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(National Review)   Stephen King may be for gun control, but his books are proof why we need the Second Amendment   (nationalreview.com ) divider line
    More: Obvious, Stephen King, accelerant  
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1335 clicks; posted to Politics » on 09 May 2013 at 9:47 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-05-09 07:52:34 AM  
In The Stand, only a few bad guys had guns.

If some of the survivors had guns on the east coast, they could have just hunted deer and stuff and not had to walk all the way to kansas just to find some crazy old black lady with enough corn to share some food.
 
2013-05-09 08:00:35 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

Gary Busey here for the NRA. The only thing that can stop a werewolf is a good guy with a gun. Especially if that good guy is drunk and coked up. Did I tell you about the aliens?
 
2013-05-09 08:06:16 AM  
He has forgotten the face of his father.
 
2013-05-09 08:25:43 AM  
King's The Long Walk explores what would happen to citizens if the only entity armed were the government. They become the playthings of the state and are forced to humiliate themselves in such "sport" as walking contests on penalty of death. Soldiers flank the participants in this Americanized version of the Bataan Death March and kill them when they straggle or collapse.

King's The Long Walk was an obvious allegory for Vietnam, which was still going on when he wrote it, dumbass. Way to miss the point, buddy, bet you would have supported the draft if you were alive then.
 
2013-05-09 08:26:53 AM  

vernonFL: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 850x358]

Gary Busey here for the NRA. The only thing that can stop a werewolf is a good guy with a gun. Especially if that good guy is drunk and coked up. Did I tell you about the aliens?


Gary Busey and Corey Haim. Oh man. Those must have been the days.
 
2013-05-09 08:43:22 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

The only thing that can stop a possessed 18 wheeler is Emilio Estevez.
 
2013-05-09 08:44:41 AM  
All work and no gunplay makes Jack a very dull boy
 
2013-05-09 09:14:38 AM  
Despite King's liberal politics, his books show the dangers to civil liberties and safety that can occur when law-abiding citizens are rendered weaponless.

*blink*

*blink*
 
2013-05-09 09:16:30 AM  
By this argument we should all be given pyrokinesis.  What right does the government have to tell me I can't blow shiat up with a thought!?!
 
2013-05-09 09:23:41 AM  

Diogenes: By this argument we should all be given pyrokinesis.  What right does the government have to tell me I can't blow shiat up with a thought!?!


Actually, you can buy a flamethrower if you want.  They aren't regulated at the federal level because they aren't firearms (state laws may vary).
 
2013-05-09 09:24:50 AM  

Diogenes: By this argument we should all be given pyrokinesis.  What right does the government have to tell me I can't blow shiat up with a thought!?!


Who needs pyrokinesis? I do it better and faster than the Carries of the world with cheeze doodles, newspaper, and a zippo.
 
2013-05-09 09:26:27 AM  

dittybopper: Diogenes: By this argument we should all be given pyrokinesis.  What right does the government have to tell me I can't blow shiat up with a thought!?!

Actually, you can buy a flamethrower if you want.  They aren't regulated at the federal level because they aren't firearms (state laws may vary).


Artificial restriction.  That's like saying we should limit clip capacity.
 
2013-05-09 09:28:16 AM  
Yeah, if I remember correctly, in "It" they just shot the clown the first time they saw him; as I recall the book was 14 pages long.
 
2013-05-09 09:35:11 AM  

BunkoSquad: Yeah, if I remember correctly, in "It" they just shot the clown the first time they saw him; as I recall the book was 14 pages long.


I shot the clown,
but I did not shoot the ringmaster.
 
2013-05-09 09:35:24 AM  

i586.photobucket.com

 
2013-05-09 09:40:57 AM  

BunkoSquad: Yeah, if I remember correctly, in "It" they just shot the clown the first time they saw him; as I recall the book was 14 pages long.


No no, that book taught us to gang-bang the neighbor girl if we wanted to defeat evil. Not guns.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-05-09 09:52:59 AM  
I wonder who funds the NRO?  One of those low budget right wing derp sites can do the same thing for a fraction of the cost.
 
2013-05-09 09:55:24 AM  

dittybopper: I shot the clown,
but I did not shoot the giant monster spider form IT takes at the end and then they rip it's proverbial guts out.


FTFY
 
2013-05-09 09:58:42 AM  

Confabulat: BunkoSquad: Yeah, if I remember correctly, in "It" they just shot the clown the first time they saw him; as I recall the book was 14 pages long.

