  

What_do_you_want_now: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Have any of you sad sacks tried manning (or womanning) up and dealing with things? Depression is like adhd, namely that its not a real thing.

10/10

You will do well with this derp, and catch many a fish. You, sir/madam, are the Westboro Baptist Church of trolls!


Really?  I thought that it was ridiculously hamfisted and unrealistic.
 
2013-05-09 08:19:09 PM  

J. Frank Parnell: Should have embraced buddhism or some other philosophy when she was having the existential breakdown about everything being pointless. There's absolutely nothing wrong with thinking that, and it can lead to a new, more honest, way to be happy. Instead it seems her road to happiness is to continue trying to be happy about the meaningless and superficial crap she became disillusioned with.

/"Products and TV shows give my life meaning!"


I don't think that is what she said at all. The toys and bowling and dead goldfish were just analogies to help explain depression to non-depressed people. Suggesting that a new philosophy or religion will cure depression is rather insulting to the depressed person and just another form of telling them to "man up and get through it". Just imagine how insulting it would be to tell someone "become a christian and jesus will cure your depression, see if you were just a better christian you wouldn't be depressed". You may not mean to but that is essentially what you are doing here but with buddism instead of jesus.

Don't get me wrong, talk therapy kind of IS helping you to change your philosophy about life but it is much more than that too and for severe long term depression like what she seems to have usually works best when it goes along with medication.
 
2013-05-09 08:20:24 PM  
I vividly remember getting my rage back.  All I did when I was depressed was sleep, everything else was just a fuzzy blob of people I had to interact with.  I was trying to sleep one night, I was desperate for sleep, since I'd been taken to a party the night before which turned into me driving people all over the place (airport etc...) and not sleeping for about 35 hours.  My roommates/friends were in the living room playing Mario party and every time i thought I was getting close to falling asleep they would make a noise that snapped me out of it.  I eventually raged out and burst out of my room screaming gibberish and ranting.

The next day I think I cried for about 10 hours straight thinking that I had just ruined my friendships (I had) and my life and just totally hating myself.  I took a day or two for me to fully realize that even though it was pretty negative, I was actually caring enough about something to be angry and upset about it, something I hadn't been able to do for a year and a half.

The thing that got me back on track was, oddly enough, getting a job a few weeks later - I latched onto it as a sense of purpose and a reason to care about something.  I burned myself out at work pretty quickly but it got me started back on the right track.

I have not felt truly depressed (I still get blue sometimes) in years but was always worried that it was right there, waiting to snatch me up again, when I fell in love with someone.  I didn't work out (unrequited) but loving someone was something I didn't even know I was capable of until it happened.

I've been pretty happy the last three years, managed to finish up a degree, get a career, and really start my life back up.  I know that my story is pretty tame compared to what many depression sufferers have gone through, but I kind of feel compelled to tell it.
 
2013-05-09 08:20:43 PM  

radarlove: CynicalLA: Adderall is a serious drug and hopefully you are taking it for the right reasons.

lol...they're ALL serious drugs.  In fact, of the three listed Adderal isn't even the most dangerous.  Just the most abused.


I've know a few people that went from Adderall to meth.  I think Adderall is a lot more addictive than the other ones.  Speed is a helluva drug.
 
2013-05-09 08:21:14 PM  

mesmer242: radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?

I know someone who had the magnet thing done and it seems to have helped. They still have other issues, but the depressive component (not enjoying doing anything, withdrawing, etc.) seems to be gone.


I've been really intrigued ever since I saw Alan Alda do it for Scientific American.  I keep looking on the web to see if there are any clinical trials I can sign up for, but no luck yet.  *sigh*  Someday!

/I's po' folk, but I's can dream, yessir!
 
2013-05-09 08:21:35 PM  

God-is-a-Taco: J. Frank Parnell: Should have embraced buddhism or some other philosophy when she was having the existential breakdown about everything being pointless...

Oh ffs, don't even start with this. This isn't the thread for proselytizing.


lightenupfrancis.jpg
 
2013-05-09 08:23:16 PM  
Contrabulous Fabtraption
Have any of you sad sacks tried manning (or womanning) up and dealing with things? Depression is like adhd, namely that its not a real thing.

Go fark yourself with a rusty chainsaw.
 
2013-05-09 08:24:55 PM  

CynicalLA: radarlove: CynicalLA: Adderall is a serious drug and hopefully you are taking it for the right reasons.

lol...they're ALL serious drugs.  In fact, of the three listed Adderal isn't even the most dangerous.  Just the most abused.

I've know a few people that went from Adderall to meth.  I think Adderall is a lot more addictive than the other ones.  Speed is a helluva drug.


Like I said, it's the most abused.  But with Wellbutrin there's a fighting chance that you'll off yourself, and if you come to your senses and chuck the bottle down the toilet, there's a fighting chance that you'll die from the withdrawals anyhow.
 
2013-05-09 08:27:34 PM  

radarlove: CynicalLA: radarlove: CynicalLA: Adderall is a serious drug and hopefully you are taking it for the right reasons.

lol...they're ALL serious drugs.  In fact, of the three listed Adderal isn't even the most dangerous.  Just the most abused.

I've know a few people that went from Adderall to meth.  I think Adderall is a lot more addictive than the other ones.  Speed is a helluva drug.

Like I said, it's the most abused.  But with Wellbutrin there's a fighting chance that you'll off yourself, and if you come to your senses and chuck the bottle down the toilet, there's a fighting chance that you'll die from the withdrawals anyhow.


And people wonder why I left the free mental health clinic in Los Angeles when they started that pill soup BS on me.

/I need two drugs and therapy, that's it. Seriously.
//drugs are comparatively easy to get compared to long-term therapy
 
2013-05-09 08:28:20 PM  

What_do_you_want_now: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Have any of you sad sacks tried manning (or womanning) up and dealing with things? Depression is like adhd, namely that its not a real thing.

10/10

You will do well with this derp, and catch many a fish. You, sir/madam, are the Westboro Baptist Church of trolls!


I'm quite pleased with myself that only two of the trolls in this thread weren't already on my ignore list. It's a HELL of an ignore list though. Pretty much the only reason to get a Fark account is to block the trolls.
 
2013-05-09 08:30:31 PM  

cherryl taggart: I think I'm seeing that in my house right now.  It worries me that I don't know how to help the injured parties, and I don't want to make it worse, especially after reading her reactions to well meaning idiots.


I've seen it before with someone I dated for a while. It's really unpleasant; I pretty much felt helpless. I  think I didn't really say anything as dumb (well, unhelpful at least) as some what she talked about, but who knows. (My philosophy was and is that if saying that stuff was actually helpful, then "depression" wouldn't be a thing.) I tried to be supportive, presumably with varying degrees of success.

In my case it seems to have a happy ending. We broke up long ago, but we've met up a couple times since, and she at least has seemed happy during those visits. I hope that your situation resolves similarly.
 
2013-05-09 08:30:44 PM  

Bathia_Mapes: caddisfly: Bathia_Mapes: Yay!

Yippee!  I've been checking her page occasionally for the past year.  The utter lack of updates was making ME depressed.  Allie is 10 kinds of awesome.

She is indeed. And I've been quite concerned about her after her last appearance and subsequent long disappearance.


Thanks!!!  FYI, I've been solely a Liter for about a decade because I've always been afraid of how much time I'm capable of devoting to Fark.  I already spend about 2-3 hours every day reading linked articles and comments (and I don't even own Photoshop).  I am so very frightened at what the next month holds in store for my already waning self-employment discipline!
 
2013-05-09 08:31:24 PM  

radarlove: mesmer242: radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?

I know someone who had the magnet thing done and it seems to have helped. They still have other issues, but the depressive component (not enjoying doing anything, withdrawing, etc.) seems to be gone.

I've been really intrigued ever since I saw Alan Alda do it for Scientific American.  I keep looking on the web to see if there are any clinical trials I can sign up for, but no luck yet.  *sigh*  Someday!

/I's po' folk, but I's can dream, yessir!


http://www.clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT01829165?term=rtms&recr=Op en &cond=%22Depression%22&rank=3
http://www.clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT01768052?term=rtms&recr=Op en &cond=%22Depression%22&rank=5
http://www.clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT01431001?term=rtms&recr=Op en &cond=%22Depression%22&rank=7
 
2013-05-09 08:33:25 PM  

Peki: radarlove: CynicalLA: radarlove: CynicalLA: Adderall is a serious drug and hopefully you are taking it for the right reasons.

lol...they're ALL serious drugs.  In fact, of the three listed Adderal isn't even the most dangerous.  Just the most abused.

I've know a few people that went from Adderall to meth.  I think Adderall is a lot more addictive than the other ones.  Speed is a helluva drug.

Like I said, it's the most abused.  But with Wellbutrin there's a fighting chance that you'll off yourself, and if you come to your senses and chuck the bottle down the toilet, there's a fighting chance that you'll die from the withdrawals anyhow.

And people wonder why I left the free mental health clinic in Los Angeles when they started that pill soup BS on me.

/I need two drugs and therapy, that's it. Seriously.
//drugs are comparatively easy to get compared to long-term therapy


Yup, same story here, with every free clinic.

"So, what antis have ya tried?"

*Reads off the list of twelve.*  "Can we maybe try something different this time please?"

"None of em worked, eh?"

"No, in fact they tended to make things much worse.  Can we please try something else now?"

"Well, of the ones that you've tried, which made you least worse?  Because I'd like to try that in conjunction with Abilify and this new tricyclic that just came out..."

Just give me a sack of Durban Poison and rap with me, ffs.
 
2013-05-09 08:33:40 PM  

radarlove: LovingTeacher:
my alt's alt's alt:
megarian:

Thanks for the input, y'all!   =)


CynicalLA: Adderall is a serious drug and hopefully you are taking it for the right reasons.

lol...they're ALL serious drugs.  In fact, of the three listed Adderal isn't even the most dangerous.  Just the most abused.


You are welcome and I am serious about contacting me at the e-mail listed in my profile for anyone here who is suffering through depression or bi-polar disorder (I've got the bi-polar but the last major episode was a tremendous depression that took me down for a couple of years). It does get better and there are places that can help both with the depression and the paying for treatment thing. you may have to get creative and you may have to look in some places you haven't thought about but it is there.
 
2013-05-09 08:34:40 PM  

CynicalLA: Adderall is a serious drug and hopefully you are taking it for the right reasons.


It's pretty messy with bupropion, too, but bupropion is the only anti-depressant that actually does anything for me and if I want to be a functional adult, I have to keep my adult ADHD controlled. One of the emotions that I am missing is satisfaction. Something about reward pathways something something.

I don't enjoy it at all and I'm trying to find a non-drug solution to improving my focus, at least, but it's difficult. I was off of it for a while, but I got a motorcycle and when I found myself going full space cadet WHILE RIDING, I reluctantly admitted to myself that being back on it was probably going to turn out better than staying off of it.

Fark the college kids who use it to cram for exams and make it harder for people with real problems to get help.
 
2013-05-09 08:35:10 PM  

megarian: radarlove: megarian: radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?

I do. I am an intern, though. What do you want to know?

Mainly, how effective is it in someone who has run the gamut of SSRIs and Tricyclics and such but for whom those only exacerbated the depression?  Also, how difficult is it to find someone qualified and reliable to do it, and can a fella like me make you, the taxpayer, foot the bill?

I wish I had a better answer:

It completely depends. As an intern, I see three things: a month or so before, the day of, and every week after until discharge. Most have wonderful results...more with the electromagnetic response than the ECT. The ECT are usually more of an overdose-of-barbiturate effect. The magnetic responses are delayed but they seems to be more long term. The ETCs are usually pretty far-gone...I would say half are catatonic before treatment. But I have seen 10 or so (out of the 30 or 40 ECTs that I have seen) make some serious, remarkable recovery. 7 that I know personally are doing very well and are actually a productive person now. The 'magnets have an even better outcome. This is not scientific, this is just what I have see. The 'magnets are doing well, but insurance is sort of a factor here. Out of the ~20 I have seen, 9 of them are extremely responsive, and 7 of them are out of inpatient care for the last 6 months when they usually go back for mental treatment within the next 2 months if discharge. The ECTs come back within a year or so. Less severe, but it happens.


just wanted to throw my 2 cents in here. my ex ended up getting ECT. after 3 suicide attempts and 4 hospitalizations in a 4 year period, her psych recommended it. i will say this to you, MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT THERE IS NOTHING ELSE LEFT UNTRIED. it turns out she was mildly bi-polar, and you DO NOT give ECT to bi-polar people. she had never been diagnosed as bi-polar, nor had it ever been on anyone's radar prior to the ECT. ended up frying out the part of her brain that dealt with her decision making. she started second guessing herself on everything. she lost her job because of this. ended up losing me as well. i stuck with her through all the bad crap, but i ended up not being able her being so irresponsible with our money. she made a couple of purchases that were right out there, even after she had lost her job and we were struggling to pay the mortgage. she is now on disability and will probably never be able to hold down a job again. and it didn't help with her depression.
 
2013-05-09 08:35:44 PM  
(((((hugs)))))) to Allie and all the farkers feeling (or more aptly not feeling) this way. 

I'm hopelessly and annoyingly upbeat and optimistic, I also have a lot of feels. But knowing this situation exists gives me a sad. 

I would share my feels if I could.
 
2013-05-09 08:35:57 PM  

LovingTeacher: I don't think that is what she said at all. The toys and bowling and dead goldfish were just analogies to help explain depression to non-depressed people. Suggesting that a new philosophy or religion will cure depression is rather insulting to the depressed person and just another form of telling them to "man up and get through it".


Not even remotely. And i wasn't drawing that conclusion from the analogies. Many spiritualities believe that the material world is pointless, and that's all i was bringing it up for. Her realizing that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I'm not even a buddhist, so don't perceive this as me trying to recruit or anything. And Christianity, along with other religions, do not share that sentiment.
 
2013-05-09 08:36:43 PM  

hawcian: MarkEC: Quantum Apostrophe: [www.tandyonline.co.uk image 492x492]

What does the most common NPN transistor in the world have to do with this thread?

I'm guessing it's a bipolar transistor?


Oh DUH!
 
2013-05-09 08:37:49 PM  

radarlove: Just give me a sack of Durban Poison and rap with me, ffs.


That strand is hard to find in Los Angeles.  One of my favorites.
 
2013-05-09 08:39:13 PM  

megarian: Well, I can but it takes like, a half an hour and an act of Congress.


My ex as like that. I learned to be very patient because of her.
 
2013-05-09 08:39:31 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Have any of you sad sacks tried manning (or womanning) up and dealing with things? Depression is like adhd, namely that its not a real thing.


I am 100% certain that if you had to spend five minutes inside my head you would be crushed into an infinitely dense point of utter blackness and despair, and then implode.

You know NOTHING. You understand NOTHING. Your opinions mean NOTHING. You goddamned ignorant bee-eating toad dropping.
 
2013-05-09 08:40:06 PM  

gglibertine: Contrabulous Flabtraption: Have any of you sad sacks tried manning (or womanning) up and dealing with things? Depression is like adhd, namely that its not a real thing.

I am 100% certain that if you had to spend five minutes inside my head you would be crushed into an infinitely dense point of utter blackness and despair, and then implode.

You know NOTHING. You understand NOTHING. Your opinions mean NOTHING. You goddamned ignorant bee-eating toad dropping.


(golf clap)
 
2013-05-09 08:41:31 PM  

megarian: CynicalLA: megarian: I don't want so sound like something I'm not. I like things about sex. I have never had an orgasm and that's not my focus. I like being physical and look at it as a sport...as in I want to make the other person have a really REALLY good time. So that's the goal and I am willing to work for it. But as far as me getting off? Not going to happen. I can do it manually but it takes a while and is not worth the effort. I like sex, though. I get a lot of information and mental pleasure through sex. I like aerobic activity.

You need to leave Detroit.

I don't mind Detroit. Maybe it's symptomatic?


I agree with CynicalLA.  Leave Detroit.
 
2013-05-09 08:41:58 PM  
It sucks to be clinically depressed, and it sucks to be AROUND someone who's clinically depressed. Things don't make sense like they're supposed to, normal interactions don't have the expected effects, and in a certain way, depression is contagious, which makes it especially difficult on the support network, when they actually can't be around a person that's depressed for long periods of time.

A lot of the strip hit a bit close to home for me. Glad that she's still around, though.
 
2013-05-09 08:42:01 PM  

Alexei Novikov: CynicalLA: Adderall is a serious drug and hopefully you are taking it for the right reasons.

It's pretty messy with bupropion, too, but bupropion is the only anti-depressant that actually does anything for me and if I want to be a functional adult, I have to keep my adult ADHD controlled. One of the emotions that I am missing is satisfaction. Something about reward pathways something something.

I don't enjoy it at all and I'm trying to find a non-drug solution to improving my focus, at least, but it's difficult. I was off of it for a while, but I got a motorcycle and when I found myself going full space cadet WHILE RIDING, I reluctantly admitted to myself that being back on it was probably going to turn out better than staying off of it.

Fark the college kids who use it to cram for exams and make it harder for people with real problems to get help.


It sounds like you have it under control.  Keep it up and I hope everything works out for you.:)
 
2013-05-09 08:43:27 PM  

LovingTeacher: You are welcome and I am serious about contacting me at the e-mail listed in my profile for anyone here who is suffering through depression or bi-polar disorder


PTSD included in that?

radarlove: Just give me a sack of Durban Poison and rap with me, ffs.


Heh. Haven't heard of that one. I prefer purps, but I use it for the sleep issues (insomnia + daily or 2x daily RISP episodes). Daily use means I don't get RISP episodes.
 
2013-05-09 08:43:29 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Have any of you sad sacks tried manning (or womanning) up and dealing with things? Depression is like adhd, namely that its not a real thing.


Have you ever tried eating a bowl of dicks?
 
2013-05-09 08:45:03 PM  

musicmanboston: megarian: radarlove: megarian: radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?

I do. I am an intern, though. What do you want to know?

Mainly, how effective is it in someone who has run the gamut of SSRIs and Tricyclics and such but for whom those only exacerbated the depression?  Also, how difficult is it to find someone qualified and reliable to do it, and can a fella like me make you, the taxpayer, foot the bill?

I wish I had a better answer:

It completely depends. As an intern, I see three things: a month or so before, the day of, and every week after until discharge. Most have wonderful results...more with the electromagnetic response than the ECT. The ECT are usually more of an overdose-of-barbiturate effect. The magnetic responses are delayed but they seems to be more long term. The ETCs are usually pretty far-gone...I would say half are catatonic before treatment. But I have seen 10 or so (out of the 30 or 40 ECTs that I have seen) make some serious, remarkable recovery. 7 that I know personally are doing very well and are actually a productive person now. The 'magnets have an even better outcome. This is not scientific, this is just what I have see. The 'magnets are doing well, but insurance is sort of a factor here. Out of the ~20 I have seen, 9 of them are extremely responsive, and 7 of them are out of inpatient care for the last 6 months when they usually go back for mental treatment within the next 2 months if discharge. The ECTs come back within a year or so. Less severe, but it happens.

just wanted to throw my 2 cents in here. my ex ended up getting ECT. after 3 suicide attempts and 4 hospitalizations in a 4 year period, her psych recommended it. i will say this to you, MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT THERE IS NOTHING ELSE LEFT UNTRIED. it turns out she was mildly bi-polar, and you DO NOT give ECT to bi-polar people. she had never been diagnosed as bi-polar, nor had it ever been on anyone's radar prior to the ECT. ended up frying out the part of her brain that dealt with her decision making. she started second guessing herself on everything. she lost her job because of this. ended up losing me as well. i stuck with her through all the bad crap, but i ended up not being able her being so irresponsible with our money. she made a couple of purchases that were right out there, even after she had lost her job and we were struggling to pay the mortgage. she is now on disability and will probably never be able to hold down a job again. and it didn't help with her depression.


This is *exactly* why I do not agree with this unless depressives are in a pretty desperate place.

And she's bipolar?!? Yikes. I'm sorry. The system failed you and yours really bad and I mean than with zero snark. It sucks. There's not a lot more I can say;
That absolutely sucks. I'm sorry. I wish I had some awesome piece of advice to offer but...fark... I found an amazing shrink that helped me. Lamical. After waaaaay too much lithium.

I'm sorry and I hope the battle is worth it it. It will be... And I don't
mean that in any weird ecard way.
 
2013-05-09 08:45:54 PM  
I think it's brilliant.  I'm Bipolar type 2 and suffer from severe, long, drawn out bouts of depression.  I've never seen anything that describes it so well.
 
2013-05-09 08:52:04 PM  

James F. Campbell: JRoo: Emotions are just roadblocks on the path to higher intelligence.

Sounds like the credo of a psychopath.


It's a cornerstone of Stoic philosophy.

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all a part of the same compost pile.

/This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time
 
2013-05-09 08:52:15 PM  
Food for thought.

Sometimes I worry that I might be depressed, sometimes I think I just have a hard time giving a shiat about stuff.  Do things matter?  Do they have to matter?  Would it make any difference if everything was pointless

Minds are weird.
 
2013-05-09 08:53:19 PM  

megarian: musicmanboston: megarian: radarlove: megarian: radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?

I do. I am an intern, though. What do you want to know?

Mainly, how effective is it in someone who has run the gamut of SSRIs and Tricyclics and such but for whom those only exacerbated the depression?  Also, how difficult is it to find someone qualified and reliable to do it, and can a fella like me make you, the taxpayer, foot the bill?

I wish I had a better answer:

It completely depends. As an intern, I see three things: a month or so before, the day of, and every week after until discharge. Most have wonderful results...more with the electromagnetic response than the ECT. The ECT are usually more of an overdose-of-barbiturate effect. The magnetic responses are delayed but they seems to be more long term. The ETCs are usually pretty far-gone...I would say half are catatonic before treatment. But I have seen 10 or so (out of the 30 or 40 ECTs that I have seen) make some serious, remarkable recovery. 7 that I know personally are doing very well and are actually a productive person now. The 'magnets have an even better outcome. This is not scientific, this is just what I have see. The 'magnets are doing well, but insurance is sort of a factor here. Out of the ~20 I have seen, 9 of them are extremely responsive, and 7 of them are out of inpatient care for the last 6 months when they usually go back for mental treatment within the next 2 months if discharge. The ECTs come back within a year or so. Less severe, but it happens.

just wanted to throw my 2 cents in here. my ex ended up getting ECT. after 3 suicide attempts and 4 hospitalizations in a 4 year period, her psych recommended it. i will say this to you, MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT THERE IS NOTHING ELSE LEFT UNTRIED. it turns out ...


Bipolarism is exceedingly difficult to diagnose correctly.  So the system not catching a mild form of it is not necessarily a case of failing her.  However, it taking four years and three suicide attempts to get any real help is a case of the system failing.
 
2013-05-09 08:54:45 PM  
This is officially my favorite fark thread EVER.  Well...minus the trolls.  For the first time since I was 21 or so I don't feel completely alone in my worldview and attitude.  SO AWESOME.
 
2013-05-09 08:56:13 PM  
I does bring back some of the bad memories of my down time. Divorce, losing a job I was at for 28 years, and a heart attack within the same month was the straw. But now I see this had to happen, I'm much better, and seem to have changed many of my bad habits, even with out realising it. Good luck everyone, I hope you all find your lonely kearnel of corn.
 
2013-05-09 08:57:44 PM  
"When I woke up from that sleep I was happier than I'd ever been." Hummer, Smashing Pumpkins

I thought of that line when I started to finally get over crippling depression in my freshman year of college. It wasn't medication or talking about it that made me get better. It was passive. One day my brain decided to show me some mercy. The evil voice in my head decided to stfu for a while.
 
2013-05-09 09:00:36 PM  

OgreMagi: megarian: musicmanboston: megarian: radarlove: megarian: radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?

I do. I am an intern, though. What do you want to know?

Mainly, how effective is it in someone who has run the gamut of SSRIs and Tricyclics and such but for whom those only exacerbated the depression?  Also, how difficult is it to find someone qualified and reliable to do it, and can a fella like me make you, the taxpayer, foot the bill?

I wish I had a better answer:

It completely depends. As an intern, I see three things: a month or so before, the day of, and every week after until discharge. Most have wonderful results...more with the electromagnetic response than the ECT. The ECT are usually more of an overdose-of-barbiturate effect. The magnetic responses are delayed but they seems to be more long term. The ETCs are usually pretty far-gone...I would say half are catatonic before treatment. But I have seen 10 or so (out of the 30 or 40 ECTs that I have seen) make some serious, remarkable recovery. 7 that I know personally are doing very well and are actually a productive person now. The 'magnets have an even better outcome. This is not scientific, this is just what I have see. The 'magnets are doing well, but insurance is sort of a factor here. Out of the ~20 I have seen, 9 of them are extremely responsive, and 7 of them are out of inpatient care for the last 6 months when they usually go back for mental treatment within the next 2 months if discharge. The ECTs come back within a year or so. Less severe, but it happens.

just wanted to throw my 2 cents in here. my ex ended up getting ECT. after 3 suicide attempts and 4 hospitalizations in a 4 year period, her psych recommended it. i will say this to you, MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT THERE IS NOTHING ELSE LEFT UNTRIED. it turns out ...

Bipolarism is exceedingly difficult to diagnose correctly.  So the system not catching a mild form of it is not necessarily a case of failing her.  However, it taking four years and three suicide attempts to get any real help is a case of the system failing.


