If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Herald-Citizen)   Shiat gets real in the Pop Tart aisle   (herald-citizen.com) divider line 75
    More: Scary, Pop-Tarts, Putnam County, kidnappings, Cookeville Police Officers  
•       •       •

12261 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 May 2013 at 8:53 PM (48 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



75 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2013-05-08 08:57:16 PM
www.inquisitr.com
 
2013-05-08 08:57:47 PM
There is a whole aisle for pop tarts? WTMF? I have to get out more.
 
2013-05-08 08:58:54 PM
I read that article twice and still don't get the gist.
 
2013-05-08 08:59:23 PM
That's why I stick with toaster strudels- poptarts are the food of the debil.
 
2013-05-08 09:00:04 PM
There's an actual Pop Tart aisle?  It's not just mixed in with the breakfast and granola foods?
 
2013-05-08 09:00:49 PM
stick to the   cookie stand
 
2013-05-08 09:01:39 PM
bluebirdofbitterness.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-08 09:02:15 PM
TIL Wal-mart has a pop-tart isle.
 
2013-05-08 09:02:39 PM

studs up: There is a whole aisle for pop tarts? WTMF? I have to get out more.


Cytokine Storm: There's an actual Pop Tart aisle?  It's not just mixed in with the breakfast and granola foods?


This and that, we sound fat
 
2013-05-08 09:04:17 PM
A whole damn aisle?
 
2013-05-08 09:05:45 PM
biatch must give one helluva blowjob to be worth all that.
 
2013-05-08 09:07:45 PM
after going to the bathroom the female went back to the poptart aisle to interact with him?
 
2013-05-08 09:07:56 PM
He obviously enjoys popping the tart.
 
2013-05-08 09:08:34 PM
 
2013-05-08 09:10:26 PM
Attention Walmart shoppers... in the Cookeville Walmart
I have one piece of advice for you
No matter what your boyfriend tells you
There's no sex in the Pop Tart aisle. NONE!
Oh there's POP TARTS in the Pop Tart aisle
But he don't want Pop Tarts. He wants sex
And there's NO sex.. in the Pop Tart aisle.
 
2013-05-08 09:11:24 PM

AGremlin: I read that article twice and still don't get the gist.


You don't want the gist.
 
2013-05-08 09:11:39 PM
And to think that bastard was probably inches away from discovering the angelic pinnacle of modern food manufacturing, the one treat so delicious and perfect (with a side of milk) that single bite alone could scrub all the evil from his mind and soul.  And yet, the S'mores pop tarts escaped his notice.
 
2013-05-08 09:12:15 PM

Somebody Else: AGremlin: I read that article twice and still don't get the gist.

You don't want the gist.


You can't handle the gist.
 
2013-05-08 09:12:30 PM
"Pop Tart....YO Pop Tart..."
 
2013-05-08 09:12:45 PM

WippitGuud: Attention Walmart shoppers... in the Cookeville Walmart
I have one piece of advice for you
No matter what your boyfriend tells you
There's no sex in the Pop Tart aisle. NONE!
Oh there's POP TARTS in the Pop Tart aisle
But he don't want Pop Tarts. He wants sex
And there's NO sex.. in the Pop Tart aisle.


LMFAO!!! Thread over!
 
2013-05-08 09:12:57 PM

Somebody Else: AGremlin: I read that article twice and still don't get the gist.

You don't want the gist.


You can't handle the gist.
 
2013-05-08 09:13:19 PM
Nyancat, please.
 
2013-05-08 09:13:40 PM
"We were able to place both cuffs on Mr. Gist, and he started yelling at us and stated that he was just shopping for Pop Tarts and did not know why he was getting arrested," says a report by Officer Hees. "He continued to scream while he was on the floor."


All I wanted was a Pepsi Pop Tart!
 
2013-05-08 09:14:00 PM

AGremlin: I read that article twice and still don't get the gist.


You bastard *shakes tiny fist*

Screw it, I'm doing it anyway.

The officers quickly pinned Gist up against a merchandise shelf and attempted to handcuff him, but he began yelling and resisting the officers, and they were forced to "put him on the ground," one report says.

So, they got the Gist?
 
2013-05-08 09:14:24 PM
I honestly thought this would be a story of somebody pooping on the floor at the grocery store.
 
2013-05-08 09:16:53 PM
Women love the bad boys. Now we just wait for the follow-up where she pays his bail, takes him back, and he puts her in the hospital.
 