No no, that book taught us to gang-bang the neighbor girl if we wanted to defeat evil. Not guns.


It's a floor wax *AND* a dessert topping.
 
2013-05-09 09:59:04 AM  
Maggots who forget that Stephen King's books are fiction have forgot the faces of their fathers.
 
2013-05-09 09:59:26 AM  
Right, because at the end of Needful Things, once everybody got guns, they decided to handle their problems like responsible gun owners.
 
2013-05-09 10:05:54 AM  

Stephen King may be for gun control, but his books are proof why we need the Second Amendment editors

 
2013-05-09 10:06:45 AM  
Michael Crichton may think dinosaurs don't actually exist, but his books are proof that a T-Rex is loose in San Diego.
 
2013-05-09 10:07:32 AM  

UNC_Samurai: Stephen King may be for gun control, but his books are proof why we need the Second Amendment editors


HIS SHORT STORIES ARE JUST FINE THANK YOU VERY MUCH....the endings to his novels on the other hand.
 
2013-05-09 10:11:47 AM  

I_C_Weener: i586.photobucket.com


Man, that is one creepy gif.

And thanks a bunch for the TotalFark! Much appreciated.
 
2013-05-09 10:14:22 AM  
In The Stand, after millions of American citizens are wiped out by a "superflu" created in an Army lab, the libertarian argument of how helpless an unarmed citizenry would be in a country where only criminals and the Army have guns is validated in the book's black-helicopter America. Televised broadcasts show citizens in a lethal gauntlet between the army on one side and far-left terrorists on the other. Freedom of the press is eradicated as broadcasters are forced to read government propaganda with a gun literally pointed at their heads. The First Amendment is briefly resumed only when the news crew smuggles in guns, but they are soon executed by the more advanced weapons of an invading army.

a) Please tell me where in the book black helicopters exist, other than the ones destroyed by Trashy outside of Vegas.
2) I must have missed the part about far-left terrorists.  maybe I should go back and read the book for about the tenth time.
iii) I'm pretty sure in the news scene, everybody gets dead.  Good guys and bad guys.  Pretty much what happens when everybody has guns.
 
2013-05-09 10:14:24 AM  
Danielle Steele may be against rape, but her books are proof that all women crave being taken roughly by a hunk with a throbbing member.
 
2013-05-09 10:15:53 AM  
Look, just because you Ayn Rand-worshipping, John Galt-wannabe libtardians base your entire set of beliefs on a fictional novel revolving around a perpetual motion machine doesn't mean that we can start hoarding guns cause a half-raven, half-man could start to take control afterf a fictional supervirus wipes out most of the planet's people.  Put down the books and enjoy reality for a bit.
 
2013-05-09 10:15:59 AM  
The gun scene from a King book I best remember is in The Regulatorswhen one of the good guys has a gun.  It's a teenage boy who is carrying it to impress a girl, but is so frightened and on edge that he accidentally shoots his neighbor in the face, and is so overcome with the guilt of it that he then shoots himself in the head in front of his twin brother.

So, yeah.  A realistic portrayal of how guns can be used in life or death situations.
 
2013-05-09 10:15:59 AM  
It must be a sad world to live in when you can't simply enjoy a book, movie or song for the pure entertainment value. How farked up do you have to be to see piece of art and try to deconstruct the hidden political message?

I'm pretty sure any political agenda that slips into the works of King are most likely not intentional. SK is out for one thing and one thing only when he tells a story. He wants you to shiat your pants.
 
2013-05-09 10:16:35 AM  

Diogenes: Danielle Steele may be against rape, but her books are proof that all women crave being taken roughly by a hunk with a throbbing member.


Ewww I farking hate romance novels.
 
2013-05-09 10:17:21 AM  
Non Rational Opinions

Neurotic Right-wing Obsessions

Neutered Republican Obedience

Nationalist Racist Oligarchy

Nitwit Reactionary Obtuseness
 
2013-05-09 10:17:29 AM  

thurstonxhowell: Michael Crichton may think dinosaurs don't actually exist, but his books are proof that a T-Rex is loose in San Diego.


I think voties are broke.  I Funnied that and it's not showing up. :-(
 
2013-05-09 10:18:21 AM  

A Terrible Human: UNC_Samurai: Stephen King may be for gun control, but his books are proof why we need the Second Amendment editors

HIS SHORT STORIES ARE JUST FINE THANK YOU VERY MUCH....the endings to his novels on the other hand.


Some of his long novels are awesome - IT, The Stand.

