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(WPTV)   Legislature approves bill forbidding drivers from going slower than 10 mph below speed limit in fast lane   (wptv.com ) divider line
    More: Florida, speed limits, state legislative, Florida House, pet peeves  
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4736 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2013 at 2:48 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-05-09 01:33:42 PM  
7 votes:

the_sidewinder: Difficulty: There is no fast lane


See, this is truly the crux of the problem, and has always been so. The issue here is that generations of Americans have, as a sort of shorthand, referred to the left lane on a highway as "the fast lane." But the problem with that is that the word "fast" is quite subjective. I might, for example, believe that since the speed limit is 55, and I am going 57, I am going "fast" and therefore have every much a right to be in the lane as anyone else. Yes, I would have to be a slack-jawed simpleton to believe this, a halfwit bumpkin of no relative merit or worth, but the fact of the matter is that many American are exactly those things. I mean, have you been to Maryland?

So stop calling it a fast lane. Spend the extra syllable, refer to it as a passing lane. As in the following:

If I am not at this moment actively engaged in the process of passing a vehicle situated on my right-hand side, I should move immediately into the right lane myself and only re-enter the left lane when it becomes again necessary to pass another vehicle. The speed of my passing is irrelevant. How fast I believe I am going is irrelevant. All that matters is the action of passing, nothing else, and then, like a salmon who has just finished spawning and will now rest and die, the act of again moving right. This until it is time to spawn again.

Think of slack-jawed simpletons, the halfwit bumpkins everywhere. The Marylanders struggling to understand difficult concepts like "signs" and "signals." Make things easier, not more complicated. Passing lane. It is more difficult to say, but think of the payoffs.
2013-05-09 03:08:22 PM  
5 votes:
img.gawkerassets.com
2013-05-09 02:46:03 PM  
4 votes:
Any RV driver who willfully moves into the left-most (or "passing" lane) for any reason other than avoiding an accident or at the express command of an on-duty law enforcement officer shall have the driver's license suspended and revoked and the physical license itself cut into triangular pieces no smaller than one-half inch and no larger than one inch on each said and have the aforementioned pieces hammered up the driver's urethra using a rusty ball-peen hammer at a public ceremony.
2013-05-09 04:27:31 PM  
3 votes:

Kaenneth: There was an interesting study correlating road rage to being circumcised, apparently cut men get much more upset about people driving slow in the 'fast lane' than uncut men.

Probably due to their inability to have complete sexual satisfaction.


Nah, it's more likely that uncut men have had their brains eaten up from a chronic yeast infection and are too retarded to care by the time they are old enough to drive.
2013-05-09 03:19:18 PM  
3 votes:
img.photobucket.com
2013-05-09 03:44:09 PM  
2 votes:
When I'm driving I always try to find someone just sitting in the fast lane. The faster the better of course. Then I make them my wingman. I'll stay in the lane just to their right and just ahead of them. Some people try to pass me but I don't let them. You do 95, I'll do 95. Then when I see a cop (I'm in front and see them first) I throw it from 5th to 4th (I have a stck), no brake lights and they zoom passed me. Only seen three people pulled over in 25 years of doing that but that's three tickets I didn't get. If they're dumb enough to just sit in the fast lane, I'm gonna use them.

/internet tough guy driving story
2013-05-09 03:16:27 PM  
2 votes:

Scruffinator: Cyno01: eraser8: I_Am_Weasel: I assume they once again failed to address the menace of uncanceled turn signals?

The people I want cannonized* are the people who brake and only use their turn signals once they've slowed down to 5 miles per hour.  Please, for the love of all that is good, signal your turn BEFORE applying the brake.

*cannonized: to be shot out of a cannon.  Not to be confused with canonized: to be declared a saint.

Also people who wait to put on their directional until the light turns green.

But that clicking sound is the  worst sound in the world!


When I'm holding my coffee and my cell phone while driving with my knees, it's hard to use the turn signal.  Traffic laws are for other people, anyway.
2013-05-09 03:14:20 PM  
2 votes:
Conditions permitting, it should be illegal to drive 10 below ANY speed limit. It's a hazard, both because it can cause accidents and can lead to road rage when I start RAMMING THAT F*&KING CAR WHO WON'T GET THE F*&K OUT OF MY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. *middle fingers raised*
2013-05-09 03:10:34 PM  
2 votes:
Driving rant thread!