Please understand that I REALLY appreciate comments like this and I am so happy and grateful that you said something for someone you care about. I know this is Fark and I love me some horrible, evil snark...but this is something I actually share with my research cooperatives and seriously...we have those feels (if not for ourselves, but someone extreme close) and I do everything I can to push this in my research. So honestly, thank you.
 
2013-05-09 09:01:15 PM  

MarkEC: hawcian: MarkEC: Quantum Apostrophe: [www.tandyonline.co.uk image 492x492]

What does the most common NPN transistor in the world have to do with this thread?

I'm guessing it's a bipolar transistor?

Oh DUH!


Too subtle, I guess.
 
2013-05-09 09:01:51 PM  
Also, run-on sentences are awesome. STFU.
 
2013-05-09 09:03:07 PM  

cherryl taggart: I think I'm seeing that in my house right now.  It worries me that I don't know how to help the injured parties, and I don't want to make it worse, especially after reading her reactions to well meaning idiots.

I'm scared.


Allie's right on target with how NOT to interact with someone who's suffering from severe depression.  Having been on both sides of this (my mom, who was about one step away from catatonic for years, and myself, who thankfully was never *quite* that bad), I'll add my two cents of advice.  For both me and my mom, often the most helpful thing when we were having a really bad day was just to have someone sit with us.  You don't have to deliberately make conversation, or try to distract the person, or talk through "issues" or anything like that.  Just watching a movie/TV with us, surfing the internet together, any kind of light interaction like that was immensely comforting at some deep primal level.  Luckily, my dad and my husband both kind of do this instinctively.  I didn't - I couldn't figure out how to relate to my mom during her bad periods, and it wasn't until I came down with the same thing that I really understood how to help her.  Admittedly, since my mom and I both have bipolar II, our bad days tend to be more unexplainable crying jags and suicidal thoughts, so it may be a little different from what you're seeing in your family member.  But I figured I'd share my coping strategy just in case.

As long as I'm on an anecdote roll, I can add my mom's experience to radarlove's question about ECT.  After going through every antidepressant, antipsychotic, and mood stabilizer in the book (and oodles of combinations of them), my mom was still essentially non-functional, so they sent her in for a series of ECT treatments.  They seemed to work pretty well on her.  It certainly didn't cure her, and she's still on a cocktail of about six meds, but the ECT did seem to provide kind of a kick-start to push her brain into a space where the meds could start to work.  She did have memory loss, though.  Some of it was probably a blessing (she says she doesn't really remember her worst periods), some of it weirdly sporadic (we're still finding random events from the past that she doesn't recall), and some of it really obnoxious (she would go out to the same grocery store she's gone to for 25 years and not remember where the house was located so she could get home).  YMMV, of course, but her experience seems to be fairly common.
 
2013-05-09 09:09:03 PM  
dat biatch sound cray
 
2013-05-09 09:09:21 PM  
Repressing your feelings because youve been made to feel ashamed when showing them... Not good, either. I cant ever show anger or that i am upset or peeved, "Hes going to kill me" my mother said. I was 12. Im 27 now. Dont dare really let much through. Too... Much everything. I have them, but...

At least my daily panic attacks stopped. Theres that. And i dont see the world as a pointless wasteland, just my future.
 
2013-05-09 09:09:25 PM  

Ethertap: I vividly remember getting my rage back.  All I did when I was depressed was sleep, everything else was just a fuzzy blob of people I had to interact with.  I was trying to sleep one night, I was desperate for sleep, since I'd been taken to a party the night before which turned into me driving people all over the place (airport etc...) and not sleeping for about 35 hours.  My roommates/friends were in the living room playing Mario party and every time i thought I was getting close to falling asleep they would make a noise that snapped me out of it.  I eventually raged out and burst out of my room screaming gibberish and ranting.

The next day I think I cried for about 10 hours straight thinking that I had just ruined my friendships (I had) and my life and just totally hating myself.  I took a day or two for me to fully realize that even though it was pretty negative, I was actually caring enough about something to be angry and upset about it, something I hadn't been able to do for a year and a half.

The thing that got me back on track was, oddly enough, getting a job a few weeks later - I latched onto it as a sense of purpose and a reason to care about something.  I burned myself out at work pretty quickly but it got me started back on the right track.

I have not felt truly depressed (I still get blue sometimes) in years but was always worried that it was right there, waiting to snatch me up again, when I fell in love with someone.  I didn't work out (unrequited) but loving someone was something I didn't even know I was capable of until it happened.

I've been pretty happy the last three years, managed to finish up a degree, get a career, and really start my life back up.  I know that my story is pretty tame compared to what many depression sufferers have gone through, but I kind of feel compelled to tell it.


Welcome back to the land of the living.  I'm glad you got better.

Oh, and I don't think much of your "friends" who would stop being friends with you just because you had one rage burst.  Especially when they were keeping you up when you were trying to sleep.

/Unless you hurt them physically or something.
 
2013-05-09 09:13:10 PM  

megarian: OgreMagi: megarian: musicmanboston: megarian: radarlove: megarian: radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?

I do. I am an intern, though. What do you want to know?

Mainly, how effective is it in someone who has run the gamut of SSRIs and Tricyclics and such but for whom those only exacerbated the depression?  Also, how difficult is it to find someone qualified and reliable to do it, and can a fella like me make you, the taxpayer, foot the bill?

I wish I had a better answer:

It completely depends. As an intern, I see three things: a month or so before, the day of, and every week after until discharge. Most have wonderful results...more with the electromagnetic response than the ECT. The ECT are usually more of an overdose-of-barbiturate effect. The magnetic responses are delayed but they seems to be more long term. The ETCs are usually pretty far-gone...I would say half are catatonic before treatment. But I have seen 10 or so (out of the 30 or 40 ECTs that I have seen) make some serious, remarkable recovery. 7 that I know personally are doing very well and are actually a productive person now. The 'magnets have an even better outcome. This is not scientific, this is just what I have see. The 'magnets are doing well, but insurance is sort of a factor here. Out of the ~20 I have seen, 9 of them are extremely responsive, and 7 of them are out of inpatient care for the last 6 months when they usually go back for mental treatment within the next 2 months if discharge. The ECTs come back within a year or so. Less severe, but it happens.

just wanted to throw my 2 cents in here. my ex ended up getting ECT. after 3 suicide attempts and 4 hospitalizations in a 4 year period, her psych recommended it. i will say this to you, MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT THERE IS NOTHING ELSE LEFT UN ...


Are you trying to ruin my "asshole" reputation?  Stop that.

And you're still hot, even if you are crazy.  :D

/or is that you're hot because you are crazy?
//with me, it's hard to know
 
2013-05-09 09:13:16 PM  

Dinobot: Elandriel: Woo! My first green. :D

This is one of her heavier pieces but most of her other posts are absolutely hilarious. Much advised.

Honestly I don't care if she's "back" or not, just that she is okay. She disappeared fairly abruptly when she became depressed.

I noticed Boyfriend is not mentioned at all on this post nor the previous depression one.


There's a picture of him in this one. He found her crying on the floor before she found the corn.
 
2013-05-09 09:13:36 PM  
Wow being depressed sounds shiatty
 
2013-05-09 09:18:26 PM  
To support the fish analogy, in response to her, "my fish are dead." I'd offer: "yeah, my fish seem like they die sometimes too.  That's OK. You're OK. Lets go do some other things for awhile and check on your fish later. Maybe they're not dead."

/Get involved with something important in your life and you'll start to give a shait.
//and don't underestimate good therapy
 
2013-05-09 09:19:28 PM  

huntercr: To support the fish analogy, in response to her, "my fish are dead." I'd offer: "yeah, my fish seem like they die sometimes too.  That's OK. You're OK. Lets go do some other things for awhile and check on your fish later. Maybe they're not dead."

/Get involved with something important in your life and you'll start to give a shait.
//and don't underestimate good therapy


*bookmarks this for her fiancé for future reference*
 
2013-05-09 09:21:29 PM  

OgreMagi: megarian: OgreMagi: megarian: musicmanboston: megarian: radarlove: megarian: radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?

I do. I am an intern, though. What do you want to know?

Mainly, how effective is it in someone who has run the gamut of SSRIs and Tricyclics and such but for whom those only exacerbated the depression?  Also, how difficult is it to find someone qualified and reliable to do it, and can a fella like me make you, the taxpayer, foot the bill?

I wish I had a better answer:

It completely depends. As an intern, I see three things: a month or so before, the day of, and every week after until discharge. Most have wonderful results...more with the electromagnetic response than the ECT. The ECT are usually more of an overdose-of-barbiturate effect. The magnetic responses are delayed but they seems to be more long term. The ETCs are usually pretty far-gone...I would say half are catatonic before treatment. But I have seen 10 or so (out of the 30 or 40 ECTs that I have seen) make some serious, remarkable recovery. 7 that I know personally are doing very well and are actually a productive person now. The 'magnets have an even better outcome. This is not scientific, this is just what I have see. The 'magnets are doing well, but insurance is sort of a factor here. Out of the ~20 I have seen, 9 of them are extremely responsive, and 7 of them are out of inpatient care for the last 6 months when they usually go back for mental treatment within the next 2 months if discharge. The ECTs come back within a year or so. Less severe, but it happens.

just wanted to throw my 2 cents in here. my ex ended up getting ECT. after 3 suicide attempts and 4 hospitalizations in a 4 year period, her psych recommended it. i will say this to you, MAKE ABSOLUTELY SURE THAT THERE IS NOTHING ELSE LEFT UN ...

Are you trying to ruin my "asshole" reputation?  Stop that.

And you're still hot, even if you are crazy.  :D

/or is that you're hot because you are crazy?
//with me, it's hard to know


I am absolutely batshiat crazy. Not
directed at others, though.

So yaaaaaaay!!!!!

It IS hard to know. I love me some crazy chicks. LOVE. All naked and crazy...with the weird requests...and yeah, I'll kiss you and then...wait...oh crap, there's people here.
 
2013-05-09 09:22:09 PM  
Would this be a good thread to mention that I started watching "Hannibal" a couple of weeks ago and Dr. Lecter on the show reminds me very strongly of my old psychiatrist?
 
2013-05-09 09:22:56 PM  

Elandriel: Woo! My first green. :D

This is one of her heavier pieces but most of her other posts are absolutely hilarious. Much advised.

Honestly I don't care if she's "back" or not, just that she is okay. She disappeared fairly abruptly when she became depressed.


Thank you very much. It is brilliant.
 
2013-05-09 09:23:29 PM  

huntercr: To support the fish analogy, in response to her, "my fish are dead." I'd offer: "yeah, my fish seem like they die sometimes too.  That's OK. You're OK. Lets go do some other things for awhile and check on your fish later. Maybe they're not dead."

/Get involved with something important in your life and you'll start to give a shait.
//and don't underestimate good therapy


It's a good point, but sometimes it sneaks up on you.

It's not like a traumatic experience happens. It's just a very gradual deadening and by the time you realize that "your fish are dead", you are too far in the hole.

Perhaps they are pining for the fijords? You want to turn away, because you know something is not right, but it all would take so much effort,
 
2013-05-09 09:25:01 PM  
She should of tried pot.
 
2013-05-09 09:25:10 PM  

SnakeLee: Wow being depressed sounds shiatty


Yep.

Imagine going through life, knowing with complete certainty that you're a worthless sack of trash, and everything you have ever done, or ever will do, is crap and a waste of time, and the world would be a better place without you.

And nothing can convince you otherwise.
 
2013-05-09 09:25:24 PM  

huntercr: To support the fish analogy, in response to her, "my fish are dead." I'd offer: "yeah, my fish seem like they die sometimes too.  That's OK. You're OK. Lets go do some other things for awhile and check on your fish later. Maybe they're not dead."

/Get involved with something important in your life and you'll start to give a shait.
//and don't underestimate good therapy


So very true.  I was likely depressed in a clinical sense some months ago, quit a shiatty job, new job fell through, got completely strung along and promptly dropped by a girl that I devoted WAY too much emotion into, etc.  Anyway, it all came down on me in a few short weeks and left me numb to the world.  However, I got back into school, and a few weeks later, life was back to normal.  Or as normal as it's ever really been for me...
 
2013-05-09 09:27:01 PM  
My depression has been going strong for 32 years now. There's been the occasional brief respite, and I have this vague sense that it felt really amazing, but I can't really *remember* how it felt. I've tried everything insurance would cover, spent 25 years in therapy, driven away lovers and friends, lost jobs, and finally settled on a tiny, proscribed, empty existence in which the only bright spots are my cat, the occasional good meal when I feel up to cooking, and the time I spend in a virtual world where my life revolves around music and kinky sex.

When I think about maybe trying harder, maybe making one more push to try to dig out of this quicksand, I remember the friend of a friend who, having exhausted all other options, had a vagus nerve stimulator implanted in her body. It didn't help. A couple of years later, she drank a bottle of bleach.

It didn't kill her. It just destroyed her health, gave her husband an excuse to take away her kids in the divorce, and made her life even more miserable.

This life... it's tolerable. I've long since given up on wanting more; all I want is to be left alone to manage what little enjoyment I can wring out of the few things I have the energy for. It's fine as long as I don't think about it too much. I expect I can go on this way indefinitely. And at least I'm not dragging anyone else down with me anymore.
 
2013-05-09 09:29:03 PM  
rustypouch:
Imagine going through life, knowing with complete certainty that you're a worthless sack of trash, and everything you have ever done, or ever will do, is crap and a waste of time, and the world would be a better place without you.

And nothing can convince you otherwise.


So, basically any day of my life...
 
2013-05-09 09:29:47 PM  
The emotionless issues that everyone is  talking about is quite frankly something that has been with me for my whole life. I have never cried over someone dying, and have always had the thought she has on her blog "uh oh...sad face sad face". I've sometimes thought that I was just a cold-hearted bastard.
 
2013-05-09 09:31:06 PM  
I am old enough to remember my first color tv (monsterous thing in a wooden cabinet that sat right on the floor) and how FREAKIN' AWESOME it was to watch shows in color. Then the set got old, and the color tube started to go. The TV would blink from color back to black and white. When this first happened, you could give it a little whack or stomp on the floor in front of it and get the color back on. The older it got, though, the harder you had to whack it or stomp to get the color back on again. Before it died, we were picking up the heavy cube hassock and throwing it down in front of the set as hard as we could. Sometimes that worked and sometimes it didn't.

It was still the same shows. But without the color, it wasn't the same experience. All the shows were meh. Like going through the motions. Why bother.

That's been it for me. Black and white living. Not severe enough for a corn moment, thank FSM, but enough so that I don't call my friends or family if I can possibly avoid it because I don't want them to notice that I am currently in black and white and have absolutelty nothing to contribute to their world of color and am too tired to fake it so that they won't notice how black and white and boring and dumb and dull I am and stop wanting to have anything to do with me which is why I can't have anything to do with them but they have pretty much stopped calling me so I guess they noticed anyway.

Other than that, I'm good.
 
2013-05-09 09:31:21 PM  

MarkEC: The emotionless issues that everyone is  talking about is quite frankly something that has been with me for my whole life. I have never cried over someone dying, and have always had the thought she has on her blog "uh oh...sad face sad face". I've sometimes thought that I was just a cold-hearted bastard.


Cheer up. You're probably just a sociopath.
 
2013-05-09 09:33:23 PM  
megarian: I found an amazing shrink that helped me. Lamical. After waaaaay too much lithium.

Lamictal is wonderful stuff, isn't it? (Especially compared to lithium.)

And for everyone who's complaining about SSRIs, I hear ya.  Sexual side effects were bad enough, but it was the emotional blunting that finally did it for me.  I was on them for years, and since they had rescued me from such a bad place, I never quite noticed that I just thought feelings and didn't feel feelings anymore.  It wasn't until I went off antidepressants that I realized I was having these strange new things called emotions that I had pretty much forgotten about.  Hell, I had feelings for my fiance that I didn't realize I had.  After about three months when my brain started to implode again, there was no way I was going back on those things.  The upshot of this CSB is that if you're unhappy with SSRIs, it might be worth talking to your doctor about trying a tricyclic antidepressant.  SSRIs became all the rage because unlike the older tricyclics, it's very difficult to take a lethal overdose (and when you're dealing with a patient population that's prone to suicide, this is understandably kind of a concern).  However, they are no more effective than the tricyclics when it comes to the likelihood of responding to the drug.  SSRIs have pretty universal side effects -- practically everyone can kiss orgasms goodbye,  practically everyone packs on pounds, etc.  The tricyclics are much more variable in their side effect profile, and there are many people (like me) who have essentially no side effects at all.  Everyone's genetic mileage definitely varies, but imipramine instead of Lexapro has been a marriage-saver for me.
 
2013-05-09 09:36:56 PM  
Internet fist bump for my heavily depressed internet homies.

*Fistbump*
 
2013-05-09 09:38:35 PM  
That shiat's going on with me, mildly.

I get counseling, I get anger management, a few meds that work well enough to keep me from blowing up the farking 'hood, and to top it off, all this dandy claptrap un-spikes my blood pressure
so I'll never EVER need to worry about retina explosions again. I had that happen once during a severe fit of rage and it spooked the SH*T out of me.

F*cking eyeball jellyfish.

But now I have a friend halfway around this gods damn planet who's getting hit with this far FAR worse than I ever got hit, and there is NOT A DAMN THING I CAN DO TO HELP.

I would walk through fire for this friend of mine if only it would do some gods damn good!!

It is so frustrating seeing it all happen all over AGAIN to my buddy, and at such an idiotic distance!!
 
2013-05-09 09:39:48 PM  
Commencing scan of everything, Captain.

static.rcgroups.net

Scan complete. The situation is indeed hopeless.
 
2013-05-09 09:39:58 PM  

gglibertine: MarkEC: The emotionless issues that everyone is  talking about is quite frankly something that has been with me for my whole life. I have never cried over someone dying, and have always had the thought she has on her blog "uh oh...sad face sad face". I've sometimes thought that I was just a cold-hearted bastard.

Cheer up. You're probably just a sociopath.


No, I'm more of a Vulcan. I have feelings, you just can't hurt them.
 
2013-05-09 09:41:02 PM  

MarkEC: gglibertine: MarkEC: The emotionless issues that everyone is  talking about is quite frankly something that has been with me for my whole life. I have never cried over someone dying, and have always had the thought she has on her blog "uh oh...sad face sad face". I've sometimes thought that I was just a cold-hearted bastard.

Cheer up. You're probably just a sociopath.

No, I'm more of a Vulcan. I have feelings, you just can't hurt them.


You lucky, lucky bastard.
 
2013-05-09 09:45:01 PM  
I've dealt with depression for a significant portion of all of my adult life, and I've found that alcohol, a sense of humor, and unbridled hatred for everyone and everything can make life worthwhile.
 
2013-05-09 09:46:15 PM  
"No, see, I don't necessarily want to KILL myself...I just want to become dead somehow."

Nailed it.
 
2013-05-09 09:48:01 PM  

AGremlin: If you understand and/or identify with this comic, you are depressed or at some time in your life have been depressed or have empathy

If you don't understand it, you're lucky.


FTFY
 
2013-05-09 09:49:14 PM  

God-is-a-Taco: J. Frank Parnell: Should have embraced buddhism or some other philosophy when she was having the existential breakdown about everything being pointless...

Oh ffs, don't even start with this. This isn't the thread for proselytizing.


You don't see a lot of proselytizing Buddhists though, that's kind of remarkable.
 
2013-05-09 09:52:16 PM  
Glad she's back. I feel like I really understand the comic and that I've gone through some of this. My thing is is that I can't really do "genuine happy" (if that makes any sense) around other people. It's really hard to get out of bed most days but if I'm home I'm fine. I'm mostly a solitary person and I can laugh and be kinda happy by myself. That's what makes me feel like maybe I'm not all that depressed. When I have to get up to go to work,I try to work myself up and get mad. That gets me through the day, it's like my edge. If I don't and don't really feel (again, hard to explain), it's like little shiat can just destroy me and I wind up having breakdowns.

Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.

I can't talk to anybody. I don't want to talk to anybody. It's like people are just invading my personal space no matter how much I'm willing to defer to them to just leave me be.

Sorry just thought this was a appropriate spot to rant a bit. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.
 
2013-05-09 09:52:25 PM  

megarian: I am absolutely batshiat crazy. Not
directed at others, though.

So yaaaaaaay!!!!!

It IS hard to know. I love me some crazy chicks. LOVE. All naked and crazy...with the weird requests...and yeah, I'll kiss you and then...wait...oh crap, there's people here.



Interesting, interesting indeed, and here I've always been the crazy one in my relationships, and I generally go for the sane girls.
/Maybe that's why I'm single now.
 
2013-05-09 09:52:46 PM  
I have never heard of this blog or this lady before today but apparently she's in my head because http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-b e -adult.html is my life.
 
2013-05-09 09:52:49 PM  

gglibertine: MarkEC: gglibertine: MarkEC: The emotionless issues that everyone is  talking about is quite frankly something that has been with me for my whole life. I have never cried over someone dying, and have always had the thought she has on her blog "uh oh...sad face sad face". I've sometimes thought that I was just a cold-hearted bastard.

Cheer up. You're probably just a sociopath.

No, I'm more of a Vulcan. I have feelings, you just can't hurt them.

You lucky, lucky bastard.


Maybe, but it's also a 2 edge sword. I might keep on an even keel through my life and not let bad things bother me, but I also miss out on a lot of the good feelings. I've been married for 29 years and can't really say I've felt love like most people, it's more like compatibility to me.
 
2013-05-09 09:54:25 PM  

Kittypie070: That shiat's going on with me, mildly.

I get counseling, I get anger management, a few meds that work well enough to keep me from blowing up the farking 'hood, and to top it off, all this dandy claptrap un-spikes my blood pressure
so I'll never EVER need to worry about retina explosions again. I had that happen once during a severe fit of rage and it spooked the SH*T out of me.

F*cking eyeball jellyfish.

But now I have a friend halfway around this gods damn planet who's getting hit with this far FAR worse than I ever got hit, and there is NOT A DAMN THING I CAN DO TO HELP.

I would walk through fire for this friend of mine if only it would do some gods damn good!!

It is so frustrating seeing it all happen all over AGAIN to my buddy, and at such an idiotic distance!!


Sorry about your friend and retina explosions don't sound fun or like a good thing.
 
2013-05-09 09:54:50 PM  

megarian: Posted this to my Facebook this morning.

So disturbing/funny/accurate.


Ditto. Well, this afternoon.
 
2013-05-09 09:55:25 PM  

Boris S. Wort: Food for thought.

Sometimes I worry that I might be depressed, sometimes I think I just have a hard time giving a shiat about stuff.  Do things matter?  Do they have to matter?  Would it make any difference if everything was pointless

Minds are weird.


Everything just is what it is. Not pointless, not meaningful. Everything that happens is a result of other things that happen. Everything that is happening now is the accumulation of everything that has ever happened. Nothing more or less.

It just is what it is. (My husband despises that saying but I think it's profound).
 
2013-05-09 09:56:28 PM  

oMaJoJ: Glad she's back. I feel like I really understand the comic and that I've gone through some of this. My thing is is that I can't really do "genuine happy" (if that makes any sense) around other people. It's really hard to get out of bed most days but if I'm home I'm fine. I'm mostly a solitary person and I can laugh and be kinda happy by myself. That's what makes me feel like maybe I'm not all that depressed. When I have to get up to go to work,I try to work myself up and get mad. That gets me through the day, it's like my edge. If I don't and don't really feel (again, hard to explain), it's like little shiat can just destroy me and I wind up having breakdowns.

Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.

I can't talk to anybody. I don't want to talk to anybody. It's like people are just invading my personal space no matter how much I'm willing to defer to them to just leave me be.

Sorry just thought this was a appropriate spot to rant a bit. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.


Hell yes. That sounds pretty much spot on. I social much better with a few glasses of self medication cabernet in me. Which I am trying to avoid, because my family tree is pretty much made out of E&J Gallo bottles and Schlitz cans.
 
2013-05-09 09:59:10 PM  

Kittypie070: a few meds that work well enough to keep me from blowing up the farking 'hood, and to top it off, all this dandy claptrap un-spikes my blood pressure


Beta blocker?
 
2013-05-09 10:00:18 PM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: megarian: I am absolutely batshiat crazy. Not
directed at others, though.

So yaaaaaaay!!!!!

It IS hard to know. I love me some crazy chicks. LOVE. All naked and crazy...with the weird requests...and yeah, I'll kiss you and then...wait...oh crap, there's people here.


Interesting, interesting indeed, and here I've always been the crazy one in my relationships, and I generally go for the sane girls.
/Maybe that's why I'm single now.


/ A match made in heaven?
// Would like to be a fly on that wall.
 
2013-05-09 10:01:24 PM  

oMaJoJ: Glad she's back. I feel like I really understand the comic and that I've gone through some of this. My thing is is that I can't really do "genuine happy" (if that makes any sense) around other people. It's really hard to get out of bed most days but if I'm home I'm fine. I'm mostly a solitary person and I can laugh and be kinda happy by myself. That's what makes me feel like maybe I'm not all that depressed. When I have to get up to go to work,I try to work myself up and get mad. That gets me through the day, it's like my edge. If I don't and don't really feel (again, hard to explain), it's like little shiat can just destroy me and I wind up having breakdowns.

Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.

I can't talk to anybody. I don't want to talk to anybody. It's like people are just invading my personal space no matter how much I'm willing to defer to them to just leave me be.

Sorry just thought this was a appropriate spot to rant a bit. Sorry if it doesn't make sense.


anxiety and depression very commonly go together.  I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder (exactly what it sounds like) and depression at the same time.

