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(CNN)   Carnival Cruise line continues to lose paying customers   (cnn.com) divider line 75
    More: Obvious, Eastern states of Australia, Carnival Triumph, Seven Network, cruise line, Carnival Dream, human waste  
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7797 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 May 2013 at 11:20 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-09 09:50:40 AM
this one.

by the way, that is a horrible way to go.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-05-09 09:56:02 AM
The second one probably just thought the first was the Captain and decided to follow.
 
2013-05-09 11:21:53 AM
nice job subby!
 
2013-05-09 11:23:20 AM
Somewhere, a PR firm is buzzing.
 
2013-05-09 11:23:35 AM
"It's game on and we are going to be pulling out all stops and mixing our metaphors to try and find these people," Hutchings said.
 
2013-05-09 11:26:07 AM
So even though they were traveling with family and friends, nobody noticed until their luggage remained unclaimed?  Sounds like a close family....
 
2013-05-09 11:26:56 AM
poop deck?
 
2013-05-09 11:27:41 AM
You go, we go.
 
2013-05-09 11:27:53 AM
i can't believe there are protesters.  people seriously need to get lives
 
2013-05-09 11:28:02 AM
How do you fall off a boat?
 
2013-05-09 11:28:33 AM
Of all the places to get lost that sounds like the worst.
 
2013-05-09 11:28:36 AM
I have never been interested in going on a cruise because it seemed like it would be dull. I never realized the ever-present specter of death was such a big part of the experience.
 
2013-05-09 11:29:17 AM

Lord_Dubu: "It's game on and we are going to be pulling out all stops and mixing our metaphors to try and find these people," Hutchings said.


I'm just glad they are keeping their ears to the grindstone.
 
2013-05-09 11:29:59 AM

Wellon Dowd: I have never been interested in going on a cruise because it seemed like it would be dull. I never realized the ever-present specter of death was such a big part of the experience.


And poop.  Don't forget the poop.
 
2013-05-09 11:30:27 AM

Tumunga: How do you fall off a boat?


Drunken sex, balcony rail.

"Honey, no one can see us, nothing can go wrong..."
 
GBB
2013-05-09 11:30:29 AM

Tumunga: How do you fall off a boat?


Screaming and flailing
 
2013-05-09 11:31:09 AM

Kyosuke: Lord_Dubu: "It's game on and we are going to be pulling out all stops and mixing our metaphors to try and find these people," Hutchings said.

I'm just glad they are keeping their ears to the grindstone.


But are they leaving no turn unstoned?
 
2013-05-09 11:31:21 AM
Well you can't really blame this one on Carnival. Aren't those two kind of young to be on a cruise anyway? When I think of cruise passengers I picture old people like my dad and his new wife playing shuffleboard and hitting the buffet and has-been actors from the 1970s like on Love Boat.
 
2013-05-09 11:31:26 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-09 11:33:21 AM

Tumunga: How do you fall off a boat?


Seriously. I've been on a cruise ship before. I don't see how someone can accidentally fall in. You would have to really try to go overboard. And two people simultaneously? I just don't see how.
 
2013-05-09 11:35:53 AM
But it is CNN... are we sure this is even a true story about a ship ?

It's probably 1 person missing off a train in Mumbai,  later found.
 
2013-05-09 11:36:00 AM

Wellon Dowd: I have never been interested in going on a cruise because it seemed like it would be dull. I never realized the ever-present specter of death was such a big part of the experience.


I never was until we had a kid...now it seems like a good way to take a vacation without having to haul around the kid stuff everywhere we go. At least until she's old enough to get around without a diaper bag and all that.

Disney, though. If I am going to be stranded at sea with no food and horrible diarrhea, there had better be fun, damn it.
 
2013-05-09 11:36:58 AM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-05-09 11:39:00 AM
i like how optimistic the guy is.  setting himself up for disappointment.  they NEVER get found...
 
2013-05-09 11:40:15 AM

Tumunga: How do you fall off a boat?


i took a cruise ship from baltimore to the bahamas.  from baltimore to florida, the ship is moving at commuter speed, not cruising speed.  it is so windy on the top deck, they have to close it.  otherwise, people would be falling off that deck left and right.  add some rough seas and a rain-soaked surface, and i am surprised it doesn't happen more often.
 
2013-05-09 11:40:23 AM

Tumunga: How do you fall off a boat?


Alcohol and gravity.
 
2013-05-09 11:41:44 AM
Hey, you book passage on a murder mystery cruise you get what you pay for.
They bought their tickets,
They knew what was coming.
No one on the buffet line the next day had any complaints.
 
2013-05-09 11:41:57 AM

Kyosuke: Tumunga: How do you fall off a boat?

Drunken sex, balcony rail.

"Honey, no one can see us, nothing can go wrong..."