1. Don't be left of any traffic you aren't passing

2. Don't drive under the speed limit on the interstate no matter what lane you're in (barring weather or other special conditions)

3. Use your farking turn signal

4. Don't change lanes just because the person in front of you isn't passing "fast enough" for your taste

5. Don't merge without looking

6. Don't stop at a farking yield sign unless you actually have to

7. Don't ride all the way to the end of the farking onramp before you stop if you can see you're not going to be able to merge

8. 4 way stops have three simple rules: FIFO, Yield to the right, Yield on a left turn

9. If your goddamn wheels never actually stop moving at the intersection, you didn't stop and it's my farking turn

10. Don't slow down to 3 mph to make a right turn

11. Don't fark around with your phone just because the light's red, pay attention

12. Don't "wave me through" something when it's not my turn

13. You have an accelerator, use it. Don't take 30 seconds to get up to speed for no reason

14. Don't pull onto the interstate early from the ramp if you're not up to speed yet

15. Don't gawk at accidents you drooling dipshiats, I'd like to get home, not stare at blinky fire truck lights

16. AWD doesn't mean you can go 60 mph in the snow safely on your summer tires

17. Don't stomp on your gas just because the line of stopped traffic moved another 10 feet

18. The fact that you used the wrong lane for 500 feet to try and fly past a line of traffic you didn't feel like waiting in isn't my problem and I won't slow down just to let you over where you need to be.

I have no idea why people go out of their way to make driving so hard. It really isn't that difficult.
2013-05-09 02:50:15 PM  
2 votes:

show me: Diogenes: Alot of anger and frustration being expressed in this thread.

When you embrace that fact that everyone else is more important than you, you won't be nearly as frustrated with driving.

Don't you have to go look for an honest man or something?


My barrel is in the shop.  I rear ended someone cruising in the left lane.
2013-05-09 02:06:34 PM  
2 votes:

I_Am_Weasel: I assume they once again failed to address the menace of uncanceled turn signals?


The people I want cannonized* are the people who brake and only use their turn signals once they've slowed down to 5 miles per hour.  Please, for the love of all that is good, signal your turn BEFORE applying the brake.

*cannonized: to be shot out of a cannon.  Not to be confused with canonized: to be declared a saint.
2013-05-09 01:14:11 PM  
2 votes:
Difficulty: There is no fast lane

/Use the left lane to pass, then get the fark out of it
2013-05-09 06:38:51 PM  
1 vote:

Kibbler: Here's another law I'd like, for all of you look-at-me-I'm-a-super-driver-get-out-of-my-way douchebags.

If I'm in the right lane, and I'm going 10 miles an hour over the speed limit, and the left two lanes are empty, and you come up and tailgate me, because you think you own every farking lane on the road, and you demand that I move left so that you can pass me on the right, then you're a jerk and you get a nice hefty ticket.

Here's another one.  If I move from the left lane to the middle lane to pass someone who is going at or below the speed limit, and you come up behind me 25+ miles over the limit, and again you tailgate me, because you're so farking important that the road belongs to you, again, jerk, ticket.

People who imagine themselves to be super drivers do not own the road.  They give me far more headaches than people driving below the speed limit in the left lane.  In fact, I almost never see people driving below the speed limit in the left lane.  But I have jerks tailgating me in the right lane, when I'm going over the limit, all the time.

I think what you super drivers mean is "anybody driving slower than I do in the left lane."


None of those things have ever happened.
2013-05-09 05:54:53 PM  
1 vote:

another cultural observer: Huggermugger: another cultural observer: Huggermugger: All of you speed demons who think that you should be allowed to drive at unlimited speed just like on the Autobahn ignore one major thing, which is that they have extremely restrictive laws on the behavior of drivers. In exchange for the right to drive fast, you lose the right to tailgate and intimidate and act like a bully. It appears that many of you enjoy the aggression so much that you'd rather drive like a bully than drive fast.

I bully slow drivers by passing them and then going more slowly than they are.  It's quite satisfying.  "what's wrong, old lady?  Someone going slow? Inconveniencing you? I can relate.  I guess you'll have to muster up your old lady courage and pass me."

What most of you bullies do is not to pass, but to tailgate and cut in front and honk and flip the bird. As an old lady who just wants to get from point A to point B, I shouldn't have to be the target of your psychological issues. And by the way, I found a place to live near work so that I can drive less than 100 miles a month, but sometimes I'm forced to drive someplace, and sometimes I need to turn left, which requires being in the left lane, but that doesn't mean you have the right to rage at me and threaten me.

Old ladies who want to get from A to B don't bother me if they stay off the roads during rush hour.  They're adults, they know people have to get to work.  Go 40 mph in a 55mph zone at 10:00am instead of 7:30am.  You're retired anyway.  I provide a valuable, aggressively-passive educational service.