Also, just putting it out there... sounds like your job may not be the right one for you.  I know the economy is not the best for finding new jobs, but maybe you can find one that doesn't force to you deal with everyone else's petty problems
 
2013-05-09 10:02:34 PM  

Peki: *bookmarks this for her fiancé for future reference*


You've got mail.
 
2013-05-09 10:03:11 PM  

oMaJoJ: Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety.


Yes. And then they can feed into each other in this massive BS explosion of complete inability to do anything.

/maybe that's what's wrong with me? My life sucks, but holy fark the thought of doing what needs to be done to fix it ties my stomach in knots so bad I want to throw up half the time. Not to mention the fact that every time I have tried, physical or emotional pain has resulted (one lost job was because a double-homicide closed the store, another because I blew out my knee and was a passenger in a car crash a month later, and oh man is there more to that. . . )
//same with therapy. I lived that shiat once. I know I need to do it again so I can get past it, but trust me, if you were in my boat, you wouldn't rush headlong into that either
///swapped stories with a POW once. He bought me a drink and said, "You're probably the only civilian who is even close to getting it."
 
2013-05-09 10:06:15 PM  
The anxiety often shows up as hypochondria for me. Off and on, I am dying of farking ALL THE DISEASES!
 
2013-05-09 10:06:26 PM  
I have never seen this woman's work before. I am very impressed, she has open wounds and has the courage to show them. She also has a clear, insightful way to communicate her feelings.

Megarian--Some credit to you too for some very open posts.
A bit of my experience: I had a girl friend who could not get off except with a vibrator. She liked pleasing me but for whatever reason what I did was not intense enough. We added in the vibrator, that worked, she said it made it much more intense than normal for her. [Had to get a quieter version though for my benefit, I felt like I was in bed with a hive of bees.] Might be good for you to find a lover you can relate your problems to and is open to some less conventional solutions.
 
2013-05-09 10:07:04 PM  

Gonz: Peki: *bookmarks this for her fiancé for future reference*

You've got mail.


Noted.

Thanks to both of you. Nice to know there are some decent Farkers out there in the world.

/off to choir, so I'll be out for a little bit, but I'll check back in.
 
2013-05-09 10:11:05 PM  
Interesting piece.

I got the majority of it, but then again, I'm a bipolar depressive. Been there. Done that. Still do. Been in therapy and on meds since around 1997.

I was interested to see she pointed out the sudden loss of empathy for basically everyone and everything. That's a biatch for any family members to understand -- especially if, like me, you were the problem solver. She was right on with the explaining oneself to others, basically to prepare them for when you don't act right or normal or how you used to. After a time, you suddenly realize that either they don't give a shiat or don't want to grasp the concept and you're reduced to just a 'selfish f**k' in their eyes.

I went from a staunch supporter of (lost) causes and a Righter Of Wrongs to either not giving a shiat or feeling that getting all fired up about it would get me nowhere since no one was listening anyhow. Sometimes, I just didn't want the conflict.

Then, your sense of self becomes all foggy. Maybe you weren't the nice guy you thought you were. Especially since your closest friends of years one by one vanished, and you know it was because you pulled into yourself, but you gave them warning about changes to come. After a time, you wonder if anyone cared about you as you did for them.

Then, you decide they didn't.

Then comes the paranoia, the skepticism and you start to realize that the idea of everyone having a bit of good in them is really bullshiat. If they do, then they extend it to everyone else.

Just not you.

I think the episodes of Deep, Black Depression are the hardest. You don't want to do anything. Nothing makes you feel good. Then you get anxious and can't figure out why. You'll lay in bed all day and all night. Maybe you'll eat and maybe you wont. Minor problems suddenly seem mountainous. Writing a check for the rent can become nearly impossible.

Suicide becomes more and more attractive. It's a bit worse if, like me, you worked in psychiatrics and understand what's happening but are powerless to make things better.

See, you're fighting yourself and no one knows how to get to you better than yourself.

BTW. You sexual desires will come and go. Mostly go. One month you can be randy as heck -- but no girl friends come around anymore. The next you couldn't get it up unless you used viagra and a splint, but that's OK, because the women you know take too much effort to please anyhow and they tend to get all irritated when you've burned off the hormones and basically want them to just leave.

They don't grasp the concept of agoraphobia, which you'll develop, meaning you can't stand being around folks for too long. You understand their feelings, but by then, you're real tired of having to understand everything when it seems no one understands anything about you.

You may develop obsessive compulsive disorder, which is a little slice of hell. It can be controlled with effort and medication and mostly go away, but now and then, if stressed, it might slip back a bit.

Think trying to leave your house to keep an appointment, BUT some overwhelming urge makes you check the light switches in the house to make sure everything is off -- again and again and again -- at the same time the sane part of your brain is screaming at you that THEY'RE OFF and you're going to be late, but a sense of impending disaster makes you keep on checking them. By the time you do pry yourself out -- having to check that the door is locked 16 times -- you're going to be late and that anxiety combines with the anxiety of having to check the light switches.

It can make leaving home a bit interesting. Then, you wind up angry and scared at yourself for not being able to stop such a crazy and stupid activity.

Remember the TV series 'Monk'? The Obsessive Compulsive Detective? Well, they almost got it right.
And all of this feeds back into your depression.

Things you used to love to do, well, they aint so much fun anymore. Blue skies turn gray. Even the Goths and Emo kids would run from what goes on in your head.

Now, for me, there used to be periods of mania, where I could be super high and work all day and all night. It was a GREAT feeling -- except various forms of work which required care tended to get screwed up. Like, I might decide to paint my living room in the middle of the night, get it halfway done and decide that cleaning out my cluttered work room is more important.

Several times I had to force myself to NOT cut the grass after midnight, knowing the neighbors would call the cops. In the place I rented at the time, the land lord got a whole bunch of repairs for free when I was manic.

My medication eventually knocked out the majority of the manic episodes. I miss them. They were fun. Now, my life mainly runs like a straight line, with dips into darker depression. No glorious highs.

Still, therapy and medications have helped. Then again, the life situation I'm in hasn't helped. I'm on disability, meaning a very limited income. I had to move back into my parental home because the rents around here made it impossible for me to live alone and do things like eat. Then my elderly Mother became disabled and now, out of all of my siblings, I take care of her 24/7.

She wears diapers. She can't change them. Guess who does? Plus cleans her up and does everything else necessary. That includes arguing with her physicians, handling the major amount of medications she has to take and freakin BEGGING for help from my brothers and sister.

I never was good at begging.

So, depression in any of it's forms is NOT nice. It is curable, if you catch it in time, if you get the proper help, if you have the support of friends and family and you can lower your stress levels.

A lobotomy works, but there are some unfortunate side effects with that. Electro shock therapy has been known to work, but there's a few side effects with that also. Your best chance is with good insurance so you can see a private therapist and afford top notch medications.

Disability sends me to a clinic, where the budget cuts have kept cutting back the therapists and I'm on Medicare part D, which limits the medication I can take.

Cymbalta, the stuff on TV with that depressed woman being followed around by a cartoon depression blob, is hideously expensive. My plan covers 80%. My co-pay with that stuff, per refill, would be $95.00. My co-pay with Zoloft is $8.00.

Suicide still lurks in the back of my head, but I have a job to do. My Mom is 85. I doubt if she'll make 90. When she goes, my job will be done. After she goes, I inherit everything. (She's noticed the reluctance of my siblings to help me out with her.)

It aint much, but it's something. After all, the house is paid for and the taxes on it are low. I'm already on the deed so they'll not jump when I get the place.

Taking care of her is a lot of work. When the 'job' ends, stress may drop but there will be grief, because I love my mom.

For now, I exist. If you have depressed friends, pay attention. That goes for family members also. Don't get your butt all packed up around your shoulders when they stop acting 'normal' and turn apparently uncaring and sulky. Expect rapid mood changes. Expect them to turn into slobs. (Keeping a clean home becomes nearly an insurmountable task. The energy just is no longer there.)

Even dropping in and cutting their lawn or doing their dishes can help a lot. Even if they try and avoid you. Especially if they live alone. Fixing something broken can help, even if you know they can easily fix it themselves -- but they no longer have the energy to do so.

Depression is frustrating for everyone involved. It's not a case of the normal 'blues'. Most depressives will not try and explain to you what's going on because they don't know either.

Ironically, years ago, I used to help treat depressives.

Now, I get to look at it from their eyes.

Apologies for the length.
 
2013-05-09 10:13:19 PM  
suffering from depression is a phobia of mine.  i've never been depressed, but every once and awhile i'll have a crummy day or i'll be bored and not want to do anything, or i'll just feel negative about myself, and i'll start to panic and think "oh no i think i might have depression!" and i'll seriously start to worry about it.  but then i'll feel fine the next day and everything is back to normal.  i feel like i'm always just on the edge of having depression and it scares the hell out of me.
 
2013-05-09 10:16:35 PM  

Spadababababababa Spadina Bus: I LOVE THIS ALOT


This one?

4.bp.blogspot.com

...or this one?

3.bp.blogspot.com

This?

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-05-09 10:17:05 PM  

oMaJoJ: Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.


I have this, and anxiety-based disorders (social anxiety, agoraphobia, OCD, hoarding, etc) are all about desensitizing yourself to the anxiety.  It's a lot like being a duck in a freezing pond. The more you swim and the more you push through your anxiety, the bigger your world is.  But if you give up and avoid what makes you anxious, your entire world freezes around you until you're almost literally stuck in a little patch frozen by fear.  It's a constant struggle and a tough way to live. I haven't tried anti-anxiety medication as my condition is mild enough that I'm still functional, but it comes up at the oddest times.  I have a hard time meeting people for the first time.  Once I meet them, I'm fine. But while they're an "unknown quantity", I'm scared to put myself out there.  I just put on my best smile (my coping mechanism of choice) and charge ahead...most of the time.
 
2013-05-09 10:18:28 PM  

Alexei Novikov: I'm glad to see Allie back. Whenever I need to smile at something, her amusing posts tickle my funny bone. Been struggling with clinical depression for a pretty long time myself. Mine is incredibly frustrating to me because it's just bad enough to cripple me sometimes and yet, it was too easy to justify not getting help. Yeah, yeah, cool story bro, etc.

Tricyclics and SSRIs SUCK.

/on Wellbutrin
//and Adderall
///Ativan for panic attacks
////slashies!


SSRIs do suck - big time. It's even less fun when you can no longer afford insurance and find out that EffexorXR costs $350 per month.

/ that's nearly 3x my food budget
// cold turkey, it's not just for sandwiches
 
2013-05-09 10:19:49 PM  

Peki: oMaJoJ: Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety.

Yes. And then they can feed into each other in this massive BS explosion of complete inability to do anything.

/maybe that's what's wrong with me? My life sucks, but holy fark the thought of doing what needs to be done to fix it ties my stomach in knots so bad I want to throw up half the time. Not to mention the fact that every time I have tried, physical or emotional pain has resulted (one lost job was because a double-homicide closed the store, another because I blew out my knee and was a passenger in a car crash a month later, and oh man is there more to that. . . )
//same with therapy. I lived that shiat once. I know I need to do it again so I can get past it, but trust me, if you were in my boat, you wouldn't rush headlong into that either
///swapped stories with a POW once. He bought me a drink and said, "You're probably the only civilian who is even close to getting it."


Yea, the anxiety feeds the depression it seems at times. I generally know I'm heading into a depression when my anxiety and irritability start up bad.

Oh and check for small private therapists. Mine is great and worked a lower rate for me when I lost my insurance. She doesn't even have a receptionist so it saves her a lot of time filling claims. Anyway best of luck I know it's not easy.
 
2013-05-09 10:20:53 PM  
Creativity is a double edged sword. The hard wiring in your brain that makes you creative also makes you very susceptible to depression. It's the cross creative people just have to bear. I've been depressed since childhood. I've found that St. John's Wort keeps the blackest moods at bay, with only a little hit to my libido.

I bear my cross like a badge of honor. I've invented lots of things, got patents, been complimented on my writing skills, can make people laugh enough for them to seek out my company, even tho I'm weird as hell.

I understand that my feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness DO NOT reflect reality, merely a malfunction in my brain wiring. The Matrix movies sort of clarified that for me. Our perceptions of the world around us are the product of our brains creating our consciousness. Once you understand the processing malfunction is creating the feelings, and not actual facts, it becomes easier to fight off those feelings.

I chug along, like a farm laborer hoeing an endless field, and occasionally a little nugget of happiness or satisfaction turns up and I enjoy it, until the feeling fades and I go back to the dull existence of endlessly hoeing, in hopes of another nugget showing up. My pets help a lot. Keeping other people at arm's length helps, since it avoids potential hurt and angst.

I watch other people leading happy, satisfying lives and wonder how it feels, much like someone born with just one arm watches other people clap. I didn't create this depression, I was born to it. I've learned to live with it, just like the one armed man. I don't fear suicide, I see it as a last resort, like a test pilot being comforted by having an ejection seat to use if it becomes necessary.
 
2013-05-09 10:21:35 PM  
At first I was like this chic just never learned to play and have fun in here head without props (toys). But I kept reading think what crap then I thought wow she really is kinda making me get what it is like to be depressed holly fark that shiat sucks! Hope she keeps that corn kernel forever!
 
2013-05-09 10:26:37 PM  

Ambivalence: oMaJoJ: Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.

I have this, and anxiety-based disorders (social anxiety, agoraphobia, OCD, hoarding, etc) are all about desensitizing yourself to the anxiety.  It's a lot like being a duck in a freezing pond. The more you swim and the more you push through your anxiety, the bigger your world is.  But if you give up and avoid what makes you anxious, your entire world freezes around you until you're almost literally stuck in a little patch frozen by fear.  It's a constant struggle and a tough way to live. I haven't tried anti-anxiety medication as my condition is mild enough that I'm still functional, but it comes up at the oddest times.  I have a hard time meeting people for the first time.  Once I meet them, I'm fine. But while they're an "unknown quantity", I'm scared to put myself out there.  I just put on my best smile (my coping mechanism of choice) and charge ahead...most of the time.


I was going to ask something similar, because I've always been anxious and a little OCD (have to close cupboards in the right order, etc), but it wasn't until I had kids and got PPD that it turned into full-blown depression. I'm now noticing how one of my kids will run around perfectly happy and outgoing, and the other one, who's not yet two years old, has to stack things just so, and touch every doorknob in his room before bed, and I think, "oh no kiddo, you might have a rough road ahead."
 
2013-05-09 10:28:06 PM  
To all those that don't think depression is real, science proved a while back that it can be caused by a chemical inbalance in the brain.  The drugs that are being used are to try to kickstart the brain back into chemical balance.

Mrs. WTNV suffers from Chronic Fatigue Sydrome which has as a component depression.  She goes through the gamut of emotions including thoughts of 'it would be better off without her".  I don't always understand what is going on but do my best to prove to her that is not the case when she gets to that point.  As far as I can tell, she hasn't gotten to the place of no emotions at all for which I am grateful (after reading these posts).

My brother suffers from a condition that acts like non focus of ADHD/ADD but was treated with an SSRI (Paxil) which up and quit working one day this year.  He wants a family and the no sex drive bothers him a lot.  My dad is doing exhaustive research to find something natural that will aid the issue but leave him with desire.  If he finds something I will try to pass it on.

I myself have no issues laughing, crying, being sad or happy but have a hard time with death.  My mother passed a way this year from cancer at the age of 80 and I was sad only for a while, and I don't seem to have grieved fully yet but it doesn't feel like I need to.  I have had this reaction with almost all of my close relatives that have passed away.  Maybe because of my beliefs it is just not that big of a deal to me.  I don't know.

To those of you that are suffering in your various stages I hope like Peter Pan you can find your happy thought.
God Bless you all, and my prayers go out to you.
 
2013-05-09 10:32:55 PM  

gglibertine: You goddamned ignorant bee-eating toad dropping.


That was beautiful! *sniff*
 
2013-05-09 10:36:32 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: Ambivalence: oMaJoJ: Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.

I have this, and anxiety-based disorders (social anxiety, agoraphobia, OCD, hoarding, etc) are all about desensitizing yourself to the anxiety.  It's a lot like being a duck in a freezing pond. The more you swim and the more you push through your anxiety, the bigger your world is.  But if you give up and avoid what makes you anxious, your entire world freezes around you until you're almost literally stuck in a little patch frozen by fear.  It's a constant struggle and a tough way to live. I haven't tried anti-anxiety medication as my condition is mild enough that I'm still functional, but it comes up at the oddest times.  I have a hard time meeting people for the first time.  Once I meet them, I'm fine. But while they're an "unknown quantity", I'm scared to put myself out there.  I just put on my best smile (my coping mechanism of choice) and charge ahead...most of the time.

I was going to ask something similar, because I've always been anxious and a little OCD (have to close cupboards in the right order, etc), but it wasn't until I had kids and got PPD that it turned into full-blown depression. I'm now noticing how one of my kids will run around perfectly happy and outgoing, and the other one, who's not yet two years old, has to stack things just so, and touch every doorknob in his room before bed, and I think, "oh no kiddo, you might h ...


Put a stop to that now, I have -had you always have whatever OCD. I would have to tap things or open close or fluff the pillow as many times as whatever number popped into my head and at 13 I realized this was getting out of control so I allowed myself to do it for one more week then a week of half of whatever number popped into my head then the following week only every other time it popped into my head then every other day etc.. It worked sounds nuts but so was what I was doing. Good luck it is best to nip it early!
 
2013-05-09 10:36:45 PM  

Gonz: Kittypie070: a few meds that work well enough to keep me from blowing up the farking 'hood, and to top it off, all this dandy claptrap un-spikes my blood pressure

Beta blocker?


Nope.

Neat mix of three psych meds that finally worked well after several years of doctors fiddling and adjusting. One medication I take is actually secondarily prescribed for weight loss and quitting smoking, and while I have not lost any weight, I have not gained any either.

Not to mention the more important anger management stuff that gives me effective mental tools to knock it off when I get mad about something that's simply not worth it.

Meaning if I want to go off the meds, I'll still have some beneficially-readjusted thinking, and I'll still be able to use anger as something to motivate genuinely useful action.

There's a tremendous amount of energy in it. That's what it's for. I simply needed a lot of help to leash the beast.
 
2013-05-09 10:40:33 PM  

megarian: Are you trying to ruin my "asshole" reputation? Stop that.

And you're still hot, even if you are crazy. :D

/or is that you're hot because you are crazy?
//with me, it's hard to know

I am absolutely batshiat crazy. Not
directed at others, though.

So yaaaaaaay!!!!!

It IS hard to know. I love me some crazy chicks. LOVE. All naked and crazy...with the weird requests...and yeah, I'll kiss you and then...wait...oh crap, there's people here.


Damn it.  Now I'm all depressed.
 
2013-05-09 10:40:35 PM  
Thanks for the stories, y'all.
I've been on the up and down all my life. The ups are great and I get a lot of stuff done but the downs are devastating and unpredictable. I've tried medication but it made me much worse (welbutrin and another one I can't remember). Weed helps a lot, but it's expensive and I can't be stoned all the time. I want to start therapy and recently looked into it, but my insurance only covers 6 visits a year and I'm afraid of opening a can of worms that I can't close by myself.
The part that sucks is that I'm really good at a lot of stuff and when I'm up I do awesome things but the inevitable down brings all that to a screeching halt and I lose any momentum I built. This has been the story of my life.
I have a corn moment every few years. My favorite came while I was sitting at a red light, stuck in traffic. I had been feeling really shiatty for months. I glanced over to the sidewalk and saw this old crippled guy walking brokenly down the street. all of a sudden 'Dirty Laundry' came on the radio and the drum beat synced perfectly to the old man's lurching walk and it was actually beautiful. I laughed so hard at how life had turned into a musical for a moment that I had to pull over and for the rest of the day things seemed better and they kept getting better coontil the next dive).
Right now I'm on the upswing again. The last down time only lasted a month or so, but I know another one will come eventually. I would trade half my IQ and all of my creativity for a pill that would make me like football, laugh at Jeff Dunham and love jesus and nascar. No snark at all.
 
2013-05-09 10:44:55 PM  

megarian: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

Damn dude. Why have sex if not for pleasure?

Because I like relationships and that is a healthy part of it. I like sex once it is happening but initiating it is something that is beyond be simply because is never occur to me. I like pleasing the other person. I don't get anything out of umm...reciprocation. Well, I can but it takes like, a half an hour and an act of Congress.


You sound just like my wife. Honestly it drives me nuts. I mean it's nice that she likes it while its happening but how can someone just NEVER think of it? I don't get it. My greatest wish is for an unsolicited BJ. Just one.
 
2013-05-09 10:47:06 PM  

LDM90: megarian: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: megarian: Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS

My "corn moment" involved a melted action figure in a Detroit FreePress mailbox.

Recently. I have a long way to go. I still can't feel sad or guilt or happy. I haven't been able to have sex for pleasure in 5 years (I'm in my late-mid-twenties, so it's a problem...haven't even dated anyone in 2 years because I don't want to mislead anyone).

Damn dude. Why have sex if not for pleasure?

Because I like relationships and that is a healthy part of it. I like sex once it is happening but initiating it is something that is beyond be simply because is never occur to me. I like pleasing the other person. I don't get anything out of umm...reciprocation. Well, I can but it takes like, a half an hour and an act of Congress.

You sound just like my wife. Honestly it drives me nuts. I mean it's nice that she likes it while its happening but how can someone just NEVER think of it? I don't get it. My greatest wish is for an unsolicited BJ. Just one.


Ugh... the dreaded 'chore head'...
 
2013-05-09 10:47:47 PM  

MarkEC: The emotionless issues that everyone is  talking about is quite frankly something that has been with me for my whole life. I have never cried over someone dying, and have always had the thought she has on her blog "uh oh...sad face sad face". I've sometimes thought that I was just a cold-hearted bastard.


Yeah for a while I was pretty sure I was a psychopath, nope just critically depressed.
 
2013-05-09 10:48:30 PM  
redsquid:  I would trade half my IQ and all of my creativity for a pill that would make me like football, laugh at Jeff Dunham and love jesus and nascar. No snark at all.

This reminds me of a thought experiment I saw once.  If you had to choose one, would you rather be stupid, lazy, or mean?

It's an interesting look into what we value in others and in ourselves as most usually select whatever negative attribute they are strongest in.  Someone who is a hard worker but treats people like shiat might choose mean.  Someone who is really nice but not that smart, may choose stupid.  someone who is really smart but unmotivated may choose lazy, etc.
 
2013-05-09 10:49:31 PM  
It's called apathy, not depression.
 
2013-05-09 10:51:07 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: I was going to ask something similar, because I've always been anxious and a little OCD (have to close cupboards in the right order, etc), but it wasn't until I had kids and got PPD that it turned into full-blown depression. I'm now noticing how one of my kids will run around perfectly happy and outgoing, and the other one, who's not yet two years old, has to stack things just so, and touch every doorknob in his room before bed, and I think, "oh no kiddo, you might have a rough road ahead."


I really wouldn't worry about it. OCD is essentially a problem with magical thinking, which only really becomes a problem when it carries over into adult life, and the rituals becomes increasingly elaborate to the point of interfering with day to day functioning...

All small children are magical thinkers. Minus any other troublesome quirks, I would tend to regard "OCD" behavior in a 2 year old as a sign of intellect/curiosity. It's just another way of expressing interest in learning how to manipulate reality. (They are just still at the age where reality is made up of all sorts of unseen forces and causes that they'll lose touch with when they get older.)
 
2013-05-09 10:51:19 PM  

LDM90: You sound just like my wife. Honestly it drives me nuts. I mean it's nice that she likes it while its happening but how can someone just NEVER think of it? I don't get it. My greatest wish is for an unsolicited BJ. Just one.


You could write an app that sends out reminders at random times to wives' cellphones for just that purpose.  "Give your husband a BJ" or "hubby needs some lovin".

make it random, but at the same time act as a reminder.
 
2013-05-09 10:52:28 PM  

Ambivalence: oMaJoJ: Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.

I have this, and anxiety-based disorders (social anxiety, agoraphobia, OCD, hoarding, etc) are all about desensitizing yourself to the anxiety.  It's a lot like being a duck in a freezing pond. The more you swim and the more you push through your anxiety, the bigger your world is.  But if you give up and avoid what makes you anxious, your entire world freezes around you until you're almost literally stuck in a little patch frozen by fear.  It's a constant struggle and a tough way to live. I haven't tried anti-anxiety medication as my condition is mild enough that I'm still functional, but it comes up at the oddest times.  I have a hard time meeting people for the first time.  Once I meet them, I'm fine. But while they're an "unknown quantity", I'm scared to put myself out there.  I just put on my best smile (my coping mechanism of choice) and charge ahead...most of the time.


I'm actually trying something like this. There was this weekly event recently at the Nintendo Store. I ended up talking to this guy and joining his group but I feel so awkward and out of place there.
 
2013-05-09 10:53:33 PM  
I like the dead fish part. That's how I used to see people interact with each other, but as you get older it kind of grows on you and It all becomes a blur. After awhile you play the same game as them and you become a happy zombie whether you want to or not.  Hows your day? Nice weather we're having. Did you see the game last night? Makes you feel good inside. The "life is meaningless and has no point" still matters .but it doesn't make you depressed like it did. You begin to accept it, forget it and laugh at it. You enjoy the lie.

But seeing others think like this makes me feel really good.

 //hobbies and alcohol help
 
2013-05-09 10:54:13 PM  
Wow, I never realized there were so many depressed people here. I got into a funk and was told to take high doses of d3 for awhile. It really helped.
Hope y'all feel better.