Whole lotta this.  Or she could have been sitting on the rail posing for pictures, goes over, he tries to grab her, goes over too.
 
2013-05-09 11:42:37 AM
Off the coast of Australia? They were dead before they hit the water.
 
2013-05-09 11:43:30 AM

Lord_Dubu: "It's game on and we are going to be pulling out all stops and mixing our metaphors to try and find these people," Hutchings said.


relax, it's all water ... *puts on glasses* .. under the bridge now.
 
2013-05-09 11:44:07 AM

FrancoFile: Kyosuke: Tumunga: How do you fall off a boat?

Drunken sex, balcony rail.

"Honey, no one can see us, nothing can go wrong..."

Whole lotta this.  Or she could have been sitting on the rail posing for pictures, goes over, he tries to grab her, goes over too.


Leaving the camera behind.
I saw that twilight zone.
 
2013-05-09 11:44:16 AM

MadMonk: So even though they were traveling with family and friends, nobody noticed until their luggage remained unclaimed?  Sounds like a close family....


That was my first thought, too... wouldn't the family be concerned?
 
2013-05-09 11:45:11 AM

Gonz: Tumunga: How do you fall off a boat?

Alcohol and gravity.


anguish and fear
 
2013-05-09 11:46:00 AM

vpb: The second one probably just thought the first was the Captain and decided to follow.


Pete and Repeat fell off a boat. Who was phone?
 
2013-05-09 11:46:00 AM
Schools of sharks follow those things, chumming along.
 
2013-05-09 11:47:25 AM
Murder, Suicide.
 
2013-05-09 11:48:55 AM

Catlenfell: Murder, Suicide.


In that order.
 
2013-05-09 11:49:20 AM
wikihow ... to fall off a cruise ship:

Be reasonable. If you have been stranded for more than about three or four hours and no ships have happened to pass by, your chances of survival are extremely low. While it may be depressing, console yourself with memories of good times, the fact that you will probably pass out before you drown.
 
2013-05-09 11:50:16 AM
static.tvfanatic.com
 
2013-05-09 11:51:06 AM
so, if i'm keeping count correctly, we now have:
- booze cruise (where you get likkered up)
- dooz cruise (where you get poopered up)
- loose cruise (where you get unfound)

did i miss any yet?
 
2013-05-09 11:51:12 AM

SlothB77: wikihow ... to fall off a cruise ship:

Be reasonable. If you have been stranded for more than about three or four hours and no ships have happened to pass by, your chances of survival are extremely low. While it may be depressing, console yourself with memories of good times, the fact that you will probably pass out before you drown.


Damn, that's not even enough time to start eating the other one.
 
2013-05-09 11:51:50 AM

SlothB77: wikihow ... to fall off a cruise ship:

Be reasonable. If you have been stranded for more than about three or four hours and no ships have happened to pass by, your chances of survival are extremely low. While it may be depressing, console yourself with memories of good times, the fact that you will probably pass out before you drown.


Lie back and think of England.
 
2013-05-09 11:52:08 AM
sasha869.chat.ru
 
2013-05-09 11:56:07 AM

Lord_Dubu: "It's game on and we are going to be pulling out all stops and mixing our metaphors to try and find these people," Hutchings said.


mediasnobs.com

That's it man, game on man, game on!
 
2013-05-09 11:57:54 AM

imtheonlylp: so, if i'm keeping count correctly, we now have:
- booze cruise (where you get likkered up)
- dooz cruise (where you get poopered up)
- loose cruise (where you get unfound)

did i miss any yet?


The Blues cruise, where you're on a mission from God.
 
2013-05-09 12:01:28 PM
Time to put chicken-wire over all the open air areas so the morans dont suicide themselves.
 
2013-05-09 12:02:51 PM

toraque: imtheonlylp: so, if i'm keeping count correctly, we now have:
- booze cruise (where you get likkered up)
- dooz cruise (where you get poopered up)
- loose cruise (where you get unfound)

did i miss any yet?

The Blues cruise, where you're on a mission from God.


Only if you figure out Steve's puzzles, however.
 
2013-05-09 12:04:37 PM

Kyosuke: toraque: imtheonlylp: so, if i'm keeping count correctly, we now have:
- booze cruise (where you get likkered up)
- dooz cruise (where you get poopered up)
- loose cruise (where you get unfound)

did i miss any yet?

The Blues cruise, where you're on a mission from God.

Only if you figure out Steve's puzzles, however.


Also they play Songs for Dustmites.
/Just realized he has another album.
 
2013-05-09 12:07:02 PM

imtheonlylp: so, if i'm keeping count correctly, we now have:
- booze cruise (where you get likkered up)
- dooz cruise (where you get poopered up)
- loose cruise (where you get unfound)

did i miss any yet?