I'm not retired. I work, and I have just as much right to be on the road. The only time I drive less than the speed limit us when there's congestion on the road. Try telling a judge that you have the right to intimidate me.
2013-05-09 05:44:53 PM  
1 vote:

another cultural observer: Speed is a "factor", not a "cause"


So, you wanna play word games to justify breaking the law?
2013-05-09 05:43:38 PM  
1 vote:

un4gvn666: fredklein: And one of those 'risks' is getting your Drivers License taken away. Then you can't drive AT ALL

You're kidding right?

When you lose your license, do they chop off your hands or something where you live?


So, your advocating for driving without a license??
2013-05-09 05:41:27 PM  
1 vote:

another cultural observer: A risk I'm willing to run,


"Some of you may die.. but that is a risk I am willing to take..."

but you're incorrect that anyone "MUST" follow the law. You can go murder someone.

You know what I meant. Sheesh.

And if you can choose to break the speed limit (and accept the possible punishment), then why are you hating on other people who are choosing to break the 'stay right except to pass' law and accept the possible punishment? These people are just like you- they want to break the law, and they are breaking the law.
2013-05-09 05:37:24 PM  
1 vote:
All of you speed demons who think that you should be allowed to drive at unlimited speed just like on the Autobahn ignore one major thing, which is that they have extremely restrictive laws on the behavior of drivers. In exchange for the right to drive fast, you lose the right to tailgate and intimidate and act like a bully. It appears that many of you enjoy the aggression so much that you'd rather drive like a bully than drive fast.
2013-05-09 05:36:58 PM  
1 vote:

skozlaw: fredklein: You can't just up and say say "I think this law is wrong" and expect to be allowed to get away with breaking it.

Really? I've gotten away with it a lot more than not. One ticket in 20 years. I speed almost every day.

I think you might be full of crap.


Hope you don't live next door to someone who disagrees with the Laws against kidnapping/rape/murder...
2013-05-09 05:34:51 PM  
1 vote:

fredklein: And one of those 'risks' is getting your Drivers License taken away. Then you can't drive AT ALL


You're kidding right?

When you lose your license, do they chop off your hands or something where you live?
2013-05-09 05:02:36 PM  
1 vote:
Whateva whateva, I drive a Mustang, I do what I want.
2013-05-09 04:49:26 PM  
1 vote:

Gentoolive: The All-Powerful Atheismo: As a guy who thinks people who drive more than 5 or 10 over the speed limit are dangerous psychotics except in case of extreme emergency, This is an idea I can support.

The left lane is for people going the speed limit or slightly over.  Not for slow driving.

You are the one everyone in this thread is complaining about.


Hilarious, retarded, and wrong.

Considering that I agree with everyone in this thread that says this law is a good idea.

BTW if you feel the need or desire to go 80 in a 65 when there is a single other car on the road, (which there always is around here), you are a dangerous person.
2013-05-09 04:42:26 PM  
1 vote:
bschool.pepperdine.edu


We're gonna need more ticket books!
2013-05-09 04:35:29 PM  
1 vote:

lennavan: moothemagiccow: You could save 172 hours (over a WEEK) if you moved 10 miles closer to your workplace.

Yeah, you should see the housing prices 10 miles closer to my work places.  I'm willing to sacrifice 172 hours a year so I can afford a house rather than still live in a shiatty apartment for the same price.

What do I get in return for those 50 hours I lose by driving 5 mph slower?  It sure as fark isn't increased safety.

moothemagiccow: You could also save 277 hours (11 days) if you worked from home one day a week.

I cannot legally work from home.  You need permits and shiat to use some of this science stuff.  The rest, well if you can convince my boss to buy me a $200,000 microscope to use at home, I'm all for it.

Hey, I'm open to more suggestions on how to save more time on the road.  But you're not telling me to do something instead of speeding.  You're giving me ideas to use in addition to speeding.  And by the way,  5mph over the limit is not so terrible.


If you secretly moved into some forgotten basement corner of the building where you work, you wouldn't have to drive at all. Catch rain water for sponge baths and hunt rats for food. For the good of the planet. Plus, good exercise (the rat hunting - they're wily from living among humans for so long).
2013-05-09 04:22:58 PM  
1 vote:
What we need is a series of switches - great wall structures on a pivot, that when a vehicle is detected going slower than the average of speed used in that lane during the past two hours - the wall will pivot to obstruct the offending vehicle, and soundly flip that sonofabiatch into the next lane on the right.