TFC was oddly amusing and most likely cathartic for the cartoonist.
 
2013-05-09 10:54:53 PM  

radarlove: LovingTeacher:
my alt's alt's alt:
megarian:

Thanks for the input, y'all!   =)


CynicalLA: Adderall is a serious drug and hopefully you are taking it for the right reasons.

lol...they're ALL serious drugs.  In fact, of the three listed Adderal isn't even the most dangerous.  Just the most abused.


My buddy had me try one of his adderall once -- he has 'em for ADHD.

I *never* want to be that zoomy ever again.
 
2013-05-09 10:55:37 PM  

megarian: Really: Detroit sucks. People get shot...often. And no one really cares. But I've sort of been fascinated by the strange degradation...and I have jobs that I *love* and I get to interact with the actual inhabitants of Detroit everyday. They're messed up, but pretty cool and they have a lot of interesting, shockingly humanistic awesome things to say. I do mental health and social work, so I see a lot to ridiculous assholes, too. And they SUCK.


You make me wish I'd made time for the Detroit (Ann Arbor?) Fark meetup. I'm not the boozer type, but I do like interesting people. :)

Ironically I have another friend who works in Detroit at a last chance mental health clinic. She's amazing.
 
2013-05-09 10:55:56 PM  

MelGoesOnTour: Great story.

By the way, can someone tell me who "she" is? I guess I missed something.


This blog is funny and has unique, well-written prose. It spawned the "clean all the things!" meme that was popular here on Fark and a whole bunch of other places. The blog's been dead for over a year, so the fact that she's alive and making a new post is newsworthy enough to at least get attention from Farkers. I also saw this on Reddit today and the reaction was the same there. Also that last post was the "clean all the things" post, so I bet there's a lot of people like me who went, saw what the deal was, and then never saw her again, so we all kinda wondered.

Also, this blog entry and the one before it are incredibly well-written descriptions of depression from a very self-aware person. I really like the "dead fish" analogy. It perfectly describes how non-depressed people try to deal with depressed people. Her personality, shown through her frustration without sounding biatchy, is perfect. That's really how I wish I could explain those feelings to people. I'm not currently depressed or anything, but I understood pretty much every word of that.

The difference for me was that my depression has never been that severe or lasted that long. Any time I've ever felt that overwhelming "nothing" she describes, I've always had the reassurance that it's temporary because I know myself well enough to know the weird cycles I've been through.
 
2013-05-09 10:57:46 PM  

oMaJoJ: Ambivalence: oMaJoJ: Since this is also a thread on depression, I wanted to know if anybody knows if it can be related or linked to social anxiety. I have felt off since maybe middle school. I feel like party of the reason I dropped out of college and can't bring myself to make a serious attempt at going back even though I want to. I can deal with people but I'd much rather eat glass. If I'm around people I try to stay quiet and end interaction asap. This also sucks because I'm supposedly a team leader or some stupid bullshiat and everybody comes to me to help them fix problems. It's overwhelming more times than I'd like to admit.

I have this, and anxiety-based disorders (social anxiety, agoraphobia, OCD, hoarding, etc) are all about desensitizing yourself to the anxiety.  It's a lot like being a duck in a freezing pond. The more you swim and the more you push through your anxiety, the bigger your world is.  But if you give up and avoid what makes you anxious, your entire world freezes around you until you're almost literally stuck in a little patch frozen by fear.  It's a constant struggle and a tough way to live. I haven't tried anti-anxiety medication as my condition is mild enough that I'm still functional, but it comes up at the oddest times.  I have a hard time meeting people for the first time.  Once I meet them, I'm fine. But while they're an "unknown quantity", I'm scared to put myself out there.  I just put on my best smile (my coping mechanism of choice) and charge ahead...most of the time.

I'm actually trying something like this. There was this weekly event recently at the Nintendo Store. I ended up talking to this guy and joining his group but I feel so awkward and out of place there.


I recently joined a group of tech geeks to build a project for the Red Bull Challenge. It was very hard to put my self out there and be social. Joining a group of geeks helped a lot. They're just as weird and awkward as I am and we have stuff in common to talk about and do. I have trouble with just socializing but if there's an activity I'm fine, so joining a hackers collective was a good fit.
 
2013-05-09 10:57:47 PM  

traylor: It's called apathy, not depression.


No, it's called depression. Apathy is a part of it, but only a part. Depression is not just sadness.
 
2013-05-09 10:57:51 PM  

patchvonbraun: My buddy had me try one of his adderall once -- he has 'em for ADHD.

I *never* want to be that zoomy ever again.


The scariest side-effect - bar none - of taking Adderall for me is how normal and right I feel. I spent a month going "Oh god I have ADD auuugh the pills work my life is ooooverrrrrr".

I can be kinda melodramatic at times. :P
 
2013-05-09 10:59:12 PM  
I'm a schizoid personality type so I got a kick out of that article.

Low-level, high-functioning depressive since the age of 13. You just get used to it after a while and it becomes part of your personality. Antidepressants suck. The cure was worse than the disease.
 
2013-05-09 10:59:47 PM  

torusXL: TheOtherMisterP: I was in a decent mood until I started reading that....comic? Whatever it is. Everything about the page is just freaking creepy to me.

Well, that's what a lot of people are living through.

Are you just gonna ignore them because you feel creeped out about it?


No, I ignore them because it's what they seem to want. And because I desperately want to ignore them myself.

/not everyone has the same type of depression
//sounds like ennui, not depression at all
///some of us just grow the fark up and stop being so goddamn self-absorbed
 
2013-05-09 11:00:07 PM  

oMaJoJ: I'm actually trying something like this. There was this weekly event recently at the Nintendo Store. I ended up talking to this guy and joining his group but I feel so awkward and out of place there.


Good for you! It's going to be uncomfortable, but that's the entire point.  The more you fight the urge to run or avoid the situation, the less uncomfortable it becomes over time.  The more you avoid, the more uncomfortable it is when you ever do need to do whatever triggers the anxiety.

I remember once going to a garage sale (one I really wanted to go to) and turning around halfway there because I felt anxiety at the prospect of meeting the people running the sale.  I signed up for an art class I've been wanting to take for YEARS, and almost didn't go to that first class. I had to call a friend and have her talk me down and force me to confront my anxiety.  I ended up meeting wonderful people and having a really good time.  Once I meet people and feel comfortable with them I'm the life of the party, it's getting past that hurdle of meeting people that is a struggle for me.

The more I fight it, the bigger my world is and the better my life is.  The more I give up, the more "shut in" I get and the crappier I feel in general.
 
2013-05-09 11:00:44 PM  
Rik01:  It's a bit worse if, like me, you worked in psychiatrics and understand what's happening ...

Interestingly, I find it helps me.  My background is in molecular biology, and whenever I get into a bad episode, I start reading as many journal articles, etc. as possible about my meds, what we know about how bipolar manifests in the brain, and such.  The more technical, the better.  For some reason, intellectualizing it like that makes it easier to keep in mind that the crap running through my brain is not actually coming from me -- it's coming from a malfunction.

Of course, my episodes tend to come on pretty suddenly (within a few days), so it's much easier to tell that my thinking has changed drastically since, say, Tuesday.  This last one came on slowly, though, over months.  To tie into oMaJoJ's question about social anxiety and depression, that was my main symptom this time.  A slowly developing sense that everyone around me secretly thought that I was not worth interacting with.  Absolutely no empirical evidence to support this, and I initially tried to talk myself out of these feelings, but after a while, every single thing that came out of my mouth was immediately followed by the almost unconscious feeling of unworthiness and incompetence.  And after a while of this, you start to believe it might be rooted in reality.

I was developing quite the psychological complex when I finally started noticing physical symptoms that are typical of my type of depression (e.g. waking up ungodly early in the morning and being unable to go back to sleep.  Not anxious, not manic, just physiologically unable to sleep.)  All of a sudden, the pieces fell into place and I realized that all of these unbearable thoughts might, just might, be coming from brain malfunction instead of reality.  My doctor increased my dose of mood stabilizer, and within a week, those thoughts started to simply melt away.

It f*cking blows my mind that a handful of misfiring neurons can create such horrible, intrusive thoughts.  And that's why I want to slap people who complain that "we're too quick to medicate people who say they're depressed."  Therapy can be very useful, especially if you need to unravel years of these kinds of malfunctioning ideas infecting your thinking.  But these thoughts are stemming from biophysical causes, not "issues."  You can learn how to cope with them, but they won't go away until you force your neurons to behave with meds, or as someone said above, your brain cells simply decide to show you some mercy and shape up.
 
2013-05-09 11:01:31 PM  

jonny_q: traylor: It's called apathy, not depression.

No, it's called depression. Apathy is a part of it, but only a part. Depression is not just sadness.


My depression was a lot of anger, inverted. Took me a long time to realize the problem because you tend of think of depression as listlessness and instead I was maniacally overscheduling myself, trying to keep on top of things because deep down I felt so out of control.
 
2013-05-09 11:03:35 PM  
I still have days when I feel not good.

That FRAKKIN STUPID HUMANS!! thing.

That WHAT THE HELL DID I SCREW UP THIS TIME!!?? thing.

That I'M GONNA JAM THAT MOTHER@#&%ING PHONE UP A DOG'S ASS IF IT RINGS JUST ONE MORE TIME thing.

I would like quite a whole LOT for someone to come up with a legal and harmless euphoriant. It really would help.
 
2013-05-09 11:03:38 PM  

SnakeLee: Wow being depressed sounds shiatty


The best metaphor I've ever seen for it (before seeing TFA) was "wearing shiat-colored glasses".
 
2013-05-09 11:04:10 PM  

Kittypie070: Gonz: Kittypie070: a few meds that work well enough to keep me from blowing up the farking 'hood, and to top it off, all this dandy claptrap un-spikes my blood pressure

Beta blocker?

Nope.

Neat mix of three psych meds that finally worked well after several years of doctors fiddling and adjusting. One medication I take is actually secondarily prescribed for weight loss and quitting smoking, and while I have not lost any weight, I have not gained any either.

Not to mention the more important anger management stuff that gives me effective mental tools to knock it off when I get mad about something that's simply not worth it.

Meaning if I want to go off the meds, I'll still have some beneficially-readjusted thinking, and I'll still be able to use anger as something to motivate genuinely useful action.

There's a tremendous amount of energy in it. That's what it's for. I simply needed a lot of help to leash the beast.


Uh-oh. A manic kitteh? That can't be good. You're angry enough most of the time anyway.

I better not stroke your fur backward...unless I need a static kitty to do some damage for me... ;)
 
2013-05-09 11:04:16 PM  
Very good
 
2013-05-09 11:05:16 PM  

AbbeySomeone: Wow, I never realized there were so many depressed people here. I got into a funk and was told to take high doses of d3 for awhile. It really helped.
Hope y'all feel better.

TFC was oddly amusing and most likely cathartic for the cartoonist.


Some "funk" is caused by hypothyroidism (or some type of thyroid hormone disorder where the liver doesn't properly convert thyroid hormone. Most people dont' realize that there isn't just one "thyroid hormone" but several hormones, some originate from the thyroid gland, some have to be converted by the liver), and high doses of D3 work very well for that as depleted D vitamin can be a symptom of thyroid hormone issues.

There's a lot of undiagnosed thyroid problems out there because most doctors will only measure total thyroid levels, not itemize the levels of various types of thyroid hormone.
 
2013-05-09 11:05:41 PM  

Bumblefark: God Is My Co-Pirate: I was going to ask something similar, because I've always been anxious and a little OCD (have to close cupboards in the right order, etc), but it wasn't until I had kids and got PPD that it turned into full-blown depression. I'm now noticing how one of my kids will run around perfectly happy and outgoing, and the other one, who's not yet two years old, has to stack things just so, and touch every doorknob in his room before bed, and I think, "oh no kiddo, you might have a rough road ahead."

I really wouldn't worry about it. OCD is essentially a problem with magical thinking, which only really becomes a problem when it carries over into adult life, and the rituals becomes increasingly elaborate to the point of interfering with day to day functioning...

All small children are magical thinkers. Minus any other troublesome quirks, I would tend to regard "OCD" behavior in a 2 year old as a sign of intellect/curiosity. It's just another way of expressing interest in learning how to manipulate reality. (They are just still at the age where reality is made up of all sorts of unseen forces and causes that they'll lose touch with when they get older.)


Thanks. I'm hoping you're right, but he is shy and sad (for a 2 year old) and I can see a lot of me in him. I don't want to create a self-fulfilling prophecy; I figure the best thing to do right now is not make a big deal out of it, and make sure he gets outside as much as possible.
 
2013-05-09 11:06:31 PM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Have any of you sad sacks tried manning (or womanning) up and dealing with things? Depression is like adhd, namely that its not a real thing.


You sir, are an unrepentant donkey-botherer.

Clinical depression is related to brain chemistry defects involving serotonin regulation.  Look it up.
  If clinical depression isn't "real" then other biochemical disorders not involving the brain must
  also be "not real".   Like, oh, I dunno, ALS, or MS, or a bajillion other biochemical disorders commonly
  found in human populations.
 
2013-05-09 11:07:34 PM  
So glad she was able to crawl out of the pit full of dead fish and post again. We've missed you Allie!
 
2013-05-09 11:09:16 PM  
I've been going through a major depression for months now. I'm starting therapy next week because I've found myself eyeballing rope at the store, and determined an anchor point on my back porch where neighborhood children won't see. Told the neighbor that if she found a note on her door asking her to call police and paramedics, she'd know why. My place is a wreck because I can't work up the motivation to do housework, and even personal hygiene is a chore. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.
 
2013-05-09 11:09:27 PM  
Glad she's back.
 
2013-05-09 11:10:44 PM  

SmackLT: Happy to see that she's back


fark you. No, seriously, fark YOU. This isn't about you and whether or not you can read amusing things on the Internet. This is a human being who is in the middle of the black hole of depression. I don't care if she ever blogs again, as long as she gets the help she needs and can find her way back into the world outside the abyss. I've been there (not nearly as bad as her, but enough to see how terrifying it is) and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I don't care that she was one of the funniest people on the net (and she really was). Her being "back" is irrelevant. Her being ALIVE is.
 
2013-05-09 11:12:05 PM  
I live like a monk, so I have money in the bank. I try to think of something I could buy that might cheer me up, but nothing comes to mind. I bought myself a new CBR1000RR a couple of months ago, but I haven't been able to work up too much enthusiasm to take it out for a ride. Going anywhere seems like more trouble than it's worth. I go to work because I have to.
 
2013-05-09 11:12:51 PM  

Kittypie070: I still have days when I feel not good.

That FRAKKIN STUPID HUMANS!! thing.

That WHAT THE HELL DID I SCREW UP THIS TIME!!?? thing.

That I'M GONNA JAM THAT MOTHER@#&%ING PHONE UP A DOG'S ASS IF IT RINGS JUST ONE MORE TIME thing.

I would like quite a whole LOT for someone to come up with a legal and harmless euphoriant. It really would help.


Does catnip not work?
i.chzbgr.com
/Sorry : )
 
2013-05-09 11:13:19 PM  

buckler: I've been going through a major depression for months now. I'm starting therapy next week because I've found myself eyeballing rope at the store, and determined an anchor point on my back porch where neighborhood children won't see. Told the neighbor that if she found a note on her door asking her to call police and paramedics, she'd know why. My place is a wreck because I can't work up the motivation to do housework, and even personal hygiene is a chore. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.


Glad you're going to see someone ( :
 
2013-05-09 11:13:50 PM  

Cato: SmackLT: Happy to see that she's back

fark you. No, seriously, fark YOU. This isn't about you and whether or not you can read amusing things on the Internet. This is a human being who is in the middle of the black hole of depression. I don't care if she ever blogs again, as long as she gets the help she needs and can find her way back into the world outside the abyss. I've been there (not nearly as bad as her, but enough to see how terrifying it is) and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I don't care that she was one of the funniest people on the net (and she really was). Her being "back" is irrelevant. Her being ALIVE is.


Um cant we be happy that she is back AND alive? I mean - she seems to be happy she is back.... You might want to adjust your rage meter.
 
2013-05-09 11:16:13 PM  

Ambivalence: There's a lot of undiagnosed thyroid problems out there because most doctors will only measure total thyroid levels, not itemize the levels of various types of thyroid hormone.


Amen. I've got an appt with my endocrinologist in two weeks to discuss this. He doesn't approve of using Armour, which I just think is kinda dumb. If it works, it works.

My GP on the other hand is almost delighted that I have thyroid issues, since it's another data point for his working theory about metabolic disorders running rampant through the populace.

For an interesting contrast, my thyroid medication makes me WANT to do things, and my Adderall makes me ABLE to do them. So if you're able but just can't bring yourself to mentally gird yourself to do things, it doesn't hurt to have the ol' thyroid checked out. Although frankly I don't think the straight blood tests are very useful. YMMV
 
2013-05-09 11:17:37 PM  

Cato: SmackLT: Happy to see that she's back

fark you. No, seriously, fark YOU. This isn't about you and whether or not you can read amusing things on the Internet. This is a human being who is in the middle of the black hole of depression. I don't care if she ever blogs again, as long as she gets the help she needs and can find her way back into the world outside the abyss. I've been there (not nearly as bad as her, but enough to see how terrifying it is) and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I don't care that she was one of the funniest people on the net (and she really was). Her being "back" is irrelevant. Her being ALIVE is.


Oh, I think her being 'back' is a good indicator that she's climbing out of the pit, and we can all, those of us who have spent time in the pit, celebrate that.

/kinda hovering at the pit edge these days
 
2013-05-09 11:19:04 PM  

Cato: SmackLT: Happy to see that she's back

fark you. No, seriously, fark YOU. This isn't about you and whether or not you can read amusing things on the Internet. This is a human being who is in the middle of the black hole of depression. I don't care if she ever blogs again, as long as she gets the help she needs and can find her way back into the world outside the abyss. I've been there (not nearly as bad as her, but enough to see how terrifying it is) and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I don't care that she was one of the funniest people on the net (and she really was). Her being "back" is irrelevant. Her being ALIVE is.


I think they kinda meant both at the same time. Either way, I'm not sure why it warrants a double Fark you.
 
2013-05-09 11:24:04 PM  
I know I'm late to the thread, but wow. I have been dealing with debilitating depression and just started taking  an antidepressant, which is supposed to get worse before it gets better. Today, all I've done (from bed) is cry, stare at the wall, and look at websites.

/Not really getting a kick
//cause I can't feel much of anything
///rimshot
 
2013-05-09 11:24:48 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

She's always made me laugh. Hope she gets some wind in her sails.
 
2013-05-09 11:25:43 PM  
I have to respect my friend. I have to treat his mental processes with a certain kind of respect.

There's no way to just yell at him to take off those damned shiat coloured glasses.

There's not even a nice way to pry those things off. It cannot be done that way. Period.

People used to tell me "get over it!" with my own crap, and to be perfectly blunt I wanted very badly to stick the crap in my mind into THEIR mind and see how the fark they liked it and to see if they could just "get over it" with a happy little snap of the fingers the way they wanted me to do.

So when I talk to my friend through the Net, I stick with him as much as I can for that day, through that choking mental muck.

I listen. That's all I can do to help. He needs someone to listen. It's all he asks.

It does help.

That's all I can say on it.

Hang on, buddy.
 
2013-05-09 11:27:38 PM  
Reading this thread has been fascinating- I splash around in the kiddie pool of depression compared to many folks here but it's still a huge drag on things.  Two things that help these days

1) I finally bit the bullet and went on bupropion a few months back.  It's a fascinating drug- the effects are quite subtle at any given moment but in hindsight it really takes the edge off the things that use to start a depressive spiral.  I don't obsess anywhere near as much on the negative things in my life, and I've been a little more stable at the moment something bad's happening.
2) I took up guitar a few years back.  Allowing myself to suck at something actually is pretty liberating. I'm total crap.   I have *no* musical talent at all.  But nobody expects me to play well.  *I* don't expect me to play well.  I fail (and flail) at it daily, and when I'm done sucking I go back to the real world.

For those in the deep end- keep paddling.

(Bizarre bit- I had been reading this thread before practicing.  I decided to learn something new today, so I picked Iron Maiden's "Can I Play With Madness".  I was 20 minutes into learning it when I suddenly realized...)
 
2013-05-09 11:29:31 PM  

J. Frank Parnell: Should have embraced buddhism or some other philosophy when she was having the existential breakdown about everything being pointless. There's absolutely nothing wrong with thinking that, and it can lead to a new, more honest, way to be happy. Instead it seems her road to happiness is to continue trying to be happy about the meaningless and superficial crap she became disillusioned with.

/"Products and TV shows give my life meaning!"


As a Buddhist and a Clinical Depressive I am here to say that you are mistaken about both. The emotionlessness/numbness/mindlessness of depression is the exact opposite of the mindfullness of good Buddhist practice. I think Buddhism can indeed help with depression (meds are important in my experience but just a start) by leading oneself from a state where nothing matters and you notice none of your surroundings to one where you work towards awareness of your inner and outer environment.

\glad Allie is still around
 
2013-05-09 11:30:59 PM  
First I've ever heard of this person.

Glad she's... back? Or something?

/ok fine I'll go eat a sammich and shuttup
 
2013-05-09 11:31:13 PM  
I hate to admit this, but Paxil saved my ass many moons ago. I'm so glad to have gotten over getting off it, but I found that chemistry-free living was unmanageable, and now take my meds with the nonchalance of a cigar smoker in Havana. It took years to accept that this was just going to have to be the norm for me, and that I needed 'em to function. I'd love to live free of meds, but I'd hate to go back to where I was. Acceptance sucks, therapy hurts, and remedies mostly cure symptoms, but rarely the diseases (disorders, irregularities, whatever). My point is that it takes years. We have to put in the years. The other options are all bad. And it's incredibly depressing to even talk about our depression most of the time. I wouldn't say that I 'love this thread so much', but maybe there's a picture of a cat who isn't totally happy, but not bummed out, either, somewhere on the internet I can find...

/grateful to the posters
//thankful to the suggesters
///shakas and good vibes to the sufferers
 
2013-05-09 11:32:59 PM  

Smock Pot: I know I'm late to the thread, but wow. I have been dealing with debilitating depression and just started taking  an antidepressant, which is supposed to get worse before it gets better. Today, all I've done (from bed) is cry, stare at the wall, and look at websites.

/Not really getting a kick
//cause I can't feel much of anything
///rimshot


I know the feeling hang in there. 2 months ago or so I went back on Prozac, I know it works for me it just took a month or 2 too adjust to it. It's not easy but hang in there and hope you have a good therapist and shrink.
 
2013-05-09 11:33:04 PM  
These threads are always a valuable read. It's nice to think that maybe someday I'll fix me. I mean, I won't, but still. It's good to have a dream.
 
2013-05-09 11:34:28 PM  

buckler: I've been going through a major depression for months now. I'm starting therapy next week because I've found myself eyeballing rope at the store, and determined an anchor point on my back porch where neighborhood children won't see. Told the neighbor that if she found a note on her door asking her to call police and paramedics, she'd know why. My place is a wreck because I can't work up the motivation to do housework, and even personal hygiene is a chore. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.


I'm glad you're going to see someone. I hope they can help you. Good luck to you. :)
 
2013-05-09 11:34:41 PM  
I can only imagine how many people are in this thread talking about the depressions they're going through or have been through and probably, if they're like I was, how scared they are about possibly going through another one.

There have been a ton of these threads on Fark over the many years I've been hanging around the joint, and I've participated in many of them, often looking for help.  I can't read this whole thread, because I'd want to say to everyone currently suffering, individually, some sort of specific kind of "hey, I've never been exactly where you are, but I've been nearby! C'mon, man! If I can do it, you can too!". But I won't, because that always sounds false when you're on the receiving end of it.

I didn't have a piece of corn, more like an escalating series of excruciating and/or joyous head slaps as I took the long, slow rebound from bottom.  Some training in mindfulness was an essential piece.

If someone told me even two years ago how much joy I'd get from the simplest things these days, I'd never have believed it.  It took a really long time to get here, and it has been really hard.  Off the top of my head it was 6 therapists/psychiatrists before I found this one, who was the first with whom I was like: "okay, this might work".  And that was a slim light in very dark days, believe me.

And here I am.  Walking home from the streetcar today, I had a spring in my step because work this week has been  busy and interesting, and I'm really looking forward to seeing that one woman this weekend, and those blooming cherry trees I just passed smelled fantastic and is that a freshly-opened lilac leaning over the sidewalk? Ima take a snootfull! Ahhhhhh! So good.  So, so good.

Trust me when I say - I have never been where you are.  No one but you ever has been.  But I've been in the neighborhood. If you're at or near bottom, you may doubt you'll feel anything ever again, let alone joy.  I can't say you will, but you might.  I hope that's good enough.

/ it's hard
// no, really, it's really hard
/// while you're going through it, don't let anyone tell you otherwise
// worth it
/ so, so worth it
 
2013-05-09 11:36:00 PM  
t1.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-09 11:36:15 PM  

buckler: I've been going through a major depression for months now. I'm starting therapy next week because I've found myself eyeballing rope at the store, and determined an anchor point on my back porch where neighborhood children won't see. Told the neighbor that if she found a note on her door asking her to call police and paramedics, she'd know why. My place is a wreck because I can't work up the motivation to do housework, and even personal hygiene is a chore. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.


Sounds like you are in a really bad spot. When my depression creeps back I try to learn something new or do something different.  It motivates me to do other things. What do you like to do in your free time?
 