2013-05-08 09:16:57 PM

Popcorn Johnny: I honestly thought this would be a story of somebody pooping on the floor at the grocery store.


Everybody walk the dinosaur
 
2013-05-08 09:18:04 PM

fusillade762: "We were able to place both cuffs on Mr. Gist, and he started yelling at us and stated that he was just shopping for Pop Tarts and did not know why he was getting arrested," says a report by Officer Hees. "He continued to scream while he was on the floor."


All I wanted was a Pepsi Pop Tart!


And she wouldn't give it to him...
 
2013-05-08 09:20:17 PM

Cytokine Storm: Popcorn Johnny: I honestly thought this would be a story of somebody pooping on the floor at the grocery store.

Everybody walk the dinosaur


And I've never met a girl like you before.
 
2013-05-08 09:20:35 PM
TFA doesn't mention what kind of Pop Tarts he bought, after going to great lengths to make sure we all knew he was in the Pop Tart aisle.  All that build up for nothing.  Now I'll never get to sleep.
 
2013-05-08 09:22:03 PM

Mad Mark: Somebody Else: AGremlin: I read that article twice and still don't get the gist.

You don't want the gist.

You can't handle the gist.


I got the Gist and it slapped me something proper.
 
2013-05-08 09:22:37 PM

r0cj07p: TFA doesn't mention what kind of Pop Tarts he bought


Frosted strawberry, duh.
 
2013-05-08 09:24:11 PM
Quaker made a pop tart ripoff for a short while, called a Toaster Pastry. It was pretty damn good. Then it was discontinued. Boo.

Toaster Strudels > Organic Pop Tarts > Pop Tarts
 
2013-05-08 09:24:22 PM

Cytokine Storm: There's an actual Pop Tart aisle?  It's not just mixed in with the breakfast and granola foods?


You think they sell granola at Wal-Mart?? What else??? Diet drinks? Low calorie foods? Books on how to make yourself more classy?
 
2013-05-08 09:24:41 PM

Popcorn Johnny: r0cj07p: TFA doesn't mention what kind of Pop Tarts he bought

Frosted strawberry, duh.


Cherry. Popped Cherry tart.
 
2013-05-08 09:24:52 PM
I tried to RTFA but I got confused. And now I want Pop Tarts.
 
2013-05-08 09:24:59 PM

untaken_name: Women love the bad boys. Now we just wait for the follow-up where she pays his bail, takes him back, and he puts her in the hospital.


God,she was obviously terrified of him. She had a restraining order against him,what a shiatty thing to say. There's nothing funny about this news item that I can see.
 
2013-05-08 09:25:00 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-08 09:25:45 PM
I got the gist. He's a dooooooooooche nozzle.
 
2013-05-08 09:27:34 PM
I love it when my tart pops.
 
2013-05-08 09:28:33 PM
Pop-tarts and Cocaine. They go together like Cocaine and Pop-Tards
 
2013-05-08 09:28:48 PM

shastacola: untaken_name: Women love the bad boys. Now we just wait for the follow-up where she pays his bail, takes him back, and he puts her in the hospital.

God,she was obviously terrified of him. She had a restraining order against him,what a shiatty thing to say. There's nothing funny about this news item that I can see.


You don't think that a whole aisle dedicated to pop tarts is funny? Not even sad funny?
 
2013-05-08 09:31:05 PM
s3-media3.ak.yelpcdn.com
 
2013-05-08 09:31:38 PM

lantawa: I love it when my tart pops.


i2.ytimg.com
Ortega make my tart pop.
 
2013-05-08 09:32:14 PM

Cytokine Storm: Popcorn Johnny: I honestly thought this would be a story of somebody pooping on the floor at the grocery store.

Everybody walk the dinosaur


encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-05-08 09:32:33 PM
His girlfriend had managed to get away from him in Walmart long enough to go to the rest room, and while there, she phoned her mother and told her to call the police.

The girlfriend didn't know the number for 9-1-1.
 
2013-05-08 09:33:21 PM

Popcorn Johnny: r0cj07p: TFA doesn't mention what kind of Pop Tarts he bought

Frosted strawberry, duh.


Ooooh, those are the best. And by "best" I mean "most flammable"

www.pmichaud.com

/first video I ever watched on the Internet...
 
2013-05-08 09:40:24 PM
img14.imageshack.us
 
2013-05-08 09:42:27 PM

shastacola: untaken_name: Women love the bad boys. Now we just wait for the follow-up where she pays his bail, takes him back, and he puts her in the hospital.