Some are not. The Tommyknockers remains, to this day, the only novel I have ever failed to finish.

// through 330 pages, a "coked out" farmer finds a large pewter dish
 
2013-05-09 10:22:40 AM  
I'm amused by an NRA member reading Cujo and getting infuriated that the mom didn't have a gun in the car, DAMMIT ALL TO HELL OBAMA
 
2013-05-09 10:23:33 AM  
Did NRO just make a death threat against Stephen King? His writing isn't that bad, jeez.
 
2013-05-09 10:23:44 AM  

Dr Dreidel: Some of his long novels are awesome - IT, The Stand.


Why yeah they are it's just with some of his novels the endings suck. Cell comes to mind for that. I really liked how The Shining ended,the movie was great but I liked the book ending better.
 
2013-05-09 10:27:46 AM  

derpy: In The Stand, after millions of American citizens are wiped out by a "superflu" created in an Army lab, the libertarian argument of how helpless an unarmed citizenry would be in a country where only criminals and the Army have guns is validated in the book's black-helicopter America. Televised broadcasts show citizens in a lethal gauntlet between the army on one side and far-left terrorists on the other. Freedom of the press is eradicated as broadcasters are forced to read government propaganda with a gun literally pointed at their heads. The First Amendment is briefly resumed only when the news crew smuggles in guns, but they are soon executed by the more advanced weapons of an invading army.

a) Please tell me where in the book black helicopters exist, other than the ones destroyed by Trashy outside of Vegas.
2) I must have missed the part about far-left terrorists.  maybe I should go back and read the book for about the tenth time.
iii) I'm pretty sure in the news scene, everybody gets dead.  Good guys and bad guys.  Pretty much what happens when everybody has guns.


I have no idea what he's talking about either.

I remember the scene with the group of black Army deserters executing white officers on TV, and Randall Flagg turned Las Vegas into a dictatorship where they routinely executed drug users without trial.  Neither seems to fit.
 
2013-05-09 10:29:58 AM  
Who the fark cares about Stephen King? He hasn't written a decent novel since the 80s
 
2013-05-09 10:30:12 AM  

doglover: In The Stand, only a few bad guys had guns.


The good guys had a nuke.
 
2013-05-09 10:30:14 AM  
M-O-O-N, that spells 2nd amendment rights.
 
2013-05-09 10:30:24 AM  
The only way to stop a bad monster with a gun is a good monster with a gun.  -Wayne LapIerre
 
2013-05-09 10:31:09 AM  

Frank N Stein: Who the fark cares about Stephen King? He hasn't written a decent novel since the 80s


I think it was called "Deflection's Lot", amirite?
 
2013-05-09 10:31:57 AM  

CPennypacker: Did NRO just make a death threat against Stephen King? His writing isn't that bad, jeez.


NRO doesn't make death threats.  They make death promises.  Study it out, lib-u-lardo.
 
2013-05-09 10:31:57 AM  

TheMysteriousStranger: Stephen King's books are fiction


Probably needs to be repeated a few more times.
 
2013-05-09 10:32:57 AM  
You know, I bet the dad at the end of The Mist really regretted having a gun.

Saw that movie during a deployment.
That ending was the funniest thing we saw in weeks.
 
2013-05-09 10:33:48 AM  

coeyagi: Frank N Stein: Who the fark cares about Stephen King? He hasn't written a decent novel since the 80s

I think it was called "Deflection's Lot", amirite?


Wtf are you on about?
 
2013-05-09 10:33:52 AM  
The Derpoliers are coming! The Derpoliers are coming!

www.logarchism.com
 
2013-05-09 10:35:05 AM  
In the aforementioned Rage, a psychotic armed student is able to kill several teachers and take a class hostage. Consider how many lives would have been saved and how quickly the hostage-taker would have been stopped had armed guards been present.

That's actually incredibly easy to answer - however many the author of the fictional story wanted to have been saved. No more, no less.

This guy does realize that every single example he gave about some horrible situation being remedied by guns are fictional. They may be based on real events, or have twinges of political or social realism in them, but at the end of the day, Cujo, The Stand, and so on and so forth are fictional stories and thus what does or does not happen is solely at the discretion of the author. Is it really that difficult for this person to distinguish between reality and fantasy? Because, sh*t, based on what he wrote, I'm surprised he didn't say "Man, if only Eddard Stark had a gun he never would have been beheaded and Westoros would be paradise."
 
2013-05-09 10:35:14 AM  
dafuq I just read?

Are there actually people out there who consider this a cogent argument?
 
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