2013-05-09 11:39:49 PM  

jimmythrust: I hate to admit this, but Paxil saved my ass many moons ago. I'm so glad to have gotten over getting off it, but I found that chemistry-free living was unmanageable, and now take my meds with the nonchalance of a cigar smoker in Havana. It took years to accept that this was just going to have to be the norm for me, and that I needed 'em to function. I'd love to live free of meds, but I'd hate to go back to where I was. Acceptance sucks, therapy hurts, and remedies mostly cure symptoms, but rarely the diseases (disorders, irregularities, whatever). My point is that it takes years. We have to put in the years. The other options are all bad. And it's incredibly depressing to even talk about our depression most of the time. I wouldn't say that I 'love this thread so much', but maybe there's a picture of a cat who isn't totally happy, but not bummed out, either, somewhere on the internet I can find...

/grateful to the posters
//thankful to the suggesters
///shakas and good vibes to the sufferers


Glad you found something that worked for ya, that can be one of the really difficult things I've found, Paxil for instance did not work for me. Also I'm very bad about stopping the meds once I've been feeling better for awhile, and end up right back where I was. Granted it may take a year sometimes longer but it happens : (
 
2013-05-09 11:41:25 PM  
And to the Farkers currently in the shiat, my best advice would be to go seek treatment. Open the phone book for your state and start making some phone calls. Or get on the Google and search for "[your state] state mental health treatment". It's something concrete you can do to get yourself back on track.
 
2013-05-09 11:43:15 PM  

Theory Of Null: buckler: I've been going through a major depression for months now. I'm starting therapy next week because I've found myself eyeballing rope at the store, and determined an anchor point on my back porch where neighborhood children won't see. Told the neighbor that if she found a note on her door asking her to call police and paramedics, she'd know why. My place is a wreck because I can't work up the motivation to do housework, and even personal hygiene is a chore. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.

Sounds like you are in a really bad spot. When my depression creeps back I try to learn something new or do something different.  It motivates me to do other things. What do you like to do in your free time?


Nothing. I can surf the web literally all day. Hard for me to believe I was once a semi-professional cartoonist; nothing seems enjoyable or funny anymore. Getting a visit from a good friend in a couple weeks, and she always makes me feel a little happier
 
2013-05-09 11:43:54 PM  

Kittypie070: [t1.gstatic.com image 150x149]


That looks much like my kitty.
farm9.staticflickr.com
/Wut?
 
2013-05-09 11:47:13 PM  

BoothbyTCD: The emotionlessness/numbness/mindlessness of depression is the exact opposite of the mindfullness of good Buddhist practice.


Thank you for mentioning this.
 
2013-05-09 11:49:38 PM  

Guntram Shatterhand: Kenny.....Loggins.


I still get random outbursts of snickering and giggling whenever Kenny's existence comes up
 
2013-05-09 11:52:24 PM  
Kittypie070: One medication I take is actually secondarily prescribed for weight loss and quitting smoking, and while I have not lost any weight, I have not gained any either.

Wellbutrin?  Apparently the pharmaceutical reps back in the 90's were instructed to tell their physicians that Wellbutrin made clients "happy, horny, and skinny."
 
2013-05-09 11:57:14 PM  

buckler: I can surf the web literally all day. Hard for me to believe I was once a semi-professional cartoonist; nothing seems enjoyable or funny anymore. Getting a visit from a good friend in a couple weeks, and she always makes me feel a little happier


Yea, I generally do that or watch stupid movies all day when I'm bad off and I know the things that might make me feel better but doing those things when I'm in that shiat mode is next to impossible. Best wishes, meds can help and therapy really does work just stick with it it's not easy finding the right meds or the right therapist but it can be done.
 
2013-05-09 11:58:12 PM  

buckler: <b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7743389/84123996#c84123996" target="_blank">Theory Of Null</a>:</b> <i>buckler: I've been going through a major depression for months now. I'm starting therapy next week because I've found myself eyeballing rope at the store, and determined an anchor point on my back porch where neighborhood children won't see. Told the neighbor that if she found a note on her door asking her to call police and paramedics, she'd know why. My place is a wreck because I can't work up the motivation to do housework, and even personal hygiene is a chore. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.

Sounds like you are in a really bad spot. When my depression creeps back I try to learn something new or do something different.  It motivates me to do other things. What do you like to do in your free time?</i>

Nothing. I can surf the web literally all day. Hard for me to believe I was once a semi-professional cartoonist; nothing seems enjoyable or funny anymore. Getting a visit from a good friend in a couple weeks, and she always makes me feel a little happier


I know what you mean. Seems like I have heard or seen everything at least once before. I would try cartooning again and take another approach to it maybe show your kids. Kids got some crazy imaginations and ideas.

I dunno, but the slightest change in my routine always makes me feel better about other things in life.
 
2013-05-09 11:58:16 PM  
Maybe everything isn't hopeless bullshiat.

No, it is.  Sorry.
 
2013-05-09 11:59:40 PM  

LDM90: Cato: SmackLT: Happy to see that she's back

fark you. No, seriously, fark YOU. This isn't about you and whether or not you can read amusing things on the Internet. This is a human being who is in the middle of the black hole of depression. I don't care if she ever blogs again, as long as she gets the help she needs and can find her way back into the world outside the abyss. I've been there (not nearly as bad as her, but enough to see how terrifying it is) and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I don't care that she was one of the funniest people on the net (and she really was). Her being "back" is irrelevant. Her being ALIVE is.

I think they kinda meant both at the same time. Either way, I'm not sure why it warrants a double Fark you.


Because it's f'n tacky. "Oh, I'm so glad you worked out your issues and no longer want to KILL YOURSELF so that you can be 'back'".

That absolutely deserves a double fark you.
 
2013-05-10 12:03:02 AM  

CynicalLA: radarlove: CynicalLA: Adderall is a serious drug and hopefully you are taking it for the right reasons.

lol...they're ALL serious drugs.  In fact, of the three listed Adderal isn't even the most dangerous.  Just the most abused.

I've know a few people that went from Adderall to meth.  I think Adderall is a lot more addictive than the other ones.  Speed is a helluva drug.


That's probably because they didn't actually need the Adderall. When a person actually needs it for a health issue (like ADHD), it can be more destructive for them not to take it. It can help them cut back on other self-medicating behaviors like drinking too much.
 
2013-05-10 12:03:42 AM  
I really appreciate the good wishes. Thanks, all who offered.
 
2013-05-10 12:04:28 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I'm surprised at how modern medicine has missed what is so clear to the WebMDs here in this thread. Namely, that depression can be fixed by a good deep dicking.

Fark never ceases to amaze me.


Prozac and my BFF saved my life when I struggled with clinical depression last year. I have severe PMDD. My period stopped when I was sick for 10 years with a neuro disease. (I'd have it induced occasionally). I've struggled with feelings of wanting to commit suicide my entire life after puberty. But when I was in remission, despite the fact that after 10 years I wasn't in severe pain any more...I was crying every farking night and wanting to die. The anxiety was awful. Saw a shrink through my HMO, unfortunately she was a very new shrink and wanted to chalk it all up to essentially my line of work. Except my work and my BFF were the only things keeping me alive.

Got a new primary doc b/c I had moved to the Bay Area, he was phenom. He looked over everything, spent an hour talking to me about various subjects and asked why I was unwilling to try medication. I told him I wasn't unwilling to try ANYTHING. He asked if I would try prozac.

Normally it takes around 6 weeks for them to work. I have enough of a clinical psych. background to be a total pain in the ass. However, with PMDD what I did not know is with some people it works almost instantly.

It was like spending a year farking drowning in a violent sea where you just want to farking give up because it's SO exhausting, and nothingness sounds better than this constant mental anguish.

I had to adjust my prozac once (it stopped working and it came back like gangbusters). I'm on a very low dose, 40mg. I'm very lucky that it works for me and has relatively few side effects. I couldn't orgasm properly for six months. That was ...frustrating in a whole new way. And I love sex. I love it like you cannot imagine I love it. Orgasms are one of THE best things in life, and I pretty much try to have at least one daily.

I'm also lucky that the sexual side effects diminished, and today I only have problems orgasming if I'm doing something within like an hour or two of taking the prozac. Then it's like biking up a mountain, and if you get there...it fizzles. But other than rare instances of that...it's WONDERFUL.

I have friends who are very anti medication. My mother (who has HER background in behavioral science) is totally against me taking it. I had to tell her very bluntly that I wouldn't be alive without it. I was literally at the end of my rope.

But I wouldn't have made it out of that pit of depression without my BFF taking the reins and getting me to the doctor. I was willing to do anything, but the motivation to get up and do anything was utterly absent. You become someone who reacts and doesn't really act.

I was emo for a bit too on the meds. Got overloaded easily with some things that normally I wouldn't. I was also willing to do CBT (not the kink kind) but the medical doc who saved me, felt I really didn't need to.

And that doctor? The one who saved me? He wasn't taking new patients, but he agreed to take me on. It was literally an accident I saw him that day. Brilliant guy, but he had suffered a severe injury years before (spinal). After he got me well...he ended up reducing his practice to one day a week...and then was so ill, he wasn't making that. So I ended up switching primary docs again, even though I didn't want to. My new one is also awesome. But no one else even remotely considered PMDD, because my clinical depression was constant, and I'm older. He realized that due to the absence of a period, I had 10 years relatively symptom free. Then when it returned it was much, much worse because I hadn't been dealing with it for 10 years, plus it was like puberty again in a way.

Clinical depression sucks, and I'm one of the most naturally happy people you'll ever met. Which makes the whole 'snap out of it' mentality soooo much worse.

Still have some bad days, but nothing like that pit of despair. Her article was dead on.

I especially liked the crusty hoodie. I sooo went that route, thank god none of my clients saw that and my rat nest hair on cam or I'd have been out of work too. ;)

Anyway, any chick who wants to can easily get a deep dicking guys. We don't have to struggle to find sex like males. And if that cured depression, I wouldn't need medication. :D
 
2013-05-10 12:05:16 AM  

Alegria: Kittypie070: One medication I take is actually secondarily prescribed for weight loss and quitting smoking, and while I have not lost any weight, I have not gained any either.

Wellbutrin?  Apparently the pharmaceutical reps back in the 90's were instructed to tell their physicians that Wellbutrin made clients "happy, horny, and ski

tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: I hate to admit this, but Paxil saved my ass many moons ago. I'm so glad to have gotten over getting off it, but I found that chemistry-free living was unmanageable, and now take my meds with the nonchalance of a cigar smoker in Havana. It took years to accept that this was just going to have to be the norm for me, and that I needed 'em to function. I'd love to live free of meds, but I'd hate to go back to where I was. Acceptance sucks, therapy hurts, and remedies mostly cure symptoms, but rarely the diseases (disorders, irregularities, whatever). My point is that it takes years. We have to put in the years. The other options are all bad. And it's incredibly depressing to even talk about our depression most of the time. I wouldn't say that I 'love this thread so much', but maybe there's a picture of a cat who isn't totally happy, but not bummed out, either, somewhere on the internet I can find...

/grateful to the posters
//thankful to the suggesters
///shakas and good vibes to the sufferers

Glad you found something that worked for ya, that can be one of the really difficult things I've found, Paxil for instance did not work for me. Also I'm very bad about stopping the meds once I've been feeling better for awhile, and end up right back where I was. Granted it may take a year sometimes longer but it happens : (


I used to think people who complained about Paxil were just nuttier and in worse shape than me, but then I stopped taking the stuff and thought I was gonna permanently lose it. I'm so glad to have gotten away from it. And while I honestly hate to say it, but trust the meds! It's when we think we don't need them anymore that we need them more than ever...

//hearts to THM!
 
2013-05-10 12:05:31 AM  

Cato: LDM90: Cato: SmackLT: Happy to see that she's back

fark you. No, seriously, fark YOU. This isn't about you and whether or not you can read amusing things on the Internet. This is a human being who is in the middle of the black hole of depression. I don't care if she ever blogs again, as long as she gets the help she needs and can find her way back into the world outside the abyss. I've been there (not nearly as bad as her, but enough to see how terrifying it is) and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I don't care that she was one of the funniest people on the net (and she really was). Her being "back" is irrelevant. Her being ALIVE is.

I think they kinda meant both at the same time. Either way, I'm not sure why it warrants a double Fark you.

Because it's f'n tacky. "Oh, I'm so glad you worked out your issues and no longer want to KILL YOURSELF so that you can be 'back'".

That absolutely deserves a double fark you.


Where did you get that out of a simple one sentence post? Should the poster have taken your reading too much into things and appended it with "on the road to better mental health" or the like? Why do you assume that the poster was being completely selfish?

Seriously, you came across as extremely reactionary.
 
2013-05-10 12:09:27 AM  

Alegria: Kittypie070: One medication I take is actually secondarily prescribed for weight loss and quitting smoking, and while I have not lost any weight, I have not gained any either.

Wellbutrin?  Apparently the pharmaceutical reps back in the 90's were instructed to tell their physicians that Wellbutrin made clients "happy, horny, and skinny."


Yuppers.
 
2013-05-10 12:09:44 AM  

buckler: I really appreciate the good wishes. Thanks, all who offered.


Hey just take care of yourself, and know your not alone a lot of people go through this and please don't do what you were talking about.
/And this is coming from someone that lost 20% of her kidney function doing something stupid but seemed like a good idea at the time.
 
2013-05-10 12:10:12 AM  

traylor: It's called apathy, not depression.


Uhhhhh....lolwut?

Apathy is a symptom of depression.

What you're saying is like saying "It's called blowing your nose, not a cold".
 
2013-05-10 12:13:02 AM  

LDM90: You sound just like my wife. Honestly it drives me nuts. I mean it's nice that she likes it while its happening but how can someone just NEVER think of it? I don't get it. My greatest wish is for an unsolicited BJ. Just one.


So quit pussy-footing around and tell her that.

Communication goes a long way to making the world a better place. Not just with BJs, but with being good and helpful to those with mental disorders instead of shooting stigma barbs.
 
2013-05-10 12:14:24 AM  

Theory Of Null: <b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7743389/84124091#c84124091" target="_blank">buckler</a>:</b> <i><b><a href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7743389/84123996#c84123996" target="_blank">Theory Of Null</a>:</b> <i>buckler: I've been going through a major depression for months now. I'm starting therapy next week because I've found myself eyeballing rope at the store, and determined an anchor point on my back porch where neighborhood children won't see. Told the neighbor that if she found a note on her door asking her to call police and paramedics, she'd know why. My place is a wreck because I can't work up the motivation to do housework, and even personal hygiene is a chore. I would not wish this on my worst enemy.

Sounds like you are in a really bad spot. When my depression creeps back I try to learn something new or do something different.  It motivates me to do other things. What do you like to do in your free time?</i>

Nothing. I can surf the web literally all day. Hard for me to believe I was once a semi-professional cartoonist; nothing seems enjoyable or funny anymore. Getting a visit from a good friend in a couple weeks, and she always makes me feel a little happier</i>

I know what you mean. Seems like I have heard or seen everything at least once before. I would try cartooning again and take another approach to it maybe show your kids. Kids got some crazy imaginations and ideas.

I dunno, but the slightest change in my routine always makes me feel better about other things in life.



Oh my bad I missed the word neighborhood. But yeah I would try to do something new or change it up and good luck man.
 
2013-05-10 12:15:28 AM  

jimmythrust: And while I honestly hate to say it, but trust the meds! It's when we think we don't need them anymore that we need them more than ever...

//hearts to THM!


Yep, if you need them you need em you need them. And everyone's different not all meds work for everyone, finding the right one can be a big thing. And it can be so true about the quitting on the meds.

/Oh, and thank you : )
 
2013-05-10 12:16:02 AM  

Bandito King: torusXL: TheOtherMisterP: I was in a decent mood until I started reading that....comic? Whatever it is. Everything about the page is just freaking creepy to me.

Well, that's what a lot of people are living through.

Are you just gonna ignore them because you feel creeped out about it?

No, I ignore them because it's what they seem to want. And because I desperately want to ignore them myself.

/not everyone has the same type of depression
//sounds like ennui, not depression at all
///some of us just grow the fark up and stop being so goddamn self-absorbed


Wow, you're a complete coward. That's about all I got.
 
2013-05-10 12:18:39 AM  
Awesome.
 
2013-05-10 12:27:24 AM  

mark12A: Creativity is a double edged sword. The hard wiring in your brain that makes you creative also makes you very susceptible to depression. It's the cross creative people just have to bear. I've been depressed since childhood. I've found that St. John's Wort keeps the blackest moods at bay, with only a little hit to my libido.

I bear my cross like a badge of honor. I've invented lots of things, got patents, been complimented on my writing skills, can make people laugh enough for them to seek out my company, even tho I'm weird as hell.

I understand that my feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness DO NOT reflect reality, merely a malfunction in my brain wiring. The Matrix movies sort of clarified that for me. Our perceptions of the world around us are the product of our brains creating our consciousness. Once you understand the processing malfunction is creating the feelings, and not actual facts, it becomes easier to fight off those feelings.

I chug along, like a farm laborer hoeing an endless field, and occasionally a little nugget of happiness or satisfaction turns up and I enjoy it, until the feeling fades and I go back to the dull existence of endlessly hoeing, in hopes of another nugget showing up. My pets help a lot. Keeping other people at arm's length helps, since it avoids potential hurt and angst.

I watch other people leading happy, satisfying lives and wonder how it feels, much like someone born with just one arm watches other people clap. I didn't create this depression, I was born to it. I've learned to live with it, just like the one armed man. I don't fear suicide, I see it as a last resort, like a test pilot being comforted by having an ejection seat to use if it becomes necessary.


Just went the thread again. Those last two paragraphs are just a perfect summation of me, sans pets.
 
2013-05-10 12:31:13 AM  

oMaJoJ: <b><a target="_blank" href="http://www.fark.com/comments/7743389/84123093">mark12A</a>:</b> <i>Creativity is a double edged sword. The hard wiring in your brain that makes you creative also makes you very susceptible to depression. It's the cross creative people just have to bear. I've been depressed since childhood. I've found that St. John's Wort keeps the blackest moods at bay, with only a little hit to my libido.

I bear my cross like a badge of honor. I've invented lots of things, got patents, been complimented on my writing skills, can make people laugh enough for them to seek out my company, even tho I'm weird as hell.

I understand that my feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness DO NOT reflect reality, merely a malfunction in my brain wiring. The Matrix movies sort of clarified that for me. Our perceptions of the world around us are the product of our brains creating our consciousness. Once you understand the processing malfunction is creating the feelings, and not actual facts, it becomes easier to fight off those feelings.

I chug along, like a farm laborer hoeing an endless field, and occasionally a little nugget of happiness or satisfaction turns up and I enjoy it, until the feeling fades and I go back to the dull existence of endlessly hoeing, in hopes of another nugget showing up. My pets help a lot. Keeping other people at arm's length helps, since it avoids potential hurt and angst.

I watch other people leading happy, satisfying lives and wonder how it feels, much like someone born with just one arm watches other people clap. I didn't create this depression, I was born to it. I've learned to live with it, just like the one armed man. I don't fear suicide, I see it as a last resort, like a test pilot being comforted by having an ejection seat to use if it becomes necessary.</i>

Just went the thread again. Those last two paragraphs are just a perfect summation of me, sans pets.


Yeah, well said man.
 
2013-05-10 12:33:32 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: And while I honestly hate to say it, but trust the meds! It's when we think we don't need them anymore that we need them more than ever...

//hearts to THM!

Yep, if you need them you need em you need them. And everyone's different not all meds work for everyone, finding the right one can be a big thing. And it can be so true about the quitting on the meds.

/Oh, and thank you : )


Oh I know they aren't for everyone--and some seem like they aren't for anyone! I just have a stick in my arse about them because a good friend will NOT seek out help and considers medication and therapy to be sorcery and witchcraft. As Brian and Jesus said, "There's just no pleasing some people".

/THM!
//stay awesome
 
2013-05-10 12:48:15 AM  
This piece really, REALLY hit home. Someone very close to me has hit almost every single phase she described, on top of me having my own battles since coming back from AFG. I just hope I don't continue down this path because I need to be there to help now.

/Rooting for her, for the person in my life, and for me.
 
2013-05-10 12:51:53 AM  

jimmythrust: tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: And while I honestly hate to say it, but trust the meds! It's when we think we don't need them anymore that we need them more than ever...

//hearts to THM!

Yep, if you need them you need em you need them. And everyone's different not all meds work for everyone, finding the right one can be a big thing. And it can be so true about the quitting on the meds.

/Oh, and thank you : )

Oh I know they aren't for everyone--and some seem like they aren't for anyone! I just have a stick in my arse about them because a good friend will NOT seek out help and considers medication and therapy to be sorcery and witchcraft. As Brian and Jesus said, "There's just no pleasing some people".

/THM!
//stay awesome


Meds can be great, I just don't want the pill soup I know they are going to want to put me on, and have already attempted. "Oh, lessee, you have anxiety, depression, racing thoughts, nightmares (no I don't!), panic attacks, etc. . .  You need a different med for each symptom, and you'll probably need these meds to counteract the side effects of those meds."

Fark that nonsense.
 
2013-05-10 12:52:29 AM  

Lady Indica: AverageAmericanGuy: I'm surprised at how modern medicine has missed what is so clear to the WebMDs here in this thread. Namely, that depression can be fixed by a good deep dicking.

Fark never ceases to amaze me.

Prozac and my BFF saved my life when I struggled with clinical depression last year. I have severe PMDD. My period stopped when I was sick for 10 years with a neuro disease. (I'd have it induced occasionally). I've struggled with feelings of wanting to commit suicide my entire life after puberty. But when I was in remission, despite the fact that after 10 years I wasn't in severe pain any more...I was crying every farking night and wanting to die. The anxiety was awful. Saw a shrink through my HMO, unfortunately she was a very new shrink and wanted to chalk it all up to essentially my line of work. Except my work and my BFF were the only things keeping me alive.

Got a new primary doc b/c I had moved to the Bay Area, he was phenom. He looked over everything, spent an hour talking to me about various subjects and asked why I was unwilling to try medication. I told him I wasn't unwilling to try ANYTHING. He asked if I would try prozac.

Normally it takes around 6 weeks for them to work. I have enough of a clinical psych. background to be a total pain in the ass. However, with PMDD what I did not know is with some people it works almost instantly.

It was like spending a year farking drowning in a violent sea where you just want to farking give up because it's SO exhausting, and nothingness sounds better than this constant mental anguish.

I had to adjust my prozac once (it stopped working and it came back like gangbusters). I'm on a very low dose, 40mg. I'm very lucky that it works for me and has relatively few side effects. I couldn't orgasm properly for six months. That was ...frustrating in a whole new way. And I love sex. I love it like you cannot imagine I love it. Orgasms are one of THE best things in life, and I pretty much try to have at least one da ...


thanks for sharing your story.  I'm glad you found a couple of good docs who would listen to you and help you.  And who took PMDD seriously.
 
2013-05-10 12:53:18 AM  
Thought I had already lost everything, but went to a bankruptcy hearing on Monday. They noticed I still had a guitar, keyboard and a shred of hope left. They are correcting my oversight. Spent last night with a handful of (metaphorical) dead fish and thinking it would be real helpful if I just had a heart attack.

Skipped work tonight so I could avoid the world and sleep too much. Woke up and stumbled upon this. Wow. I really needed to see both Allie's story and this thread today.

Thanks to all of you who shared your stories.
 
2013-05-10 12:55:00 AM  
No, it is; you just find more creative ways to lie to yourself.
 
2013-05-10 12:58:51 AM  
Good luck to all dealing with their personal mental illnesses.

Not quite as eloquent or brave as Allie to be open about it, but yeah...been there, done that.

The only observation I can made though is that depression can lead to some fantastic dark humour. Used to be able to crack up all the volunteers at the suicide hotline (thank gourd they were there, I was at the point where I was scheduling the time I would spend talking to my friends because I didn;t want toburn them out, and drifting to the point where I was sure I had put too much on them, I was able to rationalize calling suicide hotlines because...hey, they volunteered for this!
 
2013-05-10 01:00:13 AM  
Insanely accurate description of depression.  I wonder how many people would give a shiat if she was fat and ugly though.  Yeah, that's what I thought.
 
2013-05-10 01:01:15 AM  

ultraholland: No, it is; you just find more creative ways to lie to yourself.


Or, you just pay to be drugged back into a state of blissful unawareness.
 
2013-05-10 01:01:20 AM  

daveUSMC: This piece really, REALLY hit home. Someone very close to me has hit almost every single phase she described, on top of me having my own battles since coming back from AFG. I just hope I don't continue down this path because I need to be there to help now.

/Rooting for her, for the person in my life, and for me.


Well remember the best thing you can do for her is to make sure you stay healthy, then just be supportive. Yea, I'm guessing you went through a lot and you do and should talk about that stuff to someone, I mean I can't imagine what that must have been like over there and adjusting to being back. Do take care of your self first and foremost. As I'm sure you know you be a help to anyone if you don't. I understand there is a stigma about seeking help in the military, if that's the case go to someone in private practice.

/Best wishes
 
2013-05-10 01:01:27 AM  

MacWizard: Thought I had already lost everything, but went to a bankruptcy hearing on Monday. They noticed I still had a guitar, keyboard and a shred of hope left. They are correcting my oversight. Spent last night with a handful of (metaphorical) dead fish and thinking it would be real helpful if I just had a heart attack.

Skipped work tonight so I could avoid the world and sleep too much. Woke up and stumbled upon this. Wow. I really needed to see both Allie's story and this thread today.