I distinctly heard him say "Jews cruise."
 
2013-05-09 12:07:20 PM
oh and...

lose*

"loose cruise" would be a totally different three hour tour...
 
2013-05-09 12:08:10 PM
Let them go, man. They're gone.
 
2013-05-09 12:13:32 PM

imtheonlylp: oh and...

lose*

"loose cruise" would be a totally different three hour tour...


That's the norovirus cruise.
 
2013-05-09 12:17:27 PM
Hmm. I if the bodies are never found will they issue death certificates?

1. Bring emergency floatation, waterproof radio/GPS transceiver, have a friend get a boat and wait at a predetermined location. Book a low balcony room.
2. Wait until late when nobody is looking, contact the waiting boat, jump overboard and wait to be picked up. Go into hiding.
3. Family collects settlement from cruise line plus a pile of life insurance
 
2013-05-09 12:24:25 PM

FrancoFile: Kyosuke: Tumunga: How do you fall off a boat?

Drunken sex, balcony rail.

"Honey, no one can see us, nothing can go wrong..."

Whole lotta this.  Or she could have been sitting on the rail posing for pictures, goes over, he tries to grab her, goes over too.


Mrs bearcats shut me down on balcony sex during our honeymoon, sad times. She was concerned about falling over or the nosy, Asian tiger mom yelling at us (again) for making too much noise. I guess this story makes her concerns seem legit now.

That would be a bad way to go though. That's a long fall to the water, and, if you're still conscious, being stranded with little chance of rescue would really suck.
 
2013-05-09 12:25:15 PM

Tumunga: How do you fall off a boat?


The cruise lines probably don't like to talk about it, but they've had several individuals go over recreating this...

i1.cdnds.net

//seriously
 
2013-05-09 12:25:38 PM

SlothB77: Tumunga: How do you fall off a boat?

i took a cruise ship from baltimore to the bahamas.  from baltimore to florida, the ship is moving at commuter speed, not cruising speed.  it is so windy on the top deck, they have to close it.  otherwise, people would be falling off that deck left and right.  add some rough seas and a rain-soaked surface, and i am surprised it doesn't happen more often.


It happens more often than you hear about in the news. I think this just got picked up by multiple news sources because it's Carnival, and people are having fun piling on them after all of their issues this past year.

If you want to be optimistic about their chances, just a couple weeks ago a man lost at sea (fell overboard in the middle of the night while seasick) got rescued alive  an incredible 27 hours after he fell (and without a lifejacket, 11 miles from where he fell). Time is really of the essence.... I imagine that's close to the upper limit if someone is in reasonably good health and a solid swimmer, but there's still a chance they rescue these people.
 
2013-05-09 12:29:34 PM

Supes: If you want to be optimistic about their chances, just a couple weeks ago a man lost at sea (fell overboard in the middle of the night while seasick) got rescued alive an incredible 27 hours after he fell (and without a lifejacket, 11 miles from where he fell). Time is really of the essence.... I imagine that's close to the upper limit if someone is in reasonably good health and a solid swimmer, but there's still a chance they rescue these people.


Damn. Being seasick you know he was already weak and dehydrated. Add that to the impact and he really is a lucky guy.
 
2013-05-09 12:30:20 PM

Tsar_Bomba1: The cruise lines probably don't like to talk about it, but they've had several individuals go over recreating this...


Holy shiat, are you serious?

/seriously

Well there you have it. WOW.
 
2013-05-09 12:33:29 PM

Mugato: Tsar_Bomba1: The cruise lines probably don't like to talk about it, but they've had several individuals go over recreating this...

Holy shiat, are you serious?

/seriously

Well there you have it. WOW.


It would be funny, yes, but the bow area of cruise ships are generally reserved for the crew - no guests. Probably because of stupid people that would do this.
 
2013-05-09 12:36:21 PM
Can you imagine falling overboard and drifting aimlessly, and then when another ship finally comes along no one sees you and the ship runs over you and you get sucked into the screws?

I think that would be a horrible way to die.
 
2013-05-09 12:37:48 PM

Wellon Dowd: I have never been interested in going on a cruise because it seemed like it would be dull. I never realized the ever-present specter of death was such a big part of the experience.


Cruises are dull if you are one of those people that hate doing anything anyone else finds fun.
 
2013-05-09 12:40:16 PM
Wife and MIL are going on a Carnival cruise next week. I'm making sure that their affairs are in order.

/Getting a kick...
 
2013-05-09 01:01:25 PM

toraque: imtheonlylp: so, if i'm keeping count correctly, we now have:
- booze cruise (where you get likkered up)
- dooz cruise (where you get poopered up)
- loose cruise (where you get unfound)

did i miss any yet?

The Blues cruise, where you're on a mission from God.


Don't you blaspheme in here.
 