I figure you'd only go slow in the far left lane once in your life.
2013-05-09 04:14:15 PM  
1 vote:

Diogenes: Alot of anger and frustration being expressed in this thread.

When you embrace that fact that everyone else is more important than you, you won't be nearly as frustrated with driving.


I sarcastically yell "I'M IMPORTANT" when d-bags go by on the cell phone after doing something tremendously stupid.
2013-05-09 04:04:09 PM  
1 vote:
Here are my rules to the road.

1. Don't drive too fast when it will inconvenience ME.
2. Don't drive too fast when it will inconvenience ME.
3. No right turns when it will inconvenience ME.
4. No left turns when it will inconvenience ME.
5. No going straight when it will inconvenience ME.
6. No merging when it will inconvenience ME.
7. No staying in the same lane when it will inconvenience ME.
8. No passing when it will inconvenience ME.
9. No huge gas guzzling SUVs when it will inconvenience ME.
10. No fuel efficient small cars or hybrids when it will inconvenience ME.

In fact, if everyone would just remember to ask themselves if what they are about to do will inconvenience ME, before they do it, driving would be a lot better for everyone.
2013-05-09 03:57:46 PM  
1 vote:

The All-Powerful Atheismo: As a guy who thinks people who drive more than 5 or 10 over the speed limit are dangerous psychotics except in case of extreme emergency, This is an idea I can support.

The left lane is for people going the speed limit or slightly over.  Not for slow driving.


You are the one everyone in this thread is complaining about.
2013-05-09 03:45:29 PM  
1 vote:
There was an interesting study correlating road rage to being circumcised, apparently cut men get much more upset about people driving slow in the 'fast lane' than uncut men.

Probably due to their inability to have complete sexual satisfaction.
2013-05-09 03:44:10 PM  
1 vote:
As someone who spent 12 hours driving on freeway traffic over the last 2 days (traveling for a funeral) I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

My wife likes to remind me what a terrible driver I am, especially when I'm passing someone by going into the left lane, and then I will get back over into the right lane (even if nobody is behind me in the left lane).  Paraphrasing "Pick a lane and stick to it"...Of course I let her know that my opinion differed from hers and miles of butt hurt ensued.
2013-05-09 03:43:32 PM  
1 vote:
I suggest amending the law:

If anyone protests "But everyone else was speeding!" the cop gets to taze them before issuing the ticket.
2013-05-09 03:32:21 PM  
1 vote:

imfallen_angel: How about just going with a pet peeve while driving bingo.

1- slow drivers

2- drivers that have no clue on how to use their signal lights

3- drivers that believe that those lines on the ground are only for decoration and doesn't apply to them

4- similar to #3, but these drivers believe that regardless of how many lanes they are, that they are driving on all of them, swerving from one side of the road to the other back and forth, over and over again, I'm guessing after learning to drive on a racing video game.

5- getting stuck behind the asshat in the standard at a red light in a small hill, where the asshat cannot handle being able to prevent his vehicle from creeping backwards bit by bit as he has no ability with a clutch. (but will assure you of how great a driver they are)

6- cellphones, either talking or texting, they should be pulled over and kicked and such like a faulty printer.  I've see idiots holding their cells to their head while letting go of the steering wheel because they needed to make gestures while talking. Same with the ones applying make-up while driving.

7- dogs, another scenario where the driver that has the dog on their lap (or jumping all over the place) should be pulled over and beaten until their spleen comes out.

8- bumper riders... "look idiot, I'm either going at the limit or even higher (and that's the limit that I will go as I refuse to get a ticket over your dumbass), there is no way for me to let you pass right now because if I could I would as I enjoy having a buffer for the cops to go after, and if you seriously need to get to that red light 3 seconds faster so you can show your amazing braking abilities, you should go rent a racetrack and get it out of your system."


9- Drivers who refuse to merge when their lane is ending until the lines force them over.  Once they hit the end of the lane, they just start drifting into the through lane (no signal of course) and force their way in, usually slowing down (they think the proper way to merge into 75 MPH traffic is to slow down to 45).  It seems like they are thinking "Well, there's no way I could have forseen this!  Well, the lines are forcing me over, nothing I can do, it's out of my hands!".  These morons drive the same route every day but don't seem to remember that the lane ends, maybe they think the DOT came in overnight and extended the lane.
2013-05-09 03:23:52 PM  
1 vote:
Good.  Now maybe they'll start doing something about:

1.  People standing still on the left side of the escalator, and
2.  People in the "12 Items or Less" checkout lane with anything more than 12 items to pay for.
2013-05-09 03:23:15 PM  
1 vote:
They didn't care they were just dying to get off.
2013-05-09 03:17:49 PM  
1 vote:
Lotsa butthurt considering you ostensibly "won" here.
2013-05-09 03:14:08 PM  
1 vote:
THAT will be enforced. Totally. No foolies. For reals.
2013-05-09 03:14:03 PM  
1 vote:

eraser8: Jon iz teh kewl: eraser8: Lots of states have been doing similar things for years:

[www.mesalek.com image 650x400]

they should make the speed limit 65 and make minimum 64.68 and monitor the road with lasers

Wait...are the lasers for measuring speed of for vaporizing offenders?


the lasers notify the planes

www.alienspouse.com
2013-05-09 03:13:28 PM  
1 vote:
The Dad of a HS buddy was teaching him to drive. Told him, among other things, not to put the turn signal on until he was INTO the turn.... didn't want to wear out the bulb prematurely,
2013-05-09 03:10:27 PM  
1 vote:
So a bunch of illiterate, red-neck, shiat-kickers think that passing even more legislation will change the way an even bigger bunch of illiterate, red-neck, shiat-kickers will drive.  That's Florida in one.
2013-05-09 03:10:16 PM  
1 vote:

Dr_Gene: I once knew an old bag senior citizen who intentionally drove slow in the fast/passing lane.
She said it was for safety reasons: "The families of those fast drivers will thank me for ensuring they got home safely after driving at a nice, safe speed"


Until the frustrated driver goes home and beats his or her spouse and children mercilessly.
2013-05-09 03:08:28 PM  
1 vote:
If we wanted sane Left Lane Laws, it would be completely legal to drag left lane squatters from their vehicles and beat them with sticks.

/something both Democrats and Republicans can get behind.  Republicans because Hey, Violence! and Democrats because they can draft minutae regulating the size, heft and composition of the sticks and the duration of the beating.
2013-05-09 03:07:46 PM  
1 vote:
I once knew an old bag senior citizen who intentionally drove slow in the fast/passing lane.
She said it was for safety reasons: "The families of those fast drivers will thank me for ensuring they got home safely after driving at a nice, safe speed"
2013-05-09 03:00:05 PM  
1 vote:

Cyno01: eraser8: I_Am_Weasel: I assume they once again failed to address the menace of uncanceled turn signals?

The people I want cannonized* are the people who brake and only use their turn signals once they've slowed down to 5 miles per hour.  Please, for the love of all that is good, signal your turn BEFORE applying the brake.

*cannonized: to be shot out of a cannon.  Not to be confused with canonized: to be declared a saint.

Also people who wait to put on their directional until the light turns green.


But that clicking sound is the  worst sound in the world!
2013-05-09 02:37:56 PM  
1 vote:
Alot of anger and frustration being expressed in this thread.

When you embrace that fact that everyone else is more important than you, you won't be nearly as frustrated with driving.
2013-05-09 02:11:40 PM  
1 vote:
Yeah, this will be enforced.

*rolls eyes*

"Feel good" legislation.

Now excuse me, I have a call from CARD SERVICES coming in.
2013-05-09 01:58:54 PM  
1 vote:
I assume they once again failed to address the menace of uncanceled turn signals?
2013-05-09 01:35:36 PM  
1 vote:

TheHighlandHowler: scottydoesntknow: it should be anything slower than the posted speed limit

I think VA is like this for trucks.


I remember going to Houston from Dallas one summer between semesters. Two douchebag big-rigs were doing 68 (in a 70) and right next to each other, taking up both lanes. This went on for a few minutes (everyone behind honking, flashing lights, etc.) I'm right behind him and I notice he has one of those "How Am I Driving?" stickers.

I call it up, speak to the woman on the other line, tell her exactly what's happening and threaten to call Highway Patrol because they're obstructing traffic. About one minute later the douchebag in the left lane hits his brakes (slowing everyone down), and gets over into the right behind the other one.

He probably got about 40 middle fingers as everyone was passing him.
Pud
2013-05-09 01:12:18 PM  
1 vote:
I think it should be legal to do the PIT maneuver on any car pacing the car in the lane to their right. If you're going to do the same speed as the car next to you, get in front of them, get behind them, just get the hell out of MY way
2013-05-09 01:10:19 PM  
1 vote:
Fark that, it should be anything slower than the posted speed limit (barring traffic/accidents). If you're in the left lane going 56 in a 65 you're still royally farking up traffic flow.

/Hate chicken-shiat douchebags that just ride in the left lane because they don't know how to actually drive
 
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