Thanks to all of you who shared your stories.


Hug/fistbump. I know what that like when you keep moving the goalposts of "I'm still okay because I still have / can do <this>." The latest one for me was my cellphone (been two months now, not likely to be able to afford to get it back). Now, as long as I can keep a little gas in my car. . .

/it's on E right now, but I should be able to fill it up this weekend. Haven't eaten yet today though. . .
 
2013-05-10 01:02:03 AM  

Peki: jimmythrust: tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: And while I honestly hate to say it, but trust the meds! It's when we think we don't need them anymore that we need them more than ever...

//hearts to THM!

Yep, if you need them you need em you need them. And everyone's different not all meds work for everyone, finding the right one can be a big thing. And it can be so true about the quitting on the meds.

/Oh, and thank you : )

Oh I know they aren't for everyone--and some seem like they aren't for anyone! I just have a stick in my arse about them because a good friend will NOT seek out help and considers medication and therapy to be sorcery and witchcraft. As Brian and Jesus said, "There's just no pleasing some people".

/THM!
//stay awesome

Meds can be great, I just don't want the pill soup I know they are going to want to put me on, and have already attempted. "Oh, lessee, you have anxiety, depression, racing thoughts, nightmares (no I don't!), panic attacks, etc. . .  You need a different med for each symptom, and you'll probably need these meds to counteract the side effects of those meds."

Fark that nonsense.


Any doctor wanting to put you on more than two medications is probably a quack, and I couldn't agree with you more! It's not like I went to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College, but if I were you I'd run from the folks who want to over-medicate like that.
 
2013-05-10 01:02:49 AM  
ts4.mm.bing.net
 
2013-05-10 01:06:13 AM  

jimmythrust: Any doctor wanting to put you on more than two medications is probably a quack,


Fark: These were county docs at the free clinic.

/I can has socialized healthcare nao?
 
2013-05-10 01:07:07 AM  

Peki: jimmythrust: tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: And while I honestly hate to say it, but trust the meds! It's when we think we don't need them anymore that we need them more than ever...

//hearts to THM!

Yep, if you need them you need em you need them. And everyone's different not all meds work for everyone, finding the right one can be a big thing. And it can be so true about the quitting on the meds.

/Oh, and thank you : )

Oh I know they aren't for everyone--and some seem like they aren't for anyone! I just have a stick in my arse about them because a good friend will NOT seek out help and considers medication and therapy to be sorcery and witchcraft. As Brian and Jesus said, "There's just no pleasing some people".

/THM!
//stay awesome

Meds can be great, I just don't want the pill soup I know they are going to want to put me on, and have already attempted. "Oh, lessee, you have anxiety, depression, racing thoughts, nightmares (no I don't!), panic attacks, etc. . .  You need a different med for each symptom, and you'll probably need these meds to counteract the side effects of those meds."

Fark that nonsense.


Ya, I'd say get away from whoever was saying that.
One pill can generally do it all, believe me I've had some crazy people put me on some crazy stuff that was all wrong. As in ,no lithium want work I'm not bipolar. If I was, from what I've read half the stuff I have taken would have sent me into a manic state.Then it get's worse.

/It did get better though
 
2013-05-10 01:11:05 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: daveUSMC: This piece really, REALLY hit home. Someone very close to me has hit almost every single phase she described, on top of me having my own battles since coming back from AFG. I just hope I don't continue down this path because I need to be there to help now.

/Rooting for her, for the person in my life, and for me.

Well remember the best thing you can do for her is to make sure you stay healthy...


Haha, that's what I tell HER all the time. I think we bust each other out of our depression with our own worse depression. Every time I'm feeling that glazed over "wait, what exactly is it in this world that I give a fark about?" malaise, a good freakout from the better half snaps me out of it when I go into protection mode.

/That is depressing in it of itself.
//The worst part is waiting for the bad days and feeling angry at myself for being complacent during the good days.
 
2013-05-10 01:17:55 AM  

snortimer: Insanely accurate description of depression.  I wonder how many people would give a shiat if she was fat and ugly though.  Yeah, that's what I thought.


I would. I might be bi, but she's not my type. I just think she's a funny farking lady who deserves to have a good life. I became a fan without ever knowing what she looked like.
 
2013-05-10 01:22:42 AM  
TaterTot_HotDish:

I liked a lot of your posts in this thread. Come hang out with us in TFD.
 
2013-05-10 01:22:50 AM  

lucasorvis: This is officially my favorite fark thread EVER.  Well...minus the trolls.  For the first time since I was 21 or so I don't feel completely alone in my worldview and attitude.  SO AWESOME.


You're not alone.
 
2013-05-10 01:24:25 AM  

daveUSMC: tinfoil-hat maggie: daveUSMC: This piece really, REALLY hit home. Someone very close to me has hit almost every single phase she described, on top of me having my own battles since coming back from AFG. I just hope I don't continue down this path because I need to be there to help now.

/Rooting for her, for the person in my life, and for me.

Well remember the best thing you can do for her is to make sure you stay healthy...

Haha, that's what I tell HER all the time. I think we bust each other out of our depression with our own worse depression. Every time I'm feeling that glazed over "wait, what exactly is it in this world that I give a fark about?" malaise, a good freakout from the better half snaps me out of it when I go into protection mode.

/That is depressing in it of itself.
//The worst part is waiting for the bad days and feeling angry at myself for being complacent during the good days.


Well, I do hope you both find therapist to talk to and if necessary the meds if you need them. I'm sure you've both been through a helluva a lot, and sometimes talking to a neutral third party or second party helps.

I know it may sound weird but I was once diagnosed with PTSD after a mugging. Just one single flash in time changed how I look at the world. I still can't walk in a parking lot and feel completely safe.
 
2013-05-10 01:25:33 AM  
What's really important here is that she's cute.

farm5.static.flickr.com
 
2013-05-10 01:25:39 AM  

Peki: jimmythrust: Any doctor wanting to put you on more than two medications is probably a quack,

Fark: These were county docs at the free clinic.

/I can has socialized healthcare nao?


Can you afford to see an honest-to-god psychiatrist? If so, it's worth the hit to the wallet. They know brains a helluva lot better than GP's.

Medical advances supersede any political persuasion--social medicine or the train we're on now has little to do with what's best for one's mental health.
 
2013-05-10 01:25:43 AM  

TinyFist: TaterTot_HotDish:

I liked a lot of your posts in this thread. Come hang out with us in TFD.


wow, thanks!  :)
 
2013-05-10 01:27:24 AM  

susansto-helit: snortimer: Insanely accurate description of depression.  I wonder how many people would give a shiat if she was fat and ugly though.  Yeah, that's what I thought.

I would. I might be bi, but she's not my type. I just think she's a funny farking lady who deserves to have a good life. I became a fan without ever knowing what she looked like.


Cool, and yea I can't see why how she looks or that she's a she maters. Speak the truth and people ear and respond to that.
 
2013-05-10 01:27:47 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: daveUSMC: tinfoil-hat maggie: daveUSMC: This piece really, REALLY hit home. Someone very close to me has hit almost every single phase she described, on top of me having my own battles since coming back from AFG. I just hope I don't continue down this path because I need to be there to help now.

/Rooting for her, for the person in my life, and for me.

Well remember the best thing you can do for her is to make sure you stay healthy...

Haha, that's what I tell HER all the time. I think we bust each other out of our depression with our own worse depression. Every time I'm feeling that glazed over "wait, what exactly is it in this world that I give a fark about?" malaise, a good freakout from the better half snaps me out of it when I go into protection mode.

/That is depressing in it of itself.
//The worst part is waiting for the bad days and feeling angry at myself for being complacent during the good days.

Well, I do hope you both find therapist to talk to and if necessary the meds if you need them. I'm sure you've both been through a helluva a lot, and sometimes talking to a neutral third party or second party helps.

I know it may sound weird but I was once diagnosed with PTSD after a mugging. Just one single flash in time changed how I look at the world. I still can't walk in a parking lot and feel completely safe.


Did you get a gun? I hear that's supposed to cure feelings of unsafeness immediately.
 
2013-05-10 01:28:36 AM  

VTGremlin: These threads are always a valuable read.


I agree
 
2013-05-10 01:30:30 AM  
Is this the thread where we talk about our screwed up heads?

Yay for bi-polar disorder.

fark bi-polar disorder.

//Someone please pay attention to me, please.
//Why the fark wont you just leave me alone?
 
2013-05-10 01:30:50 AM  

jimmythrust: Peki: jimmythrust: Any doctor wanting to put you on more than two medications is probably a quack,

Fark: These were county docs at the free clinic.

/I can has socialized healthcare nao?

Can you afford to see an honest-to-god psychiatrist? If so, it's worth the hit to the wallet. They know brains a helluva lot better than GP's.

Medical advances supersede any political persuasion--social medicine or the train we're on now has little to do with what's best for one's mental health.


Nope. We (fiance and I) bring in on average $100 a week. No bills, but half of that goes to gas between school and his job, and my volunteer work at church. Up shiat's creek without a turd for a paddle until the income bumps up, and there's a lot of things in line before "psych treatment for Peki." Like a new pair of glasses. :/

Seriously, at this point I think it's going to take charity of some point to get what I need. I'll have to meet someone, tell my story, and they hook up something. *shrug*

Meantime, I've got stuff to do, so I'll deal as best I can.
 
2013-05-10 01:31:41 AM  
PARP
 
2013-05-10 01:33:24 AM  

Gyrfalcon: tinfoil-hat maggie: daveUSMC: tinfoil-hat maggie: daveUSMC: This piece really, REALLY hit home. Someone very close to me has hit almost every single phase she described, on top of me having my own battles since coming back from AFG. I just hope I don't continue down this path because I need to be there to help now.

/Rooting for her, for the person in my life, and for me.

Well remember the best thing you can do for her is to make sure you stay healthy...

Haha, that's what I tell HER all the time. I think we bust each other out of our depression with our own worse depression. Every time I'm feeling that glazed over "wait, what exactly is it in this world that I give a fark about?" malaise, a good freakout from the better half snaps me out of it when I go into protection mode.

/That is depressing in it of itself.
//The worst part is waiting for the bad days and feeling angry at myself for being complacent during the good days.

Well, I do hope you both find therapist to talk to and if necessary the meds if you need them. I'm sure you've both been through a helluva a lot, and sometimes talking to a neutral third party or second party helps.

I know it may sound weird but I was once diagnosed with PTSD after a mugging. Just one single flash in time changed how I look at the world. I still can't walk in a parking lot and feel completely safe.

Did you get a gun? I hear that's supposed to cure feelings of unsafeness immediately.


I've thought about it but there's only one reason I'd get a gun and it's not a good one. I really do need to get the key chain pepper spray, although as it is when I walk in a parking lot I hold my keys so I can stab or punch with them. So there's that.

/Oh and my family only owns long guns, so
 
2013-05-10 01:36:21 AM  

Springy23: Is this the thread where we talk about our screwed up heads?

Yay for bi-polar disorder.

fark bi-polar disorder.

//Someone please pay attention to me, please.
//Why the fark wont you just leave me alone?


Dude my aunt and brother are bi-polar, it's one of the reasons so many people wanted to treat me for that. It's interesting but not fun.
 
2013-05-10 01:43:28 AM  
fark. Glad shes alive. Frankly, i thought the last article before this was a suicide note.

she just made me cry, as i realize that although i thought i was through the ahsolute worst of it, im still mostly in the "cant give a fark about anything" or "farking hate everything" phase.

maybe shes the next step before i find the corn.
 
2013-05-10 01:44:42 AM  

eventhelosers: For me it was porn not corn but cool.


What exactly did you find that was shriveled up under the fridge?
 
2013-05-10 01:44:55 AM  

Glockenspiel Hero: Reading this thread has been fascinating- I splash around in the kiddie pool of depression compared to many folks here but it's still a huge drag on things.  Two things that help these days

1) I finally bit the bullet and went on bupropion a few months back.  It's a fascinating drug- the effects are quite subtle at any given moment but in hindsight it really takes the edge off the things that use to start a depressive spiral.  I don't obsess anywhere near as much on the negative things in my life, and I've been a little more stable at the moment something bad's happening.
2) I took up guitar a few years back.  Allowing myself to suck at something actually is pretty liberating. I'm total crap.   I have *no* musical talent at all.  But nobody expects me to play well.  *I* don't expect me to play well.  I fail (and flail) at it daily, and when I'm done sucking I go back to the real world.

For those in the deep end- keep paddling.

(Bizarre bit- I had been reading this thread before practicing.  I decided to learn something new today, so I picked Iron Maiden's "Can I Play With Madness".  I was 20 minutes into learning it when I suddenly realized...)


That's how the bupropion works for me, too. Some of the other anti-depressants I've taken were awful; either I had crazy side-effects or it felt like I had a mind wipe. This stuff...at a given point in time, I can't say exactly what, if anything, it's doing. But in the long-term, it helps me wake up and face the day without feeling detached or like I'm looking at the world through some kind of weird lens that makes everything look...unreal.

I got completely hooked on learning how to ride and wrench on my motorcycle. It focuses me and makes me smile that kind of smile where you feel like it's gonna split your face in half. It's the first time I've felt that way about anything in a long time. One of the things I hate about depression is that it sucks the fun out of everything you used to enjoy, or at least it did for me.
 
2013-05-10 01:49:00 AM  

Peki: jimmythrust: Peki: jimmythrust: Any doctor wanting to put you on more than two medications is probably a quack,

Fark: These were county docs at the free clinic.

/I can has socialized healthcare nao?

Can you afford to see an honest-to-god psychiatrist? If so, it's worth the hit to the wallet. They know brains a helluva lot better than GP's.

Medical advances supersede any political persuasion--social medicine or the train we're on now has little to do with what's best for one's mental health.

Nope. We (fiance and I) bring in on average $100 a week. No bills, but half of that goes to gas between school and his job, and my volunteer work at church. Up shiat's creek without a turd for a paddle until the income bumps up, and there's a lot of things in line before "psych treatment for Peki." Like a new pair of glasses. :/

Seriously, at this point I think it's going to take charity of some point to get what I need. I'll have to meet someone, tell my story, and they hook up something. *shrug*

Meantime, I've got stuff to do, so I'll deal as best I can.


Maybe get the scrips at the clinic and throw most of them away? Any one of the main SSRIs or MAOIs for depression can be game-changers. Just stay away some of the anti-anxiety meds...

I'll spare you the platitudes, but I know several farkers who have benefited from the kindness of other farkers, so there's always that if you have few local options. The net can, on occasion, be used for good and not porno.

//NTTAWWPr0n
///just don't do it to pay bills
///too many slashies :-)
 
2013-05-10 01:50:27 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Springy23: Is this the thread where we talk about our screwed up heads?

Yay for bi-polar disorder.

fark bi-polar disorder.

//Someone please pay attention to me, please.
//Why the fark wont you just leave me alone?

Dude my aunt and brother are bi-polar, it's one of the reasons so many people wanted to treat me for that. It's interesting but not fun.


This comic and Aly's first comic about depression hit really close to home. My roommate, god bless his soul, has had to put up with a lot over the last five years. He posted upthread and he's been responsible for literally saving my life at least twice (as in he loosened the belt around my neck). I owe him more than I could ever express.

Thank you Nobleham. I'm sorry I'm such a pain, a drag, and a lit fire. I love you and I'm doing my best to learn how to express that. Your patience and your belief in me will always be appreciated, even if I'm a shiathead about showing it sometimes and I do my best to ruin what I've built. I'm grateful that no matter how bleak my brain gets, I can count a million times over on your support.
 
2013-05-10 01:55:20 AM  

Springy23: tinfoil-hat maggie: Springy23: Is this the thread where we talk about our screwed up heads?

Yay for bi-polar disorder.

fark bi-polar disorder.

//Someone please pay attention to me, please.
//Why the fark wont you just leave me alone?

Dude my aunt and brother are bi-polar, it's one of the reasons so many people wanted to treat me for that. It's interesting but not fun.

This comic and Aly's first comic about depression hit really close to home. My roommate, god bless his soul, has had to put up with a lot over the last five years. He posted upthread and he's been responsible for literally saving my life at least twice (as in he loosened the belt around my neck). I owe him more than I could ever express.

Thank you Nobleham. I'm sorry I'm such a pain, a drag, and a lit fire. I love you and I'm doing my best to learn how to express that. Your patience and your belief in me will always be appreciated, even if I'm a shiathead about showing it sometimes and I do my best to ruin what I've built. I'm grateful that no matter how bleak my brain gets, I can count a million times over on your support.

 
2013-05-10 01:55:53 AM  

Peki: jimmythrust: Peki: jimmythrust: Any doctor wanting to put you on more than two medications is probably a quack,

Fark: These were county docs at the free clinic.

/I can has socialized healthcare nao?

Can you afford to see an honest-to-god psychiatrist? If so, it's worth the hit to the wallet. They know brains a helluva lot better than GP's.

Medical advances supersede any political persuasion--social medicine or the train we're on now has little to do with what's best for one's mental health.

Nope. We (fiance and I) bring in on average $100 a week. No bills, but half of that goes to gas between school and his job, and my volunteer work at church. Up shiat's creek without a turd for a paddle until the income bumps up, and there's a lot of things in line before "psych treatment for Peki." Like a new pair of glasses. :/

Seriously, at this point I think it's going to take charity of some point to get what I need. I'll have to meet someone, tell my story, and they hook up something. *shrug*

Meantime, I've got stuff to do, so I'll deal as best I can.


As a former poor person with mental problems, I'd highly recommend County if you have a good one...but stay the hell away if you live in, say LA or someplace similar that is strapped for cash. You will never get in.

Meanwhile, have you tried Costco? I just discovered to my amazement that prescriptions there are about a quarter of what I used to pay--my Topamax is over $200 at CVS, but $13 at Costco, so the membership fee is totally worth it. My Zoloft is about the same (I use generics of both). If you can get a clinic to write you the scripts, with refills, you could manage for three or four months that way...
 
2013-05-10 01:56:11 AM  

torusXL: Bandito King: torusXL: TheOtherMisterP: I was in a decent mood until I started reading that....comic? Whatever it is. Everything about the page is just freaking creepy to me.

Well, that's what a lot of people are living through.

Are you just gonna ignore them because you feel creeped out about it?

No, I ignore them because it's what they seem to want. And because I desperately want to ignore them myself.

/not everyone has the same type of depression
//sounds like ennui, not depression at all
///some of us just grow the fark up and stop being so goddamn self-absorbed

Wow, you're a complete coward. That's about all I got.


I would normally have something biting to say in reply but... wha? I'm having trouble seeing how you got cowardice out of what I typed. I could see 'mean' or 'lack of empathy' or 'potential troll'. I just don't understand your response.
 
2013-05-10 01:56:54 AM  

Springy23: tinfoil-hat maggie: Springy23: Is this the thread where we talk about our screwed up heads?

Yay for bi-polar disorder.

fark bi-polar disorder.

//Someone please pay attention to me, please.
//Why the fark wont you just leave me alone?

Dude my aunt and brother are bi-polar, it's one of the reasons so many people wanted to treat me for that. It's interesting but not fun.

This comic and Aly's first comic about depression hit really close to home. My roommate, god bless his soul, has had to put up with a lot over the last five years. He posted upthread and he's been responsible for literally saving my life at least twice (as in he loosened the belt around my neck). I owe him more than I could ever express.

Thank you Nobleham. I'm sorry I'm such a pain, a drag, and a lit fire. I love you and I'm doing my best to learn how to express that. Your patience and your belief in me will always be appreciated, even if I'm a shiathead about showing it sometimes and I do my best to ruin what I've built. I'm grateful that no matter how bleak my brain gets, I can count a million times over on your support.


That is so great of you. And so great of your noble friend. There is always something around to alleviate the pain of life in a good way. Or, at least, a way that's better than trying to snap your own neck. Help, aid, assistance, and support are all things that are always closer than we think--especially when we are at our lowest.
 
2013-05-10 02:06:34 AM  

Bandito King: I would normally have something biting to say in reply but... wha? I'm having trouble seeing how you got cowardice out of what I typed. I could see 'mean' or 'lack of empathy' or 'potential troll'. I just don't understand your response.


Should I just quote you to you? Guess that's what it takes with ignoramuses like you. 

Bandito King: I desperately want to ignore them myself.


It's cowardice because you say that your fear of depressed people is more important to you than is lending a helping hand to depressed people - who are in reality good people with the misfortune of a kinked up nervous system.
 
2013-05-10 02:11:39 AM  

jimmythrust: I'll spare you the platitudes, but I know several farkers who have benefited from the kindness of other farkers, so there's always that if you have few local options. The net can, on occasion, be used for good and not porno.


Like I've posted in a previous thread and like some posters in this thread, anyone who feels they're having trouble finding someone to listen, feel totally free to contact me (EIP).

Cross my heart, hope to die, you'll receive no judging from me. Just good ol' listening and empathy. Promise I won't be pulling a Bandito King.
 
2013-05-10 02:12:03 AM  

torusXL:
Should I just quote you to you? Guess that's what it takes with ignoramuses like you.
It's cowardice because you say that your fear of depressed people is more important to you than is lending a helping hand to depressed people - who are in reality good people with the misfortune of a kinked up nervous system.


Well said and although Poe's law says maybe not I'm thinking he's just trolling for an argument, either way he's an idiot.
 
2013-05-10 02:17:15 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Meanwhile, have you tried Costco? I just discovered to my amazement that prescriptions there are about a quarter of what I used to pay--my Topamax is over $200 at CVS, but $13 at Costco, so the membership fee is totally worth it. My Zoloft is about the same (I use generics of both). If you can get a clinic to write you the scripts, with refills, you could manage for three or four months that way...


CVS is the most expensive pharmacy I have found, although that's crazy Costco is so much lower. I get my meds from overseas cheaper than I could here but I may have to check out Costco, wow.
 
2013-05-10 02:19:26 AM  
God damned finally!!!
 
2013-05-10 02:32:17 AM  

torusXL: It's cowardice because you say that your fear of depressed people is more important to you than is lending a helping hand to depressed people - who are in reality good people with the misfortune of a kinked up nervous system.


*clears throat*

...I think the worst thing about the medicalization of depression is that it takes whole universes of human experience and understanding, and discards them as nothing more than symptoms of a malfunctioning brain...and all simply because those worlds happen to be unpleasant, either to the person inhabiting said world, or (just as often) those around them.

Seems kinda farked up, to me.

*shrugs*

i3.ytimg.com
 
2013-05-10 02:34:09 AM  

Hal5423: God damned finally!!!


Finally?
 
2013-05-10 02:40:33 AM  
This is hitting home for me.  I've dealt with depression for years, been on Celexa for...a long time.  60mg was keeping me stable, then the FDA put out a warning that that dosage wasn't safe anymore and then back I went down to 40.

I did okay for awhile, but I can start to feel the depression creeping back.

I hate this feeling.
 
2013-05-10 02:48:20 AM  

Bumblefark: torusXL: It's cowardice because you say that your fear of depressed people is more important to you than is lending a helping hand to depressed people - who are in reality good people with the misfortune of a kinked up nervous system.

*clears throat*

...I think the worst thing about the medicalization of depression is that it takes whole universes of human experience and understanding, and discards them as nothing more than symptoms of a malfunctioning brain...and all simply because those worlds happen to be unpleasant, either to the person inhabiting said world, or (just as often) those around them.

Seems kinda farked up, to me.

*shrugs*


Well you seem kind of f'd up to me, are some people over medicated? I'm sure they are but for those that need it psychiatric meds , they are a good thing and we really wouldn't function in society no mater what it was like.
 
2013-05-10 02:49:18 AM  

not_an_indigo: This is hitting home for me.  I've dealt with depression for years, been on Celexa for...a long time.  60mg was keeping me stable, then the FDA put out a warning that that dosage wasn't safe anymore and then back I went down to 40.

I did okay for awhile, but I can start to feel the depression creeping back.

I hate this feeling.


Go talk to your professionals. It's ok to do that.
 
2013-05-10 02:49:23 AM  

torusXL: Bandito King: I would normally have something biting to say in reply but... wha? I'm having trouble seeing how you got cowardice out of what I typed. I could see 'mean' or 'lack of empathy' or 'potential troll'. I just don't understand your response.

Should I just quote you to you? Guess that's what it takes with ignoramuses like you. 

Bandito King: I desperately want to ignore them myself.

It's cowardice because you say that your fear of depressed people is more important to you than is lending a helping hand to depressed people - who are in reality good people with the misfortune of a kinked up nervous system.


I don't know if it's entirely fair to dismiss the inability to deal with people who are clinically depressed is cowardice. I was in a live-in relationship with someone who was clinically depressed. When you're just trying to be supportive and just about everything you try to do gets summarily ignored or thrown back at your face, what else is there to do? And what about when the person in question actually starts becoming hostile in response? What then?
 
2013-05-10 02:55:35 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Bumblefark: torusXL: It's cowardice because you say that your fear of depressed people is more important to you than is lending a helping hand to depressed people - who are in reality good people with the misfortune of a kinked up nervous system.

*clears throat*

...I think the worst thing about the medicalization of depression is that it takes whole universes of human experience and understanding, and discards them as nothing more than symptoms of a malfunctioning brain...and all simply because those worlds happen to be unpleasant, either to the person inhabiting said world, or (just as often) those around them.

Seems kinda farked up, to me.

*shrugs*

Well you seem kind of f'd up to me, are some people over medicated? I'm sure they are but for those that need it psychiatric meds , they are a good thing and we really wouldn't function in society no mater what it was like.