God,she was obviously terrified of him. She had a restraining order against him,what a shiatty thing to say. There's nothing funny about this news item that I can see.


Well according to TFA, the history of this couple is so on-going and violent that it is well-known to the cops.
 
2013-05-08 09:43:30 PM

Popcorn Johnny: I honestly thought this would be a story of somebody pooping on the floor at the grocery store.


Don't feel bad, I thought that too.

On the plus side, we got to read about this douchebag's well deserved arse-kicking.
 
2013-05-08 09:46:12 PM
TFA kind of glosses over the whole, FREE COKE!!1 aspect of this story.
 
2013-05-08 09:49:01 PM
What a deep-fried Pop-Tart covered in cocaine might look like:

thoughtsappear.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-05-08 09:49:07 PM
Once Gist was taken away, the woman told officers what had happened. She said it began the day before when Gist, who by court order was not to be around her, tracked her down at a residence in rural Putnam County and assaulted her. She told the officers that when Gist found her there, he was very angry and "poured cocaine out on a table and forced her face into it, attempting to get her to snort cocaine," one report says.

What a lucky gal.
 
2013-05-08 09:49:52 PM
At least he wasn't in the Serial aisle.
 
2013-05-08 09:50:17 PM
Goddamn America is awesome. We have stores with entire aisles devoted soley to Pop Tarts. Kick ass, motherfarkers!
 
2013-05-08 09:56:27 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-05-08 10:00:21 PM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-05-08 10:02:49 PM
Frosted brown sugar poptarts are the best!
 
2013-05-08 10:10:25 PM
I wonder what other product-specific aisles might exist at Walmart...
 
2013-05-08 10:10:45 PM
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2013-05-08 10:12:57 PM
No one shoves my face in a table full of cocaine :(
 
2013-05-08 10:14:44 PM

bdub77: [i.imgur.com image 466x462]


Nicely done
 
2013-05-08 10:17:36 PM
This is the same police department that killed a dog for no reason (and paid big).

/ashamed to admit I live here
 
2013-05-08 10:21:17 PM

Marvin: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x304]


came to post this

/Potassium BROMATE?!
 
2013-05-08 10:55:01 PM

bdub77: [i.imgur.com image 466x462]


although i love frosted cherry poptarts either toasted to a dangerous molten lava or even at room temp, I appreciate the opinion and emotion of this bear.

in addition, I enjoy the fact that this bear could either have snow or cocaine all over it's furry self.

terrific,
 
2013-05-08 11:01:53 PM

lewismarktwo: A whole damn aisle?


seriously!?! That' what I came here to marvel at. I wish my local store had a pop-tart aisle.
 
2013-05-08 11:41:00 PM

megarian: No one shoves my face in a table full of cocaine :(


Get a job as a stripper and that will happen all the time.

Let me know how that career choice goes for you.
 
2013-05-08 11:54:51 PM
Let's not get too proud on the entire aisle of pop tarts. For every Kellogg's flavor they also need a great value toaster pastry flavor too.
 
2013-05-09 12:11:06 AM
I rarely eat processed foods but nothing beats pop tarts when getting tossed around at sea. I don't know why but it works for me.
 
2013-05-09 12:12:11 AM
Wow. What a useless piece of shiat.
 
2013-05-09 12:21:01 AM
I told u I was hardcore
 
2013-05-09 08:54:53 AM
She calls her mom to call the police?
www.troll.me
 
2013-05-09 11:06:41 AM
What kind of limp-wristed douche comes at a guy with a baseball bat and gets his ass run out of his own house?? I mean, seriously...

/I am a middle-aged gay so save the butthurt...
//the day I can't whip an unarmed man with my baseball bat is the day I commit 'suicide-by pop-tart'...
///diabetic, don't ya know...
 
2013-05-09 11:58:49 AM
Hometown news on Fark!
I went to high school with one of the cops in TFA.  Didn't know he was now a cop.

/Thank you, Fark, for keeping me infromed
 
2013-05-09 08:38:49 PM

payattention: What kind of limp-wristed douche comes at a guy with a baseball bat and gets his ass run out of his own house?? I mean, seriously...

/I am a middle-aged gay so save the butthurt...
//the day I can't whip an unarmed man with my baseball bat is the day I commit 'suicide-by pop-tart'...
///diabetic, don't ya know...


Well, you're gonna be a weak-assed sonuvabiatch by 70, so get ready for that.
 
Displayed 75 of 75 comments



This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report