2013-05-09 01:17:29 PM

TheYeti: Disney, though. If I am going to be stranded at sea with no food and horrible diarrhea, there had better be fun, damn it.


Are Disney cruises more fun than a regular cruise? My wife and I did a Royal Caribbean cruise a decade ago, and I wouldn't mind doing another one. I have two daughters now though, which has me leaning towards an actual Disney vacation.

Bottom line: are there princesses?
 
2013-05-09 01:33:28 PM

katemonster: MadMonk: So even though they were traveling with family and friends, nobody noticed until their luggage remained unclaimed?  Sounds like a close family....

That was my first thought, too... wouldn't the family be concerned?


Yeaaaaah, I'm going to go ahead and say there's a lot more to this story.
 
2013-05-09 01:40:18 PM
overboard off Australia

sites.cdnis.edu.hk
Forget them, they're gone.
 
2013-05-09 01:52:31 PM
Yep, I'm going with sucide by cruise ship.
 
2013-05-09 03:07:09 PM
Carnival Cruise line continues to lose paying customers

Littorally!

*badum tish*
 
2013-05-09 03:11:48 PM
Well chum, I hate to douse your hopes in a sea of dark pessimism, but today we find ourselves neck-deep in a turbulent  ocean of loneliness and despair.  We both feel as if we have been set adrift with no land in sight and desperately cling to each other while struggling through the waves of uncertainty and misery.  Oh, that we only tread water and make no headway in the choppy weather of our hearts, we must keep our heads above water and ever looking for that safe harbor of love and safety.  May we ever prevail and be lifted up from these dire straits and taken aboard a vessel of salvation to once again sail into safer waters and embark on new adventures!

/or we can be eaten by sharks.
 
2013-05-09 03:25:02 PM

endmile: Seriously. I've been on a cruise ship before. I don't see how someone can accidentally fall in. You would have to really try to go overboard. And two people simultaneously? I just don't see how.


Somebody else mentioned drunk sex as a possibility.
 
2013-05-09 03:30:54 PM
Nobody mentioned Open Water?

Disturbing flick based on a true story:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0374102/
 
2013-05-09 03:35:15 PM

h0tsauce: Carnival Cruise line continues to lose paying customers

Littorally!

*badum tish*


Lotion_Motion: Well chum, I hate to douse your hopes in a sea of dark pessimism, but today we find ourselves neck-deep in a turbulent  ocean of loneliness and despair.  We both feel as if we have been set Tadrift with no land in sight and desperately cling to each other while struggling through the waves of uncertainty and misery.  Oh, that we only tread water and make no headway in the choppy weather of our hearts, we must keep our heads above water and ever looking for that safe harbor of love and safety.  May we ever prevail and be lifted up from these dire straits and taken aboard a vessel of salvation to once again sail into safer waters and embark on new adventures!

/or we can be eaten by sharks.


Here we can see the two different theories about punned Fark posts.

h0tsauce goes for literate, slightly obscure, and minimalist.
Lotion_Motion exhausts the thesaurus.

You can decide which you like best.

[taco_girl_why_not_both.jpg]
 
2013-05-09 03:46:36 PM

FrancoFile: Kyosuke: Tumunga: How do you fall off a boat?

Drunken sex, balcony rail.

"Honey, no one can see us, nothing can go wrong..."

Whole lotta this.  Or she could have been sitting on the rail posing for pictures, goes over, he tries to grab her, goes over too.


I bet she went over first, and he followed because he couldn't get his tallywacker out in time...kind of like a pair of Chinese handcuffs.
 
2013-05-09 04:14:11 PM

skrame: TheYeti: Disney, though. If I am going to be stranded at sea with no food and horrible diarrhea, there had better be fun, damn it.

Are Disney cruises more fun than a regular cruise? My wife and I did a Royal Caribbean cruise a decade ago, and I wouldn't mind doing another one. I have two daughters now though, which has me leaning towards an actual Disney vacation.

Bottom line: are there princesses?


I haven't been yet, but they've come highly recommended from parent friends of ours...and from what I understand, there are princesses.

Just don't end up in Disney jail!
 
2013-05-09 06:16:51 PM

TheYeti: skrame: TheYeti: Disney, though. If I am going to be stranded at sea with no food and horrible diarrhea, there had better be fun, damn it.

Are Disney cruises more fun than a regular cruise? My wife and I did a Royal Caribbean cruise a decade ago, and I wouldn't mind doing another one. I have two daughters now though, which has me leaning towards an actual Disney vacation.

Bottom line: are there princesses?

I haven't been yet, but they've come highly recommended from parent friends of ours...and from what I understand, there are princesses.

Just don't end up in Disney jail!


Don't worry; the princesses are for my daughters, not me.

/unless Jasmine is around.
 
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