Yeah...that wasn't the point I was making. But, go ahead and stab aimlessly in the dark if it cheers you up.
 
2013-05-10 02:57:14 AM  

jimmythrust: not_an_indigo: This is hitting home for me.  I've dealt with depression for years, been on Celexa for...a long time.  60mg was keeping me stable, then the FDA put out a warning that that dosage wasn't safe anymore and then back I went down to 40.

I did okay for awhile, but I can start to feel the depression creeping back.

I hate this feeling.

Go talk to your professionals. It's ok to do that.


Yea 60 mg of Celexa is a lot, something else out there is probably better suited for you. I mean my dosage was only 10mg on Celaxa. Now back to taking 20mg of Paxil but I'm sort of doing it every other day right now so I don't feel nothing. At first I was doing 20mg a day when I was in a bad way.
 
2013-05-10 02:59:34 AM  

Bumblefark: tinfoil-hat maggie: Bumblefark: torusXL: It's cowardice because you say that your fear of depressed people is more important to you than is lending a helping hand to depressed people - who are in reality good people with the misfortune of a kinked up nervous system.

*clears throat*

...I think the worst thing about the medicalization of depression is that it takes whole universes of human experience and understanding, and discards them as nothing more than symptoms of a malfunctioning brain...and all simply because those worlds happen to be unpleasant, either to the person inhabiting said world, or (just as often) those around them.

Seems kinda farked up, to me.

*shrugs*

Well you seem kind of f'd up to me, are some people over medicated? I'm sure they are but for those that need it psychiatric meds , they are a good thing and we really wouldn't function in society no mater what it was like.

Yeah...that wasn't the point I was making. But, go ahead and stab aimlessly in the dark if it cheers you up.


I, for one, am thrilled at the medicalization of what would have previously had me committed to a sanitarium.  I'd rather appear normal-ish to some and have a job few would dare to try.
 
2013-05-10 02:59:44 AM  

Bumblefark: Yeah...that wasn't the point I was making. But, go ahead and stab aimlessly in the dark if it cheers you up.


Meh, I don't believe you have a point other than trolling with some absurd argument.
 
2013-05-10 03:06:22 AM  

jimmythrust: I, for one, am thrilled at the medicalization of what would have previously had me committed to a sanitarium. I'd rather appear normal-ish to some and have a job few would dare to try.


Yea, pretty much but back in those days I would have been sent there for other reasons O_ 0
 
2013-05-10 03:07:00 AM  

jimmythrust: Bumblefark: tinfoil-hat maggie: Bumblefark: torusXL: It's cowardice because you say that your fear of depressed people is more important to you than is lending a helping hand to depressed people - who are in reality good people with the misfortune of a kinked up nervous system.

*clears throat*

...I think the worst thing about the medicalization of depression is that it takes whole universes of human experience and understanding, and discards them as nothing more than symptoms of a malfunctioning brain...and all simply because those worlds happen to be unpleasant, either to the person inhabiting said world, or (just as often) those around them.

Seems kinda farked up, to me.

*shrugs*

Well you seem kind of f'd up to me, are some people over medicated? I'm sure they are but for those that need it psychiatric meds , they are a good thing and we really wouldn't function in society no mater what it was like.

Yeah...that wasn't the point I was making. But, go ahead and stab aimlessly in the dark if it cheers you up.

I, for one, am thrilled at the medicalization of what would have previously had me committed to a sanitarium.  I'd rather appear normal-ish to some and have a job few would dare to try.


Good on you.

Me, I wouldn't give up my way of looking at the world, even if someone threatened to lock me up in a sanitarium for it. Doesn't mean I begrudge anyone the choice of treatment. This isn't some weird, "deaf-pride" thing...
 
2013-05-10 03:09:42 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: not_an_indigo: This is hitting home for me.  I've dealt with depression for years, been on Celexa for...a long time.  60mg was keeping me stable, then the FDA put out a warning that that dosage wasn't safe anymore and then back I went down to 40.

I did okay for awhile, but I can start to feel the depression creeping back.

I hate this feeling.

Go talk to your professionals. It's ok to do that.

Yea 60 mg of Celexa is a lot, something else out there is probably better suited for you. I mean my dosage was only 10mg on Celaxa. Now back to taking 20mg of Paxil but I'm sort of doing it every other day right now so I don't feel nothing. At first I was doing 20mg a day when I was in a bad way.


Paxil works for you? I loved it until I tried to get off it--brain freezes, vertigo, all that class-action lawsuit stuff. But it made me "normal" and actually extra-horny, and I'm much better off on 50 mg of Zoloft--it's like Paxil Junior without the side effects.
 
2013-05-10 03:10:21 AM  

torusXL: Bandito King: I would normally have something biting to say in reply but... wha? I'm having trouble seeing how you got cowardice out of what I typed. I could see 'mean' or 'lack of empathy' or 'potential troll'. I just don't understand your response.

Should I just quote you to you? Guess that's what it takes with ignoramuses like you. 

Bandito King: I desperately want to ignore them myself.

It's cowardice because you say that your fear of depressed people is more important to you than is lending a helping hand to depressed people - who are in reality good people with the misfortune of a kinked up nervous system.


Ohhhhhh! No, you misunderstand. I'm not threatened by them, I find them irritating. See, my farked up nervous system gives me the 'rage' and it's exacerbated by mopey little shiats like this. So sorry I can't be bothered to filter it like I do when I'm out in the world but eh, it's fark. Plus, you know, I couldn't give less of a damn about your feelings.

Most people are expected to cope. Depressed people just give up and let themselves be overwhelmed by the monumental task of getting out of bed. You want me to empathize with that? I'd rather euthanize them. So it's best for my sanity and theirs if they just keep it to themselves like an... what's the word... oh, adult. You don't matter. Your feelings don't matter. Get over it or kill yourself. But for chrissakes, Shut. The. fark. Up. About it.
 
2013-05-10 03:20:51 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Bumblefark: Yeah...that wasn't the point I was making. But, go ahead and stab aimlessly in the dark if it cheers you up.

Meh, I don't believe you have a point other than trolling with some absurd argument.


Oh, stop. I posted one comment suggesting that I wasn't thrilled with the idea of dismissing the total sum of depressive ideation as the result of a "kinked up nervous system." From that, you inferred I'm some anti-med zealot. And, somehow, that makes me a troll...

kay.
 
2013-05-10 03:29:54 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Gyrfalcon: Meanwhile, have you tried Costco? I just discovered to my amazement that prescriptions there are about a quarter of what I used to pay--my Topamax is over $200 at CVS, but $13 at Costco, so the membership fee is totally worth it. My Zoloft is about the same (I use generics of both). If you can get a clinic to write you the scripts, with refills, you could manage for three or four months that way...

CVS is the most expensive pharmacy I have found, although that's crazy Costco is so much lower. I get my meds from overseas cheaper than I could here but I may have to check out Costco, wow.


Check it out, it was absolutely astonishing. I did some checking when I lost my insurance, and really....from $200 to $13 or $18...I mean, something's definitely amiss with the pharmaceutical market.
 
2013-05-10 03:32:13 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: I, for one, am thrilled at the medicalization of what would have previously had me committed to a sanitarium. I'd rather appear normal-ish to some and have a job few would dare to try.

Yea, pretty much but back in those days I would have been sent there for other reasons O_ 0


I remember reading Hammer of the Gods, the crappy Zeppelin tell-all, wherein the boyos claimed to chase the girls hospitalized for chronic masturbation...was that your problem as well? Cuz I hear ya, sister! :-)
 
2013-05-10 03:36:35 AM  

megarian: I don't want so sound like something I'm not. I like things about sex. I have never had an orgasm and that's not my focus. I like being physical and look at it as a sport...as in I want to make the other person have a really REALLY good time. So that's the goal and I am willing to work for it. But as far as me getting off? Not going to happen. I can do it manually but it takes a while and is not worth the effort. I like sex, though. I get a lot of information and mental pleasure through sex. I like aerobic activity.


transformedandscaled.com
 
2013-05-10 03:37:35 AM  

jimmythrust: tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: not_an_indigo: This is hitting home for me.  I've dealt with depression for years, been on Celexa for...a long time.  60mg was keeping me stable, then the FDA put out a warning that that dosage wasn't safe anymore and then back I went down to 40.

I did okay for awhile, but I can start to feel the depression creeping back.

I hate this feeling.

Go talk to your professionals. It's ok to do that.

Yea 60 mg of Celexa is a lot, something else out there is probably better suited for you. I mean my dosage was only 10mg on Celaxa. Now back to taking 20mg of Paxil but I'm sort of doing it every other day right now so I don't feel nothing. At first I was doing 20mg a day when I was in a bad way.

Paxil works for you? I loved it until I tried to get off it--brain freezes, vertigo, all that class-action lawsuit stuff. But it made me "normal" and actually extra-horny, and I'm much better off on 50 mg of Zoloft--it's like Paxil Junior without the side effects.


I went off it no problem about a year and a half ago maybe its closer to two years now but no problems. I was on 20mg a day. Getting back on it was tough though I felt like well my brain was seizing for a month, I don't remember that from the last time but then I was in a really bad way and this time I went back on because I was going there.

Oh and I 'm taking Prozac not Paxil, I have taken Paxil truthfully that time was so long ago I don't really remember it but that it wasn't working out for me. I've tried lots of meds over the years, it get's frustrating at times. Sometimes they work as prescribed but the side effects are to much and some times they don't really work at all.
 
2013-05-10 03:48:17 AM  

Gyrfalcon: tinfoil-hat maggie: Gyrfalcon: Meanwhile, have you tried Costco? I just discovered to my amazement that prescriptions there are about a quarter of what I used to pay--my Topamax is over $200 at CVS, but $13 at Costco, so the membership fee is totally worth it. My Zoloft is about the same (I use generics of both). If you can get a clinic to write you the scripts, with refills, you could manage for three or four months that way...

CVS is the most expensive pharmacy I have found, although that's crazy Costco is so much lower. I get my meds from overseas cheaper than I could here but I may have to check out Costco, wow.

Check it out, it was absolutely astonishing. I did some checking when I lost my insurance, and really....from $200 to $13 or $18...I mean, something's definitely amiss with the pharmaceutical market.


Cool, I'll have to look into that and here I thought I was all savey getting my pills from New Zealand through a UK company, maybe I should give the Chinese a chance.
 
2013-05-10 03:50:47 AM  

Bandito King: Ohhhhhh! No, you misunderstand. I'm not threatened by them, I find them irritating. See, my farked up nervous system gives me the 'rage' and it's exacerbated by mopey little shiats like this. So sorry I can't be bothered to filter it like I do when I'm out in the world but eh, it's fark. Plus, you know, I couldn't give less of a damn about your feelings.

Most people are expected to cope. Depressed people just give up and let themselves be overwhelmed by the monumental task of getting out of bed. You want me to empathize with that? I'd rather euthanize them. So it's best for my sanity and theirs if they just keep it to themselves like an... what's the word... oh, adult. You don't matter. Your feelings don't matter. Get over it or kill yourself. But for chrissakes, Shut. The. fark. Up. About it.


So...what you're really trying to say is you're not a coward, you're just a raging sociopathic asshat?
 
2013-05-10 03:53:17 AM  

jimmythrust: tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: I, for one, am thrilled at the medicalization of what would have previously had me committed to a sanitarium. I'd rather appear normal-ish to some and have a job few would dare to try.

Yea, pretty much but back in those days I would have been sent there for other reasons O_ 0

I remember reading Hammer of the Gods, the crappy Zeppelin tell-all, wherein the boyos claimed to chase the girls hospitalized for chronic masturbation...was that your problem as well? Cuz I hear ya, sister! :-)


I remember my first stay in a mental ward there was a girl like that but I don't think anyone would have chased her.
/Sorry
//And no that's not what I was thinking but I probably have had enough suicide attempts to keep me in in the old days.
 
2013-05-10 04:02:33 AM  
Wow, that comic and this thread are both just simply amazing and I'm glad I took the time to read it all.

Her first comic about depression and the internal dialog that eventually degenerates into a spiral of self-loathing and apathy was so dead on that I actually had to stop reading it and just hug my knees for a little while.

Anyway, as hippy-drum-circleish as this sounds, I just want everyone who is battling or has battled depression to have the chance to experience joy again and truly know that things can get better. If hugs and hot chocolate truly had magical psychological healing powers, I'd spend my life dishing them out to everyone. Sadly, and thankfully, human beings aren't that simple.

/hopelessly optimistic, despite often overwhelming evidence to the contrary
//marshmallows in hot chocolate are the key
 
2013-05-10 04:04:04 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: I, for one, am thrilled at the medicalization of what would have previously had me committed to a sanitarium. I'd rather appear normal-ish to some and have a job few would dare to try.

Yea, pretty much but back in those days I would have been sent there for other reasons O_ 0

I remember reading Hammer of the Gods, the crappy Zeppelin tell-all, wherein the boyos claimed to chase the girls hospitalized for chronic masturbation...was that your problem as well? Cuz I hear ya, sister! :-)

I remember my first stay in a mental ward there was a girl like that but I don't think anyone would have chased her.
/Sorry
//And no that's not what I was thinking but I probably have had enough suicide attempts to keep me in in the old days.


Well, that's the one thing where it's ok to try and to fail. We are glad that you are here, and you should be as well, As for the meds--it's definitely no hard science. That's why I'm against dosing children. But adults have the wherewith all to know what works for them. If you're proactive about what is helping your brain, you win. If you blindly accept and then categorically denounce because Zoloft wasn't totally awesome, you're kind of a jerk!  The toughest thing is convincing someone who won't go on meds that meds are their best option, amirite?
 
2013-05-10 04:04:22 AM  
Over 300 comments for Allie.

Stay on your meds girl, the internets love you.
 
2013-05-10 04:08:16 AM  

radarlove: Wow, where was that single piece of corn when the variety of pills I was prescribed really made me lose my mind and attempt suicide (or worse) on six separate occasions?


Did you check under the fridge?
 
2013-05-10 04:20:33 AM  

miss diminutive: Wow, that comic and this thread are both just simply amazing and I'm glad I took the time to read it all.

Her first comic about depression and the internal dialog that eventually degenerates into a spiral of self-loathing and apathy was so dead on that I actually had to stop reading it and just hug my knees for a little while.

Anyway, as hippy-drum-circleish as this sounds, I just want everyone who is battling or has battled depression to have the chance to experience joy again and truly know that things can get better. If hugs and hot chocolate truly had magical psychological healing powers, I'd spend my life dishing them out to everyone. Sadly, and thankfully, human beings aren't that simple.

/hopelessly optimistic, despite often overwhelming evidence to the contrary
//marshmallows in hot chocolate are the key


A woman who knows both depression and Malk? Marry me!!!
 
2013-05-10 04:25:20 AM  

jimmythrust: tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: I, for one, am thrilled at the medicalization of what would have previously had me committed to a sanitarium. I'd rather appear normal-ish to some and have a job few would dare to try.

Yea, pretty much but back in those days I would have been sent there for other reasons O_ 0

I remember reading Hammer of the Gods, the crappy Zeppelin tell-all, wherein the boyos claimed to chase the girls hospitalized for chronic masturbation...was that your problem as well? Cuz I hear ya, sister! :-)

I remember my first stay in a mental ward there was a girl like that but I don't think anyone would have chased her.
/Sorry
//And no that's not what I was thinking but I probably have had enough suicide attempts to keep me in in the old days.

Well, that's the one thing where it's ok to try and to fail. We are glad that you are here, and you should be as well, As for the meds--it's definitely no hard science. That's why I'm against dosing children. But adults have the wherewith all to know what works for them. If you're proactive about what is helping your brain, you win. If you blindly accept and then categorically denounce because Zoloft wasn't totally awesome, you're kind of a jerk!  The toughest thing is convincing someone who won't go on meds that meds are their best option, amirite?


Well meds for me at times are great, therapy well I have a very cool therapists I've been seeing for about 14 years now well sometimes off and on. I moved to Nashville for awhile and only had phone consults with her at times.

But the thing is I mean I had a more difficult time admitting to myself and others that I have this mental thing that can pop up when untreated than I did telling my parents I was gay. Well really bi but at that time I was with a girl I was gonna be with forever right? But still, both have affected my life and only one I felt a real stigma about or that it was something wrong with me.
Anyway,
Meds can be great if you need them every one has to make there on decisions.
 
2013-05-10 04:26:30 AM  

James F. Campbell: JRoo: Emotions are just roadblocks on the path to higher intelligence.

Sounds like the credo of a psychopath.vulcan


FTFY
 
2013-05-10 04:27:56 AM  
I spent six months in a basement "apartment" (i.e., my brother's basement, where he let me crash), and otherwise would have been homeless, due to a major bout of depression in my 20's. Still have occasional battles with it, but nothing like that one moment of my life. It cost me a girlfriend who didn't understand why I would leave the bedroom anymore, and a good portion of my family for a very long time (they didn't get it). I ended up weighing about 115 pounds (down from about 175), as I only ate when my brother or his wife insisted on it.

Unlike many others, I don't recall what snapped me out of it exactly. I just got up one day, got dressed, and went and found a job. It took another two years to really get back to what I would consider 'normal', with some backsliding, but at least I never built that suicide machine I designed.
 
2013-05-10 04:33:55 AM  

MmmmBacon: I spent six months in a basement "apartment" (i.e., my brother's basement, where he let me crash), and otherwise would have been homeless, due to a major bout of depression in my 20's. Still have occasional battles with it, but nothing like that one moment of my life. It cost me a girlfriend who didn't understand why I would leave the bedroom anymore, and a good portion of my family for a very long time (they didn't get it). I ended up weighing about 115 pounds (down from about 175), as I only ate when my brother or his wife insisted on it.

Unlike many others, I don't recall what snapped me out of it exactly. I just got up one day, got dressed, and went and found a job. It took another two years to really get back to what I would consider 'normal', with some backsliding, but at least I never built that suicide machine I designed.


You bring up a good point I look great right now I lost about 20 pound in my last depression. Sad thing is I have barely no energy or stamina ATM.
Although yea some of my depressions ended without meds, some went on for over a year before I went on meds. So take that as you will.
 
2013-05-10 04:37:16 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: tinfoil-hat maggie: jimmythrust: I, for one, am thrilled at the medicalization of what would have previously had me committed to a sanitarium. I'd rather appear normal-ish to some and have a job few would dare to try.

Yea, pretty much but back in those days I would have been sent there for other reasons O_ 0

I remember reading Hammer of the Gods, the crappy Zeppelin tell-all, wherein the boyos claimed to chase the girls hospitalized for chronic masturbation...was that your problem as well? Cuz I hear ya, sister! :-)

I remember my first stay in a mental ward there was a girl like that but I don't think anyone would have chased her.
/Sorry
//And no that's not what I was thinking but I probably have had enough suicide attempts to keep me in in the old days.

Well, that's the one thing where it's ok to try and to fail. We are glad that you are here, and you should be as well, As for the meds--it's definitely no hard science. That's why I'm against dosing children. But adults have the wherewith all to know what works for them. If you're proactive about what is helping your brain, you win. If you blindly accept and then categorically denounce because Zoloft wasn't totally awesome, you're kind of a jerk!  The toughest thing is convincing someone who won't go on meds that meds are their best option, amirite?

Well meds for me at times are great, therapy well I have a very cool therapists I've been seeing for about 14 years now well sometimes off and on. I moved to Nashville for awhile and only had phone consults with her at times.

But the thing is I mean I had a more difficult time admitting to myself and others that I have this mental thing that can pop up when untreated than I did telling my parents I was gay. Well really bi but at that time I was with a girl I was gonna be with forever right? But still, both have affected my life and only one I felt a real stigma about or that it was something wrong with me.
Anyway,
Meds ...


Stigma is bullsh@t. You are who you are. And that is a really good thing, no matter what!!!
 
2013-05-10 04:47:17 AM  

jimmythrust: Stigma is bullsh@t. You are who you are. And that is a really good thing, no matter what!!!


Word, and with that I'm gonna get some zzz's.
 
2013-05-10 04:58:55 AM  
Yay, laughcrying at/with someone flying the same mental airline as me.

Thanks, Allie Brosh
 
2013-05-10 04:59:53 AM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Have any of you sad sacks tried manning (or womanning) up and dealing with things? Depression is like adhd, namely that its not a real thing.


Well, that's a load off my mind! All this time I've been taking antidepressants to keep from living my life in an endless grey haze of utter hopelessness, and now I find out it wasn't even real.  Guess I'll tell my doctor I won't be needing any more refills.  Thank you for your sage-like wisdom, random douche bag on the internet!
 
2013-05-10 05:49:46 AM  

Bandito King: torusXL: Bandito King: I would normally have something biting to say in reply but... wha? I'm having trouble seeing how you got cowardice out of what I typed. I could see 'mean' or 'lack of empathy' or 'potential troll'. I just don't understand your response.

Should I just quote you to you? Guess that's what it takes with ignoramuses like you. 

Bandito King: I desperately want to ignore them myself.

It's cowardice because you say that your fear of depressed people is more important to you than is lending a helping hand to depressed people - who are in reality good people with the misfortune of a kinked up nervous system.

Ohhhhhh! No, you misunderstand. I'm not threatened by them, I find them irritating. See, my farked up nervous system gives me the 'rage' and it's exacerbated by mopey little shiats like this. So sorry I can't be bothered to filter it like I do when I'm out in the world but eh, it's fark. Plus, you know, I couldn't give less of a damn about your feelings.

Most people are expected to cope. Depressed people just give up and let themselves be overwhelmed by the monumental task of getting out of bed. You want me to empathize with that? I'd rather euthanize them. So it's best for my sanity and theirs if they just keep it to themselves like an... what's the word... oh, adult. You don't matter. Your feelings don't matter. Get over it or kill yourself. But for chrissakes, Shut. The. fark. Up. About it.


But you seem to be under the impression that your opinion matters, or else you wouldn't post it. Do you think that you are somehow special? Also,flying into a rage over a blog post no one forced you to read and then  calling for people you don't like to be killed kinda makes you sound like a complete lunatic.
 
2013-05-10 06:03:21 AM  

Toquinha: torusXL: Bandito King: I would normally have something biting to say in reply but... wha? I'm having trouble seeing how you got cowardice out of what I typed. I could see 'mean' or 'lack of empathy' or 'potential troll'. I just don't understand your response.

Should I just quote you to you? Guess that's what it takes with ignoramuses like you. 

Bandito King: I desperately want to ignore them myself.

It's cowardice because you say that your fear of depressed people is more important to you than is lending a helping hand to depressed people - who are in reality good people with the misfortune of a kinked up nervous system.

I don't know if it's entirely fair to dismiss the inability to deal with people who are clinically depressed is cowardice. I was in a live-in relationship with someone who was clinically depressed. When you're just trying to be supportive and just about everything you try to do gets summarily ignored or thrown back at your face, what else is there to do? And what about when the person in question actually starts becoming hostile in response? What then?


What then? You cope the best you can, that's what. Sometimes you don't have the luxury of ignoring it or escaping it. Like when it was my dad's brain tumor causing all that shiat. I think if I'd abandoned him to his fate, "coward" would have been an excellent fit. Whether it would fit your situation depends on what your relationship was with the ill person. I wouldn't have put up with nearly as much for a casual friend or roommate as I would for my close family.
 
2013-05-10 06:15:19 AM  

Contrabulous Flabtraption: Have any of you sad sacks tried manning (or womanning) up and dealing with things? Depression is like adhd, namely that its not a real thing.


How adorable! It's like a cargo-cult version of trolling. Style but no substance. :)

// and "womaning" only has one "n"
 
2013-05-10 06:42:37 AM  

raptusregaliter: Dinobot: Elandriel: Woo! My first green. :D

This is one of her heavier pieces but most of her other posts are absolutely hilarious. Much advised.

Honestly I don't care if she's "back" or not, just that she is okay. She disappeared fairly abruptly when she became depressed.

I noticed Boyfriend is not mentioned at all on this post nor the previous depression one.

Actually, if you go back and read today's post, there's a cameo appearance in a few panels. I noticed that Boyfriend was there almost immediately, and was glad he hadn't bolted when her depressive sh*t hit the fan.

//while never in the horrible depths she's been to, there were parts that resounded for me
/I hope she continues her recovery
///I hope she's back to stay


This.

never there at those depths but familiar with pieces of it.

I know sloth. sloth came to visit just last week but moved on.

I've never seen her comic before but I am very taken by it. I spent the greater part of 4 am reading it and nearly had my own confusing cry laugh moment when I saw how brilliant depression has been described. Both the words and pictures nail it.

Glad she feels feels.
 
Skr
2013-05-10 07:32:32 AM  
Always felt able to connect with her experiences a bit. Seems the general moral of this one is that "Things may never get better, but there is a more than zero chance that they might."
 
2013-05-10 07:36:44 AM  
I see a lot of us were up at 4:30am reading this. Some of you are on my favorites. I used to call the period between 2am and 4am, the witching hours. Where anything can happen and the mind can go places. Sometimes good; sometimes bad.

I posted earlier on my phone which scarcely did it justice.

This is the first time I read anything by her...and I am blown away. The complete honesty was jarring and touching. The drawings while simple are brilliant at conveying meaning behind the words and emotion. It was great to read the part about pretending as a child and the different adventures each toy had.

I can also relate to the depression but never that deep. Unlike her (which sounds wrong.....), I had genuine reasons to be depressed. It didnt come from nowhere or creep up slowly. There was a period in my life where my friends would have a bad day and then would refer to the day as "I had a Coastalgrl day today". Really big and bad things would happen to me that would repeatedly kick me in the groin. I hope I expressed that correctly.

I then got worried because as bad as mine was, compared to her experiences, I have no farking excuse to whine. None. And that frightens me.

LIfe is so much better now and on the right track. I never had a corn moment. But I remember sloth. I remember 'sit on floor and stare'. I remember 'nothing'.

To those who have expressed their own experiences, I was going to write I understand, then I feel feels for you, but then I thought that was insulting to say to someone who doesn't feel. And I can never understand what someone is going through completely; but maybe empathize would be enough.
 
2013-05-10 08:11:48 AM  

miss diminutive: Her first comic about depression and the internal dialog that eventually degenerates into a spiral of self-loathing and apathy was so dead on that I actually had to stop reading it and just hug my knees for a little while.


Can someone link this plz?
 
2013-05-10 08:40:04 AM  

Cato: SmackLT: Happy to see that she's back

fark you. No, seriously, fark YOU. This isn't about you and whether or not you can read amusing things on the Internet. This is a human being who is in the middle of the black hole of depression. I don't care if she ever blogs again, as long as she gets the help she needs and can find her way back into the world outside the abyss. I've been there (not nearly as bad as her, but enough to see how terrifying it is) and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I don't care that she was one of the funniest people on the net (and she really was). Her being "back" is irrelevant. Her being ALIVE is.


Wow, you really missed the entire point of my comment. I said that I was glad she's back--and I am.  I read the whole blog, and what I took from it was that she was in a really dark place, but that she seems to be coming out of it. Maybe she's not all the way out of it yet, but she's better to the point that she can write and post again, and I take that as a sign that even if she's not where she needs to be yet, she's recovering.

This seems to be a giant leap forward from where she was when she posted the blog before this one, and I take that as a good thing. I never said anything suggesting that I don't care about her and only want her to hurry up and start writing Hyperbole and a Half posts again, so I have no idea how exactly you managed to read that into what I wrote.
 
2013-05-10 08:47:11 AM  

radarlove: Okay, this is probably a longshot and I know that, but...does anyone in this thread have any experience with or know anyone who has experience with the use of ECT or Trans-cranial Electromagnets in the treatment of depression?


Well, obviously, you should talk to at least two REAL doctors, rather than asking on Fark, but here's my experiences, fwiw:  ECT really helped an uncle of mine.  He gets it every couple years, and it's like re-booting a frozen computer; it REALLY helps him.  Then his mental and social functions slowly degrade, until it's time to reboot him again.

And an in-law had the brain magnets, they didn't help; she was on like 12 meds, so hard to tell what was doing what...so the docs turned them off, and then a grandkid sitting in her lap with a magnetic toy turned them on again...THAT was an interesting Christmas morning.

/2 data points not really a basis for anything, I know
 
2013-05-10 08:47:53 AM  

Cato: Because it's f'n tacky. "Oh, I'm so glad you worked out your issues and no longer want to KILL YOURSELF so that you can be 'back'".

That absolutely deserves a double fark you.


I'm sorry that my well-wishes were so badly mistaken by you, but I assure you that what you read into my message has nothing at all to do with what I meant by it.
 
2013-05-10 08:56:32 AM  

MacWizard: Thought I had already lost everything, but went to a bankruptcy hearing on Monday. They noticed I still had a guitar, keyboard and a shred of hope left. They are correcting my oversight. Spent last night with a handful of (metaphorical) dead fish and thinking it would be real helpful if I just had a heart attack.

Skipped work tonight so I could avoid the world and sleep too much. Woke up and stumbled upon this. Wow. I really needed to see both Allie's story and this thread today.

Thanks to all of you who shared your stories.


Wtf those should be covered under your personal property exemptions. Get a better attorney. No joke. I work in bankruptcy. Have the attorney amend your schedules to value those as inconsequential to the estate. You shouldn't have to lose that.
 
kab
2013-05-10 09:31:33 AM  

AGremlin: If you understand and/or identify with this comic, you are depressed or at some time in your life have been depressed.

If you don't understand it, you're lucky.


Lots of this.

It was a good read, a good chunk of which I can empathize with, though for me it doesn't manifest itself quite the same way.

/still haven't seen any corn under the fridge.
 
2013-05-10 09:34:16 AM  
I've felt like that for many years. Never went to a doctor, though, always figured it was a waste of time and effort. My method of learning how to cope is just faking it. And not telling people about it.
 
2013-05-10 09:40:42 AM  
Is it a good thing or a bad thing that I understood the moment with the corn?

/Glad she's back.
 
2013-05-10 09:41:25 AM  

namegoeshere: miss diminutive: Her first comic about depression and the internal dialog that eventually degenerates into a spiral of self-loathing and apathy was so dead on that I actually had to stop reading it and just hug my knees for a little while.

Can someone link this plz?


Here you go.
 
2013-05-10 09:42:13 AM  
The whole thing makes echoes in my brain of all the people in the church where I grew up talking about the dangers of societal desensitization.
 
2013-05-10 09:46:10 AM  

Theory Of Null: I chug along, like a farm laborer hoeing an endless field, and occasionally a little nugget of happiness or satisfaction turns up and I enjoy it, until the feeling fades and I go back to the dull existence of endlessly hoeing, in hopes of another nugget showing up. My pets help a lot. Keeping other people at arm's length helps, since it avoids potential hurt and angst.

I watch other people leading happy, satisfying lives and wonder how it feels, much like someone born with just one arm watches other people clap. I didn't create this depression, I was born to it. I've learned to live with it, just like the one armed man. I don't fear suicide, I see it as a last resort, like a test pilot being comforted by having an ejection seat to use if it becomes necessary.</i>

Just went the thread again. Those last two paragraphs are just a perfect summation of me, sans pets.

Yeah, well said man.


Thirded. For me, having a cat or two is critical -- it's the most responsibility I can handle, *and* the knowledge that I am responsible for another living creature gives me a reason not to give up. Whenever I start thinking the really bad thoughts, I just remind myself that I have to stick around for the cat.
 
2013-05-10 09:46:14 AM  
Does anyone else hate those stories where the bad guy wins? That feeling of just waiting for someone to get there well-deserved comeuppance, but it never happens? That's how I felt when I read her piece, The God of Cake.

I kept hoping that a parent would burst in and end the shenanigans, or at least a bit about how now with hindsight she feels bad for her ruining her mom's gesture to her grandpa, but she seems proud of it to this day, and her reader-base on the site sure do support it.

Some of her stuff is funny (like the bit about moving with dogs), but she was an awful child.
 
2013-05-10 09:51:15 AM  

ryant123: namegoeshere: miss diminutive: Her first comic about depression and the internal dialog that eventually degenerates into a spiral of self-loathing and apathy was so dead on that I actually had to stop reading it and just hug my knees for a little while.

Can someone link this plz?

Here you go.


Thank you : )
 
2013-05-10 09:57:01 AM  

namegoeshere: ryant123: namegoeshere: miss diminutive: Her first comic about depression and the internal dialog that eventually degenerates into a spiral of self-loathing and apathy was so dead on that I actually had to stop reading it and just hug my knees for a little while.

Can someone link this plz?

Here you go.

Thank you : )


Oh been there...
 
2013-05-10 10:15:01 AM  

jimmythrust: The toughest thing is convincing someone who won't go on meds that meds are their best option, amirite?


Part of the problem, at least in my experience, is that nowadays GPs are prescribing a lot of the antidepressants and other psych drugs. I had a pretty negative experience several years ago because of that - I basically had the prescription and took the pills until I decided to stop taking them...cold turkey. No one seemed to monitor or care what I did, which is really helpful treatment to a person with depression/anxiety. I also wasn't in a great position to advocate for myself and put too much blind faith in the GP.

GPs need to leave the psych stuff to the psych doctors...at the very least they're supposed to know a little more about it.
 
2013-05-10 10:27:36 AM  

Cato: SmackLT: Happy to see that she's back

fark you. No, seriously, fark YOU. This isn't about you and whether or not you can read amusing things on the Internet. This is a human being who is in the middle of the black hole of depression. I don't care if she ever blogs again, as long as she gets the help she needs and can find her way back into the world outside the abyss. I've been there (not nearly as bad as her, but enough to see how terrifying it is) and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I don't care that she was one of the funniest people on the net (and she really was). Her being "back" is irrelevant. Her being ALIVE is.


HER POSTING ON THE INTERNET IS A GOOD SIGN SHE IS NOT DEAD AND SHE IS A GOOD PERSON AND WE VALUE HER OUTPUT AND YOU ASSUMING shiat IS JUST NUTS BASK IN THE GOODNESS OF MS PAINT COMICS WITH TEXT IN BETWEEN AND SLOW YOUR GODDAMN ROLL
 
2013-05-10 10:50:30 AM  
I am glad she is doing marginally better
Depression sucks

\Sorry your fish are dead
 
2013-05-10 11:07:36 AM  
My mother was diagnosed bipolar, had 3 diagnosed major depressive episodes, and probably killed herself. (Died overnight. They counted out her sleeping pills, and didn't find enough missing to conclude she'd OD'd, but I don't believe them. She hoarded them. She was also had a 160+ IQ, and probably saved them up as part of a plan.)

Her brother is on meds for depression. My sister is, too.

My maternal grandfather died by suicide.

My paternal grandfather died by suicide following a couple of years of alcohol abuse.

My father's mother's father died by suicide.

There are enough alcoholics and depressives in my extended family to field a baseball team or two.

I've had a half-dozen periods in my life that fit the textbook bipolar description.

So, I've seen it up close.

That said, I think at least 90% of people would be more or less cured of depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder with a regimen of vigorous exercise, a near-paleo diet, proper sleep habits, and avoidance of drugs and excessive alcohol.
 
2013-05-10 11:10:58 AM  

Bumblefark: ...I think the worst thing about the medicalization of depression is that it takes whole universes of human experience and understanding, and discards them as nothing more than symptoms of a malfunctioning brain...and all simply because those worlds happen to be unpleasant, either to the person inhabiting said world, or (just as often) those around them.


Have you been or are you depressed?
If your answer is no, then your post is just a steaming pile of arrogance.

Fromageball: GPs need to leave the psych stuff to the psych doctors...at the very least they're supposed to know a little more about it.


Maybe GPs don't quite have the training level to be fully effective, but think of the long term consequences of your idea. Psychiatrists are expensive, and if we were to require one for psychiatric treatment then millions of people with too little income and/or no health insurance would be left in the dark. So at least in today's society, it's good to have GPs freely able to prescribe many things, and it'd be bad to take away some of their ability and put more power in the hands of insurance companies.
The GPs are just fulfilling their Hippocratic oath. That's not to say some GPs may not be too gung-ho about antidepressants or whatever. Most things in life are best in moderation.

Bumblefark: tinfoil-hat maggie: Bumblefark: Yeah...that wasn't the point I was making. But, go ahead and stab aimlessly in the dark if it cheers you up.

Meh, I don't believe you have a point other than trolling with some absurd argument.

Oh, stop. I posted one comment suggesting that I wasn't thrilled with the idea of dismissing the total sum of depressive ideation as the result of a "kinked up nervous system." From that, you inferred I'm some anti-med zealot. And, somehow, that makes me a troll...

kay.


*HIGH FIVE* to tinfoil-hat maggie. We and others make a good team. Successfully chased out at least one of the self-centered asshats.

Toquinha: And what about when the person in question actually starts becoming hostile in response? What then?


Your question doesn't have an answer because that person is thinking the same thing. "OK, you're telling me 'cheer-up, Buttercup!'. What now?". It's the difference between clinical depression and sadness.

Some people just can't handle the truth...c'est la vie.
 
2013-05-10 11:15:56 AM  
So... What did she do with the corn?
 
2013-05-10 11:45:41 AM  
I <3 you all, depression sucks and trying to deal with it alone sucks even more.

A few misc. things I've learned in the ~12 years since my BP diagnosis:

- Don't be afraid to experiment. (Ha.) Meds can be REALLY hit-or-miss, and it's not uncommon to need to try several, alone or in combination, to find something that works AND does't kill you with side effects.

- Take your meds EVERY DAY. Missing even one pill effs you up for at least a few days. Set you cell phone alarm, take them with your coffee, do whatever it takes.

- If you can't afford your pills, ask about patient assistance programs. As a grad student with no prescription insurance, the pharma companies sent me a year's worth of expensive pills (no generics availalbe at the time) FREE because I was broke.

- Embrace the weird. When you're down, and something interests you, chase it like crazy. Whether it's hoarding GIFs of cute kittens, starting knitting projects that go nowhere, writing obscure fanfic, or trying to perfect the world's most perfect hot wing sauce, having something totally random to focus on gives you something to do, even if it's completely non productive, gives you something to do.

- Make lists. If you're obsessing or worrying, write down everything in your head, just to get it out of your brain, and then ignore the list for a while. If you want to go back later and say, oh that's dumb, why am I worrying about that, that's cool... or don't. But getting it out does help, IMO.

- Do the boring stuff. When you're in a funk, you forget to do things like eat lunch and take showers. Chore charts may be for kids, but if you make yourself check off "brushed teeth," "ate something," etc., then you at least cover the basics that will keep things from slipping more.
 
2013-05-10 11:55:42 AM  

SporkQueen: I <3 you all, depression sucks and trying to deal with it alone sucks even more.

A few misc. things I've learned in the ~12 years since my BP diagnosis:

- Don't be afraid to experiment. (Ha.) Meds can be REALLY hit-or-miss, and it's not uncommon to need to try several, alone or in combination, to find something that works AND does't kill you with side effects.

- Take your meds EVERY DAY. Missing even one pill effs you up for at least a few days. Set you cell phone alarm, take them with your coffee, do whatever it takes.

- If you can't afford your pills, ask about patient assistance programs. As a grad student with no prescription insurance, the pharma companies sent me a year's worth of expensive pills (no generics availalbe at the time) FREE because I was broke.

- Embrace the weird. When you're down, and something interests you, chase it like crazy. Whether it's hoarding GIFs of cute kittens, starting knitting projects that go nowhere, writing obscure fanfic, or trying to perfect the world's most perfect hot wing sauce, having something totally random to focus on gives you something to do, even if it's completely non productive, gives you something to do.

- Make lists. If you're obsessing or worrying, write down everything in your head, just to get it out of your brain, and then ignore the list for a while. If you want to go back later and say, oh that's dumb, why am I worrying about that, that's cool... or don't. But getting it out does help, IMO.

- Do the boring stuff. When you're in a funk, you forget to do things like eat lunch and take showers. Chore charts may be for kids, but if you make yourself check off "brushed teeth," "ate something," etc., then you at least cover the basics that will keep things from slipping more.


We do the chart stuff at my home when it gets bad, but I wonder if that feeds the OCD beast a bit too much...
Meds are very VERY important. Don't let anyone pressure you into stopping them, including yourself. "I just want to be normal" is often the precursor to really bad times.
 
2013-05-10 12:09:28 PM  
The problem for people with legitimate depression is that for every one of them, there's five people complaining about depression who are just doing it because for some reason weakness is considered a personality quirk these days. Aren't I interesting, I can't eat gluten? I have PTSD really bad from high school, doesn't that make me deep?


I've seen people with legitimate depression. You can tell that something isn't right upstairs. They can literally tell that they don't process the world the way a normal person does but they would like to. Then there mopey farks who would be better if they just ate a steak and went outside for a while.
 
2013-05-10 12:35:40 PM  

CynicalLA: I was joking but I heard it isn't what it used to be.  The grass isn't always greener.  And changing locations is no way to try and help depression.


OTOH it can be the best thing to do for yourself.  I ended up selling my house warts and all to a vulture capitalist and the weight off my back was worth the value lost in going for that kind of deal.
 
2013-05-10 02:11:56 PM  

Chaghatai: Does anyone else hate those stories where the bad guy wins? That feeling of just waiting for someone to get there well-deserved comeuppance, but it never happens? That's how I felt when I read her piece, The God of Cake.


You must have missed the part where she throws up the cake all over her grandparents' floor. That was probably punishment enough to ensure she never did that again.

/Mom took a different tack with me. She allowed us to eat as much candy as we wanted until we got sick. To this day, I prefer carrots over cookies.

SporkQueen: Embrace the weird. When you're down, and something interests you, chase it like crazy. Whether it's hoarding GIFs of cute kittens, starting knitting projects that go nowhere, writing obscure fanfic, or trying to perfect the world's most perfect hot wing sauce, having something totally random to focus on gives you something to do, even if it's completely non productive, gives you something to do.


Hehe. I had "Peki's Big Thing" about two summers ago. Got me into reading a lot about politics and the economy. I now know way more about the Fed than probably any lay person should. Unfinished projects are a little annoying to others though, so the caveat I'd give on this is, "Involve others in your project carefully."

Coastalgrl: I can also relate to the depression but never that deep. Unlike her (which sounds wrong.....), I had genuine reasons to be depressed. It didnt come from nowhere or creep up slowly. There was a period in my life where my friends would have a bad day and then would refer to the day as "I had a Coastalgrl day today". Really big and bad things would happen to me that would repeatedly kick me in the groin. I hope I expressed that correctly.


Fistbump. I've had a major trauma every 2-3 years since I was 3 (I'm now almost 30--trying to plan a good 30th bday party as I haven't wanted to celebrate it since a lot of that trauma has happened right around my bday, but that's a neat trick when you have 0 cash). When I describe to people my life's story, eventually their eyes glaze over because they simply can't accept that a human being who lives in the United States could have gone through that much shiat. Then I start pulling newspaper articles and the like, and then the horror and fear just makes them run away.

That's part of why my story here on Fark may seem so weird. There's no way I could possibly describe everything here, so the best I can do is give little glimpses and explanations. Then everyone jumps on my shiat because they don't know the whole picture, and of course they don't care enough to find out. *shrug* Easy to be judgmental and jump to conclusions. Much harder to actually help someone out.
 
2013-05-10 02:22:00 PM  

Shadow Blasko: The corn isn't always good.

I'm just saying ... been there. My "corn" moment was when I realized I had completely snapped and needed professional supervision.

Corn moments are milestones... sometimes good, sometines bad. Always traumatic.

/SSRI Withdrawal syndrome sucks ASS


I'm going through the same thing right now with Prestiq. That strip has been my life for the past year, especially the last month. - I'm still waiting for my "corn" moment.
 
2013-05-10 02:38:31 PM  

Peki: Fistbump. I've had a major trauma every 2-3 years since I was 3 (I'm now almost 30--trying to plan a good 30th bday party as I haven't wanted to celebrate it since a lot of that trauma has happened right around my bday, but that's a neat trick when you have 0 cash). When I describe to people my life's story, eventually their eyes glaze over because they simply can't accept that a human being who lives in the United States could have gone through that much shiat. Then I start pulling newspaper articles and the like, and then the horror and fear just makes them run away.

That's part of why my story here on Fark may seem so weird. There's no way I could possibly describe everything here, so the best I can do is give little glimpses and explanations. Then everyone jumps on my shiat because they don't know the whole picture, and of course they don't care enough to find out. *shrug* Easy to be judgmental and jump to conclusions. Much harder to actually help someone out.


I am willing to hear your story in its completeness to try to understand what you are going through.  My email is in my profile.  As posted upstream my wife has minor bouts of depression and would like to understand more about it.
 
2013-05-10 02:56:16 PM  

World Traveling Navy Vet: Peki: Fistbump. I've had a major trauma every 2-3 years since I was 3 (I'm now almost 30--trying to plan a good 30th bday party as I haven't wanted to celebrate it since a lot of that trauma has happened right around my bday, but that's a neat trick when you have 0 cash). When I describe to people my life's story, eventually their eyes glaze over because they simply can't accept that a human being who lives in the United States could have gone through that much shiat. Then I start pulling newspaper articles and the like, and then the horror and fear just makes them run away.

That's part of why my story here on Fark may seem so weird. There's no way I could possibly describe everything here, so the best I can do is give little glimpses and explanations. Then everyone jumps on my shiat because they don't know the whole picture, and of course they don't care enough to find out. *shrug* Easy to be judgmental and jump to conclusions. Much harder to actually help someone out.

I am willing to hear your story in its completeness to try to understand what you are going through.  My email is in my profile.  As posted upstream my wife has minor bouts of depression and would like to understand more about it.


Me too.
 
2013-05-10 03:05:25 PM  
This post came just in time for me.
 
2013-05-10 03:05:45 PM  

Peki: When I describe to people my life's story, eventually their eyes glaze over because they simply can't accept that a human being who lives in the United States could have gone through that much shiat. Then I start pulling newspaper articles and the like, and then the horror and fear just makes them run away.


Yep, I can relate. My life story makes therapists cry. I sometimes forget not to tell stories like the one where my parents had to panel the entire downstairs because they couldn't paint over the huge bloody handprints (which is really a pretty funny story from my POV). At least my family never made the papers, though, so that's good, I guess.
 
2013-05-10 03:06:07 PM  
Sorry if this has been posted before - but it's so true:

http://www.madinamerica.com/2012/02/why-anti-authoritarians-are-diagn o sed-as-mentally-ill/

"Often a major pain of their lives that fuels their anxiety and/or depression is fear that their contempt for illegitimate authorities will cause them to be financially and socially marginalized; but they fear that compliance with such illegitimate authorities will cause them existential death. "

Which is why I'm chronically late to work. Or call in, like today.  :-/

It's a good thing I *actually* do my job above-average or I'd be shiat-canned by now.
 
2013-05-10 03:09:21 PM  

gglibertine: Theory Of Null: I chug along, like a farm laborer hoeing an endless field, and occasionally a little nugget of happiness or satisfaction turns up and I enjoy it, until the feeling fades and I go back to the dull existence of endlessly hoeing, in hopes of another nugget showing up. My pets help a lot. Keeping other people at arm's length helps, since it avoids potential hurt and angst.

I watch other people leading happy, satisfying lives and wonder how it feels, much like someone born with just one arm watches other people clap. I didn't create this depression, I was born to it. I've learned to live with it, just like the one armed man. I don't fear suicide, I see it as a last resort, like a test pilot being comforted by having an ejection seat to use if it becomes necessary.</i>

Just went the thread again. Those last two paragraphs are just a perfect summation of me, sans pets.

Yeah, well said man.

Thirded. For me, having a cat or two is critical -- it's the most responsibility I can handle, *and* the knowledge that I am responsible for another living creature gives me a reason not to give up. Whenever I start thinking the really bad thoughts, I just remind myself that I have to stick around for the cat.


You too?

I don't how many times I've had thoughts like, "No, I can't just turn on the car and sit in the garage with the doors closed. Who would take car of the cat?"
 
2013-05-10 03:30:20 PM  

Arumat: Bandito King: Ohhhhhh! No, you misunderstand. I'm not threatened by them, I find them irritating. See, my farked up nervous system gives me the 'rage' and it's exacerbated by mopey little shiats like this. So sorry I can't be bothered to filter it like I do when I'm out in the world but eh, it's fark. Plus, you know, I couldn't give less of a damn about your feelings.

Most people are expected to cope. Depressed people just give up and let themselves be overwhelmed by the monumental task of getting out of bed. You want me to empathize with that? I'd rather euthanize them. So it's best for my sanity and theirs if they just keep it to themselves like an... what's the word... oh, adult. You don't matter. Your feelings don't matter. Get over it or kill yourself. But for chrissakes, Shut. The. fark. Up. About it.

So...what you're really trying to say is you're not a coward, you're just a raging sociopathic asshat?


Not all the time. It comes and goes.
 
2013-05-10 04:23:32 PM  
I see 3 types of people posting here:
1) got it (probably been depressed before or still)
2) a bit of insight into something which they never have understood before
3) assholes

one of the things which I experienced while going through my depression was that it became easier with sharing and easier to share it.
I dont care that people knew that I was depressed and my friends which I can reach who are depressed, well, everyone is happier.
I have also learned to avoid and ignore those that dont have enough empathy to even admit that they dont get it. They are not worth a second of time.

"Depressed people just give up and let themselves be overwhelmed by the monumental task of getting out of bed. "
YAY another troll for the ignore list. Forever.
 
2013-05-10 04:28:44 PM  

gglibertine: Peki: When I describe to people my life's story, eventually their eyes glaze over because they simply can't accept that a human being who lives in the United States could have gone through that much shiat. Then I start pulling newspaper articles and the like, and then the horror and fear just makes them run away.

Yep, I can relate. My life story makes therapists cry. I sometimes forget not to tell stories like the one where my parents had to panel the entire downstairs because they couldn't paint over the huge bloody handprints (which is really a pretty funny story from my POV). At least my family never made the papers, though, so that's good, I guess.


ok
1) that is pretty funny
2) and yah, some stories you just have to laugh at, or you would NEVER STOP crying

csb -triggery
I rescued a friend. Any part of her story would make you weep. As she told me more and more of the hell that her life had been, I kept asking how. How had she survived at all? Physical handicaps are hard enough to live with. Toss in rape and abusive parents? Wait your boy friend beat you too? Wait, they cut you off of your pain meds because they thought you might kill yourself? wait, the pain is so bad, that it makes you want to kill yourself?
jesus wept
she has moved on and gotten help and insurance through marriage and not dead. but every day is a pain level 7-10 day.
I literally can not imagine living with that. every day.
/csb
 
2013-05-10 04:42:59 PM  

namatad: Wait, they cut you off of your pain meds because they thought you might kill yourself?


The Feds are also interferring with proper medical practice by harassing doctors who "prescribe too much pain medication".  The Feds would rather a person lived every day in complete agony from chronic pain rather than risk they might become addicted to the pain killers that make it possible to make it through the day.
 
2013-05-10 05:14:21 PM